April 9, 2025 • 34 mins
Today’s episode of “Golden Hour” is all about dating apps! You asked, and we delivered — we’re doing a two-part series to help you navigate online dating. We kick off the episode with some of Kathy and Susan’s dating app experiences and follow up with the question of the day: What are the biggest issues with dating apps today? Then, we hear from listeners who have found themselves in precarious situations on the apps. Plus, we start our workshop with the two biggest questions: What app should you be on and what pics should you use? Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us. We are so excited to be back. Coming
back every week is such a joy. How are you
doing today, Susan.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I'm doing wonderful, Still wishing I was in Saint Martin
and that nice, warm sun.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Let me just saying to everyone out there, you're going
to be hearing Susan saying this, oh probably until we
go back there next year, that she wishes she was back, insane.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I love it there, I love it there. So today
we will be answering more of our fan questions, So
make sure you keep submitting those. We love reading them,
we love talking about them, and we absolutely love when
you get back to us and let us know what
the outcome was. Just go to Bachelornation dot com slash
Golden Hour and just submit and we will get right
(00:55):
to it.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
So let me say one thing. When you and I
are out about people always say to us, will you
answer my question? I want to write in but I'm
afraid here we are telling you. Please send us your questions,
your updates. You can dm us at Instagram at ba'slor
Happy Hour. Send away your questions. We love answering them
(01:21):
today though, we have a really exciting conversation. We're going
to talk about all things dating apps. Oh, good people,
Oh dating apps. Where do we even begin, Susan, I
don't even know generally, what's your thought on dating apps?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Okay, first of all, I'd like to open my own
business to help people, especially men, tak theirself.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
We're going to get to them. We're going to get
to that. But in general, what do you think of
dating apps? Do you think they're good? Do you think
they're what?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Are you there?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Well?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I've had some luck and then not so much. I
think it's the way of the world in this error
that we're in twenty twenty five. That's what everybody does.
It's more difficult to meet people organically. I think it
was a good thing for a lot of people. I
do weddings, as you know, and I've married, so nine
out of ten of them met on a dating app.
(02:15):
So yes, I think they work.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Okay, I think they can work. But I also think
that people are trying to get back to organic meetings.
So you know, you're not just looking at a picture.
But let's start with our question of the day, because
that's going to really get us into really what we
want to talk about here. Well, wait first, before we
get into that, I have one more question for you.
(02:39):
Have you ever seriously dated a guy you met on
a dating app?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Definitely?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
For how long?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
The longest one was three and a half years?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Oh, dear heavens, that's a marriage. Three and a half.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
No, it's not a marriage.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Well, three and a half years, you know, it's a
long time.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Real, it's a long time. Somebody else I met on
a dating app was two years.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Really Okay, So the question of the day is actually
my question, which is what do you think are the
biggest problems with dating apps right now? And I want
to start it off by saying, I think there's so
much more to dating than a swipe or a click,
And yet we have been bludgeoned to death about looks.
(03:25):
So we see a picture, no not him? Well, I
just think that's the problem with dating apps. There's so
many choices. It comes down to, oh, does he look
good or does she look good?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It's about a picture, right, and if you didn't take
a good picture, they're going to get swiped by. I
was talking about this earlier with someone, and it's so
nice to meet somebody organically through a friend or whatever,
not even set up on a date and just get
to know somebody. They might not be as handsome as
you wanted, but you got to know their personality and
(03:57):
you could end up really falling for somebody like that.
When you're on a dating app, it's about eye candy.
I mean, if somebody you pause on then you go
down to read about that.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
That's susan dating. But here's the thing. You're only if
you're going to be with someone for a lifetime, they're
going to change, right. Their looks are going to change,
absolutely so.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And that's the struggle at my age when you're going
through the pictures, you know, they don't look like they
used to look either, do I I get it right?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
And so but to your point, there's so much more
to dating than just what the person looks like. But
I'm but I'm going to say it straight up. For me,
even at my age of twenty nine, I still have
to be physically attracted to the person. So before what
(04:49):
I would would have said, Oh I want a date
a guy who's six', two you, Know NOW i did
a guy who's five to. TEN i Mean i'm five, eight,
Right but it's about a, look and If i'm not
attracted to them, Physically i'm going to.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
STRUGGLE i would have to want to kiss. Somebody but
WHO i find attractive the next person might, not you
know WHAT i, mean that's just in the eye of the.
Behold but What i'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Is if you the biggest problem with the dating apps
for me is there's so many of. Them ALTHOUGH i
did my research on this whole. THING i, mean we'll
get into. It but according to some people THAT i
interviewed who were in their, thirties they, said you, know
everybody's on every dating, app so you know you don't
(05:34):
have to go on three or four of. Them and in,
fact you, know if you're on, one you're looking at
pretty much everything that's out. There but, again you're not getting.
Down you're not scrolling down to find out who they're really.
About is they even say what they're really. About you're
just looking at a. Picture, WELL i.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Have two problems with the dating. Apps, one there's so
many fake, profiles oh for, sure AND i could tell
you who they are just. Boom there's a lot of
Foreign they'll use the WORD m instead OF i. Am
they'll SAY m going OR M i can't call. Them,
(06:13):
yeah it's.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Crazy well the. Grammar the grammar is a big. Kickoff
the other one is the. Pictures you can tell they're
like gluten paste it or. Whatever but that's but fake
people were, everywhere, Right so what's your other?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Problem but that's a problem though a lot of women
fall for that attention and they want to get to
know you right. AWAY i MEAN i could pretty much
read through, it. Okay and the other problem is they
might be really nice guys and they don't have anybody
to take their picture and they're doing a selfie in the,
Bathroom like that is the worst picture. Ever.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, well LIKE i, said we're going to get into
how to help people on dating. Ups but, again how
sad is that that a guy who might be a
fabulous guy made a stupid decision to take a picture
of himself shirtless with a baseball cap on, backwards holding
a beer in one hand a dead fish and the
other in the. Bathroom like how many That i'm? SAYING
(07:09):
i was grouping all the wrong things together in one,
Sentence BUT i think that it's Just and then you've
got the distance, thing like do you just want to date?
Someone how far you can put.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Your mileage in you but you know, what do you
want to?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Drive, well in your, case do you want to drive
fifty miles for a? Date you, KNOW i don't really.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
WANT i, MEAN i, mean they're not all in your. Hometown,
baby you got got to give a.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Little i'm willing to give a. Little But i'm saying
dating apps don't make it easy because there's you know
WHAT i wish they would. DO i just had a brilliant.
IDEA i just had a brilliant. Idea what if you
recorded a live you know they? Have they, do, Absolutely
(07:57):
i've never seen. It, yes they do choose not. To
i've Never i've never in all the dead and Apps
i've been, on really.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And you can view them and hear them talk and
some of them are, funny some of them are more.
Serious all, Right, well everybody, tries you. Know but it
is a good thing, too BECAUSE i don't know what
the percentage would. Be but LIKE i, said so many
people fall in. Love my daughter got married from a
dating app and the PEOPLE i married them interviewing for
(08:30):
a wedding that they were here last. Night they met On.
Tinder it's like amazing. MATCH i, mean so many of,
them and then others can't find. Anybody my worst thing
was going back on after a three year a break from,
them and the same people are in. THERE i, know.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
But you know what they're send out about?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Us yeah, Right i'm, back all.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Right before we get into dissecting the dad and, apps
which we are going to, DO i had to answer
some fan. Questions we're going to be giving our advice
as always, so but first we want to read a
dating app horror story that was written into. Us oh,
boy that's going to get us. Started, Okay kathy, Writes
just to be, clear it is not This. Kathy it
(09:17):
is A kathy that wrote. In it was my first
time putting myself back out there and agreeing to an
in person. Date we had been chatting through a dating
app for a couple of, weeks AND i agreed to
meet for. DINNER i made arrangements for my, son then
headed back into town for. Dinner WHEN i, arrived he
(09:39):
was drunk and was not the person in the photos he.
Used he used his quote better looking friends. PHOTOS i
was so. UPSET i sat down and told him not
to speak to. ME i told him this for inconveniencing.
Me i'd be ordering the most expensive meal and maybe eat.
(10:01):
Half i'd order a bottle of wine and only have
a glass BECAUSE i was, driving AND i would be
ordered dessert but only have one. Bite THEN i would.
Leave the waitress gave me a high five and a
hug WHEN i walked. Out fifteen years, LATER i can
laugh about. It WHAT i THINK i think THAT i
(10:22):
think HER i give her great. Kudos what do you
THINK i sent to? Humor, yeah, man to screw. YOU
i don't think she. Said, REMEMBER i think she was
furious she'd had it to say That i'm going to do.
This i'm going to do.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
This the guy was not going to stand for. That
he's a drunk ass, loser get up and.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Leave, well that's funny you say, that that's exactly WHAT
i would have. DONE i wouldn't have said what she.
SAID i Probably i'd probably counsel.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Him, really, dude really really brought me all the way out.
Here and this is how.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
You show, trumps not even. Drunk, yeah you can't talk
to her. Drunk rule that. Awful never to a drunk,
which by the, WAY i Normally i'm very, polite AND
i would normally have sat down and had a drink
and then, said you, know this isn't what da da da,
dada but a DRUNK i. Wouldn't i'm not. Staying i'm
(11:15):
out of. HERE i wouldn't have sat, down ordered, dinner, wine.
DESSERT i wouldn't have done, it would.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
YOU i wouldn't have entertained? It absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Not.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
NO i MEAN i like, her she. DID i like your, style,
HONEY i like your. Style BUT i don't know why
it took you fifteen years to laugh about. It you
should laugh on the way.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
HOME i was laughing reading. That but you, KNOW i.
WONDER i wonder if she's. Married. NOW i, Wonder, kathy
are you? Married are you in a? RELATIONSHIP i, mean
what's the Day i'll tell? Us we want to know
what app was?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
It SO i don't go on?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
It oh? Please you know that's the other. Thing he's
probably on every. App Oh, god all.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Right this one's FROM cc and she's thirty. Eight, Hi
kathy And. SUSAN i WISH i didn't have to be writing,
this but here we, are AND i need your. Advice
my parents have been married for thirty, years and my
dad was recently out of town on a work. Trip
my friend who lives in the city where he was
visiting for work sent me a very upsetting. Screenshot oh,
(12:26):
god his profile on a dating. App i'm certain it
wasn't a cat fish because the photos are only pictures
he would, have they aren't elsewhere. Online and he did
the voice memos See kathy the voice memos prompt and
it's his. Voice my question, is what THE f DO i?
(12:50):
Do DO i confront my? Dad DO i tell my?
Mom advices both needed and appreciate. It thank, you, ladies
love you. BOTH i can tell you SOMETIMES.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I think you AND i are becoming each, other BECAUSE
i honestly thought you were gonna, say tell her, mother
AND i was gonna have to, Say, susan, no, No,
SUSAN i don't know my father and let him. KNOW i,
Know i'd let him know so quickly. Caught but REALLY
i would say the same. THING i would do the same.
(13:27):
Thing and you know what my advice would, Be tell your,
father tell him to make it, right figure it. Out
if he wants to get out of the, marriage get
out of the, marriage but don't do what he's. Doing
and THEN i would shut the f up and say.
NOTHING i would never tell my. Mother every YEARS i
don't know then WOULD i, THOUGH i, mean it's the same.
(13:48):
Thing would you tell your daughter's.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Other stories your? Mother so wait a, Minute so the
guy her, friend the town that their dad went, to
that's where he saw it and took a screenshot of.
It why does that man think that screen that his
profile is not going to show up everywhere in his
hometown even you, know why does he think it was
(14:12):
safe to be there and do? It that's?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Crazy aren't there some apps that you can just do
in a PARTICULAR i think you. Can you can set
the parameters just for.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
There so his, Wife, oh but the likelihood of it
coming up when he gets home and that phone.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Notes where you? AT i honestly, thinks, WELL i think
there are apps that you can just set a, location
BECAUSE i, DO i really. Do and you know, what
that is absolutely. Superfluous say that three times quickly to the.
Conversation the guy's a, cheater and he's cheating and he.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Does trying to cheat. Anyhow, Oh i'm so, sorry.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Sweetie i'm talk to your.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Dad let him. Know give that a disgrace and you're
not proud of. Him, Boy either get it down or tell.
Mom let him Tell. Mom he's not going to tell.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Mom he's not telling.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Mom obviously he wants to cheat and he needs to.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Go you think. What i'm. Sorry we're going to back
up for a minute just to help me here while
just stay with. Me WHY i talk To. Susan, susan
he is not going to fess up to his. Wife
he's secretly on a dating.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
App, okay but he wants to, cheat, Right he wants
to get a test to cheat, Somebody so then make
your end your. Marriage you don't get to do that
and stay.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Married guess why cheating sometimes is an exit. Strategy not
THAT i. Approve, OKAY, cec talk to your, dad give him,
hell tell him to grow up and either you, know
get off the dating apps or if he's that, unhappy
they need to get into counseling or they need to you,
(15:54):
know do the BIG. D but don't let him do.
That that's embarrassing to.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Him and don't tell, mom.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
And don't tell. Mom we wish you. Luck let US
knowe see what. Happens, Okay, anonymous, Rights hi, LADIES i
have a bit of a crazy. Question first of, All,
anonymous there are no crazy, questions, Okay And i'm wondering
what you'd. THINK i met this guy On hinge and
he seems really. Great he's been super nice and we've
(16:21):
been talking every day for the past two. Weeks this
week has all been via, text so we finally got
off the app over FaceTime this. Week he said he
wanted to fly me out To hawaii next, week all expenses.
PAID i was so excited UNTIL i told my friends
and they freaked. Out they're worried that he's creepy and
(16:41):
THAT i shouldn't fly across the country to see him
after only talking to him. ONLINE i think he seems,
fun But i've only known him for two. Weeks what
do you THINK i should? Do is there any WAY
i can, go like IF i ask him some. QUESTIONS
i really want a free, trip. Honestly. Lol thanks. Ladies,
okay this is so, easy Because, Susan i've been in this,
(17:02):
situation HAVEN'T. I.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yes first of, all you got a FaceTime and make
sure that the person is who you think you exactly
well she said over FaceTime this.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Week, okay but were you facetiming or was it just FaceTime.
Chat there's a, Difference so you be a, person. Right
have you seen HIM i. WOULD i would IF i
were you, anonymous get his cell, number pay For verify
whatever it is been verified, verifying do a background check on.
Him it's worth the whatever you, pay especially if you're
(17:35):
getting a free trip To. Hawaii don't just hop on
a plane and go To hawaii for a guy you
don't know who he.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
IS i would also want to know the arrangements as
to would she have her own hotel? Rooms, OH i
just assume that her to go to his. HOME i,
mean what what accommodations are going to be for?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Me, well that is a no. BRAINER i would assume. That,
hell you can't. Assume, yeah there is an ass in
the word.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Assume, Okay, okay all, like if you're both feeling something
and you want to, go, go let people know where
you're going to, be phone numbers and so.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
On. Okay but on the other, hand you, know if
something happens like that long, ago remember that girl that
disappeared In, ARUBA i, THINK i, mean what good does
it do if somebody knows where you are if they
can't get to.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
You it's a chance to.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Take but do you take that chance after knowing someone two?
Weeks would?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
You it depends on who it WAS i guess or
HOW i. Felt, mmm, Well i'll tell you, this and
is it first? CLASS i, mean.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
You, know you know WHAT i? Do you? Know here's
WHAT i didn't hear in. This she said he's super.
Nice she, GOES i really want a free? Trip is
that really why you? Want i'm not hearing that you're
into the free.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Trip you're not going to be able to do your
own thing, Anyhow you're going.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
To be with this.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Person you're going to be with, him you know that's
the Silly but If i'm not interested in?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Him but are you hearing? That i'm not seeing that
in this, Question she's.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Worried about her friends freaking.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Out, well can she should be.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
All expenses? Paid he wanted to fly me. OUT i
was so. Excited here's WHAT i told my. Friend they
freak that they worry that he's creepy AND i shouldn't
fly across the cure's do you want to get? To
what questions is she going to ask him that's going
to make her feel?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
BETTER i don't know what does he do for a
living or does he have? Siblings about his? Parents why
is he living In? Hawaii where's he? From get a
lot more, conversation going chit chat for a, month and
then see after a, month see if he's still, There
see if he still wants to chat with.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Him, yeah he might wait a little. LONGER i would.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Wait, Longer. ANONYMOUS i, REALLY i wouldn't do anything with
a guy after two, weeks even if you said to,
Me i'm in. LOVE i think he's. GREAT i didn't
expect this. HAPPENED i would, say if you haven't met,
him you don't. Know you just know what he's like on.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Text you, REALLY i, mean in today's, world it is
kind of, scary but it's exciting at the same. Time
and just keep talking to. Him so, YEAH i might
let you do.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
That let's give it a little bit and Keep, yeah
let's give it some more. Time and you know, What,
anonymous if he pressures you to, go he's not a good, guy,
right that's a red. Flag you agree or?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Not, Yes, absolutely he shouldn't pressure. Her you should give
her as much time as she, needs all, Right so
fass still be, there that's. Right let him know if
you went anous Plan, anonymous do not.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Go. Now listen To, Kathy i'm beating your. Mother so
she decides to do. IT i want to, Know, well
we want to know if you do it a couple
of months from. Now we want to hear.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
That now it's a couple of months before it was a.
Month she's changing her to. People i'm paying attention.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Here you know. What safety has no, Limits. Susan safety
has no.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Letue but a similar situation happened with you and you
were thinking ABOUT.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I was thinking about.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
It what? Appened you weren't wanting.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Like the.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
CONNECTION i don't think you felt too much of a,
connection and you were.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Scared you were. Scared so you know WHAT i. Listened
that's Something. Anonymous listen to your. Intuition if you don't have,
any listen to your friend's. Intuition, okay wist she. Loved be.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Careful let us know a.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Right so, Today, susan guess WHAT i have great news for.
You we're not doing a. Game we're not doing a.
Game how do you know we're? Not but we're doing
something that you AND i have discussed so. Much we're
going to do a dating app. Workshop if we.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Should into, Business i'm dead.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Serious you AND i know With Bachelor, nation we have
talked so much about what is? Wrong how we would
change dating. Apps what's wrong with?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Them we have, tips we have, tricks we have. Stories
we're going to share all of this so you can
find that special someone, else although we didn't find them
for us.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yet, well but you know, what that's the. Point if
you're doing it the right, way then you're looking for
the right, one not. Someone we're not looking for what is.
It we're not looking for today's. Man we're looking for you,
know our final whatever it.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
IS i never heard that one.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Looking for a. Guy we're not looking for a. Guy
we're looking for the. Guy, okay that.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
One works a little. BETTER i just want to find my,
person damn, it the person that's.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Waif for two. Weeks that's my best advice for. You All,
right here we, go let's. Go we're gonna, say step by,
STEP i just want to be in same. Movie, okay
we're gonna go step by. Step we are seriously going
(23:16):
to break down our do's and. Don'ts, okay making your
profile and using the. Apps, okay let's start with step,
one which is choosing an. App, okay so the big
three are for younger. PEOPLE i would Add match for,
us but younger people don't typically Use match but the
(23:36):
big three Are, Hinge, bumble and. Tender now for, me
And i'm, SERIOUS i talked to some people about, This
tinder used to be a. Hookup it was like you
want steps to get. On i'm saying it used to.
Be that's past. Tense DO i just say In? French
that is past. Tense bumble is the one where the women,
swipe And hinge is the red so they, say the
(24:01):
one where they try to build. Connection where they try
to build, connection which is just some great marketing. Ploy
BUT i think that theoretically this is just my. Opinion
i'm curious what you, Think. Bumble you, know women have to, initiate,
right so they. Swipe, okay so the woman, swipes but
(24:26):
the guy has to swipe. Back and some of the
thirty year OLDS i talked, TO i JUST i have
to read it BECAUSE i was just blown away by
what they were saying to.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Me.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Women this is not. Me this is what these girls
THAT i chatted with were telling. Me, women and they're
in their, thirties women have to make them first move On,
Bumble and she said they said it was like a
group of. Girls guys, think oh she's really into, me
and men love the. Chase they, said so it becomes
(24:59):
less desire rable On bumble because there's no chase because
the woman already, Swiped, Hey i'm interested in. You and
SO i, said so what do you do and some
of them, said, well you, know you have twenty four
hours to reach. Out i'm strictly talking About bumble right.
Now and so they said they, wait they wait for
the last, hour, like don't get your you, know don't
get so excited, here like as a last minute, think oh,
(25:21):
Yeah i'll reach out to, you WHICH i thought was
really interesting that men's in.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Their, opinion this is a woman's. Opinion you talk to, women.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Well a group of, women, yeah and then all, women
all women because women swipe On, bumble. Okay and Then
tinder they were, saying you, know that was a low stakes,
app it was a hook, up so you, know the general,
psychology this is a, quote the general psychology of. Men
(25:50):
they like the, chase and men are attracted to women
they can't. Have and my mouth was dropping when they
were saying.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
That that's been said for one hundred.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
YEARS i, know but we're talking about apps and how
it works on the, apps. Right so On tinder they
were saying men had to work harder to get their
attention where, bumble you, know they, swiped but then they
had to wait for the. Men and of course you,
know younger people are not on. Match and then they
talked a little bit about some of the invitation only
(26:26):
like the league In rayah and they were, saying you,
know those men they don't like because that's by invitation
only those websites and they were, saying, yeah those guys
think their step above so but we're not going to be.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Harmony there's so, many there's so many. Blah but so
first of, ALL i think you need to decide if
you want to pay or get a free. One now
there's even On tinder and all of these to get
to see who liked, you you have to, pay.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Well you don't you so remember it's a it's a, business.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Right, yeah, Absolutely i'd like to have one really to get.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
The high end stuff you have to. Pay But i've
been on the apps that where you don't have to,
pay Like tinder and some of, them and, yeah AND
i get enough people reaching, out BUT i do find
the same guys on. There what are your favorite, Apps.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
SUSAN i don't have a favorite BUT i hate them,
all but they do come in, handy they come in.
HERE i just hate choosing by a, PICTURE i really.
DO i feel LIKE i don't give somebody the benefit
of the doubt that he might not take a great
picture and he might be a great.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Guy all, Right well let's, Okay so let's start at
the beginning. Here when you when you first go on
a dating, app you've got to build a, profile, Right
so first you got to choose your. APP i would
say to you choose.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
No matter what app you, choose it's about the. PROFILE i.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Know but But i'm, saying DO i think people should
go on three or four? Apps? NO i think pick
one or two and and and work with that because
it does become like a full time. Job. Scroll so you,
know pick pick one or two. Apps that's my first.
Advice all, Right then you got to build a. Profile
and here's where we get into. It oh, boy, okay
(28:22):
pictures tell me the, pictures not the, pictures but the
kinds of pictures you should.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Choose you would definitely do a couple, headshots maybe doing an,
activity and definitely most definitely a full body. Shot maybe
that is playing golf or whatever activity you chose or
walk in you're playing with your dog or, whatever but
they want to see who you.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Are, YEAH i THINK i think a good start to
building a profile is five or six. Pictures one is
a close up. Headshot it goes without, saying But i'm
going to say. It, Please Dear, god do not use old.
Pictures you the pictures you should be no more than
a year. Old no more than a year. Old put
(29:05):
up pictures of you if you like to, wait, lift
you like to, kayak you like.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
To, ski doing, something put up pictures of.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Things you like to, do because, that's you, know that's
what's going to attract. Someone, oh this guy is not
a couch. Potato don't put.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
A picture of you in a group even three. People
you don't know which one you, are that's. Exactly And
i've run into that a, lot like who is it?
WHAT i don't even know who you are exactly and
that's the only. Picture, Yeah so pictures are, important and
you want to picture you feel is your best.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Shot.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Ye do not take selfies in a bathroom.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Wait can you? Wait Stop? Susan how do you repeat?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
That? Please do, NOT i, repeat take a selfie in
the bathroom room.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Tacky, ever and For god's, sakes, men keep your, shirt
your clothes, on put your keep your clothes. On do
not hold up. BEERS i live in tech WHERE i don't.
Know tell me guys think it's really cool to take
off their, shirts pull up a can of beer or
a dead fish or.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Both how about the big? Fish but what that tells
me is that's what they like to. Do they're proud
of that because they caught this big. Fish to, me
it's not SOMETHING i don't like. Fishing so, yeah WHATEVER i,
MEAN i will pass that.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
One.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah but so you, know want to entice, Somebody you
want somebody to take a closer look and look at
all your, Pictures so do something sweet and LIKE i,
said show all of you and try to incorporate in
your pictures your personality.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Right which you know can be. DIFFICULT i think sometimes
it's good to have a black and white photo show
that you know you're a little. Creative don't have all the.
Pictures maybe angle some of the, photos you, know put
a caption off of, you do some. Highlighting if you
don't want to do, it ask one of your kids
or a friend and to help you make the picture look.
(31:02):
Interesting because they're too.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Sexy because they'll get the wrong. Impression SO i can't
believe you just said. THAT i want to tell you
about a friend of mine who is. Single she is
fifty two years. Old she is a BODY i would kill.
Four she's very pretty and exactly. That she said to, Me,
kathy would you.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Look at my? PROFILE i, said, sure she, goes Because
i'm attracting the wrong kinds of, GUYS i, said. SURE
i looked at her. Profile, SUSAN i almost. Died this
woman is a school. Teacher she's, lovely she's lots of.
Fun BUT i mean her pictures made her look like
she was looking for a. Hookup And i'm going to
(31:45):
change her. Name i'm going to call Her. Sally sally,
SAID i, Said, sally what are you? Doing look at this?
Picture she, goes WHAT i, said what you look like
you're inviting the wrong kind of, Guy and she, GOES
i never thought about it that. WAY i, said we'll
start thinking about it that. Way and so she took
down all her pictures and we redid. Them because, guys
(32:08):
when you're creating a, profile you know who you. Are
susan knows WHO i. AM i know Who susan, is
but people looking at us on the internet, don't and
all they have to go by initially are those. Photos
so you want to make yourself look as.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Attractive SOMETIMES i think women need that, Attention they want that,
attention so they do put these sexy pictures. Up, well
then don't get me. Surprised if you're looking for, that then.
Fine but if you're serious and you want to find
a good, guy.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah you, know if you're showing with a making it.
Up but if you're putting yourself out there as a
woman in a wet t, shirt you, Know And i'm just,
saying that's what you're going to. Attract, guys if you
put yourself out there looking like you're a, bumpkin you're
going to tracked female. Bumpkinetts. Whatever you attract what you
(33:05):
put out. There AM i?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Wrong, no, no, no, no not at. All and that's
just the picture.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Part that's just the, pictures, Folks so spend the time
cultivating a good five or six.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Pictures, also, yes good, Point, kathy don't put just one
picture oh never people need to see Because i've seen
so many that oh, oh and Then i'm going through
and by the time you get to the fourth, picture
he's forty years. Older why are you putting yourself up
there at twenty when you're, Forty.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Well you could see what it's. Always let me just
also say it's a dead. Giveaway when they've taken a
photo of a photo of them when they were, twenty
the pictures sort of frayed and, crinkled like you're not pooling.
Anybody get take those pictures. Down this is WHAT i
used to look like. Now but you know WHAT i
want to. Say, yeah AND i used to be at
(33:58):
five to ten in a. Model i'm not.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Anymore, Well, KATHY i think we spent all our. TIME
i think this is going to have to have a part.
Two what do you?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
THINK i think we have lots more to, say.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Absolutely so stay. Tuned we will have a part two.
Coming smoo
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us. We are so excited to be back. Coming
back every week is such a joy. How are you
doing today, Susan.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I'm doing wonderful, Still wishing I was in Saint Martin
and that nice, warm sun.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Let me just saying to everyone out there, you're going
to be hearing Susan saying this, oh probably until we
go back there next year, that she wishes she was back, insane.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I love it there, I love it there. So today
we will be answering more of our fan questions, So
make sure you keep submitting those. We love reading them,
we love talking about them, and we absolutely love when
you get back to us and let us know what
the outcome was. Just go to Bachelornation dot com slash
Golden Hour and just submit and we will get right
(00:55):
to it.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
So let me say one thing. When you and I
are out about people always say to us, will you
answer my question? I want to write in but I'm
afraid here we are telling you. Please send us your questions,
your updates. You can dm us at Instagram at ba'slor
Happy Hour. Send away your questions. We love answering them
(01:21):
today though, we have a really exciting conversation. We're going
to talk about all things dating apps. Oh, good people,
Oh dating apps. Where do we even begin, Susan, I
don't even know generally, what's your thought on dating apps?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Okay, first of all, I'd like to open my own
business to help people, especially men, tak theirself.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
We're going to get to them. We're going to get
to that. But in general, what do you think of
dating apps? Do you think they're good? Do you think
they're what?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Are you there?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Well?
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I've had some luck and then not so much. I
think it's the way of the world in this error
that we're in twenty twenty five. That's what everybody does.
It's more difficult to meet people organically. I think it
was a good thing for a lot of people. I
do weddings, as you know, and I've married, so nine
out of ten of them met on a dating app.
(02:15):
So yes, I think they work.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Okay, I think they can work. But I also think
that people are trying to get back to organic meetings.
So you know, you're not just looking at a picture.
But let's start with our question of the day, because
that's going to really get us into really what we
want to talk about here. Well, wait first, before we
get into that, I have one more question for you.
(02:39):
Have you ever seriously dated a guy you met on
a dating app?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Definitely?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
For how long?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
The longest one was three and a half years?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Oh, dear heavens, that's a marriage. Three and a half.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
No, it's not a marriage.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Well, three and a half years, you know, it's a
long time.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Real, it's a long time. Somebody else I met on
a dating app was two years.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Really Okay, So the question of the day is actually
my question, which is what do you think are the
biggest problems with dating apps right now? And I want
to start it off by saying, I think there's so
much more to dating than a swipe or a click,
And yet we have been bludgeoned to death about looks.
(03:25):
So we see a picture, no not him? Well, I
just think that's the problem with dating apps. There's so
many choices. It comes down to, oh, does he look
good or does she look good?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It's about a picture, right, and if you didn't take
a good picture, they're going to get swiped by. I
was talking about this earlier with someone, and it's so
nice to meet somebody organically through a friend or whatever,
not even set up on a date and just get
to know somebody. They might not be as handsome as
you wanted, but you got to know their personality and
(03:57):
you could end up really falling for somebody like that.
When you're on a dating app, it's about eye candy.
I mean, if somebody you pause on then you go
down to read about that.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
That's susan dating. But here's the thing. You're only if
you're going to be with someone for a lifetime, they're
going to change, right. Their looks are going to change,
absolutely so.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And that's the struggle at my age when you're going
through the pictures, you know, they don't look like they
used to look either, do I I get it right?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
And so but to your point, there's so much more
to dating than just what the person looks like. But
I'm but I'm going to say it straight up. For me,
even at my age of twenty nine, I still have
to be physically attracted to the person. So before what
(04:49):
I would would have said, Oh I want a date
a guy who's six', two you, Know NOW i did
a guy who's five to. TEN i Mean i'm five, eight,
Right but it's about a, look and If i'm not
attracted to them, Physically i'm going to.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
STRUGGLE i would have to want to kiss. Somebody but
WHO i find attractive the next person might, not you
know WHAT i, mean that's just in the eye of the.
Behold but What i'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Is if you the biggest problem with the dating apps
for me is there's so many of. Them ALTHOUGH i
did my research on this whole. THING i, mean we'll
get into. It but according to some people THAT i
interviewed who were in their, thirties they, said you, know
everybody's on every dating, app so you know you don't
(05:34):
have to go on three or four of. Them and in,
fact you, know if you're on, one you're looking at
pretty much everything that's out. There but, again you're not getting.
Down you're not scrolling down to find out who they're really.
About is they even say what they're really. About you're
just looking at a. Picture, WELL i.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Have two problems with the dating. Apps, one there's so
many fake, profiles oh for, sure AND i could tell
you who they are just. Boom there's a lot of
Foreign they'll use the WORD m instead OF i. Am
they'll SAY m going OR M i can't call. Them,
(06:13):
yeah it's.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Crazy well the. Grammar the grammar is a big. Kickoff
the other one is the. Pictures you can tell they're
like gluten paste it or. Whatever but that's but fake
people were, everywhere, Right so what's your other?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Problem but that's a problem though a lot of women
fall for that attention and they want to get to
know you right. AWAY i MEAN i could pretty much
read through, it. Okay and the other problem is they
might be really nice guys and they don't have anybody
to take their picture and they're doing a selfie in the,
Bathroom like that is the worst picture. Ever.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, well LIKE i, said we're going to get into
how to help people on dating. Ups but, again how
sad is that that a guy who might be a
fabulous guy made a stupid decision to take a picture
of himself shirtless with a baseball cap on, backwards holding
a beer in one hand a dead fish and the
other in the. Bathroom like how many That i'm? SAYING
(07:09):
i was grouping all the wrong things together in one,
Sentence BUT i think that it's Just and then you've
got the distance, thing like do you just want to date?
Someone how far you can put.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Your mileage in you but you know, what do you
want to?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Drive, well in your, case do you want to drive
fifty miles for a? Date you, KNOW i don't really.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
WANT i, MEAN i, mean they're not all in your. Hometown,
baby you got got to give a.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Little i'm willing to give a. Little But i'm saying
dating apps don't make it easy because there's you know
WHAT i wish they would. DO i just had a brilliant.
IDEA i just had a brilliant. Idea what if you
recorded a live you know they? Have they, do, Absolutely
(07:57):
i've never seen. It, yes they do choose not. To
i've Never i've never in all the dead and Apps
i've been, on really.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And you can view them and hear them talk and
some of them are, funny some of them are more.
Serious all, Right, well everybody, tries you. Know but it
is a good thing, too BECAUSE i don't know what
the percentage would. Be but LIKE i, said so many
people fall in. Love my daughter got married from a
dating app and the PEOPLE i married them interviewing for
(08:30):
a wedding that they were here last. Night they met On.
Tinder it's like amazing. MATCH i, mean so many of,
them and then others can't find. Anybody my worst thing
was going back on after a three year a break from,
them and the same people are in. THERE i, know.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
But you know what they're send out about?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Us yeah, Right i'm, back all.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Right before we get into dissecting the dad and, apps
which we are going to, DO i had to answer
some fan. Questions we're going to be giving our advice
as always, so but first we want to read a
dating app horror story that was written into. Us oh,
boy that's going to get us. Started, Okay kathy, Writes
just to be, clear it is not This. Kathy it
(09:17):
is A kathy that wrote. In it was my first
time putting myself back out there and agreeing to an
in person. Date we had been chatting through a dating
app for a couple of, weeks AND i agreed to
meet for. DINNER i made arrangements for my, son then
headed back into town for. Dinner WHEN i, arrived he
(09:39):
was drunk and was not the person in the photos he.
Used he used his quote better looking friends. PHOTOS i
was so. UPSET i sat down and told him not
to speak to. ME i told him this for inconveniencing.
Me i'd be ordering the most expensive meal and maybe eat.
(10:01):
Half i'd order a bottle of wine and only have
a glass BECAUSE i was, driving AND i would be
ordered dessert but only have one. Bite THEN i would.
Leave the waitress gave me a high five and a
hug WHEN i walked. Out fifteen years, LATER i can
laugh about. It WHAT i THINK i think THAT i
(10:22):
think HER i give her great. Kudos what do you
THINK i sent to? Humor, yeah, man to screw. YOU
i don't think she. Said, REMEMBER i think she was
furious she'd had it to say That i'm going to do.
This i'm going to do.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
This the guy was not going to stand for. That
he's a drunk ass, loser get up and.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Leave, well that's funny you say, that that's exactly WHAT
i would have. DONE i wouldn't have said what she.
SAID i Probably i'd probably counsel.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Him, really, dude really really brought me all the way out.
Here and this is how.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
You show, trumps not even. Drunk, yeah you can't talk
to her. Drunk rule that. Awful never to a drunk,
which by the, WAY i Normally i'm very, polite AND
i would normally have sat down and had a drink
and then, said you, know this isn't what da da da,
dada but a DRUNK i. Wouldn't i'm not. Staying i'm
(11:15):
out of. HERE i wouldn't have sat, down ordered, dinner, wine.
DESSERT i wouldn't have done, it would.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
YOU i wouldn't have entertained? It absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Not.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
NO i MEAN i like, her she. DID i like your, style,
HONEY i like your. Style BUT i don't know why
it took you fifteen years to laugh about. It you
should laugh on the way.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
HOME i was laughing reading. That but you, KNOW i.
WONDER i wonder if she's. Married. NOW i, Wonder, kathy
are you? Married are you in a? RELATIONSHIP i, mean
what's the Day i'll tell? Us we want to know
what app was?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
It SO i don't go on?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
It oh? Please you know that's the other. Thing he's
probably on every. App Oh, god all.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Right this one's FROM cc and she's thirty. Eight, Hi
kathy And. SUSAN i WISH i didn't have to be writing,
this but here we, are AND i need your. Advice
my parents have been married for thirty, years and my
dad was recently out of town on a work. Trip
my friend who lives in the city where he was
visiting for work sent me a very upsetting. Screenshot oh,
(12:26):
god his profile on a dating. App i'm certain it
wasn't a cat fish because the photos are only pictures
he would, have they aren't elsewhere. Online and he did
the voice memos See kathy the voice memos prompt and
it's his. Voice my question, is what THE f DO i?
(12:50):
Do DO i confront my? Dad DO i tell my?
Mom advices both needed and appreciate. It thank, you, ladies
love you. BOTH i can tell you SOMETIMES.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I think you AND i are becoming each, other BECAUSE
i honestly thought you were gonna, say tell her, mother
AND i was gonna have to, Say, susan, no, No,
SUSAN i don't know my father and let him. KNOW i,
Know i'd let him know so quickly. Caught but REALLY
i would say the same. THING i would do the same.
(13:27):
Thing and you know what my advice would, Be tell your,
father tell him to make it, right figure it. Out
if he wants to get out of the, marriage get
out of the, marriage but don't do what he's. Doing
and THEN i would shut the f up and say.
NOTHING i would never tell my. Mother every YEARS i
don't know then WOULD i, THOUGH i, mean it's the same.
(13:48):
Thing would you tell your daughter's.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Other stories your? Mother so wait a, Minute so the
guy her, friend the town that their dad went, to
that's where he saw it and took a screenshot of.
It why does that man think that screen that his
profile is not going to show up everywhere in his
hometown even you, know why does he think it was
(14:12):
safe to be there and do? It that's?
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Crazy aren't there some apps that you can just do
in a PARTICULAR i think you. Can you can set
the parameters just for.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
There so his, Wife, oh but the likelihood of it
coming up when he gets home and that phone.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Notes where you? AT i honestly, thinks, WELL i think
there are apps that you can just set a, location
BECAUSE i, DO i really. Do and you know, what
that is absolutely. Superfluous say that three times quickly to the.
Conversation the guy's a, cheater and he's cheating and he.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Does trying to cheat. Anyhow, Oh i'm so, sorry.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Sweetie i'm talk to your.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Dad let him. Know give that a disgrace and you're
not proud of. Him, Boy either get it down or tell.
Mom let him Tell. Mom he's not going to tell.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Mom he's not telling.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Mom obviously he wants to cheat and he needs to.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Go you think. What i'm. Sorry we're going to back
up for a minute just to help me here while
just stay with. Me WHY i talk To. Susan, susan
he is not going to fess up to his. Wife
he's secretly on a dating.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
App, okay but he wants to, cheat, Right he wants
to get a test to cheat, Somebody so then make
your end your. Marriage you don't get to do that
and stay.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Married guess why cheating sometimes is an exit. Strategy not
THAT i. Approve, OKAY, cec talk to your, dad give him,
hell tell him to grow up and either you, know
get off the dating apps or if he's that, unhappy
they need to get into counseling or they need to you,
(15:54):
know do the BIG. D but don't let him do.
That that's embarrassing to.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Him and don't tell, mom.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
And don't tell. Mom we wish you. Luck let US
knowe see what. Happens, Okay, anonymous, Rights hi, LADIES i
have a bit of a crazy. Question first of, All,
anonymous there are no crazy, questions, Okay And i'm wondering
what you'd. THINK i met this guy On hinge and
he seems really. Great he's been super nice and we've
(16:21):
been talking every day for the past two. Weeks this
week has all been via, text so we finally got
off the app over FaceTime this. Week he said he
wanted to fly me out To hawaii next, week all expenses.
PAID i was so excited UNTIL i told my friends
and they freaked. Out they're worried that he's creepy and
(16:41):
THAT i shouldn't fly across the country to see him
after only talking to him. ONLINE i think he seems,
fun But i've only known him for two. Weeks what
do you THINK i should? Do is there any WAY
i can, go like IF i ask him some. QUESTIONS
i really want a free, trip. Honestly. Lol thanks. Ladies,
okay this is so, easy Because, Susan i've been in this,
(17:02):
situation HAVEN'T. I.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yes first of, all you got a FaceTime and make
sure that the person is who you think you exactly
well she said over FaceTime this.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Week, okay but were you facetiming or was it just FaceTime.
Chat there's a, Difference so you be a, person. Right
have you seen HIM i. WOULD i would IF i
were you, anonymous get his cell, number pay For verify
whatever it is been verified, verifying do a background check on.
Him it's worth the whatever you, pay especially if you're
(17:35):
getting a free trip To. Hawaii don't just hop on
a plane and go To hawaii for a guy you
don't know who he.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
IS i would also want to know the arrangements as
to would she have her own hotel? Rooms, OH i
just assume that her to go to his. HOME i,
mean what what accommodations are going to be for?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Me, well that is a no. BRAINER i would assume. That,
hell you can't. Assume, yeah there is an ass in
the word.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Assume, Okay, okay all, like if you're both feeling something
and you want to, go, go let people know where
you're going to, be phone numbers and so.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
On. Okay but on the other, hand you, know if
something happens like that long, ago remember that girl that
disappeared In, ARUBA i, THINK i, mean what good does
it do if somebody knows where you are if they
can't get to.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
You it's a chance to.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Take but do you take that chance after knowing someone two?
Weeks would?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
You it depends on who it WAS i guess or
HOW i. Felt, mmm, Well i'll tell you, this and
is it first? CLASS i, mean.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
You, know you know WHAT i? Do you? Know here's
WHAT i didn't hear in. This she said he's super.
Nice she, GOES i really want a free? Trip is
that really why you? Want i'm not hearing that you're
into the free.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Trip you're not going to be able to do your
own thing, Anyhow you're going.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
To be with this.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Person you're going to be with, him you know that's
the Silly but If i'm not interested in?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Him but are you hearing? That i'm not seeing that
in this, Question she's.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Worried about her friends freaking.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Out, well can she should be.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
All expenses? Paid he wanted to fly me. OUT i
was so. Excited here's WHAT i told my. Friend they
freak that they worry that he's creepy AND i shouldn't
fly across the cure's do you want to get? To
what questions is she going to ask him that's going
to make her feel?
Speaker 1 (19:38):
BETTER i don't know what does he do for a
living or does he have? Siblings about his? Parents why
is he living In? Hawaii where's he? From get a
lot more, conversation going chit chat for a, month and
then see after a, month see if he's still, There
see if he still wants to chat with.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Him, yeah he might wait a little. LONGER i would.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Wait, Longer. ANONYMOUS i, REALLY i wouldn't do anything with
a guy after two, weeks even if you said to,
Me i'm in. LOVE i think he's. GREAT i didn't
expect this. HAPPENED i would, say if you haven't met,
him you don't. Know you just know what he's like on.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Text you, REALLY i, mean in today's, world it is
kind of, scary but it's exciting at the same. Time
and just keep talking to. Him so, YEAH i might
let you do.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
That let's give it a little bit and Keep, yeah
let's give it some more. Time and you know, What,
anonymous if he pressures you to, go he's not a good, guy,
right that's a red. Flag you agree or?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Not, Yes, absolutely he shouldn't pressure. Her you should give
her as much time as she, needs all, Right so
fass still be, there that's. Right let him know if
you went anous Plan, anonymous do not.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Go. Now listen To, Kathy i'm beating your. Mother so
she decides to do. IT i want to, Know, well
we want to know if you do it a couple
of months from. Now we want to hear.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
That now it's a couple of months before it was a.
Month she's changing her to. People i'm paying attention.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Here you know. What safety has no, Limits. Susan safety
has no.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Letue but a similar situation happened with you and you
were thinking ABOUT.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I was thinking about.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
It what? Appened you weren't wanting.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Like the.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
CONNECTION i don't think you felt too much of a,
connection and you were.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Scared you were. Scared so you know WHAT i. Listened
that's Something. Anonymous listen to your. Intuition if you don't have,
any listen to your friend's. Intuition, okay wist she. Loved be.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Careful let us know a.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Right so, Today, susan guess WHAT i have great news for.
You we're not doing a. Game we're not doing a.
Game how do you know we're? Not but we're doing
something that you AND i have discussed so. Much we're
going to do a dating app. Workshop if we.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Should into, Business i'm dead.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Serious you AND i know With Bachelor, nation we have
talked so much about what is? Wrong how we would
change dating. Apps what's wrong with?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Them we have, tips we have, tricks we have. Stories
we're going to share all of this so you can
find that special someone, else although we didn't find them
for us.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yet, well but you know, what that's the. Point if
you're doing it the right, way then you're looking for
the right, one not. Someone we're not looking for what is.
It we're not looking for today's. Man we're looking for you,
know our final whatever it.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
IS i never heard that one.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Looking for a. Guy we're not looking for a. Guy
we're looking for the. Guy, okay that.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
One works a little. BETTER i just want to find my,
person damn, it the person that's.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Waif for two. Weeks that's my best advice for. You All,
right here we, go let's. Go we're gonna, say step by,
STEP i just want to be in same. Movie, okay
we're gonna go step by. Step we are seriously going
(23:16):
to break down our do's and. Don'ts, okay making your
profile and using the. Apps, okay let's start with step,
one which is choosing an. App, okay so the big
three are for younger. PEOPLE i would Add match for,
us but younger people don't typically Use match but the
(23:36):
big three Are, Hinge, bumble and. Tender now for, me
And i'm, SERIOUS i talked to some people about, This
tinder used to be a. Hookup it was like you
want steps to get. On i'm saying it used to.
Be that's past. Tense DO i just say In? French
that is past. Tense bumble is the one where the women,
swipe And hinge is the red so they, say the
(24:01):
one where they try to build. Connection where they try
to build, connection which is just some great marketing. Ploy
BUT i think that theoretically this is just my. Opinion
i'm curious what you, Think. Bumble you, know women have to, initiate,
right so they. Swipe, okay so the woman, swipes but
(24:26):
the guy has to swipe. Back and some of the
thirty year OLDS i talked, TO i JUST i have
to read it BECAUSE i was just blown away by
what they were saying to.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Me.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Women this is not. Me this is what these girls
THAT i chatted with were telling. Me, women and they're
in their, thirties women have to make them first move On,
Bumble and she said they said it was like a
group of. Girls guys, think oh she's really into, me
and men love the. Chase they, said so it becomes
(24:59):
less desire rable On bumble because there's no chase because
the woman already, Swiped, Hey i'm interested in. You and
SO i, said so what do you do and some
of them, said, well you, know you have twenty four
hours to reach. Out i'm strictly talking About bumble right.
Now and so they said they, wait they wait for
the last, hour, like don't get your you, know don't
get so excited, here like as a last minute, think oh,
(25:21):
Yeah i'll reach out to, you WHICH i thought was
really interesting that men's in.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Their, opinion this is a woman's. Opinion you talk to, women.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Well a group of, women, yeah and then all, women
all women because women swipe On, bumble. Okay and Then
tinder they were, saying you, know that was a low stakes,
app it was a hook, up so you, know the general,
psychology this is a, quote the general psychology of. Men
(25:50):
they like the, chase and men are attracted to women
they can't. Have and my mouth was dropping when they
were saying.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
That that's been said for one hundred.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
YEARS i, know but we're talking about apps and how
it works on the, apps. Right so On tinder they
were saying men had to work harder to get their
attention where, bumble you, know they, swiped but then they
had to wait for the. Men and of course you,
know younger people are not on. Match and then they
talked a little bit about some of the invitation only
(26:26):
like the league In rayah and they were, saying you,
know those men they don't like because that's by invitation
only those websites and they were, saying, yeah those guys
think their step above so but we're not going to be.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Harmony there's so, many there's so many. Blah but so
first of, ALL i think you need to decide if
you want to pay or get a free. One now
there's even On tinder and all of these to get
to see who liked, you you have to, pay.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Well you don't you so remember it's a it's a, business.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Right, yeah, Absolutely i'd like to have one really to get.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
The high end stuff you have to. Pay But i've
been on the apps that where you don't have to,
pay Like tinder and some of, them and, yeah AND
i get enough people reaching, out BUT i do find
the same guys on. There what are your favorite, Apps.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
SUSAN i don't have a favorite BUT i hate them,
all but they do come in, handy they come in.
HERE i just hate choosing by a, PICTURE i really.
DO i feel LIKE i don't give somebody the benefit
of the doubt that he might not take a great
picture and he might be a great.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Guy all, Right well let's, Okay so let's start at
the beginning. Here when you when you first go on
a dating, app you've got to build a, profile, Right
so first you got to choose your. APP i would
say to you choose.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
No matter what app you, choose it's about the. PROFILE i.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Know but But i'm, saying DO i think people should
go on three or four? Apps? NO i think pick
one or two and and and work with that because
it does become like a full time. Job. Scroll so you,
know pick pick one or two. Apps that's my first.
Advice all, Right then you got to build a. Profile
and here's where we get into. It oh, boy, okay
(28:22):
pictures tell me the, pictures not the, pictures but the
kinds of pictures you should.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Choose you would definitely do a couple, headshots maybe doing an,
activity and definitely most definitely a full body. Shot maybe
that is playing golf or whatever activity you chose or
walk in you're playing with your dog or, whatever but
they want to see who you.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Are, YEAH i THINK i think a good start to
building a profile is five or six. Pictures one is
a close up. Headshot it goes without, saying But i'm
going to say. It, Please Dear, god do not use old.
Pictures you the pictures you should be no more than
a year. Old no more than a year. Old put
(29:05):
up pictures of you if you like to, wait, lift
you like to, kayak you like.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
To, ski doing, something put up pictures of.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Things you like to, do because, that's you, know that's
what's going to attract. Someone, oh this guy is not
a couch. Potato don't put.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
A picture of you in a group even three. People
you don't know which one you, are that's. Exactly And
i've run into that a, lot like who is it?
WHAT i don't even know who you are exactly and
that's the only. Picture, Yeah so pictures are, important and
you want to picture you feel is your best.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Shot.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Ye do not take selfies in a bathroom.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Wait can you? Wait Stop? Susan how do you repeat?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
That? Please do, NOT i, repeat take a selfie in
the bathroom room.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Tacky, ever and For god's, sakes, men keep your, shirt
your clothes, on put your keep your clothes. On do
not hold up. BEERS i live in tech WHERE i don't.
Know tell me guys think it's really cool to take
off their, shirts pull up a can of beer or
a dead fish or.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Both how about the big? Fish but what that tells
me is that's what they like to. Do they're proud
of that because they caught this big. Fish to, me
it's not SOMETHING i don't like. Fishing so, yeah WHATEVER i,
MEAN i will pass that.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
One.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah but so you, know want to entice, Somebody you
want somebody to take a closer look and look at
all your, Pictures so do something sweet and LIKE i,
said show all of you and try to incorporate in
your pictures your personality.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Right which you know can be. DIFFICULT i think sometimes
it's good to have a black and white photo show
that you know you're a little. Creative don't have all the.
Pictures maybe angle some of the, photos you, know put
a caption off of, you do some. Highlighting if you
don't want to do, it ask one of your kids
or a friend and to help you make the picture look.
(31:02):
Interesting because they're too.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Sexy because they'll get the wrong. Impression SO i can't
believe you just said. THAT i want to tell you
about a friend of mine who is. Single she is
fifty two years. Old she is a BODY i would kill.
Four she's very pretty and exactly. That she said to, Me,
kathy would you.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Look at my? PROFILE i, said, sure she, goes Because
i'm attracting the wrong kinds of, GUYS i, said. SURE
i looked at her. Profile, SUSAN i almost. Died this
woman is a school. Teacher she's, lovely she's lots of.
Fun BUT i mean her pictures made her look like
she was looking for a. Hookup And i'm going to
(31:45):
change her. Name i'm going to call Her. Sally sally,
SAID i, Said, sally what are you? Doing look at this?
Picture she, goes WHAT i, said what you look like
you're inviting the wrong kind of, Guy and she, GOES
i never thought about it that. WAY i, said we'll
start thinking about it that. Way and so she took
down all her pictures and we redid. Them because, guys
(32:08):
when you're creating a, profile you know who you. Are
susan knows WHO i. AM i know Who susan, is
but people looking at us on the internet, don't and
all they have to go by initially are those. Photos
so you want to make yourself look as.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Attractive SOMETIMES i think women need that, Attention they want that,
attention so they do put these sexy pictures. Up, well
then don't get me. Surprised if you're looking for, that then.
Fine but if you're serious and you want to find
a good, guy.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah you, know if you're showing with a making it.
Up but if you're putting yourself out there as a
woman in a wet t, shirt you, Know And i'm just,
saying that's what you're going to. Attract, guys if you
put yourself out there looking like you're a, bumpkin you're
going to tracked female. Bumpkinetts. Whatever you attract what you
(33:05):
put out. There AM i?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Wrong, no, no, no, no not at. All and that's
just the picture.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Part that's just the, pictures, Folks so spend the time
cultivating a good five or six.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Pictures, also, yes good, Point, kathy don't put just one
picture oh never people need to see Because i've seen
so many that oh, oh and Then i'm going through
and by the time you get to the fourth, picture
he's forty years. Older why are you putting yourself up
there at twenty when you're, Forty.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Well you could see what it's. Always let me just
also say it's a dead. Giveaway when they've taken a
photo of a photo of them when they were, twenty
the pictures sort of frayed and, crinkled like you're not pooling.
Anybody get take those pictures. Down this is WHAT i
used to look like. Now but you know WHAT i
want to. Say, yeah AND i used to be at
(33:58):
five to ten in a. Model i'm not.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Anymore, Well, KATHY i think we spent all our. TIME
i think this is going to have to have a part.
Two what do you?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
THINK i think we have lots more to, say.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Absolutely so stay. Tuned we will have a part two.
Coming smoo
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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