EP 412: No Holes Barred (Ft. Tempest-X)

Help us become a New York Time's Best Seller & make sure you pre-order your copy of Mandii & Weezy’s  upcoming debut book:

“No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/No-Holes-Barred/Mandii-B/9781668061299

This week Mandii & Weezy are joined by Tempest-X, author & co-writer of the ladies’ upcoming book: “No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power.” Starting off the episode we get to learn more about Tempest-X, how much the book has changed since the start of writing, the art direction of the cover of the book, and how Tempest played “therapist” through the writing and editing. After reminiscing Mandii’s “backdoor” story, the ladies get into dealing with the insecurities during writing, how the book’s chapters are broken down, and what the toughest chapters to write were. While breaking down the chapters, the ladies get into their favorite chapters, the awakening while writing this book, a secret Weezy’s been hiding from us that’s revealed in the book, and much more! 

Follow the hosts on social media Weezy @Weezywtf & Mandii B @Fullcourtpumps and follow the Decisions Decisions pages
Instagram @_decisionsdecisions


Don't forget to tag #decisionsdecisions or @ us to let us know what you think of this week's episode!
Want more? Bonus episodes, merch and more Whoreible Decisions!! Become a Patron at Patreon.com/whoreibledecisions

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaks to the planet.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions, Man,
DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B
Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine. We got the Women
of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts, we got Good

(00:23):
Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with her
next sports podcast, and the Trap Nerds podcast with more
to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses,
plus the food truck court to keep you fed while
you visit us. All right, listen, you don't want to
miss this. Tap in and grab your tickets now at
Black Effect dot Com Flash Podcast Festival.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Welcome to Decisions Decisions.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
I don't think you should say the Decisions.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
It sounded like you.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
Was talking to person you definitely say to Welcome, Welcome
to the new podcast. How about you want to say
together the Decisions Decisions.

Speaker 5 (00:59):
Welcome y'all a very special episode of Decisions Decisions. It's
your girl, podcaster, producer and aufa.

Speaker 4 (01:11):
Maybe thank you for making us an author tympist, because
who knows if many not do this together, it might
have turned into TV shows.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
There wouldn't have been a book it would have we
wouldn't have been able to.

Speaker 5 (01:21):
Go through that process. Well, just us writing like without
being pulled out. Guys, we're having a no holds barred
special edition episode.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
The reason we're having to talk about though, goddamn book.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
It's really important because it's not just us do impress
for this book, but only our whore hive can get
this done for us. We really want to get on
a bestseller's list. This for us is definitely I would
say a milestone, a stamp of what this podcast would be.
This is how you end the show y'all thought it was,
and then this is how to me, this is the

(01:52):
pinnacle of what happens. And it's like, I would love
for our podcast to even have something like that attached
to it. I haven't really seen many shows been able
to have a book that becomes a bestseller.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Maybe books end.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
Up being e books and this and that and whatever.
But this is a really big fucking deal.

Speaker 6 (02:13):
It is.

Speaker 4 (02:13):
I didn't even know what Simon and Schuster was before
you can google them, had no clue.

Speaker 5 (02:17):
I need y'all to put us in line with the
other podcasters who have been able to do it.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Shout out to Wallow, Shout out to Rashad and Troy from.

Speaker 5 (02:23):
Earn Your Leisure. I know Jesus and Marrow had a book.
All the smoke just dropped away, That's what I'm saying.
So like knowing that podcasters and their fan bases have
been able to do it, I don't think anyone is
as dedicated and committed as the whore Hive. And I
want the horre Hive to literally show up and show
the fuck out by getting us to that.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
And I think we know our episodes.

Speaker 5 (02:46):
Live on Jesus Christ Praises because we've done said so
much on this goddamn podcast. But this book will literally
live on forever beyond us. You can give it to
your children, and I really want this to be stamped
as a book that kind of everyone needs to read.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
And how you support yeah is by purchasing a pre
order book.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
So if you don't want to support Amazon because.

Speaker 6 (03:09):
Because we're not doing that right now, okay, and hey.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
If it's easier for you to one click me to
do it, I'm gonna take one.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
But we would love if you could just purchase it
from a local bookstore a place you like. If you're
in New York City, the Strand is a popular one, yes,
but just go on their website. It's going to be
the same price and you get to support indie booksellers.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
And yeah, the pre.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
Orders are really what will get us there, So please,
please please make sure you preorder this book.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
It's super juicy and you're about to find out some
search no holds barred.

Speaker 5 (03:36):
It's a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power, and y'all,
we are joined today by the way by I guess
y'all go motherfucking respect, because I know y'all like solo episodes.
But we are here with the person who actually helped
us to complete this book. So we have Tempest X
joining us in the building today to help kind of

(03:56):
guide and share what this process looked like for us.
And as you see if you are watching this on
the YouTube, Black Woman Baby and I guess we can
start there. Well, let's start with a little introduction on you, tempest.
How long have you been writing books? How long have
you ghosthroat in y'all, her name is on the book, so.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
You go through. I guess you can't talk about them
ghost I cannot.

Speaker 6 (04:21):
I cannot talk about them because I will get sued,
I know, and my name's not there, and it's just
always one name there, and I get a little salty
about that.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
No, I don't know, because I don't know what.

Speaker 4 (04:31):
Ever got like ghost writing makes you feel, though, because
I've always wondered, like you know, there's so many situations
where producers can feel like this too, a lot, yeah,
where you make something happen and you're like, damn, someone's
getting all the credit.

Speaker 6 (04:42):
I just had a big book come out, and it
was so painful not to see my name anywhere, like
and not be mentioned, and hear the person talking as
if they did it all magically on their own. Yes,
which is another reason I can't say who it is, right,

(05:02):
but it was really really painful.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Well, we couldn't afford the ghost writing.

Speaker 6 (05:05):
Price, Thank goodness, thank you. I'd rather have my name
on the book. I'll give you a discount. Let's do this.
I would rather get some credit.

Speaker 5 (05:14):
I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I think even we've
we've shared and we've said it.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
All the time.

Speaker 5 (05:19):
Mind you, this is on black published privilege, black privilege
publishing with Charlemagne, and I think that we constantly give.
I don't think this show continues on without the push
and support that we've gotten from Charlemagne. And I think
that's to be said about this book too. I think
for the direction we wanted to go with certain of

(05:40):
the chapters, how we wanted it to sound, I don't
think it gets to the completed version without you being
a part of this project. So putting your name on
the book wasn't like a hard decision. I mean, like
I wasn't mad at that, and the name is kind
of fly.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
The X really made it like h Williams be like all.

Speaker 5 (05:58):
Right, I mean Williams is still a black I still
do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Like if it was if it was something.

Speaker 6 (06:05):
With a burger at the end, I don't know if yeah,
you know, I don't think well, I don't think you
would have been interviewing me to start with.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
Then you're right, tell us like before writing, oh well,
before you started writing books and before you started helping
us write decisions not Noel's barred bad day. I really
want to know when you were reading dirty books, romantic stuff, erotica.

Speaker 6 (06:29):
Yeah, how did it pair up with my beach reads?

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (06:33):
Yes, my beach treats where I'm reading on the beach
and I'm getting really excited and my husband's.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Like yes, which, ironically the beach scene is in the book,
but like yeah, like, how do you feel like they
measure up with No holds barred?

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Because this is super juicy, Like did it feel different
reading this?

Speaker 6 (06:48):
And it feels much different reading it since I helped
to create it with you guys, But it it's actually
juicier than I thought it was going to be and
then more grounded at the same time than I thought
it was going to be, which is pretty amazing.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Like definitely more grounded than I thought too.

Speaker 6 (07:06):
That's like a huge duality, right, like juicy as hell,
but like really reflective of you guys.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
I'm glad we was able to get on the ground
and not be in a clouds. Like I love this
book and what it shows with the growth of each
of our individual journeys. Yes, but also like when we
first started this goddamn book, the chapters and stories that
we wanted changed. I had when we first started, when
I first met you, I had a boyfriend and I

(07:33):
think we were trying to put him in, like I
had these stories about being in love and then while
we're writing, I fucking break up with him and hate
him in your life.

Speaker 6 (07:40):
And Weezy didn't have.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
We had to add the love chapter.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, she didn't have. I didn't.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
It been hole scared that ended up in yep.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
I love that. Just to get dark, y'all.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
No, no, no, no, I'm not gonna say what it was. Okay,
but there was a chapter about New York that fell
short and we didn't get a lot of edits back
on it, and it was just like I think the
publisher was like, can you dig deeper?

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yes? And I know it wasn't our favorite to write,
but it was really fun.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
It was like a New York sex story and it
was just like name of my favorite places in New York.
And then I remember where it was when I wrote
that chapter, and literally Temp's called me and was like,
I am so impressed. I'm so proud of you. This
might be my favorite chapter. I'm like this, yeah, literally, Mandy.
It was crazy because it was like, if this chapter
is not good enough, what can I say about New York?

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Let's just talk about That's how I was gonna kill myself.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Like, this book is fucking nuts.

Speaker 6 (08:39):
You did tell us and you like really bared your soul.
And I'm actually pissed at myself because if I had
known that you would dig that deep when pushed and
pushed and pushed, I would have rowed your ass harder
the whole time.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
What else can I would have rowed your ass harder?
What else do we got out of this? Listen?

Speaker 3 (08:58):
We have to ride your ass chapter.

Speaker 6 (09:00):
We do have a roger ass chapter.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
N But like it really is kind of crazy when
you think about you know, just like pressure and diamond
making and type shit, you know what I mean, Like
thinking that that story was there and didn't go until
the very end. It was very, very being changed. And
I wonder if being able to go through those things.
I've been having conversations with friends, like my most successful

(09:24):
friends have really fucked up stories.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
My happiest friends went through really dark times. Of course
at least happy.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
Today and it makes me think about that. It's like
you kind of have to fail a little bit to
get gold.

Speaker 6 (09:36):
You have to know the darkness to know.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
And even my.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Breakup, like your chapters were fired even though I'm thinking
they're gonna be boyfriend related and then they're painful, but
they were so good to read because what woman hasn't
been through fucking heartbreak?

Speaker 3 (09:52):
Like that's reality.

Speaker 5 (09:53):
I do also want to make mention because I don't
think Charlemagne was pro this. Actually mentioned it after our
show at Sony Hall. He sends us our cover art
and is like, now, this would be a great book cover,
and I said, so.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
We literally had to tell.

Speaker 5 (10:11):
Charlemagne it was so intentional for our faces not to
be on the cover of this book because we didn't
want it to be like a memoir where people would
not give a fuck about these two biracial bitches if
they never heard the goddamn podcast, And.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
We wanted it to be to where any woman saw
this book, picked it up and is like, now what
is this?

Speaker 5 (10:35):
So the lips, the funness of the font, everything was
so intentional, y'all.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
We spent weeks going back and forth. I also on
this hour.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
Look would make someone think the book isn't serious. I
think when you see alternative looks, young yes, young faces
make me think I'm not going to get too much depth.
It's gonna make me think, what the fuck am I
going to learn from you? Like a manifesto?

Speaker 3 (10:58):
Like I'm not a.

Speaker 6 (10:59):
Like, like why are you writing a manifesto yet?

Speaker 3 (11:01):
But the other thing is I hated feeling like.

Speaker 4 (11:06):
Everybody makes me feel when I'm talking about horrible decisions,
like it's just these fans. And I think it's because
it's been so many years, right that I was really thinking,
like why the fuck would I write a book just
for them? These people are going to appreciate it, are
gonna love it. The world needs this book. Yeah, people
who listen to Horrible I'm grateful they found this, But

(11:27):
what about the girl that would love it that hasn't
heard it yet? Like I love when I meet someone
new eight years and it's like I just started listening
a few weeks ago and I'm like, damn, for real.

Speaker 6 (11:35):
This book is literally for every person. I can't think
of one person that is female that I know in
any age range who I wouldn't give this book to.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
You now what about the men. I'm men gonna pickure.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
I think I was gonna be bit queer, but no,
I do think men, especially our fan base, yes, it
will really appreciate this book. And I think it will
give them what this podcast has given them for eight year,
an insight on us navigating relationships with them, us navigating
our sexual bodies, and our uncomfortableness with feeling safe. I

(12:10):
think that was a big thing for me during this book.
I had an epiphany in therapy that, Wow, in talking
about my sexual assault and talking about me navigating sex
and talking about my last relationship, I haven't really felt
safe with men and navigating that, and so within like
the chapters, like, I really appreciate what this book brought

(12:32):
in the time that I needed it for my therapy journey.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, and I definitely brought that to the book.

Speaker 6 (12:38):
You literally started here and ended up in an entirely
different place.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Do you think of it?

Speaker 6 (12:44):
I mean a little bit, But that's what any good
writer does, Like, especially if you're working with other people,
you bring out the best in them, You bring out
juice of your stories. You make them feel comfortable, which
is a really big deal for a writer, like what
if you guys hated me, Like you aren't going to
tell me anything?

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh, I hold you? I got hold you.

Speaker 5 (13:02):
Me and Simpis was on the phone and I And
what makes this so different than horrible decisions too? Decisions
decisions I lean so much into my childhood. So there's
niggas I'm talking about from like middle school, and me
and Simpis are writing and.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
I'm like explaining it. I'm like, let me go find
their Facebook.

Speaker 5 (13:19):
Yes, And I'm literally pulling up Facebook pages of niggas
that I thought I loved in middle school and high school,
like nah man, but let me show you how good
he looks now.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
He was such a cute little boy.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
What's interesting, too, is it's different from gossiping about it,
because when someone's writing it with you, you kind of
do need to see it, Like we write a chapter
about this white dude who is fine. But I also
was like, I'm sitting here telling her about this white
man being fine, and I need her to understand when I.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Got on my knees like that.

Speaker 6 (13:52):
And then when I saw him, I was like, I
will get on my knees for you. And I went
home and told my husband, like.

Speaker 7 (13:58):
Hall passed, Oh yeah, I lie, I might need you
to sign an NDA because this is not a Confessions
of a Video Vixen book, but there's quite a few
celebrities within our stories.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yes, And I had to be like, timp is this
going talk about girl? Just so you understand, I'm going
to keep it.

Speaker 6 (14:14):
I'm going to keep it to myself, Like if I
can talk about books that I wrote, if I'm not
leaking that information, I'm going to do that. I'm not
gonna do it.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
What do you think was the juiciest thing from each
of us where you were like what the fuck? When
we were or so Basically how a lot of our
writing process works is we would write it out, submit
it to Tempest and she'd be like, this is how
we're making it a story, helping us edit it, just
adding some good to me, not the word transition. But

(14:44):
I feel like I was jumping around a lot, like
how did we get here?

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (14:48):
I just knew how to get words on a page
or tell a story, but it's like, okay, we need
to be.

Speaker 6 (14:52):
There had to be the thread to make it a
real threat.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Thank you?

Speaker 4 (14:54):
Yeah, what do you think we've sent to you? For
both of us, where you were like, this is crazy.

Speaker 6 (14:59):
I mean, can I say it? Because I kind of
want to keep some secrets.

Speaker 5 (15:05):
People read, well, that's okay, you no, I know, how
do you not know.

Speaker 3 (15:16):
The blood?

Speaker 5 (15:22):
But I'm pretty sure that never aired. I'm pretty sure
they edited, they waited too much to be shared with
what I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure that got cut out.

Speaker 6 (15:33):
No, yeah, that was like, oh.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
You can say it here because it wasn't on the back.

Speaker 6 (15:37):
Okay, So uh, there's a part where suddenly there was
talking of what's the name of the movie again, saltburn
saltburn blood, different kind of blood.

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Which is crazy because throughout the whole theme of this podcast,
maybe he has joked with me about loving blood or
like him because I have periods because I have period sex.
That's been our joke. Yes, the fact that it got there, I.

Speaker 6 (16:02):
Was like, I was reading it and first of all,
the chapter starts out like really lovely and like it's
about love and it's romantic and it's funny and it's cute.
And then suddenly this is happening and I was like, oh, oh,
so this is where we're at now, This is where
we're at now, and like, what about his leather interior.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
That's what I was most worried about in his that's
easy to wipe all.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
So funny is leather interiors are Actually he got the
arm and hammer, white eye.

Speaker 6 (16:28):
I was, I don't know. I didn't know that, you know.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
About what he's willing to do for love. So these
past few weeks we were in Highland, I realized he
has a very low tolerance for certain things.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
Like every day he was like, which toothbrush is mine?

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Which toothbrush is mine?

Speaker 3 (16:47):
Fine? Right?

Speaker 4 (16:47):
I don't like sharing toothbrushes either, But I was like,
at one point, did you eat my.

Speaker 1 (16:52):
Period blood and my blood?

Speaker 6 (16:55):
You ate my period blood in a car?

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Blood is different than blaque? Never? But does he like
it's metal.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
I would rather use your toothbrush than eat your period blood, right.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Oh my god, I would rather do neither.

Speaker 6 (17:11):
I don't want im plaque.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
But anyway, a good chapter name. We missed out.

Speaker 6 (17:19):
Book number two.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
But there's other ship like something with his hair. I'm like, oh,
just use lying.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
He's like, no, I'm good.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
You ain't my blood. That is crazy. That is iron,
that's crazy talks. But you know what I really.

Speaker 6 (17:35):
Think off of a plane too, right, oh, girl, disgusting
when we get it was a summer day.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
We a vampire? Was this the night? Does he come
out during the day. I've never seen him during the day. No, okay,
I'm just saying, never.

Speaker 5 (17:47):
Seen him during in the day, Like I never that
you got an old.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Vampire, nigga.

Speaker 5 (17:52):
No, he's like, he comes, see if we have to
invite him in. Y'all know you gotta invite vampire. Let's
see if he'll just open the door by his goddamn.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
It's so crazy too, because one of my homegirls calls
him a warlock because he just talks to animals really
well people do and like also people respond to him, right, Yes,
we were walking on the street and this girl literally
was like, oh my god, I love you and walked off.
When we go out, sometimes random people want to take
a picture with him, It's like, what the fuck is this?

Speaker 3 (18:21):
So my homegirl swears he's a.

Speaker 6 (18:22):
Fucking magic I guess of some sort.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
But what's that movie with both of them?

Speaker 6 (18:30):
Which one it got?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
The vampires in the Warlock? Oh?

Speaker 5 (18:33):
Yeah, and they know that only has wolves and vampires though,
right it.

Speaker 6 (18:38):
Has wear wolves and yes, so y'all have never ate
up period.

Speaker 1 (18:41):
Plus he just want to get this by the way,
that was editing camera admitting, yes, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (18:49):
Differently right now.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
I feel like Wolf has a standard of cleanliness just
because it's from the vegan shit.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
You know, thank you. I told y'all plug in the top.
I told y'all that girl.

Speaker 5 (18:59):
That that that broke up with me because she didn't
want me to be the girlfriend and the couple.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
It was. It just came on and she did eat
my pussy with a tampon it. But it had just
came on at dinner, so I was literally one hour
into my period. Yea, oh, so that is, but I
would never do that. Also would want to do it again.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
Volume two.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, it wasn't wasn't okay, It wasn't okay.

Speaker 6 (19:21):
You want to know, Mandy's my favorite thing. That was
juicy and Mandy sure that night in that hotel room
when you decided you were going to give him the
back door.

Speaker 5 (19:34):
And you were just which is crazy if you guys,
that story is actually told here on the podcast. Yes,
it's when I had the anal orgasm with twenty four seven.

Speaker 6 (19:44):
Even reading it, I was like, you felt it in
yours I was like, I want my ass to and
I did.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
And I gave detail. You know what's crazy.

Speaker 5 (19:53):
I feel like because that was a story that I did,
was able to go and like.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
Knew what had happened.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
I was able to literally transport back there to put
those words on back there. Listen, yes, by the way,
shout out to y'all as an audience. That chapter is
called you can put it back there? And it's it's
can you put it?

Speaker 6 (20:13):
And you put it?

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Can you put it back there? Have you ever seen
that clip?

Speaker 4 (20:17):
No, Vinnie was here, we were we were we were
in Harlem. We were in Harlem, so we had Vinnie on.
I think we're about to go on tour. Maybe he
was visiting me.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
I'll remember.

Speaker 4 (20:26):
But I'm making jokes with Mandy about how she says
a on once a quarter. I'm like, so, how do
you know you're ready? She goes, I let them. She
said it very matter of fact. I just think, actually,
I want you to try to put this side by
side because I think I know the cadence.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
Where's the camera this one?

Speaker 1 (20:45):
What do you mean?

Speaker 3 (20:46):
What do I do? I literally looking at my say,
you can put it back there.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
It's open for you. I just kept saying, I know
you want a bootlehole. You want to get an a
if you want to get a name, you really say
booty hole? Or is that like a horrible decision. You
can put it. You can put it back there, like
it's open.

Speaker 6 (21:00):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
You can put it back you can get it back there.

Speaker 6 (21:07):
Nobody says no, you can put back there.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
You can put it back there. You know it's open
for you. It's crazy.

Speaker 5 (21:13):
I will say this, Uh, this process, even the chapter
wasn't as much as my delivery can be kind of brashed.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
The team will know it, especially if I don't like something.

Speaker 5 (21:25):
So in the beginning of writing this book, y'all, yes,
I was so insecure about my ability to put words
to paper, words to laptop. You know, Florida education school
system always blame them, but I feel insecure about how
I form sentences, and so I let Tempest know that

(21:48):
out the gate. So I'm like, hey, let me just
tell you what I want the chapter to be. I
want it to sound like me. Though Wheezy chapter is
gonna sound like her. I want my chapters to sound
like me. And so we spent like four hours together
for our first writing session for the first chapter. We
were like, let's get our flow start. We spent four
hours together. I'm recording, she's recording. We have recording devices happening,

(22:12):
and she's walking through how I want to chronologicalize this
goddamn chapter.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
Is that a word?

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Chronologicalize? It is now?

Speaker 5 (22:20):
And so we spent four hours together. She's like, Okay,
I'm gonna take all these audio notes. We know how
we want to lay out this this chapter, and I'm
gonna write.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
I'm gonna send it to you to approven edit y'all.

Speaker 5 (22:33):
She sent me the chapter and I'm reading it and
I think I might have texted like tippus, can we
talk real quick?

Speaker 1 (22:40):
And I don't know a.

Speaker 5 (22:41):
Nice way to do? We talking for the next day.
We had a two day thing, so she comes the
next day. I make sure, Hey, what type of food
do you want? Mediterranean?

Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, I'm gonna order our lunch.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (22:53):
I got buttered up first, and I.

Speaker 5 (22:57):
Look at her because I don't know how to say
things very nicely, and I said, tempest, I fucking hate it.
And then what it sounds terrible? I said, this is
not how I like to read. Oh my god, it's
awful and y'all know what. Timpus looked at me and said, well,
I wrote it.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
How you sound.

Speaker 5 (23:15):
It's like, I sound like a fucking dummy. I said,
this reads so terribly.

Speaker 6 (23:23):
I think it was also it was also in your defense.
We didn't know each other yet, no, and you were
very like when we first started, I think all of us,
like everybody was like a little like, oh, we don't
know each other yet, we don't know what's going on.
Like so I think there was also like a nervous
energy about sharing your stories with me. So you were

(23:44):
pausing a lot. You were pausing a lot lot.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
So I was like, the bit she ended all themned sentences.

Speaker 6 (23:48):
So I had these tiny little sentences because that's how
you were saying things to me, funny. And I was like,
I hated it too, Like example, I hated it too.
It was just like and then we one here and
this period, and then this happened next period, and I
was like, I was like, that's happen.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
So she's like, okay, let me see how you write. Yes,
I need you to write this chapter. And I guess
we started with our introduction yep, and I wrote my
entire introduction beginning to end, and baby, I write with
run on sentences if you want to like, it just
goes and flows, and I want all the adjectives, all
the details to fit. I'll be like comma semi collin

(24:30):
comma comma however, comma like where I could.

Speaker 6 (24:33):
There were a couple of times I had to be
like no.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
She was like, bitch, this is three sentences.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
You know.

Speaker 4 (24:36):
We can break about the stress of turning in chapters too.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
I kind of miss writing.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
A little bit, like you do.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
There's this part of me that felt like it was
super stressful.

Speaker 4 (24:47):
Yeah, but then at the same time, I'm like, that
was kind of fun. I know, I need to talk
about that one night that I was on my knees
getting punished by Monday.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
I kind of miss it. I like it.

Speaker 6 (24:58):
I loved writing this book with you guys.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
It really fun.

Speaker 6 (25:01):
It was really fun. It ended up being really fun.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
I think it was dark times in the book. And
so I guess we should explain how this book is.

Speaker 6 (25:08):
Can I say one more thing about Mandy and her writing?

Speaker 8 (25:11):
Then?

Speaker 6 (25:12):
So Mandy writes beautifully. She sends me this chapter and
I looked at you, and what did I say? I
said that's how I naturally write. Yeah, she literally, what
the hell? Oh no, she said, I don't know if
we recorded anything else. Bitch, you're writing yep.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
And I'm going back, and I really I really enjoyed writing.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
Do you feel like, because we're both chatty and podcasters,
do you feel like we were both wordy or one
was wordier than the other.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
I think that maybe describe those styles.

Speaker 6 (25:45):
I think that the styles are totally different.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
It's like, which is great. It's like, that's why this
book can be for anybody.

Speaker 6 (25:50):
But it's like knowing you guys now right, Like I
really know you both, so you're both totally different in
real life too. So Mandy loves a sentence that I
had to chop up and be like, this is a
paragraph five sentences, like I don't know what you're thinking here,
And you love like outside of the box, like funny things,
but you also like you'll take it out of normal structure.

(26:13):
You're like, now it's like a screenplay suddenly, and now
I'm doing this, and now it's a text message and
what about this? And what about that? And that was
really really fun for me because I like to write everything.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
I really like.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
Dialogue when I'm reading, so I never thought I was
gonna write it that way, and it's not like it's
not in the other So, for example, what Temphis is
saying is like more of Mandy's dialogue.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
Is actual quotations.

Speaker 4 (26:38):
Its told how he was feeling, yes, whereas mine is
like this breaks out and I'm breaking it out line
by line, and I think, really, it's how we're telling
stories in our head. I was really trying to describe it. Also,
how people like receiving storytelling from me on Horrible.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah, So I was thinking, Okay.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Maybe I am jumping around a lot, maybe I am
this So I want to not lose so much of
the sauce, right, like you don't want to change what
works too much, And that's what I was fearful of
with writing.

Speaker 3 (27:08):
But I'm glad that no one lost it.

Speaker 6 (27:11):
No one lost it. And the greatest thing that we
heard in any of the meetings with Simon and Schuster
to me was when they were like, your voices are
so different, like I don't have to look at whose
name is at the top of this chapter to know
whose chapter this is. And that was the main thing
that I wanted to get across. I really wanted each
of your voices to come through, and I think we

(27:31):
really achieved that, and I'm so happy.

Speaker 5 (27:41):
So we start this chapter by introducing us as podcasters.
Then we break out for almost the rest of the
book in an introduction of myself, an introduction of Weezy,
and then we've broken this book into four different parts pleasure, pain, progression, power,
And I want to lean into each of those chapters,

(28:02):
or each of those segments just a little bit because
we bring about themes in this book where you do
have sex. We also included like a guide and ways
to help you kind of navigate whatever journey you're in.
And we have let me do the math, Let me
do the math six. That's eighteen. We have about eighteen

(28:22):
different stories. So even if you've never experienced a non
monogamous relationship, you've experienced a heartbreak, If you haven't experienced
sorry trigger warning. If you haven't experienced a rate, maybe
you've experienced an abortion. If you haven't experienced a thruple,

(28:43):
maybe you've experienced just a one off partner where y'all
had threesomes. I think this book literally can relate to
anybody at any time of their sexual journey and them
trying to find confidence within themselves as a woman.

Speaker 4 (28:56):
Through all of the things I think this book, and
that's why I think for men it would be good too.
It's good as a standalone like without it being a guide.
But some of the things that I haven't liked about
why this book is going to be popular. I'm not
a fan of self help or guide books. I like
the juicier storytelling thing, and so I'm glad that this

(29:19):
book has that. And I'm glad we both got what
we wanted because it really gives both. But I like
that you still don't need the guidebook if you have
it all figured out in your life and you're listening
and you're just like nobody.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Ever they are.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
Yes, these girls are a goddamn mess and they're funny
to listen to, then the book is still for you.

Speaker 5 (29:35):
I'm gonna say, even if you like housewives and like
to read the mess of other people's lives, it's all
in here like I talk about, And I think what
was great about this was me tapping into my childhood
and why I am the way I am today. So bitch,
if y'all don't understand why the fuck I'm this motherfucking
crazy with my own thoughts on relationships.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
You'll know by the end of the book.

Speaker 5 (29:55):
So I did want to lean into pleasure because we
start the book off that way, because the other has
to be fucking.

Speaker 6 (30:00):
Can we say one thing, though, Can we say that
when we did the book proposal together, we had no
idea that Simon and Schuster was going to tell us
we want a prescriptive book. And yeah, that's remember, like
we had a whole different idea. So then we did,
like we had a totally different book.

Speaker 5 (30:18):
All I know is once I knew I could write
my own chapter's therapy was going in this shit for me?
Oh yes, so to me, I don't think I would
have done a book if there wasn't.

Speaker 6 (30:27):
I think for yours would have been naturally that way.
And then I think you leaned into it at first,
kicking and screaming a little bit.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
I think I was kicking and screaming though, because no offense.
We don't have answers here, right, right, This is a
book where and I knew that going into it, and
I didn't like that. I didn't like that publishers and
people wanted us to tell people what to do.

Speaker 6 (30:54):
You know, what's interesting.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
I don't really like that.

Speaker 6 (30:56):
I think you guys have more answers than you think.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
I think we do from our own right.

Speaker 4 (31:01):
So for example, two different things, right, I would say
a Shan Boodie has the answers because she went to school,
give them to you. She knows the sign, and so
that will look like right, that's exactly what I'm trying
to say.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
But it's why we don't have MD be like we
have met.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
No, there's no and so medical and I'm brought up
Shan just now.

Speaker 4 (31:20):
It's really because I think it's been a great comp
every time someone like compares and I'm when I say someone,
it's normally when I'm talking like a TV network or
someone that just kind of like is trying to figure
out who we are. And I think what's so cool
about this book is all of our reflection, is us
learning through our own fuck up, Like this isn't something
that we were like, oh hey, yeah, we know that.

Speaker 6 (31:42):
Which is how most of us learn, right, Like, oh,
maybe I shouldn't do that again.

Speaker 4 (31:47):
So what my fear was initially with the Kicking Screams
is that I hated thinking someone could pick up this
book and felt like I was being preachy when for
a fright, yeah, and so learning how the structure ended
up coming together and seeing that it was really like

(32:08):
unfolding at the bottom of every chapter, like hey, like,
now this is what you do, almost as a horrible
decision correction. I feel like when I used to describe
horrible decisions formerly, right was basically us sharing this crazy,
wild story and kind of reflecting on what we have
done different. Maybe we were owning the whole thing, whatever

(32:29):
it was, it felt like it was coming together with
this lesson learned and the book ended up having it
and it felt so natural.

Speaker 5 (32:35):
I mean, I wanted to lean into pleasure while they're there.
I know we talked about can I put it back
there because it's not preachy. So for that chapter specifically,
I literally go chronologically from my homophobic views around anal
sex and how I literally thought anal sex were just

(32:56):
for two men, and how no woman growing up had
a really good experience about anal sex at all. It
wasn't talked about, we didn't have the sexual education around it.
So I go from literally being homophobic yep, and I
addressed my homophobia loud and clear, especially living in Atlanta
early on with these views yep. Two, then me experiencing

(33:18):
and allowing a man to have anal sex with me,
it not being enjoyable first at all, but being open
to experiencing it again, to eventually being called pegda stallion,
and going from.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Homophobia to bending Nikasova.

Speaker 5 (33:33):
So it's literally it's that type of chapter where I'm
not going to be preaching to you. I'm addressing my
own biases, my own ways of having to unlearn things,
which is I think all we've said on this pod
so long. We've all been taught so many things that
we have to unlearn, especially in order to get the
most out of sex. And so that chapter for me

(33:57):
literally leans into telling you, y'ah, I was doing research.
I was pulling out statistics and all the things because
I'm like, why are we taught this? Oh well, when
we're growing up in black communities and leaning into.

Speaker 6 (34:08):
The church, there's a strong.

Speaker 5 (34:10):
Sense of homophobia that exists, which is why antal sex
is not discussed about the pleasures that it could be.
And so it gives you like a whole thing, I
love it. Now give me antal sex, baby, Do not
make that a clip, all right? But of like experiencing
pleasures and all my holes, like if I could be
fucked in the nose.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
I probably because when your mom did our live show,
that was what she said.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Do you remember that she wants to be fucked in
all of her orfices? That's it?

Speaker 4 (34:39):
And I was like, all my orfices. But that's how
you know her mom's in the medical field. She said,
I'll never forget that. I was like, oh my god,
in every orfice maybe that was so.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (34:50):
So like that chapter for me was one we wrote
that one fairly quickly. Yeah, we did that was it
wasn't until we had to get like a little deeper,
barely got edited.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
No, that one. And then ironically, so the next way
that you felt about it, they were like yeah too.

Speaker 5 (35:06):
They were like, oh, the next segment that I kind
of want to lean into because what's crazy is we
started with pain and was like, we can't start the
book off this way.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
Right, so pain is our second Well.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Wait, wait, I do want to talk about my pleasure chapters?

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh? I thought we did that with the blood. No,
that's okay.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
So what's crazy about the pleasure chapters for me was
I was digging into sex stories and two out of
three of them were about a woman like m HM
arts and craft, and I remember thinking to myself, and
this didn't come out until the end of the book.
I was like, Oh, why do you think I need
to talk about her in this one? And you're like,

(35:42):
will you bring her up in every chapter?

Speaker 1 (35:43):
Yeah? You do.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
And there was so much that I didn't realize shaped
my pleasure, sensory anything. The way I see sex, the
way I have sex, my intimacy, the emotionalness of everything
that I do was because of the attraction to women.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Yeah, it was so gay. At one point, I thank
you for helping.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Well.

Speaker 6 (36:01):
Scissors is outside of YouTube. She's my favorite other character
that's in here because she really taught you about love.
She really has to come to New York City, and
I think that, Uh, I don't know that you realize
that until you started writing all this, And then I
was like, why Scissors in every chapter.

Speaker 4 (36:20):
There's a letter I write to her? Yeah, in the book,
because you told me that. Yes, she basically tempests. When
I said she was saying to me like, yes, like
this is how you know how to love. I was like, damn,
Like there's an apology that needs happened here.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
Anna, thank you.

Speaker 4 (36:36):
Yeah, because sometimes there's moments where I talk about her
on this podcast where I don't think I give her
enough credit because the throut bullshit was so exciting for
everybody to hear about that. You really almost didn't understand
how serious and how loving this central relationship was, yes,
and the healthiness of it too. I'm talking about bringing

(36:59):
people in a space. Mandy and I both sex clubs
and just exploring with partners. That was the first healthy
like let's bring someone in.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Yes.

Speaker 6 (37:08):
I couldn't even even how sweet you guys were to
each other, getting ready and so excited and like fixing
each other's wigs and like it's my wig on straight,
Like yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
That ship was crazy, Like I just did not think so.

Speaker 4 (37:20):
Yeah when Mandy said it's for queer people, the pleasure
is very gay.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Pleasure is fun. Pleasure is where I.

Speaker 5 (37:27):
Find the couple in Mexico. So that story from the
podcast made.

Speaker 6 (37:33):
It in Now my husband keeps asking me when we
can have.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
We all going to Mexico. He's like, he's like to.

Speaker 6 (37:41):
Have a unicorn experience. I'm like, no, boom.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Did he ever know?

Speaker 3 (37:46):
Did he ever like fully read a chapter with you?

Speaker 6 (37:48):
I would read it to him as I was working,
and he would be like, just did oh I know
he was warning he was he was like, they already
know what to do. He wouldn't say all that. I'd
be like, like my little sisters.

Speaker 5 (38:05):
So after the pleasure segment we go to pain, yes,
and it was really important for us to not make
pain all about hurt yep. And so this is where
we're able to tie in the element of BDSM because
there's there's also pleasure and pain sometimes there is. So
we do add a trigger warning at the top of
this book because, like I said, there are elements of

(38:27):
sexual assault and abortion and heartbreak and all the things
that could trigger somebody in.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
This book really like I think my three were a
BDSM pain, literal sexual violence like violent rape scene, and
then fucking heartbreak.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
And it was like, yo, I don't think that anything
in this Pickton.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
Chapter that anyone, even male, can't relate to true because
it's so fucking common. And what we did in the
book that I was kind of like, ah, is this
really gonna hit But it did was we started putting
stats in there, like how calm and what's happening to me?

Speaker 1 (39:02):
One in four women like it's crazy.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
It is even when it comes to the psyche, just
using little things we found online through surveys or whatever,
like figuring out what heartbreak does to your body or brain.
I just was so impressed with. I think pain is
my favorite section of.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
The book because it's kind of hot, but it also
makes me cry.

Speaker 5 (39:22):
Pain has the two chapters I'm most proud of, like
that I went through the quickest. So my abortion chapter
and my sexual assault chapter.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
What's crazy is it took me.

Speaker 5 (39:32):
It was harder for me to write chapters with my
ex Yes, it because I was going through that heartbreak presently. Yes,
But the chapters about my sexual assault and the abortion,
I wrote those the quickest. But I would say the
abortion chapter brought the most emotion. Yes, because I had

(39:53):
not spoken to my mom since my abortion about my
abortion or your friend or my friend that paid for
my So during this process, I interviewed people, So I
hit up my friends from middle school in high school,
I interviewed my mom, I recorded my therapy sessions, and
I literally had to talk to my mom for the

(40:14):
first time in seventeen years about this abortion that literally
got swept under the rug once it got done it,
that's it, right, And we had never talked about it again.
And I literally had to call her to get her
feelings about me going into her room right before work
with a positive pregnancy test, and I literally add that

(40:36):
I pissed out a Kroger down the street. Like so,
I put all these details in and shout out to
my good friend Keta.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
I ended up letting her know I want to write
this book.

Speaker 5 (40:46):
I need permission because she used her cold stone check
to pay for my abortion because my mom.

Speaker 6 (40:52):
You guys weren't even close friends.

Speaker 5 (40:53):
We weren't even that close to friends then, and her
dad had just passed, so she was helping to pay
the bills in her house like so to hear her
and for both of us to like cry and literally
having to go back. And every time I talk about this,
I get an interia because it's like wow, like for
what that meant in my life, needing that to happen,
to literally know that I'm this cold hearted person to

(41:17):
never even talk about how it impacted them.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
At that moment, my mom.

Speaker 5 (41:20):
Showed up, my best friend showed up, We fucking pulled
out the vacuum.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
It was done.

Speaker 5 (41:25):
I'm not a mother we could move on with our lives.
But I had never like sat with them to ask
them what helping me make that decision meant to them.
And I have a whole chapter literally about that, and
that was like that that meant a lot for me
to kind of close that chapter with with writing this chapter.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, it was great. So that one was good to
see one of.

Speaker 6 (41:49):
Your best chapters.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
That one I kind of already knew how I was.

Speaker 4 (41:53):
The chapter of mine. My favorite of yours is that one.
That was my favor for sure, but it was so
early on you wrote it that I.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Was like, I did write it early on.

Speaker 4 (42:03):
I was like, maybe something else will get me, but
that was actually it's really good.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (42:13):
I think the one that was the best written, the
worst story but to me felt more like my stories
was your sexual assault chapter. I thought, I thought that
the details in it, I think it took me on
more of an emotional journey than your other Your other
chapters just seemed like fun and more present, I think

(42:35):
because that was something that happened that pain.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
Because the love chapter is the only one that brings
me the most pain because of the recent thing that
happened to it.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
I actually felt like that story.

Speaker 6 (42:46):
Well, yeah, but nobody, Yeah, we didn't see that coming.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
But like, yeah, that I guess.

Speaker 4 (42:52):
The sexual assault chapter for me, walking through that night
is so dark. But I've luckily, and just so many
people don't have this, I've been able to like truly
heal from it. It still makes you cry, it's yeah, but
I've forgiven.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
Myself for it.

Speaker 4 (43:10):
There was a lot of nights where I was like, well,
in my story, I already had sex with this person before.
So when I used to get upset about it, I
felt like nobody would resonate with it because they're like,
that makes.

Speaker 6 (43:22):
It worse to me, that makes it infinitely worse.

Speaker 4 (43:26):
We think when we're reading something violent like that it's
some guy in a ali that you didn't know.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
That like attacks you.

Speaker 4 (43:31):
Yeah, like you said, you think it's worse when it's
someone you know. I feel like there wasn't really empathy
for me my whole life from people because I knew yeah, and.

Speaker 6 (43:40):
Because I think also the woman at the counter, oh.

Speaker 5 (43:44):
Oh yeah, the hotel to me, that's what I'm saying.
I think that one was the most narrative. Yes, Like
I think the other chapters, you go through your feelings
and there's little moments and pockets with the dialogue between
you and these people that to me felt the most emotional,
like that one I I think I told Tempest. I
was like, bro, I just read that chapter. I said

(44:04):
that chapter good as fucking I shouldn't say it because
it's about what it's about, but I was like that
that I literally told her.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
I said, that was such a strong qua. It's fucked up,
it is fucked up.

Speaker 4 (44:13):
But that abortion in the race stories are better than
the anal, Like, it's crazy.

Speaker 5 (44:18):
It's different, it's different, it's different. You're going to be
on a fucking emotional roller coaster with this book. But
I think that because I loved what my Unicorn in
Mexico story ended up being. Mind you told completely in
a different way what happened to place. But the lens
that I tell the story is completely different than the

(44:38):
lens that I shared it here, which was really important
for me.

Speaker 4 (44:41):
We actually didn't tell I think that's interesting because like
they were telling us, the publisher was saying a mixture
of stories people knew about us, but don't know even
the stories that you do. It's like, oh, like I
knew that Mexico story be like, ah, but you didn't
know all of it, reading things like from a different way,

(45:03):
like it's so and we can only deliver stories a
certain way on here.

Speaker 6 (45:07):
I think that is the thing about podcasting the Mexico story.
For me, it's the internal dialogue that you're having with yourself.
It's how you're trying to free yourself. Is try how
you're letting yourself just be because there's no one around it.

Speaker 5 (45:20):
And removing yourself. I think one of the biggest lessons
or why I like that chapter so much, not only
the story, but it literally is the fact that other
people's opinions and the perception of other people keep us
from exploring ourselves very much, which is what the theme
of that chapter ends up being. I literally go to
thinking like, if I was here with even my best friend,

(45:42):
would you would I have left her to be with
a couple. If I was with someone that even was
just an associate, would I want them to know that
I did this if they were here, so I wouldn't
do it? Like literally diving into the ways in which
so many ways in which we show up in our
dating life, in the bedroom room, in how we navigate
sex and partnerships, is through the lens of what everyone

(46:04):
may fucking.

Speaker 6 (46:05):
Think, and the fact that these two strangers treated you
better than my lovers that you had just been with,
that I had just broken up.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
I was just going to bring this up.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
I had sex with someone with my partner on vacation
and the girl's friend called her and I was like,
oh my god, your friend's making sure you're not getting murdered.
To call her back and she was like, I'm fling
with a woman. She was like, I'm feeling good right now.
It's not like I went home with some guy. And
I was like, yo, I never realized that sometimes it's

(46:38):
the woman connection that makes us feel safer.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
Yes, Like when she said.

Speaker 4 (46:43):
It, she was joking and I was like, oh no,
that kind of tracks yeah, because it's funny because the
man in that situation, I remember him feeling when it
all happened.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
He felt manipulated. He said, you, bitch just planned this.

Speaker 6 (46:54):
He thought it was He said, there's no way they
did not happen.

Speaker 5 (46:57):
He said, this did not happen. Y'all knew each other before, bitch,
you knew to come up with the plan this. He
almost didn't even believe this could happen so naturally.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
Yeah, I do believe that story, like it's so it's
the way everybody wants a threesome happened.

Speaker 8 (47:14):
Yes, oh yeah, like you know what I mean, like
perfect imagine there was tequila and everybody was hot, and
then we did and then we fucking beach club hopped,
went back to the hotel, ram the jacuzzie, fucked in
the shower, had dinner that night.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
I had today the island.

Speaker 5 (47:29):
Together the next day and set her ass on a
ferry back to the mainland.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Like it was, it was great.

Speaker 5 (47:35):
What was your I guess what was your toughest moment
within the pain section of this book before we get
the progression.

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Yeah, like I said, not the assault chapter.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
For me, it was heartbreak. It was a heartbreak. Heartbreak
was bad for me because.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
I there was so many flaws and so much accountability
I had to take in that heartbreak.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Yes, you really say, and you really was acting like
but it was.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
And that's the thing, right am I acting like it
wasn't bad or did I just think?

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Do you normal?

Speaker 2 (48:12):
No?

Speaker 6 (48:13):
But do you remember that I literally had to make
you ReadWrite part of it, yes, because I was like, Okay,
I'm reading this and this guy sounds horrible, but I
was making and you were like, he's fine, it wasn't
so bad. I was like, this is this sucks, Like
I hate this person. You said you hated him, Yeah,
I do hate him.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Oh but it's.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Like what tell mer feeling was something I couldn't see.

Speaker 6 (48:36):
No, you couldn't. I did not, And she just kind
of turning all these words about like he wasn't so bad,
and like that's why I say, you know, I think
she brought it.

Speaker 5 (48:43):
Up on Patreon. I was like audience four years because
that nigga sounds awful.

Speaker 4 (48:48):
But I wasn't lying because by right, so that was
something that was discovering the book. I wasn't lying because
I really did think it was fine.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
He was nut.

Speaker 5 (49:00):
Here's the thing, Well, y'all really actually were gonna sell
a book with this chapter. When y'all get to hear,
well Obay was really fucking doing it was and how
this bitch was like telling herself it was okay because
of just other factors.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
This still didn't make him a great partner, but it
wasn't y'all I had or hive gonna eat. This chapter
was the depth.

Speaker 6 (49:20):
It was horrible.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
You know how I knew it was really bad?

Speaker 3 (49:23):
How when I read? I read every chapter out loud
to my partner.

Speaker 4 (49:28):
When I was reading that chapter, he goes, you had
sex to him and then turned over and cried.

Speaker 5 (49:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:34):
You were like, he was like what.

Speaker 6 (49:37):
Yes, yeah, And I was like it was such a
reflex the fact that you had to spy on him
all the time to know what was actually happening.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (49:45):
Girl, I was so addicted. It was almost like it
wasn't my life anymore.

Speaker 5 (49:48):
I think, you know what, like me, let's just blame
the pandemic. It was in the air, you know, five
g excuse today?

Speaker 8 (49:55):
You know what?

Speaker 4 (49:56):
Actually never said publicly, and I don't know who I
mentioned in the book, Dave knows. I really feel that
bad about what I was doing because I had a
side nigga, Oh.

Speaker 5 (50:10):
Are you cheating on him the whole time? Look at
even so we.

Speaker 6 (50:17):
Got to rewrite the chapter.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
No no, no, no bait about I'm gonna give y'all this team.

Speaker 4 (50:24):
I didn't cheat on him the whole time, just the
right towards the end of the relationship. There you came
this point where I was like, I'm totally checked out.
I hate this guy. I've already read it out my
crib in New York. We have a nice place in Mexico.
We don't hate each other.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
I'm gonna find love somewhere else.

Speaker 6 (50:43):
You see my face.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
I feel like I know who the side nigga was.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
Don't even say it because I had my own man
and I have my boyfriend. I know who say anything
and do?

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Can we bleep it out and I'm gonna.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Cover on out.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
We're gonna bleep it out.

Speaker 5 (50:56):
All No, No, yeah, you was, That's why you kept
He was like, I'm in LA for work.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
No, but you're getting dick.

Speaker 5 (51:07):
Your nigga lives in New York. She was like, yeah,
I'm in l A at my other house. The weather's
night's out here. No, bitch, you're getting dick from that.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
You actually like that? Ain't disrespecting?

Speaker 6 (51:17):
Yes, and I'm I'm supporting it.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
I picked up on the overlap though. I was like,
came right into the picture.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
Well, no, he wasn't my side nig until we broke up.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Okay, he was just right. Wait, he was right there. Yeah.
Let me tell you, some woman is laughing.

Speaker 5 (51:36):
Well, you wove sat in this goddamn studio for four
years hearing about you crying over this nigga. For you
to be cheating on this thing, never heard she was
acting like he's perfect.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
He was the last we have a damn chapter. Gonna
eat this chapter. But it wasn't about It wasn't until
the end.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
That's why it wasn't really relevant.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
But I also was.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
Just like to say, one thing, what you know, I
not cheat on him for my.

Speaker 5 (52:03):
Honestly, the fact that he was making you go insane
and then you still try to save him at the
end of the chapter, like you still tried to make
it seem like but he was fine, he had money,
he was a god.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Tell him.

Speaker 5 (52:14):
I felt bad and it was like, not you trying
to say this nigga was a great guy.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
Yeah, last three weeks of our relationship. He was out
in Brooklyn. One night I was with Alex and I
wanted to bring Alex around this other guy was fucking
and Ope.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
Hit me like where are you at? And Alex was like,
you're gonna go make me look at him right now.
You are gonna make.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
Me have trincks with both days, I guess in an hour.
And I was like, what is big deal?

Speaker 3 (52:34):
I'm gonna break up for them one day, break up
with him one day is.

Speaker 6 (52:37):
We had a your first date sucked?

Speaker 7 (52:40):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (52:40):
I know even that from the first date.

Speaker 6 (52:42):
The first date, I was like, run.

Speaker 3 (52:44):
You know what, I will say this, it's a little bit.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
Maybe there's a parallel here.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
I don't ever feel like I need a man to
have a certain lifestyle. However, there was something about our
similarities and how he liked having the same life. They
made me think I can fix this other shit.

Speaker 6 (53:04):
You do this thing all the time where you're the
wing woman in a relationship. Tell me more like you
the m from woolf Is this good?

Speaker 8 (53:14):
No?

Speaker 1 (53:14):
I really know.

Speaker 6 (53:15):
So even in the relationship that you had with your
sugar daddy, right, like, that's why he was the one
Like you went out with him, you had fun, you partied,
you had the best time, and you're like the fun person. Yeah,
and that's what you did with old Bay too.

Speaker 4 (53:29):
I feel like I don't think I had a relationship
where I wasn't the fun girl anymore until right now
and with scissors. Yeah, And it's hitting me now because
when things get dark, I'm feeling guilty.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
And why they.

Speaker 3 (53:43):
Say, oh, my god, I'm so sorry. I can't give this.
I can't give that, and they're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 6 (53:47):
Like a real relationship, you get to be all of
the versions of you.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
I may love you have.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
A real relationship with old Bay. I just had a coast.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
You were the wing woman, but it didn't feel like
it because I was like, oh, these boxes are checked,
and I think so many people are gonna read this
chapter and be like, this is my relationship, right, Yeah, definitely,
I hope not.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
I'm sorry, guys, I'm afray.

Speaker 6 (54:15):
You guys shoot yourselves better.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Whose X do you think it's gonna hit them first?

Speaker 3 (54:17):
After this book?

Speaker 5 (54:19):
So you know, when I ran into my ex at
the funeral over the summer, I let him know that
he was in the chapters, and I actually let him know.
I love how I healed through this because he's not
in there half as much as he was in the beginning.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
He was he was going to be in each section.

Speaker 5 (54:34):
He has maybe three mentions throughout the book, and he
has one chapter and the one chapter is my last chapter.

Speaker 6 (54:40):
There many of the chapters that we thought were going
to be centered around him him came about and let.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Me say, everybody listening to his show, said, thank god.

Speaker 5 (54:48):
Thank god he has he has really one full chapter
and it ties into so progression is our last last chapter?

Speaker 6 (54:56):
And can I say progression is my favorite?

Speaker 1 (54:58):
Progression might be my favorite regressions.

Speaker 5 (55:00):
However, when I read it, I'm like, you dumb bitch,
So I call myself you dumb bitch. You're dumb bitch
all throughout this chapter. So the themes within this chapter
are me being a side chick. Yep, I'm like I
had to sex work and my views around using my
pussy as a means to pay rent and live Alivish.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
Stop after names for a progression just for fun? Old
on what was my last and my relationship with my heartbreak?
So it says, what's your price for Mandy? Then why
get persons when you can get a stock portfolio for Wheezy?
Why do married men treat you better by Mandy? That's
the Sad Chicks tea.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
Yeah, does love show up when you aren't looking? Wheezy?
Why do you need me to need you?

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Mandy?

Speaker 3 (55:44):
And then if nine million people are here, why do
I feel alone? Wheezy? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (55:47):
I guess that was why do you need me to
need you? I? Yeah, I recently did. I had to
go through the entire book again, and it was interesting
because it's been a little while. Yeah, and I literally
I like wrote to Mandy and was like, I'm crying,
like I'm reading your chapter right now. Yeah, and I'm crying,

(56:10):
like the part where you get go to his truck,
Like it was so on my fucking window with my
ring and we're crying outside, and like I was like, oh,
I felt like I was going through.

Speaker 4 (56:21):
So crazy because all of this happened in the middle
of the book, literally in the middle of the book,
and the why do I need you to need me?

Speaker 5 (56:27):
Goes into my my my need to disassociate with word
with need and myself and value that I associated with
sex and men, and so the fact that he needed
me to need him pissed me off so much because
I was like, niaga, I want you, I don't need you. Yes,
And the book literally goes through the shame I experienced

(56:49):
with what I've done with men in the past, where
I actually did need them to pay a bill, to
get through school, to do to.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
Get on a plane.

Speaker 6 (56:56):
Well, it's the fact that he also used that against.

Speaker 5 (56:58):
Oh, he used it against me real bad, so that
and so to me that that chapter was the hardest
one for us to get through. I sat on that
until the very end.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
That was that was the last chapter I wrote.

Speaker 6 (57:13):
Yeah, you were like, I don't. I was like, you
can do it, but you.

Speaker 5 (57:15):
Know what's crazy universe When I saw him, Yep, that's
when I knew I needed to add our last text message.
So the chapter even becomes a little bit about closure
and me finding just the power, which is why it's
the last chapter in the book for me. The power
to feel safe within myself, to know that I can

(57:37):
be with someone I want, that I don't need partnership,
that I actually love myself, that I'm confident, that I'm secure,
that I'm financially able to just exist and and experience
all that life has to give without the association or
attachment to a man because he makes some money.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
So it was great. That was that was a great chapter.

Speaker 6 (57:55):
Your three stories there like really take you through the
entire journey.

Speaker 4 (57:59):
And I feel like money talking the book actually about
men and money.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
Yeah, I feel like as.

Speaker 4 (58:04):
To women that have don't need it now, it was
interesting to go in yeah and like see, you know
it's crazy. Actually just made me think when I read
the Sugar Daddy chapter to my partner, he was like,
I feel like he was oddly turned on because he
felt like he was hearing about this other person.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
He was like, Yo, this is fucking like, what's wrong
with you?

Speaker 4 (58:28):
That's kind of nasty, Like you wanted to fuck this
niggat and he didn't require you to fuck him.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
I'm like, yeah, it was just hot to do it.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
But I think that's also obviously from a privileged place, right, Like, yes,
I got to have this Sugar Daddy experience of there's
two types, right, Like I've fucked somebody for money because
I needed to pay my rent, and then I moved
to New York wanted extra and like was this girl
that was kind of like having this very TV experience.

(59:01):
That's what my brain was like. When he would come,
he would come on this private plane, it was his.
He would come over, take me shopping. It was just
this thing, and.

Speaker 6 (59:09):
I was like it was like being in a TV show.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
And then it started to hit me like Okay, but
I need to do this when he's gone, Like I
need to be like this, I need to be this.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Man with you.

Speaker 6 (59:19):
You want to be him?

Speaker 4 (59:20):
Right? I want and that was something I wrote, I
want to be you like, yeah, I don't know if
a lot of women get to have that experience within
a sugardaddy, because we're not always treated right by men
that are paying for sex. A lot of sex workers
not treated right but being spoiled by him.

Speaker 3 (59:34):
It did the opposite to me. Did not make me
want to be my mother, didn't make me want to
be a housewife. I was like, I gotta get rich.

Speaker 4 (59:40):
It made you driven, like it's crazy because I don't
know if anyone else has this experience. But I was
flying home and I got first class and I literally
said to myself, I will never like not on manifestation.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
Shit, this is it. I will never fucking fly economy
again for twenty hours. I won't.

Speaker 4 (01:00:00):
I don't need to, I don't need to take the trip.
This is my life. This is how I'm going to
live my life. Yes, And a lot of my friends
said to me recently, like, yo, you say this even
when it's not happening. I took a flight with one
of my friends to like some one of them small
countries in between Europe. We were on the back of
the plane and he said, you know, the whole time,
you were like, this isn't even high lived, This isn't

(01:00:21):
gonna happen on the next one, This is not gonna
happen to me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
This ain't me, nigga, this is a moment.

Speaker 4 (01:00:25):
And I was like, yo, I really said that. He's like, yes,
And I love that. In this book.

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
There's a lot of good talking to yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Yes, you really get to have that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
There's a lot of pain, but there's a lot of
cheers in yourself. You'll smile a lot when reading a
bad story or through a heartbreak because you're like, yeah, bitch,
like you got to get through that. And I liked
some of these girl power themes that weren't on purpose.

Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
They weren't on purpose at they weren't on purpose, but
we definitely cheered ourselves on.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Yeah, like, bitch, you could do better than that. Yes, bitch,
you got this.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
Yeah it's the inner voice shit.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
And yes, I call myself bitch all the time.

Speaker 6 (01:01:00):
Yes you do.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
I like, but you did it.

Speaker 6 (01:01:04):
And you'll tell people you're not gonna like this.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
But but what it is. But no, we're really excited
for you guys to join us. At the end, we
come together yet again to talk about what power means
to us and how you can make sure you and
still power within yourself. So it's literally a fool literally
from start to finish, an emotional roller coaster of.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
Love, sucks and violence. But no, but yeah, it's it's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
That just it really hit me in a pleasure chapter
talking about the first Thanks too easy.

Speaker 5 (01:01:41):
It's more queer than it would have been. It's just
the baby I talk about all all these niggas. The
only woman is the unicorn story in Mexico for me.
But y'all know, I just fuck bitches.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
I don't really.

Speaker 6 (01:01:53):
You're not looking for love there?

Speaker 5 (01:01:54):
Yeah, I wasn't really looking for love. But it's just great.
It's great.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
And with crazy is the people that actually have been
the most present over the last decade to decade and
a half. Very minimal cameos in this book.

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
Like if you're a listener of this of this podcast,
I think you would think every chapter would have a
twenty four to seven, a toy friend, a lawyer, Bay,
those are maybe my top three.

Speaker 6 (01:02:25):
No, No, it's about you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Was what I used to call your toy.

Speaker 5 (01:02:28):
Friend, was my ex toy friend, was my right and
he's not in there. Like, but the one chapter and
maybe I mentioned our one visit to the dungeon. I
broke down, that's all. It's all about me and community
that I found in New York twenty four to seven
is only the anal sex story.

Speaker 6 (01:02:46):
Yeah, and you're just using him there.

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
I think crazy knowing that a lot of yeah, a
lot of the people in his book like especially, but
I'm thinking just because you said Scissors besides does maybe
her and my partner I've never met.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
Oh, you haven't met him either. Here in New York
date needs to have both of them.

Speaker 6 (01:03:06):
I'm so excited because wait, have who here? Scissors and
her man need to be there?

Speaker 5 (01:03:13):
Yeah three, y'all ain't me and none of my niggas,
nobody in the book coming. Maybe my mom, my best
friend want to meet you. I might bring Keita, who
helped pay for my abortions, want to meet in person.
Y'all are not meeting any of my lovers ever, Like
I'm scared to go to this premiere with my boyfriend now,
like nigga, what if we have a getdy and this
is instilled in the internet forever?

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Like I am scared to be published.

Speaker 6 (01:03:35):
I mean the person I'm living vicariously through you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Yeah, my boyfriend, me and my me and me. You
love a fucking side story.

Speaker 5 (01:03:42):
When we went to lunch after we did the Simon
and Schuster and he called me with his accent and
she was like that accent.

Speaker 6 (01:03:48):
You know what British with this?

Speaker 3 (01:03:51):
The story you like the most was a British guy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Man. You might have a little teen you have a
team for a little britt man.

Speaker 6 (01:03:58):
I'm obsessed with David Bowie, like since I was eight
years old.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
I understand.

Speaker 6 (01:04:03):
Okay, that's my husband.

Speaker 1 (01:04:05):
That might be what it is. That might be what
it is.

Speaker 6 (01:04:07):
That's part of it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
We know what your next role play need to be.
He can sorry, y'all speak Cockney.

Speaker 5 (01:04:14):
Well, y'all, we need you to help us become New
York Times bestsellers by pre ordering this book that comes
out June twenty fourth, twenty twenty five. We will be
announcing our book tour soon. We will be coming to
as many cities near you. So motherfucker talk about this
book to put on a hell of a show. But
make sure again independent bookstores, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, wherever
you need to purchase this book, make sure you go

(01:04:37):
no holds barred a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
I'm gonna write this down.

Speaker 4 (01:04:41):
To We also are going to include a list of
black bookstores just even if it's not in your area.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
We're gonna have this list. We're gonna have it for
you on Patreon.

Speaker 5 (01:04:48):
Yeah, and we're about to write this as a script
because I love that y'all been. I love that y'all
been motherfucking putting in the comments. How y'all feel away
that motherfucker is Charlemagne ain't been talking about us.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
On the Brilliant Idiots. So we go make sure that
y'all had that motherfucker and.

Speaker 6 (01:05:02):
Tell them to keep their receipts because lots of oh.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
Yeah, we got a statives coming for y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:05:07):
Oh duh, yes, yes we do.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:05:11):
By the way, I know, I keep looking at the
wrong wide. Maybe they could see our will as a fuck.
Maybe if I look crossied, it doesn't matter. I got
a nigga now, so they gonna be like this cross.
I hope my nigga like you anyway. Anyways, Also, we
wait which one we will have presents as well. We

(01:05:31):
will be at the Black Effect Festival for twenty six
in Atlanta, Georgia, where we will be having also wait
for you to order the book there. We have an
incentive there for you as well. But this year we
are hosting the motherfucking Black Effect Festival.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
We are there for eight hours.

Speaker 5 (01:05:48):
We're there the whole day. Maybe I don't know why
we ain't negotiate more. That's a full motherfucking day.

Speaker 6 (01:05:52):
Can I come come on home?

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
Yes, come on day. Yeah, we'll be Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:05:57):
I believe we're making it to where if you do
a pre order book, we're giving you a bookmark and
a sign poster, so that'll be present you get to
meet us. But baby, you don't get to meet us
unless you pre order book. Ain't gona hold You'm gonna
be like, show up.

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
How to you baby? Pre order this goddamn book?

Speaker 6 (01:06:11):
No bar, you're NFS best seller.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
Here we go speaking it into existing.

Speaker 4 (01:06:16):
Come on, just like last see, I don't live like this.
I'm only in the best sellers now y'all got.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Star and then mooning around here. Anyways, Thank you guys
so much.

Speaker 5 (01:06:24):
This has been a special episode of Decisions, Decisions, and again, if.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
You're a Horror Hove member, do what it does. Twenty
nine ninety nine.

Speaker 5 (01:06:31):
Get y'all motherfucking book now, and we're excited to see
y'all on the road this summer tempest.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
Say by to them.

Speaker 6 (01:06:37):
Sorry, I know I'm still fucking okay. Why would every
one by lean