March 19, 2025 • 25 mins
Hey y'all! In this episode Jess helps someone who is struggling with helping her younger sister through a hard time. If you have a sibling (or just a loved one in general) who closes off when they're going through something, tap in!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaks to the Plannet. I go by the name of
Charlamagne the God, and guess what, I can't wait to
see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.
That's right, We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April
twenty six at Poeman Yards and it's hosted by none
other than Decisions, Decisions Man, D B and Wheezy. Okay,
we got the R and B Money podcast. We're taking
Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All Podcasts with
(00:21):
Sarah Jake Roberts. We got Good Mom, Bad Choices. Carrie
Champion will be there with her next sports podcast and
the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced. And
of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the Black
Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses plus the food truck
court to keep you fed while you visit us. All right, listen,
you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab
(00:41):
your tickets now at Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and
The Black Effects And just like that, we're back on
the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
With your girl.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just hilarious what I be doing. I'll be fixing mess, y'all,
and we're gonna jump straight in. Okay, okay, all right,
so let's see what we got here. We don't have
any voice memos. Feel free to send them. People, feel free.
I know y'all hate doing it, but Jesus Christ, just
feel free, please, because I'm so sick of trying to
(01:26):
read y'all. Goddamn, I got a calm down every time.
I'm so sick of trying to read y'all goddamn stories.
And y'all are not using proper literature, proper english, you
guys are not like It's like mixing slang with no
punctuation marks. So it just looked like a rap song.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
If I'm making.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Sense, it just don't sound anyway. Let me just get started.
Y'all know I'm a fuss at y'all, and so this
shit is over anyway.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
What's up? Just hope every thing as well for you.
Let me get into it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
So. I have a little sister. She's three years younger
than me, and she is basically my best friend. I
think she has been going through something and has been
holding out on me. We usually tell each other everything,
but lately she has been distant in a way. I
can't quite put my finger on it, but I know
it's something she's going through. Like we still talk every day.
(02:25):
I even check her social media to make sure everything
is cool and it looks fine, but something just seems off.
I wanted to pop up on her to surprise her,
but every time I try to get an idea of
her schedule, it's like she kind of gives me the
run around, like she doesn't want me to know what
she's doing, or just simply don't want to be bothered.
So it has me questioning did I do something wrong
(02:47):
or maybe she just really needs me? Or could I
be just overthinking everything and told you.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I'm trying to y'all. I want to read the story
like she's saying it. You know what I mean? But
she mind?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Or could I just be overthinking everything and she's just
maybe going through her own thing? Girl, I don't know,
but all I know is I don't like it, and
I just want to be there for her. But I
don't know how you have a little sister. Does this
ever happen to you? And if it does, how do
you handle it?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Like?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
What should I say, Okay, I struggle through the end there,
but you know it's all right. I beared with you,
and I'm hopefully, hopefully, I'm hoping that my listeners bear
it with me all right now. Yes, I have a
little sister, and yes, what they do is they grow
up and they start doing things on their own, they
(03:46):
start making decisions on their own. And listen, let me
tell you, I can't sympathize with you more, okay, because
my little sister, Nayah, she is my baby. No, we
are eleven years apart. You and your sister are three
years apart, and I don't know how old you are.
You didn't provide any of that context, but that's okay.
She's still your baby sister, and I can relate to
(04:06):
that now. When I first came to live with me,
she was seventeen or no, eighteen, something like that. Yes,
and eighteen or nineteen, I'm not sure either way.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It was.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It was years ago, a few years ago, right, and
we had was we were already we were getting getting close,
but we got so much closer when she moved in
and I started like she became my little baby. She
was always my baby sister. But we just created a
bond living with each other that we had never had before,
(04:41):
like prior to us living with each other, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
And I don't want to see her leave the nest.
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I was there when she got her license, you know,
I gave her our first car, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
And that's a being so she was, she was. She's
definitely a spoil little brat, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
But now, but my little sister has went through so
much in her life and then so coming to live
with me, we had the most deepest conversations, the most
deepest of conversations, right And we've traveled together for the
past three years, and we've done nothing but breathe each
(05:16):
other's air. And I'm talking about when I'm on my minstrel,
she's on hers, and she when she comes on hers,
like she bluetooths me.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
And then I get on my.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Cycle and you know, like it's nothing like having a
fucking sister, you know, and having a sister that you're
close to. And I was the little sister for a
long time because we have an older brother, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
But then when I actually.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Got to fall into that role of being a big sister,
once I grew up and I realized what life was about.
And I, you know, just learning on, you know, catching
on to things that you go through in life and
just learning life. And now I'm a mother of two
and you know, with the fiance, I'm about to get married,
and I have my own businesses ploral business, thank god,
(06:01):
because none of it will be possible without him.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I start teaching my.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Little sister the importance of what it's like to own
your home instead of renting, and just teaching her how
to grow up, you know, like you know, it's better
to you know, lease cars if you know you're going
to buy new ones every goddamn year, lease them, you know,
And how to save money, save a certain percentage of
(06:26):
every check that you get, you know, and you put
it in the savings and trust funds and life insurance
and health insurance, and.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know, how to you know, even with friends.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
So I've been trying to help her fix her mess,
and she got with me, you know, because that's what
I do. And to be honest, she helps me fix
mine too. That's what my little sister does for me,
you know. And I'm saying all of this to say
so I've learned her in and out and she's learned
me in and out. Now she knows when something's wrong
with me, just like I can sense when something is
(06:59):
wrong with her. She can walk in the room and
not have to say a word, and I will no
immediately there's something wrong now, because Nya is that's my
little sister. Because she is not the person who just
puts all of her business out on front street like
(07:20):
she she's more so like she won't come to you.
She won't come to me until she's tried to fix
the problem at hand, until she exhausts all options, because
she doesn't want to be a burden to me. She
doesn't want to feel like she always wants something or
needs something, So she has this thing. Well, she'll hold
on to whatever she's going through, and she will try
(07:40):
to make it seem like she ain't going through a
damn thing.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
And I know she's just like me. I cannot be phony.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good.
But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. One thing that people
have always said about jess before I became Justselearius is
Jessica Robin Moore growing up? Is you cannot be phony.
You can tell when something's going on with Jess. I
wear my emotions out on my face, on my sleeve,
(08:07):
outside of my body, my body language. When I cannot.
I cannot hide when I'm uncomfortable. I cannot hide when
I am upset. I cannot hide when I am angry,
and I cannot hide when I'm sad, and I damn
sure can't.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Hid when I'm about to blow up on my neck,
as y'all have seen you do in the past. But
I am reformed now. But I don't pry.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's good not to pry, you know, because sometimes you
can scare a person away from opening up to you
if you press too hard for them to share with
you what they're going through. Sometimes you just got to
let things simmer, and you gotta let them. You got
to let that build up and to the point to
the point where they can't take it anymore, you know,
and they can come to you and say, look, this
is what I'm dealing with. I don't know how it
(08:52):
got to this point. I don't know how to get
out of it. I just need some type of help,
you know. My sister, she has come to me on
many occasions like that. But what I always tell her is, listen,
you're not alone.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I understand you're so.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Used to dealing with everything on your own because, like
I said, she had to, she had to endure some
things growing up. And because of that, that is also
a result of not communicating right away when something's wrong
as a result of how she grew up.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
So I don't know if that's the same with your sister,
but I learned not to press so hard now.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
The other side to that is you sometimes you need
to pry.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Sometimes you need to dig it out of somebody because
they will sit there and they will fall into depression
or they will start having suicidal thoughts, depending on what
they're going through. Not saying this is your sister, not
saying this was ever my sister. I just know, depending
on the severity of you know, what they're enduring. You
just never know what they're thinking or what's going through
(09:58):
their mind, you know. And like, depression is real, and
it's hard to fall out of depression.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
After you've gotten in it.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
A lot of people don't even realize that they are depressed,
and by the time they do, they're so far into it.
It's just like a new normal for them, which is
very horrible. It's horrible and it's hard to deal with,
you know what I mean. And I have been depressed before.
Some people's willpower is stronger than others, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
I came about it, that thing, no help, need it,
you know. But well I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
A lot of talking to God, a lot of praying.
I just meant, no professional help like therapy and things
like that. But that's also a key ingredient to killing
depression too, therapy, counseling, talking, venting, you know. So I
think you should just make her feel comfortable, you know
(10:54):
what I mean, Just make because you don't want to
scare her away.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
You don't want her to feel like.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Damned like because she may not even know how to
muster her up the words to tell.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
You what's going on.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You know, it may be something so bad that she
don't even know how to talk about it. You just
never know, So you have to be very careful with people.
You feel me, You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Just be careful and don't push her away.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
However, you still need to talk to her, sit down
with her and talk with her and just meet her
on a level of.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Meet her where she is, and I know you can say,
well where if I get she I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I'm trying to figure it out, you know what I'm saying, like,
make her feel safe enough, provide that safe environment for her,
for her.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
To open up to you.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
You know, you may feel like the way you know,
You may feel like you want to know right now,
right then and there, but she ain't ready to talk
about it. You know, she may tell you in pieces,
you know, but I know from my experience with me
being a.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Big sister, having a little sister who goes through things.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You know, I let her come to me sometimes, but
when I feel like it's weighing on her and everybody
else can see it, then I'll sit her down and
I'll say, you know, hey, you may not want to
tell me what's going on right now. You may not
even want to tell me what's going on later, but
I want you to know you are not alone. You
are okay. I will not judge you for whatever you
(12:11):
go through. I got you, I'm your big sister. We're closed.
You know, we have a bond that cannot be tainted,
It cannot be corrupted, It listen, you, my baby, whatever
you go through, I go through. And because I don't know,
I can't help you. If there's anything you need, just
let me know, even if you don't want to tell
me right now. Just think about it and just always
(12:33):
know that I am here. You know, you just have
to provide those spaces for her. A lot of people
get upset at people for not just spewing everything right away,
you know, being an open book. It's not easy for everybody.
It's not easy, you know. And I used to be
that way.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I used to be the open book.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I used to be the person that that was like, okay, look,
I'm letting her I know everything.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like my mother could come in the room and give
me a hug. You know how you.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
About to cry and somebody to give you a hun
You just like cry uncontrollably.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
You just bust out and burst out in them damn tears.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I was always an open book, you know, with whether
it be with like a boyfriend or friends, whatever, everybody
would always know what the fuck I'm going through because
I've never been a person to leave shit in and
just let it get bottled up until I snap. Now
I have snapped, but not because I've kept something in
for so long just because that was that used to
be my personality in the way that I dealt with things,
(13:32):
which was not healthy as well. But as I've gotten older,
I learned that you can't just unload everything all the
time because.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Then people use things against you or you know.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
And I used to be scared of vulnerability, being too
vulnerable with a person, you know, because so that could
also be her issue. You know, she wants to be strong,
and a lot of people just they don't want to
come off as week. That was my problem as well,
like I don't want to come off as week, So
let me just stop telling all of my business, you know,
(14:09):
amongst other reasons. I stopped letting people know everything why
I was upset about everything. And you know, but people
do get angry when you don't just unload. You know,
you have to take your time. It's baby steps with her,
Like I said, it could be something very very serious
that she doesn't know how to tell you or anybody.
(14:31):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Also, just some questions for you. She in a relationship
is she?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Because I don't know, y'all, ages like, is she in
high school? Is she in college? Do you feel like
she's stressed out about the influences around her. I know
a lot of depression has come from social media. These
younger folks are looking and lusting over other people's lives,
and they're feeling like they're not doing enough because everybody
(15:02):
online look like they got it going on, and they're rich,
and they don't work jobs, and you don't have to.
You if you work a job that's corny and that's no, no,
you'll be broke forever.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You shouldn't have a job. You should start your own business.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I know, it's a lot of things that goes into
why a lot of people are walking around not.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Happy these days. You understand it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
And then given the economy, given our president, honey, given
the the state that America is in right now, that's
just the word on its own.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
You just never know what somebody is going through.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Do you know if she has a boyfriend that's you know,
that could be verbally or mentally making her feel away
or just whatever. I don't want to say physical, because
we don't know, but shit, maybe maybe not.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
We don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Does she have a girlfriend, is she struggling to come
out to you. You Have you seen anything other than
what you have been seeing? Have you seen any other
behavioral changes, you know, any different any changes in her routine?
Do you guys live together? Are you close enough with
her to know that she's moving differently more than what
(16:10):
you just see right now? You know you said you
went on our social media to check, like, does she
have other friends that you can reach out to and
talk to? Does she is she closer with another sibling
of you guys, you know, because I don't know if
you too are the only children, because again you didn't
let me know. Do you guys have another sister that
she may be closer with that she opened up to you?
Just want to make sure everything is okay? Are you
(16:33):
Is she closer? Is she close with your parents?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
You know?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It? Just there are certainly other ways to get to
the bottom of it without being so I forget the
word I'm looking for, intrusive, like don't don't intrude on her,
don't make her feel bombarded, you know, don't be so
don't over don't be overbearren that that's one of the
words I was looking for, you know, because everybody handles
(17:01):
what they're going through differently.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Everybody handles things differently, and yeah, so that's that.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Like I said, just the only thing you can do
is just follow my initial advice, you know, sit down
with her and provide that safe space, let her know
you are there, and then you can be even a
little take it a step further and just be more
transparent with her.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You can say, listen, I notice.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Just tell her what you notice, you know, don't even
ask her, hey, what's wrong?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Open up to me, let me know.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
No, just tell her what you notice and tell her
that you've seen her happier. You've seen happier days with her,
and it just seems like it's not it's not the same,
so something had to change. You don't have to tell
me right now. But I noticed that you may not
be okay.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You may not.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Don't just tell her I notice you're not okay. I mean,
because you know that could be a little pushy as well.
I'm just trying to teach you how to treat the
situation fragile, you know what I mean, because like I said,
we don't know what she's going through, and you, as
big sister, you feel helpless, don't you You feel like, damn,
I don't I don't know how to help you.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I felt so bad and guilty and beating up on
myself because there are times that I couldn't figure out
what was wrong with Naya, you know. But she eventually
comes and she tells me and she shares what she
goes through, you know, and we just have to give
everybody grace in time to come to us.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
You know. Hopefully she is praying, Hopefully.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
She's not having any suicidal thoughts, because that's when you
step the fuck in, like, don't care whatever. That's why
I said it's it could be tricky. You don't want
to push too hard, but then you don't want us
to fall back too far either, because if anything happens,
then you feel like shit. I knew something was fucking
wrong and I didn't do everything I could, you know,
(18:57):
So just sat down with her immediately and let her
know you are there. You do notice some things, and
you want her to be better. You want for her
to get better. You want nothing more than that. Because
you tell her how much you love her, poor to her,
you know, that might make her cry, That might make
you cry. Seeing you cry, may even make her feel
(19:20):
like oh you do see me. Okay, look, I might
as well just let it out and tell you right now,
okay what you know what I mean? But just provide
me a little bit more context. I mean, you know,
a little bit more context with the questions.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
That I asked you. You know what I mean. Give
me some more meat on the bone, y'all? All right,
keep me updated, baby girl.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
And if nobody has told you I love you and
your little sister and you need to call her and
tell her you love her right now, right now. But
don't call her and have that conversation. You need to
sit down with her and have that conversation. I don't
know if she lives with you, I don't know, but
sit down. That's a face to face conversation. I just
want to tell you that before I get out of here.
Face to face. A lot of times text messages can
(20:01):
get misconstrued and misinterpreted. You may sound insensitive, you may
you know, man, Texting is not the greatest form of
communication when dealing with something so serious. A phone call
is not the best form of communication. When dealing with
something so serious, a face to face conversation make time
for that. I understand. People may be busy people may
(20:23):
have jobs. Your little sister maybe in school. Whatever y'all
got to do with y'all live is make time to
talk to her face to face. Okay, okay, And before
I get out of here, I want to say to
all my listeners as well, check on your people. Check
on your fucking people. Right, it's a lot more depression
(20:46):
these days. The depression rate and the mental illness rate
is so it's so high, it's higher than it's ever been.
You know, a lot of people going through shit with
their jobs, and these federal workers losing their jobs, and
you know, Elon Musk running the fucking country because the
damn show ain't Trump.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
No mo uh.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
You know, it's just a lot of things that we've
been having to endure. I just want to send prayers
up for everybody. I'm talking about the LGBT community, you know,
the trans community. You know, yes, we've had our back
and forth and everything like that, but it's a lot
of things that's happening for y'all as well that y'all
have to endure on top of already enduring everything else
(21:24):
that life throws at you. So my prayers up for
you guys as well. Then, you know, just check on
your family members too. You know, a lot of older
folks are having these these issues with fucking insurances, you know,
and not being able to get their prescriptions and shit.
You know, so a lot of shit like that pisces
me off. I have one grandmother left, God Rest early
(21:44):
and soul, but I got Helen left.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
That's the last grandmama I got.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
And you know, just hearing the horror stories that people
call up to the job, call up to the radio,
y'all all my breakfast club.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
They call up to the radio and they complain all
the time.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
You know, people's daughters and people's kids and grandkids and
you know, caretakers and stuff. They're just like, yo, I
wasn't able to go get my grandmother's prescription because her
insurance has been cut off or she's not getting a
call back, and you know, shit, it's just it's super
effed up right now, right So just check on people,
you know, check on our men, because how can our
(22:18):
men stay strong if they're going through shit as well?
Everybody is at a time right now we're in our
last and evil days, okay, so we all.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Just need to love on each other.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
And I know, that's very hard for Americans, African Americans
and any and all fucking Americans. We are very very
very hard to love, and we're hard we're hard up
to give it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I mean that. I mean that in the most absolutely
profound way.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
We are the most greediest, stingiest, most fucked up country, right,
the most toxic country, the most corrupt fucking country, and
our people are paying for shit.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
That we didn't even do.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
You know, we ain't even got nothing to do it
with the fuck Trump and Elon got going on, and
we're having to pay for this shit, Like I really want,
does the Constitution matter anymore? Like is there even a constitution?
Because I swear to God, it just seems like this
nigga got elected, reelected right, came in and just was like, man,
fuck all this shit. I'm just going to say. And
then it makes you wonder like can a president really
(23:24):
do that? Can one man really really do that? Could
could this have been something that's been done the whole time?
Like just fuck everything? You know, I mean, because I know,
when you're the president of the United States, you're very powerful.
Yeah you can, you know, you could do almost anything.
But at the same time, there aren't any rules even
for him. You know, how are you a leader and
(23:46):
you don't even.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Child?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I can get started on that, but I will not.
I love you all and tune in next week.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Peace Class.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Taking cat.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Name a.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Name Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and
(25:10):
The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.
Speaks to the Plannet. I go by the name of
Charlamagne the God, and guess what, I can't wait to
see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.
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(00:21):
Sarah Jake Roberts. We got Good Mom, Bad Choices. Carrie
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your tickets now at Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and
The Black Effects And just like that, we're back on
the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
With your girl.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just hilarious what I be doing. I'll be fixing mess, y'all,
and we're gonna jump straight in. Okay, okay, all right,
so let's see what we got here. We don't have
any voice memos. Feel free to send them. People, feel free.
I know y'all hate doing it, but Jesus Christ, just
feel free, please, because I'm so sick of trying to
(01:26):
read y'all. Goddamn, I got a calm down every time.
I'm so sick of trying to read y'all goddamn stories.
And y'all are not using proper literature, proper english, you
guys are not like It's like mixing slang with no
punctuation marks. So it just looked like a rap song.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
If I'm making.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Sense, it just don't sound anyway. Let me just get started.
Y'all know I'm a fuss at y'all, and so this
shit is over anyway.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
What's up? Just hope every thing as well for you.
Let me get into it.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
So. I have a little sister. She's three years younger
than me, and she is basically my best friend. I
think she has been going through something and has been
holding out on me. We usually tell each other everything,
but lately she has been distant in a way. I
can't quite put my finger on it, but I know
it's something she's going through. Like we still talk every day.
(02:25):
I even check her social media to make sure everything
is cool and it looks fine, but something just seems off.
I wanted to pop up on her to surprise her,
but every time I try to get an idea of
her schedule, it's like she kind of gives me the
run around, like she doesn't want me to know what
she's doing, or just simply don't want to be bothered.
So it has me questioning did I do something wrong
(02:47):
or maybe she just really needs me? Or could I
be just overthinking everything and told you.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I'm trying to y'all. I want to read the story
like she's saying it. You know what I mean? But
she mind?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Or could I just be overthinking everything and she's just
maybe going through her own thing? Girl, I don't know,
but all I know is I don't like it, and
I just want to be there for her. But I
don't know how you have a little sister. Does this
ever happen to you? And if it does, how do
you handle it?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Like?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
What should I say, Okay, I struggle through the end there,
but you know it's all right. I beared with you,
and I'm hopefully, hopefully, I'm hoping that my listeners bear
it with me all right now. Yes, I have a
little sister, and yes, what they do is they grow
up and they start doing things on their own, they
(03:46):
start making decisions on their own. And listen, let me
tell you, I can't sympathize with you more, okay, because
my little sister, Nayah, she is my baby. No, we
are eleven years apart. You and your sister are three
years apart, and I don't know how old you are.
You didn't provide any of that context, but that's okay.
She's still your baby sister, and I can relate to
(04:06):
that now. When I first came to live with me,
she was seventeen or no, eighteen, something like that. Yes,
and eighteen or nineteen, I'm not sure either way.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It was.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It was years ago, a few years ago, right, and
we had was we were already we were getting getting close,
but we got so much closer when she moved in
and I started like she became my little baby. She
was always my baby sister. But we just created a
bond living with each other that we had never had before,
(04:41):
like prior to us living with each other, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
And I don't want to see her leave the nest.
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I was there when she got her license, you know,
I gave her our first car, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
And that's a being so she was, she was. She's
definitely a spoil little brat, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
But now, but my little sister has went through so
much in her life and then so coming to live
with me, we had the most deepest conversations, the most
deepest of conversations, right And we've traveled together for the
past three years, and we've done nothing but breathe each
(05:16):
other's air. And I'm talking about when I'm on my minstrel,
she's on hers, and she when she comes on hers,
like she bluetooths me.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
And then I get on my.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Cycle and you know, like it's nothing like having a
fucking sister, you know, and having a sister that you're
close to. And I was the little sister for a
long time because we have an older brother, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
But then when I actually.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Got to fall into that role of being a big sister,
once I grew up and I realized what life was about.
And I, you know, just learning on, you know, catching
on to things that you go through in life and
just learning life. And now I'm a mother of two
and you know, with the fiance, I'm about to get married,
and I have my own businesses ploral business, thank god,
(06:01):
because none of it will be possible without him.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
I start teaching my.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Little sister the importance of what it's like to own
your home instead of renting, and just teaching her how
to grow up, you know, like you know, it's better
to you know, lease cars if you know you're going
to buy new ones every goddamn year, lease them, you know,
And how to save money, save a certain percentage of
(06:26):
every check that you get, you know, and you put
it in the savings and trust funds and life insurance
and health insurance, and.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know, how to you know, even with friends.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
So I've been trying to help her fix her mess,
and she got with me, you know, because that's what
I do. And to be honest, she helps me fix
mine too. That's what my little sister does for me,
you know. And I'm saying all of this to say
so I've learned her in and out and she's learned
me in and out. Now she knows when something's wrong
with me, just like I can sense when something is
(06:59):
wrong with her. She can walk in the room and
not have to say a word, and I will no
immediately there's something wrong now, because Nya is that's my
little sister. Because she is not the person who just
puts all of her business out on front street like
(07:20):
she she's more so like she won't come to you.
She won't come to me until she's tried to fix
the problem at hand, until she exhausts all options, because
she doesn't want to be a burden to me. She
doesn't want to feel like she always wants something or
needs something, So she has this thing. Well, she'll hold
on to whatever she's going through, and she will try
(07:40):
to make it seem like she ain't going through a
damn thing.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
And I know she's just like me. I cannot be phony.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good.
But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. One thing that people
have always said about jess before I became Justselearius is
Jessica Robin Moore growing up? Is you cannot be phony.
You can tell when something's going on with Jess. I
wear my emotions out on my face, on my sleeve,
(08:07):
outside of my body, my body language. When I cannot.
I cannot hide when I'm uncomfortable. I cannot hide when
I am upset. I cannot hide when I am angry,
and I cannot hide when I'm sad, and I damn
sure can't.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Hid when I'm about to blow up on my neck,
as y'all have seen you do in the past. But
I am reformed now. But I don't pry.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's good not to pry, you know, because sometimes you
can scare a person away from opening up to you
if you press too hard for them to share with
you what they're going through. Sometimes you just got to
let things simmer, and you gotta let them. You got
to let that build up and to the point to
the point where they can't take it anymore, you know,
and they can come to you and say, look, this
is what I'm dealing with. I don't know how it
(08:52):
got to this point. I don't know how to get
out of it. I just need some type of help,
you know. My sister, she has come to me on
many occasions like that. But what I always tell her is, listen,
you're not alone.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
I understand you're so.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Used to dealing with everything on your own because, like
I said, she had to, she had to endure some
things growing up. And because of that, that is also
a result of not communicating right away when something's wrong
as a result of how she grew up.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
So I don't know if that's the same with your sister,
but I learned not to press so hard now.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
The other side to that is you sometimes you need
to pry.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Sometimes you need to dig it out of somebody because
they will sit there and they will fall into depression
or they will start having suicidal thoughts, depending on what
they're going through. Not saying this is your sister, not
saying this was ever my sister. I just know, depending
on the severity of you know, what they're enduring. You
just never know what they're thinking or what's going through
(09:58):
their mind, you know. And like, depression is real, and
it's hard to fall out of depression.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
After you've gotten in it.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
A lot of people don't even realize that they are depressed,
and by the time they do, they're so far into it.
It's just like a new normal for them, which is
very horrible. It's horrible and it's hard to deal with,
you know what I mean. And I have been depressed before.
Some people's willpower is stronger than others, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
I came about it, that thing, no help, need it,
you know. But well I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
A lot of talking to God, a lot of praying.
I just meant, no professional help like therapy and things
like that. But that's also a key ingredient to killing
depression too, therapy, counseling, talking, venting, you know. So I
think you should just make her feel comfortable, you know
(10:54):
what I mean, Just make because you don't want to
scare her away.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
You don't want her to feel like.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Damned like because she may not even know how to
muster her up the words to tell.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
You what's going on.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You know, it may be something so bad that she
don't even know how to talk about it. You just
never know, So you have to be very careful with people.
You feel me, You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Just be careful and don't push her away.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
However, you still need to talk to her, sit down
with her and talk with her and just meet her
on a level of.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Meet her where she is, and I know you can say,
well where if I get she I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I'm trying to figure it out, you know what I'm saying, like,
make her feel safe enough, provide that safe environment for her,
for her.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
To open up to you.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
You know, you may feel like the way you know,
You may feel like you want to know right now,
right then and there, but she ain't ready to talk
about it. You know, she may tell you in pieces,
you know, but I know from my experience with me
being a.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Big sister, having a little sister who goes through things.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You know, I let her come to me sometimes, but
when I feel like it's weighing on her and everybody
else can see it, then I'll sit her down and
I'll say, you know, hey, you may not want to
tell me what's going on right now. You may not
even want to tell me what's going on later, but
I want you to know you are not alone. You
are okay. I will not judge you for whatever you
(12:11):
go through. I got you, I'm your big sister. We're closed.
You know, we have a bond that cannot be tainted,
It cannot be corrupted, It listen, you, my baby, whatever
you go through, I go through. And because I don't know,
I can't help you. If there's anything you need, just
let me know, even if you don't want to tell
me right now. Just think about it and just always
(12:33):
know that I am here. You know, you just have
to provide those spaces for her. A lot of people
get upset at people for not just spewing everything right away,
you know, being an open book. It's not easy for everybody.
It's not easy, you know. And I used to be
that way.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
I used to be the open book.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I used to be the person that that was like, okay, look,
I'm letting her I know everything.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Like my mother could come in the room and give
me a hug. You know how you.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
About to cry and somebody to give you a hun
You just like cry uncontrollably.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
You just bust out and burst out in them damn tears.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I was always an open book, you know, with whether
it be with like a boyfriend or friends, whatever, everybody
would always know what the fuck I'm going through because
I've never been a person to leave shit in and
just let it get bottled up until I snap. Now
I have snapped, but not because I've kept something in
for so long just because that was that used to
be my personality in the way that I dealt with things,
(13:32):
which was not healthy as well. But as I've gotten older,
I learned that you can't just unload everything all the
time because.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Then people use things against you or you know.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
And I used to be scared of vulnerability, being too
vulnerable with a person, you know, because so that could
also be her issue. You know, she wants to be strong,
and a lot of people just they don't want to
come off as week. That was my problem as well,
like I don't want to come off as week, So
let me just stop telling all of my business, you know,
(14:09):
amongst other reasons. I stopped letting people know everything why
I was upset about everything. And you know, but people
do get angry when you don't just unload. You know,
you have to take your time. It's baby steps with her,
Like I said, it could be something very very serious
that she doesn't know how to tell you or anybody.
(14:31):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Also, just some questions for you. She in a relationship
is she?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Because I don't know, y'all, ages like, is she in
high school? Is she in college? Do you feel like
she's stressed out about the influences around her. I know
a lot of depression has come from social media. These
younger folks are looking and lusting over other people's lives,
and they're feeling like they're not doing enough because everybody
(15:02):
online look like they got it going on, and they're rich,
and they don't work jobs, and you don't have to.
You if you work a job that's corny and that's no, no,
you'll be broke forever.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You shouldn't have a job. You should start your own business.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I know, it's a lot of things that goes into
why a lot of people are walking around not.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Happy these days. You understand it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
And then given the economy, given our president, honey, given
the the state that America is in right now, that's
just the word on its own.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
You just never know what somebody is going through.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Do you know if she has a boyfriend that's you know,
that could be verbally or mentally making her feel away
or just whatever. I don't want to say physical, because
we don't know, but shit, maybe maybe not.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
We don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Does she have a girlfriend, is she struggling to come
out to you. You Have you seen anything other than
what you have been seeing? Have you seen any other
behavioral changes, you know, any different any changes in her routine?
Do you guys live together? Are you close enough with
her to know that she's moving differently more than what
(16:10):
you just see right now? You know you said you
went on our social media to check, like, does she
have other friends that you can reach out to and
talk to? Does she is she closer with another sibling
of you guys, you know, because I don't know if
you too are the only children, because again you didn't
let me know. Do you guys have another sister that
she may be closer with that she opened up to you?
Just want to make sure everything is okay? Are you
(16:33):
Is she closer? Is she close with your parents?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
You know?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It? Just there are certainly other ways to get to
the bottom of it without being so I forget the
word I'm looking for, intrusive, like don't don't intrude on her,
don't make her feel bombarded, you know, don't be so
don't over don't be overbearren that that's one of the
words I was looking for, you know, because everybody handles
(17:01):
what they're going through differently.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Everybody handles things differently, and yeah, so that's that.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Like I said, just the only thing you can do
is just follow my initial advice, you know, sit down
with her and provide that safe space, let her know
you are there, and then you can be even a
little take it a step further and just be more
transparent with her.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You can say, listen, I notice.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Just tell her what you notice, you know, don't even
ask her, hey, what's wrong?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Open up to me, let me know.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
No, just tell her what you notice and tell her
that you've seen her happier. You've seen happier days with her,
and it just seems like it's not it's not the same,
so something had to change. You don't have to tell
me right now. But I noticed that you may not
be okay.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You may not.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Don't just tell her I notice you're not okay. I mean,
because you know that could be a little pushy as well.
I'm just trying to teach you how to treat the
situation fragile, you know what I mean, because like I said,
we don't know what she's going through, and you, as
big sister, you feel helpless, don't you You feel like, damn,
I don't I don't know how to help you.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I felt so bad and guilty and beating up on
myself because there are times that I couldn't figure out
what was wrong with Naya, you know. But she eventually
comes and she tells me and she shares what she
goes through, you know, and we just have to give
everybody grace in time to come to us.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
You know. Hopefully she is praying, Hopefully.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
She's not having any suicidal thoughts, because that's when you
step the fuck in, like, don't care whatever. That's why
I said it's it could be tricky. You don't want
to push too hard, but then you don't want us
to fall back too far either, because if anything happens,
then you feel like shit. I knew something was fucking
wrong and I didn't do everything I could, you know,
(18:57):
So just sat down with her immediately and let her
know you are there. You do notice some things, and
you want her to be better. You want for her
to get better. You want nothing more than that. Because
you tell her how much you love her, poor to her,
you know, that might make her cry, That might make
you cry. Seeing you cry, may even make her feel
(19:20):
like oh you do see me. Okay, look, I might
as well just let it out and tell you right now,
okay what you know what I mean? But just provide
me a little bit more context. I mean, you know,
a little bit more context with the questions.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
That I asked you. You know what I mean. Give
me some more meat on the bone, y'all? All right,
keep me updated, baby girl.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
And if nobody has told you I love you and
your little sister and you need to call her and
tell her you love her right now, right now. But
don't call her and have that conversation. You need to
sit down with her and have that conversation. I don't
know if she lives with you, I don't know, but
sit down. That's a face to face conversation. I just
want to tell you that before I get out of here.
Face to face. A lot of times text messages can
(20:01):
get misconstrued and misinterpreted. You may sound insensitive, you may
you know, man, Texting is not the greatest form of
communication when dealing with something so serious. A phone call
is not the best form of communication. When dealing with
something so serious, a face to face conversation make time
for that. I understand. People may be busy people may
(20:23):
have jobs. Your little sister maybe in school. Whatever y'all
got to do with y'all live is make time to
talk to her face to face. Okay, okay, And before
I get out of here, I want to say to
all my listeners as well, check on your people. Check
on your fucking people. Right, it's a lot more depression
(20:46):
these days. The depression rate and the mental illness rate
is so it's so high, it's higher than it's ever been.
You know, a lot of people going through shit with
their jobs, and these federal workers losing their jobs, and
you know, Elon Musk running the fucking country because the
damn show ain't Trump.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
No mo uh.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
You know, it's just a lot of things that we've
been having to endure. I just want to send prayers
up for everybody. I'm talking about the LGBT community, you know,
the trans community. You know, yes, we've had our back
and forth and everything like that, but it's a lot
of things that's happening for y'all as well that y'all
have to endure on top of already enduring everything else
(21:24):
that life throws at you. So my prayers up for
you guys as well. Then, you know, just check on
your family members too. You know, a lot of older
folks are having these these issues with fucking insurances, you know,
and not being able to get their prescriptions and shit.
You know, so a lot of shit like that pisces
me off. I have one grandmother left, God Rest early
(21:44):
and soul, but I got Helen left.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
That's the last grandmama I got.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
And you know, just hearing the horror stories that people
call up to the job, call up to the radio,
y'all all my breakfast club.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
They call up to the radio and they complain all
the time.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
You know, people's daughters and people's kids and grandkids and
you know, caretakers and stuff. They're just like, yo, I
wasn't able to go get my grandmother's prescription because her
insurance has been cut off or she's not getting a
call back, and you know, shit, it's just it's super
effed up right now, right So just check on people,
you know, check on our men, because how can our
(22:18):
men stay strong if they're going through shit as well?
Everybody is at a time right now we're in our
last and evil days, okay, so we all.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Just need to love on each other.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
And I know, that's very hard for Americans, African Americans
and any and all fucking Americans. We are very very
very hard to love, and we're hard we're hard up
to give it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I mean that. I mean that in the most absolutely
profound way.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
We are the most greediest, stingiest, most fucked up country, right,
the most toxic country, the most corrupt fucking country, and
our people are paying for shit.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
That we didn't even do.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
You know, we ain't even got nothing to do it
with the fuck Trump and Elon got going on, and
we're having to pay for this shit, Like I really want,
does the Constitution matter anymore? Like is there even a constitution?
Because I swear to God, it just seems like this
nigga got elected, reelected right, came in and just was like, man,
fuck all this shit. I'm just going to say. And
then it makes you wonder like can a president really
(23:24):
do that? Can one man really really do that? Could
could this have been something that's been done the whole time?
Like just fuck everything? You know, I mean, because I know,
when you're the president of the United States, you're very powerful.
Yeah you can, you know, you could do almost anything.
But at the same time, there aren't any rules even
for him. You know, how are you a leader and
(23:46):
you don't even.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Child?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I can get started on that, but I will not.
I love you all and tune in next week.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Peace Class.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Taking cat.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Name a.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Name Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and
(25:10):
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Host
Jess Hilarious
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Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!