March 26, 2025 • 14 mins
This episode of Dear Chiquis is HOT!!! This week, Paty’s ex wants to give her full custody of their kids and she wants my thoughts on that; Karina is debating whether to end a 10-year relationship with her partner for a co-worker; a “secret admirer” asks me if I’ve ever thought about marrying a woman; and Viri is on a journey to forgive herself for past mistakes.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you a device on anything and everything you
need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts
(00:39):
in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
the sound of the beab.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Him Cheeky's. I just wanted to see what your point
of view out of this was. So. I was previously
married for kick teen years. We got two beautiful kids
out of that relationship. We've had a very good co
parenting up until recently. He started a relationship was like
(01:13):
expected to happen, Like I told him, I wanted him
to be happy like regardless with anybody he was with.
But the person that he's with now doesn't want him
to have a relationship with his kids or anything. And
he sent a message to my son's cell phone saying
that he wanted to give me more custody. Should I
(01:35):
just do it? Or what do you think I should do?
What should I recommend me to do? I'm like lost
right now. I don't know what to do, like going
back and forth. I feel bad. I feel sad for
my kids because they're fifteen and sixteen. Now I know
they're older, they understand more, but like, I feel like
(01:57):
it's hard because their dad's always been in their life
and for him to just walk out for another girl,
Like I mean, I feel like that's where I can't
put my head around it. Like it's just very awkward.
Now there's like no coe parentee, no nothing since he
(02:18):
started this relationship, so it's kind of hard. I don't know.
Please tell me your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I gotta take a deep breath because I'm very upset.
But the look, I know it's hard and it hurts
you for your children. But excuse my language, fuck this
guy because I'm sorry, what an idiot And I usually
don't speak this way, especially because I don't know this person,
But I'm sorry if he's texting his son and saying
(02:46):
that he basically wants to give up custody and wants
nothing to do with his kids say, what are you thinking?
And I always say this, and I have such a
problem with women that come into men's lives and they
try to conquer and divide, Like how how can he
even think this is a good woman to be with
(03:07):
if she doesn't want him to be close to his kids?
Are you kidding me? This is a disaster waiting to happen.
I think you need to get full custody. Get your
children far away from this guy. If he doesn't want
to be in their lives right now, fine, goodbye, good riddance.
Get them baybi in Save your children and their hearts.
(03:29):
It's going to hurt. Put them into therapy, give them
lots of love, be there for them, be the mother
and the father. That's what my mother was, and SAVISKI.
For a long time, I was completely fine, and I'm
still fine to this point, to this day. I was
fine because I had such a great mother who was
my mother and my father. You know, she was tough,
but I didn't miss my dad. So especially if he
(03:52):
doesn't want to be in their lives, fine, bye, he
will come back. He will come crawling back. And then
that's bridge that you'll cry when you get there and
it'll be your children's decision, but he'll have to deal
with it with the consequences, and he is going to
miss out. So if I were you, I would say, Okay,
I'm gonna give you what you want. God bless you
take his ass to court if you do want full custody.
(04:14):
But he still needs to be responsible in some way financially.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
That's a whole other story. But ooh, this man pissed
me off. Oh my gosh, Sorry, guys, it's just breathe, Patty.
I am sending you and your children a big hug.
It's okay. It's gonna be fine. They have a great mother.
They're not even gonna miss your dad. Maybe for a
little bit. It's gonna be tough, but it's gonna be fine.
(04:38):
All right, guys, let's move on to the next question,
comes from Karina.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Hey, Cheeky's I am really excited to be doing this.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I am.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
First of all, I'm a huge fan. I love you.
You're such an inspiration to latinas and I love what
you sand for. I love everything about you. You're such
a wonderful person. But I need your help. I wanted
to see your input in work relationships. Unfortunately I want
to say it, but yes, I am going to attend
your relationship and I found some one at work that
(05:13):
I really like. But I'm wanting to get your input.
Do you think work relationship is just a passive thing
or do you think that it could actually grow into something?
And when do you think it will be like the
right time to like separate myself from my current relationship
or when do you think you it will be a
(05:36):
time where I could be like, Okay, I know what
I want your honest opinion.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Okay, Karina, First of all, thank you for all the
beautiful things you said, thank you for your support, thank
you for sending me your question, and you did say
you wanted my honest opinion, so I'm going to be honest.
You're playing with fire, Karina. If you are in a
ten year relationship and you are happy, I don't know.
You didn't tell me all that. If you're happy, it's
not worth it for a little fling, because if you
(06:06):
guys are working together, that's going to get very sticky
and very boring very quickly. You and this other person, right,
because working with the person, living with the person, being
with the person is just that's just too much. You
guys need some type of like breather in space. So
it might be fun and exciting right now, especially when
something is forbidden, it's more exciting, right People get a
(06:27):
kick out of that, and I think that's probably what
you're feeling right now. But I don't think it's the
right decision, especially if you are in a relationship already.
You're starting this off, you would start it off on
the wrong foot. And anything that starts off on the
wrong foot will end on the wrong foot. Trust me,
I know, been there, done that. If you are not
happy in your current relationship, then you need to end
(06:48):
that first, and not end it because you want to
be with someone else. End it because you're not happy
because it's not working out, because of whatever the reasons
may be. But you really need to weigh things out.
You need to put things on scale because it might
be something that you can regret very quickly. This other
person might seem exciting and it's something new and this
(07:09):
and that like that only goes so far. So you
got to really think and pray about this one, babe,
because in my opinion, your playing with fired and you
got to be careful with that. Because you will get burned.
And that's my honest opinion, and I hope it helps,
and I hope you make the right decision for yourself
and also of course for your partner. Just end that
(07:31):
before you start something.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
New, babe.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Okay, okay, guys, oh wow, our next question comes from
it says your secret admirer.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Okay, let's see, Hey, beautiful, I know that you're recently married,
but I was wondering if you've ever thought about marrying
a woman before. Love you bad damn girl.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You guys, this episode is hot. Okay, well, secret admire
I will be honest. Yeah, if you would ask me
this question ten years ago, probably i'd be like, yeah,
I definitely want to be with the girl. I see
myself with the girl. I'd be happy with the girl.
Wouldn't mind marrying a girl. And yes, I am recently
married and I'm very happily married, thank god. And I've
(08:23):
said this on the podcast a lot, guys. I was
like fifteen percent, twenty percent, you know, lesbian, gay, whatever,
and it's gone away. I feel I know that sounds funny,
but I feel like I don't know. I'm happy in
my relationship. I'm satisfied, and I'm good. I've always been
honest with the media. He's from the very beginning. I said,
(08:44):
I'm gonna be so freaking honest with him about everything
good to the bad, the ugly, and he knows all
of this. But yeah, I mean I thought about it
once in my life. So yeah, thank you for your question,
my secret admire I hope you are doing well. I'm
sending you a big hug. Okay, guys, last question comes
(09:04):
from vat.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Hi Cheeky's how are you? I would like some advice
regarding making peace with the past version of yourself and
just giving yourself grace and compassion. So a little bit
about my situation. I am twenty four years old and
I've struggled with my mental health for many years now.
I actually had one of the worst years of my
(09:27):
life last years, and it got so bad that I
even had considered taking my own life away, but nevertheless,
I decided to invest at all and just do the
work I was healing. I was going to therapy, getting medicated,
reading the Bible, really getting in tune with myself. But
(09:47):
in that process, I've been alone. Prior to me doing
the work, I just have lost a lot of friends
and lost a very important relationship in my life. So
I just can't help but feel that I'm paying some
type of karma and I feel like I'm not worthy
of the change moving forward. And I just want to
(10:11):
get out of that mindset and mentality because I know
that I have much more to give. But yeah, I
just feel like my past I've been a people pleaser,
so I'm just stuck in that mindset of I did
something wrong to them, and I just don't deserve to
be happy. So if you have any advice, I would
(10:32):
appreciate it a lot. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Oh my gosh, bed First of all, I'm so proud
of you, so proud of you for being so young
and doing the work, because you would be surprised. There
are people that are a lot older than you that
don't have the willpower to do it and you have.
And you should be proud of yourself, and you should
give yourself a pat on the back. And one thing
that you will learn right now. You're young, but you
(10:57):
seem to be like a very mature and wise young
lady from hearing you out. But one thing that you
will see is that there are seasons in our lives,
and we're meant to evolve and to grow and to
become the best versions of ourselves, especially when you are
seeking it the way you are. And with that also
(11:18):
comes shedding and people that were in your life with
the last version of yourself, maybe the unhealthier version of yourself.
Let's say, right, those people will stay there and they
are not meant to come with you on this new
(11:39):
and brighter and happier journey of becoming who you're meant
to become. So don't look at it like you are
losing these people and you are not worthy of love,
because you absolutely are. What you're doing is you're creating
space for new people for this new season of your life,
for people that are going to be on the same
energy level, the same frequency as you are, the same wavelength,
(12:02):
all those things. Like you have to know right now
it might feel a little lonely, but you're never alone
and you have to know that and just be patient
the right people will come into your life. Just know
that those people are probably not meant to come with
you on this next cycle, in this next chapter of
(12:22):
your life. And I just talked about this on one
of my episodes on Cheeky's and chill about being okay
with losing the right people. It hurts and it's uncomfortable.
But if they were happy for you, if they loved
you and were supporting one hundred percent of who you
want to become, because you're happier than they would stay.
(12:43):
If they don't, it's because they're not the right people
for you. So you got to be okay with that.
And you're young, and I get it. But keep going
to church, keep healing yourself, and you will see little
by little. You don't want a lot of people. You
want the right people in your life, even if it's
two or three people, but as long as you know
they're the right people. So be proud, be proud of
(13:04):
yourself because you're definitely doing hard work, work that people
go their whole lifetime not able to do or they
don't have the willpower, and you're doing it. So I'm
very proud of you.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Vity And.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Just be patient, be patient to give yourself grace and
everything will be okay. All right, guys. Well, this concludes
our episode, this episode of Dear Cheeky's. Thank you guys
for listening. I hope that even if it isn't your
question that I'm answering, that you can learn something and
grow from some of the device that I'm giving and
the questions that people are asking, And if you have
(13:40):
a question, definitely leave it. I would love to help
you in any way that I can and give you
the best advice from the bottom of my heart. Leave
your question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill
podcast Asia. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the
Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
(14:03):
Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h I
q U i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite podcast
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you a device on anything and everything you
need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts
(00:39):
in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
the sound of the beab.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Him Cheeky's. I just wanted to see what your point
of view out of this was. So. I was previously
married for kick teen years. We got two beautiful kids
out of that relationship. We've had a very good co
parenting up until recently. He started a relationship was like
(01:13):
expected to happen, Like I told him, I wanted him
to be happy like regardless with anybody he was with.
But the person that he's with now doesn't want him
to have a relationship with his kids or anything. And
he sent a message to my son's cell phone saying
that he wanted to give me more custody. Should I
(01:35):
just do it? Or what do you think I should do?
What should I recommend me to do? I'm like lost
right now. I don't know what to do, like going
back and forth. I feel bad. I feel sad for
my kids because they're fifteen and sixteen. Now I know
they're older, they understand more, but like, I feel like
(01:57):
it's hard because their dad's always been in their life
and for him to just walk out for another girl,
Like I mean, I feel like that's where I can't
put my head around it. Like it's just very awkward.
Now there's like no coe parentee, no nothing since he
(02:18):
started this relationship, so it's kind of hard. I don't know.
Please tell me your thoughts.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I gotta take a deep breath because I'm very upset.
But the look, I know it's hard and it hurts
you for your children. But excuse my language, fuck this
guy because I'm sorry, what an idiot And I usually
don't speak this way, especially because I don't know this person,
But I'm sorry if he's texting his son and saying
(02:46):
that he basically wants to give up custody and wants
nothing to do with his kids say, what are you thinking?
And I always say this, and I have such a
problem with women that come into men's lives and they
try to conquer and divide, Like how how can he
even think this is a good woman to be with
(03:07):
if she doesn't want him to be close to his kids?
Are you kidding me? This is a disaster waiting to happen.
I think you need to get full custody. Get your
children far away from this guy. If he doesn't want
to be in their lives right now, fine, goodbye, good riddance.
Get them baybi in Save your children and their hearts.
(03:29):
It's going to hurt. Put them into therapy, give them
lots of love, be there for them, be the mother
and the father. That's what my mother was, and SAVISKI.
For a long time, I was completely fine, and I'm
still fine to this point, to this day. I was
fine because I had such a great mother who was
my mother and my father. You know, she was tough,
but I didn't miss my dad. So especially if he
(03:52):
doesn't want to be in their lives, fine, bye, he
will come back. He will come crawling back. And then
that's bridge that you'll cry when you get there and
it'll be your children's decision, but he'll have to deal
with it with the consequences, and he is going to
miss out. So if I were you, I would say, Okay,
I'm gonna give you what you want. God bless you
take his ass to court if you do want full custody.
(04:14):
But he still needs to be responsible in some way financially.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
That's a whole other story. But ooh, this man pissed
me off. Oh my gosh, Sorry, guys, it's just breathe, Patty.
I am sending you and your children a big hug.
It's okay. It's gonna be fine. They have a great mother.
They're not even gonna miss your dad. Maybe for a
little bit. It's gonna be tough, but it's gonna be fine.
(04:38):
All right, guys, let's move on to the next question,
comes from Karina.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Hey, Cheeky's I am really excited to be doing this.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I am.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
First of all, I'm a huge fan. I love you.
You're such an inspiration to latinas and I love what
you sand for. I love everything about you. You're such
a wonderful person. But I need your help. I wanted
to see your input in work relationships. Unfortunately I want
to say it, but yes, I am going to attend
your relationship and I found some one at work that
(05:13):
I really like. But I'm wanting to get your input.
Do you think work relationship is just a passive thing
or do you think that it could actually grow into something?
And when do you think it will be like the
right time to like separate myself from my current relationship
or when do you think you it will be a
(05:36):
time where I could be like, Okay, I know what
I want your honest opinion.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Okay, Karina, First of all, thank you for all the
beautiful things you said, thank you for your support, thank
you for sending me your question, and you did say
you wanted my honest opinion, so I'm going to be honest.
You're playing with fire, Karina. If you are in a
ten year relationship and you are happy, I don't know.
You didn't tell me all that. If you're happy, it's
not worth it for a little fling, because if you
(06:06):
guys are working together, that's going to get very sticky
and very boring very quickly. You and this other person, right,
because working with the person, living with the person, being
with the person is just that's just too much. You
guys need some type of like breather in space. So
it might be fun and exciting right now, especially when
something is forbidden, it's more exciting, right People get a
(06:27):
kick out of that, and I think that's probably what
you're feeling right now. But I don't think it's the
right decision, especially if you are in a relationship already.
You're starting this off, you would start it off on
the wrong foot. And anything that starts off on the
wrong foot will end on the wrong foot. Trust me,
I know, been there, done that. If you are not
happy in your current relationship, then you need to end
(06:48):
that first, and not end it because you want to
be with someone else. End it because you're not happy
because it's not working out, because of whatever the reasons
may be. But you really need to weigh things out.
You need to put things on scale because it might
be something that you can regret very quickly. This other
person might seem exciting and it's something new and this
(07:09):
and that like that only goes so far. So you
got to really think and pray about this one, babe,
because in my opinion, your playing with fired and you
got to be careful with that. Because you will get burned.
And that's my honest opinion, and I hope it helps,
and I hope you make the right decision for yourself
and also of course for your partner. Just end that
(07:31):
before you start something.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
New, babe.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Okay, okay, guys, oh wow, our next question comes from
it says your secret admirer.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Okay, let's see, Hey, beautiful, I know that you're recently married,
but I was wondering if you've ever thought about marrying
a woman before. Love you bad damn girl.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You guys, this episode is hot. Okay, well, secret admire
I will be honest. Yeah, if you would ask me
this question ten years ago, probably i'd be like, yeah,
I definitely want to be with the girl. I see
myself with the girl. I'd be happy with the girl.
Wouldn't mind marrying a girl. And yes, I am recently
married and I'm very happily married, thank god. And I've
(08:23):
said this on the podcast a lot, guys. I was
like fifteen percent, twenty percent, you know, lesbian, gay, whatever,
and it's gone away. I feel I know that sounds funny,
but I feel like I don't know. I'm happy in
my relationship. I'm satisfied, and I'm good. I've always been
honest with the media. He's from the very beginning. I said,
(08:44):
I'm gonna be so freaking honest with him about everything
good to the bad, the ugly, and he knows all
of this. But yeah, I mean I thought about it
once in my life. So yeah, thank you for your question,
my secret admire I hope you are doing well. I'm
sending you a big hug. Okay, guys, last question comes
(09:04):
from vat.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
Hi Cheeky's how are you? I would like some advice
regarding making peace with the past version of yourself and
just giving yourself grace and compassion. So a little bit
about my situation. I am twenty four years old and
I've struggled with my mental health for many years now.
I actually had one of the worst years of my
(09:27):
life last years, and it got so bad that I
even had considered taking my own life away, but nevertheless,
I decided to invest at all and just do the
work I was healing. I was going to therapy, getting medicated,
reading the Bible, really getting in tune with myself. But
(09:47):
in that process, I've been alone. Prior to me doing
the work, I just have lost a lot of friends
and lost a very important relationship in my life. So
I just can't help but feel that I'm paying some
type of karma and I feel like I'm not worthy
of the change moving forward. And I just want to
(10:11):
get out of that mindset and mentality because I know
that I have much more to give. But yeah, I
just feel like my past I've been a people pleaser,
so I'm just stuck in that mindset of I did
something wrong to them, and I just don't deserve to
be happy. So if you have any advice, I would
(10:32):
appreciate it a lot. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Oh my gosh, bed First of all, I'm so proud
of you, so proud of you for being so young
and doing the work, because you would be surprised. There
are people that are a lot older than you that
don't have the willpower to do it and you have.
And you should be proud of yourself, and you should
give yourself a pat on the back. And one thing
that you will learn right now. You're young, but you
(10:57):
seem to be like a very mature and wise young
lady from hearing you out. But one thing that you
will see is that there are seasons in our lives,
and we're meant to evolve and to grow and to
become the best versions of ourselves, especially when you are
seeking it the way you are. And with that also
(11:18):
comes shedding and people that were in your life with
the last version of yourself, maybe the unhealthier version of yourself.
Let's say, right, those people will stay there and they
are not meant to come with you on this new
(11:39):
and brighter and happier journey of becoming who you're meant
to become. So don't look at it like you are
losing these people and you are not worthy of love,
because you absolutely are. What you're doing is you're creating
space for new people for this new season of your life,
for people that are going to be on the same
energy level, the same frequency as you are, the same wavelength,
(12:02):
all those things. Like you have to know right now
it might feel a little lonely, but you're never alone
and you have to know that and just be patient
the right people will come into your life. Just know
that those people are probably not meant to come with
you on this next cycle, in this next chapter of
(12:22):
your life. And I just talked about this on one
of my episodes on Cheeky's and chill about being okay
with losing the right people. It hurts and it's uncomfortable.
But if they were happy for you, if they loved
you and were supporting one hundred percent of who you
want to become, because you're happier than they would stay.
(12:43):
If they don't, it's because they're not the right people
for you. So you got to be okay with that.
And you're young, and I get it. But keep going
to church, keep healing yourself, and you will see little
by little. You don't want a lot of people. You
want the right people in your life, even if it's
two or three people, but as long as you know
they're the right people. So be proud, be proud of
(13:04):
yourself because you're definitely doing hard work, work that people
go their whole lifetime not able to do or they
don't have the willpower, and you're doing it. So I'm
very proud of you.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Vity And.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Just be patient, be patient to give yourself grace and
everything will be okay. All right, guys. Well, this concludes
our episode, this episode of Dear Cheeky's. Thank you guys
for listening. I hope that even if it isn't your
question that I'm answering, that you can learn something and
grow from some of the device that I'm giving and
the questions that people are asking, And if you have
(13:40):
a question, definitely leave it. I would love to help
you in any way that I can and give you
the best advice from the bottom of my heart. Leave
your question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill
podcast Asia. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the
Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
(14:03):
Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h I
q U i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite podcast
Host
Chiquis
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Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!