Episode 566: You did Iowa right!

Apparently, there is a right and a wrong way to do Iowa.

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
This is a big nineties of annine production. Welcome to Scott and Sadie's
twenty minute Morning Show. All right, let's go Welcome to Scott and Sadie's
twenty minute Morning Show. Here's acontent we'll produce today, not tomorrow though,
because you know we're not here tomorrowtoday for the iHeart Radio app or
wherever you downloaded podcasts and you saidyou're just gonna drop it on. Well,
there's something I want to bring up. But I wanted to say.

(00:28):
I was just gonna say, andwe've done every day this week, but
we were going, no, wehaven't. Oh we're going Monday to Tuesday.
Let's try and get it next week. That's why. That's why I
stopped dating the episodes and started puttingepisode numbers behind. I used to date
the episodes. Now smart, Nowthere's the episode numbers, so it just
picks up. Okay, Um,I was just reading about Kevin Costner.

(00:52):
You know, he's getting divorced.It's going through the big d and uh,
how much do you think have youread this? Okay, thanks for
pointing that out, Scott. Ido Kevin Costner's soon to be ex wife
is asking per month he's offering togive her. I believe it was sixty

(01:14):
two thousand a month, a month, thirty days. She wants two hundred
and fifty thousand a month. Sothey're battling it out, and I just,
Scott, pretend you care for oneminute gossip with me about that?
What are you going to do withso that? Anyway, I was reading
that Kevin Costner's lawyers went through everythingof what she needs and a hundred thousand

(01:40):
of it is all beauty and spastuff. Oh my gosh, what a
mess, Kevin. You know,there's a string of actors who were with
their first wives for decades and thenthey leave and they get together with someone
else. It always ends in misery. Look at Johnny Depp, look at
this I now, look at whoelse could there be? You're asking me,

(02:04):
you know what? I don't know, what do you want to talk
about? Because I am like superinto this because she's trying to get all
this money and they had a prenup. So funny wouldn't people try to
never mind? Just go you talkabout? You know what I'm thinking about?
Is it time to put? Youknow? I do the Scott's Fourth

(02:25):
Step program on my lawn, andI don't know what step I'm on.
I may be too late for steptwo and have to go directly to step
three for your lawn. Yes,you know what isn't it? It won't
stop raining. Well, it's finallysupposed to be a good weekend. No,
not really. We're going somewhere forMurphy's birthday where it's an outdoor pool.

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I don't but then again, youknow, I remember being a kid,
and I would swim at a frozenlake because that's what you did to
have fun. Would you get offof yours? I'm looking at the forecast
for the weekend. Well read,I think it's mid seventies. Hey,
here's what we got today today,here's the daily. Oh, it's got

(03:06):
to feed me an ad before Igo to the daily. Today sunshine seventy
three, fifty five percent chance ofafternoon showers. Tomorrow sunshine seventy two,
fifty five percent chance of afternoon showers. Sunday sunshine eighty one, twenty five,
and by Tuesday next week ninety six, then into the nineties. Finally
we're gonna have a few ninety degreedays. Boo and so yeah, this

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weekend, though somewhat tepid. Yeah, it perfect. That's the weekend we've
been Well, you know what,next weekend, my sister's getting married.
Why next week? Well, Idon't know. She wants to, I
guess. And so she's getting married. So we're going to do that.
Yes, And you know, it'sfunny because it's her second wedding and she's

(03:53):
not making a huge deal about it. Like I almost feel like I'm not
getting any of the information I need. When did she make a few deal
out of our first wedding? Idid? I don't remember. Wasn't her
own? Yeah? You were?Did you not come to the wedding?
You were around back then? Notinvited? I mean I was in the
I was part of the Kaylor's life. I had been forever and ever and

(04:14):
ever and ever and ever. Ohmy god. But I think that was
the gap in between your mother andthen when I started working with your mother
the second time. Yeah, okay, So was it a big wedding though?
Do you um? It was apretty good wedding? Yeah? Is
this one? I think this onethough, is more than the first one?
Oh? Really? Yeah? Which, you know that's an interesting thing
because usually it's swipp swapped. Whenwhen I got married the second time,

(04:41):
Oh my gosh, uh the secondI just I didn't. I wanted everyone
to have fun. I wanted becauseScott and Scott married us we were in
Mexico. I wanted everyone to justenjoy the week, do what you want
to do. And I we wouldsend out a mass text that say tomorrow
we're going to go to this place. If anyone would like to join,

(05:02):
the shuttle leaves it blah blah blah. But I I wanted it to just
be I told Scott, I remember, I just wanted to be quick,
just do quick. Fifteen minutes,ten minute, let's just do it,
which is good as you a diarrhea. You always remember that I had diarrhea
when I officiated your wedding. Weddingday. I remember many things, but

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that's the one that makes me laughhard. Scott had like a sweat,
a glistening sweat, and he Ryan'slike, I'd like to read something.
Scott's like, nope, nope,let's keep it short. They're sparking,
read it do it later. Ido laugh because I do remember making it

(05:46):
clear, don't eat anything when youleave, and get what did you do?
You went to a little town andyou ate guacamole, right, guacamole,
but everybody else had the guacamole.It was just me and names Nick.
Do you remember it them you getthe bad batch? Yeah, I
remember that you ate some crap guacamoleand you had well you had the craps

(06:09):
essentially on my wedding day, andI didn't. I mean I I just
was thinking, there's a picture ofus. I don't even know. I
saw it the other day. I'mlike, why did we do this?
And I'm like, on your back? Like I jumped up on your back?
Why we're smiling? Ay? Whydid we do that? I don't
know? And b you had diarrheaand I didn't know it and I'm jumping

(06:31):
all over you. You were into say, my white dress, and
could you imagine if you just explodeit on my wedding gown? Would imagine
that? I wouldn't. I wouldlaugh, Oh, I get it off
quickly. I'd be gagging, Butthen I'd be like, oh, yes,
I would. I think it wouldbe hilarious to look back on and
be like that was the funniest damnthing. But again, wedding number one

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would have been mortifying. You hadnice China, and you had nice.
Now wedding number two I loved somuch more. I've got a diarrhea.
So you haven't gotten to the detailsof your sister. I mean, oh,
so, anyway, where are yougoing? I mean, is it
a destination thing? Now? It'snot destination, it's she's actually getting married

(07:19):
in a place in Johnstown, likethe Butterfly Pavilion. I think so.
But dragonflies and dreams. Yeah,it's something whimsical. No, I had
to think of it. It's justclouds and rainbow. No, it's dragonflies
and dreams. And it's really it'skind of western, and it's on a

(07:41):
farm and it's very nice though.I've been to a couple of events there.
It's very nice. Okay, wellthat's where we're going. I got
my This is a gown. Iam wearing a gown. I don't think
I've ever other than getting married,worn like a long gown before. It's
it's native satin, satin gown.Yeah. And so was it expansive?

(08:05):
I mean she paid for it?You're kidney No, I mean every wedding
I've ever been in they paid forthe dress. You get to keep it?
Or did I leave the tag ison it, don't sweat. Yeah,
on one Sunday you just roam intoDavid's Bridle with eight bridle bridesmaid's gowns.
What's your return policy? This onehas deodorant on it, so anyway,

(08:31):
Yeah, it's exciting. She's gettingmarried next weekend. Good for her.
I mean, it's just super weird. It's just weird. It's weird
that she would find somebody. It'ssuper weird. I'm sure it was weird
for her when it happened to me, but it's just very odd, I
think because you're there for number one, for number two and do you want
to hear the craziest story. God, I shouldn't tell this story. I'm

(08:52):
gonna do it the best. I'mgonna do it. So my niece Hattie,
Yeah, she's gonna get married nextsummer. I thought she did.
Were the pictures she'll do? Knowthat this day and age, you have
sixty four fittings, you go todifferent boutiques to narrow it down. I
mean literally, I went to David'sBridal and I found a dress and I'm

(09:15):
like that'll work, and uh,but no, we've got boutiques. Go
to Denver blah blah blah, shea marrying some money. I'm curious.
Yeah, wain Oh no, that'sa nervous tick. I never said anything.
I just I just got that feelingby you know, I'm looking at
the guy. Yeah, And Ihaven't like specifically asked, but I do

(09:41):
under I think he's got a littlemoney. I think she's gonna be okay.
Well anyway, but she she loveshim, so that's great. But
listen to this. My my nieceHattie, when my ex husband and I
got married was bye. Was shethe flower girl? And she was a

(10:01):
flower girl, the flower girl.She was the flower girl. And when
my ex husband got married a secondtime, Hattie worked at the boutique and
she was assigned nice and she's like, oh my god, oh my god.
And the fiance didn't know realize AndI said, you should have looked

(10:22):
her in the eye and said Iwas at the first wedding. But she
didn't give her the Apparently it waslike once they found like the realization hit,
they packed up pretty quick. Soshe didn't close it eil, she
didn't sell the stuff. Well,I don't know if there it was like
a commission base thing. I thinkthat just women come in and then it's

(10:45):
their job to get pull out differentoptions and make sure they have what they
need in the fitting room and stuff, which is so weird, right,
isn't that weird kismet? That's oneof those big things now, for example,
and my wife and her mother went, But that was nineteen ninety seven
when we got married. Now everybodygoes, oh, day, Okay,

(11:07):
it's an entire day, and she'snot getting married for over a year.
I think, good for her beingconfident she can still fit that dress in
a year. Well, my sister, you know, the wedding next week.
Last night I had to try thedress on because I've had I've had
a few weeks where I've just beenlike, good, forget it, let
her go. I'm gonna eat somecake, and and then I'm like,

(11:28):
oh damn, what if what ifI get to the day of and I
can't fit? So then last nightI'm thinking, hmmm, how could I
fix this if I'm too big forthis dress? And my thought was I
just leave it unzipped and just buya tank top that kind of matches the
or I could go on a diet. No, don't, don't, don't.

(11:50):
I please, Why do you goto say extreme measure. You're saying,
but I did try it on itit did fit, so you know,
because you know how it fluctuates.Geez, I'll go I fluctuate.
You would have given week shut up. But I'll be like, oh my
god, I put on eight poundswhile we were in Iowa. That's the

(12:11):
butter. I mean. If youif you lose weight in Iowa, you're
doing it wrong. You did Iowawrong. You did Iowa way wrong.
You follow me to Iowa. I'lltake you where you need to go.
Right, is a barbecue place,you know, and it's it's amazing.

(12:35):
It's amazing bar and and yes,butter originates there. Sodas corn, that's
what you hear. I know,we grow corn around here and we make
butter around here. There's something aboutthat Iowa corn. It's just wholesome.
No, so I thought, ohgod, because you know I was in
Iowa like a week ago, Ithought, oh jeez, you know,

(12:58):
but dad, that hasn't stopped me. I am still in this pattern of
I've never been a night eater ever. Usually I quit eating around like six,
yeah, six at the latest.And uh now it's like I will
literally be in that stage of sleepin bad friend like here cobs, and

(13:18):
then I'll think of something like oh, I want some M and m's,
and I will literally be pulled outof that sleep to eat M and m's.
Isn't that a problem? Do youever get this way? Here's the
here's the problem that I have.Okay, is it labor than my problem?
Will eat ice cream cones and icecream cones. Okay, thank god

(13:39):
we're out of ice cream cones.I no longer have to eat these ice
cream cones. I've polished it off. I can start behaving and then my
wife will get home and she'll say, oh, i've rotch yous an ice
cream. I did this too,damn. Now I must eat it.
You know, like the healthy kindbars where it's like nuts and berries.
It's like two ingredients and stuff theymake. They make ice cream bars kind.

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Now, listen, these are amazing. So what I did was I
thought, it's healthier ice right,you see what roade I'm on, it's
healthier ice cream. What a treat? And then I ate two boxes because
they were so healthy and delicious thatI thought, and then tell at the

(14:26):
teller a plus. Uh Now Listen, everyone knows who does this. You
just hit a point where you're like, I have eaten so many goldfish just
I'm gonna eat the bag, andI'm throwing the bag and I'm done.
I'm never eating a goldfish again.Well, you know what happens is you're
at the store and you're some pizzaflavored goldfish and you think, what the

(14:52):
hell, and then you're back inthe cycle again. I mean, I
truly do. I mean, foodis truly an addiction. Yes, it
really true. Lights it's the samepleasure centers is in your brain as does
cocaine. I've never tried cocaine,but I have tried a hot and spicy
from McDonald's, and I'll take thatover cocaine. I have a guy who's

(15:15):
really on the straight narrow now.In fact, he's in the counseling field.
Yeah, a friend, but hewent through he loved all the addictions
and and and we were talking.He was talking about, you know,
hey, you need to be awareof this because in some circles, cocaine's
coming back. It's like the eightiesall over again. Apparently. No,
And I said, oh that's toobad. He says, no, he
says cocaine's a wonderful drug, andthen he just got all is exciting.

(15:41):
He said, you need to help. I mean, oh no, I'm
okay. I mean, I'm I'ma recovery. I'm a recovered addicts over
twenty years. Probably you should try. But I mean, I just feel
like everyone should try cocaine. It'sjust the way he said it shocked me.
I wouldn't. I don't think Iwould ever. Well, I know,
I don't think I would ever dothat. I only say I don't
think because Scott knows. When wouldI do cocaine? I know, when

(16:06):
would you do it? Right beforeyou got on a plane and you had
to what I say, I alwayssay, if a meteor is flying towards
us, there's no way out.I think I'm gonna try heroine. I
do. I think I'm gonna doit. I don't care. I would
never, ever, ever, everdo that. But if I can see

(16:26):
the meteor, the ball of flames, I don't even know where I'd get
drugs like that, right, somebodywould sell me flower. I'd be huffing
it on the next door app.I mean, hey, guys, as
you know, we're all going todie. Anyone have a heroine hook up
if I know it's illegal, butdo you see the burning ball in the

(16:47):
sky. And now that we're goingout a path at heck, we're just
gonna get fired anyway. This guywas like, oh no, it's a
wonderful drug, he says, Scott. He says, you'd love it the
mental acuity and focus. And thenall of a sudden, I was intrigued
you if, I mean, youknow you're selling me on it, sir.
And then he got he went downthis path of you know, it's
it's like Matt, It's like adderallon steroids. And I was like,

(17:11):
would people abuse people abuse adderall too? Oh? Yeah, they just take
that. They don't need it.They just they take it for the mental
acuity and focus. But what,oh my gosh, and they think I've
just been trying to sleep, youknow. I mean, yeah, well,
you know you get some of thosethough, and you get the side
effects. Like my sister for awhile she took what's that sleeping um?

(17:40):
I mean like and she would haveweird things happen, because you know,
people are they have video people openingthe refrigerator and making a Thanksgiving meal while
they're sleeping on it, you know, yeah, I mean, I hear
it's I've never taken it before.Sleeping is not a problem for me.
Knock on good because I don't knowwhat I'd do if I lost sleep.

(18:02):
It's like the only thing that feelsreally good. That doesn't you know,
that isn't bad for you. Haveyou ever had to take a steroid?
Yes? Did it make you ravenous? Uh? Yeah? You get like
get you eat and eat eat.I got pumpkin face all our port.
Little dog she goes to doggie daycareand that one by you, as a

(18:25):
matter of fact, right up closearea. It's where she goes to doggie
daycaret And she got to the kennelcoff here a couple of weeks ago and
she cough, cough, coughs.She won't get rid of it. So
the doctor said, well here andwe're gonna put her on this steroid.
The vet did, and all shewants to is eat. Now. I
mean, have you asked me ifI've ever taken it and then talked about
your dog? I was. Irecalled that I had to take a steroid

(18:48):
one time to clear up a coldthat I had, and I was ravenous.
It's all I had to do iseat, eating, eat, And
this dog, now she will siton your lap if you I mean,
she will get right up here.I don't care you get rid of me.
I'm going to eat that food outof your hand. But we've been
really worried about her because she'll startwheezing, she'll make she'll make there's noise,
and I think, are you goingto die? And then my wife,

(19:10):
are you dying? My wife wentinto Instagram and got a diagnosis.
It's reverse sneezing. What something up? Early happy early dogs get rey,
it's sneeze now you sneeze in theyget reverse sneezing. And there's even vets,
all sorts of Instagram vets and andthese videos that they say, here's
and they'll show the dog and doit exactly what Vella does. And they'll

(19:33):
say, you cover one nozzle andyou cover one nostril, and you're sorry,
follow the dog ground and hold hisnot. You're supposed to. You're
supposed to cover one nostril and massagein the other room. Take off on
the run. Yeah, you're supposedto. Wow, I am not built
to own any living thing like whathey we're at the end. We are

(19:55):
we just rambled, Oh we didsomehow we got from reverse sneezing to I
had a role to cocaine is awonderful drug, to which we can't say
you did IOWA wrong, can't believeyou didn't do that. Went in your
RADI like the eighties and nineties Topforty radio. In the eighties, man,
I would imagine see I just pictureeverybody and they go to these parties

(20:18):
and there's mountains of cod. Iwent to those parties, did and never
did it. I've literally been cucanesituation and I got scared in left because
I was like, oh yeah,I'm a chicken. Hey. Thanks for
listening Scott and Sadie's twenty minute MorningShow. Thanks for listening to Scott and
Sadie's twenty minute morning Show. Leaveyour comments and interact with Scott and Sadie

(20:40):
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