April 24, 2025 • 53 mins
Finally! Tinx is in the O.R.! We have so much to get into, from dating to making friends in your 30s, and we revisit Tanya’s airplane headphones debate!
Tinx shares her progress on being less “ick sensitive”, but we have to ask what are some the most unforgivable icks a guy can do.
Plus, we learn how the power of manifestation helped create DJ Tinx, and possibly a froyo shop!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Beck of Tilly and Tanya rad and
iHeartRadio and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in grub.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Dub Dub and the Tings a tub tub.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Did you read the comments about the jingle your jingle?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
No, don't tell me. It's not bad. People hate it.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
There's mixed reviews.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
They posted a poll about it and.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It was like fifty to fifty people loved it or
hated it.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Yeah, they told me to break the news to you gently.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
But then some people are like, oh my god, I
sing along every time, so it's really you know, And
I told you, I said.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
The tots are going to be like I love it
and some might not. And then a lot of people
are like, I'm mostly indifferent about it.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
The till heads are over here, slammer.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
I do not consent on tillheads, but here we are
but the doctor for themselves as the tongue of talk.
They love it.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Well, the till heads are gonna take this uprunt of it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Now. Love our guests today, anyways, they're y'all are all
gonna love our guest today.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
You know her as Tinks.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
She is a New York Times best selling author and
podcast and radio host.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
She has a new debut fiction novel. It's called Hotter
in the Hampton's. It's coming out May six, so everybody
pre order it now.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
She really has just developed, Like I feel like she
is the millennial girls BFF.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Yeah kind of.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
We're a big sister or big sister, however you want
to think it.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
She's here today, so everyone, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
To Thanks for having you guys.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
We're so excited because we've been trying to do this
for a long time now.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I know, I'm so excited to finally be here and
have a good yap.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I was trying to figure out literally just this morning,
what flight I was taking, Where were we going?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Were we on the same flight? No, we were just
saw each other in the JSX, yes.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And so what I thought was, I think it was
when we were going to Tahoe for Amy's birthday, so
last summer. I wasn't with you, I know, I know,
I know, but I think that's the flight that we
were taking.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And I think I saw you that that then I
was I don't know where I was going there. I
loved jet sweet Eyes. Yeah, so do we so good.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
But we were We had this like big debate on
podcast because I love to like I obviously like I
feel like and I feel like you probably get this
all the time. People feel like they know you. It's
like a parasocial relationship. Yeah, And so I was like, oh,
my gosh, I have to say hi to her. Yeah,
but you had your headphones on.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
And they always tell me that's the universal sign of like,
don't talk to it, don't talk to me.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
No, I always have my headphones in, like I literally
can't be with the sound of my own thoughts. And actually,
when my followers asked me yesterday, they were like, how
do you listen to so many podcasts and like listen
to so many books and consume so much media? And
I was like, I literally can't be alone. And so
the second I wake up, I have music or podcasts on,
like I'm talking the second I would up to the
second I go to sleep, So I always have something
(03:14):
in So I don't for me, it's not a universal symbol.
It's just like I'm.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Breathing, so I need again, Like if you're on an airplane, like,
for instance, I'm on an airplane and I'm by myself.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah, and I put my AirPods in. Yeah, that's my
sign of like, I am, you're in your zone, please
don't talk to me. Yeah, so Tanya does not. She'll
tap me.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
If she's with me and I put my headphones in,
she'll tap me until I.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Okay, So now I see what you're saying. And I
think if you're with someone and you put your headphones in,
you're like, I need a man. If you're like traveling
with your friend and you're like a girl, like, I
get a second, that's really funny. But yeah, no, I
love when people come up to me. Like people are
always like I feel like I know you, and I'm like,
I am overly casual back because I also feel like
I know them. I'm like, oh my god, hey do
you have a tampon?
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Like what's up on?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
They're like wait what, I feel like I know all
the girl is back, So it's like good both ways.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I was like it was very funny because I was
like I met Tings and she had her headphones, and
then I felt really bad that I was like bothering
her and it was like a whole debate.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
She told us.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
She was like yeah, and then I went up and
I said hey, and we all were like.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
No, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
I'm like literally always so on my own planet. I
love meeting everybody.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
So but you know what's so funny is we have
a mutual friend Candice.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Yes, our facialist.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I love her. It's her birthday tomorrow. It's her birthday.
To wait, I think it's in May. I always get
it or I always get it two weeks wrong because
I had it initially on my calendar and then it
was her dog's birthday, and now it's like a joke
every year, and like I always wish her birthday her
dog's birthday was like over the weekend. Yeah, so then
it was okay, so that's what I was. Yeah, I know,
he birthdays in We're still in April, right, a Torus queen.
(04:53):
Yeah yeah, But.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So I feel like I like I'm again I sound
like such a creep, but I'm like, I feel like
we're like one step remove.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Oh no, no, yeah we are all the time. Yeah
yeah you are.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
You're just like meant to be so not ago just
barely missing me. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Wonder is is it because when you started, was TikTok
your main thing?
Speaker 4 (05:14):
When you started social media?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yes, I started in twenty twenty. Okay, I had no plan.
I was literally I thought we were all going to die.
And I was like, I don't care what people think.
I'm going to make videos for fun. Like I people
think I'm joking, but I literally thought we were all
going to die. So I was like, well, I might
as well make some videos and like full around until
the end and then that's yeah, that was my main thing.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
When did so when what was your first I guess
did you have a.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Video where it went viral and you were like, oh,
this could be something.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
My first video that went viral is so dumb that like,
if you pull it up, you'll actually laugh. It was
like me doing in like a It was a sound.
It was a TikTok sound, and I was like, this
is what dating in LA is like. It was like
the dumbest thing ever. But it went viral and I
was like, oh, like validation from Sandris feels kind of good.
And then I just kept going and then my friends
were like, I think you could like make money from
(06:07):
this and I was like what and they were like, yeah,
you can like make money from this if you keep going,
and all the like all of my jobs had let
me go because of the pandemic, and I was like
doing consulting and like working for doing this and that
kind of thing, like nothing steady, and so I was like,
oh damn, Like okay, I'll keep going. And then I
got my first brand deal. They were like, we'll pay
(06:27):
you six hundred dollars if you wear those pants in
your video. And I was like, shut off, you're kidding
doing to keep the pants and they're like, yeah, freak
and yeah. I started in May of twenty twenty and
I think by like August of twenty twenty, I had
a manager. So it went really fast. WHOA, it was
a different time. It was, yeah, it was a different time.
Everyone was on their phones. TikTok was in its infancy.
(06:48):
In my opinion, it was the best era. It was
like the era one that was like Charlie and Addison
and the you know, the hype house, and it just
felt so fresh. The content felt so funny. I don't
know if you guys remember, but like I could spend
eight hours on TikTok and I was laughing my ass
off the whole time. Now I go on and I'm like,
I don't know what I'm gonna get like it's I
don't know, like it's scary now, but yeah, it was
(07:11):
the best time.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Is that weird because how y'all were talking about You
were saying it's like a parasocial relationship, and you're saying
you're just as equally casual back. But is it when
you're posting something vulnerable or people are negative, do you
Is it kind of like a two double edged sword
in that way, yeah, because it hurts.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Your feelings and you're like, oh, I was so honest
with you guys, and then like you like, now it
feels now I feel stupid that I was honest with you.
And I have pulled back a lot, Like back in
the day, I would tell everything. I'd be on live crying,
like when I got cheated on. I did the famous
crying video, so embarrassing, like when I look back at it,
but it was like where I was in my life. Yeah,
(07:49):
But now I'm like, I don't know, I'm just not
in that era anymore. And maybe it's because I've been
on the internet for five years and I have been
burned by being vulnerable and I'm like, you know what,
there's parts of my life I just don't want to
s anymore, and so I've kind of found a happy medium.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So is that how you started, like writing now this
book Hotter in the Hampton's No.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I loved writing my first book so much. It was
so fantastic. It was nonfiction. It was something I really
felt like, I wanted to put all my thoughts in
one place for my community about knowing your worth and
how important self esteem is for everybody, but especially young women.
And then when I was thinking about what I wanted
to do next, I wanted to do something that was
like creative and like escapism and fun. And I used
(08:33):
to do these rich Mom videos where I would like
do rich Mom Starter Pack like Malibu Rich Mom Starter
Pack West Hollywood or whatever, and people love them. And
then I was like, what if I did that but
like into a book, like a whole story. And I
was also really inspired by my community. They read a
lot of romance novels. So I started reading a lot
(08:53):
of romance novels and I was like, these are great.
I love them, but I have like a different fantasy
than I want to see in my mind, like in
terms of the main character, in terms of the settings.
So it was a lot of different things that inspired
me to do this.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I'm like so fascinated because I wrote a book a
few years ago and it took me so much time
and effort and energy. So I'm like, I like to
get really like into the nitty gritty of this. When
did you start writing this book? Or like when when
did the idea start?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Like what year I had actually written the proposal for
another nonfiction book, and I was excited about it, like
I had this other idea which I still hope to
do at some point. And then I guess it was
like last year. No, like like a year and a
half ago. I was like, I actually have this different idea,
and I called my agents and I was like, I
(09:44):
want to write a series of romance novels that where
the girl is really cool. In all of them, she's
like flawed and she's like a real person, because we're
all flawed and messy, and like each book is going
to take place in a different rich mom location, like
White Lotus, and they're all going to explore a different
sexual fantasy. And my agent was like, yeah go. She
was like that's really I love it. Both of my agents,
(10:07):
I love them both shout out Margaret and like that.
But yeah, it was just like, oh, year and a
half's like not that crazy. Yeah, No, I don't think
that's that crazy. No.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I was expecting you to say, like this was three
years ago and.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, because like I kind of after my first book,
I took a little mental break and then I was like, whoa,
I need to like do something again, like I need
to do something meteor again, and I kind of like
needed to reorganize my life. And yeah, I have.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
A question because the book without I just have seen
a few videos about it has a queer storyline. Yes,
well yeah, yeah, yeah, and you collaborated with a queer
author to write Why was that important? Because I asked
someone who's in the community, and I have a girlfriend,
(10:58):
she's my first girlfriend, so like, my experience is limited
because I only have been with one woman, but we've been.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Together for seven years.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Totally like writing this, I imagine it was important for you
to have that voice.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
One hundred percent. It's I wanted to have that lived
experience and I'm not queer, so that was just so
key for me to have someone who has lived that
because I wanted to nail that part. And she's also
an incredibly talented writer, so it was amazing to learn
from her as well. So it was it was a
It was a great experience.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
And it's already being turned into a series. Correct, Yes, Yeah,
how does it happen?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
That's huge? I honestly can't believe it. It was like
always such a dream. And when we announced the book,
it you know, we sent it around to a couple people,
and when I heard they were interested, I was like,
no way, Like I I love them. They're so talented,
they're so smart, and obviously their show was like the
biggest hit of last year. So I'm just so thrilled
(11:54):
and be happier.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean, I really can't think of a more exciting
duo to take on, Like if I were writing a book,
I can't think of two people i'd want to create
a series for me right now than them.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
They just get it. They just like gennerally get it.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
So and I feel like you'll kind of have the
same tone, Like your tone and how you yeah speak
and deliver storytelling is very similar.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
In how y'all podcast?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I guess I was listening to your podcast and talking
about it was your Coachella recap, and I feel like
it's very similar to the Foster Sisters.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
That's highest compliment, Thank you.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I love that well.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I think it's just being honest and real, and I
think I keep it real, yeah, and funny, Like I
think that's what it is. Which I loved that episode
because I find myself scrolling on I didn't go to Coachell,
like I'm at the point now where I think about
how bad my feet are going to hurt.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And how.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Tired I'm going to be, and so that just I'm like,
I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
But I was loving how you talked about how you
feel like at your peak right now?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Right, Yes, I really do. That's been a focus of.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
What you've been talking about, Like you've been taking care
of yourself physically, mentally, and I feel like you're in
like the best place in terms of how you feel
about yourself. And you were saying how you were looking
at all these girls at Coachella and they're like in
their twenties and you're thinking, gosh, what would I have
been like.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
If I peaked at that age?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, And I thought it was such an interesting conversation
because there I don't know if you felt this way.
I saw a video where you were talking about how
you're gonna lean into being a millennial, like you're not
going to try to be gen Z anymore, and you
Donia and I have had this battle because I went
through this space where I was like, I feel like
I need to be younger, Like the gen Z is.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Wearing these pants.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I got to get these pants, and they're doing this
and they're doing this trend.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
I'm like, I don't care what gen Z is doing.
I'm not gen Z. I honestly think it's because of COVID.
Like I think us millennials like we got kind of
stuck in COVID, and so we thought that, Like I
read one article that said you get stuck at the
age where you entered COVID, so I would be like
twenty nine thirty. So I still like think that I'm
that age in we really Yeah, that's like called the
(14:02):
like the I don't know, the pandemic skip or something.
So I's interesting. And also just because like I was
on TikTok at that time that I was all of
my colleagues so to speak, we're like twenty or like
eighteen or whatever, and so I literally for a while
was stuck in that mindset, and then recently I've just
been like I'm obsessed with millennials, Like I love us,
Like I think we're so fabulous, we have the best attitudes.
(14:25):
We've created so much goodness in the world, like so
many companies, so many cool changes have been made, and
we really like stand on business. Like if millennials say
we're going to do something, we do like gen Z,
but we don't have to get in. So yeah, it's
now I'm like, live, laugh, loving my wife through life.
I am a millennial and proud and it's just like,
(14:47):
yeah to your point before I was talking about being
like a little bit of a late bloomer, and you know,
in a way, I'm happy about it because it kind
of like makes your personality develop more and you kind
of know know who you are, and then if you
feel like you get hot later, you can just enjoy
it and just do what you want with the people
that you want, because so much of your twenties is
(15:08):
hanging around with people that you don't actually like. Beer like,
but I feel like you should be friends with this person.
I feel like I should be dating this person's.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, do it. I was listening to Mel Robbins was
going through the decades of like which did you listen
to that where she's talking about what happened in your
twenties and thirties. Yeah, about feeling behind in life, which
is kind of on the same topic of late bloomers.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
But did you ever feel because you're are you single?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Okay, So I feel like there's this societal expectation of
like you should be doing this, this and this by
this age, and then this this and this by this age.
And I feel like with social media and this shift
that there's been, it's totally a different landscape. Now. Yeah, yeah,
how do you how do you feel navigating that and
(15:53):
being kind of like because I felt like you got
branded as like millennials bestie girl, like.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
I know, and you know, I've never called myself that,
Like I like, I'm always worried that people think that
I go around being like Millennial's big.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Sister, like.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
But whatever, No, I I think it is a different landscape.
I mean, I talk to so many women on my
radio show and through social media every week, and like
women are settling down later and later, and there is
a course still societal pressure, like of course you still
feel like I'm running out of time. Women have a
biological cloudy. If we want to have kids. Of course
(16:33):
that's in the back of your mind. We can't be
as care free. We do have to think about that.
That being said, what I encourage all my community to
do is like not settle or not make choices out
of fear of that societal pressure, because I think what
we've seen historically is women settling or making choices that
(16:54):
aren't the best for them just because they need feel
they need to like check boxes by a certain time,
and that's not going to equal happy piness. So I'm
happy to see that women are getting settling down later
in life. It doesn't mean that, you know, I'm not
of the camp of like, oh, you know, we can
all live by ourselves, like we all want love. Of
course that's human right.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
But if you.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Take a little while to discover who you are, to
work on your career, to work on yourself, and you
get married in your late thirties, forties, whatever, who cares?
Like truly who cares? And I always talk about like
being over the hump, and I feel like the hardest
time is like twenty nine to like thirty two, because
you're just completely manic all your friends are getting engaged,
all your friends are getting married, and you're just like,
(17:36):
oh my god, I'm just totally manique. Yeah, it's a
man of time, it's amount of time. But if you
get over the hump, I'm not going to be a
young bride like that shit is sailed. And now I
feel like completely free yea. And now I'm like, I'll
know it when I see it, and that's really exciting
and freeing and until then I can just have fun. Yeah.
I always.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I always thought of it as like I in my twenties,
I really gave my whole life to like my career,
like I and what I realize like now in hindsight,
now that I am married, like I just got married,
I'm like, I give so much to my relationship and
I'm like, I don't think I would have been able
to do as much in my career as I did
(18:15):
if I were in that relationship at that point in
my life. I know myself because I give everything a
hundred and so I would have been.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I just know I wouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
And I'm like, I feel like I believe in God,
and I feel like God kept me single for that
period of time to like fully give myself to my
career to like do these things that i'd like never
imagine that I could, and then brought him into my life.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, and that's so beautiful. And I think it's like,
you know, you have to kind of lean into where
like what is in front of you, and that's all
about like how woo you want to get? But like
I really think you have to think, what is the
universe showing me right now? If the universe is showing
you tons of opportunities in your career, okay, it's a
good time to push there. If the universe drops an
(18:57):
amazing person into your life, okay, that's your time to
spend time with this person then. And I don't know
if you guys have read Matthew McConaughey's book Green Lights,
but I always think about that, like I he's like, oh,
it's a green light, or like you kind of have
to look for those things. And I always just think
I think there's timing, like we're all.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's actually good way of putting it. I feel like
I forced.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
You're really trying to turn some red lights green, trying
to like look at the green lights.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
But I didn't necessarily think that they were green, trying
to make them green.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, that's normal. We all do that, like, especially in
our twenties. We're like, no, this horrible person is my soulmate,
and yeah, your family and friends are like no, they're not,
like what are you doing? And it just takes time
and learning. But you know, we all have different seasons,
we all have different eras, and it's like freeing to
know that everybody is on their own path. You just
(19:48):
have to honestly have little faith.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I want to get into the dating, dating world that
you're experiencing, but first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
All right, we're back.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
So what is dating like for you in this this
era of Tony actually met her husband on the dating app.
So I'm I'm a big supporter of the dating app.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
So what is it?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Funny? He's like, totally normal. I know, I know it
can happen. I know it can happen. About how how
long ago did you meet? Twenty nineteen? Yeah that was back?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
You got a bad Really what is trump shoe?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yeah? They're really bad? Now what is it? Because I
hear this all the time. People are addicted to validation.
They match and they will never speak it. They don't
have any intention, and it's an addiction and like I'm
not some angel, like I feel it too. Sometimes I'll
match with the guy and I'm never going to meet
up with him. But I did that a lot too.
You know you're like, oh, well, you know, maybe he
(21:07):
looks all right, you see one thing on his profile,
you match, then you never meet up. Like that's but
that's everybody does that. There's just too much choice. It's
fried our brains. It used to be a good service.
It used to be like uber, like if you would
want a date, you would go on it. You'd get
a date and see if it worked. If it does great,
if not, cool. Now it's more like Instagram or TikTok,
(21:30):
where people just go when they're swiping, and they're swiping
and they do it whether in a waiting room, they're like, oh,
just going hints for a little bit. And that's why
it's completely lost. It's efficacy. I kind of I guess
I'm on the apps. I'm not like in a dating time.
I'm like, I'm like gonna, I'm so happy like in
my life and I'm a very decisive person and when
(21:51):
I know it, I'll see it. I'll see it. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Do you have EDI when you've when you have been
in a dating season? Yeah, do you have an emmat like,
do you have something where within the first few minutes
you're like absolutely not. Yeah, I mean beyond just like
a attraction.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
It's a vibe. It's a vibe. And everyone that I've
ever been with, I've met them and I'm like, They're
gonna be my boyfriend or I'm gonna spend time with
them or whatever. Like I'm a very It's just an
energy thing. And some would say that I'm too judgmental
too quickly, but I think that I know right away
like I do.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
That's what I was I was saying.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
No, everybody says like, oh, there's a slow burners the
guys that like you meet, and I think you forget
how how I was one of those people.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
You loved a slow burn. You were all about a
slow burn until you met Robby, and now all of
a sudden, you act like it has to be switcher tuned.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
But I also before my girlfriend, I was like, as
soon as I.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Would meet up with a guy, I'm like, when can
I go home?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:54):
That's how Maybe it was because it was men.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I don't know, but yeah, fair exactly. I just think
I don't know. I'm I'm not too worried about it, like,
oh yeah, I feel like I am having fun, Like
I'll go on a date here and there. I just like,
I think that the pressure that's on women is so
insane and I have better things to do with my
(23:17):
time than like freak out and go on seventy hinge
dates in a week, Like I just I.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You have to, literally, it's what it feels like. It's
like you're just going on like a hundred You're.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Like yeah, and you just and if you if you're
at a point where you feel you're like bored with
yourself or you're like not putting your best foot forward,
like you should be excited to go on a date.
You should be like, I'm excited, I'm gonna get dressed up.
This person could be interesting. And if you're at a
point where you're like, oh my god, I'm like just
going to do this like it's homework, that's not a
good place to be in it. And I'm a big advocate.
(23:49):
Like in my community, we have this thing called summer outside,
where like we really try to be off our phones
and we really try to like change our energy and
do like say yes to things that at our non phone,
like going to the dinner party with your friend, or
like going out with your coworker who you've never seen
outside of work, or like doing the sports thing, and
that we have so many success stories in my community
(24:10):
of people being like yeah, I was like for get
I'm going to Spain and then I met this guy
or whatever. Like we just need to like people act
like there's no real life anymore, like we just live online. Yeah,
there's still coffee shops, there's still dinner parties, there's still bars,
there's still clubs, there's still all these things, and it's
just about changing your energy. And sometimes I'll even catch myself.
(24:30):
I'll be out with friends and I'll be like hunched
over like on my phone, Like listen, like nobody's going
to come up to you that way. Yeah, if your
phone's in your bag and you're like looking around, you're
like hey, hey, like yeah, people want to talk, people
want to connect, especially if they're at a place like
a bar. You know, they didn't come there to be
on their phone, neither did you. So put your phone
away and look around and smile.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
It's become like the security blanket. But it's the most
hindering thing of like having any human connection. It's weird
because it's like you're seeking connection in the most surface
level way, like you're seeking something.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It's not surface.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
It's easy, but it's also like you're trying, like you're
scrolling social media trying to get validation there as opposed
to seeking human connection, with which I think everyone's craving
right now.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
I did it. I literally did it in every way,
shape or form. I would be on the apps.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
DM whatever, messaging every guy in the app, ID, on Instagram,
like dming whoever, you know, in real life, going to
the bar, like with my eyes open, trying to make
eye contact, like I was like.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
Feral holding eye contact with someone as they.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And I just make eye connectively said hi to me,
and then I would like go in like I was
like on it.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
It's true, though, there is so much pressure, and it's
like and then you get to a certain age and
because of the societal pressure, it's like people are like, I'm.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Like they after you haven't thought about it, Like we
as women, we've thought about this stuff since we're young,
you know.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
So it's like, how many people have asked you if
you've frozen your eggs?
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Seventy five thousand, ye one thing? And I'm like, it's
not like I don't mind talking about it. It's just
like it just bothers me that those are the first
questions that we always ask women, like are you this
and that? And like are you going to freeze your eggs?
And I'm like, well, you haven't asked a man if
you got a sperm checked?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, so sorry, I may I always get, but I
always get the when I say I haven't frozen my eggs,
I get the why not?
Speaker 3 (26:33):
I know.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I'm like, obviously, this is something I thought about.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Very And then if you say your reason like I
didn't know you hadn't, I haven't either, and I don't
plan to. It's not the right choice for me. Yeah,
And I have like a list of reasons. I wrote
a pros and cons list. I'm a virgo, Like I
really did think about it. Yeah, right, I say my
reasons and then like people will still write me and
be like I know you think this, but like you're
gonna regret this, and like that's a wild thing to say.
(26:57):
To someone. Yeah, it's a wild thing to say to
someone when they've clearly put a lot of thought into it. Yeah.
And it's such a personal choice, and I think because
it is such a sensitive thing, there is a lot
of projection when it comes to it. So it's like
everybody needs to research and do what's best for them.
I'm so glad it's an option for women. I really am.
I think yeah totally. I said that. I'm like, I
(27:18):
love that it's an option. It's amazing. It's not my option.
It's not for me.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but always it's always followed up with
like the one hundred slew of things.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Yeah, it's it is what.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Uh Well, I wanted to kind of shift into the
book because I know it comes out May six. Yes,
so the plan is the book comes out May six.
When does the series come out? Have you started working
on that at all? We are in the beginning stages.
I'm so new to this process.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I'm learning. I'm going to be an executive executive producer,
which I'm so excited about. So do you pick the cast?
I think yeah, but they've been amazing so far. So
we're starting to do the meeting and kind of look
at writers and everything, which is really cool.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Okay in your mind?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh yeah, and who's like the ideal like your main
I have.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
A list, but I don't want to jinx it. I
have I have a list in my head. I have
a list on my phone so that if it comes true,
I can show everyone. But like I'm manifesting, so I
can't chink it.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Do you have more than one person for each cast
or you just have.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
I have like the cast in my mind. Oh wow,
I am kind of a good manifestor so we'll see
if it happens.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
But yeah, fingers, does the main character in your mind
look like you?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
No?
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Oh no, I made her like blind with like big
boobs and like really sexy because like I don't know,
that's what I imagine. I wanted to work out because
like when I was writing it, I was like this
will be made into a movie or a show. Like
I was like manifesting while I was doing it, So
I was like, wow, like who do I think of you?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Know?
Speaker 4 (28:48):
What do you do? You seem powerful in your manifestations?
How what is what is the key?
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I think just like you always have to be like
like having fun I like love Gabby Bernstein. I'm like,
if you have are having fun, like the manifesting will
come easy. And it's like I write a lot of
lists and I do a lot of treadmill manifesting, which
is where you just are on the treadmill and you're
like or you can be on a walk and you
(29:14):
like visualize what you want to happen. I just started
doing this. It's like I just started walking like it
sounds just say. I always just.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
To think that I needed to like do like crazy
like berries and like hit workouts and stuff, and I've
just started like doing this like ten thousand steps a day.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
It's the best.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I just started like two weeks before my wedding and
now I'm like obsessed with it. But I was like,
this is a great time. It's built in like hour
where I'm not I don't have anything to do that
I can start like really visualizing things.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
No, it's it's the best. I really love to walk,
like I walk every day. I do my rich mom walks,
and it's like where it's I do a lot of imagining,
like visualization, you just like imagine it and it's I
don't know.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
What does a rich mom walk intol.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Okay, So when I was doing my rich mom starter
packs on social media, can think.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Of an example of a like, let's do a Malibu
rich mom starter.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
A Malviy rich mom starter pack is like a g
wagon that has like an appropriate amount of scuffs on
it because you're a cool girl and you don't care
too much, and like also you've got seven of them,
Aviator Nation sweatpants, a sun Life smoothie which you don't
actually eat because it has low key twenty thousand calories
in it, some sort of a trucker hat that's like
(30:25):
faded that says like Malibu on it, like a lot
of like logan hollow all jewelry that's like casually like
fifty thousand dollars on your neck, even though it like
might get lost in the waves. But yeah, I'm basically
obsessed with like rich mom places and the women who
live in them. But then it kind of evolved into
rich mom energy, which like anybody can have rich mom energy.
(30:46):
You don't have to be rich or mom, you just
it's like rich moms get shit done. They have an
incredible sense of like power and beauty and they're fabulous.
So then I started calling you rich mom walks, which
is just like a walk you take could be five minutes,
could be an hour, and you just like to your point,
walking is literally the key to life. Like any problem
(31:08):
that you have, if you go on a walk, it's
like eighty percent solved when you come back. It really
helps you think. And people don't walk enough. In my opinion,
I'm I have to get ten k steps to day
or I go mentally insane. And you can go get
a coffee, you can talk to someone on the phone,
just use it as your U time, Like we really
don't have enough time to just do simple things. Yeah,
(31:31):
and that's why I'm so passionate about walking.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Yeah, you and Tanya are really it's the best.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
It really is.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
I know I've become like a I'm like, where has
this been my whole life? So I've been like beating
myself at these gyms, and it's just like it's in
the walk.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
It's in the walk. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I was going to get into your physical fitness journey
because I feel like I've seen you talk a lot
about that and how much it's transformed. No, like again,
not only just like your physical body, but it seems
like your mental confidence yes, like thinking even I remember
seeing videos of you, like being upset after dates and
like on the internet, and I feel and obviously there
(32:09):
comes like with time, there comes perspective totally, but in general,
I feel like you have had this glow up that's
so nice.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Thank you. I feel like weightlifting literally changed my life.
And I always was one of those people who thought
it's not for me, it's gonna make me bulky, it's
for really intense people like I never thought it would
be me. And then like a year and a half ago,
I guess like cliche, I started in January of twenty
(32:38):
twenty four. I was like, you know what, let me
just try. Let me commit to six months and really
not give up this time, because I've started a million
times like everybody, it's just so normal to quit and
I am obsessed with it. So I train. I like
lift heavy weights. There's something about the hardness of it.
(33:00):
Like I know all workouts are hard, berries is hard,
pilates is hard, but there's something about like almost primal
about lifting heavy things and like getting stronger that just
makes you feel so proud of yourself. And also I
think as adults, like we don't often get the chance
to become better at something, like by the time you're
in your thirties, you're like, you know what you're good at.
(33:20):
You stick to those things. You don't really learn new
things that often. And so for me, when I started weightlifting,
I was like, this is hard. I feel not good
at it. I feel, you know, like I'm a loser
and whatever. And just building up my strength has been incredible.
So I'm like such a big advocate for weightlifting, and yeah,
weightlifting and walking and it's good. And also, like to
(33:43):
your point, it does when you turn inwards, all the
rest of the stuff gets easier. You're like, ah, I
don't really care. Oh it's a bad day, Like I'll
get over it, like whatever.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, I like what you said about that, because I
also sometimes and I have this mentality that I feel
like has held me back so much, which is if
I'm not immediately good at it.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
I won't try it totally.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And so I always think, like, what are the things
that I've missed out on that maybe I've had interest in,
but I've been scared that I'm not going to be
good at it, So therefore I just go or I
do what you do, and I what you did. And
I start something and then if I'm not immediately good
at it or don't feel strong in it, I'm like, yeah,
I quit totally.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
I'm the same way, like I really hate being bad
at things. I think it's especially at this stage in
my life. I feel like embarrassed if I'm not good
at something or I don't know how to do something.
And I was like, you know what, nobody is thinking
about me as much as I'm thinking about me, And
this is just like so many of my friends have
gotten into it, and it's also really important as women
that like for our bone density and just the strength training.
(34:42):
So I was like, let me just commit to six
months and see it was hard. I really almost quit
like three four months, and then I was like, I'm
so glad I pushed through because now I'm obsessed. It's
just really also so good for my mental health. Yeah,
thing is just different about it. Of course, I love
the pilates class with the girlies. That's so fun. I
love that stuff. I love all the classes are great,
(35:03):
but there's something about like the weightlifting that just makes
me has really helped transform me.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I wanted to talk to you about making friends in
your thirties and even I think twenties, because I think
once you're out of an organized like school system, or
I mean, it's hard even now because everything's remote, so
a lot of people don't even go into a work environment.
So a lot of people are just sitting at home
on their phones or computers working and they don't have
(35:47):
any interaction or ways of like making friends. What is
the advice you give people who are searching for friendship
and connection.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I think you have to actually like put in the work,
because it is one of the most common questions that
I got. People are like, I need to make more friends,
especially single people are like I need to make single friends,
like that you alone, especially as my friends get married,
And I totally feel that it's really scary to feel like, oh,
I have literally no one to go out with on
a Friday night when I'm single or whatever. But you know,
the thing is, especially post pandemic people sometimes like they're
(36:19):
like I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends,
And I'm like, okay, well have you tried, Like have
you You have to go make the effort. You have
to go to the workout class and say hey to
the girl you have to go if. I always say
to do whatever you like to do. So if you
like to run, join the run club. Do it, even
if it means you're getting a slower time or you're
not getting as good a run. Go do the social thing.
If you like to go out, like I like to
(36:39):
go out, so I've made a lot of friends out partying.
I know that sounds silly, but that's what I like
to do. I meet friends out and then we go
out together because that's how I spend my time. Another
great hack is, like single people always think to ask
married people for a setup. They're terrible it setups.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
We know this.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
A really good thing to do is ask the do
you have any other single friends you could set me
up with? That's a really and then they're like that's
a very easy task for them. They're like, yes, I
know all the single people. I can smush them together.
And then that's a great way to make friends as well.
But you have to show up. You have to do
the awkward first coffee date. Yeah, it's not pleasant. We
don't like it. Of course, you miss your old best friend,
(37:18):
but guess what, your best friend lives on the other
side of the country and she's got a baby, so
you need to be planting some seeds. I recently made
a new friend. I made two new friends, and I
love them so much. Like I got introduced to them
via my other friend who's married, and she was like,
you guys should meet. You know, you'll have a great time.
And we have the best time. Now, Like you just
(37:38):
have to do the first awkward meeting and see if
you vibe.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
That's a good point because a lot of our friends
have other friends. You know, a lot of people don't
like to merge their friend groups, but they have friends
from different seasons and it's like the one thing you
have in common is a friend.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah, and if you're friends with them, then hopefully they
have no bad vibes people around them, right, And I
do believe the saying like good people know good people.
So if it's a friend, that's you have to ask, like, hey,
do you know any other single people or whatever, like whatever.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
It may be, it's so true, like you have to
put in the effort and those.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
The first coffee day with a friend might be worse
than the first day.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
It might be harder than dating because it's it is
awkward and you're like I don't know where to go
with this, and maybe it won't work out, but then
the next one you will have that instant connection. I
staying especially with women for me at least, I know,
like also very fast with a girl. It's like if
they're vulnerable right away and they're just like, oh my god,
this and that is going on, I'm like, Oh, we're
gonna vibe like that's so cool.
Speaker 4 (38:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
So do you have any things when you're scrolling or
like IX about social media or things like when you're
looking that that you're you just you know how Sometimes
you'll be scrolling and you'll see something You're like, I
just need to put my phone down, Like you see
something in your go okay, this is my phone.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Time is done.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I think I am genuinely trying to limit myself more
and more because it just isn't I don't know, it's
not feeding me the same way I used to. I
I try to go on and have fun for a
little bit and then close out. I'm trying to think
about what things pick me out. One thing I don't
love is when people will do on TikTok, like a
cryptic video. They'll be like, guys, like I was just
(39:12):
in an event and there was an influencer there and
you guys all really love her, and she looked at
me in a really weird way and it just really
hurt my feelings and she's evil, and then it's like
a witch hunt in the comments.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Oh yeah, I wasn't there one just recently about Alex
Earl like that.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
I think there was. Yeah, I feel like I saw
on TMZ. But also it's just like, here's my thing.
If you want to start internet beef, start it, like,
if you really want to go there, then go and
make a video and be like I'm beefing with this
person for X y Z reasons. Don't make a cryptic
video and put a witch hunt so that everybody's trying
to guess and make it so like I don't know.
(39:49):
That just rubs me the wrong way. That's like what
Duma was kind of. Yeah, well that's more like celeb
gossip or whatever, like spottings and whatever.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I'm always so bad at them, Like I'll read Dumont
and then I'm like, who are they talking about?
Speaker 3 (40:01):
And I have to like go on the comments like yeah,
I know. I like sometimes I'll see the blind items
on TikTok and I love them, and they're always like
in code, they're like the sexy actress and I'm like,
I don't know who it is, and then it's so
obvious I got him.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Have you ever been the subject of one of those videos?
Speaker 3 (40:18):
They always think it's me, That's what maybe why I
hate them, Always like it's cheeks, isn't it? And I'm like,
I literally don't want to influence their events.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
They give me anxiety. And the person's always like, no,
it's not.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
It's always nice when they make sure to let people
know it's not.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, And then that's the most annoying part is and
they go through the comments they're like, no, it's not her,
No it's not.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
But didn't just say like.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Oh my god, like enough it's not. It's just like silly.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
Can we talk about your DJ?
Speaker 3 (40:46):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Because I was at an event for uh, did you
DJ something with Tyler Cameron?
Speaker 4 (40:52):
Like an event?
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Yeah, okay last year I did it for his he
had a show, yeah, and it was his the launch party,
I believe, So he was.
Speaker 4 (41:00):
There and I was like, is that Tinks DJ?
Speaker 2 (41:03):
And they're like yeah, And I was like I didn't
even know that that was something you did.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
I just started speaking of learning new things as an adult.
I wanted to learn. I do it with my best
friend Lucas. We have known each other for like almost
ten years, and he's worked in music and we love
to party together. We have a big group of friends,
and we were like, how can we ensure that our
friends get together like six times a year for sure,
and also how can we get paid to party? And
(41:30):
so now we DJ and he taught me and it's
really fun. We've been doing it for I guess like
a year and a half now, and it was really
hard to learn. I don't know why everyone makes fun
of DJ's being like it's so easy. I'm not easy.
It's really hardy. But it's an incredible fun hobby. And
like I said, I love to learn and be bad
(41:51):
at something, and like it's scary, especially because obviously there's
a cliche of like, oh, the influence are becoming DJ,
Like I totally understand that. I think if you look
at my history, I really have always been a committed
party girl. So this is the natural progression for me.
I didn't start partying in Brat's summer, Okay, I've been
partying since way back, So it's very fun. We're headed
(42:15):
to Stagecoach this weekend. We're dojing a pop up there,
which will be amazing. Yes, it's really fun. We feel
like you're like doing all the things. I like to
be really busy. I really like to always be working
on a project. I like again to bring it full circle.
I really don't like my own thoughts. I'm like, I
always like to be working on something creative because then
(42:36):
it keeps me distressed instincts. I think something. There was
a class in my college called Design your Life, and
there's a professor and he always talked about how you
should follow your curiosity, and that's something that's stuck with
me all these years. He's like, it's really hard when
older people tell younger people like follow your passion, and
(42:56):
you're like, I don't know what my passion is. Like
a lot of the times that feels so that feels
so like intense to try and figure out what your
passion is. And then if you follow your curiosity, That's
something that's always really served me because I'm like, yeah,
I'm curious to go talk to this person, or I'm
curious to go like try writing this book or I'm
curious to try DJing, Like, just follow those things and
(43:18):
that will help like move you along. And not to
be corny, but it really puts you in the mindset
of it's about the experience and the journey. It's not
about the destination. It's not about the day the book
comes out. It's about writing it and the creative process,
and like, if you're proud of your work, then that's
so important. Same with DJing. It's like, I don't know,
(43:38):
it's I'm curious to see how far I can take it.
It's fun. I like connecting with people.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Why not, you know, could you like dj at Coachella
one year?
Speaker 3 (43:46):
That's our dream, I think. So we've DJed, like we
DJed the Nylon Party last year at Coachella, we DJed
Surflage fourth of July, which was huge for us.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
That's in Surflage is like in the Hampton, Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Know what your thing in the Malibou, Yes, yeah, surf Rider, Yeah, that's.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
I love that place too. But yeah, we we've had
so much fun doing it, and it's obviously a great
way for me to connect with my community. If they
like to party, I'm like, yeah, that's cool, fun.
Speaker 4 (44:16):
This is your first stage coach, first stage coach.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
So excited?
Speaker 4 (44:19):
Are you going like full country girl? What's your vibe?
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I'm doing like tanks version of country.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
What is that like?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I'm doing a lot of like turquoise jewelry and like
the big belts and boots and boots, I have my
good boots.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Exciting kind of like what era was that where we
had a lot of turquoise? Was that?
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Like it's very like Prince or Countess Luanne inspired. She's
always got like massive like necklaces on.
Speaker 4 (44:44):
It's like your rich mom stage coach.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
It's like I feel like a lot of rich moms
go to stage coach like they really like it, like
it's like time for them to party. And I've heard
that that crowded stage coach is slightly older or something
saying about that too.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
It's fun because it's very like hash I think.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I mean, there's you still have the It's the same
thing because you have the influencers. You have everyone like
wanting to go and get their pictures and meet everyone would.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
More chill, yeah, chill, that's yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:13):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
I can't wait to experience it. I do like country music.
I don't know I don't know too much about it,
but I do really always if it's on, I'll keep
it on. I like that, and I feel like it's
so mainstream now.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
So it's it's more about the vibes.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Yeah, since you're big on manifesting, what are the next
two years?
Speaker 3 (45:32):
Dude?
Speaker 4 (45:32):
Got manifest thems?
Speaker 3 (45:33):
You can't tell us well?
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Like, I mean, there's something about speaking into the universal.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
No totally well recently, and I don't know if I'm
going to pursue this. So I recently moved to New
York and I've noticed that there's no good frozen yogurt shops,
and I everyone on my team is like clenching their
but holes to see if I actually forced them to
go down this road because I was. I was like
this week, I was like another thing. I think I'd
like to open a frozen yogurt shop in New York
because I the best part about LA is like all
(45:58):
the fro yo and like, yeah, when you're in a
suburban place, they have the best frozen yogurt and it's
like such a treat and everybody loves it. Why would
you not have that in New York City? Like the
girlies need a fabulous place, and I would make it stunning,
like I would make it blonde wood, warm lighting, so
it's not like scary. You could go and sit with
your friends and have amazing froyo. So I don't know,
(46:20):
I kind of like jokingly said that I wanted to
make that, but I don't know. I'm just going to
follow my curiosity. As long as I'm like happy in
the moment and working on some projects, I'm just kind of, yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
I'm taking that with me after today, following your curt curiosity,
because I do think there's when people ask what are
your passion what are you passionate about?
Speaker 4 (46:38):
I get so overwhelmed because I'm like, it.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Feels so vinyl, it feel like it feels so like intense.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
I always say, like this new TV show I'm watching
so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Yeah, but curiosity, it's like And also, if you're ever
feeling stuck, you just go back to that and you're like,
what am I curious about right now? It could be
something so small. It could be a person that you
met that you want to have a coffee with and
learn about their career whatever. Yeah, it could be a
new restaurant, Like never limit yourself, just be like, oh,
what is that? Like, why am I talking about fro you?
Because I'm curious about it. I don't know, I want
to see. Maybe I'll take a meeting. Yeah, I love
(47:09):
that too. I'm feeling inspired.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
I feel like you're one of those people where you
have an idea and you go get through always.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
I always have to like sometimes it takes years and
years and years, but I just keep you just got
to keep going and learn. That's a good patience. Patience
is hard for me sometimes, but you just got to
keep sewing. That a mantra I love is the day
you plant the seed is not the day you bear
the fruit. Yeah, that's true. I think about that all
the time. So I always think about like planting little
seeds and they'll flower in the future. We never know when,
(47:44):
and that's kind of the exciting part of life. So true.
Speaker 4 (47:46):
Just start like a walking club.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
I would love to as well. Yeah we do. Why
do rich Mount walks in my community? We get together.
We've done like I don't know, eight or something all
over the country. It's really fun.
Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yeah, that's a great rate. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
I get so excited, Like there's I have like this
one route, and I ran into like an old friend
of min that haven't seen it in years. She's like
pregnant now, and we did our ten k steps together
and I was like, oh, it flew by, just like
having a friend with me, especially somebody that hadn't seen
in so long. And so now I'm like, anytime like
I can get someone to do my walk with me, I'm.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Like so fun. No, No, walking with a friend is
the best. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
I have a question that's just will round it out
with this because I've been thinking about it the whole podcast.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
Where did Tinks come from?
Speaker 3 (48:29):
So? Tinks is it's a nickname that I gave myself
when I was like eleven or twelve. It's from a movie.
I basically watched this movie. It's called Strike, and it's
about an all girls' school and there was this really
beautiful girl in it, and she was really confident and
her name was Tinka Parker. And so when I got
back to school that fall, I was like, guys, call
(48:51):
me Tinker Parker from now on, because that's like I'm
going to be confident like her or whatever, and it
got I don't know why they went with it, because
if someone told me to call them Tinker Parker. I'd
be like no, and then it got short into tink,
and then I got short into Tanks and it just stuck,
like for no reason, it just stuck for my whole life.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
So when you would would you introduce yourself as Tinks.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
Like in college? I did? Wow. Like in college, I
was like, oh, they call me tanks. It's such a
cute name. It really works for me. And yeah, maybe
I was even manifesting.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, it's like so unique, but just like so cute,
Like I don't know another Tinks.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
No, it's easy, it's short. It's like, and you're the
only Tinks, the only Tanks. No.
Speaker 4 (49:29):
I do you ever want to go back to Christina?
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like I've actually found on
dating more recently. If I'm meeting someone, I'm like, I'm Christina,
like just because I don't want to go into it
and I just want a little bit of separation from
my job. But I don't know. I always say call
me either, like it really doesn't matter to me. I'm both.
I answered to both.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
So when you go on dates, do people do guys
recognize you because you're such a you're a girl's girl.
Speaker 4 (49:56):
So do.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
Guys usually know and then they'll like look you up.
Then they'll be like, oh, I just looked at your
Instagram and like my sister follows you, and I'm right,
I really like I'll know I've met the guy when
he's like, what do you do? Like that's that's hot.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Yeah, that's It takes a lot of woolpower not to
like google someone else.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
I know, And I hate to stop people before I
go on date some them because I'll be aicked out.
I'm very extensitive and I know that and I am
working on it. But like one thing and I'm like,
I can't, I can't do it.
Speaker 4 (50:29):
I need to know top three X, like right off
the bat X.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
I would say, okay, if a guy doesn't like listen
or ask me questions, which is an epidemic right now
in dating, guys just like do not ask questions, and
it's really it's insane. It's now that I've said it,
you'll like look out for it and anyone's single out
there will will have experienced this. I think when a
guy doesn't have any like interests or when he's not interesting,
(50:56):
he's not interested, which means he's not interesting that it's
just like, I can't do that, and what else? I
mean if a guy puts like emojis over other people's
faces and his dating app profile, that's an immediate wait
why because I'm like, I just I can't do that
(51:19):
like that or he doesn't want you to think that
his cute friend is him.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
Don't put that picture that.
Speaker 3 (51:25):
I think I will figure it out.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
I will perseure the thought of him, like putting the
little it's giving insecure.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
No, it's just it's giving, thoughtful, it's giving.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
I don't have so many photos to choose from.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
I think you should reconsider.
Speaker 4 (51:39):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
He doesn't have that many photos.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
He's like, should I have to use these? All these?
This is alid? God, find another one? Yeah, yourself going.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
Anyway, there's the next stick. You only have six photos
of yourself?
Speaker 2 (51:58):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (51:59):
Yeah, it is like do you have physical.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
Ages or of Like, no, I'm honestly really chill about
okay anything. I mean, look, am I a highth queen? Secretly? Yeah,
it's pretty hard to go back from six to four
after you've dated someone six four And I'm just gonna
put that out there. But I would never swipe no
on someone for a physical thing.
Speaker 4 (52:19):
Right, right.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
And also if you put all the guys I've dated
in a room, you would be like there's no common
thread between, Like you'd be every everything, everything, all over.
It's just like an energy thing. Yeah, I just like
Dick energy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
I like that you walk in and you know yeah.
Thank you so much for taking time to this was
so fun.
Speaker 4 (52:43):
Thank you, We love you everyone.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I'm so happy that you were not absolutely thrown off
by Tanya.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Yeah, I'm happy I didn't scare you off. Oh my gosh,
it happens.
Speaker 4 (52:53):
She does that sometimes.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
It's such a fabulous conversation.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
Thank you so much, so excited, and you pick up
a copy six it's up, but you can preorder it now.
Speaker 4 (53:02):
Where can everyone follow you?
Speaker 2 (53:04):
At tanks t I n X on everything so nice,
got it all, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
So fun
Scrubbing In with Beck of Tilly and Tanya rad and
iHeartRadio and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in grub.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Dub Dub and the Tings a tub tub.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Did you read the comments about the jingle your jingle?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
No, don't tell me. It's not bad. People hate it.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
There's mixed reviews.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
They posted a poll about it and.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It was like fifty to fifty people loved it or
hated it.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Yeah, they told me to break the news to you gently.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
But then some people are like, oh my god, I
sing along every time, so it's really you know, And
I told you, I said.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
The tots are going to be like I love it
and some might not. And then a lot of people
are like, I'm mostly indifferent about it.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
The till heads are over here, slammer.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
I do not consent on tillheads, but here we are
but the doctor for themselves as the tongue of talk.
They love it.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Well, the till heads are gonna take this uprunt of it.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Now. Love our guests today, anyways, they're y'all are all
gonna love our guest today.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
You know her as Tinks.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
She is a New York Times best selling author and
podcast and radio host.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
She has a new debut fiction novel. It's called Hotter
in the Hampton's. It's coming out May six, so everybody
pre order it now.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
She really has just developed, Like I feel like she
is the millennial girls BFF.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Yeah kind of.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
We're a big sister or big sister, however you want
to think it.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
She's here today, so everyone, welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
To Thanks for having you guys.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
We're so excited because we've been trying to do this
for a long time now.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I know, I'm so excited to finally be here and
have a good yap.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I was trying to figure out literally just this morning,
what flight I was taking, Where were we going?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Were we on the same flight? No, we were just
saw each other in the JSX, yes.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And so what I thought was, I think it was
when we were going to Tahoe for Amy's birthday, so
last summer. I wasn't with you, I know, I know,
I know, but I think that's the flight that we
were taking.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And I think I saw you that that then I
was I don't know where I was going there. I
loved jet sweet Eyes. Yeah, so do we so good.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
But we were We had this like big debate on
podcast because I love to like I obviously like I
feel like and I feel like you probably get this
all the time. People feel like they know you. It's
like a parasocial relationship. Yeah, And so I was like, oh,
my gosh, I have to say hi to her. Yeah,
but you had your headphones on.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
And they always tell me that's the universal sign of like,
don't talk to it, don't talk to me.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
No, I always have my headphones in, like I literally
can't be with the sound of my own thoughts. And actually,
when my followers asked me yesterday, they were like, how
do you listen to so many podcasts and like listen
to so many books and consume so much media? And
I was like, I literally can't be alone. And so
the second I wake up, I have music or podcasts on,
like I'm talking the second I would up to the
second I go to sleep, So I always have something
(03:14):
in So I don't for me, it's not a universal symbol.
It's just like I'm.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Breathing, so I need again, Like if you're on an airplane, like,
for instance, I'm on an airplane and I'm by myself.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah, and I put my AirPods in. Yeah, that's my
sign of like, I am, you're in your zone, please
don't talk to me. Yeah, so Tanya does not. She'll
tap me.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
If she's with me and I put my headphones in,
she'll tap me until I.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Okay, So now I see what you're saying. And I
think if you're with someone and you put your headphones in,
you're like, I need a man. If you're like traveling
with your friend and you're like a girl, like, I
get a second, that's really funny. But yeah, no, I
love when people come up to me. Like people are
always like I feel like I know you, and I'm like,
I am overly casual back because I also feel like
I know them. I'm like, oh my god, hey do
you have a tampon?
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Like what's up on?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
They're like wait what, I feel like I know all
the girl is back, So it's like good both ways.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I was like it was very funny because I was
like I met Tings and she had her headphones, and
then I felt really bad that I was like bothering
her and it was like a whole debate.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
She told us.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
She was like yeah, and then I went up and
I said hey, and we all were like.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
No, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
I'm like literally always so on my own planet. I
love meeting everybody.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
So but you know what's so funny is we have
a mutual friend Candice.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Yes, our facialist.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I love her. It's her birthday tomorrow. It's her birthday.
To wait, I think it's in May. I always get
it or I always get it two weeks wrong because
I had it initially on my calendar and then it
was her dog's birthday, and now it's like a joke
every year, and like I always wish her birthday her
dog's birthday was like over the weekend. Yeah, so then
it was okay, so that's what I was. Yeah, I know,
he birthdays in We're still in April, right, a Torus queen.
(04:53):
Yeah yeah, But.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So I feel like I like I'm again I sound
like such a creep, but I'm like, I feel like
we're like one step remove.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Oh no, no, yeah we are all the time. Yeah
yeah you are.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
You're just like meant to be so not ago just
barely missing me. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Wonder is is it because when you started, was TikTok
your main thing?
Speaker 4 (05:14):
When you started social media?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yes, I started in twenty twenty. Okay, I had no plan.
I was literally I thought we were all going to die.
And I was like, I don't care what people think.
I'm going to make videos for fun. Like I people
think I'm joking, but I literally thought we were all
going to die. So I was like, well, I might
as well make some videos and like full around until
the end and then that's yeah, that was my main thing.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
When did so when what was your first I guess
did you have a.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Video where it went viral and you were like, oh,
this could be something.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
My first video that went viral is so dumb that like,
if you pull it up, you'll actually laugh. It was
like me doing in like a It was a sound.
It was a TikTok sound, and I was like, this
is what dating in LA is like. It was like
the dumbest thing ever. But it went viral and I
was like, oh, like validation from Sandris feels kind of good.
And then I just kept going and then my friends
were like, I think you could like make money from
(06:07):
this and I was like what and they were like, yeah,
you can like make money from this if you keep going,
and all the like all of my jobs had let
me go because of the pandemic, and I was like
doing consulting and like working for doing this and that
kind of thing, like nothing steady, and so I was like,
oh damn, Like okay, I'll keep going. And then I
got my first brand deal. They were like, we'll pay
(06:27):
you six hundred dollars if you wear those pants in
your video. And I was like, shut off, you're kidding
doing to keep the pants and they're like, yeah, freak
and yeah. I started in May of twenty twenty and
I think by like August of twenty twenty, I had
a manager. So it went really fast. WHOA, it was
a different time. It was, yeah, it was a different time.
Everyone was on their phones. TikTok was in its infancy.
(06:48):
In my opinion, it was the best era. It was
like the era one that was like Charlie and Addison
and the you know, the hype house, and it just
felt so fresh. The content felt so funny. I don't
know if you guys remember, but like I could spend
eight hours on TikTok and I was laughing my ass
off the whole time. Now I go on and I'm like,
I don't know what I'm gonna get like it's I
don't know, like it's scary now, but yeah, it was
(07:11):
the best time.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Is that weird because how y'all were talking about You
were saying it's like a parasocial relationship, and you're saying
you're just as equally casual back. But is it when
you're posting something vulnerable or people are negative, do you
Is it kind of like a two double edged sword
in that way, yeah, because it hurts.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Your feelings and you're like, oh, I was so honest
with you guys, and then like you like, now it
feels now I feel stupid that I was honest with you.
And I have pulled back a lot, Like back in
the day, I would tell everything. I'd be on live crying,
like when I got cheated on. I did the famous
crying video, so embarrassing, like when I look back at it,
but it was like where I was in my life. Yeah,
(07:49):
But now I'm like, I don't know, I'm just not
in that era anymore. And maybe it's because I've been
on the internet for five years and I have been
burned by being vulnerable and I'm like, you know what,
there's parts of my life I just don't want to
s anymore, and so I've kind of found a happy medium.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
So is that how you started, like writing now this
book Hotter in the Hampton's No.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
I loved writing my first book so much. It was
so fantastic. It was nonfiction. It was something I really
felt like, I wanted to put all my thoughts in
one place for my community about knowing your worth and
how important self esteem is for everybody, but especially young women.
And then when I was thinking about what I wanted
to do next, I wanted to do something that was
like creative and like escapism and fun. And I used
(08:33):
to do these rich Mom videos where I would like
do rich Mom Starter Pack like Malibu Rich Mom Starter
Pack West Hollywood or whatever, and people love them. And
then I was like, what if I did that but
like into a book, like a whole story. And I
was also really inspired by my community. They read a
lot of romance novels. So I started reading a lot
(08:53):
of romance novels and I was like, these are great.
I love them, but I have like a different fantasy
than I want to see in my mind, like in
terms of the main character, in terms of the settings.
So it was a lot of different things that inspired
me to do this.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I'm like so fascinated because I wrote a book a
few years ago and it took me so much time
and effort and energy. So I'm like, I like to
get really like into the nitty gritty of this. When
did you start writing this book? Or like when when
did the idea start?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Like what year I had actually written the proposal for
another nonfiction book, and I was excited about it, like
I had this other idea which I still hope to
do at some point. And then I guess it was
like last year. No, like like a year and a
half ago. I was like, I actually have this different idea,
and I called my agents and I was like, I
(09:44):
want to write a series of romance novels that where
the girl is really cool. In all of them, she's
like flawed and she's like a real person, because we're
all flawed and messy, and like each book is going
to take place in a different rich mom location, like
White Lotus, and they're all going to explore a different
sexual fantasy. And my agent was like, yeah go. She
was like that's really I love it. Both of my agents,
(10:07):
I love them both shout out Margaret and like that.
But yeah, it was just like, oh, year and a
half's like not that crazy. Yeah, No, I don't think
that's that crazy. No.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I was expecting you to say, like this was three
years ago and.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, because like I kind of after my first book,
I took a little mental break and then I was like, whoa,
I need to like do something again, like I need
to do something meteor again, and I kind of like
needed to reorganize my life. And yeah, I have.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
A question because the book without I just have seen
a few videos about it has a queer storyline. Yes,
well yeah, yeah, yeah, and you collaborated with a queer
author to write Why was that important? Because I asked
someone who's in the community, and I have a girlfriend,
(10:58):
she's my first girlfriend, so like, my experience is limited
because I only have been with one woman, but we've been.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Together for seven years.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Totally like writing this, I imagine it was important for you
to have that voice.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
One hundred percent. It's I wanted to have that lived
experience and I'm not queer, so that was just so
key for me to have someone who has lived that
because I wanted to nail that part. And she's also
an incredibly talented writer, so it was amazing to learn
from her as well. So it was it was a
It was a great experience.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
And it's already being turned into a series. Correct, Yes, Yeah,
how does it happen?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
That's huge? I honestly can't believe it. It was like
always such a dream. And when we announced the book,
it you know, we sent it around to a couple people,
and when I heard they were interested, I was like,
no way, Like I I love them. They're so talented,
they're so smart, and obviously their show was like the
biggest hit of last year. So I'm just so thrilled
(11:54):
and be happier.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean, I really can't think of a more exciting
duo to take on, Like if I were writing a book,
I can't think of two people i'd want to create
a series for me right now than them.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
They just get it. They just like gennerally get it.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
So and I feel like you'll kind of have the
same tone, Like your tone and how you yeah speak
and deliver storytelling is very similar.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
In how y'all podcast?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
I guess I was listening to your podcast and talking
about it was your Coachella recap, and I feel like
it's very similar to the Foster Sisters.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
That's highest compliment, Thank you.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I love that well.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I think it's just being honest and real, and I
think I keep it real, yeah, and funny, Like I
think that's what it is. Which I loved that episode
because I find myself scrolling on I didn't go to Coachell,
like I'm at the point now where I think about
how bad my feet are going to hurt.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And how.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Tired I'm going to be, and so that just I'm like,
I can't do it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
But I was loving how you talked about how you
feel like at your peak right now?
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Right, Yes, I really do. That's been a focus of.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
What you've been talking about, Like you've been taking care
of yourself physically, mentally, and I feel like you're in
like the best place in terms of how you feel
about yourself. And you were saying how you were looking
at all these girls at Coachella and they're like in
their twenties and you're thinking, gosh, what would I have
been like.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
If I peaked at that age?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, And I thought it was such an interesting conversation
because there I don't know if you felt this way.
I saw a video where you were talking about how
you're gonna lean into being a millennial, like you're not
going to try to be gen Z anymore, and you
Donia and I have had this battle because I went
through this space where I was like, I feel like
I need to be younger, Like the gen Z is.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Wearing these pants.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I got to get these pants, and they're doing this
and they're doing this trend.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
I'm like, I don't care what gen Z is doing.
I'm not gen Z. I honestly think it's because of COVID.
Like I think us millennials like we got kind of
stuck in COVID, and so we thought that, Like I
read one article that said you get stuck at the
age where you entered COVID, so I would be like
twenty nine thirty. So I still like think that I'm
that age in we really Yeah, that's like called the
(14:02):
like the I don't know, the pandemic skip or something.
So I's interesting. And also just because like I was
on TikTok at that time that I was all of
my colleagues so to speak, we're like twenty or like
eighteen or whatever, and so I literally for a while
was stuck in that mindset, and then recently I've just
been like I'm obsessed with millennials, Like I love us,
Like I think we're so fabulous, we have the best attitudes.
(14:25):
We've created so much goodness in the world, like so
many companies, so many cool changes have been made, and
we really like stand on business. Like if millennials say
we're going to do something, we do like gen Z,
but we don't have to get in. So yeah, it's
now I'm like, live, laugh, loving my wife through life.
I am a millennial and proud and it's just like,
(14:47):
yeah to your point before I was talking about being
like a little bit of a late bloomer, and you know,
in a way, I'm happy about it because it kind
of like makes your personality develop more and you kind
of know know who you are, and then if you
feel like you get hot later, you can just enjoy
it and just do what you want with the people
that you want, because so much of your twenties is
(15:08):
hanging around with people that you don't actually like. Beer like,
but I feel like you should be friends with this person.
I feel like I should be dating this person's.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, do it. I was listening to Mel Robbins was
going through the decades of like which did you listen
to that where she's talking about what happened in your
twenties and thirties. Yeah, about feeling behind in life, which
is kind of on the same topic of late bloomers.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
But did you ever feel because you're are you single?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Okay, So I feel like there's this societal expectation of
like you should be doing this, this and this by
this age, and then this this and this by this age.
And I feel like with social media and this shift
that there's been, it's totally a different landscape. Now. Yeah, yeah,
how do you how do you feel navigating that and
(15:53):
being kind of like because I felt like you got
branded as like millennials bestie girl, like.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
I know, and you know, I've never called myself that,
Like I like, I'm always worried that people think that
I go around being like Millennial's big.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Sister, like.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
But whatever, No, I I think it is a different landscape.
I mean, I talk to so many women on my
radio show and through social media every week, and like
women are settling down later and later, and there is
a course still societal pressure, like of course you still
feel like I'm running out of time. Women have a
biological cloudy. If we want to have kids. Of course
(16:33):
that's in the back of your mind. We can't be
as care free. We do have to think about that.
That being said, what I encourage all my community to
do is like not settle or not make choices out
of fear of that societal pressure, because I think what
we've seen historically is women settling or making choices that
(16:54):
aren't the best for them just because they need feel
they need to like check boxes by a certain time,
and that's not going to equal happy piness. So I'm
happy to see that women are getting settling down later
in life. It doesn't mean that, you know, I'm not
of the camp of like, oh, you know, we can
all live by ourselves, like we all want love. Of
course that's human right.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
But if you.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Take a little while to discover who you are, to
work on your career, to work on yourself, and you
get married in your late thirties, forties, whatever, who cares?
Like truly who cares? And I always talk about like
being over the hump, and I feel like the hardest
time is like twenty nine to like thirty two, because
you're just completely manic all your friends are getting engaged,
all your friends are getting married, and you're just like,
(17:36):
oh my god, I'm just totally manique. Yeah, it's a
man of time, it's amount of time. But if you
get over the hump, I'm not going to be a
young bride like that shit is sailed. And now I
feel like completely free yea. And now I'm like, I'll
know it when I see it, and that's really exciting
and freeing and until then I can just have fun. Yeah.
I always.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I always thought of it as like I in my twenties,
I really gave my whole life to like my career,
like I and what I realize like now in hindsight,
now that I am married, like I just got married,
I'm like, I give so much to my relationship and
I'm like, I don't think I would have been able
to do as much in my career as I did
(18:15):
if I were in that relationship at that point in
my life. I know myself because I give everything a
hundred and so I would have been.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I just know I wouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
And I'm like, I feel like I believe in God,
and I feel like God kept me single for that
period of time to like fully give myself to my
career to like do these things that i'd like never
imagine that I could, and then brought him into my life.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yeah, and that's so beautiful. And I think it's like,
you know, you have to kind of lean into where
like what is in front of you, and that's all
about like how woo you want to get? But like
I really think you have to think, what is the
universe showing me right now? If the universe is showing
you tons of opportunities in your career, okay, it's a
good time to push there. If the universe drops an
(18:57):
amazing person into your life, okay, that's your time to
spend time with this person then. And I don't know
if you guys have read Matthew McConaughey's book Green Lights,
but I always think about that, like I he's like, oh,
it's a green light, or like you kind of have
to look for those things. And I always just think
I think there's timing, like we're all.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's actually good way of putting it. I feel like
I forced.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
You're really trying to turn some red lights green, trying
to like look at the green lights.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
But I didn't necessarily think that they were green, trying
to make them green.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, that's normal. We all do that, like, especially in
our twenties. We're like, no, this horrible person is my soulmate,
and yeah, your family and friends are like no, they're not,
like what are you doing? And it just takes time
and learning. But you know, we all have different seasons,
we all have different eras, and it's like freeing to
know that everybody is on their own path. You just
(19:48):
have to honestly have little faith.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I want to get into the dating, dating world that
you're experiencing, but first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
All right, we're back.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
So what is dating like for you in this this
era of Tony actually met her husband on the dating app.
So I'm I'm a big supporter of the dating app.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
So what is it?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Funny? He's like, totally normal. I know, I know it
can happen. I know it can happen. About how how
long ago did you meet? Twenty nineteen? Yeah that was back?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
You got a bad Really what is trump shoe?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yeah? They're really bad? Now what is it? Because I
hear this all the time. People are addicted to validation.
They match and they will never speak it. They don't
have any intention, and it's an addiction and like I'm
not some angel, like I feel it too. Sometimes I'll
match with the guy and I'm never going to meet
up with him. But I did that a lot too.
You know you're like, oh, well, you know, maybe he
(21:07):
looks all right, you see one thing on his profile,
you match, then you never meet up. Like that's but
that's everybody does that. There's just too much choice. It's
fried our brains. It used to be a good service.
It used to be like uber, like if you would
want a date, you would go on it. You'd get
a date and see if it worked. If it does great,
if not, cool. Now it's more like Instagram or TikTok,
(21:30):
where people just go when they're swiping, and they're swiping
and they do it whether in a waiting room, they're like, oh,
just going hints for a little bit. And that's why
it's completely lost. It's efficacy. I kind of I guess
I'm on the apps. I'm not like in a dating time.
I'm like, I'm like gonna, I'm so happy like in
my life and I'm a very decisive person and when
(21:51):
I know it, I'll see it. I'll see it. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Do you have EDI when you've when you have been
in a dating season? Yeah, do you have an emmat like,
do you have something where within the first few minutes
you're like absolutely not. Yeah, I mean beyond just like
a attraction.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
It's a vibe. It's a vibe. And everyone that I've
ever been with, I've met them and I'm like, They're
gonna be my boyfriend or I'm gonna spend time with
them or whatever. Like I'm a very It's just an
energy thing. And some would say that I'm too judgmental
too quickly, but I think that I know right away
like I do.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
That's what I was I was saying.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
No, everybody says like, oh, there's a slow burners the
guys that like you meet, and I think you forget
how how I was one of those people.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
You loved a slow burn. You were all about a
slow burn until you met Robby, and now all of
a sudden, you act like it has to be switcher tuned.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
But I also before my girlfriend, I was like, as
soon as I.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Would meet up with a guy, I'm like, when can
I go home?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:54):
That's how Maybe it was because it was men.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I don't know, but yeah, fair exactly. I just think
I don't know. I'm I'm not too worried about it, like,
oh yeah, I feel like I am having fun, Like
I'll go on a date here and there. I just like,
I think that the pressure that's on women is so
insane and I have better things to do with my
(23:17):
time than like freak out and go on seventy hinge
dates in a week, Like I just I.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You have to, literally, it's what it feels like. It's
like you're just going on like a hundred You're.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Like yeah, and you just and if you if you're
at a point where you feel you're like bored with
yourself or you're like not putting your best foot forward,
like you should be excited to go on a date.
You should be like, I'm excited, I'm gonna get dressed up.
This person could be interesting. And if you're at a
point where you're like, oh my god, I'm like just
going to do this like it's homework, that's not a
good place to be in it. And I'm a big advocate.
(23:49):
Like in my community, we have this thing called summer outside,
where like we really try to be off our phones
and we really try to like change our energy and
do like say yes to things that at our non phone,
like going to the dinner party with your friend, or
like going out with your coworker who you've never seen
outside of work, or like doing the sports thing, and
that we have so many success stories in my community
(24:10):
of people being like yeah, I was like for get
I'm going to Spain and then I met this guy
or whatever. Like we just need to like people act
like there's no real life anymore, like we just live online. Yeah,
there's still coffee shops, there's still dinner parties, there's still bars,
there's still clubs, there's still all these things, and it's
just about changing your energy. And sometimes I'll even catch myself.
(24:30):
I'll be out with friends and I'll be like hunched
over like on my phone, Like listen, like nobody's going
to come up to you that way. Yeah, if your
phone's in your bag and you're like looking around, you're
like hey, hey, like yeah, people want to talk, people
want to connect, especially if they're at a place like
a bar. You know, they didn't come there to be
on their phone, neither did you. So put your phone
away and look around and smile.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
It's become like the security blanket. But it's the most
hindering thing of like having any human connection. It's weird
because it's like you're seeking connection in the most surface
level way, like you're seeking something.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It's not surface.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
It's easy, but it's also like you're trying, like you're
scrolling social media trying to get validation there as opposed
to seeking human connection, with which I think everyone's craving
right now.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
I did it. I literally did it in every way,
shape or form. I would be on the apps.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
DM whatever, messaging every guy in the app, ID, on Instagram,
like dming whoever, you know, in real life, going to
the bar, like with my eyes open, trying to make
eye contact, like I was like.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
Feral holding eye contact with someone as they.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And I just make eye connectively said hi to me,
and then I would like go in like I was
like on it.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
It's true, though, there is so much pressure, and it's
like and then you get to a certain age and
because of the societal pressure, it's like people are like, I'm.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Like they after you haven't thought about it, Like we
as women, we've thought about this stuff since we're young,
you know.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
So it's like, how many people have asked you if
you've frozen your eggs?
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Seventy five thousand, ye one thing? And I'm like, it's
not like I don't mind talking about it. It's just
like it just bothers me that those are the first
questions that we always ask women, like are you this
and that? And like are you going to freeze your eggs?
And I'm like, well, you haven't asked a man if
you got a sperm checked?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, so sorry, I may I always get, but I
always get the when I say I haven't frozen my eggs,
I get the why not?
Speaker 3 (26:33):
I know.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
I'm like, obviously, this is something I thought about.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Very And then if you say your reason like I
didn't know you hadn't, I haven't either, and I don't
plan to. It's not the right choice for me. Yeah,
And I have like a list of reasons. I wrote
a pros and cons list. I'm a virgo, Like I
really did think about it. Yeah, right, I say my
reasons and then like people will still write me and
be like I know you think this, but like you're
gonna regret this, and like that's a wild thing to say.
(26:57):
To someone. Yeah, it's a wild thing to say to
someone when they've clearly put a lot of thought into it. Yeah.
And it's such a personal choice, and I think because
it is such a sensitive thing, there is a lot
of projection when it comes to it. So it's like
everybody needs to research and do what's best for them.
I'm so glad it's an option for women. I really am.
I think yeah totally. I said that. I'm like, I
(27:18):
love that it's an option. It's amazing. It's not my option.
It's not for me.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah yeah, yeah, but always it's always followed up with
like the one hundred slew of things.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Yeah, it's it is what.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Uh Well, I wanted to kind of shift into the
book because I know it comes out May six. Yes,
so the plan is the book comes out May six.
When does the series come out? Have you started working
on that at all? We are in the beginning stages.
I'm so new to this process.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I'm learning. I'm going to be an executive executive producer,
which I'm so excited about. So do you pick the cast?
I think yeah, but they've been amazing so far. So
we're starting to do the meeting and kind of look
at writers and everything, which is really cool.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Okay in your mind?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh yeah, and who's like the ideal like your main
I have.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
A list, but I don't want to jinx it. I
have I have a list in my head. I have
a list on my phone so that if it comes true,
I can show everyone. But like I'm manifesting, so I
can't chink it.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Do you have more than one person for each cast
or you just have.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
I have like the cast in my mind. Oh wow,
I am kind of a good manifestor so we'll see
if it happens.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
But yeah, fingers, does the main character in your mind
look like you?
Speaker 4 (28:29):
No?
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Oh no, I made her like blind with like big
boobs and like really sexy because like I don't know,
that's what I imagine. I wanted to work out because
like when I was writing it, I was like this
will be made into a movie or a show. Like
I was like manifesting while I was doing it, So
I was like, wow, like who do I think of you?
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Know?
Speaker 4 (28:48):
What do you do? You seem powerful in your manifestations?
How what is what is the key?
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I think just like you always have to be like
like having fun I like love Gabby Bernstein. I'm like,
if you have are having fun, like the manifesting will
come easy. And it's like I write a lot of
lists and I do a lot of treadmill manifesting, which
is where you just are on the treadmill and you're
like or you can be on a walk and you
(29:14):
like visualize what you want to happen. I just started
doing this. It's like I just started walking like it
sounds just say. I always just.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
To think that I needed to like do like crazy
like berries and like hit workouts and stuff, and I've
just started like doing this like ten thousand steps a day.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
It's the best.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I just started like two weeks before my wedding and
now I'm like obsessed with it. But I was like,
this is a great time. It's built in like hour
where I'm not I don't have anything to do that
I can start like really visualizing things.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
No, it's it's the best. I really love to walk,
like I walk every day. I do my rich mom walks,
and it's like where it's I do a lot of imagining,
like visualization, you just like imagine it and it's I
don't know.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
What does a rich mom walk intol.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Okay, So when I was doing my rich mom starter
packs on social media, can think.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Of an example of a like, let's do a Malibu
rich mom starter.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
A Malviy rich mom starter pack is like a g
wagon that has like an appropriate amount of scuffs on
it because you're a cool girl and you don't care
too much, and like also you've got seven of them,
Aviator Nation sweatpants, a sun Life smoothie which you don't
actually eat because it has low key twenty thousand calories
in it, some sort of a trucker hat that's like
(30:25):
faded that says like Malibu on it, like a lot
of like logan hollow all jewelry that's like casually like
fifty thousand dollars on your neck, even though it like
might get lost in the waves. But yeah, I'm basically
obsessed with like rich mom places and the women who
live in them. But then it kind of evolved into
rich mom energy, which like anybody can have rich mom energy.
(30:46):
You don't have to be rich or mom, you just
it's like rich moms get shit done. They have an
incredible sense of like power and beauty and they're fabulous.
So then I started calling you rich mom walks, which
is just like a walk you take could be five minutes,
could be an hour, and you just like to your point,
walking is literally the key to life. Like any problem
(31:08):
that you have, if you go on a walk, it's
like eighty percent solved when you come back. It really
helps you think. And people don't walk enough. In my opinion,
I'm I have to get ten k steps to day
or I go mentally insane. And you can go get
a coffee, you can talk to someone on the phone,
just use it as your U time, Like we really
don't have enough time to just do simple things. Yeah,
(31:31):
and that's why I'm so passionate about walking.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Yeah, you and Tanya are really it's the best.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
It really is.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
I know I've become like a I'm like, where has
this been my whole life? So I've been like beating
myself at these gyms, and it's just like it's in
the walk.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
It's in the walk. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I was going to get into your physical fitness journey
because I feel like I've seen you talk a lot
about that and how much it's transformed. No, like again,
not only just like your physical body, but it seems
like your mental confidence yes, like thinking even I remember
seeing videos of you, like being upset after dates and
like on the internet, and I feel and obviously there
(32:09):
comes like with time, there comes perspective totally, but in general,
I feel like you have had this glow up that's
so nice.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Thank you. I feel like weightlifting literally changed my life.
And I always was one of those people who thought
it's not for me, it's gonna make me bulky, it's
for really intense people like I never thought it would
be me. And then like a year and a half ago,
I guess like cliche, I started in January of twenty
(32:38):
twenty four. I was like, you know what, let me
just try. Let me commit to six months and really
not give up this time, because I've started a million
times like everybody, it's just so normal to quit and
I am obsessed with it. So I train. I like
lift heavy weights. There's something about the hardness of it.
(33:00):
Like I know all workouts are hard, berries is hard,
pilates is hard, but there's something about like almost primal
about lifting heavy things and like getting stronger that just
makes you feel so proud of yourself. And also I
think as adults, like we don't often get the chance
to become better at something, like by the time you're
in your thirties, you're like, you know what you're good at.
(33:20):
You stick to those things. You don't really learn new
things that often. And so for me, when I started weightlifting,
I was like, this is hard. I feel not good
at it. I feel, you know, like I'm a loser
and whatever. And just building up my strength has been incredible.
So I'm like such a big advocate for weightlifting, and yeah,
weightlifting and walking and it's good. And also, like to
(33:43):
your point, it does when you turn inwards, all the
rest of the stuff gets easier. You're like, ah, I
don't really care. Oh it's a bad day, Like I'll
get over it, like whatever.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, I like what you said about that, because I
also sometimes and I have this mentality that I feel
like has held me back so much, which is if
I'm not immediately good at it.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
I won't try it totally.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
And so I always think, like, what are the things
that I've missed out on that maybe I've had interest in,
but I've been scared that I'm not going to be
good at it, So therefore I just go or I
do what you do, and I what you did. And
I start something and then if I'm not immediately good
at it or don't feel strong in it, I'm like, yeah,
I quit totally.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
I'm the same way, like I really hate being bad
at things. I think it's especially at this stage in
my life. I feel like embarrassed if I'm not good
at something or I don't know how to do something.
And I was like, you know what, nobody is thinking
about me as much as I'm thinking about me, And
this is just like so many of my friends have
gotten into it, and it's also really important as women
that like for our bone density and just the strength training.
(34:42):
So I was like, let me just commit to six
months and see it was hard. I really almost quit
like three four months, and then I was like, I'm
so glad I pushed through because now I'm obsessed. It's
just really also so good for my mental health. Yeah,
thing is just different about it. Of course, I love
the pilates class with the girlies. That's so fun. I
love that stuff. I love all the classes are great,
(35:03):
but there's something about like the weightlifting that just makes
me has really helped transform me.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I wanted to talk to you about making friends in
your thirties and even I think twenties, because I think
once you're out of an organized like school system, or
I mean, it's hard even now because everything's remote, so
a lot of people don't even go into a work environment.
So a lot of people are just sitting at home
on their phones or computers working and they don't have
(35:47):
any interaction or ways of like making friends. What is
the advice you give people who are searching for friendship
and connection.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I think you have to actually like put in the work,
because it is one of the most common questions that
I got. People are like, I need to make more friends,
especially single people are like I need to make single friends,
like that you alone, especially as my friends get married,
And I totally feel that it's really scary to feel like, oh,
I have literally no one to go out with on
a Friday night when I'm single or whatever. But you know,
the thing is, especially post pandemic people sometimes like they're
(36:19):
like I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends,
And I'm like, okay, well have you tried, Like have
you You have to go make the effort. You have
to go to the workout class and say hey to
the girl you have to go if. I always say
to do whatever you like to do. So if you
like to run, join the run club. Do it, even
if it means you're getting a slower time or you're
not getting as good a run. Go do the social thing.
If you like to go out, like I like to
(36:39):
go out, so I've made a lot of friends out partying.
I know that sounds silly, but that's what I like
to do. I meet friends out and then we go
out together because that's how I spend my time. Another
great hack is, like single people always think to ask
married people for a setup. They're terrible it setups.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
We know this.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
A really good thing to do is ask the do
you have any other single friends you could set me
up with? That's a really and then they're like that's
a very easy task for them. They're like, yes, I
know all the single people. I can smush them together.
And then that's a great way to make friends as well.
But you have to show up. You have to do
the awkward first coffee date. Yeah, it's not pleasant. We
don't like it. Of course, you miss your old best friend,
(37:18):
but guess what, your best friend lives on the other
side of the country and she's got a baby, so
you need to be planting some seeds. I recently made
a new friend. I made two new friends, and I
love them so much. Like I got introduced to them
via my other friend who's married, and she was like,
you guys should meet. You know, you'll have a great time.
And we have the best time. Now, Like you just
(37:38):
have to do the first awkward meeting and see if
you vibe.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
That's a good point because a lot of our friends
have other friends. You know, a lot of people don't
like to merge their friend groups, but they have friends
from different seasons and it's like the one thing you
have in common is a friend.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah, and if you're friends with them, then hopefully they
have no bad vibes people around them, right, And I
do believe the saying like good people know good people.
So if it's a friend, that's you have to ask, like, hey,
do you know any other single people or whatever, like whatever.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
It may be, it's so true, like you have to
put in the effort and those.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
The first coffee day with a friend might be worse
than the first day.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
It might be harder than dating because it's it is
awkward and you're like I don't know where to go
with this, and maybe it won't work out, but then
the next one you will have that instant connection. I
staying especially with women for me at least, I know,
like also very fast with a girl. It's like if
they're vulnerable right away and they're just like, oh my god,
this and that is going on, I'm like, Oh, we're
gonna vibe like that's so cool.
Speaker 4 (38:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
So do you have any things when you're scrolling or
like IX about social media or things like when you're
looking that that you're you just you know how Sometimes
you'll be scrolling and you'll see something You're like, I
just need to put my phone down, Like you see
something in your go okay, this is my phone.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Time is done.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I think I am genuinely trying to limit myself more
and more because it just isn't I don't know, it's
not feeding me the same way I used to. I
I try to go on and have fun for a
little bit and then close out. I'm trying to think
about what things pick me out. One thing I don't
love is when people will do on TikTok, like a
cryptic video. They'll be like, guys, like I was just
(39:12):
in an event and there was an influencer there and
you guys all really love her, and she looked at
me in a really weird way and it just really
hurt my feelings and she's evil, and then it's like
a witch hunt in the comments.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Oh yeah, I wasn't there one just recently about Alex
Earl like that.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
I think there was. Yeah, I feel like I saw
on TMZ. But also it's just like, here's my thing.
If you want to start internet beef, start it, like,
if you really want to go there, then go and
make a video and be like I'm beefing with this
person for X y Z reasons. Don't make a cryptic
video and put a witch hunt so that everybody's trying
to guess and make it so like I don't know.
(39:49):
That just rubs me the wrong way. That's like what
Duma was kind of. Yeah, well that's more like celeb
gossip or whatever, like spottings and whatever.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I'm always so bad at them, Like I'll read Dumont
and then I'm like, who are they talking about?
Speaker 3 (40:01):
And I have to like go on the comments like yeah,
I know. I like sometimes I'll see the blind items
on TikTok and I love them, and they're always like
in code, they're like the sexy actress and I'm like,
I don't know who it is, and then it's so
obvious I got him.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
Have you ever been the subject of one of those videos?
Speaker 3 (40:18):
They always think it's me, That's what maybe why I
hate them, Always like it's cheeks, isn't it? And I'm like,
I literally don't want to influence their events.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
They give me anxiety. And the person's always like, no,
it's not.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
It's always nice when they make sure to let people
know it's not.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, And then that's the most annoying part is and
they go through the comments they're like, no, it's not her,
No it's not.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
But didn't just say like.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Oh my god, like enough it's not. It's just like silly.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
Can we talk about your DJ?
Speaker 3 (40:46):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Because I was at an event for uh, did you
DJ something with Tyler Cameron?
Speaker 4 (40:52):
Like an event?
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Yeah, okay last year I did it for his he
had a show, yeah, and it was his the launch party,
I believe, So he was.
Speaker 4 (41:00):
There and I was like, is that Tinks DJ?
Speaker 2 (41:03):
And they're like yeah, And I was like I didn't
even know that that was something you did.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
I just started speaking of learning new things as an adult.
I wanted to learn. I do it with my best
friend Lucas. We have known each other for like almost
ten years, and he's worked in music and we love
to party together. We have a big group of friends,
and we were like, how can we ensure that our
friends get together like six times a year for sure,
and also how can we get paid to party? And
(41:30):
so now we DJ and he taught me and it's
really fun. We've been doing it for I guess like
a year and a half now, and it was really
hard to learn. I don't know why everyone makes fun
of DJ's being like it's so easy. I'm not easy.
It's really hardy. But it's an incredible fun hobby. And
like I said, I love to learn and be bad
(41:51):
at something, and like it's scary, especially because obviously there's
a cliche of like, oh, the influence are becoming DJ,
Like I totally understand that. I think if you look
at my history, I really have always been a committed
party girl. So this is the natural progression for me.
I didn't start partying in Brat's summer, Okay, I've been
partying since way back, So it's very fun. We're headed
(42:15):
to Stagecoach this weekend. We're dojing a pop up there,
which will be amazing. Yes, it's really fun. We feel
like you're like doing all the things. I like to
be really busy. I really like to always be working
on a project. I like again to bring it full circle.
I really don't like my own thoughts. I'm like, I
always like to be working on something creative because then
(42:36):
it keeps me distressed instincts. I think something. There was
a class in my college called Design your Life, and
there's a professor and he always talked about how you
should follow your curiosity, and that's something that's stuck with
me all these years. He's like, it's really hard when
older people tell younger people like follow your passion, and
(42:56):
you're like, I don't know what my passion is. Like
a lot of the times that feels so that feels
so like intense to try and figure out what your
passion is. And then if you follow your curiosity, That's
something that's always really served me because I'm like, yeah,
I'm curious to go talk to this person, or I'm
curious to go like try writing this book or I'm
curious to try DJing, Like, just follow those things and
(43:18):
that will help like move you along. And not to
be corny, but it really puts you in the mindset
of it's about the experience and the journey. It's not
about the destination. It's not about the day the book
comes out. It's about writing it and the creative process,
and like, if you're proud of your work, then that's
so important. Same with DJing. It's like, I don't know,
(43:38):
it's I'm curious to see how far I can take it.
It's fun. I like connecting with people.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Why not, you know, could you like dj at Coachella
one year?
Speaker 3 (43:46):
That's our dream, I think. So we've DJed, like we
DJed the Nylon Party last year at Coachella, we DJed
Surflage fourth of July, which was huge for us.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
That's in Surflage is like in the Hampton, Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (44:01):
Know what your thing in the Malibou, Yes, yeah, surf Rider, Yeah, that's.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
I love that place too. But yeah, we we've had
so much fun doing it, and it's obviously a great
way for me to connect with my community. If they
like to party, I'm like, yeah, that's cool, fun.
Speaker 4 (44:16):
This is your first stage coach, first stage coach.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
So excited?
Speaker 4 (44:19):
Are you going like full country girl? What's your vibe?
Speaker 3 (44:22):
I'm doing like tanks version of country.
Speaker 4 (44:24):
What is that like?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I'm doing a lot of like turquoise jewelry and like
the big belts and boots and boots, I have my
good boots.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Exciting kind of like what era was that where we
had a lot of turquoise? Was that?
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Like it's very like Prince or Countess Luanne inspired. She's
always got like massive like necklaces on.
Speaker 4 (44:44):
It's like your rich mom stage coach.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
It's like I feel like a lot of rich moms
go to stage coach like they really like it, like
it's like time for them to party. And I've heard
that that crowded stage coach is slightly older or something
saying about that too.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
It's fun because it's very like hash I think.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I mean, there's you still have the It's the same
thing because you have the influencers. You have everyone like
wanting to go and get their pictures and meet everyone would.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
More chill, yeah, chill, that's yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:13):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
I can't wait to experience it. I do like country music.
I don't know I don't know too much about it,
but I do really always if it's on, I'll keep
it on. I like that, and I feel like it's
so mainstream now.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
So it's it's more about the vibes.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Yeah, since you're big on manifesting, what are the next
two years?
Speaker 3 (45:32):
Dude?
Speaker 4 (45:32):
Got manifest thems?
Speaker 3 (45:33):
You can't tell us well?
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Like, I mean, there's something about speaking into the universal.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
No totally well recently, and I don't know if I'm
going to pursue this. So I recently moved to New
York and I've noticed that there's no good frozen yogurt shops,
and I everyone on my team is like clenching their
but holes to see if I actually forced them to
go down this road because I was. I was like
this week, I was like another thing. I think I'd
like to open a frozen yogurt shop in New York
because I the best part about LA is like all
(45:58):
the fro yo and like, yeah, when you're in a
suburban place, they have the best frozen yogurt and it's
like such a treat and everybody loves it. Why would
you not have that in New York City? Like the
girlies need a fabulous place, and I would make it stunning,
like I would make it blonde wood, warm lighting, so
it's not like scary. You could go and sit with
your friends and have amazing froyo. So I don't know,
(46:20):
I kind of like jokingly said that I wanted to
make that, but I don't know. I'm just going to
follow my curiosity. As long as I'm like happy in
the moment and working on some projects, I'm just kind of, yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
I'm taking that with me after today, following your curt curiosity,
because I do think there's when people ask what are
your passion what are you passionate about?
Speaker 4 (46:38):
I get so overwhelmed because I'm like, it.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Feels so vinyl, it feel like it feels so like intense.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
I always say, like this new TV show I'm watching
so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
Yeah, but curiosity, it's like And also, if you're ever
feeling stuck, you just go back to that and you're like,
what am I curious about right now? It could be
something so small. It could be a person that you
met that you want to have a coffee with and
learn about their career whatever. Yeah, it could be a
new restaurant, Like never limit yourself, just be like, oh,
what is that? Like, why am I talking about fro you?
Because I'm curious about it. I don't know, I want
to see. Maybe I'll take a meeting. Yeah, I love
(47:09):
that too. I'm feeling inspired.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
I feel like you're one of those people where you
have an idea and you go get through always.
Speaker 4 (47:21):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
I always have to like sometimes it takes years and
years and years, but I just keep you just got
to keep going and learn. That's a good patience. Patience
is hard for me sometimes, but you just got to
keep sewing. That a mantra I love is the day
you plant the seed is not the day you bear
the fruit. Yeah, that's true. I think about that all
the time. So I always think about like planting little
seeds and they'll flower in the future. We never know when,
(47:44):
and that's kind of the exciting part of life. So true.
Speaker 4 (47:46):
Just start like a walking club.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
I would love to as well. Yeah we do. Why
do rich Mount walks in my community? We get together.
We've done like I don't know, eight or something all
over the country. It's really fun.
Speaker 4 (47:58):
Yeah, that's a great rate. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
I get so excited, Like there's I have like this
one route, and I ran into like an old friend
of min that haven't seen it in years. She's like
pregnant now, and we did our ten k steps together
and I was like, oh, it flew by, just like
having a friend with me, especially somebody that hadn't seen
in so long. And so now I'm like, anytime like
I can get someone to do my walk with me, I'm.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Like so fun. No, No, walking with a friend is
the best. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
I have a question that's just will round it out
with this because I've been thinking about it the whole podcast.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
Where did Tinks come from?
Speaker 3 (48:29):
So? Tinks is it's a nickname that I gave myself
when I was like eleven or twelve. It's from a movie.
I basically watched this movie. It's called Strike, and it's
about an all girls' school and there was this really
beautiful girl in it, and she was really confident and
her name was Tinka Parker. And so when I got
back to school that fall, I was like, guys, call
(48:51):
me Tinker Parker from now on, because that's like I'm
going to be confident like her or whatever, and it
got I don't know why they went with it, because
if someone told me to call them Tinker Parker. I'd
be like no, and then it got short into tink,
and then I got short into Tanks and it just stuck,
like for no reason, it just stuck for my whole life.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
So when you would would you introduce yourself as Tinks.
Speaker 3 (49:11):
Like in college? I did? Wow. Like in college, I
was like, oh, they call me tanks. It's such a
cute name. It really works for me. And yeah, maybe
I was even manifesting.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, it's like so unique, but just like so cute,
Like I don't know another Tinks.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
No, it's easy, it's short. It's like, and you're the
only Tinks, the only Tanks. No.
Speaker 4 (49:29):
I do you ever want to go back to Christina?
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like I've actually found on
dating more recently. If I'm meeting someone, I'm like, I'm Christina,
like just because I don't want to go into it
and I just want a little bit of separation from
my job. But I don't know. I always say call
me either, like it really doesn't matter to me. I'm both.
I answered to both.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
So when you go on dates, do people do guys
recognize you because you're such a you're a girl's girl.
Speaker 4 (49:56):
So do.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
Guys usually know and then they'll like look you up.
Then they'll be like, oh, I just looked at your
Instagram and like my sister follows you, and I'm right,
I really like I'll know I've met the guy when
he's like, what do you do? Like that's that's hot.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
Yeah, that's It takes a lot of woolpower not to
like google someone else.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
I know, And I hate to stop people before I
go on date some them because I'll be aicked out.
I'm very extensitive and I know that and I am
working on it. But like one thing and I'm like,
I can't, I can't do it.
Speaker 4 (50:29):
I need to know top three X, like right off
the bat X.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
I would say, okay, if a guy doesn't like listen
or ask me questions, which is an epidemic right now
in dating, guys just like do not ask questions, and
it's really it's insane. It's now that I've said it,
you'll like look out for it and anyone's single out
there will will have experienced this. I think when a
guy doesn't have any like interests or when he's not interesting,
(50:56):
he's not interested, which means he's not interesting that it's
just like, I can't do that, and what else? I
mean if a guy puts like emojis over other people's
faces and his dating app profile, that's an immediate wait
why because I'm like, I just I can't do that
(51:19):
like that or he doesn't want you to think that
his cute friend is him.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
Don't put that picture that.
Speaker 3 (51:25):
I think I will figure it out.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
I will perseure the thought of him, like putting the
little it's giving insecure.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
No, it's just it's giving, thoughtful, it's giving.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
I don't have so many photos to choose from.
Speaker 3 (51:37):
I think you should reconsider.
Speaker 4 (51:39):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
I can't do it.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
He doesn't have that many photos.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
He's like, should I have to use these? All these?
This is alid? God, find another one? Yeah, yourself going.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
Anyway, there's the next stick. You only have six photos
of yourself?
Speaker 2 (51:58):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (51:59):
Yeah, it is like do you have physical.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
Ages or of Like, no, I'm honestly really chill about
okay anything. I mean, look, am I a highth queen? Secretly? Yeah,
it's pretty hard to go back from six to four
after you've dated someone six four And I'm just gonna
put that out there. But I would never swipe no
on someone for a physical thing.
Speaker 4 (52:19):
Right, right.
Speaker 3 (52:20):
And also if you put all the guys I've dated
in a room, you would be like there's no common
thread between, Like you'd be every everything, everything, all over.
It's just like an energy thing. Yeah, I just like
Dick energy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
I like that you walk in and you know yeah.
Thank you so much for taking time to this was
so fun.
Speaker 4 (52:43):
Thank you, We love you everyone.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
I'm so happy that you were not absolutely thrown off
by Tanya.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Yeah, I'm happy I didn't scare you off. Oh my gosh,
it happens.
Speaker 4 (52:53):
She does that sometimes.
Speaker 3 (52:54):
It's such a fabulous conversation.
Speaker 1 (52:56):
Thank you so much, so excited, and you pick up
a copy six it's up, but you can preorder it now.
Speaker 4 (53:02):
Where can everyone follow you?
Speaker 2 (53:04):
At tanks t I n X on everything so nice,
got it all, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (53:09):
So fun
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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