March 5, 2025 • 19 mins
I got a lot of juicy questions for this episode of Dear Chiquis. This week, an anonymous listener doesn’t feel as wanted as she used to and needs help asking for intimacy from her partner; Christine has a bad feeling about one of her fiancé’s friends because he refuses to stop following her on social media; another anonymous listener wants to confront her sister because she’s giving all her attention to her new boyfriend; and Ashley asks me for tips for becoming your own dream girl.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you a device on anything and everything you
need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts
(00:39):
in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello, beautiful queen. I'm not gonna say my name because
it's kind of taboo. I just want to let you
know I met you once and Kotzu's play. It was backstage.
I was with my mama and you're gorgeous. You're gorgeous.
You're gorgeous, and you have a beautiful heart. We shared
a moment together. You were like, take care of your mom,
I missed mine. We both teared up, gave each other
(01:12):
a big hug, and that's a moment I'll treasure forever. Anyways,
so real quick, I used to be in toxic relationships
really bad. I decided I wanted better. I went with therapy.
I healed my heart and everything got so much better.
I met an amazing man afterwards. You know how they
say when you least expected, well, girl, that thing is true.
(01:33):
It was when I least expected. Beautiful man, beautiful soul
takes care of my heart. Everything I prayed for. We
were blessed with the beautiful child. Our child is about
to be six months. He's a great father. Anyways, everything
is amazing. He's a great, great person, and I love him,
and I know he adores me. I know he loves me,
(01:53):
There's no question about it. But girl, intimacy is an issue.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So at the beginning, it was all the time time,
you know, so I felt this bired wanted. But now
it's tough. It's really really tough. Things have changed. We're
going tough therapy. But how do I approach the situation?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh my Peico girl, I'm not gonna lie and tell
you that I remember that moment, but I'm assuming that
if it was hit out of the old thieves, that
must have been like twenty fourteen, something like that, fifteen,
because that was like my head out of the thes
era but mail's real buzz. But I'm glad we had
a moment, So thank you for sharing that with me.
(02:34):
And I understand that you don't want to share a name.
I'm glad that you found someone that takes care of
your heart and loves you. I don't know how old
your baby is. I'm assuming this whole intimacy thing happened
after having the baby, darn you know. I'm glad you
guys are going to therapy because that is important, and
(02:57):
I think what you're doing now is approaching the situation
in the conversation, and I'm glad that he's willing to
do therapy. So I'm not sure if you guys are
going to therapy because of the intimacy thing, but if
you haven't brought it up, you know, you don't know
how to bring it up with him. Therapy is definitely
the place to do it. When there are things that
(03:19):
I don't know what to tell, like emilia or how
to bring it up to him my husband. I'm always like, Okay,
I think we need a session, a couple's therapy session,
because I feel like when there's someone there to mediate,
you know, sometimes I don't know how to say things
or I could say them incorrectly, and then maybe the
therapist will help me, you know, facilitate that. And I
(03:41):
think that's a safe place to bring it up. Is
during therapy. It's hard because I feel like I don't know,
I don't have enough information because you said the intimacy,
so I'm assuming maybe he's not wanting to have sex
as much or as often as he used to. Is
it more of like you not wanting to Of course,
things change like relationships go through faise is you know
(04:01):
you're doing the correct thing by doing therapy, and I
hope it does work out, especially because you guys have
a child together, and if he's worth fighting for because
he takes care of your heart and he's a provider
and he's a great father, then you know, this is
a little thing that is a huge and very important
thing in a relationship, sex and intimacy. I'm hoping and
(04:22):
praying that it does get all figured out through therapy.
I think more than anything, it's also are you giving
him oral sex? Are you doing things that he likes loss?
You know, are you putting on like lingerie? Are you
dancing for him? Like? How can you do things differently
(04:42):
to spice up the relationship on your end, like doing
your part, not just you know, oh he doesn't like
you know he used to Sorry, guys, kids, be careful.
Okay you know what I'm about to say all parents,
if kids are listening. But what I'm saying is like,
maybe you were used to him, you know, getting a
direction right away when you would touch him. Like things change,
(05:04):
you know, and things get a little dull. So you
have to find new ways to spice up the relationship.
And instead of just focusing on oh he used to
do this or he is not doing that, like, start
looking at yourself and saying, hey, how can I spice
things up? Ask him questions like is there something that
do you have a fantasy? Do you want to watch
(05:25):
you know, poorn together? I don't know, Like tell him
you are interested in making this work. I'm sure your
body has changed, and be compassionate with yourself about that
because you did have a baby. But you also, you know,
want to take care of yourself and you know, do
things that will make you feel better and give you
more energy and help you lose you know, the baby
way and stuff. And I hope he understands that too.
(05:48):
So I don't know. I'm hoping that I gave you
some clarity and a good answer to your question, but
I feel like I need a little tiny bit more information.
But that's my suggestion, my peokle girl, So let me know.
Hopefully gets better. I'm praying for you, and therapy always helps,
especially when the guy is willing and is like all
in and it seems like he is. So that's a
(06:09):
great sign. So I have faith that you guys will
fix this and get around it. All right, guys, So
next question comes from Christine.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Hijk's I'm calling I need your advice. I've been with
my fiance for almost eight years and we have two kids.
The problem is there's this girl that he had as
a friend when they were younger. He still has her
as a friend on social media now. She's always been
brought up like she's the family knows her, she's a
family friend. According to him, the family brings her up
(06:44):
like saying like they were together. And I've always asked
him about her, like we're all together, like you know,
He's always told me know that he never liked her,
that they always wanted him to be with her, but
he never liked her. So and so on. Past forward,
a few years, she's coming up his brothers bring her like,
saying that that was the six girlfriend and blah blah
blah whatever. So I'm asking him, like, you know this
(07:05):
bothers me, this girl, you have her as a friend,
you're liking her pictures, and then recently I kind him
looking at her profile on social media. He told me
that he wasn't gonna take her off, that that's a
family friend. But yeah, so I don't I don't know
like it bothers me. I feel like, if your woman
is telling you something bothers her, then you need to
(07:27):
fix the problem. I don't know how to go about it.
I don't know what to do. Again. We've been together
for almost eight years. This has been a ongoing thing
for almost the whole time we've been together. What should
I do? By the way, I love you, I love
your show, love everything.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Bye mm Christine girl, Okay, thank you, I love you too. Okay,
damn social media? Huh. Well, look, I'm not telling you
to be drama, but if the family is saying this
and like openly, like they say it openly in front
(08:05):
of you, then there has to be some truth there
and if you are catching him looking at her page
and liking her stuff, then there's something there, you know,
and you can't ignore that because if it was the
other way around, I'm sure he wouldn't like it. So
(08:25):
when I say, I'm not telling you like to be
a drama girl, and no, I don't want you to
start drama, but he's not willing to tell you the
whole truth. So I'm wondering what would happen if you
were to send her a message through Instagram asking her, Hey,
don't want to start problems. I just kind of want
to get to the bottom of this. Were you guys together.
(08:47):
I just want to know for my peace of mind.
Yeah I get that, he said, like see what she says,
but you also have to either give him an ultimatum
at this point. You guys have children together, you guys
have been together for this long. Like, I think you
just got to be straight up be like, look, this
is this is making me feel uncomfortable. I don't like
(09:08):
how this is making me feel. Fine, if you don't
want to one follow her because she's a family friend, okay,
can you mute her? Can you not have conversations or
like her pictures? But honestly, like you should be his priority,
you and his children. So whatever is going to make
you feel more comfortable, he should be willing to do.
(09:29):
If he's not willing to do that, there's something there,
like why are you choosing this woman and not hurting
her feelings over my own? You know, Like that's where
my problem is. Like I'm sure if there was someone
that you were following and he wasn't like okay with it,
you would do that because you're like, I love you,
I want this to work. This is my family, you're
the father of my children. He should be willing to
(09:50):
do the same thing, and you should also feel like, okay,
either he does that, the ultimatum is either you unfollow
her and you choose us your family over her, or
we just can't make this work because there there is
definitely something there. I'm not trying to put things in
your head, but you're asking this question because you feel
the same thing. So I think you need to really
(10:11):
really think about this. Because his family's saying it. Of
course he's gonna deny it. I don't know what she
will say, but this is making you uncomfortable, and it's
been a thing for a long time. So either you're
just gonna be okay with it and just ignore it,
or you put a stop to it. That is it, Christine.
I hope everything works out. Please keep us updated. I
(10:32):
hope he comes to his senses. Okay, guys. Next question
comes from an anonymous listener.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Let's see, Hey, Cheeky's I just want to start off
by saying, Amoion podcast, in general, your whole family is
an inspiration. Is so. I have a sister who has
(11:03):
a boyfriend. And the boyfriend he's okay, he's cool. But
my sister she only focuses on him. She's kind of
you know, doesn't really pay much attention to us, her sisters,
her parents, herself. Even she used to gym five times
(11:24):
a week with me, she doesn't anymore. Every weekend from
Friday to Sunday, the only thing she does is be
with the boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with it to a
certain extent, but I feel like she has prioritized him
amongst other things. And basically, I just want to know
(11:46):
how do we tell her that what she's doing is
kind of.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Pushing others away.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Her only prioritizing her boyfriend is damaging relationships around her.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah, I think the only way is telling her straight up,
always with love. It's all about how you deliver your message.
But this happens a lot, and I'll be the first
to say, when I was younger, you know, I had
a lot of daddy issues, and what I wanted was
to have love and feel loved and you know, the
boy thing, and I would forget about my friends and
(12:22):
everyone around me because I was so fixated on this person,
on this guy, you know. And as I grew older
and matured, I learned that that is not necessarily the
healthiest I learned that the hard way. Though I don't
know how your sister is, and I don't know how
many relationships she's had. Maybe this is something really new,
(12:42):
so she's super excited about it, and she should give
her relationship time. Absolutely, but everything in life is balanced,
and I think you need to kind of just tell
her with love, just hey, I miss you. I miss
when we used to go to the gym together, you know,
because then people what happens is that they get into
relationships and they start eating, and we start gaining weight
in our body. Like because you said she used to
(13:03):
go to the gym five times out of the week,
and then they get really comfortable, and then what happens
is they forget to still be the person that they
were that attracted that person, and they make their whole
life about the person. But what people really like, and
what I've learned is when you still prioritize yourself, he's
(13:25):
going to also love and respect her for that. So
I think you have to find a way of telling
her like, hey, like you have to find balance, like yes,
be with your man, but still do the things that
make you happy, and find time for your sisters and
for your friends and for yourself, like going to the
gym and still doing all those things that at the
end of the day, did like attract him to her,
(13:46):
not to forget who she is and who she was
before she met him. You know, I think with love,
you definitely have to bring this up because if you don't,
then she's not gonna know and you can't say I
told you so. Not that you should say that, but
you know soba sonayan Gano, if you tell the person, hey,
I brought it up and I told you, then they
(14:08):
can't hold that against you later, if that makes sense.
So so I would love and tell her you miss
her and tell her that it's healthy to do that.
Now in my marriage, I have my girls' night, I
still do my thing, I go to the spall like,
I still want to be the person that I was
before I met him because I don't want to lose
myself in the relationship. I give him his time, but
(14:31):
it's all balanced. So I get you. I understand what
you're going through. Just talk to her, Talk to her. Okay,
all right, So our last question comes from Ashley.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Ola Chiki's me nombres. Ashley, then go Vin nueve An, Luisville,
Kentucky and own.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Latina.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Yeah, I'm not Latina. I am African American, but I
am such a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of
you and your siblings, and you guys are the reason
that I started learning Spanish, and actually it's part of
my career now. It's funny because my degree is in music,
(15:16):
but I work in healthcare and I'm a bilingual patient
services associate.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So I just I owe.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
A great deal of thanks to you and your siblings
and your incredible mom for motivating me to learn Spanish.
Now onto the question. So I will be thirty this
coming May, and I'm sort of in this glow up
era where I want to transition into the woman that
(15:46):
God created me to be, who I'm meant to be,
And You've always been such an inspiration. I've even done
a presentation on you in my Spanish class in college,
and I just want to know what are some of
your biggest tips to becoming your own dream girl? To me,
you are everything, So I just wanted to know.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh, Ashley, You're gonna make me cry. Thank you so much.
Oh my goodness, that is so awesome. I love that
we inspired you and now it's a part of your career.
That's that's freaking awesome. Thank you so much for your
support and I'm definitely wishing you all the best and
all your endeavors. And you know, I have always told
(16:30):
myself that I want to be true to myself and
be my authentic self and not be what everyone else
thinks I should be. I want to do what I
am meant to do and who I am meant to
be in the world. And one thing I've always had
clear and what has helped me make decisions in my
life and has helped me become the woman that I am,
(16:51):
I think is that I've always had clear my mission
in the world, which was to help I didn't know
how I was going to do it. I mean, I
have seen this and I have felt it, and this
desire to want to help others and make people better
in any way that I can since I was young,
and keeping that like having like a mission statement in
your brain, embedded in your brain and imprinted in your heart,
(17:14):
like knowing this is the difference that I want to
make in the world. It just helps you move differently
in every single way. It makes you want to like
be your best self and also with that, you're gonna
make mistakes along the way, and that's okay, but being
true to yourself about it and taking ownership of it,
being true to yourself first and foremost so that you
(17:36):
can be of inspiration to other people, you know. So
it all depends. I think it's just more than anything,
having very very clear what message, what footprint you want
to leave in the world, that being so like solidified
in that will definitely just help you move and take
(17:57):
every step towards what you're meant to do. But I
feel like you're good, Like I'm hearing you speak and
I'm like, okay, she's good. Like I feel like you
are very clear in what you want. And you know,
I think just not forgetting being true to yourself and
not letting the world change your essence. You know, because
we live in a world that a lot of stuff
(18:20):
is happening, a lot of sad things have happened. But
don't let that change you, and don't let that change
and move your focus. You know, I always say, God,
keep my feet firmly grounded, my vision focused, and my
heart in the right place. Say that every single day
and you will see that little by little things would
just fall into place and you will be your spirit
will guide you where you need to go. So Ashley,
(18:42):
definitely let us know what's going on with you, with
all of you, with Peekle Girl, Christine, our anonymous listener,
all of you guys, I definitely want to hear back
from you. Please keep us updated and thank you so
much for your time for taking the time to leave
us or leave me a question. And for those of
you listening if you have not yet left me a
question and if you feel inspired to do so, definitely
go to speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts
(19:06):
to leave me your question. Okay, I am here to help.
I love you guys, and I will catch you on
the next episode of Dear Cheeky's. This is a production
of iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us
on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's
That's c h I q U I s. For more
(19:28):
podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you a device on anything and everything you
need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts
(00:39):
in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hello, beautiful queen. I'm not gonna say my name because
it's kind of taboo. I just want to let you
know I met you once and Kotzu's play. It was backstage.
I was with my mama and you're gorgeous. You're gorgeous.
You're gorgeous, and you have a beautiful heart. We shared
a moment together. You were like, take care of your mom,
I missed mine. We both teared up, gave each other
(01:12):
a big hug, and that's a moment I'll treasure forever. Anyways,
so real quick, I used to be in toxic relationships
really bad. I decided I wanted better. I went with therapy.
I healed my heart and everything got so much better.
I met an amazing man afterwards. You know how they
say when you least expected, well, girl, that thing is true.
(01:33):
It was when I least expected. Beautiful man, beautiful soul
takes care of my heart. Everything I prayed for. We
were blessed with the beautiful child. Our child is about
to be six months. He's a great father. Anyways, everything
is amazing. He's a great, great person, and I love him,
and I know he adores me. I know he loves me,
(01:53):
There's no question about it. But girl, intimacy is an issue.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So at the beginning, it was all the time time,
you know, so I felt this bired wanted. But now
it's tough. It's really really tough. Things have changed. We're
going tough therapy. But how do I approach the situation?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh my Peico girl, I'm not gonna lie and tell
you that I remember that moment, but I'm assuming that
if it was hit out of the old thieves, that
must have been like twenty fourteen, something like that, fifteen,
because that was like my head out of the thes
era but mail's real buzz. But I'm glad we had
a moment, So thank you for sharing that with me.
(02:34):
And I understand that you don't want to share a name.
I'm glad that you found someone that takes care of
your heart and loves you. I don't know how old
your baby is. I'm assuming this whole intimacy thing happened
after having the baby, darn you know. I'm glad you
guys are going to therapy because that is important, and
(02:57):
I think what you're doing now is approaching the situation
in the conversation, and I'm glad that he's willing to
do therapy. So I'm not sure if you guys are
going to therapy because of the intimacy thing, but if
you haven't brought it up, you know, you don't know
how to bring it up with him. Therapy is definitely
the place to do it. When there are things that
(03:19):
I don't know what to tell, like emilia or how
to bring it up to him my husband. I'm always like, Okay,
I think we need a session, a couple's therapy session,
because I feel like when there's someone there to mediate,
you know, sometimes I don't know how to say things
or I could say them incorrectly, and then maybe the
therapist will help me, you know, facilitate that. And I
(03:41):
think that's a safe place to bring it up. Is
during therapy. It's hard because I feel like I don't know,
I don't have enough information because you said the intimacy,
so I'm assuming maybe he's not wanting to have sex
as much or as often as he used to. Is
it more of like you not wanting to Of course,
things change like relationships go through faise is you know
(04:01):
you're doing the correct thing by doing therapy, and I
hope it does work out, especially because you guys have
a child together, and if he's worth fighting for because
he takes care of your heart and he's a provider
and he's a great father, then you know, this is
a little thing that is a huge and very important
thing in a relationship, sex and intimacy. I'm hoping and
(04:22):
praying that it does get all figured out through therapy.
I think more than anything, it's also are you giving
him oral sex? Are you doing things that he likes loss?
You know, are you putting on like lingerie? Are you
dancing for him? Like? How can you do things differently
(04:42):
to spice up the relationship on your end, like doing
your part, not just you know, oh he doesn't like
you know he used to Sorry, guys, kids, be careful.
Okay you know what I'm about to say all parents,
if kids are listening. But what I'm saying is like,
maybe you were used to him, you know, getting a
direction right away when you would touch him. Like things change,
(05:04):
you know, and things get a little dull. So you
have to find new ways to spice up the relationship.
And instead of just focusing on oh he used to
do this or he is not doing that, like, start
looking at yourself and saying, hey, how can I spice
things up? Ask him questions like is there something that
do you have a fantasy? Do you want to watch
(05:25):
you know, poorn together? I don't know, Like tell him
you are interested in making this work. I'm sure your
body has changed, and be compassionate with yourself about that
because you did have a baby. But you also, you know,
want to take care of yourself and you know, do
things that will make you feel better and give you
more energy and help you lose you know, the baby
way and stuff. And I hope he understands that too.
(05:48):
So I don't know. I'm hoping that I gave you
some clarity and a good answer to your question, but
I feel like I need a little tiny bit more information.
But that's my suggestion, my peokle girl, So let me know.
Hopefully gets better. I'm praying for you, and therapy always helps,
especially when the guy is willing and is like all
in and it seems like he is. So that's a
(06:09):
great sign. So I have faith that you guys will
fix this and get around it. All right, guys, So
next question comes from Christine.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Hijk's I'm calling I need your advice. I've been with
my fiance for almost eight years and we have two kids.
The problem is there's this girl that he had as
a friend when they were younger. He still has her
as a friend on social media now. She's always been
brought up like she's the family knows her, she's a
family friend. According to him, the family brings her up
(06:44):
like saying like they were together. And I've always asked
him about her, like we're all together, like you know,
He's always told me know that he never liked her,
that they always wanted him to be with her, but
he never liked her. So and so on. Past forward,
a few years, she's coming up his brothers bring her like,
saying that that was the six girlfriend and blah blah
blah whatever. So I'm asking him, like, you know this
(07:05):
bothers me, this girl, you have her as a friend,
you're liking her pictures, and then recently I kind him
looking at her profile on social media. He told me
that he wasn't gonna take her off, that that's a
family friend. But yeah, so I don't I don't know
like it bothers me. I feel like, if your woman
is telling you something bothers her, then you need to
(07:27):
fix the problem. I don't know how to go about it.
I don't know what to do. Again. We've been together
for almost eight years. This has been a ongoing thing
for almost the whole time we've been together. What should
I do? By the way, I love you, I love
your show, love everything.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Bye mm Christine girl, Okay, thank you, I love you too. Okay,
damn social media? Huh. Well, look, I'm not telling you
to be drama, but if the family is saying this
and like openly, like they say it openly in front
(08:05):
of you, then there has to be some truth there
and if you are catching him looking at her page
and liking her stuff, then there's something there, you know,
and you can't ignore that because if it was the
other way around, I'm sure he wouldn't like it. So
(08:25):
when I say, I'm not telling you like to be
a drama girl, and no, I don't want you to
start drama, but he's not willing to tell you the
whole truth. So I'm wondering what would happen if you
were to send her a message through Instagram asking her, Hey,
don't want to start problems. I just kind of want
to get to the bottom of this. Were you guys together.
(08:47):
I just want to know for my peace of mind.
Yeah I get that, he said, like see what she says,
but you also have to either give him an ultimatum
at this point. You guys have children together, you guys
have been together for this long. Like, I think you
just got to be straight up be like, look, this
is this is making me feel uncomfortable. I don't like
(09:08):
how this is making me feel. Fine, if you don't
want to one follow her because she's a family friend, okay,
can you mute her? Can you not have conversations or
like her pictures? But honestly, like you should be his priority,
you and his children. So whatever is going to make
you feel more comfortable, he should be willing to do.
(09:29):
If he's not willing to do that, there's something there,
like why are you choosing this woman and not hurting
her feelings over my own? You know, Like that's where
my problem is. Like I'm sure if there was someone
that you were following and he wasn't like okay with it,
you would do that because you're like, I love you,
I want this to work. This is my family, you're
the father of my children. He should be willing to
(09:50):
do the same thing, and you should also feel like, okay,
either he does that, the ultimatum is either you unfollow
her and you choose us your family over her, or
we just can't make this work because there there is
definitely something there. I'm not trying to put things in
your head, but you're asking this question because you feel
the same thing. So I think you need to really
(10:11):
really think about this. Because his family's saying it. Of
course he's gonna deny it. I don't know what she
will say, but this is making you uncomfortable, and it's
been a thing for a long time. So either you're
just gonna be okay with it and just ignore it,
or you put a stop to it. That is it, Christine.
I hope everything works out. Please keep us updated. I
(10:32):
hope he comes to his senses. Okay, guys. Next question
comes from an anonymous listener.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Let's see, Hey, Cheeky's I just want to start off
by saying, Amoion podcast, in general, your whole family is
an inspiration. Is so. I have a sister who has
(11:03):
a boyfriend. And the boyfriend he's okay, he's cool. But
my sister she only focuses on him. She's kind of
you know, doesn't really pay much attention to us, her sisters,
her parents, herself. Even she used to gym five times
(11:24):
a week with me, she doesn't anymore. Every weekend from
Friday to Sunday, the only thing she does is be
with the boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with it to a
certain extent, but I feel like she has prioritized him
amongst other things. And basically, I just want to know
(11:46):
how do we tell her that what she's doing is
kind of.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Pushing others away.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Her only prioritizing her boyfriend is damaging relationships around her.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah, I think the only way is telling her straight up,
always with love. It's all about how you deliver your message.
But this happens a lot, and I'll be the first
to say, when I was younger, you know, I had
a lot of daddy issues, and what I wanted was
to have love and feel loved and you know, the
boy thing, and I would forget about my friends and
(12:22):
everyone around me because I was so fixated on this person,
on this guy, you know. And as I grew older
and matured, I learned that that is not necessarily the
healthiest I learned that the hard way. Though I don't
know how your sister is, and I don't know how
many relationships she's had. Maybe this is something really new,
(12:42):
so she's super excited about it, and she should give
her relationship time. Absolutely, but everything in life is balanced,
and I think you need to kind of just tell
her with love, just hey, I miss you. I miss
when we used to go to the gym together, you know,
because then people what happens is that they get into
relationships and they start eating, and we start gaining weight
in our body. Like because you said she used to
(13:03):
go to the gym five times out of the week,
and then they get really comfortable, and then what happens
is they forget to still be the person that they
were that attracted that person, and they make their whole
life about the person. But what people really like, and
what I've learned is when you still prioritize yourself, he's
(13:25):
going to also love and respect her for that. So
I think you have to find a way of telling
her like, hey, like you have to find balance, like yes,
be with your man, but still do the things that
make you happy, and find time for your sisters and
for your friends and for yourself, like going to the
gym and still doing all those things that at the
end of the day, did like attract him to her,
(13:46):
not to forget who she is and who she was
before she met him. You know, I think with love,
you definitely have to bring this up because if you don't,
then she's not gonna know and you can't say I
told you so. Not that you should say that, but
you know soba sonayan Gano, if you tell the person, hey,
I brought it up and I told you, then they
(14:08):
can't hold that against you later, if that makes sense.
So so I would love and tell her you miss
her and tell her that it's healthy to do that.
Now in my marriage, I have my girls' night, I
still do my thing, I go to the spall like,
I still want to be the person that I was
before I met him because I don't want to lose
myself in the relationship. I give him his time, but
(14:31):
it's all balanced. So I get you. I understand what
you're going through. Just talk to her, Talk to her. Okay,
all right, So our last question comes from Ashley.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Ola Chiki's me nombres. Ashley, then go Vin nueve An, Luisville,
Kentucky and own.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Latina.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Yeah, I'm not Latina. I am African American, but I
am such a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of
you and your siblings, and you guys are the reason
that I started learning Spanish, and actually it's part of
my career now. It's funny because my degree is in music,
(15:16):
but I work in healthcare and I'm a bilingual patient
services associate.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So I just I owe.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
A great deal of thanks to you and your siblings
and your incredible mom for motivating me to learn Spanish.
Now onto the question. So I will be thirty this
coming May, and I'm sort of in this glow up
era where I want to transition into the woman that
(15:46):
God created me to be, who I'm meant to be,
And You've always been such an inspiration. I've even done
a presentation on you in my Spanish class in college,
and I just want to know what are some of
your biggest tips to becoming your own dream girl? To me,
you are everything, So I just wanted to know.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh, Ashley, You're gonna make me cry. Thank you so much.
Oh my goodness, that is so awesome. I love that
we inspired you and now it's a part of your career.
That's that's freaking awesome. Thank you so much for your
support and I'm definitely wishing you all the best and
all your endeavors. And you know, I have always told
(16:30):
myself that I want to be true to myself and
be my authentic self and not be what everyone else
thinks I should be. I want to do what I
am meant to do and who I am meant to
be in the world. And one thing I've always had
clear and what has helped me make decisions in my
life and has helped me become the woman that I am,
(16:51):
I think is that I've always had clear my mission
in the world, which was to help I didn't know
how I was going to do it. I mean, I
have seen this and I have felt it, and this
desire to want to help others and make people better
in any way that I can since I was young,
and keeping that like having like a mission statement in
your brain, embedded in your brain and imprinted in your heart,
(17:14):
like knowing this is the difference that I want to
make in the world. It just helps you move differently
in every single way. It makes you want to like
be your best self and also with that, you're gonna
make mistakes along the way, and that's okay, but being
true to yourself about it and taking ownership of it,
being true to yourself first and foremost so that you
(17:36):
can be of inspiration to other people, you know. So
it all depends. I think it's just more than anything,
having very very clear what message, what footprint you want
to leave in the world, that being so like solidified
in that will definitely just help you move and take
(17:57):
every step towards what you're meant to do. But I
feel like you're good, Like I'm hearing you speak and
I'm like, okay, she's good. Like I feel like you
are very clear in what you want. And you know,
I think just not forgetting being true to yourself and
not letting the world change your essence. You know, because
we live in a world that a lot of stuff
(18:20):
is happening, a lot of sad things have happened. But
don't let that change you, and don't let that change
and move your focus. You know, I always say, God,
keep my feet firmly grounded, my vision focused, and my
heart in the right place. Say that every single day
and you will see that little by little things would
just fall into place and you will be your spirit
will guide you where you need to go. So Ashley,
(18:42):
definitely let us know what's going on with you, with
all of you, with Peekle Girl, Christine, our anonymous listener,
all of you guys, I definitely want to hear back
from you. Please keep us updated and thank you so
much for your time for taking the time to leave
us or leave me a question. And for those of
you listening if you have not yet left me a
question and if you feel inspired to do so, definitely
go to speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts
(19:06):
to leave me your question. Okay, I am here to help.
I love you guys, and I will catch you on
the next episode of Dear Cheeky's. This is a production
of iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us
on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's
That's c h I q U I s. For more
(19:28):
podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.
Host
Chiquis
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