The Church Kids are Brats

Skeery calls Steven from the church looking for a donation, after he complains that the school kids are littering on his lawn!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tab.
All right, scary, Yes, let's get into your phone tab.
What's going on? I Lean wants the phone to tap
her husband, Steven.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Now, they live across the street from a Catholic school
and a church, and every afternoon after school gets out,
there's a lot of this garbage and debris left behind
by the parents and the kids. So Stephen wrote a
letter to the school about the problem. Hasn't heard back
from them yet. So I'm gonna pretend like I'm from
the rectory calling back about Stephen's complaints.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Right, calling from the rectory. Oh boy a right, you're
calling from the rectory rectory. We'll see what happens. You're
scary rectory phone tap. Yeah, I'm looking for Stephen. Please
speaking Steven. Hi, how are you? This is John O'Malley.
I'm with Sam. They're going, Oh okay.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm just calling to follow up on your complaint letter
to our church regarding the Catholic school kids. Oh and
how they make a mess in front of your house
with gum wrappers and candy and Dixie cups and cigarette
butts left by their parents.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh yeah, absolutely I sweep up in front of the
house fifty cigarette butts a week because the parents come
to pick up the kids, obviously they're smoking, and they
throw the cigarette butts out in front of the house.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I think that the good book will tell you that
people littered in those times, and that although it's unacceptable today,
that maybe they're going back to the traditions of the past.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Traditions of the past is nothing, It is common courtesy.
I already caught one woman. The kids came out of
the school, jumped in this suv. The woman opened the
door and dumped the ashtray in front of my house.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Maybe they were the ashes of a deceased family member
of theirs, and they wanted to spread them around the area.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
This is like totally like a useless conversation with you.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I just want to know why you feel they need
to make more comments to these families as they're passing
through that street.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Well, what is the root common Well, you've.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Been known to call them little bastard kids.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
I've the little I turned around, I said, I don't
have to deal with these little brats.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
These are children of the Lord, sir. Okay, yes, yeah,
I understand, Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
The Lord is our shepherd, and these are our lambs,
and you're yelling at our lambs.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Excuse me. I come home and when I witnessed this,
I turned around and I said, could you please not
do that?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
So then why don't you send a little money our way,
and then we'll make a public announcement to not dump
cigarette butts and candy wrappers on the street.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Guess what I don't owe your school squat.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
It would be nice of you in the face of
all this.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
We've got five hundred dollars donation, and we can make
this problem go away, and the Lord will forgive you.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
The Lord will forgive me for five hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Five hundred dollars. Send that in. The Lord would appreciate that.
Thank you, God be trust.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Well, guess what what's that? I'll die as Simmoth. I'll
burn an hell.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
You will, Lucifer will get you. Yes, I will be
Ausie Bob.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Why don't you just walk up to my front door.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
The Lord is my savior, who's yours?

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Lord is your Well? Guess what somebody else better save
your raft.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Let me tell you something. You better give me that
five hundred dollars. You're gonna have a bigger problem than
cigarette button candy.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
This is about a five hundred dollars donation.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
We're gonna send some collectors around. I'm gonna send Sister
Angelica after me.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Buddy, you want you slimy pieces? Hey hey, hey, hey,
you're and you're a hitch. That's all you are.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
I got Luke and Matt and John and Paul and
all the Corinthians, and we're coming to kick your ass.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
And ring my doorbells and see where you land.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
You're a sinner, though you admit you're a sinner.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Oh I'm a sinner.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
You're s I'm a steven.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Repeat after me, if you will bless me father, for
I have sinned. And this is your first phone tap.
This is scary Jones, Helvis rand in the Morning Show.
You've been phone tapped.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's a joke.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
What did you do to me? Lean? You wouldn't get home,
You have no idea and you if I could find you,
I'd kill you.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Phone tap.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by
all participants. The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis
Duran in the Morning Show