May 23, 2025 • 37 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” Kathy and Susan are back answering more of your questions! We kick off the episode with our question of the day: What does monogamy look like in your golden years? Then, we get into your questions, and they’re all about Golden relationships trying to go the distance! From friends rebounding quickly to men dodging monogamy in their older years, our listeners need help and we’re coming to the rescue! Plus, we rattle off some rapid-fire advice, tackling our most-asked questions! Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back, everybody. We're here to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour.
Kathy and I are so excited to join you again.
How excited are we to be back together? I know, right,
I mean, we've had busy weeks going on here right,
spring is sprung.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm out sweating walking. What have you been up to?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Breaking my arm? I mean my wrist surgeon.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I love it. Susan says, broke my arm. I keep saying,
you broke your wrist.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
You still attached to my arm. It's part of my arm.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That is one way to look at it. All right,
we are going We're going to talk about Susan's wrist,
my dating life, and we're also going to answer more
of your fan questions. Please, y'all make sure you're submitting
to us. We love reading them, we love answering them.
It's super You know what to do. Go to Bachelor
nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away comments, questions.
(01:02):
Send it on to us, everything.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Because we want to know all of it. You know what?
You can also dm us on Instagram at batslor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You know what, Susan, we love. We just got to
say this one more time. We love getting your updates.
So if we've answered one of your questions, please please
write us an update and tell us how things are
going for you, because we really want.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
To whether you took our advice or not and you
did the opposite of what we said, but we want
to know the outcome.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, we do. That's what all right, that's what it's
all about. Okay, today we're going to get into the episode,
but first, as always, we're going to start with the
titillating question of the day. Here we go. You ready,
what does monogamy mean when dating in your senior years?
(01:52):
What off your long distance? Is it necessary to be monogamous?
And what does that look like? Is it just so
I need a drum roll here? What do you think?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Who?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Monogamy is monogamy? It meant the same thing when I
was twenty thirty, forty fifty and sixty.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And what does it mean to you? Well, but you're
just you and him? What does it mean you're just
dating just having sex? Define it for me. Get out
your Webster's dictionary.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, see, for me, it's always a relationship with one person.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I'm not arguing with you.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I just included when you're in a relationship. I mean,
there's there's a friend with benefits. Is that monogamous? Well,
I don't know, because there's no means when there's just
a friend with benefits.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
No, I mean way, I can honestly tell you. And
I'm not asking you because but I'm just telling you
I've never had a friend with benefits because to me,
sex is more than just hey, you know, let's have
sex tonight and get up and have and it's or
bagels in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I mean, that's just sex.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
That's just sex.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Some people choose to and that's that.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I don't judge them.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And then it says, what if you're long distance? So
when I heard you say that that means sex, No,
the first thing that came to mind is trust issues.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Okay, let's go down that road. Let's go down that road. Okay,
So dating long distance, you know, I'm in a position
my kids are grown. I've always said, if I meet
the right guy, I'm I'm I'm leaving. I'm going to
be with that guy, and I'm going to travel, you know,
back to see my grandkids and my children. Having said that,
(03:43):
I if I have trust issues, I'm not going to
be with that.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Never work it could never work right.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I mean, but monogamy to me is I don't care
what age I agree with? These isn't I don't care
what age it is. Monogamy means one man one woman,
or two men and two women, whatever. It is two
people together and not with other uh, not with other
(04:12):
other people. However, I could be dating a guy, now,
could I have I'm asking you, could I have? I
have some male friends, could I could I still go
out with.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Them on a date or just go for dinner, hang
out friends, that's friends. But would you be okay if
he had female friends and went out?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I hate you, honestly. I think the thing is it
would depend on the guy's conversation. It's a conversation. I
know me, I know me. I have male friends, but
I'm not sleeping with them. You know, they're friends. We
got to dinner, I go to his house.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
That's not a date.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah, but I have to say, I'd have to really
be so comfortable with that guy that I'm with in
that monogamous relationship that every minute he's thinking about me
not I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
How exactly you have to have the trust and understand?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Now, are you a trusting person? Because I am too much.
So do you think long distance then is hard?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I think it could be because you're going to want
to or me, I would want to be with that
person more if he lived four miles away or twenty
five miles away, rather than have to take a flight.
When I see long distance, to me, you got to
fly somewhere to see them. But if that were the case,
how exciting because you're looking forward to it. Who were
(05:50):
we interviewing? Was it Ben? Who were we talking to?
And they said they set it up before they left
each other? Yeah it was Ben, Ben? Yeah, yes, and
they had that date. You know it's coming, let's go home,
let's do what we need to do, and you look
forward to that day that. I think that can work.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So so what would you say to a man just
just for convenience? We're gonna I'm going to talk heterosexual relationships,
but this applies to all for as far as I'm concerned.
If if you were dating a guy long distance, and he,
(06:30):
you know, he said to you, look, you're my girl,
but you know I I sleep with other women, but
it's just sex, would you ever be okay with that?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
No? I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Either I couldn't do it because to me, it's not
just sex. That's intimacy.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Well, there's several forms of intimacy, I think, and sex
is one formation.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Sex is just sex, I mean it is, well it's sex.
Well that's the think. What if the guy said to
you and you know, look, it's justous.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, that's what I'm saying. Could you I can't, but
I could imagine a man saying, oh, no, monogamy to
me means I love you. You're the woman I care for.
Sex is just you know, bodily function. I'm just really
I couldn't do it, but I think there are men
out there that I think that's okay.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
He won't be my guy. My guy is the question.
We are seniors.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
No, it doesn't. To me, it would not matter.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
But then it says, is it necessary to be monogamous?
And what does that look like? Is it to me?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
To me, it's necessary, and it's it's never just sex,
And you know when when you think about it, I
don't know women, so I've been told women attach a
lot more meaning to sex that man.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I think sex is sex, that's it.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Oh you think, really, if a man loves you, you
don't think there's anything beyond just physical release. I don't
believe that.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I mean, he could be more into it because he
loves you. But sex is sex.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Oh wow, for the man. Oh I don't believe that.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Okay, so so different.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Hold on, if you believe sex is just sex, no you.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I didn't say that was for a man.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I said for a man. If you're saying that, then
you're buying into Uh, it's just sex. I love you.
You know you're dating Joe. I'm making a name up, Joe.
I love you, Susan. You're the woman of my dreams.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
But he's had sex with Kathy three days ago and that.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
But that's just sex. But just sex, Susan, I don't
love her. I love you. Not my world, but it's
okay in their world.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Some yeah, I guess it is.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So all you men out there, that guy, all these
men out there, if you're interested in Susan or me,
let me, let me. Let me cut this down to
the simplest of terms. Few monogamy means you're only having
sex with us one person, well, not both of us together.
Obviously you're only that would be men walk which you know,
(09:26):
it's a whole other conversation for another time, but I'm
just saying that's for us. I think women believe that
monogamy is just having sex with one person.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And do you know, I actually know women, not many
that had relationships I guess you can call them open
relationships that they had sex and they dated. And yet
the guy and the girl had other partners that they
dated and had sex. I don't think I could handle it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Oh, I know I had a guy. I wasn't going
to tell you this, and I certainly wasn't going to
put on our podcasts. But since no one's listening but
you and me, we're just talking among us. I had
a guy reached out to me the other day who said,
you are absolutely stunningly beautiful. I would love to meet you,
but I need you to know I'm in an open marriage.
Oh yeah, I've seen how fast did I block him?
Speaker 1 (10:16):
No? Well, I would respond it and said, I'm so
you know what your honesty, However, that's not my game.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
You know what? I had just watched them. No, I
had to watch the dusk grow on the furniture. I
only had so much time, and I chose to watch
the dust grow. No, I'm not responding to that, I'm
not I'm not dignifying that with an answer absolutely not.
Let's move on.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah right, oh boy? All right?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Should we get into our fan questions or should we
keep talking about not?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh? I don't know. Please let's get into the fan questions.
I'm in okay?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
You want to go first?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
You want me to read no, knock yourself up?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Go okay. This is from anonymous. Hi ladies. I have
been dating this guy for the past six months and
it's been going well for the most part. At sixty
two years old, I am just so excited to be
in a relationship and it's really been fun. We live
about three hours away from one another, but see each
(11:22):
other a few times a month and we text and
call all the time. Unfortunately, over the past few weeks,
my guy has been saying some things that have raised
some red flags for me, and I need help knowing
if I should stick around or move on. We have
been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where
(11:44):
we could be down the road. He made a comment
about how I would be the last vagina he ever
sleeps with, and it really grossed me out.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
A wait, stop, you said vagina like you weren't sure
what it was vagina.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I just say, he said that you're going to be
my last vagina, monogamous, monogamy, go ahead, keep going, the
last vagina he ever sleeps with. And it really grows
me out. He also is still on dating apps, though
he said he doesn't necessarily talk to anyone there, it's
just for looking. Oh boy. I went into our next
(12:27):
date or hang hang good, yeah, hang out, thinking that
I was going to break up with him, but then
he told me that he loves me. It's been very
confusing and mixed signals. I really do love him and
had have had so much fun with him and don't
want to be single again. Any advice is appreciated. Love
(12:49):
you both.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Can I jump in? Can I jump in? Yes?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Please?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Anonymous. Here's my here's my gut reaction, my intuition. You
can be single now, or you can go down the
road with this guy and you trust and believe me,
you'll be single later. This guy has no clue. He
does not want you to be the last vagina he
(13:14):
ever sleeps with. He clearly it does not want to
be monogamous.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
And but Kathy, did you notice she said we have
been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where
we could be down the road. Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Where we could be down the road is he's got
several other vaginas he's dealing with. That's where you're going
to be down the road. And you know what, it's okay,
back to what we said earlier. If you agree to that,
it's great. But my guess is based on what Anonymous
is saying. She's not okay with multiple vaginas being in
(13:50):
her life.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
So also, I hope to God because it grossed her out.
She addressed that with him when she saw him. That
would be one of the things I would talk to
him about. Why would you say, last vagina, that is
not well that it's just gross.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
It is well respectful. But you missed on who he is.
I mean, he's not on my dance card list. I
can tell you if but wait, she said, but then
he told me he loved me. Ladies, Please, I'm going
to speak for Susan and me together. Susan correct me
if I'm wrong. Ladies, the be all to end all
(14:32):
is not that a man tells you he loves you.
It's in his actions, It's in his behavior. It is.
Words are easy. Words are words, words are cheap. Actions
are what defines a man. It's what defines everyone. Don't
listen to what I say, watch what I do. So
(14:56):
I think, Anonymous, you are getting sucked in because he
told you he loves you. He didn't say he loves you,
and he's not going to sleep around or find of.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
The let's not forget he's still on the dating site.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Well, that's because he Susan, do you know why he
he's looking? No? He stopped the sentence there. He said,
I'm just looking. He's looking for other vaginas. And if
she doesn't see that's what I'm saying, sweetie, Anonymous. If
you don't see this for what it is, I'm sorry
you might have to learn a tough lesson. But I
(15:29):
would have the conversation with him, definitely. If you're okay
with multiple sex partners, then move forward in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
But if you're not the Gina Susan, Susan, I can't
get past I can't, I can't, I can't throw up
in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Okay, that's lasting Vagina.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I mean says that I don't know. Don't drive three
hours ever again for a last vagina. Man, Okay, just
just say.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well no, wait if it is the last vagina? Wait,
can we have a dollar for every time we've said
vagina in this podcast? The last vaginal? I'll give you
ten bucks. All right, we're moving on. Good luck. Let
us know. Oh, by the way, and im and I'm
being serious here, if he's sleeping around you better require
condoms and a blood test, an STD test, respect exactly,
(16:24):
a note from the doctor.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Good luck anonymous, Good luck anonymous.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Let us know how it goes. Okay, our next one
is another anonymous.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Just pause, think about this. What what would your reaction
be if he said that to you? I can't get passed, susan,
my dear, my last vagina? Am I supposed to go?
I love you?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I don't know, but I think I have to be
honest with you. You and I are confident women, and I
think this guy has probably given off vibes that are
disgusting in other ways. But she's put up with it.
So the fact that he is on dating sites and
(17:07):
she says he doesn't necessarily talk to him when they're anonymous.
I'm willing to bet my I'm willing to bet my
last you know, my grandchild. Trust and believe he is
talking to other women. People are not on dating sites.
To look. You want to go windows shopping, Go to
the sporting goods store. Okay, all right, moving on high lady.
(17:31):
This again from anonymous. Hi ladies. My sixty two year
old neighbor lost his wife of forty years eighteen months ago.
I'm sorry. She was the love of his life and
was beloved by everyone. Two months after her death, he
sold their home and moved to a fifty five and
up community. I thought it was quick, but after his
(17:53):
wife's long battle with cancer, I'm sure he needed a change.
After vacationing with us and another couple in January, he
opened up about being lonely and said he was ready
to begin dating. We were happy to hear this. He's
a wonderful man, smart, successful, attractive, and has a great personality.
Two weeks ago he had a first date with a
(18:14):
lady he met online. In those two weeks, they've met
each other's young adult children, have had dinner with very
close friends, have babysat his grandchild, and seen each other
every single day. He even shared with me last evening
that he's had the prenup talk with her already, I
thought to myself, WHOA, what's the hurry? Seems like this
(18:38):
is moving at warp speed. I care for this guy
and would hate to see him rush into something as
serious as marriage. Do I have a heart to heart
with him about my concerns or keep my mouth shut
and just be happy for him. I'm leaning toward the latter.
Thanks concerned Friend's Anonymous, You got it right, baby, Keep your.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Mouth shut shut because people can meet and can fall
really quick. And if people does happen, if people.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Do see, if.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
People do think it's touching, I think it's harder for
because they think, oh what is she money hungry or or.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Whatever it is? Or is he is he just desperate?
Because but here's the thing, Susan, here's the thing. If
it doesn't work out, they've tried to make it work out,
and they've enjoyed the time together. And time is short, folks.
Time is short. And when yours and golden years are short,
(19:46):
it's not like you're twenty.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Three and have to build a future and buy your
first house and have children.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
All. Yeah, yeah, So, I say, Anonymous, you know, I
know we're going to catch some flat for this, but
I would never have said this, you know, earlier in
my life. But now you find the man that you
think you love, you find the woman that you think
you love, go for it, jump in and see what happens.
(20:14):
Because you don't get these days back. You don't get
this time back, you know, as much as we need
to admit it, Susan, we talk about this being our
last chapter and our best chapter, and for I think
it is. But you know what, don't waste a day
of it. Don't waste a day if it doesn't know.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Kathy, if they're really close and she finds him alone
and they're talking, she could say something, but just say,
you know, I'm so happy for you. You guys seem so
happy and are you sure you know? Is this? Is
this what you want to do? You know? Something like
that on a note, on a positive note. Yeah, just
she could have them over for dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
So would I?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I would all be happy, you know what I like?
You know what I'd be saying, damn it another lost
That's exactly what say? You knew it? You knew that?
All right? All right?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Well we're going to concerned friend. Just be a friend, yeah, they're.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
A friend, and be supportive be there and please let
us know. And I'm going to just take Susan's line
away from her. If they decide to get married, please
reach out to Susan. She's a wedding officient she'd be
so happy to do it. And I will come along
with her and throw the rose petals.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
But you know what, can I add something? Kathy?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
At my age, I don't necessarily think you have to
get married either, do I? I would like to be engaged,
so you know I'm with that person.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
But no, Susan, you want to be engaged so you
can have a ring?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Just be honest, I do I haven't learned one in
a really long time. Okay, so you could lift together.
I mean all those prenups and all that, none of
that is necessary.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I well, no, no, no, no, no no no no no
no no. In many states, if you cohabitate and you
live together for more than one year, yeah, and you
share bills, your name is an Abil, you are then
considered legally married and that so absolutely I would I
(22:16):
would have a preemp.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Do you feel about it? Would you just live with
somebody or do you have to be married?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I do not? At age, I do not feel the
need to get married. But if I met the man
who loved me and said, you know, I meet you
by my side every minute of the day, and I
loved him and we loved each other that much, I
would consider getting married. But I will be honest, if
(22:43):
you to just move in, I would have a prenup.
I would because but my situation is different, Susan. You
know my husband, Well it feels different to me. My
husband worked really hard for the money he earned, and
I want my children.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
To get Anybody at our age is gonna you know so,
but but go to their families their kids.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Well, but I'm not saying but I would support myself.
I would contribute to our joint living all of those things.
But but in terms of wealth, transferring wealth.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
You know, my kids a whole different story.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yeah, so I would probably have a peanut. But no,
I don't feel the need to be married. But I
will never I'm old enough now to say I will
never say never on anything. Would you get married?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, or you don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
That's not my goal. My goal is to find my
person and live together and enjoy each other. The marriage
part is I mean I could marry us.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
You know, Susan's gonna be sitting in the bedroom quiet
night over a bowl of popcorn. Hey, let's get married.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm gonna perform say else, And to me, that is
the most important thing when you're looking in somebody's eyes
and it's just the two of you and share why
you want them in your lives and how they make
you happy or vice versa. And I commit myself to
you and you commit yourself to me. That's matag.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Wait can we put the word monogamous in there? Please?
You're only having sex with me.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
But I'm happy for your neighbor.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah, you know what, really, Mozzle, I am so happy
for your neighbor. I wish them happiness. I hope you
wish them happiness. All right, we are going to we're
going to try something a little different today. Oh. As
(24:42):
we all know, dating in your golden years is tough,
it is, and it's not necessarily really openly spoken about.
So we are here today, Susan, we are going to
change that we want. I think we really should discuss
some major themes that we see in our listener writings
(25:03):
as well as in you know, our experiences and our friends'
experiences are you okay, right, yeah, all right, So the end,
some of these are I'm just going to warn you
some of these are tough because we are of a
certain age. Okay, how do you navigate dating with health issues?
You know, at our age, Susan, Whether we want to
believe it or not, health issues can be serious and ongoing.
(25:28):
So you know, how do you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I think you should be if you're in a monogamous relationship,
of course, monogamous that you have to be honest if
you have health issues. I mean, you can't just surprise them, no,
but how do you But you know, I would want
to know if my partner that dating has health issues.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I mean I would too. But I told you some
of these are going to be hard. Let's just say
you find out you meet a guy and you're, you know,
really into him, and you've been dating a couple I mean,
I'm making this up obviously, you've been dating a couple
of months, and you find out the guy has Parkinson's
or he's been diagnosed with you know, a blood cancer,
(26:11):
some kind of leukemia. How are you going to feel
about that? Because it's not well, you know, that's going
to be an onwe to ask.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yourself the question are you here to take care of him?
There you got do you love him enough to be
there for him in the bad times? Because that's you know,
when you get older, shit happens if you will.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, but Susan, wait, that's for me. Will wait a minute.
But for me, that's the difference when you get married.
You know, when I got married at twenty and at
that altar, and they said, do you promise to love
in sickness and in health? You know, sickness was a
long way off, right, You're thinking.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
If you had the flu, we just still.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Exactly like, Oh shit's I got to bring him chicken
little soup. He's got the flu. I don't know. Maybe
I will, Maybe I will. I'm talking serious health issues,
and so if you get involved with someone who has
a serious, on going health issue.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I mean, you've got to think about your life.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Is that okay with you? You won't get to do
all the fun things that you thought you could do
at this stage of the game. Get up and go.
If he's ill or she is ill, do you like?
They are my Italians that we love so much, Kathy,
you know, my best friends that we travel with alive
and they're from Italy and they're beautiful people. And he
(27:34):
worked all his life to go and enjoy and she
had a stroke.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yes, but Susan, the difference they've been married forever. I'm saying,
stating in our golden years, I'm going to be I'm
nothing if not honest. I if it were a terminal illness,
I'd have a really hard time doing that.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I would, But would you do anything about it internally?
You'd have a hard time. But would you stop seeing
him because of it?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (28:09):
That's hard.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I'm just gonna say for this is not a judgment
on any man who may want a date for me
with me, but I've buried one husband the hardest of
ways possible. If I were dating a guy a couple
of months and they told me he told me that
he had a terminal diagnosis he had just found out,
(28:31):
I don't know if I could do it, Susan, It
it takes too much out of me at my age.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Think it would depend on how I felt about it.
You know, I'm going to get hate mail for this.
You know I am No, You're just being honest. I mean,
I mean I can deal.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I can deal with the chronic health situation, you know things,
but that's not life or death.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
We talked about one of our fan questions some time ago.
She had a bream issue, remember, and the sex was
none and she didn't want to do couldn't do anything,
and he hung in there for her.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, but that's different. It wasn't for death.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
No, no, yeah, I think for me, it's the life
for a couple of years. That's a long time.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, No, I know, you know, all right, So what
about the next one? Do you share finances? Do you
get a prenup? You know, when you get married young,
you're in it together to build your lives together. Right,
but in your golden years, you know, some of us
have generational wealth. Some of us have debts, debt. How
(29:37):
do you feel I'd like.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
To know if they're in debt, because I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
You're not doing what.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
I don't want somebody that's in debt. I wait, a
man that can take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Would you wait, wait a minute. What if he's in debt,
but he's paying his debt because he's working, he's paining, okay,
or he has you know, you're you're saying you don't
want to pay for someone else's debt, Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Nor would I ever expect anybody to pay for mine.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Would would you? Would you want a prenup? Would you
share your finances with them? Would you show them how
much money you have?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
I got it. I'm an open book. I probably in
my brain's telling me, no, you shouldn't tell them everything.
But the other side of me is, if I'm that
in love with you, you need to know everything. But
you also need to know it's for my children.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So for me, uh, I would have to be living
with the guy before I would share my financial wealth.
But by then we've already had a prenup and he
would know that I'm gonna support me. I'm gonna you know,
we're gonna have a joint checking account. We're going to
share the expenses of the house, unless he wants to
(30:52):
pay for it all, and then I'm gonna graciously say thanks.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Well, I say he could pay for the house should
be paid for by them, but if it's not in
your paying the mortgage, then I chip in on the
utility bills or my food shopping. Of course, I probably wait.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Can I just tell you more than I'm sorry? I
got to deviate one second. Here Susan goes shopping. Were
you know we were for a week? She showed. I mean,
I don't we all know Kathy doesn't cook. Literally, we
walk out, she goes it wasn't bad. It was only
four hundred euros. Like, Susan, that's it's like, that's more
(31:24):
than four hundred dollars for one week of groceries. Just
putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
It wasn't even a whole week of groceries.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Well, I was trying not to embarrass you further.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Okay, Well, Kathy, let me ask you, when is the
right time that you're going to integrate your families? Okay,
people have established routines with lives where families. Now, when
do you think it's time not just to meet him,
but his family? And do you think that works? Do
(31:53):
you think that ever is going to be like oh,
I can't wait to call my stepbrother or you know.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Well, I can tell you I've done this a couple
of times with guys that I dated for more than
ten minutes, and integrating I did it slowly, invited uh
my kids to come to dinner one night when he
was here. Yes, Susan, I did cook dinner that night.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I think you ordered, didn't you. That was such a bitch.
I know she did.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I cooked all right, it was in the microwave.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
No. I re called me last week and showed me
a video. Can I just share, Susan, I'm going to
make hamburgers tonight. I go on to the grill now
in the house, in the stove. Why what do I do? Wait? Okay,
the visit scent of the blackened mess. Okay, this ruined
the Okay, wait, we're talking. We're talking dating, but we
(32:54):
have to and we got to stop with this story.
I my grill. You can't make this ship up my
grill about oh, I don't know. Six weeks ago, I
was cooking something and the residue caught on fire. And
my son's a firefighter. I was like, oh my god,
freaked out, close something down, the fire went out. Haven't
(33:15):
touched that girl, since I just need underneath.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Well, now, I learned how to clean the grill, and
I did. I did. But prior to cleaning the grill,
I wanted to make hamburgers, and so I thought I will.
This is a true story, folks. I was on the
phone chatting with Nancy from our season who I adore,
And I'm cooking the hamburger, and I said, Susan, how
do you cook a hamburger? And so she told me
what to do. So I started doing it, cooking it.
I was talking to Nancy. I turned around. My whole
(33:40):
stove is on fire. Flames everywhere. I went, Oh my god,
because the grease from the hamburger caught on fire.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
So between that and the pants to high whatever, it
was a little black.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And you've heard of black, and see not this.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
No, no, no, no, it was not edible.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I ate every last bite. It was delicious.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
And see that's the problem. You don't even know the difference.
I can't. I can't.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Susan lives to eat. I eat to live.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Okay, moving along, so yeah, how soon? Like I have
a big mouth, Like I get excited if I meet
somebody that I really like, and I've seen a couple
of times. I want to tell my kids about it.
Yeah you don't.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
I oh, no, I may tell my children I'm dating someone.
I just Susan, I have not, you know, since my
husband died, I've dated a couple of guys for any
length of time, and my children met them, and my
children liked them, but I waited. You know, I told them,
I said, I'm dating a guy. You know, I think
I'm going to date them. You know, it's not a
(34:45):
one day but yeah, I'm seeing somebody. It's not a
one day guy, but I my children are adults, and again,
you're divorced. That's different. My husband died by suicide, and
my kids are very sensitive, particularly my daughter about it.
Six years, right, six, Jess was six years but you
(35:06):
know it's it's it was her dad. She was young.
I'm very careful about who I introduce my kids to.
Casual dates. No, And I would encourage people if you're
dating in your golden years, don't feel the rush to
you know, this guy you've had two dates with, to
introduce him to your children and your grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
But then say you're in it like the better part
of a year and it's a holiday. Do you invite
his kids as well as yours?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
You know, that's a tougher one. I think it depends
on the dynamic between you and your kids. Would you
do it?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh? Yeah, they all come.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Well, Susan has a house full of ninety you know,
in every holiday, so really, one boyfriend, excuse me, one
boyfriend more or less really just kind of melds into
the crowd. No one cares, all right, Kath, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
What are you really looking for in a relationship?
Speaker 2 (36:06):
That is so easy for me to answer, Susan, I'm
looking for the guy who loves me for who I am,
wants to spend time with me, wants to wake up
next to me, isn't trying to change me. It's just
so happy that I've come into his life and he's
come into my.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Life pretty so makes you smile, makes.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
And I make him smile pretty much? What about you?
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Same?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yeah? Just not that hard, okay that I like this
new guy me. Of course you do, because it's not
it's not what was what you hated?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I think the answer for you what you would do?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yeah, exactly. We've forgotten it, all right, it's all forgotten anyway.
Thank you all to our listeners. We hope you know
you learned. You certainly learned about Kathy's fires on the
grill and on the stove. You've learned about Susan and
I are looking for in guys. So thank you for
joining us today.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
And thank you again, and make sure you follow Bachelor
Happy Hour as we have a lot new, a lot
more new. I'm telling you a lot of new questions
episodes coming out every week, and you don't want to
miss this. And then what we're going to say.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
You never know, You never know, just you just never know.
But here's the thing. We can't answer your questions if
you don't submit them to us. It's just that's the
way that goes. All you have to do, it's simple.
Go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or even
easier dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Absolutely listen to our Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on
the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast.
This has been fun, so much fun.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Have a great week, everybody, come
Welcome back, everybody. We're here to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour.
Kathy and I are so excited to join you again.
How excited are we to be back together? I know, right,
I mean, we've had busy weeks going on here right,
spring is sprung.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm out sweating walking. What have you been up to?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Breaking my arm? I mean my wrist surgeon.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I love it. Susan says, broke my arm. I keep saying,
you broke your wrist.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
You still attached to my arm. It's part of my arm.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That is one way to look at it. All right,
we are going We're going to talk about Susan's wrist,
my dating life, and we're also going to answer more
of your fan questions. Please, y'all make sure you're submitting
to us. We love reading them, we love answering them.
It's super You know what to do. Go to Bachelor
nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away comments, questions.
(01:02):
Send it on to us, everything.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Because we want to know all of it. You know what?
You can also dm us on Instagram at batslor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
You know what, Susan, we love. We just got to
say this one more time. We love getting your updates.
So if we've answered one of your questions, please please
write us an update and tell us how things are
going for you, because we really want.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
To whether you took our advice or not and you
did the opposite of what we said, but we want
to know the outcome.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, we do. That's what all right, that's what it's
all about. Okay, today we're going to get into the episode,
but first, as always, we're going to start with the
titillating question of the day. Here we go. You ready,
what does monogamy mean when dating in your senior years?
(01:52):
What off your long distance? Is it necessary to be monogamous?
And what does that look like? Is it just so
I need a drum roll here? What do you think?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Who?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
So?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Monogamy is monogamy? It meant the same thing when I
was twenty thirty, forty fifty and sixty.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And what does it mean to you? Well, but you're
just you and him? What does it mean you're just
dating just having sex? Define it for me. Get out
your Webster's dictionary.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, see, for me, it's always a relationship with one person.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I'm not arguing with you.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I just included when you're in a relationship. I mean,
there's there's a friend with benefits. Is that monogamous? Well,
I don't know, because there's no means when there's just
a friend with benefits.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
No, I mean way, I can honestly tell you. And
I'm not asking you because but I'm just telling you
I've never had a friend with benefits because to me,
sex is more than just hey, you know, let's have
sex tonight and get up and have and it's or
bagels in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I mean, that's just sex.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
That's just sex.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Some people choose to and that's that.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I don't judge them.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And then it says, what if you're long distance? So
when I heard you say that that means sex, No,
the first thing that came to mind is trust issues.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Okay, let's go down that road. Let's go down that road. Okay,
So dating long distance, you know, I'm in a position
my kids are grown. I've always said, if I meet
the right guy, I'm I'm I'm leaving. I'm going to
be with that guy, and I'm going to travel, you know,
back to see my grandkids and my children. Having said that,
(03:43):
I if I have trust issues, I'm not going to
be with that.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Never work it could never work right.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I mean, but monogamy to me is I don't care
what age I agree with? These isn't I don't care
what age it is. Monogamy means one man one woman,
or two men and two women, whatever. It is two
people together and not with other uh, not with other
(04:12):
other people. However, I could be dating a guy, now,
could I have I'm asking you, could I have? I
have some male friends, could I could I still go
out with.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Them on a date or just go for dinner, hang
out friends, that's friends. But would you be okay if
he had female friends and went out?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I hate you, honestly. I think the thing is it
would depend on the guy's conversation. It's a conversation. I
know me, I know me. I have male friends, but
I'm not sleeping with them. You know, they're friends. We
got to dinner, I go to his house.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
That's not a date.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Yeah, but I have to say, I'd have to really
be so comfortable with that guy that I'm with in
that monogamous relationship that every minute he's thinking about me
not I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
How exactly you have to have the trust and understand?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Now, are you a trusting person? Because I am too much.
So do you think long distance then is hard?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I think it could be because you're going to want
to or me, I would want to be with that
person more if he lived four miles away or twenty
five miles away, rather than have to take a flight.
When I see long distance, to me, you got to
fly somewhere to see them. But if that were the case,
how exciting because you're looking forward to it. Who were
(05:50):
we interviewing? Was it Ben? Who were we talking to?
And they said they set it up before they left
each other? Yeah it was Ben, Ben? Yeah, yes, and
they had that date. You know it's coming, let's go home,
let's do what we need to do, and you look
forward to that day that. I think that can work.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So so what would you say to a man just
just for convenience? We're gonna I'm going to talk heterosexual relationships,
but this applies to all for as far as I'm concerned.
If if you were dating a guy long distance, and he,
(06:30):
you know, he said to you, look, you're my girl,
but you know I I sleep with other women, but
it's just sex, would you ever be okay with that?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
No? I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Either I couldn't do it because to me, it's not
just sex. That's intimacy.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Well, there's several forms of intimacy, I think, and sex
is one formation.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Sex is just sex, I mean it is, well it's sex.
Well that's the think. What if the guy said to
you and you know, look, it's justous.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, that's what I'm saying. Could you I can't, but
I could imagine a man saying, oh, no, monogamy to
me means I love you. You're the woman I care for.
Sex is just you know, bodily function. I'm just really
I couldn't do it, but I think there are men
out there that I think that's okay.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
He won't be my guy. My guy is the question.
We are seniors.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
No, it doesn't. To me, it would not matter.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
But then it says, is it necessary to be monogamous?
And what does that look like? Is it to me?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
To me, it's necessary, and it's it's never just sex,
And you know when when you think about it, I
don't know women, so I've been told women attach a
lot more meaning to sex that man.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I think sex is sex, that's it.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Oh you think, really, if a man loves you, you
don't think there's anything beyond just physical release. I don't
believe that.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I mean, he could be more into it because he
loves you. But sex is sex.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Oh wow, for the man. Oh I don't believe that.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Okay, so so different.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Hold on, if you believe sex is just sex, no you.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I didn't say that was for a man.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I said for a man. If you're saying that, then
you're buying into Uh, it's just sex. I love you.
You know you're dating Joe. I'm making a name up, Joe.
I love you, Susan. You're the woman of my dreams.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
But he's had sex with Kathy three days ago and that.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
But that's just sex. But just sex, Susan, I don't
love her. I love you. Not my world, but it's
okay in their world.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Some yeah, I guess it is.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So all you men out there, that guy, all these
men out there, if you're interested in Susan or me,
let me, let me. Let me cut this down to
the simplest of terms. Few monogamy means you're only having
sex with us one person, well, not both of us together.
Obviously you're only that would be men walk which you know,
(09:26):
it's a whole other conversation for another time, but I'm
just saying that's for us. I think women believe that
monogamy is just having sex with one person.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And do you know, I actually know women, not many
that had relationships I guess you can call them open
relationships that they had sex and they dated. And yet
the guy and the girl had other partners that they
dated and had sex. I don't think I could handle it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Oh, I know I had a guy. I wasn't going
to tell you this, and I certainly wasn't going to
put on our podcasts. But since no one's listening but
you and me, we're just talking among us. I had
a guy reached out to me the other day who said,
you are absolutely stunningly beautiful. I would love to meet you,
but I need you to know I'm in an open marriage.
Oh yeah, I've seen how fast did I block him?
Speaker 1 (10:16):
No? Well, I would respond it and said, I'm so
you know what your honesty, However, that's not my game.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
You know what? I had just watched them. No, I
had to watch the dusk grow on the furniture. I
only had so much time, and I chose to watch
the dust grow. No, I'm not responding to that, I'm
not I'm not dignifying that with an answer absolutely not.
Let's move on.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah right, oh boy? All right?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
What do you think?
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Should we get into our fan questions or should we
keep talking about not?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh? I don't know. Please let's get into the fan questions.
I'm in okay?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
You want to go first?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
You want me to read no, knock yourself up?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Go okay. This is from anonymous. Hi ladies. I have
been dating this guy for the past six months and
it's been going well for the most part. At sixty
two years old, I am just so excited to be
in a relationship and it's really been fun. We live
about three hours away from one another, but see each
(11:22):
other a few times a month and we text and
call all the time. Unfortunately, over the past few weeks,
my guy has been saying some things that have raised
some red flags for me, and I need help knowing
if I should stick around or move on. We have
been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where
(11:44):
we could be down the road. He made a comment
about how I would be the last vagina he ever
sleeps with, and it really grossed me out.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
A wait, stop, you said vagina like you weren't sure
what it was vagina.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I just say, he said that you're going to be
my last vagina, monogamous, monogamy, go ahead, keep going, the
last vagina he ever sleeps with. And it really grows
me out. He also is still on dating apps, though
he said he doesn't necessarily talk to anyone there, it's
just for looking. Oh boy. I went into our next
(12:27):
date or hang hang good, yeah, hang out, thinking that
I was going to break up with him, but then
he told me that he loves me. It's been very
confusing and mixed signals. I really do love him and
had have had so much fun with him and don't
want to be single again. Any advice is appreciated. Love
(12:49):
you both.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Can I jump in? Can I jump in? Yes?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Please?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Anonymous. Here's my here's my gut reaction, my intuition. You
can be single now, or you can go down the
road with this guy and you trust and believe me,
you'll be single later. This guy has no clue. He
does not want you to be the last vagina he
(13:14):
ever sleeps with. He clearly it does not want to
be monogamous.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
And but Kathy, did you notice she said we have
been working on defining our relationship and thinking about where
we could be down the road. Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Where we could be down the road is he's got
several other vaginas he's dealing with. That's where you're going
to be down the road. And you know what, it's okay,
back to what we said earlier. If you agree to that,
it's great. But my guess is based on what Anonymous
is saying. She's not okay with multiple vaginas being in
(13:50):
her life.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
So also, I hope to God because it grossed her out.
She addressed that with him when she saw him. That
would be one of the things I would talk to
him about. Why would you say, last vagina, that is
not well that it's just gross.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
It is well respectful. But you missed on who he is.
I mean, he's not on my dance card list. I
can tell you if but wait, she said, but then
he told me he loved me. Ladies, Please, I'm going
to speak for Susan and me together. Susan correct me
if I'm wrong. Ladies, the be all to end all
(14:32):
is not that a man tells you he loves you.
It's in his actions, It's in his behavior. It is.
Words are easy. Words are words, words are cheap. Actions
are what defines a man. It's what defines everyone. Don't
listen to what I say, watch what I do. So
(14:56):
I think, Anonymous, you are getting sucked in because he
told you he loves you. He didn't say he loves you,
and he's not going to sleep around or find of.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
The let's not forget he's still on the dating site.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Well, that's because he Susan, do you know why he
he's looking? No? He stopped the sentence there. He said,
I'm just looking. He's looking for other vaginas. And if
she doesn't see that's what I'm saying, sweetie, Anonymous. If
you don't see this for what it is, I'm sorry
you might have to learn a tough lesson. But I
(15:29):
would have the conversation with him, definitely. If you're okay
with multiple sex partners, then move forward in this relationship.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
But if you're not the Gina Susan, Susan, I can't
get past I can't, I can't, I can't throw up
in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Okay, that's lasting Vagina.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I mean says that I don't know. Don't drive three
hours ever again for a last vagina. Man, Okay, just
just say.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Well no, wait if it is the last vagina? Wait,
can we have a dollar for every time we've said
vagina in this podcast? The last vaginal? I'll give you
ten bucks. All right, we're moving on. Good luck. Let
us know. Oh, by the way, and im and I'm
being serious here, if he's sleeping around you better require
condoms and a blood test, an STD test, respect exactly,
(16:24):
a note from the doctor.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Good luck anonymous, Good luck anonymous.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Let us know how it goes. Okay, our next one
is another anonymous.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Just pause, think about this. What what would your reaction
be if he said that to you? I can't get passed, susan,
my dear, my last vagina? Am I supposed to go?
I love you?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
I don't know, but I think I have to be
honest with you. You and I are confident women, and I
think this guy has probably given off vibes that are
disgusting in other ways. But she's put up with it.
So the fact that he is on dating sites and
(17:07):
she says he doesn't necessarily talk to him when they're anonymous.
I'm willing to bet my I'm willing to bet my
last you know, my grandchild. Trust and believe he is
talking to other women. People are not on dating sites.
To look. You want to go windows shopping, Go to
the sporting goods store. Okay, all right, moving on high lady.
(17:31):
This again from anonymous. Hi ladies. My sixty two year
old neighbor lost his wife of forty years eighteen months ago.
I'm sorry. She was the love of his life and
was beloved by everyone. Two months after her death, he
sold their home and moved to a fifty five and
up community. I thought it was quick, but after his
(17:53):
wife's long battle with cancer, I'm sure he needed a change.
After vacationing with us and another couple in January, he
opened up about being lonely and said he was ready
to begin dating. We were happy to hear this. He's
a wonderful man, smart, successful, attractive, and has a great personality.
Two weeks ago he had a first date with a
(18:14):
lady he met online. In those two weeks, they've met
each other's young adult children, have had dinner with very
close friends, have babysat his grandchild, and seen each other
every single day. He even shared with me last evening
that he's had the prenup talk with her already, I
thought to myself, WHOA, what's the hurry? Seems like this
(18:38):
is moving at warp speed. I care for this guy
and would hate to see him rush into something as
serious as marriage. Do I have a heart to heart
with him about my concerns or keep my mouth shut
and just be happy for him. I'm leaning toward the latter.
Thanks concerned Friend's Anonymous, You got it right, baby, Keep your.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Mouth shut shut because people can meet and can fall
really quick. And if people does happen, if people.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Do see, if.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
People do think it's touching, I think it's harder for
because they think, oh what is she money hungry or or.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Whatever it is? Or is he is he just desperate?
Because but here's the thing, Susan, here's the thing. If
it doesn't work out, they've tried to make it work out,
and they've enjoyed the time together. And time is short, folks.
Time is short. And when yours and golden years are short,
(19:46):
it's not like you're twenty.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Three and have to build a future and buy your
first house and have children.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
All. Yeah, yeah, So, I say, Anonymous, you know, I
know we're going to catch some flat for this, but
I would never have said this, you know, earlier in
my life. But now you find the man that you
think you love, you find the woman that you think
you love, go for it, jump in and see what happens.
(20:14):
Because you don't get these days back. You don't get
this time back, you know, as much as we need
to admit it, Susan, we talk about this being our
last chapter and our best chapter, and for I think
it is. But you know what, don't waste a day
of it. Don't waste a day if it doesn't know.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Kathy, if they're really close and she finds him alone
and they're talking, she could say something, but just say,
you know, I'm so happy for you. You guys seem so
happy and are you sure you know? Is this? Is
this what you want to do? You know? Something like
that on a note, on a positive note. Yeah, just
she could have them over for dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
So would I?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I would all be happy, you know what I like?
You know what I'd be saying, damn it another lost
That's exactly what say? You knew it? You knew that?
All right? All right?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Well we're going to concerned friend. Just be a friend, yeah, they're.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
A friend, and be supportive be there and please let
us know. And I'm going to just take Susan's line
away from her. If they decide to get married, please
reach out to Susan. She's a wedding officient she'd be
so happy to do it. And I will come along
with her and throw the rose petals.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
But you know what, can I add something? Kathy?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Sure?
Speaker 1 (21:31):
At my age, I don't necessarily think you have to
get married either, do I? I would like to be engaged,
so you know I'm with that person.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
But no, Susan, you want to be engaged so you
can have a ring?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Just be honest, I do I haven't learned one in
a really long time. Okay, so you could lift together.
I mean all those prenups and all that, none of
that is necessary.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I well, no, no, no, no, no no no no no
no no. In many states, if you cohabitate and you
live together for more than one year, yeah, and you
share bills, your name is an Abil, you are then
considered legally married and that so absolutely I would I
(22:16):
would have a preemp.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Do you feel about it? Would you just live with
somebody or do you have to be married?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
I do not? At age, I do not feel the
need to get married. But if I met the man
who loved me and said, you know, I meet you
by my side every minute of the day, and I
loved him and we loved each other that much, I
would consider getting married. But I will be honest, if
(22:43):
you to just move in, I would have a prenup.
I would because but my situation is different, Susan. You
know my husband, Well it feels different to me. My
husband worked really hard for the money he earned, and
I want my children.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
To get Anybody at our age is gonna you know so,
but but go to their families their kids.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Well, but I'm not saying but I would support myself.
I would contribute to our joint living all of those things.
But but in terms of wealth, transferring wealth.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
You know, my kids a whole different story.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yeah, so I would probably have a peanut. But no,
I don't feel the need to be married. But I
will never I'm old enough now to say I will
never say never on anything. Would you get married?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, or you don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
That's not my goal. My goal is to find my
person and live together and enjoy each other. The marriage
part is I mean I could marry us.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
You know, Susan's gonna be sitting in the bedroom quiet
night over a bowl of popcorn. Hey, let's get married.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm gonna perform say else, And to me, that is
the most important thing when you're looking in somebody's eyes
and it's just the two of you and share why
you want them in your lives and how they make
you happy or vice versa. And I commit myself to
you and you commit yourself to me. That's matag.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Wait can we put the word monogamous in there? Please?
You're only having sex with me.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
But I'm happy for your neighbor.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah, you know what, really, Mozzle, I am so happy
for your neighbor. I wish them happiness. I hope you
wish them happiness. All right, we are going to we're
going to try something a little different today. Oh. As
(24:42):
we all know, dating in your golden years is tough,
it is, and it's not necessarily really openly spoken about.
So we are here today, Susan, we are going to
change that we want. I think we really should discuss
some major themes that we see in our listener writings
(25:03):
as well as in you know, our experiences and our friends'
experiences are you okay, right, yeah, all right, So the end,
some of these are I'm just going to warn you
some of these are tough because we are of a
certain age. Okay, how do you navigate dating with health issues?
You know, at our age, Susan, Whether we want to
believe it or not, health issues can be serious and ongoing.
(25:28):
So you know, how do you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I think you should be if you're in a monogamous relationship,
of course, monogamous that you have to be honest if
you have health issues. I mean, you can't just surprise them, no,
but how do you But you know, I would want
to know if my partner that dating has health issues.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I mean I would too. But I told you some
of these are going to be hard. Let's just say
you find out you meet a guy and you're, you know,
really into him, and you've been dating a couple I mean,
I'm making this up obviously, you've been dating a couple
of months, and you find out the guy has Parkinson's
or he's been diagnosed with you know, a blood cancer,
(26:11):
some kind of leukemia. How are you going to feel
about that? Because it's not well, you know, that's going
to be an onwe to ask.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yourself the question are you here to take care of him?
There you got do you love him enough to be
there for him in the bad times? Because that's you know,
when you get older, shit happens if you will.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, but Susan, wait, that's for me. Will wait a minute.
But for me, that's the difference when you get married.
You know, when I got married at twenty and at
that altar, and they said, do you promise to love
in sickness and in health? You know, sickness was a
long way off, right, You're thinking.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
If you had the flu, we just still.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Exactly like, Oh shit's I got to bring him chicken
little soup. He's got the flu. I don't know. Maybe
I will, Maybe I will. I'm talking serious health issues,
and so if you get involved with someone who has
a serious, on going health issue.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I mean, you've got to think about your life.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Is that okay with you? You won't get to do
all the fun things that you thought you could do
at this stage of the game. Get up and go.
If he's ill or she is ill, do you like?
They are my Italians that we love so much, Kathy,
you know, my best friends that we travel with alive
and they're from Italy and they're beautiful people. And he
(27:34):
worked all his life to go and enjoy and she
had a stroke.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yes, but Susan, the difference they've been married forever. I'm saying,
stating in our golden years, I'm going to be I'm
nothing if not honest. I if it were a terminal illness,
I'd have a really hard time doing that.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I would, But would you do anything about it internally?
You'd have a hard time. But would you stop seeing
him because of it?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (28:09):
That's hard.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I'm just gonna say for this is not a judgment
on any man who may want a date for me
with me, but I've buried one husband the hardest of
ways possible. If I were dating a guy a couple
of months and they told me he told me that
he had a terminal diagnosis he had just found out,
(28:31):
I don't know if I could do it, Susan, It
it takes too much out of me at my age.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Think it would depend on how I felt about it.
You know, I'm going to get hate mail for this.
You know I am No, You're just being honest. I mean,
I mean I can deal.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I can deal with the chronic health situation, you know things,
but that's not life or death.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
We talked about one of our fan questions some time ago.
She had a bream issue, remember, and the sex was
none and she didn't want to do couldn't do anything,
and he hung in there for her.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, but that's different. It wasn't for death.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
No, no, yeah, I think for me, it's the life
for a couple of years. That's a long time.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, No, I know, you know, all right, So what
about the next one? Do you share finances? Do you
get a prenup? You know, when you get married young,
you're in it together to build your lives together. Right,
but in your golden years, you know, some of us
have generational wealth. Some of us have debts, debt. How
(29:37):
do you feel I'd like.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
To know if they're in debt, because I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
You're not doing what.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
I don't want somebody that's in debt. I wait, a
man that can take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Would you wait, wait a minute. What if he's in debt,
but he's paying his debt because he's working, he's paining, okay,
or he has you know, you're you're saying you don't
want to pay for someone else's debt, Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Nor would I ever expect anybody to pay for mine.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Would would you? Would you want a prenup? Would you
share your finances with them? Would you show them how
much money you have?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
I got it. I'm an open book. I probably in
my brain's telling me, no, you shouldn't tell them everything.
But the other side of me is, if I'm that
in love with you, you need to know everything. But
you also need to know it's for my children.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
So for me, uh, I would have to be living
with the guy before I would share my financial wealth.
But by then we've already had a prenup and he
would know that I'm gonna support me. I'm gonna you know,
we're gonna have a joint checking account. We're going to
share the expenses of the house, unless he wants to
(30:52):
pay for it all, and then I'm gonna graciously say thanks.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Well, I say he could pay for the house should
be paid for by them, but if it's not in
your paying the mortgage, then I chip in on the
utility bills or my food shopping. Of course, I probably wait.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Can I just tell you more than I'm sorry? I
got to deviate one second. Here Susan goes shopping. Were
you know we were for a week? She showed. I mean,
I don't we all know Kathy doesn't cook. Literally, we
walk out, she goes it wasn't bad. It was only
four hundred euros. Like, Susan, that's it's like, that's more
(31:24):
than four hundred dollars for one week of groceries. Just
putting it out there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
It wasn't even a whole week of groceries.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Well, I was trying not to embarrass you further.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Okay, Well, Kathy, let me ask you, when is the
right time that you're going to integrate your families? Okay,
people have established routines with lives where families. Now, when
do you think it's time not just to meet him,
but his family? And do you think that works? Do
(31:53):
you think that ever is going to be like oh,
I can't wait to call my stepbrother or you know.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Well, I can tell you I've done this a couple
of times with guys that I dated for more than
ten minutes, and integrating I did it slowly, invited uh
my kids to come to dinner one night when he
was here. Yes, Susan, I did cook dinner that night.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I think you ordered, didn't you. That was such a bitch.
I know she did.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I cooked all right, it was in the microwave.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
No. I re called me last week and showed me
a video. Can I just share, Susan, I'm going to
make hamburgers tonight. I go on to the grill now
in the house, in the stove. Why what do I do? Wait? Okay,
the visit scent of the blackened mess. Okay, this ruined
the Okay, wait, we're talking. We're talking dating, but we
(32:54):
have to and we got to stop with this story.
I my grill. You can't make this ship up my
grill about oh, I don't know. Six weeks ago, I
was cooking something and the residue caught on fire. And
my son's a firefighter. I was like, oh my god,
freaked out, close something down, the fire went out. Haven't
(33:15):
touched that girl, since I just need underneath.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Well, now, I learned how to clean the grill, and
I did. I did. But prior to cleaning the grill,
I wanted to make hamburgers, and so I thought I will.
This is a true story, folks. I was on the
phone chatting with Nancy from our season who I adore,
And I'm cooking the hamburger, and I said, Susan, how
do you cook a hamburger? And so she told me
what to do. So I started doing it, cooking it.
I was talking to Nancy. I turned around. My whole
(33:40):
stove is on fire. Flames everywhere. I went, Oh my god,
because the grease from the hamburger caught on fire.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
So between that and the pants to high whatever, it
was a little black.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And you've heard of black, and see not this.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
No, no, no, no, it was not edible.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I ate every last bite. It was delicious.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
And see that's the problem. You don't even know the difference.
I can't. I can't.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
Susan lives to eat. I eat to live.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Okay, moving along, so yeah, how soon? Like I have
a big mouth, Like I get excited if I meet
somebody that I really like, and I've seen a couple
of times. I want to tell my kids about it.
Yeah you don't.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
I oh, no, I may tell my children I'm dating someone.
I just Susan, I have not, you know, since my
husband died, I've dated a couple of guys for any
length of time, and my children met them, and my
children liked them, but I waited. You know, I told them,
I said, I'm dating a guy. You know, I think
I'm going to date them. You know, it's not a
(34:45):
one day but yeah, I'm seeing somebody. It's not a
one day guy, but I my children are adults, and again,
you're divorced. That's different. My husband died by suicide, and
my kids are very sensitive, particularly my daughter about it.
Six years, right, six, Jess was six years but you
(35:06):
know it's it's it was her dad. She was young.
I'm very careful about who I introduce my kids to.
Casual dates. No, And I would encourage people if you're
dating in your golden years, don't feel the rush to
you know, this guy you've had two dates with, to
introduce him to your children and your grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
But then say you're in it like the better part
of a year and it's a holiday. Do you invite
his kids as well as yours?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
You know, that's a tougher one. I think it depends
on the dynamic between you and your kids. Would you
do it?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Oh? Yeah, they all come.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Well, Susan has a house full of ninety you know,
in every holiday, so really, one boyfriend, excuse me, one
boyfriend more or less really just kind of melds into
the crowd. No one cares, all right, Kath, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
What are you really looking for in a relationship?
Speaker 2 (36:06):
That is so easy for me to answer, Susan, I'm
looking for the guy who loves me for who I am,
wants to spend time with me, wants to wake up
next to me, isn't trying to change me. It's just
so happy that I've come into his life and he's
come into my.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Life pretty so makes you smile, makes.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
And I make him smile pretty much? What about you?
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Same?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yeah? Just not that hard, okay that I like this
new guy me. Of course you do, because it's not
it's not what was what you hated?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
I think the answer for you what you would do?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Yeah, exactly. We've forgotten it, all right, it's all forgotten anyway.
Thank you all to our listeners. We hope you know
you learned. You certainly learned about Kathy's fires on the
grill and on the stove. You've learned about Susan and
I are looking for in guys. So thank you for
joining us today.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
And thank you again, and make sure you follow Bachelor
Happy Hour as we have a lot new, a lot
more new. I'm telling you a lot of new questions
episodes coming out every week, and you don't want to
miss this. And then what we're going to say.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
You never know, You never know, just you just never know.
But here's the thing. We can't answer your questions if
you don't submit them to us. It's just that's the
way that goes. All you have to do, it's simple.
Go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or even
easier dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Absolutely listen to our Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on
the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast.
This has been fun, so much fun.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Have a great week, everybody, come
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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