June 9, 2025 • 42 mins
Tori is screaming S-T-E-L-L-A as her first daughter turns 17 and gets her driver’s license!
PS: Tori is not okay.
Miss Spelling opens up (and gets a little teary) about watching her baby girl, Buggy, turn into Miss Independent. From the proud mom moments to the quiet heartbreak of letting go, Tori reflects on the bittersweet beauty of raising a strong teen — and why this milestone hit harder than she expected.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Misspelling with Tori spelling an iHeartRadio podcast. You guys, huge,
huge milestone in this household. Today is my daughter's birthday.
It's Stella's birthday. Happy birthday, baby, sorry O.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Happy birthday, Sa.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And something really big happened. If I say it out loud,
it's true, Stella. I'm gonna close my eyes because it's
hard for this mom's say it. Stella got her driver's license.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh my god, amazing. Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I have mixed emotions. I think it's okay to say
that as a mom. I am so proud of this
human I can't even express words.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
But oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
So I have five kids. As you guys know, Stella
is my oldest daughter. I remember being pregnant with her
and we had a fung shwe guy. David was his name.
I was pregnant with her. I had Liam. Liam was
(01:28):
my firstborn. They are fifteen months apart, and we were
filming our show, our reality show, Tori and Dean and
we our first home we had just bought, and we
brought him on to do this fung shwe and he
was like, you're carrying a daughter. I was like, okay, David,
(01:51):
did you google me?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
You know?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Everyone knows this because we found out with our first two.
We found out and then you know, a boy and
a girl. We kind of had the surprise with Hattie, Finn,
and and bo I did find out, but Hattie and
Finn were total surprises. But he was like, you're carrying
(02:14):
a daughter and I was like yes, and he was like,
oh boy, and I was like what no pun intended,
Oh boy, no, David, it's a girl. But he turned
to Dean and he was like, oh Dad, you're gonna
have your hands full. And I was like tell me,
and he's like, she is going to be the one.
(02:38):
She is gonna challenge you guys, you're gonna always butt heads.
But she's going to be strong, she's gonna be independent.
She is going to be her own human. And it's
interesting because I call her Buggy lady bug, and I
(02:58):
think we all come up with names for our kiddos
when they're born. Just something comes to us, Like Liam,
who's eighteen now, I still call monkey and he allows
me to grateful and it came out of nowhere. Like
he was like always in his little jumping thing and
he'd be like.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Jump jump, jump jump, and I was like always like
a little monkey.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Jump dump jump, So monkey was it, and I don't know.
Lady Bug when she came out, she was I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I was just like Ladybug.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
And to this day she has everything Ladybugs. She's she's
still She just made a memory box with her best
friend Cora, and she was like, look, mom, first of all.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Memory box, Oh my god, it's starting.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
What was the thing that girls' parents used to make
for their for their kids, and this is archaic when
they would go on to get married, they would have
this box.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
They would guys know what I'm talking about. It was
almost like a chest, like a hope chest.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yes, it was that, and then it had other names
and it was kind of like when you got married,
the parents would give this to you and your.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Husband at the time because this is going way back,
you know.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And yeah, so she started making her memory box and
she good things. You know, I have everything and anything,
as you guys know first and storage, but now in boxes,
so I don't know where anything is. So good things
she's planning, but she had lady Bugs in there.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So yeah, lady Bug.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Was her thing, and then it turned into Buggy and
then you know, it takes all different forms when you
have a nickname, and like in my phone, she's under Bugita,
like my Bugita. I don't know, but that's my Buggy
and was very much I would say he's totally like
(05:05):
my kid now, but he was my first and he
definitely gravitated towards Dean. And you know, as a mom,
a first time mom, I was like, oh, like I
would sometimes walk into his room, you know, when he
was a baby, like two or something, to put him down,
and he would cry and be like no, dad, And I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Like his first word was dad, like daddad.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
And as a first time mom and Dean had had
a son from has a son from his first marriage,
I was like, oh, my.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Heart is crushed.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
But he always was like a daddy's boy. Now he's
a mama's boy. But yeah, So when Buggy was born, though,
oh my goodness, you know they always say daddy's little girl. Now,
she was all mama like from jump. And she was
also the type that, oh my god, she's gonna hate me.
(06:03):
Hopefully she won't listen to this. She was also the
type like Liam was like the zen baby. In fact,
he came out with sleeping. He came out sleeping and
they had to you know, do the thing when they
spank their butt and like get them going, and they're like, okay,
he's fine, he's fine.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Stella came out screaming.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I have a picture of her as they like brought
her up to me and she's just like ah, screaming.
And it's so interesting because she with Liam, we we
had a good night. I think maybe firstborn's this is
always the case, Like it's like the universe being like, here,
(06:48):
we threw you a good egg, so you'll.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Keep pro creating and have more.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Because Liam, like we were like Dan and I were like,
we're not going to change being.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Who we are.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
We don't want to be like, oh, we're all baby
and we're going to stop our lives. We hope that
we can incorporate the baby into our lives so we
can still you know, have a life. And you know,
we were kind of still in the honeymoon period. We
got pregnant with Liam. I think six months after we
(07:19):
were together, so nine months. I might be screwing this up,
but anyway, Liam was the type of baby that we
could bring him in his carrier first of all, when
he was two and a half months old. We had
a job opportunity with Tory and Dean to go to
London and film there and do some shows. And everyone
(07:45):
was like, I'm sure you don't want to do this.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Your baby's two and.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
A half months and I was like, well, working parents,
you know, you got to strike while the iron's hot.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And the baby's new. No, I don't know. We did it.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And I just member being on a plane and it
was what eleven hours and oh my.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
God, what was his name?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Uh? Colombo, Peter Fox, I'm pretty sure it was him.
But we got on the plane with our newborn and
it was one of those fancy planes like you know
that had like two levels and like a bar on
top of you know I'm talking about. I don't know
if that exists anymore. Nah, but he literally saw us
(08:34):
walk in with a newborn, and I'll never forget. We
walk on and we had our baby nurse with us. Patsy,
who everyone knows is like a second mother to me
and a grandma to Grandma, a second grandma to my kids.
We walked on and we remember that he was like
(08:57):
he literally looked at us.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I guess with one eye. I didn't know he had
only one eye.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, pushed the button for the flight attendant and they
came and he's like, can I be moved because he
was like, oh, I don't want to do this flight
with a baby, a newborn, So anyway, I'm sure, lovely man.
It was nothing against us. He wanted some peace and
(09:26):
quiet and he thought, oh, here comes a newborn and
they're sitting right near me.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
So he got.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Moved to the second floor of this fancy ass plane.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Anyway, The ironic thing is Liam went to sleep and slept.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
The entire flight.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Like people were praising us, like, oh my gosh, we
didn't even know there was a baby on a plane.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
What was that Snakes on a Plane? God, I love
that movie.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Anyway, we didn't know there was a baby on the plane.
Like he's so well behaved and we're like, thank you.
And anyway, we went to Europe and met Gordon Ramsay
for the first time, worked with him and he was like,
I got to set you up and one of his
restaurants and it was like literally ten o'clock at night
(10:23):
was the Rezo. I'm like, oh man, well, we took Liam.
He went to sleep. We had his little like carrier
covered him up and he slept through dinner. And it
was always like that, Like I remember being at Hamburger
Mary's and this is a very famous gay bar in
(10:47):
West Hollywood and Tory and Dean we had one of
our rap parties there and obviously we brought Liam and
just had him in there, and yeah, it's like, what
was that movie? Reese Witherspoon was like, oh, look at you.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You have a baby in a bar. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Anyhow, I always think about that and I'm like, yeah,
that was me. So my personality, new mom, and I
have a baby in a gay bar. Hello, welcome to
my world. So on brand.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
And he was totally quiet.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Anyway, I'm telling the story because we were like, we
didn't adjust our lives around the baby because we brought
him everywhere and he was super great and super quiet and.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Just such an easy, easy baby.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Patsy, our baby nurse, had taken care of hundreds of babies,
and she was like she still says to this day,
Liam the best baby, easiest baby I ever had. And
then came sorry, I'm getting back to topic.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
So Stella.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
We were like, oh, Stella's here, and we're gonna lead
our lives and first time we went out to dinner,
and I remember we were in westwo Is at Carmines
and it was it was early. It wasn't like ten
o'clock again. It was like, you know, six seven o'clock.
And we have Liam and he's easy, and me and
Dean and we have Stella and we got in there
(12:27):
and she was just like.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Screaming.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
So I'm like, you know, rocking her walking around the
restaurant and we had to leave. We could not eat dinner.
And Dean's like, we're not going out again, like we're
staying home. And I think we stayed home for like
six months. Like what I'm saying is she was not
an easy baby. She cried, she pouted. You like couldn't
(12:52):
even like sleep train, Like what was that?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Like?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
You couldn't do that? You had to carry her around.
You were like dead ass tired. And I'm like, oh
my god, I don't know. If she had been my first,
I might have been like, well, I might have been
one done. Like she was not an easy baby, but
we bonded so hardcore, like she literally never left me,
(13:18):
and it was like she just wanted to be with me.
And I just remember thinking I was so I was
so grateful I had a boy to start with, because
I felt like, and this is public knowledge, and I
love an adore my mom and respect her. But we
had had, you know, a complicated relationship over the years,
(13:42):
and it put in my brain that mothers and daughters
have kind of a complicated thing. So when I found
out I was pregnant with a boy, first, I was like, okay, great,
even though I'm such a girly girl, I was like, okay,
a boy. Yeah, maybe I'm just meant to have boys.
And when I found out I was pregnant with Stella,
(14:03):
I was really nervous because I didn't know what was
gonna happen. And I just remember, I don't know where
this comes from, but I at the time was very
nervous with touch and hugs, and it was out of
even though I'm self professed hugger, like I love hugging people,
(14:27):
but it's like when people would hug me, I'd be
like uncomfortable in my brain, like how long do I
hug for?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Like what do I do?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Like, you know, it was a thing, and I just
remember when I had a girl. And I've written about
this in my books, so it's out there, but I
was like, okay, you know, when she was little, I
just you know, she always wanted to hold me and
hug me, and I'm like, I would hug her and
(14:58):
she'd be holding onto me so hard, and I had
the moments where I was like, this is uncomfortable, and
then I told myself, you know what, I'm going to
push past that, and so I would just hold her
even harder and hugger even deeper until I pushed past
my comfort zone and just we melded together. And anyway,
(15:23):
she's I love all five of my kids. I have
no favorites, but I'm just kidding. Any parent that says
they don't have a favorite is a liar. But no,
I love them all in different ways. They're so unique,
and having five you really get to see the unique
humans they start with and become. But Stella we had
(15:45):
that bond that she kind of oh gosh, Liam made
me a mother literally for the first time, but Stella
made me a mom, a mom that really I feel
like she healed on some level some childhood trauma that
(16:08):
was just in my own head. It wasn't even a
real thing anyway. We always had that really really special bond.
But Buggy was always the type. You know, she cried
a lot, she screamed, She was not easy and was oblivious,
oblivious to everything. You know, when you're teaching your kids, Okay,
(16:30):
we're going to cross the street now, you know, look
both ways. You teach them, you know, Liam on point.
And it's like Stella had her head in the clouds always.
And I was always like, gosh, I'm super worried about
Buggy in the future because we've told her a million
times look.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Both ways, and she'd just be like la la la
la la. We literally would be like, oh, Buggy, la
la la la la.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Anyway, cut into the future, here's Buggy and Buggy is
what David the fun Shue guy said. She's definitely a Gemini.
She has the kindest heart, but she will argue a
point to the point where you're like, I'm not even
sure what we're talking about. I always tell her, like, God,
you'd be a great lawyer because you'll have a conversation
(17:18):
and if she sees it one way, she will just go,
go go. And he also said, like she's gonna not
only stand up for herself, but for other people. I
remember what I'm saying like she could be in politics,
this girl. And I was like wow, and she was
just like my little buggy and so oblivious and so sweet.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I always got this like she'd.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Come home from school in preschool and be like, no
one likes me, no one wants to play with me,
recurring this one on and on into school.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
She had anxiety.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
She went through a lot of bullying at one point
that we've talked about and overcame it. But you know,
I would to the teacher, I'd be like, mama Bear,
I'd be like, my kid says, she's not included. She's
you know, you know, if they're playing a game, like
you know, she is just left out and that's not okay.
And they were like, we don't know the child you're
(18:14):
talking about. Like she every kid likes her, she plays
with everyone. And I was always like, what is going on?
And I think it was in her own mind. She
wasn't at the time, she wouldn't put herself forward. Well
cut to this is the most independent human I have
ever met. She is everything along Swaig guy said, which
(18:40):
is wild. But I'm so proud of her. I always joke,
I'm like, Stella, you.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Got out she's like, got out.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
From what I'm like, I don't know, like me, like
I led my I went through my whole life. I'm
fifty two now and I'm just finally learning who I
am and discovering and trying to elevate and get out
of my own head, my own I led a life
so full of fear that it really like it's kind
(19:14):
of wild. And I vicariously live through Stella because I'm
watching her not become me, and I guess that's a
hard thing to say, but I'm really proud of it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And while we're so alike.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
People meet us and I were like, oh my god,
you guys are the same human like, same humor. You
guys talklike like we finish sentences like it's crazy. And
everyone says, don't be best friends with your kid, Well,
that kid's my best friend, not ashamed like and she
(19:53):
would say the same, but she's so not me, and
I'm so proud of that. And you know, emotionally, I'm
proud that I babied her and I was there for
her and all about feelings because I felt like in
my home growing up, we didn't talk. It was a
(20:14):
different time, like you know, my parents were awesome and
I had a great childhood, but feelings wasn't something we
all talked about, and so.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I made sure that that was different.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
And you know, Dean came from a family that didn't
really talk about feelings, so emotionally again, I felt like, I.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
You know, you don't get a manual. We know that.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
But I healed myself through being something different that I
wanted for her that I wish I had had for myself,
if that makes sense. So I always talked about emotions
to the point where I was like, probably too much
like open and one, like talk to me, what's going on. No,
(21:03):
I'm proud of that. Anyway, this human is like next level.
She she went through bullying, she came out on the
other side. She's like getting straight a's in school. The
(21:24):
world is her oyster. So I'm so corny, but literally
like this is the one. This is the one that's
gonna leave home and never come back. And you know
what I mean, they always come back. It'll be really
hard for me, but I'm so happy that she leads
her life differently. Like we go out and I'm a
(21:46):
people pleaser, right and I'm trying to be a reformed
people pleaser. I'm working on it, you know. Brian calls
me Tory two point zero, except the other day he
was like, hurry it up, You're like one point five, now,
come on, get there, and I'm like, yeah, I'm on it.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I'm on the road.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
But Stella like, we would go somewhere. And I always
want everyone to like me. It's like my theme in life,
you know, because of who my dad was, and nine
O two one zero. I go to a fault like
I you know, I'm not just nice to people like
I go it's like too much almost, and that to
(22:28):
me thinks I just want to please everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
So Stella, she cuts to the chase, like, we'll.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Go somewhere and if someone like isn't seven eleven, sorry
Rando seven eleven, I'm like the guy wasn't very nice
and he kind of wasn't being fair, and I'm like, okay,
it's okay, everything's fine, and she was like, no, mom,
it's not fine, and.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
She's like.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
That wasn't okay the way you talk to us, And
I'm just like, oh, cringing, this is like a year ago.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
What do you mean, Oh my god, he's going to
recognize me and be like, oh my god, her and
her daughter weren't nice. And she's like, mom, it's great
that you want to be nice. You are nice. You're
kind to a fault, but it's okay when there's injustice,
it's okay to speak up for yourself. And I'm like,
(23:24):
oh my god. At the time, she was like fifteen.
My god, she's seventeen day, so two years ago I
was just like whoa. So I'm like learning from my kid. Anyway,
she got her driver's license, and she's like a planner,
she is on it. So got her driver's license. She
(23:47):
was I want to say nervous, but not nervous. I
was more nervous than she was. And we went there and.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
She had all her paperwork.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Of course me, I'm like super organized and this is
I need to work on this. But I'm like, uh,
do you have everything? And she's like yep, yep, got it,
got it. She made the appointment everything. I hate the phone.
I'm like terrified to like call the doctor's office and
make an appointment. Stella's like I'll do it, and she's like, hi,
(24:17):
I'm calling, and it's like, oh my god. She's just
in some ways the opposite. She's she's the human I
hope to become one day. But anyway, she had all
the paperwork. We get there and you know, there's that
moment when they're like, okay, mom, you can go, and
we're going in and before that, we're going over everything
(24:38):
and oh my god, there's this thing called smog.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
What's it called? She told me.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Smog. It stands for all the things you're supposed to do?
Do you guys know what I'm talking about, like signal,
all the things you're supposed to the checklist. We did
all the checklist. I'm so I'm so like old school.
I'm like, do you want to practice parallel parking? She's like, Mom,
they don't do that anymore. You just have to literally
(25:06):
back up in a straight line and not hit the curb.
And I'm like, okay, I did learn you to be
eighteen inches from the curb.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
That's protocol.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yeah, but uh yeah, in my day, like and I
got my license, everything's different now, right. I got my
license the day I turned sixteen, I was like, I
want my license. And the kids now, the kids, like
my eighteen year old, you know, he's starting Driver's ed.
But he's cool just to uber, you know, be dropped off.
(25:36):
Like it's a different mentality. Now there's so much availability.
I always called myself, I'm like, I'm an uber driver,
but like Stella. So she did start a little bit late,
but she got it all done. So even though she's seventeen,
she did just get her license. But anyway, all the
checklists did everything, and then they're like, okay, mom, you
(25:57):
can go. Wait, it's gonna be about ten minutes. I
didn't want to put my like panic on her, so
I was like manifest and she's like, I hope I
get it. I'm like, already got it.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
You got it, This already.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Happened, it's done, you have your license. And then of
course like left her with this nice man. So I
go sit on the bench like outside of the DMV
and talked this lovely man and he was like this
older man, and.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
He said, oh, she's so lucky. She got the guy.
She got the.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Instructor, teacher or whoever gives you the license after they
grade you. I don't know, he said, because there's two there.
There's this man and he's super nice and super kind,
and then there's this woman and she's like militant and
by the book, and you know it throws people off
(26:56):
young drivers.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And he's like yeah, he's like.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
So, oh, I felt happy for you when I saw
your daughter got this man because he's like nice, he
looks you in the eye. He makes everyone feel comfortable.
And he's like, my niece got the woman and she
was just like looked down and look me in the eye.
And she goes passenger exit car we're going and he's like,
oh god, he's like so and I said, oh my gosh,
(27:20):
well I hope your niece gets it. And he's like yeah,
He's like, I hope your daughter gets it. I'm like
so we sat there and consoled each other for ten minutes.
I was literally like I took video and still was
like stop taking video before She's like I don't have
makeup on, and I'm like, you love great baby, And
then I'm you know, of course, my whole thing I
(27:42):
did last week. I'm no, no makeup makes us feel comfortable.
And I'm like, I'm not posting this, baby. I just
spit on my zoom screen.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Sorry I got excited.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'm like, I'm not posting this baby. I'm like, this
is just like memory stake, so like I have the
video of like them driving off and.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I'm like there she goes.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Anyway, ten minutes later, I'm sitting there literally like my
stomach is in naught, and I'm already preparing the speech
like it's okay. A lot of people fail the first time,
and you know, you wait, I think two weeks and
is this no big deal? It's just a blip, you know,
on the radar. Anyway, they pull back in and she
(28:27):
gets out of the car and I'm just like smiling,
like what's happening, and she gives me the thumbs.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Up and I was like yes, and she goes, I
got it. I'm like, oh my god, you got it.
I felt like we we got it. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I literally and you know, you guys, I talk about
feelings and like that I have none, which is a lie.
That's a story I've told myself. It's getting old now.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I just start bawling.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And I was like crying so hard. And I'm not
a cryer at all, like grew up thinking like crying
so sign a weakness. And it was just like, oh
my gosh, this feeling of just like so much happiness,
and you know, I said I'm like, oh my god,
you have your license. I literally I go, what do
(29:17):
you want? Like, do you want me uber home?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
You could just drive? And she's like no, no, no, no,
it's kind of far. Let's go together.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
So I'm like okay, okay, And so she drove and
here I am mom sitting in the passenger seat, and
we went to sushi, our favorite sushi restaurant shout out
Shabu yah and had sushi and a mother daughter date,
which is long overdue, you know, because as a mom
(29:47):
of five, sometimes it's hard to not travel as a
unit and we do everything together. But because of that,
you know, I feel bad that some of the kids
don't get one on one with me as much as
I would like them too. It's just I don't have
that luxury right now of being able to do that.
But everyone's in school, and I was able to go
(30:11):
to lunch with her and it was a great lunch.
And then afterwards she was like, Okay, can I borrow
the car? I'm going to go and pick up my friends.
And I was like, okay, baby, yeah, of course, and
she took the car and that was it. That was it,
and I had so many emotions because in that moment,
(30:34):
I like everything changed.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
As proud as I was, it was really like.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
This huge disconnect and it was really like part of
me was being ripped out and just let like hand
it over into the world. And I know, it's not
like she's moved out. It's not like she's going to college.
And she definitely she's the one that's like, you know,
I want to go to college. Luckily she wants to
(31:10):
stay in California, but she wants an apartment. And I'm like,
the college she wants to go to. I'm like, well,
you could drive home, you know, and she's like I could,
but I think I want an apartment. I'm like, okay, yeah,
But she's so independent. I knew this day was coming,
but I really she came home last night and I
(31:32):
just all of a sudden, like she wasn't little Buggy anymore.
And for the first time, I was like, gosh, I
had that feeling that my baby, not that she was gone,
but like, but she was gone.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (31:51):
And I looked at her different, and I looked at
her and I was like, she's this woman, this independent woman,
and it's not like my job is done. But like
I always, We've been best friends forever, but like this
to me was this defining, cut the cord moment where
I viewed her differently. And they always say, like, I
(32:13):
don't know, all of us moms out there have a
different photograph in our head of our babies at a
certain age, like for Stella, it's like Buggy at like
age three, and I see it, and I can see
it right now. But then I look at her and
I was just like, Okay, she's she's my equal.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Now. I don't even feel worthy to say that. She's
like far evolved.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Beyond me, and I was no longer looking down at
my baby. I was looking up at this woman that
this woman that has taught me so much that I
feel like I I never give myself credit, but I
feel like I did a really good job raised her,
instilling really good morals and lead with kindness and.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Be a really good human. But I didn't know how
to instill in her to be the independent human that
she is because I didn't know how to be that person.
No part she figured out on her own. So it's
just hard because I don't know. I feel like.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
It's that's it, Like she's she's off and you know. Sorry,
And I'm saying it like it's a death, but there
is a part. And I don't know if all moms
out there that have children when they hit a certain
age or they leave the nest or they move out.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
That you it's like a grieving process.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
And I'm feeling that grieving process, which I'm beating myself
up about because I'm like, oh my God, be so
proud of her, and.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I would never tell her this. Yeah, I'm telling the
world this.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Oh boy, I have a very dysfunctional life style anyway,
but I'm grieving that baby that's no longer there, and
she'll always be my baby and I call her baby
and she'll be my baby forever. But I'm looking at
her in a very different way now that I never knew.
(34:27):
I'd look at her with new eyes and so much respect.
This is supposed to be a funny story. I'm funny
toy anyway, wiping my tears, but you guys are happy
tears like they're happy. But I think it's okay to say,
(34:49):
I don't know. Mom's out there, Please let us know
what you think of this, because this is kind of
my first baby that's like really independent, hit a milestone.
Tell me if you felt like a grieving process, because
I'm feeling that right now and I don't want to
(35:10):
hide my feelings, like that's how I feel, So let
me know that I'm all alone here. If this is normal?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Normal? What's normal? Anyway?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
She's seventeen, she has her license. Everything just happened at once.
She's talking to a boy. Oh my god, Oh what's next.
She can do anything. She could be present, she really
could anyway. Now now she's like, mom, let's talk cars.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I'm like, oh boy, here we go. But she's so good.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
She's like, we only have one car, and she's like,
if we can invest in a second car, I can
start to help you when you're working to do.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Pickups, it'll be easier. And I was like, smart girl,
smart girl. Yep.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
So she's saying that if we invest in a second car,
she can do this. But anyway, her dream car is
a Bronco, and little known fact, I've always wanted a Bronco,
like a vintage one, which she weren't vintage vintage cars.
I used to have a collection, of course I did,
(36:34):
but I couldn't fit those in storage. So but yeah,
I've always been a car collector like vintage cars, loved
empty cars, and Stella shares that passion with me, so
we always talk pickup trucks.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
And I'm like, oh my god, I you know, I
used to have a fifty four Chevy bel Air. I
had a fifty fifty five. No, I had a fifty
four Chevy pickup I had.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I think I had a fifty six Chevy bel Air.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Oh God. Anyway, I'm always like, oh baby, so.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
My car that I had, which was this fifty four
Chevy pickup which Stella loves vintage pickups, and this like
this turquoise kind of color.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I actually I showed her pictures and she's like, oh
my gosh, that would be my.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
One of my dream cars. I actually was like, how
do I find this car? Like I want to reach
out to this person. And then I remembered in my
you know, one hundred and eighty five thousand emails that
I've never cleaned up this whole other story that at
some point the owner of it had emailed me and said,
(37:50):
I don't know if this is true, but we saw
your name as one of the past owners was on
the Vin slip or whatever.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
And I was like, yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
And now she's like, my son has it and they
live in the Midwest, I think, and it's in all
kinds of car shows and everything. Very it's like very famous,
this this Chevy pickup. But about a year ago one
time I was thinking ahead. I reached out and I said,
(38:19):
would you ever consider selling it back to us? Because
my daughter, this is before.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
She was like fifteen. I was like, no, sixteen.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I was like, she's in the process or got her permit,
she's going to get her license, and this would be
so special if we could make this her first car
because it meant so much to me. It was a
big part of my you know, my twenties, my formative years,
and you know when I just started you know, nine
(38:50):
or two one zero and done it like it was
one of the first cars that I bought on my own,
and like, I don't know, and they were really nice
and said, we'll keep in touch. But I guess the
car's doing so well in car shows they're like, we're
not selling this car, but yeah, so I'm hopefully going
(39:10):
to be able to get back back one day so
I can get it to sell it anyway, So she
wants a Bronco and that was always one of my
dream cars. But like a vintage Bronco, like from the eighties,
like and anyway, I talk to everybody and they're like,
her first car, you really don't want to get like
a vintage car because you know the repair and if
(39:32):
something happens and it breaks down, it's not so easy
and getting it fixed and it's just not as it's
not as safe. It's like a second car. So anyway,
so now I'm stuck having to try to find a
newish Bronco, like I used Bronco but like you know,
two thousand and like twenty one, twenty two, So if
(39:55):
you know anyone who knows anyone, then might be willing
to sell a bra we're looking. And then I was like, oh,
because Ruthanna has a Bronco, right, but.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
She doesn't want yours. You can't have mine?
Speaker 1 (40:09):
No, But she I was like, oh, you know, like
ruth Ane's time and she's like, no, not the sport.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I need the four I need. This girl can talk
me into anything.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
She's like, it's better to transport more children if I
can get the four door. It's easier to get bow
in and out if it's you know, booster and all
that and groceries.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Smart girl.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
She has an answer for everything, and like even if
you know the right thing, she'll talk you around and
you're like, oh, she's right.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I don't even know what just happened. Chip off the.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Old block anyway. So yeah, so our next step is
getting the car. So we're looking and she's so funny.
She's like been doing all this research. She's like Facebook,
Marketplace and like all this, and like, yeah, we can
just put an offer in and get the car. I'm like, no, no,
I think we're supposed to go look and ask questions
(41:07):
and I'm supposed to like check the dungeine, check the oil.
I don't know, oh god, how many miles you know?
And she's just like, no, it looks great, let's buy it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I'm like, okay, slow your role.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
But yeah, so that's the next thing we're doing. Oh
it's my baby's birthday, so wish Stella a happy birthday
on Instagram and don't tell her we had this conversation.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Because we're like, moment's so embarrasing, just kidding, Happy birthday
to her. And she has her license and my god,
life just moves so fast. God, you blink and they're grown.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
It's true Happy Birthday, Buggy,
Misspelling with Tori spelling an iHeartRadio podcast. You guys, huge,
huge milestone in this household. Today is my daughter's birthday.
It's Stella's birthday. Happy birthday, baby, sorry O.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Happy birthday, Sa.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
And something really big happened. If I say it out loud,
it's true, Stella. I'm gonna close my eyes because it's
hard for this mom's say it. Stella got her driver's license.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh my god, amazing. Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I have mixed emotions. I think it's okay to say
that as a mom. I am so proud of this
human I can't even express words.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
But oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
So I have five kids. As you guys know, Stella
is my oldest daughter. I remember being pregnant with her
and we had a fung shwe guy. David was his name.
I was pregnant with her. I had Liam. Liam was
(01:28):
my firstborn. They are fifteen months apart, and we were
filming our show, our reality show, Tori and Dean and
we our first home we had just bought, and we
brought him on to do this fung shwe and he
was like, you're carrying a daughter. I was like, okay, David,
(01:51):
did you google me?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
You know?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Everyone knows this because we found out with our first two.
We found out and then you know, a boy and
a girl. We kind of had the surprise with Hattie, Finn,
and and bo I did find out, but Hattie and
Finn were total surprises. But he was like, you're carrying
(02:14):
a daughter and I was like yes, and he was like,
oh boy, and I was like what no pun intended,
Oh boy, no, David, it's a girl. But he turned
to Dean and he was like, oh Dad, you're gonna
have your hands full. And I was like tell me,
and he's like, she is going to be the one.
(02:38):
She is gonna challenge you guys, you're gonna always butt heads.
But she's going to be strong, she's gonna be independent.
She is going to be her own human. And it's
interesting because I call her Buggy lady bug, and I
(02:58):
think we all come up with names for our kiddos
when they're born. Just something comes to us, Like Liam,
who's eighteen now, I still call monkey and he allows
me to grateful and it came out of nowhere. Like
he was like always in his little jumping thing and
he'd be like.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Jump jump, jump jump, and I was like always like
a little monkey.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Jump dump jump, So monkey was it, and I don't know.
Lady Bug when she came out, she was I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I was just like Ladybug.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
And to this day she has everything Ladybugs. She's she's
still She just made a memory box with her best
friend Cora, and she was like, look, mom, first of all.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Memory box, Oh my god, it's starting.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
What was the thing that girls' parents used to make
for their for their kids, and this is archaic when
they would go on to get married, they would have
this box.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
They would guys know what I'm talking about. It was
almost like a chest, like a hope chest.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yes, it was that, and then it had other names
and it was kind of like when you got married,
the parents would give this to you and your.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Husband at the time because this is going way back,
you know.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
And yeah, so she started making her memory box and
she good things. You know, I have everything and anything,
as you guys know first and storage, but now in boxes,
so I don't know where anything is. So good things
she's planning, but she had lady Bugs in there.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So yeah, lady Bug.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Was her thing, and then it turned into Buggy and
then you know, it takes all different forms when you
have a nickname, and like in my phone, she's under Bugita,
like my Bugita. I don't know, but that's my Buggy
and was very much I would say he's totally like
(05:05):
my kid now, but he was my first and he
definitely gravitated towards Dean. And you know, as a mom,
a first time mom, I was like, oh, like I
would sometimes walk into his room, you know, when he
was a baby, like two or something, to put him down,
and he would cry and be like no, dad, And I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Like his first word was dad, like daddad.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
And as a first time mom and Dean had had
a son from has a son from his first marriage,
I was like, oh, my.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Heart is crushed.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
But he always was like a daddy's boy. Now he's
a mama's boy. But yeah, So when Buggy was born, though,
oh my goodness, you know they always say daddy's little girl. Now,
she was all mama like from jump. And she was
also the type that, oh my god, she's gonna hate me.
(06:03):
Hopefully she won't listen to this. She was also the
type like Liam was like the zen baby. In fact,
he came out with sleeping. He came out sleeping and
they had to you know, do the thing when they
spank their butt and like get them going, and they're like, okay,
he's fine, he's fine.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Stella came out screaming.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I have a picture of her as they like brought
her up to me and she's just like ah, screaming.
And it's so interesting because she with Liam, we we
had a good night. I think maybe firstborn's this is
always the case, Like it's like the universe being like, here,
(06:48):
we threw you a good egg, so you'll.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Keep pro creating and have more.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Because Liam, like we were like Dan and I were like,
we're not going to change being.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Who we are.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
We don't want to be like, oh, we're all baby
and we're going to stop our lives. We hope that
we can incorporate the baby into our lives so we
can still you know, have a life. And you know,
we were kind of still in the honeymoon period. We
got pregnant with Liam. I think six months after we
(07:19):
were together, so nine months. I might be screwing this up,
but anyway, Liam was the type of baby that we
could bring him in his carrier first of all, when
he was two and a half months old. We had
a job opportunity with Tory and Dean to go to
London and film there and do some shows. And everyone
(07:45):
was like, I'm sure you don't want to do this.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Your baby's two and.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
A half months and I was like, well, working parents,
you know, you got to strike while the iron's hot.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And the baby's new. No, I don't know. We did it.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And I just member being on a plane and it
was what eleven hours and oh my.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
God, what was his name?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Uh? Colombo, Peter Fox, I'm pretty sure it was him.
But we got on the plane with our newborn and
it was one of those fancy planes like you know
that had like two levels and like a bar on
top of you know I'm talking about. I don't know
if that exists anymore. Nah, but he literally saw us
(08:34):
walk in with a newborn, and I'll never forget. We
walk on and we had our baby nurse with us. Patsy,
who everyone knows is like a second mother to me
and a grandma to Grandma, a second grandma to my kids.
We walked on and we remember that he was like
(08:57):
he literally looked at us.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I guess with one eye. I didn't know he had
only one eye.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, pushed the button for the flight attendant and they
came and he's like, can I be moved because he
was like, oh, I don't want to do this flight
with a baby, a newborn, So anyway, I'm sure, lovely man.
It was nothing against us. He wanted some peace and
(09:26):
quiet and he thought, oh, here comes a newborn and
they're sitting right near me.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
So he got.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Moved to the second floor of this fancy ass plane.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Anyway, The ironic thing is Liam went to sleep and slept.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
The entire flight.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Like people were praising us, like, oh my gosh, we
didn't even know there was a baby on a plane.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
What was that Snakes on a Plane? God, I love
that movie.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Anyway, we didn't know there was a baby on the plane.
Like he's so well behaved and we're like, thank you.
And anyway, we went to Europe and met Gordon Ramsay
for the first time, worked with him and he was like,
I got to set you up and one of his
restaurants and it was like literally ten o'clock at night
(10:23):
was the Rezo. I'm like, oh man, well, we took Liam.
He went to sleep. We had his little like carrier
covered him up and he slept through dinner. And it
was always like that, Like I remember being at Hamburger
Mary's and this is a very famous gay bar in
(10:47):
West Hollywood and Tory and Dean we had one of
our rap parties there and obviously we brought Liam and
just had him in there, and yeah, it's like, what
was that movie? Reese Witherspoon was like, oh, look at you.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
You have a baby in a bar. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Anyhow, I always think about that and I'm like, yeah,
that was me. So my personality, new mom, and I
have a baby in a gay bar. Hello, welcome to
my world. So on brand.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
And he was totally quiet.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Anyway, I'm telling the story because we were like, we
didn't adjust our lives around the baby because we brought
him everywhere and he was super great and super quiet and.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Just such an easy, easy baby.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Patsy, our baby nurse, had taken care of hundreds of babies,
and she was like she still says to this day,
Liam the best baby, easiest baby I ever had. And
then came sorry, I'm getting back to topic.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
So Stella.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
We were like, oh, Stella's here, and we're gonna lead
our lives and first time we went out to dinner,
and I remember we were in westwo Is at Carmines
and it was it was early. It wasn't like ten
o'clock again. It was like, you know, six seven o'clock.
And we have Liam and he's easy, and me and
Dean and we have Stella and we got in there
(12:27):
and she was just like.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Screaming.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
So I'm like, you know, rocking her walking around the
restaurant and we had to leave. We could not eat dinner.
And Dean's like, we're not going out again, like we're
staying home. And I think we stayed home for like
six months. Like what I'm saying is she was not
an easy baby. She cried, she pouted. You like couldn't
(12:52):
even like sleep train, Like what was that?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Like?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
You couldn't do that? You had to carry her around.
You were like dead ass tired. And I'm like, oh
my god, I don't know. If she had been my first,
I might have been like, well, I might have been
one done. Like she was not an easy baby, but
we bonded so hardcore, like she literally never left me,
(13:18):
and it was like she just wanted to be with me.
And I just remember thinking I was so I was
so grateful I had a boy to start with, because
I felt like, and this is public knowledge, and I
love an adore my mom and respect her. But we
had had, you know, a complicated relationship over the years,
(13:42):
and it put in my brain that mothers and daughters
have kind of a complicated thing. So when I found
out I was pregnant with a boy, first, I was like, okay, great,
even though I'm such a girly girl, I was like, okay,
a boy. Yeah, maybe I'm just meant to have boys.
And when I found out I was pregnant with Stella,
(14:03):
I was really nervous because I didn't know what was
gonna happen. And I just remember, I don't know where
this comes from, but I at the time was very
nervous with touch and hugs, and it was out of
even though I'm self professed hugger, like I love hugging people,
(14:27):
but it's like when people would hug me, I'd be
like uncomfortable in my brain, like how long do I
hug for?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Like what do I do?
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Like, you know, it was a thing, and I just
remember when I had a girl. And I've written about
this in my books, so it's out there, but I
was like, okay, you know, when she was little, I
just you know, she always wanted to hold me and
hug me, and I'm like, I would hug her and
(14:58):
she'd be holding onto me so hard, and I had
the moments where I was like, this is uncomfortable, and
then I told myself, you know what, I'm going to
push past that, and so I would just hold her
even harder and hugger even deeper until I pushed past
my comfort zone and just we melded together. And anyway,
(15:23):
she's I love all five of my kids. I have
no favorites, but I'm just kidding. Any parent that says
they don't have a favorite is a liar. But no,
I love them all in different ways. They're so unique,
and having five you really get to see the unique
humans they start with and become. But Stella we had
(15:45):
that bond that she kind of oh gosh, Liam made
me a mother literally for the first time, but Stella
made me a mom, a mom that really I feel
like she healed on some level some childhood trauma that
(16:08):
was just in my own head. It wasn't even a
real thing anyway. We always had that really really special bond.
But Buggy was always the type. You know, she cried
a lot, she screamed, She was not easy and was oblivious,
oblivious to everything. You know, when you're teaching your kids, Okay,
(16:30):
we're going to cross the street now, you know, look
both ways. You teach them, you know, Liam on point.
And it's like Stella had her head in the clouds always.
And I was always like, gosh, I'm super worried about
Buggy in the future because we've told her a million
times look.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Both ways, and she'd just be like la la la
la la. We literally would be like, oh, Buggy, la
la la la la.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Anyway, cut into the future, here's Buggy and Buggy is
what David the fun Shue guy said. She's definitely a Gemini.
She has the kindest heart, but she will argue a
point to the point where you're like, I'm not even
sure what we're talking about. I always tell her, like, God,
you'd be a great lawyer because you'll have a conversation
(17:18):
and if she sees it one way, she will just go,
go go. And he also said, like she's gonna not
only stand up for herself, but for other people. I
remember what I'm saying like she could be in politics,
this girl. And I was like wow, and she was
just like my little buggy and so oblivious and so sweet.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I always got this like she'd.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Come home from school in preschool and be like, no
one likes me, no one wants to play with me,
recurring this one on and on into school.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
She had anxiety.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
She went through a lot of bullying at one point
that we've talked about and overcame it. But you know,
I would to the teacher, I'd be like, mama Bear,
I'd be like, my kid says, she's not included. She's
you know, you know, if they're playing a game, like
you know, she is just left out and that's not okay.
And they were like, we don't know the child you're
(18:14):
talking about. Like she every kid likes her, she plays
with everyone. And I was always like, what is going on?
And I think it was in her own mind. She
wasn't at the time, she wouldn't put herself forward. Well
cut to this is the most independent human I have
ever met. She is everything along Swaig guy said, which
(18:40):
is wild. But I'm so proud of her. I always joke,
I'm like, Stella, you.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Got out she's like, got out.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
From what I'm like, I don't know, like me, like
I led my I went through my whole life. I'm
fifty two now and I'm just finally learning who I
am and discovering and trying to elevate and get out
of my own head, my own I led a life
so full of fear that it really like it's kind
(19:14):
of wild. And I vicariously live through Stella because I'm
watching her not become me, and I guess that's a
hard thing to say, but I'm really proud of it.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
And while we're so alike.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
People meet us and I were like, oh my god,
you guys are the same human like, same humor. You
guys talklike like we finish sentences like it's crazy. And
everyone says, don't be best friends with your kid, Well,
that kid's my best friend, not ashamed like and she
(19:53):
would say the same, but she's so not me, and
I'm so proud of that. And you know, emotionally, I'm
proud that I babied her and I was there for
her and all about feelings because I felt like in
my home growing up, we didn't talk. It was a
(20:14):
different time, like you know, my parents were awesome and
I had a great childhood, but feelings wasn't something we
all talked about, and so.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I made sure that that was different.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
And you know, Dean came from a family that didn't
really talk about feelings, so emotionally again, I felt like, I.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
You know, you don't get a manual. We know that.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
But I healed myself through being something different that I
wanted for her that I wish I had had for myself,
if that makes sense. So I always talked about emotions
to the point where I was like, probably too much
like open and one, like talk to me, what's going on. No,
(21:03):
I'm proud of that. Anyway, this human is like next level.
She she went through bullying, she came out on the
other side. She's like getting straight a's in school. The
(21:24):
world is her oyster. So I'm so corny, but literally
like this is the one. This is the one that's
gonna leave home and never come back. And you know
what I mean, they always come back. It'll be really
hard for me, but I'm so happy that she leads
her life differently. Like we go out and I'm a
(21:46):
people pleaser, right and I'm trying to be a reformed
people pleaser. I'm working on it, you know. Brian calls
me Tory two point zero, except the other day he
was like, hurry it up, You're like one point five, now,
come on, get there, and I'm like, yeah, I'm on it.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I'm on the road.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
But Stella like, we would go somewhere. And I always
want everyone to like me. It's like my theme in life,
you know, because of who my dad was, and nine
O two one zero. I go to a fault like
I you know, I'm not just nice to people like
I go it's like too much almost, and that to
(22:28):
me thinks I just want to please everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
So Stella, she cuts to the chase, like, we'll.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Go somewhere and if someone like isn't seven eleven, sorry
Rando seven eleven, I'm like the guy wasn't very nice
and he kind of wasn't being fair, and I'm like, okay,
it's okay, everything's fine, and she was like, no, mom,
it's not fine, and.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
She's like.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
That wasn't okay the way you talk to us, And
I'm just like, oh, cringing, this is like a year ago.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
What do you mean, Oh my god, he's going to
recognize me and be like, oh my god, her and
her daughter weren't nice. And she's like, mom, it's great
that you want to be nice. You are nice. You're
kind to a fault, but it's okay when there's injustice,
it's okay to speak up for yourself. And I'm like,
(23:24):
oh my god. At the time, she was like fifteen.
My god, she's seventeen day, so two years ago I
was just like whoa. So I'm like learning from my kid. Anyway,
she got her driver's license, and she's like a planner,
she is on it. So got her driver's license. She
(23:47):
was I want to say nervous, but not nervous. I
was more nervous than she was. And we went there and.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
She had all her paperwork.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Of course me, I'm like super organized and this is
I need to work on this. But I'm like, uh,
do you have everything? And she's like yep, yep, got it,
got it. She made the appointment everything. I hate the phone.
I'm like terrified to like call the doctor's office and
make an appointment. Stella's like I'll do it, and she's like, hi,
(24:17):
I'm calling, and it's like, oh my god. She's just
in some ways the opposite. She's she's the human I
hope to become one day. But anyway, she had all
the paperwork. We get there and you know, there's that
moment when they're like, okay, mom, you can go, and
we're going in and before that, we're going over everything
(24:38):
and oh my god, there's this thing called smog.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
What's it called? She told me.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Smog. It stands for all the things you're supposed to do?
Do you guys know what I'm talking about, like signal,
all the things you're supposed to the checklist. We did
all the checklist. I'm so I'm so like old school.
I'm like, do you want to practice parallel parking? She's like, Mom,
they don't do that anymore. You just have to literally
(25:06):
back up in a straight line and not hit the curb.
And I'm like, okay, I did learn you to be
eighteen inches from the curb.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
That's protocol.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yeah, but uh yeah, in my day, like and I
got my license, everything's different now, right. I got my
license the day I turned sixteen, I was like, I
want my license. And the kids now, the kids, like
my eighteen year old, you know, he's starting Driver's ed.
But he's cool just to uber, you know, be dropped off.
(25:36):
Like it's a different mentality. Now there's so much availability.
I always called myself, I'm like, I'm an uber driver,
but like Stella. So she did start a little bit late,
but she got it all done. So even though she's seventeen,
she did just get her license. But anyway, all the
checklists did everything, and then they're like, okay, mom, you
(25:57):
can go. Wait, it's gonna be about ten minutes. I
didn't want to put my like panic on her, so
I was like manifest and she's like, I hope I
get it. I'm like, already got it.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
You got it, This already.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Happened, it's done, you have your license. And then of
course like left her with this nice man. So I
go sit on the bench like outside of the DMV
and talked this lovely man and he was like this
older man, and.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
He said, oh, she's so lucky. She got the guy.
She got the.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Instructor, teacher or whoever gives you the license after they
grade you. I don't know, he said, because there's two there.
There's this man and he's super nice and super kind,
and then there's this woman and she's like militant and
by the book, and you know it throws people off
(26:56):
young drivers.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And he's like yeah, he's like.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
So, oh, I felt happy for you when I saw
your daughter got this man because he's like nice, he
looks you in the eye. He makes everyone feel comfortable.
And he's like, my niece got the woman and she
was just like looked down and look me in the eye.
And she goes passenger exit car we're going and he's like,
oh god, he's like so and I said, oh my gosh,
(27:20):
well I hope your niece gets it. And he's like yeah,
He's like, I hope your daughter gets it. I'm like
so we sat there and consoled each other for ten minutes.
I was literally like I took video and still was
like stop taking video before She's like I don't have
makeup on, and I'm like, you love great baby, And
then I'm you know, of course, my whole thing I
(27:42):
did last week. I'm no, no makeup makes us feel comfortable.
And I'm like, I'm not posting this, baby. I just
spit on my zoom screen.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Sorry I got excited.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
I'm like, I'm not posting this baby. I'm like, this
is just like memory stake, so like I have the
video of like them driving off and.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I'm like there she goes.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Anyway, ten minutes later, I'm sitting there literally like my
stomach is in naught, and I'm already preparing the speech
like it's okay. A lot of people fail the first time,
and you know, you wait, I think two weeks and
is this no big deal? It's just a blip, you know,
on the radar. Anyway, they pull back in and she
(28:27):
gets out of the car and I'm just like smiling,
like what's happening, and she gives me the thumbs.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Up and I was like yes, and she goes, I
got it. I'm like, oh my god, you got it.
I felt like we we got it. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I literally and you know, you guys, I talk about
feelings and like that I have none, which is a lie.
That's a story I've told myself. It's getting old now.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I just start bawling.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And I was like crying so hard. And I'm not
a cryer at all, like grew up thinking like crying
so sign a weakness. And it was just like, oh
my gosh, this feeling of just like so much happiness,
and you know, I said I'm like, oh my god,
you have your license. I literally I go, what do
(29:17):
you want? Like, do you want me uber home?
Speaker 2 (29:20):
You could just drive? And she's like no, no, no, no,
it's kind of far. Let's go together.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
So I'm like okay, okay, And so she drove and
here I am mom sitting in the passenger seat, and
we went to sushi, our favorite sushi restaurant shout out
Shabu yah and had sushi and a mother daughter date,
which is long overdue, you know, because as a mom
(29:47):
of five, sometimes it's hard to not travel as a
unit and we do everything together. But because of that,
you know, I feel bad that some of the kids
don't get one on one with me as much as
I would like them too. It's just I don't have
that luxury right now of being able to do that.
But everyone's in school, and I was able to go
(30:11):
to lunch with her and it was a great lunch.
And then afterwards she was like, Okay, can I borrow
the car? I'm going to go and pick up my friends.
And I was like, okay, baby, yeah, of course, and
she took the car and that was it. That was it,
and I had so many emotions because in that moment,
(30:34):
I like everything changed.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
As proud as I was, it was really like.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
This huge disconnect and it was really like part of
me was being ripped out and just let like hand
it over into the world. And I know, it's not
like she's moved out. It's not like she's going to college.
And she definitely she's the one that's like, you know,
I want to go to college. Luckily she wants to
(31:10):
stay in California, but she wants an apartment. And I'm like,
the college she wants to go to. I'm like, well,
you could drive home, you know, and she's like I could,
but I think I want an apartment. I'm like, okay, yeah,
But she's so independent. I knew this day was coming,
but I really she came home last night and I
(31:32):
just all of a sudden, like she wasn't little Buggy anymore.
And for the first time, I was like, gosh, I
had that feeling that my baby, not that she was gone,
but like, but she was gone.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (31:51):
And I looked at her different, and I looked at
her and I was like, she's this woman, this independent woman,
and it's not like my job is done. But like
I always, We've been best friends forever, but like this
to me was this defining, cut the cord moment where
I viewed her differently. And they always say, like, I
(32:13):
don't know, all of us moms out there have a
different photograph in our head of our babies at a
certain age, like for Stella, it's like Buggy at like
age three, and I see it, and I can see
it right now. But then I look at her and
I was just like, Okay, she's she's my equal.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Now. I don't even feel worthy to say that. She's
like far evolved.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Beyond me, and I was no longer looking down at
my baby. I was looking up at this woman that
this woman that has taught me so much that I
feel like I I never give myself credit, but I
feel like I did a really good job raised her,
instilling really good morals and lead with kindness and.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Be a really good human. But I didn't know how
to instill in her to be the independent human that
she is because I didn't know how to be that person.
No part she figured out on her own. So it's
just hard because I don't know. I feel like.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
It's that's it, Like she's she's off and you know. Sorry,
And I'm saying it like it's a death, but there
is a part. And I don't know if all moms
out there that have children when they hit a certain
age or they leave the nest or they move out.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
That you it's like a grieving process.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
And I'm feeling that grieving process, which I'm beating myself
up about because I'm like, oh my God, be so
proud of her, and.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I would never tell her this. Yeah, I'm telling the
world this.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Oh boy, I have a very dysfunctional life style anyway,
but I'm grieving that baby that's no longer there, and
she'll always be my baby and I call her baby
and she'll be my baby forever. But I'm looking at
her in a very different way now that I never knew.
(34:27):
I'd look at her with new eyes and so much respect.
This is supposed to be a funny story. I'm funny
toy anyway, wiping my tears, but you guys are happy
tears like they're happy. But I think it's okay to say,
(34:49):
I don't know. Mom's out there, Please let us know
what you think of this, because this is kind of
my first baby that's like really independent, hit a milestone.
Tell me if you felt like a grieving process, because
I'm feeling that right now and I don't want to
(35:10):
hide my feelings, like that's how I feel, So let
me know that I'm all alone here. If this is normal?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Normal? What's normal? Anyway?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
She's seventeen, she has her license. Everything just happened at once.
She's talking to a boy. Oh my god, Oh what's next.
She can do anything. She could be present, she really
could anyway. Now now she's like, mom, let's talk cars.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I'm like, oh boy, here we go. But she's so good.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
She's like, we only have one car, and she's like,
if we can invest in a second car, I can
start to help you when you're working to do.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Pickups, it'll be easier. And I was like, smart girl,
smart girl. Yep.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
So she's saying that if we invest in a second car,
she can do this. But anyway, her dream car is
a Bronco, and little known fact, I've always wanted a Bronco,
like a vintage one, which she weren't vintage vintage cars.
I used to have a collection, of course I did,
(36:34):
but I couldn't fit those in storage. So but yeah,
I've always been a car collector like vintage cars, loved
empty cars, and Stella shares that passion with me, so
we always talk pickup trucks.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
And I'm like, oh my god, I you know, I
used to have a fifty four Chevy bel Air. I
had a fifty fifty five. No, I had a fifty
four Chevy pickup I had.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I think I had a fifty six Chevy bel Air.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Oh God. Anyway, I'm always like, oh baby, so.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
My car that I had, which was this fifty four
Chevy pickup which Stella loves vintage pickups, and this like
this turquoise kind of color.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I actually I showed her pictures and she's like, oh
my gosh, that would be my.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
One of my dream cars. I actually was like, how
do I find this car? Like I want to reach
out to this person. And then I remembered in my
you know, one hundred and eighty five thousand emails that
I've never cleaned up this whole other story that at
some point the owner of it had emailed me and said,
(37:50):
I don't know if this is true, but we saw
your name as one of the past owners was on
the Vin slip or whatever.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
And I was like, yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
And now she's like, my son has it and they
live in the Midwest, I think, and it's in all
kinds of car shows and everything. Very it's like very famous,
this this Chevy pickup. But about a year ago one
time I was thinking ahead. I reached out and I said,
(38:19):
would you ever consider selling it back to us? Because
my daughter, this is before.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
She was like fifteen. I was like, no, sixteen.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I was like, she's in the process or got her permit,
she's going to get her license, and this would be
so special if we could make this her first car
because it meant so much to me. It was a
big part of my you know, my twenties, my formative years,
and you know when I just started you know, nine
(38:50):
or two one zero and done it like it was
one of the first cars that I bought on my own,
and like, I don't know, and they were really nice
and said, we'll keep in touch. But I guess the
car's doing so well in car shows they're like, we're
not selling this car, but yeah, so I'm hopefully going
(39:10):
to be able to get back back one day so
I can get it to sell it anyway, So she
wants a Bronco and that was always one of my
dream cars. But like a vintage Bronco, like from the eighties,
like and anyway, I talk to everybody and they're like,
her first car, you really don't want to get like
a vintage car because you know the repair and if
(39:32):
something happens and it breaks down, it's not so easy
and getting it fixed and it's just not as it's
not as safe. It's like a second car. So anyway,
so now I'm stuck having to try to find a
newish Bronco, like I used Bronco but like you know,
two thousand and like twenty one, twenty two, So if
(39:55):
you know anyone who knows anyone, then might be willing
to sell a bra we're looking. And then I was like, oh,
because Ruthanna has a Bronco, right, but.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
She doesn't want yours. You can't have mine?
Speaker 1 (40:09):
No, But she I was like, oh, you know, like
ruth Ane's time and she's like, no, not the sport.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I need the four I need. This girl can talk
me into anything.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
She's like, it's better to transport more children if I
can get the four door. It's easier to get bow
in and out if it's you know, booster and all
that and groceries.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Smart girl.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
She has an answer for everything, and like even if
you know the right thing, she'll talk you around and
you're like, oh, she's right.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I don't even know what just happened. Chip off the.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Old block anyway. So yeah, so our next step is
getting the car. So we're looking and she's so funny.
She's like been doing all this research. She's like Facebook,
Marketplace and like all this, and like, yeah, we can
just put an offer in and get the car. I'm like, no, no,
I think we're supposed to go look and ask questions
(41:07):
and I'm supposed to like check the dungeine, check the oil.
I don't know, oh god, how many miles you know?
And she's just like, no, it looks great, let's buy it.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
I'm like, okay, slow your role.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
But yeah, so that's the next thing we're doing. Oh
it's my baby's birthday, so wish Stella a happy birthday
on Instagram and don't tell her we had this conversation.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Because we're like, moment's so embarrasing, just kidding, Happy birthday
to her. And she has her license and my god,
life just moves so fast. God, you blink and they're grown.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
It's true Happy Birthday, Buggy,
Hosts And Creators
Tori Spelling
Jennie Garth
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