February 12, 2025 • 9 mins
Welcome to this season’s final bonus episode of Dear Chiquis. This week, Lex asks for tips on how to get over her anxiety and talk herself into doing things that scare her; Ari wants to know how I used to spend my time when I was in my 20’s; and Melissa asks me how I separate my professional life from my personal life.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hey Cheeky's.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
So, I need some advice on how to stop talking
myself out of doing things, because I could talk myself
out of doing almost anything I don't want to do,
and that stops me from creating opportunities for myself. And
I understand that now, but I just don't know how
to get over that anxiety or that nervousness that you
(01:12):
get when you know you want to speak up or
you want to talk to someone, just because like, I
just don't know where to start, and I figured i'd
ask you, so any advice will be hopeful. Thank you, I.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So, lex I first of all want you to know
that you feeling nervous or any type of like butterflies
or all that is is fine. I think I like
feeling those feelings because I like to feel. I like
to feel things, and it makes me when I feel
those butterflies or I feel nervous to even still go
on stage. I feel like, Oh, it's because I'm passionate,
(01:48):
because I care. So just know that it's because of that.
And I think maybe what stops you is you think
of what is the other person going to think of me?
Or am I capable to do this one thing? Those
are all human ex experiences. That is all normal. We
all go through it. But it is absolutely normal. So
just know that. And I think the first step is
literally just doing it. The more you do it, the
(02:11):
better you'll feel. Of course, the first I want to say,
the first year two years of my career as a singer,
every time I got on stage, I was like, Okay,
I don't want to do this, I'm not going to
get on and I would just like, okay, fine, I'm
going to do it. Fit even if people don't like
the way I sound. I have to tune those people
out and just do it. And the more I did it,
(02:32):
and the more I did it, the better I felt
and I got better at it. And it's just literally
taking that leap of faith and doing it, facing fear
in the face and saying I'm going to do this.
I'm going to conquer this. And the more you do it,
and the first time that you do it, whatever it
may be, either like you said, talking to someone, approaching someone,
or saying hello to a stranger, or starting a new job,
(02:53):
whatever it may be, it's just literally just telling yourself
I could do this. I'm going to take this leep
of I'm going to look at fear in the eyes
because it's not going to conquer I can do this.
It will not defeat me. So I know it sounds
maybe a little silly, but the more you practice it,
the better it'll get. And just take deep breaths three
(03:14):
DP breaths. It really relaxes you and you just do it.
And again, the more you do it, the better it
will be. Practice makes perfect. That is my advice and
I hope it helps and I hope that made sense.
But yeah, Alex, thank you for your question. I appreciate
you Okay, So our next question comes from Ari.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I Cheekyes, So my question for you is, when you
were my age, which is twenty two, what did you
do for fun? Like I did the math and you
were twenty two and like two thousand and seven and eight,
So like, what did you do for fun? What where
(04:00):
did you go? Like what music did you listen to?
Like what was like a day in your life? I'm
asking because I'm just so obsessed with the early two thousands.
It just seemed like such a fun time to be
twenty two. That's my question. Like, I hope you have
a good day though, and stay blessed. Ari.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You are a vibe. You are a vibe. I love
your question. You guys. See, this is what dear Chee
is all about. Like, I get so many different questions.
I love this, not Ari putting my age on blast.
But it's all good. We love you, just kidding. I'm
I feel very comfortable with my age now. But okay, Ari,
twenty two, Okay, it's been a little bit, a little
bit okay, So yes, twenty two thousand and six, two
(04:47):
thousand and seven, amazing, it was I feel like very different. Obviously,
my mom was here, so many like amazing things. I
listened to like so much. R and B so much.
No doubt, No, No doubt was on my playlist. Destiny's
Child was on my playlist. Oh my gosh, justin Timberlake
(05:10):
probably was in sync at that time. But music, I
feel like, Oh my gosh. Yes, the thousands were amazing.
Whe early two thousands, guys. So what I was doing
for fun during that time was I was very involved
with my siblings, very involved with taking care of them
and taking care of my mother's businesses. I was doing
(05:32):
Esthetician school as well. During that time, I would go
to boxing. That's when I fell in love with boxing.
Like it was ugh, it was, it was awesome. I
just felt like I could let out a lot of
tension and I would take Johnny and my little brother
with me to go boxing. We lived in Corona during
that time, so it was just it was cute. I
(05:54):
had a little buggy. It was convertible. It was convertible.
Oh my god, Oh she just made me reminisce. I
love it down. I was twenty two, geez, Yeah, what
else was I doing? I think that's also when I
kind of started tapping into my spirituality as well. In
two thousand and six, two thousand and seven, where I
(06:16):
was like, Okay, I kind of like, you know, like
this like yoga stuff and what is this? You know,
it's very new, and I was kind of shy because
it was like I was like, Okay, I don't know
if it's a cool thing because it wasn't cool yet.
So that's kind of like when I started like looking
into like spirituality and things like that and stepping out
of like my religion a little bit. And yeah, I
(06:37):
just grew from there. But yeah, I mean that's all
I can really think about right now, to be honest.
But that's a really good question, Mari. I appreciate that.
That's really really cute. Live your life, girl. You can
live in the two thousand, early thousands if you want.
It's all in your mind, it's all in your heart.
You do it.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I love that for you.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Okay, guys, last question comes from Melissa Hi.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
They are beautiful. I'm not even sure how to work
this question, but from Northeast Ohio. I guess my question
is how do you separate your professional life from your
personal life? Because I imagine with as busy as you are
an entrepreneur, singer, and all the things that you do.
But I just wonder, how do you separate it so
that you can still remain simply Jnay.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Melissa, I like it, okay, Well, it's an everyday thing. Okay.
Some days it's easier, some days it's harder. I do
my best to at least have one day off during
the week, like one at least where I could just
do whatever it is that I want. Sometimes I just
choose to lay in bed. Sometimes I choose to just
(07:50):
hang out with my husband and go down to Santa
Monica and do all the things, visit his family, the
things that make me happy, or hang out with my siblings.
It is so important and essential for me to have
one day of rest, to be connected to my home.
That's one thing that kind of like helps me a lot.
I think it's more than anything being intentional, intentional in
making that space and making the time to obviously make
(08:13):
time for my career, because my career is my livelihood.
It's what like pays the bills, but also Janee, my heart,
my spirituality, all of that plays a huge part in it,
because if Jane's not okay, then I can't tend to
Cheeky's you know, so definitely, it's really being intentional. I
do a lot I do, and I think that in
(08:35):
some ways I have spread myself too thin. But now
I know that, and now I'm going to pick and
choose and be better with that because I still love
doing everything that I do. I just really have to
get my priorities straight and yeah, and make more time
for my personal life the things that make me happy.
You know, I'm still working at it. I'm still working
at it. So it's something I think because life changes
(08:59):
so much, going to change and I'm going to change,
so so yeah, Okay, guys, that's the end of this episode.
Thank you guys so much for listening to Dear Cheeky's
and if you have a question, please leave your question
at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. I'll
see you guys later. This is a production of iHeartRadio
(09:31):
and the Microdura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at
Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h
I q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite podcast and check us out on YouTube,
Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hey Cheeky's.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
So, I need some advice on how to stop talking
myself out of doing things, because I could talk myself
out of doing almost anything I don't want to do,
and that stops me from creating opportunities for myself. And
I understand that now, but I just don't know how
to get over that anxiety or that nervousness that you
(01:12):
get when you know you want to speak up or
you want to talk to someone, just because like, I
just don't know where to start, and I figured i'd
ask you, so any advice will be hopeful. Thank you, I.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
So, lex I first of all want you to know
that you feeling nervous or any type of like butterflies
or all that is is fine. I think I like
feeling those feelings because I like to feel. I like
to feel things, and it makes me when I feel
those butterflies or I feel nervous to even still go
on stage. I feel like, Oh, it's because I'm passionate,
(01:48):
because I care. So just know that it's because of that.
And I think maybe what stops you is you think
of what is the other person going to think of me?
Or am I capable to do this one thing? Those
are all human ex experiences. That is all normal. We
all go through it. But it is absolutely normal. So
just know that. And I think the first step is
literally just doing it. The more you do it, the
(02:11):
better you'll feel. Of course, the first I want to say,
the first year two years of my career as a singer,
every time I got on stage, I was like, Okay,
I don't want to do this, I'm not going to
get on and I would just like, okay, fine, I'm
going to do it. Fit even if people don't like
the way I sound. I have to tune those people
out and just do it. And the more I did it,
(02:32):
and the more I did it, the better I felt
and I got better at it. And it's just literally
taking that leap of faith and doing it, facing fear
in the face and saying I'm going to do this.
I'm going to conquer this. And the more you do it,
and the first time that you do it, whatever it
may be, either like you said, talking to someone, approaching someone,
or saying hello to a stranger, or starting a new job,
(02:53):
whatever it may be, it's just literally just telling yourself
I could do this. I'm going to take this leep
of I'm going to look at fear in the eyes
because it's not going to conquer I can do this.
It will not defeat me. So I know it sounds
maybe a little silly, but the more you practice it,
the better it'll get. And just take deep breaths three
(03:14):
DP breaths. It really relaxes you and you just do it.
And again, the more you do it, the better it
will be. Practice makes perfect. That is my advice and
I hope it helps and I hope that made sense.
But yeah, Alex, thank you for your question. I appreciate
you Okay, So our next question comes from Ari.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I Cheekyes, So my question for you is, when you
were my age, which is twenty two, what did you
do for fun? Like I did the math and you
were twenty two and like two thousand and seven and eight,
So like, what did you do for fun? What where
(04:00):
did you go? Like what music did you listen to?
Like what was like a day in your life? I'm
asking because I'm just so obsessed with the early two thousands.
It just seemed like such a fun time to be
twenty two. That's my question. Like, I hope you have
a good day though, and stay blessed. Ari.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You are a vibe. You are a vibe. I love
your question. You guys. See, this is what dear Chee
is all about. Like, I get so many different questions.
I love this, not Ari putting my age on blast.
But it's all good. We love you, just kidding. I'm
I feel very comfortable with my age now. But okay, Ari,
twenty two, Okay, it's been a little bit, a little
bit okay, So yes, twenty two thousand and six, two
(04:47):
thousand and seven, amazing, it was I feel like very different. Obviously,
my mom was here, so many like amazing things. I
listened to like so much. R and B so much.
No doubt, No, No doubt was on my playlist. Destiny's
Child was on my playlist. Oh my gosh, justin Timberlake
(05:10):
probably was in sync at that time. But music, I
feel like, Oh my gosh. Yes, the thousands were amazing.
Whe early two thousands, guys. So what I was doing
for fun during that time was I was very involved
with my siblings, very involved with taking care of them
and taking care of my mother's businesses. I was doing
(05:32):
Esthetician school as well. During that time, I would go
to boxing. That's when I fell in love with boxing.
Like it was ugh, it was, it was awesome. I
just felt like I could let out a lot of
tension and I would take Johnny and my little brother
with me to go boxing. We lived in Corona during
that time, so it was just it was cute. I
(05:54):
had a little buggy. It was convertible. It was convertible.
Oh my god, Oh she just made me reminisce. I
love it down. I was twenty two, geez, Yeah, what
else was I doing? I think that's also when I
kind of started tapping into my spirituality as well. In
two thousand and six, two thousand and seven, where I
(06:16):
was like, Okay, I kind of like, you know, like
this like yoga stuff and what is this? You know,
it's very new, and I was kind of shy because
it was like I was like, Okay, I don't know
if it's a cool thing because it wasn't cool yet.
So that's kind of like when I started like looking
into like spirituality and things like that and stepping out
of like my religion a little bit. And yeah, I
(06:37):
just grew from there. But yeah, I mean that's all
I can really think about right now, to be honest.
But that's a really good question, Mari. I appreciate that.
That's really really cute. Live your life, girl. You can
live in the two thousand, early thousands if you want.
It's all in your mind, it's all in your heart.
You do it.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I love that for you.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Okay, guys, last question comes from Melissa Hi.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
They are beautiful. I'm not even sure how to work
this question, but from Northeast Ohio. I guess my question
is how do you separate your professional life from your
personal life? Because I imagine with as busy as you are
an entrepreneur, singer, and all the things that you do.
But I just wonder, how do you separate it so
that you can still remain simply Jnay.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Melissa, I like it, okay, Well, it's an everyday thing. Okay.
Some days it's easier, some days it's harder. I do
my best to at least have one day off during
the week, like one at least where I could just
do whatever it is that I want. Sometimes I just
choose to lay in bed. Sometimes I choose to just
(07:50):
hang out with my husband and go down to Santa
Monica and do all the things, visit his family, the
things that make me happy, or hang out with my siblings.
It is so important and essential for me to have
one day of rest, to be connected to my home.
That's one thing that kind of like helps me a lot.
I think it's more than anything being intentional, intentional in
making that space and making the time to obviously make
(08:13):
time for my career, because my career is my livelihood.
It's what like pays the bills, but also Janee, my heart,
my spirituality, all of that plays a huge part in it,
because if Jane's not okay, then I can't tend to
Cheeky's you know, so definitely, it's really being intentional. I
do a lot I do, and I think that in
(08:35):
some ways I have spread myself too thin. But now
I know that, and now I'm going to pick and
choose and be better with that because I still love
doing everything that I do. I just really have to
get my priorities straight and yeah, and make more time
for my personal life the things that make me happy.
You know, I'm still working at it. I'm still working
at it. So it's something I think because life changes
(08:59):
so much, going to change and I'm going to change,
so so yeah, Okay, guys, that's the end of this episode.
Thank you guys so much for listening to Dear Cheeky's
and if you have a question, please leave your question
at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. I'll
see you guys later. This is a production of iHeartRadio
(09:31):
and the Microdura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at
Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h
I q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite podcast and check us out on YouTube,
Host
Chiquis
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