April 17, 2025 • 31 mins
On today's episode, Host Q Ward shares a recent incident where the "N" word was hurled at him.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is the Black Information Network Daily podcast, and I
am your host, rams' Ja. And sometimes the amount of
stories that make their way to us means that we
simply can't cover.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Everything that comes our way.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
But from time to time, a story just stays with me,
and Bill compelled to share it with you and give
you my thoughts. And now one more thing, Rams's jaw Que.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am a forty three year old black man from Detroit, Michigan,
the west side of Detroit seven Mile Road to be specific.
This I know. Grew up in Detroit in the eighties
and the nineties, and almost one hundred percent of my
(00:52):
classmates were black. One hundred percent of my friends were black.
I had teachers that were not, but almost everyone that
I interacted with on a daily basis that did not
(01:15):
teach at a school that I attended was black. I
knew that racism existed. It shaped the world that I
lived in, but my experiences with regards to racism were
very observational, almost like watching a TV show then having
(01:43):
to go through them in real time or experience them myself.
And then I went to college and that immediately changed
because I went to college in a town where the
minority percentage was three, and for multiple classmates of mine,
(02:08):
I was the first black person they'd ever seen in
real life. I'll never forget the first time I rode
the campus shuttle. I parked my car and grabbed my
bag to go to football practice, and there were four
seats left on the shuttle, one of them next to me,
(02:29):
and four young ladies that were white got on the
shuttle and I watched as they all decided sitting next
to me was not what they wanted to do, and
the young lady who was tasked with having to sit
next to the black guy was kind of made fun
of by her friends. The cool thing that happened in
(02:53):
that moment is that she was more offended for me
than on comfortable with the idea that she had to
sit next to me like she almost, without saying any words,
gave me an apology on her friend's behalf, and I
reassured her without any words that she didn't need to
do that and that everything was going to be okay.
(03:15):
But that was the first time that being black placed
me on the wrong side of people's sentiment or fears
or trust for their own well being. As you can
imagine the insulation of Detroit, Michigan, stopped being there from
(03:36):
that moment, and the way that I experienced the world
from that point was a little bit more in HD
than my life had been prior to that. Fast forward,
(03:58):
and you and I have been on quite journey with
regard to race relations in this country. But I think
it's important to point out that long before Civic Cipher
was born, long before the Black Information Network existed, Estella's
child was a scholar, athlete, a member of Phi Beta
(04:24):
Sigma Fraternity Incorporated, the national second vice president of the
National Panelanic Council, the vice president of the Wood County
Bowling Green State University Chapter of the NAACP. And I
could list accomplishments and achievements all day. The son of
(04:46):
a pastor who went out of his way for all
forty three of these years, and about to be forty four,
soon to steer clear of the law, to try not
to break my mother's heart, to really try to do
the right thing, a deansless college student, a Division I athlete.
(05:12):
I tried to do my job. I tried to keep
that promise to my mom that I would make her proud,
that I would, you know, try to excel in every
field and stay out of jail. And from where I
come from, reaching eighteen is an accomplishment. You know. My
(05:35):
first year in college I had to go back and
bury teammates and classmates, seventeen and eighteen year old young men.
And the perils of growing up in an impoverished inner
city in this country, they're hard to avoid for all
(05:56):
of us. MS is from Compton, California, myself again Detroit, Michigan.
But name a neighborhood in any inner city or the
population looks like us by design because the system placed
us all there, put us in situations where we had
to fight each other to survive for limited resources and
(06:18):
limited money and limited food, you know, sub part education,
sub part living conditions, a scarcity mindset that caused us
to go against one another just because you know, my
kid has to eat. And if that means your kid doesn't,
(06:38):
or that you don't, or that you don't survive, then
so be it to have family members and siblings that
have succumbed to the circumstances that we were born into,
you know, to climb up this ladder and to get
(07:01):
to this point where you know, life has forced us
to make decisions from our car ride through Mississippi, through
the kitchens and making Georgia that I used to work
in to our blackness, causing us to work to walk
away from our careers in radio that ultimately led us
(07:24):
to where we are today. You know, it's perplexing that
a couple of days ago I found myself walking down
the street, not interacting with anyone, not in the company
(07:45):
of anyone, just walking. And there's a thing that happens
when you walk down a public street toward another person.
If there's space, there's a deviation, and that happens just
to not collide into one another. Sometimes it's a subtle
(08:06):
dip of the shoulder. Sometimes it's a full step out
of the way. Ramsen and I, unfortunately have had to
witness people completely crossing the street what they perceived to
be threatening about the black man walking toward them. But
in this case, as I got closer and closer to
this man, and the distance between us grew smaller and smaller,
(08:32):
I noticed that he was making no such deviation. He
was not going to drop his shoulder, he was not
going to move over to the left of the right.
He for certain was not going to cross the street.
And because I was on the phone. I allowed this
man to get way closer than I normally would before
(08:52):
I realized, oh, he's not going to move, and then
he lunged at me, and I was able to sidestep
him and kind of pivot around him to not fall.
But I'm looking at his face and I realized this
was not a mistake. He wasn't not paying attention. He
(09:18):
was very, very intentionally coming at me, lunged at me
as if he was trying to hit me or tackle
me or fight me or whatever. And I remember asking him, sir,
are you okay. I would have done better to just
(09:39):
have gotten out of the man's way and continued walking,
but his response was no, I'm not okay, you stupid
effing inward. You know, there's a thing that happens when
(10:07):
you witness things happening to other people where your mind thinks,
I know what I would do in that situation. Yeah,
I know how I would respond if that happened to me.
You know, I told a story before where someone tried
(10:28):
to kidnap my son in my presence, and you think
you know exactly what you'll do in the moment, and
to that moment happens it is so shocking and unsettling
and catches you so off guard. It takes a second
for your mind to process what's happening. And I'm guessing
(10:50):
he could see the kind of shocked expression on my face,
so he tried to close the space again, except this
time I don't know that I decided that I wasn't moving,
but I just didn't. And this somehow enraged him even more,
(11:17):
and he says dead dead a but you know the
other word for donkey. You need to get the f
out of here, you fing inn word.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
This was completely unprovoked, just walking down the street.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
We're both walking down the street, and that's the whole thing.
You did think he left his house looking for me
that day. I complete strangers passing in the street, and
I didn't make the decision that I wasn't going to move,
Like I said, I just wasn't moving. My feet had
(11:58):
decided that this is where we're going to stand right now.
And every possibility is playing through my head. What if
he has a knife, What if he has a gun?
What if we get into a fight and someone calls
the cops and says, there's a black guy fighting a
white guy. Because no one's there to hear the interaction.
(12:22):
When the police show up, who do they believe? Do
they even talk to us first? Do they draw weapons?
Do I get arrested? Does this fight not go my way?
Do I get stabbed? Do I get shot? Do I
end up in court? Do I go like? Every possibility
and fast forward is flooding through my head. But I
(12:44):
can just keep hearing this man call me different variations
of a stupid effing inward over and over again. And
what happens is, eventually it's not just him and I anymore.
A couple with their two daughters. There's a young woman jogging,
there's another guy walking down the street, and it's a street,
(13:08):
and eventually there are people all around, and now we
have an audience to this interaction. But only I care
about the audience. Once I see these two little girls,
it's not even about me anymore, because unfortunately, and I
hate saying that these two little girls are black. And
(13:31):
he's made it very very clear the way he sees
black people. And these little girls are walking toward him,
but behind him, so if they catch him off guard,
or they're too close to him, or he looks over
and he sees them what happens, because I'm far enough
away that if he tries something, I have time to prepare,
I have time to react. I see what this is. Okay,
here we go. This family walking up has no idea
(13:53):
what's happening. They can't hear the interaction. And another woman
walks by. He startles her, and then I pull out
my phone and I call the cops because this is
no longer just me and this man. This could I
don't know how this is going to turn out. And
(14:15):
the lady must have known I was calling the cops
because she says, sir, are you calling nine one one?
And I said yes, ma'am, and she said, there's actually
an officer right here. And then the guy turns. He
doesn't run away, but he walks away like with's some intention. Yeah,
I get the intention of the officer. He goes into
(14:38):
a building and he's weaving in and out of the building.
Eventually the officer calls her back up. They put the
guy in handcuffs, and then they need to talk to me,
and my heart is beating really, really fast. But again,
I'm thinking more about those little girls than myself. And
(15:00):
the officers say, unfortunately, because he only tried to assault you.
There's not really anything we can do. There's no crime. Now,
had he hit you and said those same words, it
would have been a hate crime. He'd spend the night
in jail at best. But because nothing happened. But besides
(15:25):
him being an idiot, we can't arrest him for being
an idiot. We can, however, remove him from the premises
and hope that nothing like this ever happens again. Man,
We're sorry, but that's all we can do. And in
my mind, as long as you guys are taking him
away from here and these people are safe and they're fine,
(15:49):
you know, it is what it is. And then I
went back to my walk, and I wish that that
was the end of the story. You know, I wish
I was fine and wasn't a big deal because you know,
words don't hurt, right, Except eventually I sat down, and
(16:14):
all of that adrenaline and that increased heart rate and
everything my mind had to process in the moment sat
down with me, and my eyes welled up with tears,
and I was reminded that this is Trump's America, and
in twenty twenty five, a completely unprovoked adult white man
(16:40):
would see me walking down the street. Quentin Ward from Detroit,
Michigan scholar, athlete, broadcaster, DJ consultant, creative writer, professional, deangeless student, father,
(17:00):
Pastor Seacrest's son, and based just on the amount of
melanin in my skin, decide that I'm his enemy, that
I'm beneath him, that I don't even deserve the space
(17:21):
that I'm walking in, and that I'm a stupid, effing
inward and passionately, not jokingly in the way that he
was just trying to harass and laugh with his friends
and have a beer and make me uncomfortable, but really
vehemently angry, trying to fight me like an insisting that
(17:45):
I fight him. A man that I never shared a
word with, that I never had a conversation with, that
I never offended, that I never brought me harm to,
that I never said anything to or about that emboldened hate.
(18:08):
I was shaken up for the rest of the day.
And then two days later, walking down the same street,
no encountered the same man. Wow, and Ramses you probably
(18:29):
remember I called you, yeah, and I said, here he
is again, and Ramses wanted to stay on the phone
with me, you know, in case something happened but it
was like, I'll call you back because I just first
(18:50):
of all, the chances of crossing paths with this man
again in the city of this size, is it impossible?
But there were no words exchanged this time. I don't
even know that the man recognized me this time. I
don't even know that I stood out in this man's
(19:11):
eyes this time. All I knew all at once was
that he's not alone.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Okay, It's funny how if you had only caught him
the second time and not the first time, you wouldn't
there would be no way to know that he harbors
that level of hatred because often enough, they look like
(19:48):
normal people, and you would imagine that they would vote
with you know, a modicum of human decency. But yeah,
I remember you told me you texted me about the
first interaction and then called me about the second interaction.
(20:08):
You left out a lot of details that I'm hearing
right now for the first time. And it's interesting because
you know, you make a point about you know, we're
in Trump's America, where this element is embolden more than
at any other point in our lives, and you know
(20:29):
your story came on the heels of a less intense
story admittedly of someone reaching out to me. Basically I
won't tell that story, but basically because.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
We host Civic.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Cipher, the radio show, and you know, if a person
wanted to get a hold of me, they could, And
so you know, I end up having in exchange with
someone who I think the first what was it the
(21:07):
third word? Now, the fourth word that this man said
was the in word to me, like, are these the inwards.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
That you know?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Blah blah blah. And you're not wrong, you know, in
that moment, you like wonder what you'll do. You know,
you imagine what you're doing. In hindsight, of course, you're like,
I should have did this, I should have did that.
But the first thing that came in my mind was look,
hang the phone up. And I didn't ask, like, who
is this, what do you want?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Where are you based?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Do you have any harmful intentions to me or my children?
Because that's something that I've been through before with people
kind of getting the address of my children's schools. It's
an interesting element to confront head on like that. And
(22:06):
you know, the part of the story that was overwhelming
for me, it was the same part that was overwhelming
for you was when you finally sat down and kind
of that the gravity of it hits you. You know,
for you, obviously, it's just like I don't want, don't
don't don't let me speak for you, but I'll speak
for myself, and you know, you could let me know
if you agree. But I've been in similar situations where
(22:29):
I ask myself, you know, why did I have to
be born into a world that hates me? That doesn't
feel fair? Like why couldn't I have been like a
flower or a something that people like, you know what
I mean, Like what it would have to be this
that people hate? Now now my people love me, and
(22:50):
I know a lot of other people love.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Me too, but.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Black people historically, at least in this country, have been
sort of the lightning rod for hatred. If it's kind
of in mass you know, mass hatred, and that feels
like why that right? And you know, for you sitting
down with that, you know maybe there was a similar
(23:17):
feeling where you know, the weight hits you on you
once you come to rest, and for me an observer,
it makes me want to protect you. And you know,
I've said on this show many times that you know,
my my heart doesn't know how big my body is.
And you know, between the two of us, you are
(23:40):
perhaps a more formidable protector than I am. But you
couldn't tell my heart that if you need me, q
I'm coming.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And I know.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
That that's a truth that like that's a check you
could cash on a Sunday, you know what I mean.
And for me, it feels like you shouldn't have to
deal with that, and you you certainly shouldn't have to
(24:12):
deal with it alone. But I also recognize that perhaps
if you weren't alone, it wouldn't have happened. Maybe it
would have. But you know, also a fundamental fact of
our reality is that we're born, live and die alone.
Most of us die alone, you know, And so you know,
(24:38):
there are parts of our story that we have to
navigate ourselves and come to terms with who we are
in relation to those those elements. And I think, because
I know the trauma that is associated with those type
of moments, it breaks my heart too.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
People often discuss, you know, microaggressions and you know, a
little small things or whatever, and the truth is, you know,
you had an incident where someone said a word and
it hurts your feelings, You could reduce it to that
if you so chose, but that reality that conceivably could
serve to affirm the notion that you were born into
a world, or at least into a country that does
(25:21):
hate you. That is a traumatic experience and that stays
with you. And for people to pretend like feelings don't
matter is for people to pretend like human beings don't
have an essence to them. And I, if I can
(25:43):
do anything with this moment, I want to say thank
you for giving those folks who may not appreciate.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Your perspective.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Or you know what we talk about on the show,
but you know lurk and creep on our episodes and
creep on our social media and you know, want to
try to prove us wrong somehow invalidate our perspectives.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Having that story to tell and telling it the way
that it needs to be told, because for those people
that think that we're just imagining this stuff, that it's
not real, that we didn't get snatched out of our
car in Mississippi by two Mississippi State troopers, scared to
death for our life while they got the dogs on
(26:34):
us and did nothing wrong. You've never done a drug,
You've never drank alcohol in your life, queue and neither
have I ever, not once, never smoked anything, nothing, And
they got the drug dogs on us. That really happened.
And that wasn't the only time that ever happened to me,
but that's the time when it happened to me when
you were there. And that's kind of the primordial element
(26:58):
that helped us to start Civic SIPE and that led
us on our path here to the Black Information Network ultimately.
And so yeah, sharing stories like that that are really
real for people that would deny our reality if there's
nothing there, there's that silver lining.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Yeah, the thing that you said before before we go
about the questions that you ask yourself or your creator
or whatever it is that you believe in. In that moment,
we're far heavier than the question that you asked, not
just about being born in a time, in a country
(27:38):
and in a world that hates us. I question everything. Sure, Yeah,
my faith, my beliefs. You know, the guy that's the
President of the United States and his colleagues, his friends,
his cohorts, they have the best of everything life has
(28:02):
to offer, billions of dollars, enough money to feed everyone
on earth and not feel it enough money to him
and his friends could feed and hows everyone on earth
that doesn't have food or a house and still be billionaires.
(28:29):
Private jets, vacation homes, off parties, money, unlimited everything. We're
supposed to live and die and then experience happiness and
joy in the afterlife. And people who throughout the entire
(28:54):
history of mankind have subjugated, oppressed, killed, and from get
to live the best of their mortal lives here.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Or to imagine as God's will.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And we have to be on the losing end of it,
all of history. It is very, very hard to not
have your faith shaken when you watch this movie play
out this way every time forever.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Well, this is a time of introspection. There is a
time of you know, pondering and coming to terms with
who we are relative to our circumstances. And as always,
you know, my intention is to live this moment. Well,
I know that's some that's that's some that we share.
(30:00):
That sentiment is something that we share. So this is
what we do. We live our lives and we share
pieces of ourselves on the radio when it's emotional, or
on podcasts in this case, and our lives are raw and.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Real.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
So I think we've done our job for today, so
we'll leave it right there. If you have anything you
would like to ask or add, you can do so
using the red microphone talk back feature on the iHeartRadio app,
or you can hit me on all social media at
Rams's job. But I suspect you might want to follow
up with Q.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I am Qward on all social media as well.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah, and until we hear from you. A piece doesn't
feel like the right word, does it? Until we hear
from you? Good Bye. This has been a production of
the Black Information Network. To Day's show is produced by
Chris Thompson. Have some thoughts you'd like to share, use
(31:09):
the red microphone talkback feature on the iHeartRadio app. While
you're there, be sure to hit subscribing down With all
of our episodes, I am your host, ramses Jah on
all social media. Join us tomorrow as we share our
news with our voice from our perspective right here on
the Black Information Network Daily Podcast
This is the Black Information Network Daily podcast, and I
am your host, rams' Ja. And sometimes the amount of
stories that make their way to us means that we
simply can't cover.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Everything that comes our way.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
But from time to time, a story just stays with me,
and Bill compelled to share it with you and give
you my thoughts. And now one more thing, Rams's jaw Que.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am a forty three year old black man from Detroit, Michigan,
the west side of Detroit seven Mile Road to be specific.
This I know. Grew up in Detroit in the eighties
and the nineties, and almost one hundred percent of my
(00:52):
classmates were black. One hundred percent of my friends were black.
I had teachers that were not, but almost everyone that
I interacted with on a daily basis that did not
(01:15):
teach at a school that I attended was black. I
knew that racism existed. It shaped the world that I
lived in, but my experiences with regards to racism were
very observational, almost like watching a TV show then having
(01:43):
to go through them in real time or experience them myself.
And then I went to college and that immediately changed
because I went to college in a town where the
minority percentage was three, and for multiple classmates of mine,
(02:08):
I was the first black person they'd ever seen in
real life. I'll never forget the first time I rode
the campus shuttle. I parked my car and grabbed my
bag to go to football practice, and there were four
seats left on the shuttle, one of them next to me,
(02:29):
and four young ladies that were white got on the
shuttle and I watched as they all decided sitting next
to me was not what they wanted to do, and
the young lady who was tasked with having to sit
next to the black guy was kind of made fun
of by her friends. The cool thing that happened in
(02:53):
that moment is that she was more offended for me
than on comfortable with the idea that she had to
sit next to me like she almost, without saying any words,
gave me an apology on her friend's behalf, and I
reassured her without any words that she didn't need to
do that and that everything was going to be okay.
(03:15):
But that was the first time that being black placed
me on the wrong side of people's sentiment or fears
or trust for their own well being. As you can
imagine the insulation of Detroit, Michigan, stopped being there from
(03:36):
that moment, and the way that I experienced the world
from that point was a little bit more in HD
than my life had been prior to that. Fast forward,
(03:58):
and you and I have been on quite journey with
regard to race relations in this country. But I think
it's important to point out that long before Civic Cipher
was born, long before the Black Information Network existed, Estella's
child was a scholar, athlete, a member of Phi Beta
(04:24):
Sigma Fraternity Incorporated, the national second vice president of the
National Panelanic Council, the vice president of the Wood County
Bowling Green State University Chapter of the NAACP. And I
could list accomplishments and achievements all day. The son of
(04:46):
a pastor who went out of his way for all
forty three of these years, and about to be forty four,
soon to steer clear of the law, to try not
to break my mother's heart, to really try to do
the right thing, a deansless college student, a Division I athlete.
(05:12):
I tried to do my job. I tried to keep
that promise to my mom that I would make her proud,
that I would, you know, try to excel in every
field and stay out of jail. And from where I
come from, reaching eighteen is an accomplishment. You know. My
(05:35):
first year in college I had to go back and
bury teammates and classmates, seventeen and eighteen year old young men.
And the perils of growing up in an impoverished inner
city in this country, they're hard to avoid for all
(05:56):
of us. MS is from Compton, California, myself again Detroit, Michigan.
But name a neighborhood in any inner city or the
population looks like us by design because the system placed
us all there, put us in situations where we had
to fight each other to survive for limited resources and
(06:18):
limited money and limited food, you know, sub part education,
sub part living conditions, a scarcity mindset that caused us
to go against one another just because you know, my
kid has to eat. And if that means your kid doesn't,
(06:38):
or that you don't, or that you don't survive, then
so be it to have family members and siblings that
have succumbed to the circumstances that we were born into,
you know, to climb up this ladder and to get
(07:01):
to this point where you know, life has forced us
to make decisions from our car ride through Mississippi, through
the kitchens and making Georgia that I used to work
in to our blackness, causing us to work to walk
away from our careers in radio that ultimately led us
(07:24):
to where we are today. You know, it's perplexing that
a couple of days ago I found myself walking down
the street, not interacting with anyone, not in the company
(07:45):
of anyone, just walking. And there's a thing that happens
when you walk down a public street toward another person.
If there's space, there's a deviation, and that happens just
to not collide into one another. Sometimes it's a subtle
(08:06):
dip of the shoulder. Sometimes it's a full step out
of the way. Ramsen and I, unfortunately have had to
witness people completely crossing the street what they perceived to
be threatening about the black man walking toward them. But
in this case, as I got closer and closer to
this man, and the distance between us grew smaller and smaller,
(08:32):
I noticed that he was making no such deviation. He
was not going to drop his shoulder, he was not
going to move over to the left of the right.
He for certain was not going to cross the street.
And because I was on the phone. I allowed this
man to get way closer than I normally would before
(08:52):
I realized, oh, he's not going to move, and then
he lunged at me, and I was able to sidestep
him and kind of pivot around him to not fall.
But I'm looking at his face and I realized this
was not a mistake. He wasn't not paying attention. He
(09:18):
was very, very intentionally coming at me, lunged at me
as if he was trying to hit me or tackle
me or fight me or whatever. And I remember asking him, sir,
are you okay. I would have done better to just
(09:39):
have gotten out of the man's way and continued walking,
but his response was no, I'm not okay, you stupid
effing inward. You know, there's a thing that happens when
(10:07):
you witness things happening to other people where your mind thinks,
I know what I would do in that situation. Yeah,
I know how I would respond if that happened to me.
You know, I told a story before where someone tried
(10:28):
to kidnap my son in my presence, and you think
you know exactly what you'll do in the moment, and
to that moment happens it is so shocking and unsettling
and catches you so off guard. It takes a second
for your mind to process what's happening. And I'm guessing
(10:50):
he could see the kind of shocked expression on my face,
so he tried to close the space again, except this
time I don't know that I decided that I wasn't moving,
but I just didn't. And this somehow enraged him even more,
(11:17):
and he says dead dead a but you know the
other word for donkey. You need to get the f
out of here, you fing inn word.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
This was completely unprovoked, just walking down the street.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
We're both walking down the street, and that's the whole thing.
You did think he left his house looking for me
that day. I complete strangers passing in the street, and
I didn't make the decision that I wasn't going to move,
Like I said, I just wasn't moving. My feet had
(11:58):
decided that this is where we're going to stand right now.
And every possibility is playing through my head. What if
he has a knife, What if he has a gun?
What if we get into a fight and someone calls
the cops and says, there's a black guy fighting a
white guy. Because no one's there to hear the interaction.
(12:22):
When the police show up, who do they believe? Do
they even talk to us first? Do they draw weapons?
Do I get arrested? Does this fight not go my way?
Do I get stabbed? Do I get shot? Do I
end up in court? Do I go like? Every possibility
and fast forward is flooding through my head. But I
(12:44):
can just keep hearing this man call me different variations
of a stupid effing inward over and over again. And
what happens is, eventually it's not just him and I anymore.
A couple with their two daughters. There's a young woman jogging,
there's another guy walking down the street, and it's a street,
(13:08):
and eventually there are people all around, and now we
have an audience to this interaction. But only I care
about the audience. Once I see these two little girls,
it's not even about me anymore, because unfortunately, and I
hate saying that these two little girls are black. And
(13:31):
he's made it very very clear the way he sees
black people. And these little girls are walking toward him,
but behind him, so if they catch him off guard,
or they're too close to him, or he looks over
and he sees them what happens, because I'm far enough
away that if he tries something, I have time to prepare,
I have time to react. I see what this is. Okay,
here we go. This family walking up has no idea
(13:53):
what's happening. They can't hear the interaction. And another woman
walks by. He startles her, and then I pull out
my phone and I call the cops because this is
no longer just me and this man. This could I
don't know how this is going to turn out. And
(14:15):
the lady must have known I was calling the cops
because she says, sir, are you calling nine one one?
And I said yes, ma'am, and she said, there's actually
an officer right here. And then the guy turns. He
doesn't run away, but he walks away like with's some intention. Yeah,
I get the intention of the officer. He goes into
(14:38):
a building and he's weaving in and out of the building.
Eventually the officer calls her back up. They put the
guy in handcuffs, and then they need to talk to me,
and my heart is beating really, really fast. But again,
I'm thinking more about those little girls than myself. And
(15:00):
the officers say, unfortunately, because he only tried to assault you.
There's not really anything we can do. There's no crime. Now,
had he hit you and said those same words, it
would have been a hate crime. He'd spend the night
in jail at best. But because nothing happened. But besides
(15:25):
him being an idiot, we can't arrest him for being
an idiot. We can, however, remove him from the premises
and hope that nothing like this ever happens again. Man,
We're sorry, but that's all we can do. And in
my mind, as long as you guys are taking him
away from here and these people are safe and they're fine,
(15:49):
you know, it is what it is. And then I
went back to my walk, and I wish that that
was the end of the story. You know, I wish
I was fine and wasn't a big deal because you know,
words don't hurt, right, Except eventually I sat down, and
(16:14):
all of that adrenaline and that increased heart rate and
everything my mind had to process in the moment sat
down with me, and my eyes welled up with tears,
and I was reminded that this is Trump's America, and
in twenty twenty five, a completely unprovoked adult white man
(16:40):
would see me walking down the street. Quentin Ward from Detroit,
Michigan scholar, athlete, broadcaster, DJ consultant, creative writer, professional, deangeless student, father,
(17:00):
Pastor Seacrest's son, and based just on the amount of
melanin in my skin, decide that I'm his enemy, that
I'm beneath him, that I don't even deserve the space
(17:21):
that I'm walking in, and that I'm a stupid, effing
inward and passionately, not jokingly in the way that he
was just trying to harass and laugh with his friends
and have a beer and make me uncomfortable, but really
vehemently angry, trying to fight me like an insisting that
(17:45):
I fight him. A man that I never shared a
word with, that I never had a conversation with, that
I never offended, that I never brought me harm to,
that I never said anything to or about that emboldened hate.
(18:08):
I was shaken up for the rest of the day.
And then two days later, walking down the same street,
no encountered the same man. Wow, and Ramses you probably
(18:29):
remember I called you, yeah, and I said, here he
is again, and Ramses wanted to stay on the phone
with me, you know, in case something happened but it
was like, I'll call you back because I just first
(18:50):
of all, the chances of crossing paths with this man
again in the city of this size, is it impossible?
But there were no words exchanged this time. I don't
even know that the man recognized me this time. I
don't even know that I stood out in this man's
(19:11):
eyes this time. All I knew all at once was
that he's not alone.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Okay, It's funny how if you had only caught him
the second time and not the first time, you wouldn't
there would be no way to know that he harbors
that level of hatred because often enough, they look like
(19:48):
normal people, and you would imagine that they would vote
with you know, a modicum of human decency. But yeah,
I remember you told me you texted me about the
first interaction and then called me about the second interaction.
(20:08):
You left out a lot of details that I'm hearing
right now for the first time. And it's interesting because
you know, you make a point about you know, we're
in Trump's America, where this element is embolden more than
at any other point in our lives, and you know
(20:29):
your story came on the heels of a less intense
story admittedly of someone reaching out to me. Basically I
won't tell that story, but basically because.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
We host Civic.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Cipher, the radio show, and you know, if a person
wanted to get a hold of me, they could, And
so you know, I end up having in exchange with
someone who I think the first what was it the
(21:07):
third word? Now, the fourth word that this man said
was the in word to me, like, are these the inwards.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
That you know?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Blah blah blah. And you're not wrong, you know, in
that moment, you like wonder what you'll do. You know,
you imagine what you're doing. In hindsight, of course, you're like,
I should have did this, I should have did that.
But the first thing that came in my mind was look,
hang the phone up. And I didn't ask, like, who
is this, what do you want?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Where are you based?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Do you have any harmful intentions to me or my children?
Because that's something that I've been through before with people
kind of getting the address of my children's schools. It's
an interesting element to confront head on like that. And
(22:06):
you know, the part of the story that was overwhelming
for me, it was the same part that was overwhelming
for you was when you finally sat down and kind
of that the gravity of it hits you. You know,
for you, obviously, it's just like I don't want, don't
don't don't let me speak for you, but I'll speak
for myself, and you know, you could let me know
if you agree. But I've been in similar situations where
(22:29):
I ask myself, you know, why did I have to
be born into a world that hates me? That doesn't
feel fair? Like why couldn't I have been like a
flower or a something that people like, you know what
I mean, Like what it would have to be this
that people hate? Now now my people love me, and
(22:50):
I know a lot of other people love.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Me too, but.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Black people historically, at least in this country, have been
sort of the lightning rod for hatred. If it's kind
of in mass you know, mass hatred, and that feels
like why that right? And you know, for you sitting
down with that, you know maybe there was a similar
(23:17):
feeling where you know, the weight hits you on you
once you come to rest, and for me an observer,
it makes me want to protect you. And you know,
I've said on this show many times that you know,
my my heart doesn't know how big my body is.
And you know, between the two of us, you are
(23:40):
perhaps a more formidable protector than I am. But you
couldn't tell my heart that if you need me, q
I'm coming.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
And I know.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
That that's a truth that like that's a check you
could cash on a Sunday, you know what I mean.
And for me, it feels like you shouldn't have to
deal with that, and you you certainly shouldn't have to
(24:12):
deal with it alone. But I also recognize that perhaps
if you weren't alone, it wouldn't have happened. Maybe it
would have. But you know, also a fundamental fact of
our reality is that we're born, live and die alone.
Most of us die alone, you know, And so you know,
(24:38):
there are parts of our story that we have to
navigate ourselves and come to terms with who we are
in relation to those those elements. And I think, because
I know the trauma that is associated with those type
of moments, it breaks my heart too.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
People often discuss, you know, microaggressions and you know, a
little small things or whatever, and the truth is, you know,
you had an incident where someone said a word and
it hurts your feelings, You could reduce it to that
if you so chose, but that reality that conceivably could
serve to affirm the notion that you were born into
a world, or at least into a country that does
(25:21):
hate you. That is a traumatic experience and that stays
with you. And for people to pretend like feelings don't
matter is for people to pretend like human beings don't
have an essence to them. And I, if I can
(25:43):
do anything with this moment, I want to say thank
you for giving those folks who may not appreciate.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Your perspective.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Or you know what we talk about on the show,
but you know lurk and creep on our episodes and
creep on our social media and you know, want to
try to prove us wrong somehow invalidate our perspectives.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Having that story to tell and telling it the way
that it needs to be told, because for those people
that think that we're just imagining this stuff, that it's
not real, that we didn't get snatched out of our
car in Mississippi by two Mississippi State troopers, scared to
death for our life while they got the dogs on
(26:34):
us and did nothing wrong. You've never done a drug,
You've never drank alcohol in your life, queue and neither
have I ever, not once, never smoked anything, nothing, And
they got the drug dogs on us. That really happened.
And that wasn't the only time that ever happened to me,
but that's the time when it happened to me when
you were there. And that's kind of the primordial element
(26:58):
that helped us to start Civic SIPE and that led
us on our path here to the Black Information Network ultimately.
And so yeah, sharing stories like that that are really
real for people that would deny our reality if there's
nothing there, there's that silver lining.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Yeah, the thing that you said before before we go
about the questions that you ask yourself or your creator
or whatever it is that you believe in. In that moment,
we're far heavier than the question that you asked, not
just about being born in a time, in a country
(27:38):
and in a world that hates us. I question everything. Sure, Yeah,
my faith, my beliefs. You know, the guy that's the
President of the United States and his colleagues, his friends,
his cohorts, they have the best of everything life has
(28:02):
to offer, billions of dollars, enough money to feed everyone
on earth and not feel it enough money to him
and his friends could feed and hows everyone on earth
that doesn't have food or a house and still be billionaires.
(28:29):
Private jets, vacation homes, off parties, money, unlimited everything. We're
supposed to live and die and then experience happiness and
joy in the afterlife. And people who throughout the entire
(28:54):
history of mankind have subjugated, oppressed, killed, and from get
to live the best of their mortal lives here.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Or to imagine as God's will.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And we have to be on the losing end of it,
all of history. It is very, very hard to not
have your faith shaken when you watch this movie play
out this way every time forever.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Well, this is a time of introspection. There is a
time of you know, pondering and coming to terms with
who we are relative to our circumstances. And as always,
you know, my intention is to live this moment. Well,
I know that's some that's that's some that we share.
(30:00):
That sentiment is something that we share. So this is
what we do. We live our lives and we share
pieces of ourselves on the radio when it's emotional, or
on podcasts in this case, and our lives are raw and.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Real.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
So I think we've done our job for today, so
we'll leave it right there. If you have anything you
would like to ask or add, you can do so
using the red microphone talk back feature on the iHeartRadio app,
or you can hit me on all social media at
Rams's job. But I suspect you might want to follow
up with Q.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I am Qward on all social media as well.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah, and until we hear from you. A piece doesn't
feel like the right word, does it? Until we hear
from you? Good Bye. This has been a production of
the Black Information Network. To Day's show is produced by
Chris Thompson. Have some thoughts you'd like to share, use
(31:09):
the red microphone talkback feature on the iHeartRadio app. While
you're there, be sure to hit subscribing down With all
of our episodes, I am your host, ramses Jah on
all social media. Join us tomorrow as we share our
news with our voice from our perspective right here on
the Black Information Network Daily Podcast
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