March 27, 2025 • 51 mins
Becca and Tanya have no choice but to flip when Heather Rae El Moussa from “Selling Sunset” and “The Flipping El Moussas” enters the O.R.!
She opens up about her relationship with Tarek El Moussa and we get into the debate of *when* you should introduce your kids to a new partner!
And we get into what really happened at “the soccer game”.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing it.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Grub a dub dub.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We have a very fun guest today.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm really excited about this girl.
Speaker 4 (00:16):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
A lot of you know her from selling Sunset. She's
a luxury real estate expert. She's a model and actress.
She has really been all over your TVs.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yes, especially HGTV.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
She has the Flipping Almosa's, she has the hit competition series,
The Flip Off, and she's just an all around outstanding goal.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
And I feel like you'll have a lot in common.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We have a lot.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I was reading her bio and reading up about her,
and I just feel as though I'm talking to.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Myself.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
It's a mirror.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
It's a mirror.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well, let's bring her in and get the conversation going.
Everyone welcome Heather ray Elms.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Hello, Yeah, she just walked in.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
We don't get many gifts as podcasters, No, we do.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Not very rare gifts.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Yeah, well this won't be the last time I'll send
you guys some more.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
So nice. I put the I put mine on.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I got the color Honey Bunny, the lippy Lippy gloss
and I feel like gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I've put Honey Bunny onto and it's it is the
brain with Love Heather.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
My little thing is like with Love Heather.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The packaging is yeah, really cute, feels good, it smells good,
tastes good.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Oh so I've never met you before. You give you
give me a girls girl energy.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I am like you, you have that like that thing.
I just feel like women should support women through everything.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I feel like selling Sunset was the opposite.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Of that energy.
Speaker 5 (01:55):
But so, did you guys watch the show? No, okay,
did you watch it? No, just so we I just
know I know about drama. Yeah, so if you watch,
you'll see, like I'm very different than all the girls.
So I'm like I was friends with everyone. I kind
of kept the peace. Like I was like the peacemaker
of all the girls. So they were all like fighting
(02:17):
and drama and I'm like happy and let's all be
friends and let's talk through it. So that was kind
of who I was on the show.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Actually, Sam said that about to you, So that's your
that is your reputation.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
On the show.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Did you ever feel like drained by having to be that?
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like I do that now
with my husband and his ex wife. So I'm just
like kind of that person. But the show, the show
was draining in general. It was like so much drama,
just fighting about dumb things, Like it wasn't just about
real estate. It was like drama and I'd come home
and I'd like cry to my husband and be like
this happened today, and it was just it was a lot.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
It was a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
So yes, it seems like a lot I wanted.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I wasn't going to jump straight into working with your
husband's ex wife. But since we're talking about it.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
When that opportunity person, I feel like we did back
up a little bit because I like, I don't want
to jump right into it because I feel like I
want you to like set up like how and if.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
You don't mind, I don't know if you if you're
weird to talk about your age, but like how old
were you when you met your husband? How long were
you dating before you got married? And then and then let's.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Say, how did Jill meet And yeah, yes, we met
like random, so it was kind of like an old
school like me. It was like random when no one
introduced us. It was on fourth of July twenty nineteen,
I went down to Newport Beach, so I was living
in LA filming up here, working up here, and then
went down to Orange County for Fourth of July. And
he has a boat, and so his boat was like
(03:46):
docked at this famous bar called Woodies. And then the
boat I was on was docked at Woodies. And then
my girlfriend, who also lives in LA, she was on
his boat, which was random, and I saw her and
I went went down there, said hi to her, and
then he like B lines to me, A lines, B lines,
he bee lines to me, and he introduced himself and
I knew who he was because he, you know, he
(04:07):
had a show. His divorce was all over the place,
and I just knew. I knew who he was from
from all that, and he was like hi. I'm like hi,
and I wasn't interested. I was like in a zone.
I had just got off of like a three and
a half year relationship and I'd been dating and men
just were pulls. It was like apple after apple over
(04:27):
and over, and my heart was getting broken and I
was just kind of over it. I'm like I'm done.
I want to be happy. At this time, I was
thirty one, so you know, I had had some serious
relationships and then just kind of some like dating adventures,
and at that point in my life, I was ready
to get married. I wasn't looking to just date for fun.
And I'm a huge lover, like I always believe in
(04:50):
true love, like soulmates, and I knew he was out there.
It was just like finding the right person, which is
really hard, and I had kind of just not given up.
I'm like, I'm gona take a little bre I just
need I need to be happy on my own and
not worry about meeting my husband. So he introduced himself.
I'm like, I know you are. He thought I knew
him from who he was, and I'm like, you asked
(05:11):
me out on Instagram three years ago. He's let into
my DMS. But at the time, I had a boyfriend,
and I said, you know, I have a boyfriend. I'm flattered,
but I have a boyfriend. And then he's like, well,
do you want to go to Paris with me? And now,
well do you have a boyfriend? Still?
Speaker 7 (05:23):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Do you want to go to Paris next week? And
I'm like no, do you want to go to Vegas?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:28):
Will you go on a date with me. I'm like
I don't know, maybe, and we ended up exchanging phone numbers.
It's a long story. Do you want me to like
tell you not all? Kind of like I shrink it
down a little, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
I need to Did you go to Vegas? And did
you go to Paris?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
And I was like I'm not going to spend the
night with you, like I know that works. I'm not
doing that. And he's like we'll get separate rooms. Like
I'm like sure, okay, And then we ended up exchanging
numbers and texting back and forth for a couple of weeks.
A lot more happened. I mean, it's actually a really
good story. But I left the boat because some like
twenty year old girl started insulting me. Him and I
(06:05):
were like in a deep conversation about his divorce, and
she comes over and she's like, no more talk about divorce.
We're not talking about serious things today. And I was
like I'm too old for this. I just I don't
need this in my life. So I left the boat.
And everyone who I'm friends with on the boat that
day they said that he like went down to like
one of the rooms, was like sulking downstairs. Was so
(06:25):
sad that I left, and then he came back upstairs
and he ended up honking his boat horn at me.
I was on the other boat talking to another guy,
like laid on the horn made me like jump and
then he's like get over here, like you're my girl,
and I was like that's cute. So then we exchanged numbers.
I ended up leaving and he just was like texting
(06:46):
me and I ended up canceling our first date the
day of because I was like, you know, I'm I
just don't want to put myself out there. I just
don't want to get hurt again. And I felt like,
you know, I feel like that's where it's going to go.
And he's like, I promise you I'm different. Hmm. So
one of my best friends like, just give him a chance.
Why not just do it? I don't know. I'm like, okay,
(07:08):
So I'm like, you can take me out like Monday,
eight o'clock and only for drinks, and that's what happened,
and then that was kind of it.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Wait, so then y'all are together for a long time,
and how is the dynamic with you and his ex or.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
How soon were you integrated into that.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
So when after we decided to be like exclusive or
like boyfriend girlfriend, w was very quick. We moved in
together really really fast. So I met the kids and
his whole family probably like a week and a half
after we started dating. No, yes, and that is great.
So my I just got very last weekend congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
My husband's divorced with two kids and I didn't meet
them for about a year. So it's just crazy because
I feel like everybody always asks me, oh, I haven't
met the kids. It's been this long, And I'm like,
everybody has a different path, everybody has a difference.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I don't think there's a right and a wrong in
any scenario.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I'm like, it just depends on you your partner, and like
what they feel is right.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
So I was the first girl that had ever met
the kids since the divorce, and you know, he was
really particular about that and he had never dated, he
never dated anyone serious until he met me. And he
had told everybody, I'm never getting married again, I'm never
gonna have a girlfriend again because he went through such
a rough divorce it was really brutal. So when he
(08:27):
met me, everyone was like, wow, like this is not you,
Like how it was like overnight a completely different person,
like went from being like out partying and single forever
and then it was like you're gonna be my wife,
like I love you, and we just so we moved
really fast. I think both of us were just ready
for that connection. And the kids were really ready to
have a woman in their life again. You know, they
(08:49):
had their mom, but a woman on their dad's side.
And so his daughter, she was eight when I met them,
and his son was three, and she was like so
receiving to me, like she wanted me so bad, and
from the moment I met her, it was like read
her books every night to put her to sleep, like really,
we integrated our lives together, and then he proposed on
(09:12):
our one year, our one year anniversary, so it was
like very fast.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Did you feel like going did you ever see yourself
meeting someone who had kids?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
And oh wow, no? Now I think I had always
said I would never date a man with kids, because
it's a whole nother layer of yeah, you know, And
I came from being you know, single in LA with
my girlfriends, and then it was like, wow, I am
now raising children and I have like a serious boyfriend,
and I have these kids in my life. I have
(09:44):
to learn how to be not a mom. Was in
the beginning, you're not you know, you're not a mom.
You're still like figuring out your place. But it was
a huge change for me. And you never know how
the ex is going to be with you too, And
I didn't want to add that drama in my life.
And I'm a really sensitive person, and I didn't think
I'm a virgo. Okay, I could handle like if she
(10:06):
was like a nasty yatch to me, I don't think
I could. I couldn't handle that being the person that
I am, with the heart that I have.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I commend anyone who steps into
the role of a step parent when it's challenging from
the other parent. I mean, that's like you're taking on
not only the role of being a parent to these
kids that you're just meeting for the first time, but
also navigating the other parent who's involved.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Not easy.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
So when did you meet her?
Speaker 5 (10:37):
So pretty quickly into it I met her It was
Tark's Sun's birthday, so we met in July nineteenth. I
guess you could say official the end of July and
then I met her August twentieth.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Wow, how it was the meeting.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
She was very pregnant at the time with her third child,
and Dark and I were heading up to La to
like go to like Boa for dinner. So I'm in
this like fun little pink dress and I'm like, you know,
and I'd looking all cute and she looked beautiful. I mean,
she's a beautiful woman, so she looked pretty. But I'm
sure like him bringing in is new, Yeah, you know,
(11:20):
girl was like oh, and we went in, said happy
with his son, like hung out for a little bit,
and her and I just barely chit chatted. And I
was nervous because I'm like, I've never met her before.
She's the mother of your kids, and that's an important
position for me, Like I'm stepping into being in their lives,
and are we going to get along? How is it
going to be? And she probably didn't know at the
(11:41):
time we were going to be as serious as we were, right,
But yeah, it was. It was short the first meeting,
But then I did text her and I said, you know,
I'm going to be around the kids a lot. Is
there anything I need to know? I just want to
like introduce myself and just chit chat a little bit.
So I ride away texted her and said.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
That, so, was it just kind of like cordial, nice
to meet to you vibes?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Yeah, but not knowing if y'all were going to be
friends or not at that point.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
No, So then there's this infamous moment where y'all are
all at a was it a game?
Speaker 5 (12:18):
Soccer game?
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Soccer game?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Soccer? Question?
Speaker 5 (12:21):
Is?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
My question is how you went from that moment to
where you are now?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
But first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Wow, that's how it's done, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
A good one.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
All right, we are back. So the soccer game. Yes,
what happened.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
It's so funny because I never had like bad press
until I met my husband. I feel like I was
always like the nice girl, right, so I have good
press and then I meet him and it's like chaos.
Every day of my life. It still is. And you
know that I'm wrapped into Tark and Christina's drama and that.
And they were still filming Flip or Flop too, by
(13:16):
the way, Like, so when we started dating, they had
their shows still, so he was still filming with her,
and I had to navigate like. They did not speak
besides for the kids. It was like they didn't have
a they didn't have like a relationship. They did not speak.
So I'm like, okay, we hate her this week, we
like her, we hate her like well, like I didn't know.
I'm just I'm supporting my husband the soccer field. I'll
(13:41):
tell you, Like, I can't go into like super details,
but it's funny because it wasn't even me and her fighting,
like the pop Rozzi got this photo and it looked
like I was like leaning in, like yelling at her.
It wasn't even I was actually leaning in just kind
of like talking with her. But my husband and her
husband at the time, they more go into it like
they were like, you know, face to face, like getting
(14:03):
into it. And I don't even know why the pap
Rozzi were there. I don't I don't even know. But
we got mad about something that she did, I don't know,
and Tark just got upset about it and walked over
to her and said something. I went over to grab him,
and then I leaned in to say something to her
and then he pulled me away. So it looked like
I was fighting with her, but really it was him.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
That was more of yeah, you were trying to like
break down, use.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Use this situation in the next.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
But then my stepson he got really sick that night.
So we woke up to like calls at four in
the morning that his appendix had to come out, and
then something else in his stomach, and so we woke
up to calls that they were at the hospital, and
so we got our you know, got ready really quick
and then met at the hospital. And we had just
come off of that fight that day. And then that
(14:54):
was actually the weekend I got pregnant, so it was
like a lot happened that weekend and yeah, so we
ended up being at the hospital together and that kind
of that that from that moment on, we were cool.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh how crazy is that.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
That was like the moment that we were like no
more bs, Like we're not trying to come after you,
You're not trying to come after us, Like we need
to be cool for the kids, like, and that was
the moment that we've and we've been cool since.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
That's so interesting. That's literally the same day of the
fight is when.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
You cut Yes.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
It wasn't like a conversation.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
It was just like a known thing in the hospital.
We kind of had that conversation. Tark actually like pulled
her aside and said, you know, we're not like, we
don't want any issues with you, and she's like, I
don't either, and then from then on it was just,
you know, that stressful, scary moment with Brydon, my stepson,
brought us all closer together and then that was it.
(15:50):
The drama, all the drama and the BS was kind
of over.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Wow, So how did you navigate what?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So you're dating him and he's still working going to
work with his ex wife and obviously you know it's
like tense and they're not they're barely even speaking.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
How did you handle that though?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Because there's still I mean, I think everyone it's human
to have kind of like insecurities are like these people
were married, what if you know, how did you navigate that?
Speaker 5 (16:14):
It's interesting because you know a lot of people don't
ask me that, but I think like as women, you know,
we all go through things in our minds where you're like,
you know, is he doing that? Does he? And I
think for me in the beginning, you know, I knew
we loved each other, but it's still new and he's
with this woman for so many years of his life.
(16:34):
They have two kids together. I knew how in love
he was with her, and it was always like a
little in the back of my mind, like are you
still in love with this woman? Obviously he still love you,
you know you love me, But I never said that
to him. It's like I was a question I ever
asked him, but it was like, are you fully over her?
I mean, when you're you're deeply like you're married to someone,
(16:54):
you're in love with them, are you over it? And
but honestly, and he never it's like he did anything
to ever for me to ever think he wasn't. It
was just like the girl in me, like being a
little insecure at.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
The time, like a human in you.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Yeah, the human in me, I guess, yeah. And I
spoke about it only one other time with the Today Show.
I kind of brought that up, and then of course
the headlines take it and they spin all these things.
And so that's why I think I've always kind of
kept it to myself because I don't want to look
like I'm crazy, you know, But I think it's just
the human in you, right, like you're, yeah, you're a
(17:29):
little insecure in the beginning, I think in any relationship,
and it wasn't because of him, It was because of me.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And it's also it's such a specific situation that you're in,
Like how often are people having this very public relationship
with someone who's just gone through a very public divorce
and then they work together still, Like this is not
a normal Like people are so like.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I just want you to know that, like you, in
my opinion, like you don't sound crazy, you don't look crazy,
you don't nothing that you're saying is crazy, because I too,
like I I don't have to deal with the working
together part of it. But I feel like when I
was in the beginning, in the early stages, you're like, oh,
you've you've been married before, like you've had a wedding before, like.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
I'm the second wife.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, and not even that, but like it's like you
have these feelings of like, this is something I've looked
forward to my whole life and you've already done it.
And I had those same thoughts too, and it's like
you don't really realize until you have some time under
your belt with that person that like it is it's
I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I don't want to like minimize marriage. But it's just
another relationship, do you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
And it's a very different relationship.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
Before Yes, it took time. Like you said, it was
like now it's something I would never even and even
years ago, it's like I don't even think about that.
But in the beginning, yeah, there was those moments where
even though they did, they weren't speaking, they didn't get along.
But it's not like I'm just you know, in the beginning,
you're still managing your relationship. Yeah, you know each other,
and you add kids into it, and then you add
(18:59):
an wife who was very much in our lives, and
it's not like right away we were like very close,
you know. It was still like I was navigating my position.
I was navigating my relationship, navigating all of a sudden
taking care of children. So I was like I was
managing a lot. Plus I was still filming selling sunset
up in La a lot. Like I was managing a
lot of that time in my life and coming into
(19:21):
like a very chaotic situation with the public eye watching us.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Literally, I like it's like hearing my own self talking
because it's like I dealt with that on the literally
on a smaller scale because it wasn't like the public
was like, yeah, scrutinizing me in any way, shape or form.
So like I do commend you because I feel like
I didn't have that extra.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Layer of.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Scrutiny to deal with. And it is so crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
You're like a single girl just having to like I
would like spend saturdays postmating breakfast, lunch, and dinner on
my couch, like when I was exhausted to like barely
having a minute to myself and like figuring out what
to like make our family for dinner.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
You know what I mean. It's like it's such a
crazy like school.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Schedules and yeah, just and then guaranteeing and with with
the ex wife and it was, yeah, it was a lot.
So I'm happy I'm in the place I am now
because now that I like, now i'm six years in
I think back, I'm like, oh my god, wow, that
was a lot of girl. It was a girlwind it
still is. My husband's a little you know, he's fine.
He's crazy in a good way.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
So we all have a show together now we do
so and and obviously there's the working relationship, but it
seems like you and chriesting to have a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Are you friends?
Speaker 5 (20:36):
I would say we are friends. I don't want to
say we're not, because that's that's rude, because we do.
We know we But I think too, there has to
be boundaries when sure, it's still his ex wife, and
I think it wouldn't be respectful to him if I
was like, let's go out have girls nights, you know,
and I'm inviting her around, Like I think that I
still feel like there should be because like they went through
(20:57):
their their stuff, you know, and and ultimately my husband
is he's my number one. But we like each other
and we get along and we have fun together, which
he knew we would. He would always tell me like, oh,
you guys are gonna get along. You guys, you know,
you guys are definitely gonna get along and have fun together.
Because I was like, are we gonna enjoy working together?
(21:20):
We co parent, But it's very different when you're with
someone a lot more and you're you're filming with them
and him and her film together for years, and then
you know, I'm not the odd one out, but they were.
They knew how each other worked on set and filmed,
and you know, it's a relationship that you really have to.
It's hard. It's not easy to be on camera, right,
(21:40):
and him and I had our thing. I had my
thing on selling sunset, but like bringing us all together,
what was the dynamic going to be? The first day
we filmed together, she texted me after, She's like, that
was so fun. It was great. I'm like, I know,
I agree, it was so fun. So working together brought
our relationship closer where we got to know each other
on a deeper level and not just like co parents. Yeah, yeah,
(22:02):
I mean, I just want you to know, like I do,
you know a lot of step moms. Your situation is
so like unique and rare, and like, it's so nice
that you have that. I hope you will come to
me now that they know my situation, they know that
we're navigating it so positively. They now I hear a
lot of stepmoms coming to me. But before not really no,
(22:23):
but now I do. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Who presented the idea of y'all doing a show together?
Speaker 5 (22:29):
We had kind of Tark and I had been talking
about doing like a competition show, and then I forgot
exactly how it went down. But then we started talking
to Christina about doing it against each other and then
we propose it to the network and we came up
with a name too.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Yeah, it was interesting because we're co producers on the show,
so we really helped like cultivate the whole season and
bring it all together and.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
It's doing amazing. Yeah, Like, are you so proud?
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm proud of our
other show too. We have the Flipping all moosas that show,
like season two, season one, I was learning how to
flip shows on our flip shows Flip Houses on TV.
So you know you watched me like learning and season
two you see, like how much I've learned and put
it all together. It's so good. But I feel like
people stop talking about the flipping on says because the
(23:17):
flip off.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
You know nothing. People love a competition show. You bring
in your dynamic there they eat it up.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
So y'all expanded your family together? We did, so you
have a son together? What was that? How was that?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Like?
Speaker 4 (23:33):
What was it like with bringing because Tanya is gonna.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, eventually go through the process of expanding their family.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Y'all have a very similar It's.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Crazy, I'm like, but also I just got married last week.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm like everybody like race, I know, I know.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
So it's interesting because when we first met, we talked
about not having kids of our own, and I think
for me, until I met that person, I never I
wasn't like someone that was like I can't wait to
have children. I can't wait to I wanted to get married,
but I had never met anyone that I would want
to have children with. So then when we first met
(24:14):
and we instantly had a connection, I still was like, no,
I don't I don't think I want kids, like I'm okay,
and he already had his two, so he was like,
I'm good. He came well, yeah, he came over. I
remember he came over to my house and we like
sat down. I could tell his energy was off. I'm like,
what's going on. He's like, I just I'm really serious
that I don't want more kids and I don't want that.
I don't want you. I don't I don't know how
(24:36):
you're going to handle that. And I'm like, it's okay,
I don't want kids either. Well back forward, you know,
we fell in love and you have you have this
deep connection with someone, and then I loved being a
stepmom so much, I was so close to the kids.
I just wanted to experience it on my own and
have my own and have my own with him. And
(24:59):
we got married. We already kind of talking about it,
and his sister at the wedding was like, you have
to give her a baby, Like, give her a baby,
just you know, do it. And then after we got married,
we just stopped not trying. Wait, no, wait, we stopped
wait what does that mean you start stopped not wait,
we stopped protecting, like you know. So we were just
like whatever, whatever happens happened. But we had done IVF
(25:22):
and we had embryos because I had low fertility, and
then he had testicular cancer, so like, the chances of
us having a baby is very low. So I did
two rounds of IVF. I didn't get very many eggs,
but then they were able to make them in the lab.
I guess it's what they do. And then we got
(25:42):
four embryos, so we were planning on putting an embryo
in and then I got pregnant, so naturally. Yeah, So
it was just a lot of trying and a lot
of fun. Like we didn't I wasn't like stressing about it.
I was just like, whatever happens, because I know I
have my embryos, and then I got pregnant. It was
a huge shot, a huge shock.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
I know it's a lot of people talk about this.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I know it's a sensitive topic with infertility, but I
know that stress is such a.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Huge cause in a lot of people, Like once they stop.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I always hear that once they are like not overthinking
it and not trying so hard, which I think is
so hard to It's hard, Like it's so easy to
just be like, well, don't stress about it and it'll happen,
But it's there's so much stress, and especially when you're
really wanting it.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
You want one so bad.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, but I do think your your mentality. I do
think that that helps with a lot of people when
you're doing like acupuncture and things that limit your stress levels.
But do you all want more?
Speaker 5 (26:44):
That's a sensitive topic for me because I I didn't
obviously I had my step kids and I'm so in
love with them, but having your own baby, oh my gosh,
it's like it's so hard to explain it until you
go through it. And I'd see my friends and my
friends be like jetting, like like jetting off, leaving the
(27:05):
kids with nannies, and I'm like, oh, that'll be me,
you know, I'm sure, And so I kind of went
into it very much like I'm going to still be
able to continue my life and Turk and I will
still have our time together. And then I had a
baby and I my friends are like, we're gonna have
an intervention because I never wanted to leave. I want
(27:26):
to be with him all the time. I still do.
He is like the light of my life. He's the
It makes me so happy. How could I not want more?
But my husband is very much done. So we're very
different on what we want with our future, which is
hard because you know you're in love with some one
and you have this strong marriage, but then you want
very different things. So we are in therapy talking through things,
(27:51):
and it's just something that like, we never went to
therapy together, which I wish we would have started it
sooner because I think it's such an amazing thing and
it helps communication. But we more recently, i'd say four
months ago, started going to therapy together and we go
twice a month, so we don't go every week, but
it just helps us, like talk through what I'm feeling,
(28:13):
and then his feelings and yeah, so I'm thirty seven.
I'm turning thirty eight this year. So for me, it's
kind of like now or never in a way, not
because you can't have babies older, but I don't want
to be forty having babies still because it's you know,
it's a lot it is. It takes up a lot
of your time, a lot of your life, and the
kids are my priority over myself, so I want.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
To do it.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Get my body back, and it took a long time.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Thank you for sharing that because that was very honest.
And I also think a lot of people will be
able to relate to that because it's like you go
in to the relationship and the marriage not even thinking
you and want something. You get married, you get to
have you get to experience that love of having a child,
and then it's like now.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
And I also want to commend you too, because I
feel like I don't know if it was the same
with you, but I had so many people in my
ear telling me like go run head for the hills,
like because we didn't align necessarily at the exact same
time with our wants of just for the future, and
I'm like, I think you have to give people time
and space to figure things out. Because for us, like
(29:24):
my I keep when I say my fiance my husband,
he uh, he was never I don't want any more kids,
but he was never like I want more kids. So
he was kind of just like in the middle. And
I got to a place where I was like, I
do want more. So if that's something, if that's something
that you're not wanting, then like I need at some point,
I need you to figure it out. So I kind
(29:44):
of like gave him the time in the space, and
I would have people in my ear being like, you can't.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Change a man. You can't change him. He doesn't want to,
you should leave him, leave him.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And I was like, I'm going to give him the
time and the space and the grace to like figure
it out. And then you figured it out, and like
he's so excited about that step in that next, you know,
phase of our relationship.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
And I feel like it's really hard because.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You know, we're not I don't say like eighteen, but
it's like when you're eighteen or nineteen and twenty, when
you find this person, you're you're both single, you don't
have kids, and you know, there's you've lived a lot
of life and there's like a lot in there, and
I just feel like nobody really understands it unless you're
in it.
Speaker 5 (30:22):
And men need more time.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
To it's also black and white, yeah, and I think
a lot of people think that relationships are very black
or white.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
Yeah, it's not clearly like your situation and mine, and
men need time to process things. And for me, I'm like,
I wish I would have brought up having another baby
sooner after we had Tristan. But you know, postpartum two
is like really hard. Like I didn't have depression, but
like you go through crazy hormoneous changes. You're taking care
of this like little human that needs you. It's not
(30:51):
like you can just leave and like go like they
need you. And I breastfed for a long time. I mean,
I guess what's a long time now, but a long
time for me, Like it was a lot. I wrestled
for eight months and that is a long time. It's
a long time. And my milk it was really challenging.
He had tongue taih lip tongue tie, lip high and
cheek tie, and so breastfeeding wasn't just like a natural
(31:13):
thing for me, Like I thought it was gonna be, Oh,
you put him on the boob and you can breastfeed
in public. Like No, it was very challenging for me.
And you feel like, you know, as a mom, you're
like there's a lot of pressure to be like a
perfect mom, and you know you have outside people like
I still get screen iced he sucks on passies and
people are like attacking me that he sucks on passes.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
He's two.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
You know, it's like he's a baby still and who
cares it makes him happy?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
You know, And when are they supposed to stop doing that?
Speaker 5 (31:43):
I don't know, seriously, if you like look it up,
I guess it says by like tube. But his dentist
is like he can even suck one until he's four.
Nothing he's going to but like, yeah, I'm like, listen,
he's a baby. He just turned two years old. He's
my little baby. I'm not gonna like yeah anyways. So
it's just like shutting out the outside noise of what
kind of mom you should be, and there's a lot
(32:04):
of pressure, and then postpartum is no joke. You're trying
to figure out how to be a good wife. I
be a good step mom. I was back to like filming,
I was doing interviews. I was trying to take care
of it a newborn who I've never taken care of
a newborn. I don't know how to I don't know
how to change diapers. So I was like learning all
these things, and you know, you're going through all the
bleeding and the everything. It's just crazy what your body
(32:26):
goes through, and like trying to still be a good wife.
And then the man kind of expects you, not expects you,
but like they're used to a certain woman, right, and
then you're like going through all these changes. They'll never understand.
It's trying to explain it to them. And like he
was supportive, but then at some point they're out. He
was out going back to work and traveling still and
I'm home with this baby. Yeah, And him and I
(32:48):
were so used to being like joined at the hip, inseparable,
and then all of a sudden, I'm home with the baby.
He's taking the bigger kids out to go do things,
he's traveling, he's out working, he's at the office, and
I'm just like at home with this baby. It was
really hard for me because I was used to like
go go, go up until I gave birth. I was
filming two shows, Selling Sunset and The Flipping Ail moosays,
(33:09):
so I was used to being on the go NonStop
and then all of a sudden, you're home with a
baby and that's your life.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
One of our producers was we did like a whole
episode on that too, and she was saying like, I've
never like she's in a super healthy, happy marriage and
she's like, I've never had any sort of like uh resentment,
resentment to my husband until we had the baby. And
I can't remember what his porternity leave was, but he
went back and he would just like go to work
and she would just be like at home. And I
was like, wow, that's like it's very interesting change for
(33:37):
the word huge, like major, and you're not you don't
know what to expect if you haven't had one. I
think second time is always very different because you know
what to expect, you know the routine, You kind of
know what a baby's gonna need generally, like they're all different,
but you kind of know how you're going to handle postpartum.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
And but I think to my husband's worried that if
we have another one we're never going to see each other.
It's like we're never going to have our quality time together.
We already have now three imaginating another one. And he's like,
I've been raising babies since I was in my twenties.
You know, I'm ready to be done, honey. Yeah. And me,
(34:14):
I'm like, but I just started.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Yeah, that's kind of where we're at. You know, we're
talking through it. Yeah, thank you, I really want one.
He doesn't.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, No, I really appreciate you, like opening up about that,
because you could have literally just said to us like no, no, yes.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
Really, I like it's like, you know, there there's a
lot of layers to relationships in life, and we came
into a complicated situation. You know, it's been it's been
amazing and beautiful, but it's very complicated.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah. I was gonna say, I mean, you must have
really I felt like Tark was your person because you
really took on a lot. Like really, I'm thinking, I'm
like listening to all this that you've you know, navigated
since being in this relationship, and you must have. Really
I felt like this is the person I'm supposed to
be with, and yeah, I'm going to fight till the end.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
To I don't think you would do it if it
wasn't No, no, no, because it was a lot.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
But yeah, I mean we are best friends, we're soulmates.
Obviously you go through your issues and you know every
marriage has them, but in the end, like we are
each other's rock and we're best friends and we just
support each other through everything.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
I want to talk about this.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Yeah, let's talk about business. I want to get your number.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I want to talk about business because first of all,
you're such a virgo I get are you very much
like a perfectionist?
Speaker 5 (35:35):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yes, too much?
Speaker 3 (35:39):
Like do you anea Graham one? Do you know that?
Speaker 5 (35:41):
I don't know. I you know, I feel like I
did that? Did I do that test? I think I
did it. I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
It was trendy for a minute.
Speaker 5 (35:47):
Yeah, I don't remember what I am.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Okay, the perfectionist is number one.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Also see you being a nine, which is like your
peacemaker and like you you want people to be like
happy with you.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
And how oh yeah, happy with me. I don't like
when people are upset at me. Yeah, or if like
it's nothing, I'm like, are you okay? What did I
do nothing. I'm fine. I was just running into the
grocery store. I'm like, Okay, you know I don't like Yeah,
I don't like any kind of tension or even like
in my business, if I have to lay down the law,
I then like feel guilty that I had to lay
down the law.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Yeah, so that's what I'm trying. I'm like, I see
you as this person.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I'm like, as you're talking, I'm like, okay, she she's
a peacemaker, she's a perfectionist, and she's a businesswoman. So
how do all three of those coexist together? Because you
do so many things, Like we're looking at your bio
and Tonya goes, she does a thousand, where do we start?
Speaker 5 (36:40):
Well, Launching Heather Iay Essentials was a huge moment for
me because I, you know, three and a half years well,
I guess we talked about this off camera. So Heather
I Essentials is my beauty line that I launched just
last month. What are we in March February fourteenth. But
I sat on it. I worked on it for a
long time, and then I was kind of afraid to
(37:01):
launch because launching something is it can either do really
amazing or it can fall flat, and I was just
a little bit nervous, like what was going to happen.
And everything was self funded. We had some partners at
the time, but everything was me and Tark doing everything
pretty much, and I was like, I don't have marketing money.
I'm just going to do this on my own, and
(37:21):
so I was a little bit nervous. And then finally
I'm like, let's go, let's just do it, and we
sold out in two hours I'm sorry, two days.
Speaker 6 (37:29):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
So that was like a huge, very exciting moment for me.
But launching a business and running a business, it's NonStop.
It's like twenty four to seven. And because I am
such a perfectionist, I'm like on top of every single thing.
It's hard to let control go. And it's such a
baby brand still that I'm very involved with everything. But
(37:50):
I have a really good team behind me, hard workers,
positive people, like we're like a very strong team and
we're all growing it together. But that's been a challenge.
It's like I don't have any downtime because all my
downtime is Heathery Essentials, Like I'm just that's all I'm
working on now.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
I mean, that's so fun.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Too. I mean, you've had so many different mediums in
your work. So you worked on homes, which also is
like there is an element of beauty and design, but
then you take on your own your own line, you
put your name on it. You're formulating it, like going
to the labs and doing test And was there any
point where you were like, just stop it, stop production.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
I'm not doing it. I'm staying with what I'm safe with.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
It was more after like everything was made, everything was ready,
and I'm like, God, can I do this? And I
think anyone that's like never launched a business like you
and you're starting out like is is it going to
be successful? And plus I have a name, right and
like if it didn't do well, I'm like, that's embarrassing
for me too. And so those are all like real
thoughts that I was having. But at the same time,
(38:56):
my husband, he's an entrepreneur. He is so incredible. He
will get knocked down, he fights back and he's just
it doesn't nothing bothers him, and where I'm like what
is this, then He's like, that's an entrepreneur. Just go
for it. And if we fall down, we get back
up and we figure out like how to make it better,
and we strategize and I'm like, you know what, Okay,
(39:18):
let's do it then, and just having like that motivator
where he's like, it's fine, whatever happens, happens, let's just go.
So he kind of like pushed me to be like,
let's just do it. And I pulled it together and
we launched. Redid it with me. We launched and like
I was like, let's go, and it was like what
a week and we're like, let's go, and we did
it and it all came together.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I think it makes such a difference having someone who
obviously knows you better than anyone else.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
Who's like, go for it. What's the worst.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
The worst thing that can happen is that you don't
even try. Like the product is ready, so what it's
just gonna go.
Speaker 5 (39:52):
To waste, It's gonna sit there expire, and then what Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
If you've already put the money and time into it,
why wantn't you go for it?
Speaker 5 (39:58):
We sell ton, we sell tone, and we ended up
selling thousands and thousands, and I was like, yay, thank god.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
What's your like long term goal for Heather Ray Essentials?
Speaker 5 (40:09):
I want to keep growing it. I have more products
launching in April. So we launched three lip glosses so far,
more products launching the end of April for Mother's Day.
I'm not lip glosses, It'll be something else, and then
I have another lip gloss i' launching for summer, and
then I have more that are ready to go into production,
and then I'm now planning, like what's next. It could
take about a year to really, like once you have
(40:32):
an idea, to come out with a formula and get
everything ready. So I'm starting to plan that. But my
goal is to grow it and just be bigger, make
millions and millions hopefully, and just build relationships with my customers.
And that's the most important to me, is the relationships.
And if someone's not happy like that upsets me so much.
Going back to my you know, but I want my
(40:56):
fans and my customers to love what I put out.
It's quality products, and that was really important to me.
I could have just slapped my name on something and
put it out there, but I wanted it to be
mine and I wanted to like be every step of
the way involved, and that's what I did. So I'm
very proud of it.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
I love that I think people see, especially when there's
a public figure's name attached to something, that they feel
like it Some people do. I think they just here's
my product with my name on it, and there's not
as much intention behind it, I guess, But I do
think there's that feeling when you do it yourself and
(41:32):
you've put the work into it, and you know, you know,
like the ingredients center in what you're putting out.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
It makes you feel proud when it especially when it
does well.
Speaker 5 (41:41):
So proud. Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Did you have a brand that you first of all,
what made you want to do a beauty line? And
second well, did you have a brand that you were like,
I love how they're doing this.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
You know, I've really now that I've launched, I'm really
looking at other brands and I'm I'm so proud of
them because i know what it takes and I'm like, wow,
like I'm so impressed by what they did and especially
starting as like a small brand. And yes, I do
have a name, but it's not like I have this
like a ton of money like behind it. You know,
(42:13):
it was a lot of it was just self funded.
So summer Fridays, like I feel like, they did an
incredible job starting with the one product and then really
killing it on that one product, and now they've branched
out with them and their marketing is so amazing. And
I was using a lot of non toxic brands and
(42:35):
I get sent a lot of stuff, you know, obviously,
and I would like try things here and there, and
I was like, I don't this consistency, the color, like,
there's no scent to it, it smells, grows, Oh, it's so toxic.
And so I started like really looking into things and
ingredients and finding out that a lot of brands are
not transparent with what they're using. And I was like
(42:57):
trying ones that I really liked, and I'm like, Okay,
well what are they doing? What don't I like about this?
And I'm like, I really want to create my own wine,
my beauty line. And I've always been passionate about like
skincare and wellness and beauty, and I have my asthetation license,
so I just was like very passionate about the beauty world.
And then my old partner was like, oh, well, why
(43:18):
don't we just white label? And it's not me because
even when brands send me things or I get a
brand deal from my agent, I'm like, I don't believe
in that product. I can't post about it. So that's
very much who I am. Even if they offer a
great amount of money, I'm like, no, I just can't
do that. I can't be fake with it. So I
just wanted to be transparent with my consumers and put
out something that they knew what they were putting on
(43:41):
their body. And that was really important to me.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
I love that. I think it's really hard.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
I've had ideas of wanting to start beauty, hair care
and beauty stuff, and it's so overwhelming to even know
where to begin. So I am so impressed that you
did that on top.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
Of all everything else.
Speaker 5 (43:59):
Thanks finding good people that can help you that are
experts in that department, Like that's what I did. I
had someone that was they had been working with a
bunch of brands, they fulfilled other products, like they knew chemists,
so you know, they helped me align everything. Because I'm
not a chemist. I don't know you know, I don't
know what ingredients go well together. I can I just
(44:21):
know what I like. So it was like testing so
many different consistencies and even the wand like the wand
shape I have is you know, it's not like a
normal wand shape. So it's like testing like so many
wands and the packaging and the ingredients and the stickiness
and the scent. It was like and I wanted the
scent to be natural. I didn't want it to be synthetics.
(44:41):
So it's just a flavor, vanilla flavor, and like finding
the flavor that wasn't synthetic. It was just it was
a lot of work, Yeah, but it was fun. It
was a lot of work and then you see it
all come together and it's so special.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
Well, I love it.
Speaker 5 (44:54):
I mean, thank you.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Do you have any guilty pleasures? Are you a reality
Do you like reality TV? Do you like script it?
What's your yes? If you're just sitting down to relax,
what are you going for?
Speaker 5 (45:20):
So my husband's out of town this weekend and I
miss him, but it's also my time to like have
like my girl time. Because when you get married or
like you're in a relationship, right like at nights, a
lot of the time you spend with your significant other,
you don't really have a lot of girl time. And
so I'm gonna watch I love the Kardashians and do
my face masks. And then I'm watching Housewives of Beverly
(45:44):
Hills and I was just telling Bree, like I want
to get into like Love Island, but they're also young.
I don't know if I can, are you.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I've watched almost watch Love Island UK season five is
a great one to start if you're like just starting
because it's like just really really good.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Love Island UK Season.
Speaker 5 (46:05):
Eight is also fantastic, So five and eight, five and
eight in the UK, okay, and then.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
USA the last one that just aired. I don't know
what season it.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Was, three or two, two or four.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
The last season of USA that just aired is also
fantastic television.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
But I'd start with one of those three.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Okay, But I will say she's been trying to me
watch it forever, and she said to UK season five.
I tried to watch it three times, like I had
to restart three.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Times because I couldn't get into it.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
I feel like Heather and.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
I, yeah, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna tell you, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I mean it's a it's an investment because it's like
sixty something episodes.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
It's a lot, but like it's easy TV.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
So it's like you can watch it in the background
and like you can go rush your teeth, you can
put a fit. You don't have to be like you
know what I mean, you have to pay ten so
much attention. Yeah, it is amazing. Yeah, yeah, I love reality.
Speaker 5 (46:57):
I stopped watching Selling Sunset, not because of any reason,
but I was like, I'm not on it anymore. But
I love reality. I love the Kardashians.
Speaker 7 (47:06):
I do Wait, it was your favorite of the kardashianss
Oh gosh, I say Chloe. Yeah, yeah, she's just like
they're all like great, but I love what.
Speaker 5 (47:17):
Kind of mom she is. She just has good energy
and good vibes.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
I was thinking, So, when was Selling Sunset your first
time being on TV.
Speaker 5 (47:26):
Yeah. I had done modeling and I had done some acting,
like had acting roles, but it was my first time
doing reality. And I had no idea, like no idea
what I was doing because I'm not like a calculated
like a lot of reality stars. I feel like they're
very calculated, and I was like, I'm not calculated person
at all, and I just kind of went into it.
I was just myself and it was Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Was it hard or weird to watch herself on TV
or I guess if you were in the acting world
and modeling world, you re used to seeing your face.
But but I was on The Bachelor like years ago,
and I could bear watch the episodes that I was on.
Speaker 5 (48:02):
I think for me it was like a teaching moment
because especially now with the flip off and the flipping
al musas, It's like, I like to watch myself because
I'm like, oh, I could have done better talking about
what I was doing to the house, or I could
have done better explaining to the audience, because you know,
we're teaching. That's good that, Yeah, I need more of
(48:22):
that because I'm like, I learned from myself, so I'm
like I could do better, like I could be better.
And so I like watching myself back because I know
I can improve myself because I take it very serious.
I love being on TV and I'm so grateful for
the opportunity of that I've been given, and I love
what I do. So I just I enjoy watching myself
(48:45):
and I love seeing my husband and I film together.
It's I think we make great TV. I really do,
and it's not easy to do bring two different people
together and make really good TV. And then you know,
add Christina and like, we our show is so good
and I'm so proud of it that I I was
so excited to watch it selling Sunset. I wasn't a
co producer. We don't really know what's going to be
(49:05):
put out there. There was a lot of times that,
you know, things happen. I'm like, h what happened like that?
You know, So there's a lot that you don't have
control of and it's very nerve wracking, where my show
I have a lot more control.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
Yeah, that's a relief.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yeah, I imagine My last question for you.
Speaker 4 (49:24):
I don't know if you've seen the trend where.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
People like, like, what would you tell your younger self?
Speaker 5 (49:28):
Oh, what would you tell the coffee?
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Well, I mean that's the concept. Yeah, what would you
tell sixteen year old Heather?
Speaker 5 (49:36):
I would probably tell her stop worrying so much and
everything will come together.
Speaker 4 (49:43):
Were you a warrior?
Speaker 5 (49:45):
I'm a warrior. I still am. My dad's a worrier. Okay, yeah,
I'm like I just am. I'm like a preparer. I'm
a warrior. I'm you know, that's just who I am.
Speaker 4 (49:52):
Are you are you? Do you have siblings? I have
a sister older, younger.
Speaker 5 (49:56):
Older, Okay, yeah we're very different.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Yeah yeah second young is child you give older child.
Speaker 5 (50:02):
And yeah, I'm like, I'm like a mom mom.
Speaker 4 (50:07):
Yeah you've always been a mom before you even were mom. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (50:09):
I want to be like free and chill and like whatever.
I'm just not that person.
Speaker 4 (50:13):
That's okay.
Speaker 5 (50:14):
I think acknowledges that I'm just not like I just
I am who I am.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
I can't think acknowledging.
Speaker 4 (50:19):
That is the freedom.
Speaker 5 (50:20):
Yeah, for true I like that.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, where can people follow you and see content and
all the things that you're doing?
Speaker 5 (50:27):
Yes, okay, let me try to remember. So I'm for Instagram,
I'm the Heather rail Musa. My TikTok is Heather rail Musa,
Heather just Heather rail Musa, and then Heather I Essentials
is Heather I Essentials, and then on TikTok it's Heather
dot ray dot Essentials.
Speaker 4 (50:44):
Perfect. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you
so much opening up and being vulnerable.
Speaker 5 (50:50):
We so appreciate It's very fun.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
Thank you,
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing it.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Grub a dub dub.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We have a very fun guest today.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I'm really excited about this girl.
Speaker 4 (00:16):
Me too.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
A lot of you know her from selling Sunset. She's
a luxury real estate expert. She's a model and actress.
She has really been all over your TVs.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Yes, especially HGTV.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
She has the Flipping Almosa's, she has the hit competition series,
The Flip Off, and she's just an all around outstanding goal.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
And I feel like you'll have a lot in common.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We have a lot.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I was reading her bio and reading up about her,
and I just feel as though I'm talking to.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Myself.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
It's a mirror.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
It's a mirror.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well, let's bring her in and get the conversation going.
Everyone welcome Heather ray Elms.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Hello, Yeah, she just walked in.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
We don't get many gifts as podcasters, No, we do.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Not very rare gifts.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
Yeah, well this won't be the last time I'll send
you guys some more.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
So nice. I put the I put mine on.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I got the color Honey Bunny, the lippy Lippy gloss
and I feel like gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I've put Honey Bunny onto and it's it is the
brain with Love Heather.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
My little thing is like with Love Heather.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
The packaging is yeah, really cute, feels good, it smells good,
tastes good.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Oh so I've never met you before. You give you
give me a girls girl energy.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I am like you, you have that like that thing.
I just feel like women should support women through everything.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I feel like selling Sunset was the opposite.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Of that energy.
Speaker 5 (01:55):
But so, did you guys watch the show? No, okay,
did you watch it? No, just so we I just
know I know about drama. Yeah, so if you watch,
you'll see, like I'm very different than all the girls.
So I'm like I was friends with everyone. I kind
of kept the peace. Like I was like the peacemaker
of all the girls. So they were all like fighting
(02:17):
and drama and I'm like happy and let's all be
friends and let's talk through it. So that was kind
of who I was on the show.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Actually, Sam said that about to you, So that's your
that is your reputation.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
On the show.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Did you ever feel like drained by having to be that?
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like I do that now
with my husband and his ex wife. So I'm just
like kind of that person. But the show, the show
was draining in general. It was like so much drama,
just fighting about dumb things, Like it wasn't just about
real estate. It was like drama and I'd come home
and I'd like cry to my husband and be like
this happened today, and it was just it was a lot.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
It was a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
So yes, it seems like a lot I wanted.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I wasn't going to jump straight into working with your
husband's ex wife. But since we're talking about it.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
When that opportunity person, I feel like we did back
up a little bit because I like, I don't want
to jump right into it because I feel like I
want you to like set up like how and if.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
You don't mind, I don't know if you if you're
weird to talk about your age, but like how old
were you when you met your husband? How long were
you dating before you got married? And then and then let's.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Say, how did Jill meet And yeah, yes, we met
like random, so it was kind of like an old
school like me. It was like random when no one
introduced us. It was on fourth of July twenty nineteen,
I went down to Newport Beach, so I was living
in LA filming up here, working up here, and then
went down to Orange County for Fourth of July. And
he has a boat, and so his boat was like
(03:46):
docked at this famous bar called Woodies. And then the
boat I was on was docked at Woodies. And then
my girlfriend, who also lives in LA, she was on
his boat, which was random, and I saw her and
I went went down there, said hi to her, and
then he like B lines to me, A lines, B lines,
he bee lines to me, and he introduced himself and
I knew who he was because he, you know, he
(04:07):
had a show. His divorce was all over the place,
and I just knew. I knew who he was from
from all that, and he was like hi. I'm like hi,
and I wasn't interested. I was like in a zone.
I had just got off of like a three and
a half year relationship and I'd been dating and men
just were pulls. It was like apple after apple over
(04:27):
and over, and my heart was getting broken and I
was just kind of over it. I'm like I'm done.
I want to be happy. At this time, I was
thirty one, so you know, I had had some serious
relationships and then just kind of some like dating adventures,
and at that point in my life, I was ready
to get married. I wasn't looking to just date for fun.
And I'm a huge lover, like I always believe in
(04:50):
true love, like soulmates, and I knew he was out there.
It was just like finding the right person, which is
really hard, and I had kind of just not given up.
I'm like, I'm gona take a little bre I just
need I need to be happy on my own and
not worry about meeting my husband. So he introduced himself.
I'm like, I know you are. He thought I knew
him from who he was, and I'm like, you asked
(05:11):
me out on Instagram three years ago. He's let into
my DMS. But at the time, I had a boyfriend,
and I said, you know, I have a boyfriend. I'm flattered,
but I have a boyfriend. And then he's like, well,
do you want to go to Paris with me? And now,
well do you have a boyfriend? Still?
Speaker 7 (05:23):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Do you want to go to Paris next week? And
I'm like no, do you want to go to Vegas?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:28):
Will you go on a date with me. I'm like
I don't know, maybe, and we ended up exchanging phone numbers.
It's a long story. Do you want me to like
tell you not all? Kind of like I shrink it
down a little, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
I need to Did you go to Vegas? And did
you go to Paris?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
And I was like I'm not going to spend the
night with you, like I know that works. I'm not
doing that. And he's like we'll get separate rooms. Like
I'm like sure, okay, And then we ended up exchanging
numbers and texting back and forth for a couple of weeks.
A lot more happened. I mean, it's actually a really
good story. But I left the boat because some like
twenty year old girl started insulting me. Him and I
(06:05):
were like in a deep conversation about his divorce, and
she comes over and she's like, no more talk about divorce.
We're not talking about serious things today. And I was
like I'm too old for this. I just I don't
need this in my life. So I left the boat.
And everyone who I'm friends with on the boat that
day they said that he like went down to like
one of the rooms, was like sulking downstairs. Was so
(06:25):
sad that I left, and then he came back upstairs
and he ended up honking his boat horn at me.
I was on the other boat talking to another guy,
like laid on the horn made me like jump and
then he's like get over here, like you're my girl,
and I was like that's cute. So then we exchanged numbers.
I ended up leaving and he just was like texting
(06:46):
me and I ended up canceling our first date the
day of because I was like, you know, I'm I
just don't want to put myself out there. I just
don't want to get hurt again. And I felt like,
you know, I feel like that's where it's going to go.
And he's like, I promise you I'm different. Hmm. So
one of my best friends like, just give him a chance.
Why not just do it? I don't know. I'm like, okay,
(07:08):
So I'm like, you can take me out like Monday,
eight o'clock and only for drinks, and that's what happened,
and then that was kind of it.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Wait, so then y'all are together for a long time,
and how is the dynamic with you and his ex or.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
How soon were you integrated into that.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
So when after we decided to be like exclusive or
like boyfriend girlfriend, w was very quick. We moved in
together really really fast. So I met the kids and
his whole family probably like a week and a half
after we started dating. No, yes, and that is great.
So my I just got very last weekend congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
My husband's divorced with two kids and I didn't meet
them for about a year. So it's just crazy because
I feel like everybody always asks me, oh, I haven't
met the kids. It's been this long, And I'm like,
everybody has a different path, everybody has a difference.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I don't think there's a right and a wrong in
any scenario.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I'm like, it just depends on you your partner, and like
what they feel is right.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
So I was the first girl that had ever met
the kids since the divorce, and you know, he was
really particular about that and he had never dated, he
never dated anyone serious until he met me. And he
had told everybody, I'm never getting married again, I'm never
gonna have a girlfriend again because he went through such
a rough divorce it was really brutal. So when he
(08:27):
met me, everyone was like, wow, like this is not you,
Like how it was like overnight a completely different person,
like went from being like out partying and single forever
and then it was like you're gonna be my wife,
like I love you, and we just so we moved
really fast. I think both of us were just ready
for that connection. And the kids were really ready to
have a woman in their life again. You know, they
(08:49):
had their mom, but a woman on their dad's side.
And so his daughter, she was eight when I met them,
and his son was three, and she was like so
receiving to me, like she wanted me so bad, and
from the moment I met her, it was like read
her books every night to put her to sleep, like really,
we integrated our lives together, and then he proposed on
(09:12):
our one year, our one year anniversary, so it was
like very fast.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Did you feel like going did you ever see yourself
meeting someone who had kids?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
And oh wow, no? Now I think I had always
said I would never date a man with kids, because
it's a whole nother layer of yeah, you know, And
I came from being you know, single in LA with
my girlfriends, and then it was like, wow, I am
now raising children and I have like a serious boyfriend,
and I have these kids in my life. I have
(09:44):
to learn how to be not a mom. Was in
the beginning, you're not you know, you're not a mom.
You're still like figuring out your place. But it was
a huge change for me. And you never know how
the ex is going to be with you too, And
I didn't want to add that drama in my life.
And I'm a really sensitive person, and I didn't think
I'm a virgo. Okay, I could handle like if she
(10:06):
was like a nasty yatch to me, I don't think
I could. I couldn't handle that being the person that
I am, with the heart that I have.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I commend anyone who steps into
the role of a step parent when it's challenging from
the other parent. I mean, that's like you're taking on
not only the role of being a parent to these
kids that you're just meeting for the first time, but
also navigating the other parent who's involved.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Not easy.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
So when did you meet her?
Speaker 5 (10:37):
So pretty quickly into it I met her It was
Tark's Sun's birthday, so we met in July nineteenth. I
guess you could say official the end of July and
then I met her August twentieth.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Wow, how it was the meeting.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
She was very pregnant at the time with her third child,
and Dark and I were heading up to La to
like go to like Boa for dinner. So I'm in
this like fun little pink dress and I'm like, you know,
and I'd looking all cute and she looked beautiful. I mean,
she's a beautiful woman, so she looked pretty. But I'm
sure like him bringing in is new, Yeah, you know,
(11:20):
girl was like oh, and we went in, said happy
with his son, like hung out for a little bit,
and her and I just barely chit chatted. And I
was nervous because I'm like, I've never met her before.
She's the mother of your kids, and that's an important
position for me, Like I'm stepping into being in their lives,
and are we going to get along? How is it
going to be? And she probably didn't know at the
(11:41):
time we were going to be as serious as we were, right,
But yeah, it was. It was short the first meeting,
But then I did text her and I said, you know,
I'm going to be around the kids a lot. Is
there anything I need to know? I just want to
like introduce myself and just chit chat a little bit.
So I ride away texted her and said.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
That, so, was it just kind of like cordial, nice
to meet to you vibes?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Yeah, but not knowing if y'all were going to be
friends or not at that point.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
No, So then there's this infamous moment where y'all are
all at a was it a game?
Speaker 5 (12:18):
Soccer game?
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Soccer game?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Soccer? Question?
Speaker 5 (12:21):
Is?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
My question is how you went from that moment to
where you are now?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
But first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Wow, that's how it's done, Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
A good one.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
All right, we are back. So the soccer game. Yes,
what happened.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
It's so funny because I never had like bad press
until I met my husband. I feel like I was
always like the nice girl, right, so I have good
press and then I meet him and it's like chaos.
Every day of my life. It still is. And you
know that I'm wrapped into Tark and Christina's drama and that.
And they were still filming Flip or Flop too, by
(13:16):
the way, Like, so when we started dating, they had
their shows still, so he was still filming with her,
and I had to navigate like. They did not speak
besides for the kids. It was like they didn't have
a they didn't have like a relationship. They did not speak.
So I'm like, okay, we hate her this week, we
like her, we hate her like well, like I didn't know.
I'm just I'm supporting my husband the soccer field. I'll
(13:41):
tell you, Like, I can't go into like super details,
but it's funny because it wasn't even me and her fighting,
like the pop Rozzi got this photo and it looked
like I was like leaning in, like yelling at her.
It wasn't even I was actually leaning in just kind
of like talking with her. But my husband and her
husband at the time, they more go into it like
they were like, you know, face to face, like getting
(14:03):
into it. And I don't even know why the pap
Rozzi were there. I don't I don't even know. But
we got mad about something that she did, I don't know,
and Tark just got upset about it and walked over
to her and said something. I went over to grab him,
and then I leaned in to say something to her
and then he pulled me away. So it looked like
I was fighting with her, but really it was him.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
That was more of yeah, you were trying to like
break down, use.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Use this situation in the next.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
But then my stepson he got really sick that night.
So we woke up to like calls at four in
the morning that his appendix had to come out, and
then something else in his stomach, and so we woke
up to calls that they were at the hospital, and
so we got our you know, got ready really quick
and then met at the hospital. And we had just
come off of that fight that day. And then that
(14:54):
was actually the weekend I got pregnant, so it was
like a lot happened that weekend and yeah, so we
ended up being at the hospital together and that kind
of that that from that moment on, we were cool.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh how crazy is that.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
That was like the moment that we were like no
more bs, Like we're not trying to come after you,
You're not trying to come after us, Like we need
to be cool for the kids, like, and that was
the moment that we've and we've been cool since.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
That's so interesting. That's literally the same day of the
fight is when.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
You cut Yes.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
It wasn't like a conversation.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
It was just like a known thing in the hospital.
We kind of had that conversation. Tark actually like pulled
her aside and said, you know, we're not like, we
don't want any issues with you, and she's like, I
don't either, and then from then on it was just,
you know, that stressful, scary moment with Brydon, my stepson,
brought us all closer together and then that was it.
(15:50):
The drama, all the drama and the BS was kind
of over.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Wow, So how did you navigate what?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So you're dating him and he's still working going to
work with his ex wife and obviously you know it's
like tense and they're not they're barely even speaking.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
How did you handle that though?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Because there's still I mean, I think everyone it's human
to have kind of like insecurities are like these people
were married, what if you know, how did you navigate that?
Speaker 5 (16:14):
It's interesting because you know a lot of people don't
ask me that, but I think like as women, you know,
we all go through things in our minds where you're like,
you know, is he doing that? Does he? And I
think for me in the beginning, you know, I knew
we loved each other, but it's still new and he's
with this woman for so many years of his life.
(16:34):
They have two kids together. I knew how in love
he was with her, and it was always like a
little in the back of my mind, like are you
still in love with this woman? Obviously he still love you,
you know you love me, But I never said that
to him. It's like I was a question I ever
asked him, but it was like, are you fully over her?
I mean, when you're you're deeply like you're married to someone,
(16:54):
you're in love with them, are you over it? And
but honestly, and he never it's like he did anything
to ever for me to ever think he wasn't. It
was just like the girl in me, like being a
little insecure at.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
The time, like a human in you.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Yeah, the human in me, I guess, yeah. And I
spoke about it only one other time with the Today Show.
I kind of brought that up, and then of course
the headlines take it and they spin all these things.
And so that's why I think I've always kind of
kept it to myself because I don't want to look
like I'm crazy, you know, But I think it's just
the human in you, right, like you're, yeah, you're a
(17:29):
little insecure in the beginning, I think in any relationship,
and it wasn't because of him, It was because of me.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And it's also it's such a specific situation that you're in,
Like how often are people having this very public relationship
with someone who's just gone through a very public divorce
and then they work together still, Like this is not
a normal Like people are so like.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I just want you to know that, like you, in
my opinion, like you don't sound crazy, you don't look crazy,
you don't nothing that you're saying is crazy, because I too,
like I I don't have to deal with the working
together part of it. But I feel like when I
was in the beginning, in the early stages, you're like, oh,
you've you've been married before, like you've had a wedding before, like.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
I'm the second wife.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, and not even that, but like it's like you
have these feelings of like, this is something I've looked
forward to my whole life and you've already done it.
And I had those same thoughts too, and it's like
you don't really realize until you have some time under
your belt with that person that like it is it's
I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I don't want to like minimize marriage. But it's just
another relationship, do you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
And it's a very different relationship.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
Before Yes, it took time. Like you said, it was
like now it's something I would never even and even
years ago, it's like I don't even think about that.
But in the beginning, yeah, there was those moments where
even though they did, they weren't speaking, they didn't get along.
But it's not like I'm just you know, in the beginning,
you're still managing your relationship. Yeah, you know each other,
and you add kids into it, and then you add
(18:59):
an wife who was very much in our lives, and
it's not like right away we were like very close,
you know. It was still like I was navigating my position.
I was navigating my relationship, navigating all of a sudden
taking care of children. So I was like I was
managing a lot. Plus I was still filming selling sunset
up in La a lot. Like I was managing a
lot of that time in my life and coming into
(19:21):
like a very chaotic situation with the public eye watching us.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Literally, I like it's like hearing my own self talking
because it's like I dealt with that on the literally
on a smaller scale because it wasn't like the public
was like, yeah, scrutinizing me in any way, shape or form.
So like I do commend you because I feel like
I didn't have that extra.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Layer of.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Scrutiny to deal with. And it is so crazy.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
You're like a single girl just having to like I
would like spend saturdays postmating breakfast, lunch, and dinner on
my couch, like when I was exhausted to like barely
having a minute to myself and like figuring out what
to like make our family for dinner.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
You know what I mean. It's like it's such a
crazy like school.
Speaker 5 (20:02):
Schedules and yeah, just and then guaranteeing and with with
the ex wife and it was, yeah, it was a lot.
So I'm happy I'm in the place I am now
because now that I like, now i'm six years in
I think back, I'm like, oh my god, wow, that
was a lot of girl. It was a girlwind it
still is. My husband's a little you know, he's fine.
He's crazy in a good way.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
So we all have a show together now we do
so and and obviously there's the working relationship, but it
seems like you and chriesting to have a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Are you friends?
Speaker 5 (20:36):
I would say we are friends. I don't want to
say we're not, because that's that's rude, because we do.
We know we But I think too, there has to
be boundaries when sure, it's still his ex wife, and
I think it wouldn't be respectful to him if I
was like, let's go out have girls nights, you know,
and I'm inviting her around, Like I think that I
still feel like there should be because like they went through
(20:57):
their their stuff, you know, and and ultimately my husband
is he's my number one. But we like each other
and we get along and we have fun together, which
he knew we would. He would always tell me like, oh,
you guys are gonna get along. You guys, you know,
you guys are definitely gonna get along and have fun together.
Because I was like, are we gonna enjoy working together?
(21:20):
We co parent, But it's very different when you're with
someone a lot more and you're you're filming with them
and him and her film together for years, and then
you know, I'm not the odd one out, but they were.
They knew how each other worked on set and filmed,
and you know, it's a relationship that you really have to.
It's hard. It's not easy to be on camera, right,
(21:40):
and him and I had our thing. I had my
thing on selling sunset, but like bringing us all together,
what was the dynamic going to be? The first day
we filmed together, she texted me after, She's like, that
was so fun. It was great. I'm like, I know,
I agree, it was so fun. So working together brought
our relationship closer where we got to know each other
on a deeper level and not just like co parents. Yeah, yeah,
(22:02):
I mean, I just want you to know, like I do,
you know a lot of step moms. Your situation is
so like unique and rare, and like, it's so nice
that you have that. I hope you will come to
me now that they know my situation, they know that
we're navigating it so positively. They now I hear a
lot of stepmoms coming to me. But before not really no,
(22:23):
but now I do. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Who presented the idea of y'all doing a show together?
Speaker 5 (22:29):
We had kind of Tark and I had been talking
about doing like a competition show, and then I forgot
exactly how it went down. But then we started talking
to Christina about doing it against each other and then
we propose it to the network and we came up
with a name too.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (22:44):
Yeah, it was interesting because we're co producers on the show,
so we really helped like cultivate the whole season and
bring it all together and.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
It's doing amazing. Yeah, Like, are you so proud?
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I'm so proud. I'm so proud. I'm proud of our
other show too. We have the Flipping all moosas that show,
like season two, season one, I was learning how to
flip shows on our flip shows Flip Houses on TV.
So you know you watched me like learning and season
two you see, like how much I've learned and put
it all together. It's so good. But I feel like
people stop talking about the flipping on says because the
(23:17):
flip off.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
You know nothing. People love a competition show. You bring
in your dynamic there they eat it up.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
So y'all expanded your family together? We did, so you
have a son together? What was that? How was that?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Like?
Speaker 4 (23:33):
What was it like with bringing because Tanya is gonna.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, eventually go through the process of expanding their family.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Y'all have a very similar It's.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Crazy, I'm like, but also I just got married last week.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm like everybody like race, I know, I know.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
So it's interesting because when we first met, we talked
about not having kids of our own, and I think
for me, until I met that person, I never I
wasn't like someone that was like I can't wait to
have children. I can't wait to I wanted to get married,
but I had never met anyone that I would want
to have children with. So then when we first met
(24:14):
and we instantly had a connection, I still was like, no,
I don't I don't think I want kids, like I'm okay,
and he already had his two, so he was like,
I'm good. He came well, yeah, he came over. I
remember he came over to my house and we like
sat down. I could tell his energy was off. I'm like,
what's going on. He's like, I just I'm really serious
that I don't want more kids and I don't want that.
I don't want you. I don't I don't know how
(24:36):
you're going to handle that. And I'm like, it's okay,
I don't want kids either. Well back forward, you know,
we fell in love and you have you have this
deep connection with someone, and then I loved being a
stepmom so much, I was so close to the kids.
I just wanted to experience it on my own and
have my own and have my own with him. And
(24:59):
we got married. We already kind of talking about it,
and his sister at the wedding was like, you have
to give her a baby, Like, give her a baby,
just you know, do it. And then after we got married,
we just stopped not trying. Wait, no, wait, we stopped
wait what does that mean you start stopped not wait,
we stopped protecting, like you know. So we were just
like whatever, whatever happens happened. But we had done IVF
(25:22):
and we had embryos because I had low fertility, and
then he had testicular cancer, so like, the chances of
us having a baby is very low. So I did
two rounds of IVF. I didn't get very many eggs,
but then they were able to make them in the lab.
I guess it's what they do. And then we got
(25:42):
four embryos, so we were planning on putting an embryo
in and then I got pregnant, so naturally. Yeah, So
it was just a lot of trying and a lot
of fun. Like we didn't I wasn't like stressing about it.
I was just like, whatever happens, because I know I
have my embryos, and then I got pregnant. It was
a huge shot, a huge shock.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
I know it's a lot of people talk about this.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I know it's a sensitive topic with infertility, but I
know that stress is such a.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Huge cause in a lot of people, Like once they stop.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I always hear that once they are like not overthinking
it and not trying so hard, which I think is
so hard to It's hard, Like it's so easy to
just be like, well, don't stress about it and it'll happen,
But it's there's so much stress, and especially when you're
really wanting it.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
You want one so bad.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Yeah, but I do think your your mentality. I do
think that that helps with a lot of people when
you're doing like acupuncture and things that limit your stress levels.
But do you all want more?
Speaker 5 (26:44):
That's a sensitive topic for me because I I didn't
obviously I had my step kids and I'm so in
love with them, but having your own baby, oh my gosh,
it's like it's so hard to explain it until you
go through it. And I'd see my friends and my
friends be like jetting, like like jetting off, leaving the
(27:05):
kids with nannies, and I'm like, oh, that'll be me,
you know, I'm sure, And so I kind of went
into it very much like I'm going to still be
able to continue my life and Turk and I will
still have our time together. And then I had a
baby and I my friends are like, we're gonna have
an intervention because I never wanted to leave. I want
(27:26):
to be with him all the time. I still do.
He is like the light of my life. He's the
It makes me so happy. How could I not want more?
But my husband is very much done. So we're very
different on what we want with our future, which is
hard because you know you're in love with some one
and you have this strong marriage, but then you want
very different things. So we are in therapy talking through things,
(27:51):
and it's just something that like, we never went to
therapy together, which I wish we would have started it
sooner because I think it's such an amazing thing and
it helps communication. But we more recently, i'd say four
months ago, started going to therapy together and we go
twice a month, so we don't go every week, but
it just helps us, like talk through what I'm feeling,
(28:13):
and then his feelings and yeah, so I'm thirty seven.
I'm turning thirty eight this year. So for me, it's
kind of like now or never in a way, not
because you can't have babies older, but I don't want
to be forty having babies still because it's you know,
it's a lot it is. It takes up a lot
of your time, a lot of your life, and the
kids are my priority over myself, so I want.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
To do it.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Get my body back, and it took a long time.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Thank you for sharing that because that was very honest.
And I also think a lot of people will be
able to relate to that because it's like you go
in to the relationship and the marriage not even thinking
you and want something. You get married, you get to
have you get to experience that love of having a child,
and then it's like now.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
And I also want to commend you too, because I
feel like I don't know if it was the same
with you, but I had so many people in my
ear telling me like go run head for the hills,
like because we didn't align necessarily at the exact same
time with our wants of just for the future, and
I'm like, I think you have to give people time
and space to figure things out. Because for us, like
(29:24):
my I keep when I say my fiance my husband,
he uh, he was never I don't want any more kids,
but he was never like I want more kids. So
he was kind of just like in the middle. And
I got to a place where I was like, I
do want more. So if that's something, if that's something
that you're not wanting, then like I need at some point,
I need you to figure it out. So I kind
(29:44):
of like gave him the time in the space, and
I would have people in my ear being like, you can't.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Change a man. You can't change him. He doesn't want to,
you should leave him, leave him.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And I was like, I'm going to give him the
time and the space and the grace to like figure
it out. And then you figured it out, and like
he's so excited about that step in that next, you know,
phase of our relationship.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
And I feel like it's really hard because.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
You know, we're not I don't say like eighteen, but
it's like when you're eighteen or nineteen and twenty, when
you find this person, you're you're both single, you don't
have kids, and you know, there's you've lived a lot
of life and there's like a lot in there, and
I just feel like nobody really understands it unless you're
in it.
Speaker 5 (30:22):
And men need more time.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
To it's also black and white, yeah, and I think
a lot of people think that relationships are very black
or white.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
Yeah, it's not clearly like your situation and mine, and
men need time to process things. And for me, I'm like,
I wish I would have brought up having another baby
sooner after we had Tristan. But you know, postpartum two
is like really hard. Like I didn't have depression, but
like you go through crazy hormoneous changes. You're taking care
of this like little human that needs you. It's not
(30:51):
like you can just leave and like go like they
need you. And I breastfed for a long time. I mean,
I guess what's a long time now, but a long
time for me, Like it was a lot. I wrestled
for eight months and that is a long time. It's
a long time. And my milk it was really challenging.
He had tongue taih lip tongue tie, lip high and
cheek tie, and so breastfeeding wasn't just like a natural
(31:13):
thing for me, Like I thought it was gonna be, Oh,
you put him on the boob and you can breastfeed
in public. Like No, it was very challenging for me.
And you feel like, you know, as a mom, you're
like there's a lot of pressure to be like a
perfect mom, and you know you have outside people like
I still get screen iced he sucks on passies and
people are like attacking me that he sucks on passes.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
He's two.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
You know, it's like he's a baby still and who
cares it makes him happy?
Speaker 3 (31:39):
You know, And when are they supposed to stop doing that?
Speaker 5 (31:43):
I don't know, seriously, if you like look it up,
I guess it says by like tube. But his dentist
is like he can even suck one until he's four.
Nothing he's going to but like, yeah, I'm like, listen,
he's a baby. He just turned two years old. He's
my little baby. I'm not gonna like yeah anyways. So
it's just like shutting out the outside noise of what
kind of mom you should be, and there's a lot
(32:04):
of pressure, and then postpartum is no joke. You're trying
to figure out how to be a good wife. I
be a good step mom. I was back to like filming,
I was doing interviews. I was trying to take care
of it a newborn who I've never taken care of
a newborn. I don't know how to I don't know
how to change diapers. So I was like learning all
these things, and you know, you're going through all the
bleeding and the everything. It's just crazy what your body
(32:26):
goes through, and like trying to still be a good wife.
And then the man kind of expects you, not expects you,
but like they're used to a certain woman, right, and
then you're like going through all these changes. They'll never understand.
It's trying to explain it to them. And like he
was supportive, but then at some point they're out. He
was out going back to work and traveling still and
I'm home with this baby. Yeah, And him and I
(32:48):
were so used to being like joined at the hip, inseparable,
and then all of a sudden, I'm home with the baby.
He's taking the bigger kids out to go do things,
he's traveling, he's out working, he's at the office, and
I'm just like at home with this baby. It was
really hard for me because I was used to like
go go, go up until I gave birth. I was
filming two shows, Selling Sunset and The Flipping Ail moosays,
(33:09):
so I was used to being on the go NonStop
and then all of a sudden, you're home with a
baby and that's your life.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
One of our producers was we did like a whole
episode on that too, and she was saying like, I've
never like she's in a super healthy, happy marriage and
she's like, I've never had any sort of like uh resentment,
resentment to my husband until we had the baby. And
I can't remember what his porternity leave was, but he
went back and he would just like go to work
and she would just be like at home. And I
was like, wow, that's like it's very interesting change for
(33:37):
the word huge, like major, and you're not you don't
know what to expect if you haven't had one. I
think second time is always very different because you know
what to expect, you know the routine, You kind of
know what a baby's gonna need generally, like they're all different,
but you kind of know how you're going to handle postpartum.
Speaker 5 (33:54):
And but I think to my husband's worried that if
we have another one we're never going to see each other.
It's like we're never going to have our quality time together.
We already have now three imaginating another one. And he's like,
I've been raising babies since I was in my twenties.
You know, I'm ready to be done, honey. Yeah. And me,
(34:14):
I'm like, but I just started.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Yeah, that's kind of where we're at. You know, we're
talking through it. Yeah, thank you, I really want one.
He doesn't.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, No, I really appreciate you, like opening up about that,
because you could have literally just said to us like no, no, yes.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
Really, I like it's like, you know, there there's a
lot of layers to relationships in life, and we came
into a complicated situation. You know, it's been it's been
amazing and beautiful, but it's very complicated.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah. I was gonna say, I mean, you must have
really I felt like Tark was your person because you
really took on a lot. Like really, I'm thinking, I'm
like listening to all this that you've you know, navigated
since being in this relationship, and you must have. Really
I felt like this is the person I'm supposed to
be with, and yeah, I'm going to fight till the end.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
To I don't think you would do it if it
wasn't No, no, no, because it was a lot.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
But yeah, I mean we are best friends, we're soulmates.
Obviously you go through your issues and you know every
marriage has them, but in the end, like we are
each other's rock and we're best friends and we just
support each other through everything.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
I want to talk about this.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Yeah, let's talk about business. I want to get your number.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
I want to talk about business because first of all,
you're such a virgo I get are you very much
like a perfectionist?
Speaker 5 (35:35):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yes, too much?
Speaker 3 (35:39):
Like do you anea Graham one? Do you know that?
Speaker 5 (35:41):
I don't know. I you know, I feel like I
did that? Did I do that test? I think I
did it. I don't remember.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
It was trendy for a minute.
Speaker 5 (35:47):
Yeah, I don't remember what I am.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Okay, the perfectionist is number one.
Speaker 5 (35:50):
Yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Also see you being a nine, which is like your
peacemaker and like you you want people to be like
happy with you.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
And how oh yeah, happy with me. I don't like
when people are upset at me. Yeah, or if like
it's nothing, I'm like, are you okay? What did I
do nothing. I'm fine. I was just running into the
grocery store. I'm like, Okay, you know I don't like Yeah,
I don't like any kind of tension or even like
in my business, if I have to lay down the law,
I then like feel guilty that I had to lay
down the law.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Yeah, so that's what I'm trying. I'm like, I see
you as this person.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
I'm like, as you're talking, I'm like, okay, she she's
a peacemaker, she's a perfectionist, and she's a businesswoman. So
how do all three of those coexist together? Because you
do so many things, Like we're looking at your bio
and Tonya goes, she does a thousand, where do we start?
Speaker 5 (36:40):
Well, Launching Heather Iay Essentials was a huge moment for
me because I, you know, three and a half years well,
I guess we talked about this off camera. So Heather
I Essentials is my beauty line that I launched just
last month. What are we in March February fourteenth. But
I sat on it. I worked on it for a
long time, and then I was kind of afraid to
(37:01):
launch because launching something is it can either do really
amazing or it can fall flat, and I was just
a little bit nervous, like what was going to happen.
And everything was self funded. We had some partners at
the time, but everything was me and Tark doing everything
pretty much, and I was like, I don't have marketing money.
I'm just going to do this on my own, and
(37:21):
so I was a little bit nervous. And then finally
I'm like, let's go, let's just do it, and we
sold out in two hours I'm sorry, two days.
Speaker 6 (37:29):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
So that was like a huge, very exciting moment for me.
But launching a business and running a business, it's NonStop.
It's like twenty four to seven. And because I am
such a perfectionist, I'm like on top of every single thing.
It's hard to let control go. And it's such a
baby brand still that I'm very involved with everything. But
(37:50):
I have a really good team behind me, hard workers,
positive people, like we're like a very strong team and
we're all growing it together. But that's been a challenge.
It's like I don't have any downtime because all my
downtime is Heathery Essentials, Like I'm just that's all I'm
working on now.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
I mean, that's so fun.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Too. I mean, you've had so many different mediums in
your work. So you worked on homes, which also is
like there is an element of beauty and design, but
then you take on your own your own line, you
put your name on it. You're formulating it, like going
to the labs and doing test And was there any
point where you were like, just stop it, stop production.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
I'm not doing it. I'm staying with what I'm safe with.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
It was more after like everything was made, everything was ready,
and I'm like, God, can I do this? And I
think anyone that's like never launched a business like you
and you're starting out like is is it going to
be successful? And plus I have a name, right and
like if it didn't do well, I'm like, that's embarrassing
for me too. And so those are all like real
thoughts that I was having. But at the same time,
(38:56):
my husband, he's an entrepreneur. He is so incredible. He
will get knocked down, he fights back and he's just
it doesn't nothing bothers him, and where I'm like what
is this, then He's like, that's an entrepreneur. Just go
for it. And if we fall down, we get back
up and we figure out like how to make it better,
and we strategize and I'm like, you know what, Okay,
(39:18):
let's do it then, and just having like that motivator
where he's like, it's fine, whatever happens, happens, let's just go.
So he kind of like pushed me to be like,
let's just do it. And I pulled it together and
we launched. Redid it with me. We launched and like
I was like, let's go, and it was like what
a week and we're like, let's go, and we did
it and it all came together.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I think it makes such a difference having someone who
obviously knows you better than anyone else.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
Who's like, go for it. What's the worst.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
The worst thing that can happen is that you don't
even try. Like the product is ready, so what it's
just gonna go.
Speaker 5 (39:52):
To waste, It's gonna sit there expire, and then what Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
If you've already put the money and time into it,
why wantn't you go for it?
Speaker 5 (39:58):
We sell ton, we sell tone, and we ended up
selling thousands and thousands, and I was like, yay, thank god.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
What's your like long term goal for Heather Ray Essentials?
Speaker 5 (40:09):
I want to keep growing it. I have more products
launching in April. So we launched three lip glosses so far,
more products launching the end of April for Mother's Day.
I'm not lip glosses, It'll be something else, and then
I have another lip gloss i' launching for summer, and
then I have more that are ready to go into production,
and then I'm now planning, like what's next. It could
take about a year to really, like once you have
(40:32):
an idea, to come out with a formula and get
everything ready. So I'm starting to plan that. But my
goal is to grow it and just be bigger, make
millions and millions hopefully, and just build relationships with my customers.
And that's the most important to me, is the relationships.
And if someone's not happy like that upsets me so much.
Going back to my you know, but I want my
(40:56):
fans and my customers to love what I put out.
It's quality products, and that was really important to me.
I could have just slapped my name on something and
put it out there, but I wanted it to be
mine and I wanted to like be every step of
the way involved, and that's what I did. So I'm
very proud of it.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
I love that I think people see, especially when there's
a public figure's name attached to something, that they feel
like it Some people do. I think they just here's
my product with my name on it, and there's not
as much intention behind it, I guess, But I do
think there's that feeling when you do it yourself and
(41:32):
you've put the work into it, and you know, you know,
like the ingredients center in what you're putting out.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
It makes you feel proud when it especially when it
does well.
Speaker 5 (41:41):
So proud. Yeah, yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Did you have a brand that you first of all,
what made you want to do a beauty line? And
second well, did you have a brand that you were like,
I love how they're doing this.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
You know, I've really now that I've launched, I'm really
looking at other brands and I'm I'm so proud of
them because i know what it takes and I'm like, wow,
like I'm so impressed by what they did and especially
starting as like a small brand. And yes, I do
have a name, but it's not like I have this
like a ton of money like behind it. You know,
(42:13):
it was a lot of it was just self funded.
So summer Fridays, like I feel like, they did an
incredible job starting with the one product and then really
killing it on that one product, and now they've branched
out with them and their marketing is so amazing. And
I was using a lot of non toxic brands and
(42:35):
I get sent a lot of stuff, you know, obviously,
and I would like try things here and there, and
I was like, I don't this consistency, the color, like,
there's no scent to it, it smells, grows, Oh, it's so toxic.
And so I started like really looking into things and
ingredients and finding out that a lot of brands are
not transparent with what they're using. And I was like
(42:57):
trying ones that I really liked, and I'm like, Okay,
well what are they doing? What don't I like about this?
And I'm like, I really want to create my own wine,
my beauty line. And I've always been passionate about like
skincare and wellness and beauty, and I have my asthetation license,
so I just was like very passionate about the beauty world.
And then my old partner was like, oh, well, why
(43:18):
don't we just white label? And it's not me because
even when brands send me things or I get a
brand deal from my agent, I'm like, I don't believe
in that product. I can't post about it. So that's
very much who I am. Even if they offer a
great amount of money, I'm like, no, I just can't
do that. I can't be fake with it. So I
just wanted to be transparent with my consumers and put
out something that they knew what they were putting on
(43:41):
their body. And that was really important to me.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
I love that. I think it's really hard.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
I've had ideas of wanting to start beauty, hair care
and beauty stuff, and it's so overwhelming to even know
where to begin. So I am so impressed that you
did that on top.
Speaker 3 (43:57):
Of all everything else.
Speaker 5 (43:59):
Thanks finding good people that can help you that are
experts in that department, Like that's what I did. I
had someone that was they had been working with a
bunch of brands, they fulfilled other products, like they knew chemists,
so you know, they helped me align everything. Because I'm
not a chemist. I don't know you know, I don't
know what ingredients go well together. I can I just
(44:21):
know what I like. So it was like testing so
many different consistencies and even the wand like the wand
shape I have is you know, it's not like a
normal wand shape. So it's like testing like so many
wands and the packaging and the ingredients and the stickiness
and the scent. It was like and I wanted the
scent to be natural. I didn't want it to be synthetics.
(44:41):
So it's just a flavor, vanilla flavor, and like finding
the flavor that wasn't synthetic. It was just it was
a lot of work, Yeah, but it was fun. It
was a lot of work and then you see it
all come together and it's so special.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
Well, I love it.
Speaker 5 (44:54):
I mean, thank you.
Speaker 4 (45:11):
Do you have any guilty pleasures? Are you a reality
Do you like reality TV? Do you like script it?
What's your yes? If you're just sitting down to relax,
what are you going for?
Speaker 5 (45:20):
So my husband's out of town this weekend and I
miss him, but it's also my time to like have
like my girl time. Because when you get married or
like you're in a relationship, right like at nights, a
lot of the time you spend with your significant other,
you don't really have a lot of girl time. And
so I'm gonna watch I love the Kardashians and do
my face masks. And then I'm watching Housewives of Beverly
(45:44):
Hills and I was just telling Bree, like I want
to get into like Love Island, but they're also young.
I don't know if I can, are you.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I've watched almost watch Love Island UK season five is
a great one to start if you're like just starting
because it's like just really really good.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Love Island UK Season.
Speaker 5 (46:05):
Eight is also fantastic, So five and eight, five and
eight in the UK, okay, and then.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
USA the last one that just aired. I don't know
what season it.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Was, three or two, two or four.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
The last season of USA that just aired is also
fantastic television.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
But I'd start with one of those three.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Okay, But I will say she's been trying to me
watch it forever, and she said to UK season five.
I tried to watch it three times, like I had
to restart three.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Times because I couldn't get into it.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
I feel like Heather and.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
I, yeah, I'm gonna watch it. I'm gonna tell you, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I mean it's a it's an investment because it's like
sixty something episodes.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
It's a lot, but like it's easy TV.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
So it's like you can watch it in the background
and like you can go rush your teeth, you can
put a fit. You don't have to be like you
know what I mean, you have to pay ten so
much attention. Yeah, it is amazing. Yeah, yeah, I love reality.
Speaker 5 (46:57):
I stopped watching Selling Sunset, not because of any reason,
but I was like, I'm not on it anymore. But
I love reality. I love the Kardashians.
Speaker 7 (47:06):
I do Wait, it was your favorite of the kardashianss
Oh gosh, I say Chloe. Yeah, yeah, she's just like
they're all like great, but I love what.
Speaker 5 (47:17):
Kind of mom she is. She just has good energy
and good vibes.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
I was thinking, So, when was Selling Sunset your first
time being on TV.
Speaker 5 (47:26):
Yeah. I had done modeling and I had done some acting,
like had acting roles, but it was my first time
doing reality. And I had no idea, like no idea
what I was doing because I'm not like a calculated
like a lot of reality stars. I feel like they're
very calculated, and I was like, I'm not calculated person
at all, and I just kind of went into it.
I was just myself and it was Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Was it hard or weird to watch herself on TV
or I guess if you were in the acting world
and modeling world, you re used to seeing your face.
But but I was on The Bachelor like years ago,
and I could bear watch the episodes that I was on.
Speaker 5 (48:02):
I think for me it was like a teaching moment
because especially now with the flip off and the flipping
al musas, It's like, I like to watch myself because
I'm like, oh, I could have done better talking about
what I was doing to the house, or I could
have done better explaining to the audience, because you know,
we're teaching. That's good that, Yeah, I need more of
(48:22):
that because I'm like, I learned from myself, so I'm
like I could do better, like I could be better.
And so I like watching myself back because I know
I can improve myself because I take it very serious.
I love being on TV and I'm so grateful for
the opportunity of that I've been given, and I love
what I do. So I just I enjoy watching myself
(48:45):
and I love seeing my husband and I film together.
It's I think we make great TV. I really do,
and it's not easy to do bring two different people
together and make really good TV. And then you know,
add Christina and like, we our show is so good
and I'm so proud of it that I I was
so excited to watch it selling Sunset. I wasn't a
co producer. We don't really know what's going to be
(49:05):
put out there. There was a lot of times that,
you know, things happen. I'm like, h what happened like that?
You know, So there's a lot that you don't have
control of and it's very nerve wracking, where my show
I have a lot more control.
Speaker 4 (49:20):
Yeah, that's a relief.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Yeah, I imagine My last question for you.
Speaker 4 (49:24):
I don't know if you've seen the trend where.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
People like, like, what would you tell your younger self?
Speaker 5 (49:28):
Oh, what would you tell the coffee?
Speaker 2 (49:31):
Well, I mean that's the concept. Yeah, what would you
tell sixteen year old Heather?
Speaker 5 (49:36):
I would probably tell her stop worrying so much and
everything will come together.
Speaker 4 (49:43):
Were you a warrior?
Speaker 5 (49:45):
I'm a warrior. I still am. My dad's a worrier. Okay, yeah,
I'm like I just am. I'm like a preparer. I'm
a warrior. I'm you know, that's just who I am.
Speaker 4 (49:52):
Are you are you? Do you have siblings? I have
a sister older, younger.
Speaker 5 (49:56):
Older, Okay, yeah we're very different.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Yeah yeah second young is child you give older child.
Speaker 5 (50:02):
And yeah, I'm like, I'm like a mom mom.
Speaker 4 (50:07):
Yeah you've always been a mom before you even were mom. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (50:09):
I want to be like free and chill and like whatever.
I'm just not that person.
Speaker 4 (50:13):
That's okay.
Speaker 5 (50:14):
I think acknowledges that I'm just not like I just
I am who I am.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
I can't think acknowledging.
Speaker 4 (50:19):
That is the freedom.
Speaker 5 (50:20):
Yeah, for true I like that.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, where can people follow you and see content and
all the things that you're doing?
Speaker 5 (50:27):
Yes, okay, let me try to remember. So I'm for Instagram,
I'm the Heather rail Musa. My TikTok is Heather rail Musa,
Heather just Heather rail Musa, and then Heather I Essentials
is Heather I Essentials, and then on TikTok it's Heather
dot ray dot Essentials.
Speaker 4 (50:44):
Perfect. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you
so much opening up and being vulnerable.
Speaker 5 (50:50):
We so appreciate It's very fun.
Speaker 3 (50:52):
Thank you,
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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