June 13, 2025 • 37 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re getting into more of your questions! We kick things off with our question of the day: Have you ever gotten tough love from someone? Kathy and Susan give their answers as they reflect on tough love and parenting. Then, we jump into your questions, and our advice is all about the balance of firmness and fairness. We discuss a father who regrets having children, past parenting mistakes, and the chaotic aftermath of getting ghosted. Plus, we end today’s episode with another round of “Red Flag or Red Rose?” Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank
you so much for coming to join us again. Kathy
and I are so excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Always excited to be back. We've had a great week.
Spring has sprung. I was telling you earlier, Susan, I'm
having my house spit shine for the spring. I mean,
I'm not here, I'm having things.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Isn't it a great feeling?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It is like the guy that's doing he's powerwashing my deck.
He's staining, restaining in my deck. He was up there
cleaning the ceiling fan. He goes, when was the last
time this ceiling fan was clean. I said, I've lived
in this house seventeen years. He goes, when was the
last time was clean? I said, seventeen years ago.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You're cleaning. Lady doesn't do that.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
The ceiling fan outside on the porch outside, it's a
ceiling fan on my on my covered porch. So no,
she doesn't.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Because I was going to say, why is he in
the house, because what oh no, no, no, he's powerwashing.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
And then come yeah, now we're not power washing in
the house. However, can I just say by PSA for
today is when you powerwash your house and near the windows.
Unless you have hermetically sealed windows, you better be falling
around with a towel because there's gonna be water on
your floor. Okay, today, not only we talk about spring cleaning,
but we're going to be answering some of your fan questions.
(01:22):
So make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them,
we love answering them, we love thinking about them. All
you have to do is go to Bachelor nation dot
com slash Golden Hour submit away.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes, ma'am, because that's what we're here for. We love
giving advice, we love your questions, and we especially love
the updates all of it. You can also dm us
on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Okay, today we're gonna have fun. We're getting into the episode.
We're gonna start with the question of the day and
I got to tell you, Susan, this is not an
easy one for me to answer some hoping you'll carry
it on this one. Okay, ready for the question. Okay,
was there ever a time that you received some tough love?
(02:06):
How did you react? And looking back, do you feel
differently about it?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I honestly remember, before we touched on the tough love,
I had to give tough love, and it's the fardest
thing I've ever done. But I don't think i've received,
have you.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, I'm I I don't know. I mean, I'm such
a rule follower, you know, I don't break rules very often,
so you know, tough love to me. I didn't cheat
in school. I've never didn't. I don't not a thief,
I don't steal. So no, I don't really think i've.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
How about people out there listening, Yeah, we'd like to.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Hear, because you know what, as it's when we have children,
which you and I both do, we've had to We've
had to exert tough love on our kids. But I
think as you get older, you know, again, if somebody
cheated on somebody, you get divorced, I mean that's tough love.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, I guess yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But or if you painful, Yeah, I mean those are
painful things. But as an adult, I would hope that
you're not having that. We're not having tough love.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Nobody's given me tough love.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I hey, listen, I just want love. I don't need
tough love.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I just want real, be real.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Let's be real. Was there ever a time that I
received some tough love note, Am I ready for love? Yes?
That's I mean, I don't know what else to say
about that.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I know that's a tough one. That's a tough one
because I don't recall like, well, like you're getting a
divorce and tough love is you got to accept it
and move on things like that.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
But I mean, I think it's hard. We both talked
about tough love for head to do kids, and that's
always that's when parenting that was the most That's when
you're wondering, why the hell did I have kids?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Like that is not recommend it having kids. No, given
tough love.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
You don't want tough love.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But you don't recommend it.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I mean, it's not easy. You have to it changed.
It works. Let's just say that.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I mean, but it might be.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
The hardest thing you ever do, especially with somebody that
you love so much.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, and I think it has to be consistent, like
you can't you can't go back once you've taken that step.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
You have to stand firm.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I wonder if so, here's the question Folks write in
and tell us, like raising kids, we're doing our own
Question of the day here.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Raising kids so hard and you want to be fun
and you want to be their friend, but you can't.
You're a parent.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
You're not, and you're not even when they get older,
like and by older, I mean in their thirties, and
especially when they start having kids, then it becomes like
a friendship. But it's not. It's you know, people think
when they have a baby, oh, it's going to be
so fun and so no, it's it's there's great times,
but man, it's hard.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
There's moments. There's moments as a grandmom though, driving down
with Stella who just turned four, and then my other
granddaughter turned four, we went for her birthday, and they
love each other. Watching those moments. Yeah, it's precious.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
They don't see each other that much though, right or do.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
They as often as we can every few months.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, it's so cute. I mean that's the other thing,
love each other. Yeah, and family, getting family together is
so important. I love it. In fact, you know what
I'm doing this summer. I am going to Canada with
all my kids and my two grandchildren. Yep, we're doing
it the summer. We're going in July and in July
(05:52):
and they're all going and it's going to be my nephews,
two daughters, and my kids like they're all because we
made a priority to make sure that the cousins got
to get down their reunion. Yeah, and now it's the
next generation of the kids. So I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
It's awesome. That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So that's my tough love taking my kids to Canada.
All right, you ready to do our fan question? Go
for it.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Let's get into our fan questions for today. I'm gonna
go ahead and read the first one, and it is
from an anonymous Hi, ladies, I'm sorry this question is
kind of tough, but I really need your advice. I'm
a father to three children, ten, fourteen, and sixteen, and
I think I regret having children. I am active in
(06:39):
their lives along with my wife, Slash, their mom, and
I do love them, but I really wish I could
go back in time and not have kids. Wow. I
just don't feel like myself anymore, and my entire identity
has become a parent. I don't feel like I connect
with my children, and I just really feel dead and
(07:00):
stressed about it. Is there anything I can do to
feel better? Can you ever grow out of this regret?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Wow. You know what, I think. We have no idea
because it's anonymous, but I'm guessing, Susan that this dad
is reaching middle age and it's about he's.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Not a good identity.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I think others he's regretting the things maybe that he
hasn't done in his life, and he's saying, you know,
the kids kept me from that's in his head what
he's thinking. I'm guessing this is more about hitting middle
age and what he couldn't do and what he has.
You know, how much time does he have left? And
you know, I hate to say this, but I had
a lot of friends, not a lot of friends, but
(07:46):
some of my friends who went through divorces between forty
and fifty for exactly this reason. They felt like life
was passing them by. They had all they had done
was go from changing diapers to driving the Little League
to worry about now. And so I think that's more.
I think it's anonymous. I feel sorry that you feel
(08:08):
that way. I'd reach out and get some counseling.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, what do you might need something? Yes? And not
only that, I feel like women feel this way, not
when they're ten, fourteen, and sixteen, when they're born after
the first year, because we do lose our identity. We
are a mom, We are responsible for these little human
beings there ares. That's why people still suffer in their marriage,
(08:34):
with their sex life and they're dating again. It's about
the kids. It's not about you anymore. Just to take
a shower mint the world to me, you know, I
had twins with a three year old. That was like,
what about me? There was no time for me. Dad
seems like he's hands on with these kids. But he's
having regrets because he should be living right now. And
(08:56):
you know what, you will grow out of this regret.
You will. You're going to be very proud of what
you raised. Soon get another few more years ago.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
But I take issue with that, Susan. I don't feel
like I ever lost my identity. I loved being a mom.
I loved taking care of my kids. I loved being
a stay at home mom, and I was grateful that
I could my husband, you know, we could manage it,
that I could stay home. What was hardest for me
(09:28):
was when my kids left home, because then it was
like my identity was taking care of my children, being
a good mom, trying to be a good wife, all
those things. But then when the kids left, that's when
I struggled with identity because I spent so much time
taking care of my kids. So I don't know. I
(09:49):
think that everybody goes through this what Anonymous is going
through at some level. For you, it was when you
had your kids. For me, it was when my kids
left home.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Saying he doesn't feel like he connects with them.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, well that's something different. I mean I would encourage
him to maybe take up a sport with them, you know,
ask him if they want to go hiking with you,
or you know, get ask them to a bote a
friend or two and do something with your kids. But
you know, the other thing is teenagers. They're supposed to
be distant. They're supposed to be finding their way.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
In their lives. So I so, what part he's not
connecting with and he loves them?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, I think there's more of a story.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I think he needs some help. They really do.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, don't don't. Don't feel guilty that you feel that way.
You're entitled to your feelings. But I will get some
help and see what's really going on in your mind
that's making me feel.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
A suppression thing that's happening, you know, you're feeling like
you regret but you love your children.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Well, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. I mean, who knows.
But I wonder if there's something an issue with this
one life, maybe an issue between them.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Or with the kids in their life part of it.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Maybe I don't know, but if there's something. And when
you say, when someone says they wish they could go
back in time and not have kids, what I'm hearing,
and again I'm not a therapist, but what I'm hearing
is you don't like where your life is and you
want to redo. The kids are sort of secondary.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I can't regret it now you've got three of them.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, but you know you don't get a reduce, so
you have to learn how to make a good life
with what you have.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I think going to talk to somebody professionally might be
able to guide you, yeah, counselor making you feel better.
But I appreciate that you reached out to us.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, we wish you the best. We hope things improve
for you and get some help. You know, with therapy.
Men don't typically or traditionally like going to therapy, but
you know what, Anonymous in this case, I think it
will help you and make you feel a whole lot better.
So good luck and reach back out and let us know.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And stay active in their lives because later you will
be real be proud.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, I missed those days of going to the games
and soccer games, in the baseball games. Okay. Our second
one hot dogs, no hot dogs at the ballpark, at.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
The little infield to get homework done?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Do you remember that? In my case, my kids had
to practice the piano, get that done, get their homework done,
playing their rooms. Okay. The second one is from also
anonymous rights. Hi ladies, I'm a mom and I'm really
(12:35):
struggling with some guilt I've been dealing with for years.
When my daughter was in second grade, she begged me
to come to our school play. I said I would.
I even helped her practice her lines every night for
two weeks. But the day of the play, a war
crisis came up, and I told myself she'd understand. I figured,
you know, she's just a kid. There'll be plenty of
(12:56):
other plays. Turns out I was the only parent who
didn't show up. She told me afterward that she kept
looking at the audience, thinking I'd walk in late, and
I didn't. She didn't cry, she didn't even get mad.
She just went quiet. And that silence, that quiet disappointment,
it crushed me. She's a teenager now and she barely
(13:18):
remembers it, but I do. Every time she invites me
to something, I drop everything to be there. Not because
she's keeping score, but because I still am. I'm not
sure if it's just me, but I feel like our
relationship has never been the same since. What do you
suggest I do? Thanks so much, ladies.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Wow, you got to forgive yourself first of all.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
And I'm sure you've had conversations with her. Like she
just said now, she's doesn't even think about it, but
she knew the disappointment. There's nothing you can do. I mean,
you can't make that up. It's done.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm thinking again, there's more to this story than we're hearing.
I think the child was. We're talking years ago, years ago.
I bet the child really doesn't remember. And I think
there again, But what sometimes? But because sometimes people the
(14:15):
symptoms of something else going on, Guilt in a marriage,
guilt for work, something spreading herself too thinly from work
and family. So she's using that as a marker, if
you will, of something else that's going on in her life,
because realistically, Susan, we all miss things, we all screw
(14:37):
up when our kids are young and don't do the
right thing and don't and we're not sitting there twelve
years later saying, you know, I mean the silence that
crushed me. She was a child. It's over. What else
is going on in your life? Anonymous? Again, you got
to get some therapy, get some counseling too, because there's
something else going on that's making you feel this way.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
And forgive yourself, Babe, you're there for everything.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I mean, well, she said, I feel like our relationship
has never been the same since this child is a teenager, Anonymous.
Teenagers don't are a whole different species. And what you're
thinking of your relationship with a six year old is
not your relationship with a sixteen year old.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I wonder Kathy if she had that heart to heart
with her and saying how badly she does still feel
about that, that she won't forget.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I wouldn't put that on my child.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I'm saying, I wonder if she's had that conversation I
hope not with her daughter, that she's so sorry that
she missed it.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
How many years later, are we talking, Susan.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
It's still haunting her though. This is real and I
feel bad, But you need to forgive yourself, you really do.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
She her daughter was in second grade. She was seven
years old. Let it go, Let it go. This is
not about your daughter.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Also needs the therapist.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I just said too. Maybe they get a group deal,
the two of them go together. I mean oftentimes. And
I know this from personal experience. When you say something,
even in my marriage, when I would fight with my
husband about something, it was rarely the thing I was
fighting about, you know, the thing I picked on. It
was really something else that was bothering me. And I
(16:20):
think that's what's going on here. Yeah, yeah, so I
wisht snow. Let us snow.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
All righty Kelly, ladies, I'm pissed and I need your help, Okay,
So tell me why I got ghosted by a man
after I helped him write his mom's birthday card. No like,
I sat on his couch, thoughtfully, helped him come up
with a heartfelt message, even suggested a quote from her
(16:50):
favorite actress, which by the way, made her cry. And
then this man vanished into thin air like he was
in the witness protection. He even asked me to take
a picture of him holding the card to send to her.
I was practically part of the family for two business days,
and I know he got the card to her because
(17:13):
she DMS me on Instagram to say thank you. I
haven't opened it or answered. What am I supposed to
do with that? Am I supposed to message his mom
and be like, hey, girl, your son hates me. Now
we've been dating. Well, we're dating for eight months. It's
been two weeks and I've got nothing from this man,
(17:34):
not a peep, not a return call or text.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
What do I do?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Holy cat?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Go find yourself a new man?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Eight months and he ghosts her? I mean again, the
final conversation. I'm sorry, I feel her pain. Yes, I
tell his mom.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Hey, of course you would. I'm just saying if he's
first of all, I would, I would answer the mom.
Don't be rude, Kelly, answer the mom and say what
are you supposed to do with that? You say, I'm
so glad you like the card. I find it interesting
here that the mom dm DM me on Instagram to
say thank you? So does that mean the mother knew
(18:13):
that she wrote the card? Did the sun tell?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Doesn't know if she said thank you because she didn't
open it.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
No, she said, I know we got the card because
she DM me on Instagram to say thank you. I
haven't opened it or answered, so she knows. She knows
she was saying thank you. And my question is, if
you know she was saying thank you, she must know
that you wrote the card, which is.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Bubble part of it.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, so you know, I don't. What do you do
with that? You write her back? Always Kelly, always stay
above the fray. Stay above the fray. Walk away with grace,
Say I'm so glad you liked the card, and move on.
If guy did. If the guy ghosts you, he's not
that interested, he's not that.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Any months and he's just gonna ghost her.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
That's what he did. Do you, Susan, put yourself in
the position of a guy. If you're dating guy for
eight months, you got it, he's ghosted you.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
No, that's not acceptable. I'm sorry. That is not being
a man. Just say I'm not interested. It's over. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Okay, I don't need to hear that. If a guy
does me.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
See my brain, I would think something happened to him.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I would just say, but you know what if something
happened to him, Mom would have called.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
The girlfriend didn't open the message, Well, she the foremost,
Kelly opened the message.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yeah, you know, he could be lying in a hospital
room with intraction. But I'm just saying, I don't know, Susan.
I guess. I just feel like if a guy is
interested in me, he's going to let me know, and
if he's not interested in me anymore, he's gonna.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
So you're seeing somebody for eight months, the better part
of a year, and then all of a sudden you
don't get a response. Two weeks go by. You're good.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I mean, I'm caught on the guy who wants who's
daying me? For eight months?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
You can't move on? You don't you need some closure?
Is it over? Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Well, well let me justa okay, fair enough, I'm warm
into the idea. But why wouldn't she text him and say,
I haven't heard from you in two weeks?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
What's obviously shed because he's not responding.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, no, no, no no, She's.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Man vanished into no air like he was in the
witness protection.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
She says, not a peep, not a return call or text.
He's not calling.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Her, right, She's reached out to him and he's not responding. Mmm,
your brain, I know you, Kathy, you'd be calling the
hospitals making.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I'm just saying, I'm not sure. Here's what I would
Here's what I would do, Kelly. I would reach out
to him. If you have reached out to him and
he's not answering, move along, little puppy, move along, move
along if he because you know what if that's if
that's his level of integrity, Do you really want to
be with him any of'ems?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
No, of course, not that that makes sense. But my
ass would be driving over to confront him, not the face.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You don't know me. If you think I would do that,
I'd be heartbroken. Would I would be heartbroken, But I would.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Never say leaving it empty. You don't even know why
what happened, nothing, no explanation. I think it's less of
a man, and his mother would be very proud. Who cares.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I'm not marrying his mother and you just said he's
less of a man. I don't want to date a
guy who's who's not a genument.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
So this is not that not after eight months? No,
welled me some respect, Kelly. Kelly answered the mother and
I wouldn't say your son hates me.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Now, don't say anything about your son her.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I would. I would definitely what. I'm so happy that
you liked it. He put a lot of thought into it.
It's funny though I haven't heard from him in two weeks.
I hope everything's okay. Plant the seed a men. Let
me know, Kelly.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
We want to know Kelly. And I feel sorry for you,
by the way, I feel terribly sorry for you. All right,
let us know, Kelly. All right, we're gonna do another game,
tough Love edition of Red Flag or Red Rose.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Okay, it's a tough love. Why are we on tough love?
We're going to switch off reading the prompts. If we
think it's necessary tough love, we'll give a red rose.
But if we think it's too far, we were giving
it a red flag.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
And okay, wait this is this sounds like a complicated
game this time, but let's go. We'll see because if.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
You think it's too harsh, feel free to give an alternative.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Oh I love this, all right, this is all right.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Telling your friend who keeps talking about her situationship. Maybe
he's not texting you because he's just not that into
you telling your friend who keeps talking about her situationship.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Meaning meaning she's not here for the guy, and you say, well, Kathy,
maybe he's not texting because he's just not that into you.
That to me, I give you a red rose for
telling me that. Not you know, if he's not into you,
that is a red flag.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
It's necessary tough love. Yeah, that's a red rose, right.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Right, that's what I say. Okay, all right, Telling your
friend who's venting about her X again, if you keep
going back to him, you don't get to complain about
him anymore. Oh, definitely a red rose. Definitely a red yeah, okay,
go ahead, alright.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Refusing to attend someone's wedding because they're marrying someone.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Toxic, that's not that's red flag. That is a red flag.
If you've got somebody who won wed, not your decision. Okay.
Calling out your friend for being the toxic one in
all her breakups when she's freshly out of a long
term relationship, love baby, I think if she's if she's
(24:35):
freshly out of a long term it depends who broke
up with whom. I think if you, if you, you know,
don't hit a dog when they're down.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
No, I know, but if you're a real friend, you're
going to have to point it out.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Not calling out your friend for being the toxic one
in all her breakups when she's freshly out of a relationship.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Because she's repeating her.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You're going to and my heart's broken because some guy
just broke up and me and go like, O, well, Kathy,
get over it. You're the tox one that's gonna hurt
my feelings and make me feel worse.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yes, yes, what I will know. But if you repeat
the same pattern. I'm thinking of somebody in particular that
repeats the same exact things and then afterwards regrets the
way she looked, the way she acted and behaves, and
I tried to tell her over and over and over again.
Why do you do that?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Well? I think I think I think that for me,
and you're a good friend, you would tell me about it.
I don't think you would tell me when I was
crying and called you up there. So I think it's
about timing here.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah, all right, telling someone that you're breaking up with
them because you're tired of emotionally parenting them.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
That's a red rose. You're being honest, man.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I mean the guy is a red flag. If you
have to emotion a parent of guy, that's a red flag.
All right. Oh, reminding a friend to pay you back
if they haven't within twenty four hours, that's a red flag.
By the way, Susan, you owe me five bucks.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
I'm twenty four hours. Like, if it's ridiculous two weeks
or something and they haven't made an effort payday case.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I think it's a red flag if you're doing it within.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah, saying I love you, but I can't listen to
this story about your ex for the thirtieth time.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
I love that. It's a red rose rose absolutely leaving.
You know why it's a red rose because you've listened
to it for thirty times and you just don't need
to hear it anymore. No one needs to hear it anymore.
You can't listen anymore, okay. Leaving the group chat because no,
this is a good one. Leaving the group chat because
(26:55):
no one ever responds to your messages.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
It's a group chat.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Well, like if we were in a group chat with
seventy people and I said, you know, where do you
want to go on vacation? And no one answers me,
I'd probably leave the group chat.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yes' screw it, they're annoying anyhow. Yeah, cutting off a
long time friend because they never ask how you're doing.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I mean that says a lot about somebody. If they're
never asking you how you're doing.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
I get that. But just cutting them off because they
never asked how you're doing. Sometimes they don't have to ask,
you just tell I don't true.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I don't know about that one. I think I could
go either way. Yeah, all right. Telling your child who's
in college, Oh, this is a bouquet of red roses.
Telling your child who's in college that they can't move
back home without paying rent that you actually used to
pay for house bills, not money that you're saving for them.
That is I'm so impressed to anyone who does that.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Not you, No, because in today's world, it's going to
take time to get a job.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Oh I made the assumption I have a job. No no, No,
I made the assumption the kid has a job and
it's just living at home because it's cheaper, meaning free.
Oh no, if if a child.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
In it, you know they graduate, okay, you can't come
back into.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Your No no, no. If I read this. Let me let
me clarify before I get hate mail. I read this.
I read this that the child had graduated college, had
a job, was moving back home. I mean, I would
probably give them two or three months to get a
little money in the bank and kind.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Of get their jobs. You got to take something, you.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Know, I'm trying to. After a couple of months, I
would say, okay, look, you know you're using the hot
water and the electricity. You got to help me for
me after.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
They get out of college, and you're going to pay
your own self bill. Okay, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah. Oh god, you know they make that hard because
the more my kids are thirty something before they paid
their own car insurance. Well, the more, the more phones,
the more lines you have, the cheaper the phone will.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Become nowadays, but not back then.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Now, you're right, all right, Okay?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Refusing to help your sibling babysit because they were never
able to watch your children. Oh that's terrible. Oh that's
a I'm confused with the.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Flag in the rood. Yeah, I'm confused. But let's just
talk about this. Do you think it's ever okay to
refuse to ow?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You should help if you can and you're available. Why not?
Because they didn't do it for you, so I'm not
going to do it for you, and I'm not that
way great to me. If anything, I'll be like the martyr.
Of course I call them.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Susan, How do you feel want to come and take
care of my cats? I mean, I know you don't
have cats, but you know it's the same thing, all right.
Telling your mom after a stressful conversation that she needs
therapy and you're not her therapist. I think that's cruel.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
That is cruel to your mother. Yeah, I would maybe suggest
therapy if I thought it needed.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
But it's how you say it.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Delivery delivery, leaving the family group chat after one more
why are you still single? Comment?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Hell? I not would only leave a family chat, I'd
block them all.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I'd stay in there and just torture them. You tell
me why.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
No, Susan be sitting by.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
And then when you do find one, they got something
to say about that too. I can't.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
What did I tell you the other day? I'm saying
it too for all vaclination, What did I tell you?
This is your life. It's time you live your life.
For you, you've raised your kids. Live your life. For you,
and Susan's like, oh, but I live for everybody to
be happy. It's not possible. Everyone is not just.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
That they're struggling with Okay, Okay, go ahead, I'm just still.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
On the single comment. Okay. When confronted by a friend
as to why you guys don't hang out anymore, you
say we're not close because you were never emotionally available
growing up.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Why the hell says that?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I mean, oh my god, I mean if if I
I'm of specially somehow close, because I mean, you've got
friends from when you grew up, I don't because you
live where you grew up, I don't.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
So and I choose not to hang out with some
of them because they're more negative people. I'm all about
the positive energy.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Yeah, I can't be well, but would you? And so
am I? But would you ever say to someone now
we're not close? Okay, Susan? When I call you tonight,
I was like, I don't want to be a friend
anymore because you have not been emotionally available.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Are emotionally available? We hear each other stories, we cry
with each other. I mean, yeah, we feel.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Each other's pain. It's just pathetic, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
What, Either people out there that would say these things
to me, I look at them like they're cold.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
You know what, I think some people are so self involved,
so egocentric. All they think about is themselves, what makes
them happy. They don't stop to think, how will this
make someone feel? You know, how will this make Susan feel?
If I say, they just blurt it out and they
(32:45):
don't and they don't care. And I will say, as
I've gotten older, I think when you're young, we all
say stuff. Well, we're much more aware. We don't blurt
things out like we used to.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Well, I still blurt them out well, but I still
during the conversation, I say, what's going on in your life?
You know, it's not just my phone call about me?
I mean, whoever you're talking to, you share and.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Well you're going. You're right now. Sometimes we both wort
things out, but we're either being funny or we're making jokes,
but not seriously do I what I ever call you
up and say what the hell is you know? Come on,
no one, you.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Weren't emotionally available for me, therefore.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
We're right, So we're done. You were an emotionally available
to me on that cruise we're going to take. So
you're done, You're dead to me.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
She better not gets sick.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I'm going to buy Wait can we just say we're
going on a cruise together. Well, we're going to go
to Greece and Istambul, Turkey and and you know what
I'm doing, I'm loading up on c bands, drama, mean big.
I don't think on a big ship, I'll get sick. Right,
Please tell me no.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
No. If it's rough seas sometimes you feel it a
little bit. But no.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Okay, So I'm going to ask you so everyone can know.
Are you going to help me pack? What your brand?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
There we go? So you're going to have so many
clothes by the just bring it all, just bring everything.
I like choices. I love people that say I can
go in a backpack for a week.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
I go.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
How you wear the same think she does? Well, I
wash it, I go. But the whole idea of vacation.
I'm wearing your fun clothes.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
And all these people that buy these clothes that you
know you wash them out in their SPF fifty, I
mean they look like they just hit out in the
jungle for a month.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Wrinkle.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You can throw it in your bag like oh oh
man and they wash it. Can I just tell you
what is poisoned to my ears? When someone goes on
vacation and I asked that question, they go, oh, I
just wash it out in the sink at night. I'm like,
I just gags me, like I wash it.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I've done it, though, if you can't get to a
washer and something, Susan.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
First of all, you bring enough clothes. You bring enough
clothes to dress the entire resort for a week, so
I get over. I'm just saying, like, can you imagine
travel with like that? Those travel pants that everybody.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Can It's not cute.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
I was going to say, six people can fit into
one pair.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
It's all about fashion, you know.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
And then if you want wear that dress, wait, I'm
gonna you know, I'm buying you for your birthday next year.
Those pants that unzip at the knee too. For one,
you get a pair of shorts.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
And I have them in my golf pants.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I'd hiking pants like that. And when I hike, when
I go to a big bend or you know I.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Have it's cold in the morning, you wear the long
ones and then I unzip them.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I want to see you. I want to see that.
But anyway, this was Oh my god, that was so fun.
Is there anything else you haven't chatted about today that?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Oh no, I'm mending my arm. It's time to go
to physical therapy now and just doing the little have
me sore. It's this is taken for it.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
But you want to do them, Susan seriously, because when
I broke mine, he said to me, if you don't
do the exercises, it'll be deforment. It will never be
the same. You will not have movement in your rest
and you don't want that.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
No, I don't. Well, I want to thank everybody for
joining us today and listening, and what is your take
on some of these questions? What red flag rose? I
like roses?
Speaker 2 (36:14):
I know I like roses. I want lots of roses,
not one a bouquet a bouquet, but until I get
the bouquet. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as
we have new episodes coming out every week. We have
more episodes coming up with fan questions, we have more
great guests coming up. We're gonna hear about Susan's wrist
(36:37):
until it is healed. We're gonna hear about Susan's upcoming travels.
We're gonna you're gonna hear about our crews. It's all coming,
it's all coome.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Yes, we love sharing with you. Make sure to submit
your questions to us and what happens afterwards, and you
can go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour,
or you can DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Thanks for tuning in, guys, We look for over to
the next time YEP.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
In the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour
on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Till next time. Take care,
Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank
you so much for coming to join us again. Kathy
and I are so excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Always excited to be back. We've had a great week.
Spring has sprung. I was telling you earlier, Susan, I'm
having my house spit shine for the spring. I mean,
I'm not here, I'm having things.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Isn't it a great feeling?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It is like the guy that's doing he's powerwashing my deck.
He's staining, restaining in my deck. He was up there
cleaning the ceiling fan. He goes, when was the last
time this ceiling fan was clean. I said, I've lived
in this house seventeen years. He goes, when was the
last time was clean? I said, seventeen years ago.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
You're cleaning. Lady doesn't do that.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
The ceiling fan outside on the porch outside, it's a
ceiling fan on my on my covered porch. So no,
she doesn't.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Because I was going to say, why is he in
the house, because what oh no, no, no, he's powerwashing.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
And then come yeah, now we're not power washing in
the house. However, can I just say by PSA for
today is when you powerwash your house and near the windows.
Unless you have hermetically sealed windows, you better be falling
around with a towel because there's gonna be water on
your floor. Okay, today, not only we talk about spring cleaning,
but we're going to be answering some of your fan questions.
(01:22):
So make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them,
we love answering them, we love thinking about them. All
you have to do is go to Bachelor nation dot
com slash Golden Hour submit away.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yes, ma'am, because that's what we're here for. We love
giving advice, we love your questions, and we especially love
the updates all of it. You can also dm us
on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Okay, today we're gonna have fun. We're getting into the episode.
We're gonna start with the question of the day and
I got to tell you, Susan, this is not an
easy one for me to answer some hoping you'll carry
it on this one. Okay, ready for the question. Okay,
was there ever a time that you received some tough love?
(02:06):
How did you react? And looking back, do you feel
differently about it?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I honestly remember, before we touched on the tough love,
I had to give tough love, and it's the fardest
thing I've ever done. But I don't think i've received,
have you.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, I'm I I don't know. I mean, I'm such
a rule follower, you know, I don't break rules very often,
so you know, tough love to me. I didn't cheat
in school. I've never didn't. I don't not a thief,
I don't steal. So no, I don't really think i've.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
How about people out there listening, Yeah, we'd like to.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Hear, because you know what, as it's when we have children,
which you and I both do, we've had to We've
had to exert tough love on our kids. But I
think as you get older, you know, again, if somebody
cheated on somebody, you get divorced, I mean that's tough love.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, I guess yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But or if you painful, Yeah, I mean those are
painful things. But as an adult, I would hope that
you're not having that. We're not having tough love.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Nobody's given me tough love.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I hey, listen, I just want love. I don't need
tough love.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I just want real, be real.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Let's be real. Was there ever a time that I
received some tough love note, Am I ready for love? Yes?
That's I mean, I don't know what else to say
about that.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I know that's a tough one. That's a tough one
because I don't recall like, well, like you're getting a
divorce and tough love is you got to accept it
and move on things like that.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
But I mean, I think it's hard. We both talked
about tough love for head to do kids, and that's
always that's when parenting that was the most That's when
you're wondering, why the hell did I have kids?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Like that is not recommend it having kids. No, given
tough love.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
You don't want tough love.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
But you don't recommend it.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I mean, it's not easy. You have to it changed.
It works. Let's just say that.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I mean, but it might be.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
The hardest thing you ever do, especially with somebody that
you love so much.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, and I think it has to be consistent, like
you can't you can't go back once you've taken that step.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
You have to stand firm.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I wonder if so, here's the question Folks write in
and tell us, like raising kids, we're doing our own
Question of the day here.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Raising kids so hard and you want to be fun
and you want to be their friend, but you can't.
You're a parent.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
You're not, and you're not even when they get older,
like and by older, I mean in their thirties, and
especially when they start having kids, then it becomes like
a friendship. But it's not. It's you know, people think
when they have a baby, oh, it's going to be
so fun and so no, it's it's there's great times,
but man, it's hard.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
There's moments. There's moments as a grandmom though, driving down
with Stella who just turned four, and then my other
granddaughter turned four, we went for her birthday, and they
love each other. Watching those moments. Yeah, it's precious.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
They don't see each other that much though, right or do.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
They as often as we can every few months.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, it's so cute. I mean that's the other thing,
love each other. Yeah, and family, getting family together is
so important. I love it. In fact, you know what
I'm doing this summer. I am going to Canada with
all my kids and my two grandchildren. Yep, we're doing
it the summer. We're going in July and in July
(05:52):
and they're all going and it's going to be my nephews,
two daughters, and my kids like they're all because we
made a priority to make sure that the cousins got
to get down their reunion. Yeah, and now it's the
next generation of the kids. So I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
It's awesome. That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So that's my tough love taking my kids to Canada.
All right, you ready to do our fan question? Go
for it.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Let's get into our fan questions for today. I'm gonna
go ahead and read the first one, and it is
from an anonymous Hi, ladies, I'm sorry this question is
kind of tough, but I really need your advice. I'm
a father to three children, ten, fourteen, and sixteen, and
I think I regret having children. I am active in
(06:39):
their lives along with my wife, Slash, their mom, and
I do love them, but I really wish I could
go back in time and not have kids. Wow. I
just don't feel like myself anymore, and my entire identity
has become a parent. I don't feel like I connect
with my children, and I just really feel dead and
(07:00):
stressed about it. Is there anything I can do to
feel better? Can you ever grow out of this regret?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Wow. You know what, I think. We have no idea
because it's anonymous, but I'm guessing, Susan that this dad
is reaching middle age and it's about he's.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Not a good identity.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I think others he's regretting the things maybe that he
hasn't done in his life, and he's saying, you know,
the kids kept me from that's in his head what
he's thinking. I'm guessing this is more about hitting middle
age and what he couldn't do and what he has.
You know, how much time does he have left? And
you know, I hate to say this, but I had
a lot of friends, not a lot of friends, but
(07:46):
some of my friends who went through divorces between forty
and fifty for exactly this reason. They felt like life
was passing them by. They had all they had done
was go from changing diapers to driving the Little League
to worry about now. And so I think that's more.
I think it's anonymous. I feel sorry that you feel
(08:08):
that way. I'd reach out and get some counseling.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, what do you might need something? Yes? And not
only that, I feel like women feel this way, not
when they're ten, fourteen, and sixteen, when they're born after
the first year, because we do lose our identity. We
are a mom, We are responsible for these little human
beings there ares. That's why people still suffer in their marriage,
(08:34):
with their sex life and they're dating again. It's about
the kids. It's not about you anymore. Just to take
a shower mint the world to me, you know, I
had twins with a three year old. That was like,
what about me? There was no time for me. Dad
seems like he's hands on with these kids. But he's
having regrets because he should be living right now. And
(08:56):
you know what, you will grow out of this regret.
You will. You're going to be very proud of what
you raised. Soon get another few more years ago.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
But I take issue with that, Susan. I don't feel
like I ever lost my identity. I loved being a mom.
I loved taking care of my kids. I loved being
a stay at home mom, and I was grateful that
I could my husband, you know, we could manage it,
that I could stay home. What was hardest for me
(09:28):
was when my kids left home, because then it was
like my identity was taking care of my children, being
a good mom, trying to be a good wife, all
those things. But then when the kids left, that's when
I struggled with identity because I spent so much time
taking care of my kids. So I don't know. I
(09:49):
think that everybody goes through this what Anonymous is going
through at some level. For you, it was when you
had your kids. For me, it was when my kids
left home.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Saying he doesn't feel like he connects with them.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, well that's something different. I mean I would encourage
him to maybe take up a sport with them, you know,
ask him if they want to go hiking with you,
or you know, get ask them to a bote a
friend or two and do something with your kids. But
you know, the other thing is teenagers. They're supposed to
be distant. They're supposed to be finding their way.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
In their lives. So I so, what part he's not
connecting with and he loves them?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, I think there's more of a story.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I think he needs some help. They really do.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yeah, don't don't. Don't feel guilty that you feel that way.
You're entitled to your feelings. But I will get some
help and see what's really going on in your mind
that's making me feel.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
A suppression thing that's happening, you know, you're feeling like
you regret but you love your children.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Well, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. I mean, who knows.
But I wonder if there's something an issue with this
one life, maybe an issue between them.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Or with the kids in their life part of it.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Maybe I don't know, but if there's something. And when
you say, when someone says they wish they could go
back in time and not have kids, what I'm hearing,
and again I'm not a therapist, but what I'm hearing
is you don't like where your life is and you
want to redo. The kids are sort of secondary.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
I can't regret it now you've got three of them.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, but you know you don't get a reduce, so
you have to learn how to make a good life
with what you have.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I think going to talk to somebody professionally might be
able to guide you, yeah, counselor making you feel better.
But I appreciate that you reached out to us.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, we wish you the best. We hope things improve
for you and get some help. You know, with therapy.
Men don't typically or traditionally like going to therapy, but
you know what, Anonymous in this case, I think it
will help you and make you feel a whole lot better.
So good luck and reach back out and let us know.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And stay active in their lives because later you will
be real be proud.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, I missed those days of going to the games
and soccer games, in the baseball games. Okay. Our second
one hot dogs, no hot dogs at the ballpark, at.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
The little infield to get homework done?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Do you remember that? In my case, my kids had
to practice the piano, get that done, get their homework done,
playing their rooms. Okay. The second one is from also
anonymous rights. Hi ladies, I'm a mom and I'm really
(12:35):
struggling with some guilt I've been dealing with for years.
When my daughter was in second grade, she begged me
to come to our school play. I said I would.
I even helped her practice her lines every night for
two weeks. But the day of the play, a war
crisis came up, and I told myself she'd understand. I figured,
you know, she's just a kid. There'll be plenty of
(12:56):
other plays. Turns out I was the only parent who
didn't show up. She told me afterward that she kept
looking at the audience, thinking I'd walk in late, and
I didn't. She didn't cry, she didn't even get mad.
She just went quiet. And that silence, that quiet disappointment,
it crushed me. She's a teenager now and she barely
(13:18):
remembers it, but I do. Every time she invites me
to something, I drop everything to be there. Not because
she's keeping score, but because I still am. I'm not
sure if it's just me, but I feel like our
relationship has never been the same since. What do you
suggest I do? Thanks so much, ladies.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Wow, you got to forgive yourself first of all.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
And I'm sure you've had conversations with her. Like she
just said now, she's doesn't even think about it, but
she knew the disappointment. There's nothing you can do. I mean,
you can't make that up. It's done.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm thinking again, there's more to this story than we're hearing.
I think the child was. We're talking years ago, years ago.
I bet the child really doesn't remember. And I think
there again, But what sometimes? But because sometimes people the
(14:15):
symptoms of something else going on, Guilt in a marriage,
guilt for work, something spreading herself too thinly from work
and family. So she's using that as a marker, if
you will, of something else that's going on in her life,
because realistically, Susan, we all miss things, we all screw
(14:37):
up when our kids are young and don't do the
right thing and don't and we're not sitting there twelve
years later saying, you know, I mean the silence that
crushed me. She was a child. It's over. What else
is going on in your life? Anonymous? Again, you got
to get some therapy, get some counseling too, because there's
something else going on that's making you feel this way.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
And forgive yourself, Babe, you're there for everything.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I mean, well, she said, I feel like our relationship
has never been the same since this child is a teenager, Anonymous.
Teenagers don't are a whole different species. And what you're
thinking of your relationship with a six year old is
not your relationship with a sixteen year old.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I wonder Kathy if she had that heart to heart
with her and saying how badly she does still feel
about that, that she won't forget.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I wouldn't put that on my child.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I'm saying, I wonder if she's had that conversation I
hope not with her daughter, that she's so sorry that
she missed it.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
How many years later, are we talking, Susan.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
It's still haunting her though. This is real and I
feel bad, But you need to forgive yourself, you really do.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
She her daughter was in second grade. She was seven
years old. Let it go, Let it go. This is
not about your daughter.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Also needs the therapist.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I just said too. Maybe they get a group deal,
the two of them go together. I mean oftentimes. And
I know this from personal experience. When you say something,
even in my marriage, when I would fight with my
husband about something, it was rarely the thing I was
fighting about, you know, the thing I picked on. It
was really something else that was bothering me. And I
(16:20):
think that's what's going on here. Yeah, yeah, so I
wisht snow. Let us snow.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
All righty Kelly, ladies, I'm pissed and I need your help, Okay,
So tell me why I got ghosted by a man
after I helped him write his mom's birthday card. No like,
I sat on his couch, thoughtfully, helped him come up
with a heartfelt message, even suggested a quote from her
(16:50):
favorite actress, which by the way, made her cry. And
then this man vanished into thin air like he was
in the witness protection. He even asked me to take
a picture of him holding the card to send to her.
I was practically part of the family for two business days,
and I know he got the card to her because
(17:13):
she DMS me on Instagram to say thank you. I
haven't opened it or answered. What am I supposed to
do with that? Am I supposed to message his mom
and be like, hey, girl, your son hates me. Now
we've been dating. Well, we're dating for eight months. It's
been two weeks and I've got nothing from this man,
(17:34):
not a peep, not a return call or text.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
What do I do?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Holy cat?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Go find yourself a new man?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Eight months and he ghosts her? I mean again, the
final conversation. I'm sorry, I feel her pain. Yes, I
tell his mom.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Hey, of course you would. I'm just saying if he's
first of all, I would, I would answer the mom.
Don't be rude, Kelly, answer the mom and say what
are you supposed to do with that? You say, I'm
so glad you like the card. I find it interesting
here that the mom dm DM me on Instagram to
say thank you? So does that mean the mother knew
(18:13):
that she wrote the card? Did the sun tell?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Doesn't know if she said thank you because she didn't
open it.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
No, she said, I know we got the card because
she DM me on Instagram to say thank you. I
haven't opened it or answered, so she knows. She knows
she was saying thank you. And my question is, if
you know she was saying thank you, she must know
that you wrote the card, which is.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Bubble part of it.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, so you know, I don't. What do you do
with that? You write her back? Always Kelly, always stay
above the fray. Stay above the fray. Walk away with grace,
Say I'm so glad you liked the card, and move on.
If guy did. If the guy ghosts you, he's not
that interested, he's not that.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Any months and he's just gonna ghost her.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
That's what he did. Do you, Susan, put yourself in
the position of a guy. If you're dating guy for
eight months, you got it, he's ghosted you.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
No, that's not acceptable. I'm sorry. That is not being
a man. Just say I'm not interested. It's over. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Okay, I don't need to hear that. If a guy
does me.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
See my brain, I would think something happened to him.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I would just say, but you know what if something
happened to him, Mom would have called.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
The girlfriend didn't open the message, Well, she the foremost,
Kelly opened the message.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yeah, you know, he could be lying in a hospital
room with intraction. But I'm just saying, I don't know, Susan.
I guess. I just feel like if a guy is
interested in me, he's going to let me know, and
if he's not interested in me anymore, he's gonna.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
So you're seeing somebody for eight months, the better part
of a year, and then all of a sudden you
don't get a response. Two weeks go by. You're good.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I mean, I'm caught on the guy who wants who's
daying me? For eight months?
Speaker 1 (20:16):
You can't move on? You don't you need some closure?
Is it over? Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Well, well let me justa okay, fair enough, I'm warm
into the idea. But why wouldn't she text him and say,
I haven't heard from you in two weeks?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
What's obviously shed because he's not responding.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, no, no, no no, She's.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Man vanished into no air like he was in the
witness protection.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
She says, not a peep, not a return call or text.
He's not calling.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Her, right, She's reached out to him and he's not responding. Mmm,
your brain, I know you, Kathy, you'd be calling the
hospitals making.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I'm just saying, I'm not sure. Here's what I would
Here's what I would do, Kelly. I would reach out
to him. If you have reached out to him and
he's not answering, move along, little puppy, move along, move
along if he because you know what if that's if
that's his level of integrity, Do you really want to
be with him any of'ems?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
No, of course, not that that makes sense. But my
ass would be driving over to confront him, not the face.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You don't know me. If you think I would do that,
I'd be heartbroken. Would I would be heartbroken, But I would.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Never say leaving it empty. You don't even know why
what happened, nothing, no explanation. I think it's less of
a man, and his mother would be very proud. Who cares.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I'm not marrying his mother and you just said he's
less of a man. I don't want to date a
guy who's who's not a genument.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
So this is not that not after eight months? No,
welled me some respect, Kelly. Kelly answered the mother and
I wouldn't say your son hates me.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Now, don't say anything about your son her.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I would. I would definitely what. I'm so happy that
you liked it. He put a lot of thought into it.
It's funny though I haven't heard from him in two weeks.
I hope everything's okay. Plant the seed a men. Let
me know, Kelly.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
We want to know Kelly. And I feel sorry for you,
by the way, I feel terribly sorry for you. All right,
let us know, Kelly. All right, we're gonna do another game,
tough Love edition of Red Flag or Red Rose.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Okay, it's a tough love. Why are we on tough love?
We're going to switch off reading the prompts. If we
think it's necessary tough love, we'll give a red rose.
But if we think it's too far, we were giving
it a red flag.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
And okay, wait this is this sounds like a complicated
game this time, but let's go. We'll see because if.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
You think it's too harsh, feel free to give an alternative.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Oh I love this, all right, this is all right.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Telling your friend who keeps talking about her situationship. Maybe
he's not texting you because he's just not that into
you telling your friend who keeps talking about her situationship.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Meaning meaning she's not here for the guy, and you say, well, Kathy,
maybe he's not texting because he's just not that into you.
That to me, I give you a red rose for
telling me that. Not you know, if he's not into you,
that is a red flag.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
It's necessary tough love. Yeah, that's a red rose, right.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Right, that's what I say. Okay, all right, Telling your
friend who's venting about her X again, if you keep
going back to him, you don't get to complain about
him anymore. Oh, definitely a red rose. Definitely a red yeah, okay,
go ahead, alright.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Refusing to attend someone's wedding because they're marrying someone.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Toxic, that's not that's red flag. That is a red flag.
If you've got somebody who won wed, not your decision. Okay.
Calling out your friend for being the toxic one in
all her breakups when she's freshly out of a long
term relationship, love baby, I think if she's if she's
(24:35):
freshly out of a long term it depends who broke
up with whom. I think if you, if you, you know,
don't hit a dog when they're down.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
No, I know, but if you're a real friend, you're
going to have to point it out.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Not calling out your friend for being the toxic one
in all her breakups when she's freshly out of a relationship.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Because she's repeating her.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
You're going to and my heart's broken because some guy
just broke up and me and go like, O, well, Kathy,
get over it. You're the tox one that's gonna hurt
my feelings and make me feel worse.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Yes, yes, what I will know. But if you repeat
the same pattern. I'm thinking of somebody in particular that
repeats the same exact things and then afterwards regrets the
way she looked, the way she acted and behaves, and
I tried to tell her over and over and over again.
Why do you do that?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Well? I think I think I think that for me,
and you're a good friend, you would tell me about it.
I don't think you would tell me when I was
crying and called you up there. So I think it's
about timing here.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah, all right, telling someone that you're breaking up with
them because you're tired of emotionally parenting them.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
That's a red rose. You're being honest, man.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I mean the guy is a red flag. If you
have to emotion a parent of guy, that's a red flag.
All right. Oh, reminding a friend to pay you back
if they haven't within twenty four hours, that's a red flag.
By the way, Susan, you owe me five bucks.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
I'm twenty four hours. Like, if it's ridiculous two weeks
or something and they haven't made an effort payday case.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I think it's a red flag if you're doing it within.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah, saying I love you, but I can't listen to
this story about your ex for the thirtieth time.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
I love that. It's a red rose rose absolutely leaving.
You know why it's a red rose because you've listened
to it for thirty times and you just don't need
to hear it anymore. No one needs to hear it anymore.
You can't listen anymore, okay. Leaving the group chat because no,
this is a good one. Leaving the group chat because
(26:55):
no one ever responds to your messages.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
It's a group chat.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Well, like if we were in a group chat with
seventy people and I said, you know, where do you
want to go on vacation? And no one answers me,
I'd probably leave the group chat.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yes' screw it, they're annoying anyhow. Yeah, cutting off a
long time friend because they never ask how you're doing.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I mean that says a lot about somebody. If they're
never asking you how you're doing.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
I get that. But just cutting them off because they
never asked how you're doing. Sometimes they don't have to ask,
you just tell I don't true.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
I don't know about that one. I think I could
go either way. Yeah, all right. Telling your child who's
in college, Oh, this is a bouquet of red roses.
Telling your child who's in college that they can't move
back home without paying rent that you actually used to
pay for house bills, not money that you're saving for them.
That is I'm so impressed to anyone who does that.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Not you, No, because in today's world, it's going to
take time to get a job.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Oh I made the assumption I have a job. No no, No,
I made the assumption the kid has a job and
it's just living at home because it's cheaper, meaning free.
Oh no, if if a child.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
In it, you know they graduate, okay, you can't come
back into.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Your No no, no. If I read this. Let me let
me clarify before I get hate mail. I read this.
I read this that the child had graduated college, had
a job, was moving back home. I mean, I would
probably give them two or three months to get a
little money in the bank and kind.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Of get their jobs. You got to take something, you.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Know, I'm trying to. After a couple of months, I
would say, okay, look, you know you're using the hot
water and the electricity. You got to help me for
me after.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
They get out of college, and you're going to pay
your own self bill. Okay, I'm done.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah. Oh god, you know they make that hard because
the more my kids are thirty something before they paid
their own car insurance. Well, the more, the more phones,
the more lines you have, the cheaper the phone will.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Become nowadays, but not back then.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Now, you're right, all right, Okay?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Refusing to help your sibling babysit because they were never
able to watch your children. Oh that's terrible. Oh that's
a I'm confused with the.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Flag in the rood. Yeah, I'm confused. But let's just
talk about this. Do you think it's ever okay to
refuse to ow?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You should help if you can and you're available. Why not?
Because they didn't do it for you, so I'm not
going to do it for you, and I'm not that
way great to me. If anything, I'll be like the martyr.
Of course I call them.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Susan, How do you feel want to come and take
care of my cats? I mean, I know you don't
have cats, but you know it's the same thing, all right.
Telling your mom after a stressful conversation that she needs
therapy and you're not her therapist. I think that's cruel.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
That is cruel to your mother. Yeah, I would maybe suggest
therapy if I thought it needed.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
But it's how you say it.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Delivery delivery, leaving the family group chat after one more
why are you still single? Comment?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Hell? I not would only leave a family chat, I'd
block them all.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I'd stay in there and just torture them. You tell
me why.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
No, Susan be sitting by.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
And then when you do find one, they got something
to say about that too. I can't.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
What did I tell you the other day? I'm saying
it too for all vaclination, What did I tell you?
This is your life. It's time you live your life.
For you, you've raised your kids. Live your life. For you,
and Susan's like, oh, but I live for everybody to
be happy. It's not possible. Everyone is not just.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
That they're struggling with Okay, Okay, go ahead, I'm just still.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
On the single comment. Okay. When confronted by a friend
as to why you guys don't hang out anymore, you
say we're not close because you were never emotionally available
growing up.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Why the hell says that?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
I mean, oh my god, I mean if if I
I'm of specially somehow close, because I mean, you've got
friends from when you grew up, I don't because you
live where you grew up, I don't.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
So and I choose not to hang out with some
of them because they're more negative people. I'm all about
the positive energy.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Yeah, I can't be well, but would you? And so
am I? But would you ever say to someone now
we're not close? Okay, Susan? When I call you tonight,
I was like, I don't want to be a friend
anymore because you have not been emotionally available.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Are emotionally available? We hear each other stories, we cry
with each other. I mean, yeah, we feel.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Each other's pain. It's just pathetic, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
What, Either people out there that would say these things
to me, I look at them like they're cold.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
You know what, I think some people are so self involved,
so egocentric. All they think about is themselves, what makes
them happy. They don't stop to think, how will this
make someone feel? You know, how will this make Susan feel?
If I say, they just blurt it out and they
(32:45):
don't and they don't care. And I will say, as
I've gotten older, I think when you're young, we all
say stuff. Well, we're much more aware. We don't blurt
things out like we used to.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Well, I still blurt them out well, but I still
during the conversation, I say, what's going on in your life?
You know, it's not just my phone call about me?
I mean, whoever you're talking to, you share and.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Well you're going. You're right now. Sometimes we both wort
things out, but we're either being funny or we're making jokes,
but not seriously do I what I ever call you
up and say what the hell is you know? Come on,
no one, you.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Weren't emotionally available for me, therefore.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
We're right, So we're done. You were an emotionally available
to me on that cruise we're going to take. So
you're done, You're dead to me.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
She better not gets sick.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
I'm going to buy Wait can we just say we're
going on a cruise together. Well, we're going to go
to Greece and Istambul, Turkey and and you know what
I'm doing, I'm loading up on c bands, drama, mean big.
I don't think on a big ship, I'll get sick. Right,
Please tell me no.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
No. If it's rough seas sometimes you feel it a
little bit. But no.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Okay, So I'm going to ask you so everyone can know.
Are you going to help me pack? What your brand?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
There we go? So you're going to have so many
clothes by the just bring it all, just bring everything.
I like choices. I love people that say I can
go in a backpack for a week.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
I go.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
How you wear the same think she does? Well, I
wash it, I go. But the whole idea of vacation.
I'm wearing your fun clothes.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
And all these people that buy these clothes that you
know you wash them out in their SPF fifty, I
mean they look like they just hit out in the
jungle for a month.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Wrinkle.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
You can throw it in your bag like oh oh
man and they wash it. Can I just tell you
what is poisoned to my ears? When someone goes on
vacation and I asked that question, they go, oh, I
just wash it out in the sink at night. I'm like,
I just gags me, like I wash it.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I've done it, though, if you can't get to a
washer and something, Susan.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
First of all, you bring enough clothes. You bring enough
clothes to dress the entire resort for a week, so
I get over. I'm just saying, like, can you imagine
travel with like that? Those travel pants that everybody.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Can It's not cute.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
I was going to say, six people can fit into
one pair.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
It's all about fashion, you know.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
And then if you want wear that dress, wait, I'm
gonna you know, I'm buying you for your birthday next year.
Those pants that unzip at the knee too. For one,
you get a pair of shorts.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
And I have them in my golf pants.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
I'd hiking pants like that. And when I hike, when
I go to a big bend or you know I.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Have it's cold in the morning, you wear the long
ones and then I unzip them.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I want to see you. I want to see that.
But anyway, this was Oh my god, that was so fun.
Is there anything else you haven't chatted about today that?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Oh no, I'm mending my arm. It's time to go
to physical therapy now and just doing the little have
me sore. It's this is taken for it.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
But you want to do them, Susan seriously, because when
I broke mine, he said to me, if you don't
do the exercises, it'll be deforment. It will never be
the same. You will not have movement in your rest
and you don't want that.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
No, I don't. Well, I want to thank everybody for
joining us today and listening, and what is your take
on some of these questions? What red flag rose? I
like roses?
Speaker 2 (36:14):
I know I like roses. I want lots of roses,
not one a bouquet a bouquet, but until I get
the bouquet. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as
we have new episodes coming out every week. We have
more episodes coming up with fan questions, we have more
great guests coming up. We're gonna hear about Susan's wrist
(36:37):
until it is healed. We're gonna hear about Susan's upcoming travels.
We're gonna you're gonna hear about our crews. It's all coming,
it's all coome.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Yes, we love sharing with you. Make sure to submit
your questions to us and what happens afterwards, and you
can go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour,
or you can DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Thanks for tuning in, guys, We look for over to
the next time YEP.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
In the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour
on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Till next time. Take care,
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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