April 10, 2025 • 20 mins
Jay Shetty joins us to discuss his new tour! Get tickets here!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Live from the Mercedes Benz Interview Lounge.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Jay Shetty is right here. It's so good to be back.
Thanks for having me. You know, Jay, I read lived
like a month, thinks like a month than a moth.
That was what twenty twenty? That's right, that's when it
came out. Okay. But I've heard you on all your podcasts,
I've seen you all over TV. You wake me up
with meditation. But still, when I look into your eyes,
(00:27):
I feel like I'm swimming in pools of ecstasies. Is
that a good thing? It is a good thing? Yeah?
I mean, are you? I mean it's a physical thing.
And I know that we should be talking about our
hearts and our minds, our spirits. But is it like
a shadow thing when people look into your eyes? I
know you hear a lot of people. You know what's
really funny. I was talking about this with someone else
the other day. I had a random aunt. I think
everyone has a random aunt. Had a random aunt when
(00:49):
I was young come up to me. I was overweight,
growing up, I struggled with being bullied and all the
rest of me. She came up to me. Here is Jay,
you know what the only nice thing about you physically.
She was talking about is your eyes not even the
shape of your eyes, just the color. And I'll never
forget it. And I'll never forget it. It's just stated
(01:10):
me for that long. So you can see a scard.
I am by it. But yeah, it was just your
night color. You're busted Tellian. Yes, And I was like,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Last time I saw one. She looked at me and
she was like, my god, you've got a little fat
Indiana them.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
It's so great having Gandhi here is a part of
her family. You've been with us for how many years now?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Seven?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
We've learned so much about Indian culture with Gandhi, her
mom and her dad, her crazy dad. She invited her
dad in here to be on her podcast. And can
I say it?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Oh, I don't mind if you say it.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Because it's the it's a word that we don't like
to use, he said. Growing up, yes, she would learn
great things in life by leaps and bounds, quantum leaps.
But we all thought she was retarded.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yes, providers, babysitters. He's like, watch out, there's something wrong
with right I And he loves telling people this.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I'm good I'm Scottish. I mean it's just flattery. Wow,
I mean it's just flustered. As an Indian kid, Yes,
I wouldn't survived this long. Absolutely, we have many things
to celebrate here. Jay Jay's wildly popular podcast On Purpose,
which is over five years and run in now taking
it on tour now, of course millions and millions or
ten millions of people love to download this podcast, but
(02:28):
taking it on the road, it's a podcast. Well, you
can just sit in a room with a microphone. Why
do you have to get on a plane and travel
to all these cities to meet the people that love
listening to you. Yeah. What I'm really excited about is
I think people right now are looking for connection and
the fact that you can come to one of these
events with doing fifteen shows, fifteen surprise guests, you can
look left and right and you're going to see someone
(02:49):
who's like minded. You're going to see someone else who
tunes in every day every week to listen to the podcast.
You can walk out there with a new friend, maybe
a new girlfriend, maybe a new partner who knows And
I love the idea that people can actually come and
be in a space where they feel safe where they
feel connected, where they feel they can reflect and everything else.
I was looking at this. Have you ever heard of
the third space theory? No? No telling. So the third
(03:11):
space theory says that basically, around twenty five thirty years ago,
we had three spaces we spent time in. We had home,
we had work, and then we had church or temple
or a community center or somewhere that you went. And
then as time went on, we lost that and it
became home and work, and then after the pandemic, it
became just home. So we eat where we're meant to sleep,
we sleep where we're meant to eat, and we work
(03:32):
where we're meant to sleep. Right, all of our spaces
are in one place, So we've lost spaces where we
can reflect and connect. That was the purpose of church,
a community center, a space where you had space away
from home and work to think how to be better.
And I think this is that space. So I feel
like this event is going to provide that for people. Wow,
And I'm sure it's very much appreciated and needed. Even
(03:53):
you acknowledge the people that you speak with day in
and day out on your podcast, they love what you
bring to them. The guests that you have. I mean,
how much fun are you having compared to let's say,
when you were just doing Facebook videos or I've seen
videos of Jay Shetty in a room of like three
people speaking the same way he speaks now to an
arena of fifty thousand people. Well, that was the joy
(04:16):
of him. And we were just talking about that, and
it's been such an incredible journey. I remember going to
events in rooms half the size of this and zero
people showing up, and I'd come back the next week,
I'd practice my speech. I'd come back the next week,
zero people showed up. And then I realized I had
to fire the person putting the flyers up because obviously
this pre social media. And then the third time I came,
(04:37):
maybe two people came, maybe five people came. I spent
ten years speaking to tiny rooms of people before I
even made a video. And so today, the fact that
there's millions of people listening, there's you know, tens of
thousands of people coming to events, it's truly mind boggling
to me. And I live in gratitude because I can't
believe it myself. What was it that you think pushed
that over the edge to get all the people to
(04:58):
come it. Truly, it was the megaphone and the the
ease and accessibility of social media. When I was sitting
in a room and speaking to small groups of people,
maybe they tell their friends and maybe you'd get ten
people the week after. The fact that I could upload
a video and reach people all over the world is
now we take it for granted. Now it seems like
(05:20):
the most obvious thing. It's just when I started posting
in twenty sixteen, I couldn't believe it. So to me,
it just shows that today in a world where I
remember being rejected by execs from having a mindfulness video
series idea because they said I didn't have enough experience
in media, I remember being told by other people in
media that I shouldn't even try and get a job.
(05:40):
I remember just being shut down by the traditional paths,
And so to me, it's just a reminder to anyone
out there who has a dream of being in media,
hosting a show, whatever it may be, that it is
possible and you don't have to go down the traditional route.
A great takeaway from where Jay was versus where Jay
is now, where we are versus where we were then,
confidence being able to be at ease with people. Listening
(06:04):
to people's a very important thing. We've all learned this
over the years, as you have. And now would you
find in this day in twenty twenty five, what's the
number one thing people want to take away from their
time with you? And how do you recognize that through them?
And how do you deliver that. There's two things that
constantly come up. One is the timelines of life. Should
(06:25):
I be married by now? Should I have it all
figured out? Should I know what my purpose is? Should
I know what my career is? I think we all
obsess over these checklists and boxes that we thought we
were meant to live by, and everyone's not living up
to the timeline that their parent or society. But to
tell them it's a heavy question to ask me to
be answered. I like to remind people that there is
(06:47):
no timeline, there is no deadline. There are so many
people who found what they loved at fifty or sixty.
There are so many people who found it at twenty.
Some people found the person they loved at twenty but
didn't find their purpose still sick. Someone found their ideal
career at thirty but didn't have children un till forty five,
and there wasn't a right or wrong way of doing it.
(07:08):
It was simply your time. And I think when we
live in a world that we constantly think I'm behind, then,
by the way, when you're ahead, you're thinking how long
will it last? And so you're constantly strapped for time,
whichever way you look at it. And so I like
to remind people that their life is going at the
pace and time that it's meant to. What's more important
figuring out and identifying your purpose or the journey to
(07:29):
figure out and identify your purpose. It's always about the pursuit,
isn't it. It's always about There's a great Nike published
this book and I don't know why they did it,
but it's this orange book that I have and I
look at it every morning, and on the front cover
they have this slogan which isn't just do it. The
slogan is there is no finish line. And I love
(07:51):
that because it just takes away this pressure that we're
all trying to reach the top of the mountain, the peak,
this moment where everything becomes easy and everything becomes okay,
and he goes, no, there is no finish line. Stop
looking for that the reason you think there is a
finish line, or thinking there's a finish line, it's what
causes stress because you feel far away from it. It's
what causes pressure. It's what causes tension. Is the belief
(08:12):
that there is an end, a place that you reach
where none of this exists. Whereas as soon as you
accept that there is no finish line, you go, oh,
this is it. I'm living in it right now, this
moment is it. And if I can just live in it,
then that's beautiful. That's what's needed. So if you're just
turning us on, Jay Shetty is here, Gandhi. You had
a question.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
So your life has evolved so much from the time
that you are working with monks, studying under monks, I
should say to now you're flying across the world private planes,
like it is completely opposite of what it.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Used to be. The planes. I'm still waiting for those.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Okay, I'm in that part of in my head. But
you're traveling and you're huge. There's a huge focus on you. Now,
how do you reconcile those two things? And do you
have to work harder now to find that same peace
and stillness that you had before?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
For sure. I mean, it's it's been twelve years since
I left the monastery, and twelve years starts to feel
like longer and longer and longer, especially because my life
feels so different today and embracing the change of I
am married, I do have a podcast, I do have
a different life today, and a part of me has
to move forward into that. And I think this is
(09:15):
anyone who's grieving a former life, right. I was just
talking to my friend yesterday who's had a baby that
he loves and adores, but at the same time, he's like,
there's parts I miss about you know, what it looked
like to just be married. It will be single, Like
you grieve a former life that you had, but you
have to be okay with life is changing and moving.
As soon as I get back this week to La,
my monk teacher who's going to be seventy five this year,
(09:37):
is going to come and live with us for a
couple of weeks, and I can't wait to wake up
every day in the morning early to meditate with him
and to spend the evenings talking with him. So I
try to find these ways of grounding. By the way,
I'm reminded every day that I am less monk and
less calm, And you know, but that's the beauty of it.
I think I've learned to relish the battle in that
when I'm on the battlefield, I'm reminded of my weaknesses
(09:58):
and my flaws, which make me want to meditate more
and find more calm. Whereas maybe if I was in
a beautiful God, and I may think I'm enlightened, but
that might actually be more dangerous. So there's a beauty
in being reminded every day that I have an ego,
that I have anxiety, that I have stressed, that I
compare myself to others, that I'm human, and that encourages
me to take my practices more seriously. You know, we
(10:21):
live in this world full of hate and awful news
and discourse and war, and which is nothing new. It's
been around since long before we were here. It'll be
here long after we leave today. How are we coping
with these things? What's the best? Sure far, push the
button and you're going to be better way to maneuver
(10:45):
through these obstacles that we see through life. But we
also give ourselves because we become anxious over these these days.
I think the challenge today is that you don't find
your news. News finds you, right, You just scroll on
TikTok and you'll see something you don't even know the publication,
You don't even know the journalist, You don't even know
(11:05):
it's been vetted. You don't even know if it's true.
You don't even know if it's ai. You're real, and
all of a sudden, you're assuming that it is true,
that it's factual, that it's real, and even if it's not,
you're consuming it as it is. So to me, the
number one thing is don't wake up to your phone.
It's as simple as that. Don't wake up to your phone.
Don't make the first thing you see in the morning news, negativity,
(11:25):
notifications and noise. You would never let one hundred people
into your bedroom in the morning before you've showered, put
your makeup on, brushed to your So you don't know me. Oh,
but I can't help you. Then, what do we start
our day with? As soon as it's time to wake
up and get the train roll? And what does that
(11:48):
first hour look like? It isn't even it doesn't even
need to be an hour. I would say it literally
needs to be ten to fifteen minutes of just waking up,
walking like a normal person like we used to do
a few just a few years by, and brushing your
teeth and looking in the mirror and then taking a
shower like a normal person. That yeah, literally we all
do it. Hold and me too, me too, are holding
the phone like this, and it's like, well, well, let's
(12:10):
just not do that. Let's actually brush our teeth and
guess what, you probably have cleaner teeth and you'll have
better teeth and all the rest of it. You shower better, right,
whatever it is like, just being present in that activity
for fifteen minutes, not even an hour, and just allowing
yourself and your brain to catch up just as you
would you. I mean, you may let one hundred people
into your bedroom first thing in the morning, but yeah,
but but everyone else like you would never do that.
(12:32):
You would never let a hundred people come in and
say and your boss is emailing you. You never let your
boss walk into your bedroom and say, by the way,
I need that report first thing in the morning. You
would never let your mum come in and say why
you're not married yet? You never let you know whatever
it is like. You would never let someone just come
into your bedroom and say, hey, these are the three
things you never do that you have a certain boundary.
So if we have a physical boundary in our bedroom,
(12:53):
why not have a mental boundary in the bedroom of
your mind to say, I don't let notifications, negativity, news,
and noise come into my mind. First thing in the morning,
ten to fifteen minutes tops. Okay, what about this, the
day gets started, you get you get on the train,
you get on the past, would get cracked? Don before
five pm? Hits? What about those check ins during the day.
(13:14):
You can't just devote your entire life to something else
and someone else all day. You do need to stop
down and what during the course of the day. One
of the things I love, which I put forward when
I when I was teaching meditation and mindfulness the company
I used to work at. One of the things that
we in stated that really helped was at the start
of every meeting, just have everyone take three breaths. Just
(13:36):
start every meeting that way. I encourage you all to
do as well before every meeting. Right now, just three breaths. Okay,
he really does. I was gonna say you took one breath, and.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I was gonna say when he walked in. I think
it was the right.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Take three. Reason why I'm saying the reason why I'm
saying is most of us are running from our last
meeting to our next meeting. With carrying the baggage from
our last meeting to our next meeting. Most of us
are not even present in today's meeting because we're still
thinking about the last one or thinking about the next one.
That moment that everyone gets to align, if you think
about it, everyone's coming in at different places and different paces.
Someone's coming in and their kids late to school. Someone
(14:14):
else is coming in and they're thinking about the last meeting.
Someone else is coming in, they're thinking about the weekend.
When you will take three breaths in sync together, you're
now aligned. When you're aligned, you now actually have the
chance of actually helping, supporting, being collaborative, and everyone else
not carrying that. So it's not the oh my gosh,
the three breaths. It's like, how do we get on
the same page as quick as possible and give everyone
(14:35):
space to decompress and disconnect from everything else. Before this,
we sure have been using that word calibrate and recalibrate
a lot lately. Yeah, calibration is an interesting thing. I
always thought, well, this calibration, recalibration concept, you can use
that with anything in life, with friends, with the people
you're dealing with at work, whatever. But you have to
find the way to recalibrate, and as simply as something
(14:57):
as simple as a breathing exercise, truly, or some silence. See,
we can't be silent on this show because alarms go
off and a computer in the back starts playing a song.
It's like silly, dead airs deadly on this show. But
to be able to stop down and have that right there,
that moment of silence, so you were all kind of
(15:19):
recalibrating as you do it. Absolutely, I'm ready for a nap.
That happens when you slow down. Your buddy actually tells
you what it needs.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yes, So for you, let's say, in minutes or hours,
however long it is, how much time do you actually
spend consuming media on your phone? Because that's your platform.
You're putting things out and I'm assuming you're getting feedback
from people constantly. But that's also something that would bring
a lot of stress. So how much time do you
spend and how do you balance the show?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I try and spend time on my phone in my gaps.
So right now, if I'm taking a new bid to
another meeting or whatever, maybe that's when I'll check and
I'll reply to comments, so I'll be connected because I
enjoy doing that. But I try not to be a
consumer as much as I am creating or connecting. And
I think for a lot of people, if you're consuming,
make sure what you're consuming is actually helping you and
making you feel better. And second of all, create times
(16:05):
of the day that are no technology times and no
technology zones. So in your home, literally imagine a laser
around the dining table. Literally imagine a laser around the bedroom,
Like those are zones where you don't take your phone.
Like imagine you took your phone and your arm just
got cut off because of this laser, Like, you know,
just imagine that for a second and allow yourself to say, well,
this is a space that we're going to keep as
(16:27):
a no technology zone. Like literally put that sign up
that has the red cross against a picture of phone.
Whatever it takes to realize maybe there are certain spaces
in your home that are sacred. Maybe there are certain
spaces that are meant for connection and love and talking
to your kids or whatever it may be. It doesn't
have to be a whole day. And so I think,
rather than trying to be like I'm not going to
look at my phone all day, which we're all going
(16:49):
to fail at, let's say there's just a couple of
times six to eight pm every day, I don't look
at my phone, at the dining table, at the kitchen table,
at the bedroom, I don't look at my phone. That's
simple act will save you from those hours of doom scrolling. Well,
you know you say that. I mean you could say
that your bedroom is your technology for you zone. But
there it is, that new digital vibrator. I don't know
(17:15):
I said phones. I didn't say no to there's nothing
works that You heard the phone ring and you answer
the vibrantor they're always so if someone's talking to me. Look,
we have to remind everyone that Jay's on purpose podcast
on tour is happening. We need to get people in
those seats. Yes, I'm sure a lot of them are gone,
(17:35):
but we have a few left. Where do I go
to find out where I can see you? So go
to jyshetty dot me Forward slash Tour in New York.
We're gonna. That's a lot of words. Jay Shetty dot
me forward slash tour. It's simple, it's really simple. But
we're going to be at the theater at MSG and
New York, so please come along. If you're in LA
we'll be at the Greek Theater. Uh. And then of
(17:56):
course we're at fifteen cities across North American and Canada.
So hold on, what if I just do ja me
and then I'll find the tour on there you will?
You will. But if you typing forward slash tour, you'll
get there one. So that's way too much for Look,
I have no brain cells. I'm speaking speaking for the
brain cells population. Before you go, I want to ask
who was your favorite guest? Can you pay? Ooh, that's
(18:17):
that's a do you know what? Oh my gosh, who's
my favorite guest? I'll give my most recent favorite guest
because it was such an amazing show. It was having
Benny and Selena and at the same time, it was
such a special episode because they just showed up in
their rarest, most vulnerable, most honest and what was really
beautiful is the episode was all over TikTok and Instagram,
but the conversation was all around positive masculinity and the
(18:40):
comments were hilarious. There's one comment that says, I'm just
leaving this on loud so that my husband can hear
what Bennie has to say. And it was just beautiful
to see people talking about the need for emotionally intelligent
love when usually when we're talking about love or you know,
whatever it may be, today, there's always some sort of
gossip or stress or whatever it may be. This was
a beautifully evolved conversation going viral, So it was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Wow, do you have a least favorite guest?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I'll tell you this was always goes to the menacing side.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I asked the questions that people want to know.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Jay, we love that you're here today. Thank you so much,
and yeah, you know it's easy and needed to hear
these podcasts when you have your time alone with Jay uh,
but also to be in the same room, to be
in that space where you are rarely rarely with j Shetty.
What a gift. How many? How many cities and steam
fifteen cities and fifteen surprise guests too, So some of
(19:35):
your favorites from the show, some exciting new ones. You'll
get to see someone you love to. Jay does have
a private plane. It has United Britten on the side
of it on purpose. The live tour with j Shetty.
Go to Jshetty dot me and then search for the tour.
No go. They get confused. It's a lot of letters.
(19:55):
They won't sell me jetty dot com whoever has it? Yeah,
who I'll go. Some guy called taking care of sal
You guys are the last. That's weird. Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
Live from the Mercedes Benz Interview Lounge.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Jay Shetty is right here. It's so good to be back.
Thanks for having me. You know, Jay, I read lived
like a month, thinks like a month than a moth.
That was what twenty twenty? That's right, that's when it
came out. Okay. But I've heard you on all your podcasts,
I've seen you all over TV. You wake me up
with meditation. But still, when I look into your eyes,
(00:27):
I feel like I'm swimming in pools of ecstasies. Is
that a good thing? It is a good thing? Yeah?
I mean, are you? I mean it's a physical thing.
And I know that we should be talking about our
hearts and our minds, our spirits. But is it like
a shadow thing when people look into your eyes? I
know you hear a lot of people. You know what's
really funny. I was talking about this with someone else
the other day. I had a random aunt. I think
everyone has a random aunt. Had a random aunt when
(00:49):
I was young come up to me. I was overweight,
growing up, I struggled with being bullied and all the
rest of me. She came up to me. Here is Jay,
you know what the only nice thing about you physically.
She was talking about is your eyes not even the
shape of your eyes, just the color. And I'll never
forget it. And I'll never forget it. It's just stated
(01:10):
me for that long. So you can see a scard.
I am by it. But yeah, it was just your
night color. You're busted Tellian. Yes, And I was like,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Last time I saw one. She looked at me and
she was like, my god, you've got a little fat
Indiana them.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
It's so great having Gandhi here is a part of
her family. You've been with us for how many years now?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Seven?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
We've learned so much about Indian culture with Gandhi, her
mom and her dad, her crazy dad. She invited her
dad in here to be on her podcast. And can
I say it?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Oh, I don't mind if you say it.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Because it's the it's a word that we don't like
to use, he said. Growing up, yes, she would learn
great things in life by leaps and bounds, quantum leaps.
But we all thought she was retarded.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yes, providers, babysitters. He's like, watch out, there's something wrong
with right I And he loves telling people this.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I'm good I'm Scottish. I mean it's just flattery. Wow,
I mean it's just flustered. As an Indian kid, Yes,
I wouldn't survived this long. Absolutely, we have many things
to celebrate here. Jay Jay's wildly popular podcast On Purpose,
which is over five years and run in now taking
it on tour now, of course millions and millions or
ten millions of people love to download this podcast, but
(02:28):
taking it on the road, it's a podcast. Well, you
can just sit in a room with a microphone. Why
do you have to get on a plane and travel
to all these cities to meet the people that love
listening to you. Yeah. What I'm really excited about is
I think people right now are looking for connection and
the fact that you can come to one of these
events with doing fifteen shows, fifteen surprise guests, you can
look left and right and you're going to see someone
(02:49):
who's like minded. You're going to see someone else who
tunes in every day every week to listen to the podcast.
You can walk out there with a new friend, maybe
a new girlfriend, maybe a new partner who knows And
I love the idea that people can actually come and
be in a space where they feel safe where they
feel connected, where they feel they can reflect and everything else.
I was looking at this. Have you ever heard of
the third space theory? No? No telling. So the third
(03:11):
space theory says that basically, around twenty five thirty years ago,
we had three spaces we spent time in. We had home,
we had work, and then we had church or temple
or a community center or somewhere that you went. And
then as time went on, we lost that and it
became home and work, and then after the pandemic, it
became just home. So we eat where we're meant to sleep,
we sleep where we're meant to eat, and we work
(03:32):
where we're meant to sleep. Right, all of our spaces
are in one place, So we've lost spaces where we
can reflect and connect. That was the purpose of church,
a community center, a space where you had space away
from home and work to think how to be better.
And I think this is that space. So I feel
like this event is going to provide that for people. Wow,
And I'm sure it's very much appreciated and needed. Even
(03:53):
you acknowledge the people that you speak with day in
and day out on your podcast, they love what you
bring to them. The guests that you have. I mean,
how much fun are you having compared to let's say,
when you were just doing Facebook videos or I've seen
videos of Jay Shetty in a room of like three
people speaking the same way he speaks now to an
arena of fifty thousand people. Well, that was the joy
(04:16):
of him. And we were just talking about that, and
it's been such an incredible journey. I remember going to
events in rooms half the size of this and zero
people showing up, and I'd come back the next week,
I'd practice my speech. I'd come back the next week,
zero people showed up. And then I realized I had
to fire the person putting the flyers up because obviously
this pre social media. And then the third time I came,
(04:37):
maybe two people came, maybe five people came. I spent
ten years speaking to tiny rooms of people before I
even made a video. And so today, the fact that
there's millions of people listening, there's you know, tens of
thousands of people coming to events, it's truly mind boggling
to me. And I live in gratitude because I can't
believe it myself. What was it that you think pushed
that over the edge to get all the people to
(04:58):
come it. Truly, it was the megaphone and the the
ease and accessibility of social media. When I was sitting
in a room and speaking to small groups of people,
maybe they tell their friends and maybe you'd get ten
people the week after. The fact that I could upload
a video and reach people all over the world is
now we take it for granted. Now it seems like
(05:20):
the most obvious thing. It's just when I started posting
in twenty sixteen, I couldn't believe it. So to me,
it just shows that today in a world where I
remember being rejected by execs from having a mindfulness video
series idea because they said I didn't have enough experience
in media, I remember being told by other people in
media that I shouldn't even try and get a job.
(05:40):
I remember just being shut down by the traditional paths,
And so to me, it's just a reminder to anyone
out there who has a dream of being in media,
hosting a show, whatever it may be, that it is
possible and you don't have to go down the traditional route.
A great takeaway from where Jay was versus where Jay
is now, where we are versus where we were then,
confidence being able to be at ease with people. Listening
(06:04):
to people's a very important thing. We've all learned this
over the years, as you have. And now would you
find in this day in twenty twenty five, what's the
number one thing people want to take away from their
time with you? And how do you recognize that through them?
And how do you deliver that. There's two things that
constantly come up. One is the timelines of life. Should
(06:25):
I be married by now? Should I have it all
figured out? Should I know what my purpose is? Should
I know what my career is? I think we all
obsess over these checklists and boxes that we thought we
were meant to live by, and everyone's not living up
to the timeline that their parent or society. But to
tell them it's a heavy question to ask me to
be answered. I like to remind people that there is
(06:47):
no timeline, there is no deadline. There are so many
people who found what they loved at fifty or sixty.
There are so many people who found it at twenty.
Some people found the person they loved at twenty but
didn't find their purpose still sick. Someone found their ideal
career at thirty but didn't have children un till forty five,
and there wasn't a right or wrong way of doing it.
(07:08):
It was simply your time. And I think when we
live in a world that we constantly think I'm behind, then,
by the way, when you're ahead, you're thinking how long
will it last? And so you're constantly strapped for time,
whichever way you look at it. And so I like
to remind people that their life is going at the
pace and time that it's meant to. What's more important
figuring out and identifying your purpose or the journey to
(07:29):
figure out and identify your purpose. It's always about the pursuit,
isn't it. It's always about There's a great Nike published
this book and I don't know why they did it,
but it's this orange book that I have and I
look at it every morning, and on the front cover
they have this slogan which isn't just do it. The
slogan is there is no finish line. And I love
(07:51):
that because it just takes away this pressure that we're
all trying to reach the top of the mountain, the peak,
this moment where everything becomes easy and everything becomes okay,
and he goes, no, there is no finish line. Stop
looking for that the reason you think there is a
finish line, or thinking there's a finish line, it's what
causes stress because you feel far away from it. It's
what causes pressure. It's what causes tension. Is the belief
(08:12):
that there is an end, a place that you reach
where none of this exists. Whereas as soon as you
accept that there is no finish line, you go, oh,
this is it. I'm living in it right now, this
moment is it. And if I can just live in it,
then that's beautiful. That's what's needed. So if you're just
turning us on, Jay Shetty is here, Gandhi. You had
a question.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
So your life has evolved so much from the time
that you are working with monks, studying under monks, I
should say to now you're flying across the world private planes,
like it is completely opposite of what it.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Used to be. The planes. I'm still waiting for those.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Okay, I'm in that part of in my head. But
you're traveling and you're huge. There's a huge focus on you. Now,
how do you reconcile those two things? And do you
have to work harder now to find that same peace
and stillness that you had before?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
For sure. I mean, it's it's been twelve years since
I left the monastery, and twelve years starts to feel
like longer and longer and longer, especially because my life
feels so different today and embracing the change of I
am married, I do have a podcast, I do have
a different life today, and a part of me has
to move forward into that. And I think this is
(09:15):
anyone who's grieving a former life, right. I was just
talking to my friend yesterday who's had a baby that
he loves and adores, but at the same time, he's like,
there's parts I miss about you know, what it looked
like to just be married. It will be single, Like
you grieve a former life that you had, but you
have to be okay with life is changing and moving.
As soon as I get back this week to La,
my monk teacher who's going to be seventy five this year,
(09:37):
is going to come and live with us for a
couple of weeks, and I can't wait to wake up
every day in the morning early to meditate with him
and to spend the evenings talking with him. So I
try to find these ways of grounding. By the way,
I'm reminded every day that I am less monk and
less calm, And you know, but that's the beauty of it.
I think I've learned to relish the battle in that
when I'm on the battlefield, I'm reminded of my weaknesses
(09:58):
and my flaws, which make me want to meditate more
and find more calm. Whereas maybe if I was in
a beautiful God, and I may think I'm enlightened, but
that might actually be more dangerous. So there's a beauty
in being reminded every day that I have an ego,
that I have anxiety, that I have stressed, that I
compare myself to others, that I'm human, and that encourages
me to take my practices more seriously. You know, we
(10:21):
live in this world full of hate and awful news
and discourse and war, and which is nothing new. It's
been around since long before we were here. It'll be
here long after we leave today. How are we coping
with these things? What's the best? Sure far, push the
button and you're going to be better way to maneuver
(10:45):
through these obstacles that we see through life. But we
also give ourselves because we become anxious over these these days.
I think the challenge today is that you don't find
your news. News finds you, right, You just scroll on
TikTok and you'll see something you don't even know the publication,
You don't even know the journalist, You don't even know
(11:05):
it's been vetted. You don't even know if it's true.
You don't even know if it's ai. You're real, and
all of a sudden, you're assuming that it is true,
that it's factual, that it's real, and even if it's not,
you're consuming it as it is. So to me, the
number one thing is don't wake up to your phone.
It's as simple as that. Don't wake up to your phone.
Don't make the first thing you see in the morning news, negativity,
(11:25):
notifications and noise. You would never let one hundred people
into your bedroom in the morning before you've showered, put
your makeup on, brushed to your So you don't know me. Oh,
but I can't help you. Then, what do we start
our day with? As soon as it's time to wake
up and get the train roll? And what does that
(11:48):
first hour look like? It isn't even it doesn't even
need to be an hour. I would say it literally
needs to be ten to fifteen minutes of just waking up,
walking like a normal person like we used to do
a few just a few years by, and brushing your
teeth and looking in the mirror and then taking a
shower like a normal person. That yeah, literally we all
do it. Hold and me too, me too, are holding
the phone like this, and it's like, well, well, let's
(12:10):
just not do that. Let's actually brush our teeth and
guess what, you probably have cleaner teeth and you'll have
better teeth and all the rest of it. You shower better, right,
whatever it is like, just being present in that activity
for fifteen minutes, not even an hour, and just allowing
yourself and your brain to catch up just as you
would you. I mean, you may let one hundred people
into your bedroom first thing in the morning, but yeah,
but but everyone else like you would never do that.
(12:32):
You would never let a hundred people come in and
say and your boss is emailing you. You never let your
boss walk into your bedroom and say, by the way,
I need that report first thing in the morning. You
would never let your mum come in and say why
you're not married yet? You never let you know whatever
it is like. You would never let someone just come
into your bedroom and say, hey, these are the three
things you never do that you have a certain boundary.
So if we have a physical boundary in our bedroom,
(12:53):
why not have a mental boundary in the bedroom of
your mind to say, I don't let notifications, negativity, news,
and noise come into my mind. First thing in the morning,
ten to fifteen minutes tops. Okay, what about this, the
day gets started, you get you get on the train,
you get on the past, would get cracked? Don before
five pm? Hits? What about those check ins during the day.
(13:14):
You can't just devote your entire life to something else
and someone else all day. You do need to stop
down and what during the course of the day. One
of the things I love, which I put forward when
I when I was teaching meditation and mindfulness the company
I used to work at. One of the things that
we in stated that really helped was at the start
of every meeting, just have everyone take three breaths. Just
(13:36):
start every meeting that way. I encourage you all to
do as well before every meeting. Right now, just three breaths. Okay,
he really does. I was gonna say you took one breath, and.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I was gonna say when he walked in. I think
it was the right.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Take three. Reason why I'm saying the reason why I'm
saying is most of us are running from our last
meeting to our next meeting. With carrying the baggage from
our last meeting to our next meeting. Most of us
are not even present in today's meeting because we're still
thinking about the last one or thinking about the next one.
That moment that everyone gets to align, if you think
about it, everyone's coming in at different places and different paces.
Someone's coming in and their kids late to school. Someone
(14:14):
else is coming in and they're thinking about the last meeting.
Someone else is coming in, they're thinking about the weekend.
When you will take three breaths in sync together, you're
now aligned. When you're aligned, you now actually have the
chance of actually helping, supporting, being collaborative, and everyone else
not carrying that. So it's not the oh my gosh,
the three breaths. It's like, how do we get on
the same page as quick as possible and give everyone
(14:35):
space to decompress and disconnect from everything else. Before this,
we sure have been using that word calibrate and recalibrate
a lot lately. Yeah, calibration is an interesting thing. I
always thought, well, this calibration, recalibration concept, you can use
that with anything in life, with friends, with the people
you're dealing with at work, whatever. But you have to
find the way to recalibrate, and as simply as something
(14:57):
as simple as a breathing exercise, truly, or some silence. See,
we can't be silent on this show because alarms go
off and a computer in the back starts playing a song.
It's like silly, dead airs deadly on this show. But
to be able to stop down and have that right there,
that moment of silence, so you were all kind of
(15:19):
recalibrating as you do it. Absolutely, I'm ready for a nap.
That happens when you slow down. Your buddy actually tells
you what it needs.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yes, So for you, let's say, in minutes or hours,
however long it is, how much time do you actually
spend consuming media on your phone? Because that's your platform.
You're putting things out and I'm assuming you're getting feedback
from people constantly. But that's also something that would bring
a lot of stress. So how much time do you
spend and how do you balance the show?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I try and spend time on my phone in my gaps.
So right now, if I'm taking a new bid to
another meeting or whatever, maybe that's when I'll check and
I'll reply to comments, so I'll be connected because I
enjoy doing that. But I try not to be a
consumer as much as I am creating or connecting. And
I think for a lot of people, if you're consuming,
make sure what you're consuming is actually helping you and
making you feel better. And second of all, create times
(16:05):
of the day that are no technology times and no
technology zones. So in your home, literally imagine a laser
around the dining table. Literally imagine a laser around the bedroom,
Like those are zones where you don't take your phone.
Like imagine you took your phone and your arm just
got cut off because of this laser, Like, you know,
just imagine that for a second and allow yourself to say, well,
this is a space that we're going to keep as
(16:27):
a no technology zone. Like literally put that sign up
that has the red cross against a picture of phone.
Whatever it takes to realize maybe there are certain spaces
in your home that are sacred. Maybe there are certain
spaces that are meant for connection and love and talking
to your kids or whatever it may be. It doesn't
have to be a whole day. And so I think,
rather than trying to be like I'm not going to
look at my phone all day, which we're all going
(16:49):
to fail at, let's say there's just a couple of
times six to eight pm every day, I don't look
at my phone, at the dining table, at the kitchen table,
at the bedroom, I don't look at my phone. That's
simple act will save you from those hours of doom scrolling. Well,
you know you say that. I mean you could say
that your bedroom is your technology for you zone. But
there it is, that new digital vibrator. I don't know
(17:15):
I said phones. I didn't say no to there's nothing
works that You heard the phone ring and you answer
the vibrantor they're always so if someone's talking to me. Look,
we have to remind everyone that Jay's on purpose podcast
on tour is happening. We need to get people in
those seats. Yes, I'm sure a lot of them are gone,
(17:35):
but we have a few left. Where do I go
to find out where I can see you? So go
to jyshetty dot me Forward slash Tour in New York.
We're gonna. That's a lot of words. Jay Shetty dot
me forward slash tour. It's simple, it's really simple. But
we're going to be at the theater at MSG and
New York, so please come along. If you're in LA
we'll be at the Greek Theater. Uh. And then of
(17:56):
course we're at fifteen cities across North American and Canada.
So hold on, what if I just do ja me
and then I'll find the tour on there you will?
You will. But if you typing forward slash tour, you'll
get there one. So that's way too much for Look,
I have no brain cells. I'm speaking speaking for the
brain cells population. Before you go, I want to ask
who was your favorite guest? Can you pay? Ooh, that's
(18:17):
that's a do you know what? Oh my gosh, who's
my favorite guest? I'll give my most recent favorite guest
because it was such an amazing show. It was having
Benny and Selena and at the same time, it was
such a special episode because they just showed up in
their rarest, most vulnerable, most honest and what was really
beautiful is the episode was all over TikTok and Instagram,
but the conversation was all around positive masculinity and the
(18:40):
comments were hilarious. There's one comment that says, I'm just
leaving this on loud so that my husband can hear
what Bennie has to say. And it was just beautiful
to see people talking about the need for emotionally intelligent
love when usually when we're talking about love or you know,
whatever it may be, today, there's always some sort of
gossip or stress or whatever it may be. This was
a beautifully evolved conversation going viral, So it was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Wow, do you have a least favorite guest?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
I'll tell you this was always goes to the menacing side.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I asked the questions that people want to know.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Jay, we love that you're here today. Thank you so much,
and yeah, you know it's easy and needed to hear
these podcasts when you have your time alone with Jay uh,
but also to be in the same room, to be
in that space where you are rarely rarely with j Shetty.
What a gift. How many? How many cities and steam
fifteen cities and fifteen surprise guests too, So some of
(19:35):
your favorites from the show, some exciting new ones. You'll
get to see someone you love to. Jay does have
a private plane. It has United Britten on the side
of it on purpose. The live tour with j Shetty.
Go to Jshetty dot me and then search for the tour.
No go. They get confused. It's a lot of letters.
(19:55):
They won't sell me jetty dot com whoever has it? Yeah,
who I'll go. Some guy called taking care of sal
You guys are the last. That's weird. Elvis Duran in
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