February 19, 2025 • 18 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Or a terrible throffle, guess what You've got decisions?
Speaker 4 (00:13):
All right, y'all, we are back again giving you decisions,
because you've got decisions. If you make If you guys
want to have Weezy and I answer your questions, make
sure you shoot us over and email Hyne Decisions pod
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Now, this advice may be good or it may not be,
but we're gonna give it to you.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Either way, we're gonna we gonna listen. We are giving
you what we got. That's it, and it's bad. I'm
just a podcaster, that's it. Do not take this as
what is it when your therapist give you advice that
all of that, Like, this is not healthcare advice or what.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I don't fuck it?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
What's this bitch one?
Speaker 5 (00:53):
All right?
Speaker 4 (00:54):
So y'all, this week we are talking about the possibility
of outgrowing relationships.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Uh so, here we go.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Question is have I outgrown my relationship? Hey, Ma, Andy
and Weezy, I love you guys so much, but I
boom So I've been with my boyfriend since I was
eighteen and I really love him, but lately I feel
like I'm outgrowing the relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm twenty six now and finding that I.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Want more from life to go out, explore and build
something meaningful together. While he's kind, loyal, debatable and loves
me deeply, he lacks motivation and often puts things off,
like plans to go to the gym or doing activities
together when I ask. Most of our time together has
been spent smoking and talking with very few dates since
(01:39):
he spends a lot of his money on weed, and honestly,
I'm over smoking too. It is always last when we're together,
and I feel like we are so comfortable together and
have turned into family. But honestly, I realize it's been
years and years of the same routine with him. Even
the sex has faded away sort of. He gets frustrated
when we go a while without sex. He tries to
(02:00):
be chill about it and asks if it's him, but
I never know what to really say. But I feel
like I'm never in the mood because there's not much happening. Then,
when I recommend stuff for us to do, he agrees
and says we will, but we rarely do. Sometimes I
feel like I'm being difficult, but I don't know. I
asked him if he's went and had sex with anyone else,
and he admitted that he did. This actually didn't make
(02:23):
me mad because I know it's just because we haven't
been having sex. But should this be my time to exit?
I'm in a dilemma because I really do love him.
He feels like family. Recently, I reconnected with an old
friend who has qualities I wish my boyfriend had. He's responsible,
driven and active. Being around him makes me realize what
(02:44):
I might be missing out on. He's also about to
be moving back out where I live, and I honestly
want to get into his skin so badly. I feel
guilty for wanting more because I know my boyfriend is
committed and loves me, bitch. He also is all right,
but part of me wonders if it's time to move on.
How should I handle this conversation with my boyfriend? And
(03:05):
do you think it's right to step out?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes? I love y'all. Thank y'all in advance.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
There's a lot of things about this I want you
to start, but what I would like to say is
you're confused, but you type that whole thing up, girl,
And what I will say is, if you're at the
point where your paragraphs into a podcast, there's some bitches
to talk about sex.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
But you know you've far gone, you noticed a relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Far gone, and you also know that like when the
doubt is that heavy, you're really just writing this because
you just want us to tell you it's okay to go,
But go ahead.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
No, I believe that too. I think it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Saying that he's a great boyfriend but also cheated on you,
whether he admitted to it or not, Like he has
already stepped out, so to me, a few things can
happen here, right, Like I think on decisions, decisions, the
conversation is leaning more into what a non traditional relationship
could look like. So the fact that he stepped out
and it didn't even make you upset because you weren't
(04:03):
giving him sex, but you have the desire to have
sex with someone else. Of course, I'm always going to say,
start there, see how you can navigate a relationship where
maybe you both are open to getting the things you
want from someone else, knowing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
That you guys still have love for each other. Right.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Secondly, however, you wanting to do more and him being
in the same space he was probably in when y'all
met at eighteen. You guys have been together for eight
years since you were eighteen, you're now twenty six. I
think that it's okay to notice that you're I wouldn't
say outgrowing, but changing. Change is okay, and change is
expected in a relationship. So I think that's the first
(04:38):
thing you should have a conversation with your boyfriend about.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Hey, I want to do these things. I bring them up,
we don't do them. Hey, I know.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
You like getting high, I don't really like smoking anymore,
And I think you bring up the things that you
do enjoy doing to see if you and him can
enjoy these new things together.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't think that you should leave him, don't.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I will never tell you to cheat, but I think
you have to have a real conversation with him about
how the relationship could maybe mold into looking differently, especially
if you're not mad that he stepped out and he
admitted it like as if he was expecting you not
to be mad.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
So ID lean that way first, and.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Then maybe find someone else that you could have that
fun with if you still really love being with this man.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
The problem is like even questioning, oh is it okay
if I step out? It's like you only want to
do it just because the motherfucker did it, and then
you really have this thing of now you're the one
who hasn't. I think that's when a lot of people
start talking about stepping out.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
It doesn't sound like even she wants to step out
because he wants. She asked that, yeah, no, no, she
asked if she should step out. But it doesn't sound
like she wants to get back. It sounds like I've
met this guy that has all the qualities that I
wish my boyfriend had, and now it's making me sexually
attracted to him, which is what she says in the
last paragraph. Now that he's ambitious, he's driven, he's outgoing.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I want to get in his skin.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I want to fuck this man because he's everything I
kind of wish my boyfriend was. But she's also not
saying she hates her boyfriend. He's just not into the
thing she likes right now. And I think that's the
thing too. When you're a twenty six year old woman, bro,
nothing is sexier than a man with ambition and drive
and a go get a like.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
At twenty six. You don't want a man that just
plays video games all day and smokes weed. But I
also understand her saying.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
You feel like family, because I think a lot of
couples turn into family.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
When she made that much, and she said that multiple times.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Oh yeah, Like I'm really watching myself with I've never farted.
Like I'm getting to this point of comfortability in my
relationship where if I'm a little bloated, he'd be like, baby,
just try to shit, or if I say it like
I'm feeling so bloated, I don't feel well and I'm like,
oh my god, we can't talk about shit.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I can't talk about shit with you, And He've turning
around my brother, like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Like get to this point where it's so different, bitch,
I'll be shitting on the phone, niggas on FaceTime. They
just look at the ceiling. As long as I don't
have to like push it out. I'll shit on face
time with you push it on, and I mean when
it's really strong and you gotta focus, but like I'll
just have the face time looking up to the ceiling
and or are you kidding me? No, bitch, I'll be
(07:00):
on the toilet when I can't you call them back
because we're in a good conversation.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
And I agree, I definitely use the restaurant.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
But I on FaceTime again, I just make it look
and I just keep going. Or I'll talk louder when
I know it's about.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
That, or you have it or you haven't excused me.
I just I like talk a little loud about.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
It on you.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
But I'm my god, it's so comfortable if I'm eating
your ass and if we're gonna be having sex, and.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Manby, that's sex. That's duram sex.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
If I am licking your body.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I'm not like delusional to what we do with our body.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I want to see a statistic about couples of this
ship in front of each other and fart in front
of each other.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
That's different relationships.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Don't get it in front of me. I'm I'm not
gonna ship.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
In front of you. But on FaceTime you're not seeing
me ship. Yeah, you just know I'm on the toilet.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
No, there has to be some science to this, like
does it actually make you closer?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Does it make your worse?
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Don't you get peed on? No?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Right, what are we talking.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
About it's a sexual act, but that's the toilet act.
It's not like you're shitting for a sex, but.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
That's a toilet act. Bitch, I am not one of you.
What does that mean?
Speaker 5 (08:06):
That means?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
You're a ship on the FaceTime girl, bro?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Because I'm very comfortable with and you know, always say worse.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Your butt is such a fucking attribute of you where
you was like, oh wow, like a lot of people
don't have that. But and now all I could think
is ship coming out of it.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
On the No, Bro, I need people to like we
are human beings.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
If you don't think your nigga, don't ship, it may
have some rough ones you are, like.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Bro, don't be delusional with the human body. I don't
know how we got here, but anyway, I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Get because like I feel like, once you get to
that family point where you could do anything around each other,
I don't always think that's good. I think you should reserve. No,
I think you should reserve some things for private.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
I agree, like what shit, No, I mean, don't ship
in front of me? Like that's one in front of me.
I'm kind of whatever.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
He is not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
But I think, well, we know I think that, But
I can farting in front of someone deliberately.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Do not do that.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
Do not just walk by and far. I don't want
to be in your fumes and stuff like that. But
we're on FaceTime, I'm on the toilet, We're not even
by each other. And and to me, like when my
ex was coming over all the time, I love him.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Know you might not want to go in the bathroom
for a little bits that happens.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Okay, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Dan, you're dating a girl. Let's say it's been.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Let's give it two months, okay, dave you two.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And you're on face time and she's like, oh, I
gotta go to the bathroom. Now you're thinking it's p
you realize she's shitting.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
You said, yeah, well I kind of. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 6 (09:33):
I do say call me back if you want you want.
It's for the privacy, not because of the shipping.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
But is there a problem. Is she's like, no, it's good, No.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
I'm chilling.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
No not a DJ.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Yeah day what you're doing?
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Yeah, call me back, But only if the woman wants,
if she wants.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
To hold on.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So she wants to ship on the phone. You're still
in it.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Y'all do anything for some puss. That's just crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Sorry that we're human and we all understand we have
humans like to call for a phone. Let's all phone
a friend. I can't believe you just want someone to
be on your bro You're out numbered here.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's okay. If you were leave the one and I
mean insane, I.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
Need if your man's was shipping while y'all are on FaceTime,
he didn't realize the last minute you'd be You.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Would be upset that you knew he was shitting on
the phone with you.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
No on face on FaceTime is crazy? Why did you
involve me in your ship?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
On the audio?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
It's different. I shop on a fucking zoom audio call exactly.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
What's the difference?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Difference?
Speaker 5 (10:31):
But you're not gonna see me on the face.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You're looking at the ceiling, not looking.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
At the FaceTime showing the ship.
Speaker 6 (10:40):
Leave my ass please, she already put that visual in
my head around I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
They don't need to know that we ship.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
Okay, I mean okay, I very much subscribe to the
realm of I don't want to protect like I don't
want to know that girl's poop.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You don't have to know the food.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
By the way, Can we get back to what this
listener should do in her relationship?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh, just break up with him?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah for Oh wait, you feel like that she should
break up with this man kind of word to the
read Just break up with him?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Really?
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Yeah? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (11:18):
What about you think she should work on it? I
think she is twenty six. But then this might be
where you just introduced a non traditional style leader.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Can I say this?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I will say that.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I will say that since you could most likely do
better because Amanda just wants to smoke weed all day
and that doesn't take you on dates.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You deserve better.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Now.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I don't want to sound very aunto your mom like,
but I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
Say this too late.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I really is too late.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
That smoke for breakfast shit is a fucking oh my god,
I'm so sorry I'm saying this. But the most low
vibrational bullshit vibration. I mean, above fucker, that's smoking morning.
I could s feel the weed in their how they
like need the fucking smoke. That's all we do. I'm disgusted. Honestly,
I don't hang with men or women like that. I
(12:09):
hang with weed smokers. I don't hang with people that
make that a part of their aesthetic. I think that
shit is fucking weird.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
It's not an aesthetic. But maybe there's not actually what
I'm talking about, but a lot.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
Of my friends, it's a very low percentage.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I know.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I have friends that literally, if we're going out to dinner,
they're going outside to smoke because they have to smoke
before they feel like they wake up and smoke.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
They're driving and they smoke. I have friends that literally
smoke all day long, not to show.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Are they functional?
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Yeah, see, I feel like there's a low percentage of
people who can do all that wake and make and
everything and to actually happen.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Well, that's probably the issue with her boyfriend right now.
He may smoke so much to where he's not functional
to take you on dates, sport to remember.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
That you said, don't be real.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I don't care if it's functional. I take anything that
you need to do as a sign a weakness. If
you need alcohol to have a good time, you need
to smoke before we go eat or in the morning,
and not to call your friends week. I don't mean
that genuine I'm not trying to say that I just
mean what it looks like.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's your opinion.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I don't care what it looks like. To me, I can't.
I can't be around it all the time. Like if
I'm sitting with a like a partner, if my boyfriend
is doing this, like what the fuck the I have
ship to do? Like, I don't give a fuck if
I am a freelancer or I can dictate my own day.
I don't think that type of culture is cool. I've
literally been around people that won't go to a spot
(13:24):
if they can't smoke in it, and I think that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yeah, I mean, but to me that's one Like I
have friends that literally wake up in Papa audterall because
that's what they need. Like, I don't think again, if
you're functioning, it's fine. As a partner. The only thing
I don't want my partner to do all day is
play video games. But that's because I think that has
an impact on you being productive.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Hold on, do you think wake and bake is.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
I would rather a man smoke all day long every
day and need to smoke before eating than playing video games.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
For hours on end.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yes, I kind of see that. Yes, Yes, do not.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Be unless unless you're making six figures playing video games.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Let me go ahead and throw the.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Ca yeah, because the gamers are going to be like, well,
someone wants to make a lot of money doing it.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Shut the fuck up. Majority of the men may just
play video games.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Associate video games differently, So like I feel that video
games if I guess, if you're talking in terms of
someone that does it all day, sure, but like if
someone enjoys a game for leisure, what do I give.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
A fuck now for hours on end?
Speaker 4 (14:19):
If you're talking if we're talking about the addiction on
how much you do it, if you play a video
game for one hour, no, I'm not going to compare
you to someone who smokes all day. If we're talking
about a guy who needs to smoke and function, I'm
comparing him to a gamer that may literally be able
to sit a whole work shift six to eight hours
and play video games.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Well, what my Saturday is smoking and playing video games.
But every other day is fine.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
You better have a savings account. Oh, I mean yeah,
but you better you better work. Like to me, it
makes sense on your off day. I'm talking about a
daily thing. So I don't want a daily gamer.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
If for I think a way that I do like
mindless shit and decompress is trash TV.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Everyone knows I love night everyone knows you love your house.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
You do you have the time to do it every day.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But if I spent my whole Saturday doing that, is
that not compared?
Speaker 5 (15:03):
That's fine, I'm.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Saying, but that's the point.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
We're talking about the everyday weed smoker compared to the
everyday gamer.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I'm not talking about binging on an off day. We're
literally compared. I don't have anyone.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
You can't binge on anything and not fucking get to it.
That's a no for me, period. I'm just saying that comparison. Yeah,
to me, video games in a way can be brain games.
But there is something about weed smoker culture that is
very lazy and and addictive, and I just I don't know.
I can't appreciate it. But I am somebody that smokes weed,
you know what I mean? So when I hear that
(15:35):
that's what they like to do. He can't get up
and do stuff. Of course, I'm going to correlate the
two laziness.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
It's laziness.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
And again I think he's one of those that is
a weed smoker. That's not functional. And I think that
when you again get to twenty six years old, you
do start requiring and looking at your partner differently because
you're looking at them as well. Is he a provider?
Is this someone that I can build with? Which is
also what she's saying. When I was eighteen, I wasn't
looking at At twenty six, I want to be able
to build with my partner, and this is clearly someone
(16:03):
you can't build with.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
You know.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
There's another thing that my homegirl said. She was dating
a smoker, like one of them every day types. She
literally said to me, I just feel like he always
got to escape from something, And she's like, and I
hate it. I hate when someone's got to drink or
smoke to escape from some shit. Well, there's sex, there's
a lot of.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Us we use.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
The average person will use these things to add to
the vibe, not to be the fucking day, just literally
your life. So I think meeting someone at that young
age that's already starting off that way, no, I think
you got to get to a point like where you
deserve it.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Well.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
I think she said that she was also that person,
and she just notices that she's in a place of change.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
You don't need to be with that man like that.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
You know, you definitely don't need to be with him.
Let's be very clear. Yeah, if you're you have some
bad habits about you.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
One of the most important things I feel like I
recognized recently in business and in a relationship is knowing
where I'm my weaknesses are, being very upfront about those things.
If you know your weakness is something that you see
in a partner, you'll drag each other down. Like it's
just there's no point in being together. If I know
(17:12):
that I'm always late or I'm delayed on projects often,
and my partner doesn't excel in that, what the fuck
are we doing? How we ever get shit done together?
This is not a good match. Like the faults need
to be a strength in someone else. The same thing
in business, having a business partner and you're both bad
at something, what the fuck is the point of that?
So I really believe that a lot of people need
(17:33):
to pay attention to that and love. Like if your
partner or someone you're interested in has something admirable about
them that you're like, damn, I would like to be
like that, or you admire it?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Hell the fuck?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, that's a hell yes, the same for men and
women listening. Don't you dare get what a motherfucker that
got the same advice as you?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Hey A, no, yeah, you're fucked.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Will if you want to take our advice, or need
our advice, or think you want our advice, make sure
you can next week.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Was like, you probably don't. Make sure you email us Decisions.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Pod at gmail dot com because you've got decisions and
we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Bye, y'all.
If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, friend.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Or a terrible throffle, guess what You've got decisions?
Speaker 4 (00:13):
All right, y'all, we are back again giving you decisions,
because you've got decisions. If you make If you guys
want to have Weezy and I answer your questions, make
sure you shoot us over and email Hyne Decisions pod
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Now, this advice may be good or it may not be,
but we're gonna give it to you.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Either way, we're gonna we gonna listen. We are giving
you what we got. That's it, and it's bad. I'm
just a podcaster, that's it. Do not take this as
what is it when your therapist give you advice that
all of that, Like, this is not healthcare advice or what.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I don't fuck it?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
What's this bitch one?
Speaker 5 (00:53):
All right?
Speaker 4 (00:54):
So y'all, this week we are talking about the possibility
of outgrowing relationships.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Uh so, here we go.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Question is have I outgrown my relationship? Hey, Ma, Andy
and Weezy, I love you guys so much, but I
boom So I've been with my boyfriend since I was
eighteen and I really love him, but lately I feel
like I'm outgrowing the relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm twenty six now and finding that I.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Want more from life to go out, explore and build
something meaningful together. While he's kind, loyal, debatable and loves
me deeply, he lacks motivation and often puts things off,
like plans to go to the gym or doing activities
together when I ask. Most of our time together has
been spent smoking and talking with very few dates since
(01:39):
he spends a lot of his money on weed, and honestly,
I'm over smoking too. It is always last when we're together,
and I feel like we are so comfortable together and
have turned into family. But honestly, I realize it's been
years and years of the same routine with him. Even
the sex has faded away sort of. He gets frustrated
when we go a while without sex. He tries to
(02:00):
be chill about it and asks if it's him, but
I never know what to really say. But I feel
like I'm never in the mood because there's not much happening. Then,
when I recommend stuff for us to do, he agrees
and says we will, but we rarely do. Sometimes I
feel like I'm being difficult, but I don't know. I
asked him if he's went and had sex with anyone else,
and he admitted that he did. This actually didn't make
(02:23):
me mad because I know it's just because we haven't
been having sex. But should this be my time to exit?
I'm in a dilemma because I really do love him.
He feels like family. Recently, I reconnected with an old
friend who has qualities I wish my boyfriend had. He's responsible,
driven and active. Being around him makes me realize what
(02:44):
I might be missing out on. He's also about to
be moving back out where I live, and I honestly
want to get into his skin so badly. I feel
guilty for wanting more because I know my boyfriend is
committed and loves me, bitch. He also is all right,
but part of me wonders if it's time to move on.
How should I handle this conversation with my boyfriend? And
(03:05):
do you think it's right to step out?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes? I love y'all. Thank y'all in advance.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
There's a lot of things about this I want you
to start, but what I would like to say is
you're confused, but you type that whole thing up, girl,
And what I will say is, if you're at the
point where your paragraphs into a podcast, there's some bitches
to talk about sex.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
But you know you've far gone, you noticed a relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Far gone, and you also know that like when the
doubt is that heavy, you're really just writing this because
you just want us to tell you it's okay to go,
But go ahead.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
No, I believe that too. I think it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Saying that he's a great boyfriend but also cheated on you,
whether he admitted to it or not, Like he has
already stepped out, so to me, a few things can
happen here, right, Like I think on decisions, decisions, the
conversation is leaning more into what a non traditional relationship
could look like. So the fact that he stepped out
and it didn't even make you upset because you weren't
(04:03):
giving him sex, but you have the desire to have
sex with someone else. Of course, I'm always going to say,
start there, see how you can navigate a relationship where
maybe you both are open to getting the things you
want from someone else, knowing.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
That you guys still have love for each other. Right.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Secondly, however, you wanting to do more and him being
in the same space he was probably in when y'all
met at eighteen. You guys have been together for eight
years since you were eighteen, you're now twenty six. I
think that it's okay to notice that you're I wouldn't
say outgrowing, but changing. Change is okay, and change is
expected in a relationship. So I think that's the first
(04:38):
thing you should have a conversation with your boyfriend about.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Hey, I want to do these things. I bring them up,
we don't do them. Hey, I know.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
You like getting high, I don't really like smoking anymore,
And I think you bring up the things that you
do enjoy doing to see if you and him can
enjoy these new things together.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't think that you should leave him, don't.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I will never tell you to cheat, but I think
you have to have a real conversation with him about
how the relationship could maybe mold into looking differently, especially
if you're not mad that he stepped out and he
admitted it like as if he was expecting you not
to be mad.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
So ID lean that way first, and.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
Then maybe find someone else that you could have that
fun with if you still really love being with this man.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
The problem is like even questioning, oh is it okay
if I step out? It's like you only want to
do it just because the motherfucker did it, and then
you really have this thing of now you're the one
who hasn't. I think that's when a lot of people
start talking about stepping out.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
It doesn't sound like even she wants to step out
because he wants. She asked that, yeah, no, no, she
asked if she should step out. But it doesn't sound
like she wants to get back. It sounds like I've
met this guy that has all the qualities that I
wish my boyfriend had, and now it's making me sexually
attracted to him, which is what she says in the
last paragraph. Now that he's ambitious, he's driven, he's outgoing.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I want to get in his skin.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
I want to fuck this man because he's everything I
kind of wish my boyfriend was. But she's also not
saying she hates her boyfriend. He's just not into the
thing she likes right now. And I think that's the
thing too. When you're a twenty six year old woman, bro,
nothing is sexier than a man with ambition and drive
and a go get a like.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
At twenty six. You don't want a man that just
plays video games all day and smokes weed. But I
also understand her saying.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
You feel like family, because I think a lot of
couples turn into family.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
When she made that much, and she said that multiple times.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Oh yeah, Like I'm really watching myself with I've never farted.
Like I'm getting to this point of comfortability in my
relationship where if I'm a little bloated, he'd be like, baby,
just try to shit, or if I say it like
I'm feeling so bloated, I don't feel well and I'm like,
oh my god, we can't talk about shit.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I can't talk about shit with you, And He've turning
around my brother, like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I don't want to.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Like get to this point where it's so different, bitch,
I'll be shitting on the phone, niggas on FaceTime. They
just look at the ceiling. As long as I don't
have to like push it out. I'll shit on face
time with you push it on, and I mean when
it's really strong and you gotta focus, but like I'll
just have the face time looking up to the ceiling
and or are you kidding me? No, bitch, I'll be
(07:00):
on the toilet when I can't you call them back
because we're in a good conversation.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
And I agree, I definitely use the restaurant.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
But I on FaceTime again, I just make it look
and I just keep going. Or I'll talk louder when
I know it's about.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
That, or you have it or you haven't excused me.
I just I like talk a little loud about.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
It on you.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
But I'm my god, it's so comfortable if I'm eating
your ass and if we're gonna be having sex, and.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Manby, that's sex. That's duram sex.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
If I am licking your body.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I'm not like delusional to what we do with our body.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
I want to see a statistic about couples of this
ship in front of each other and fart in front
of each other.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
That's different relationships.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Don't get it in front of me. I'm I'm not
gonna ship.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
In front of you. But on FaceTime you're not seeing
me ship. Yeah, you just know I'm on the toilet.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
No, there has to be some science to this, like
does it actually make you closer?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Does it make your worse?
Speaker 5 (07:53):
Don't you get peed on? No?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Right, what are we talking.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
About it's a sexual act, but that's the toilet act.
It's not like you're shitting for a sex, but.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
That's a toilet act. Bitch, I am not one of you.
What does that mean?
Speaker 5 (08:06):
That means?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
You're a ship on the FaceTime girl, bro?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Because I'm very comfortable with and you know, always say worse.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Your butt is such a fucking attribute of you where
you was like, oh wow, like a lot of people
don't have that. But and now all I could think
is ship coming out of it.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
On the No, Bro, I need people to like we
are human beings.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
If you don't think your nigga, don't ship, it may
have some rough ones you are, like.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Bro, don't be delusional with the human body. I don't
know how we got here, but anyway, I don't want to.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Get because like I feel like, once you get to
that family point where you could do anything around each other,
I don't always think that's good. I think you should reserve. No,
I think you should reserve some things for private.
Speaker 6 (08:46):
I agree, like what shit, No, I mean, don't ship
in front of me? Like that's one in front of me.
I'm kind of whatever.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
He is not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
But I think, well, we know I think that, But
I can farting in front of someone deliberately.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Do not do that.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
Do not just walk by and far. I don't want
to be in your fumes and stuff like that. But
we're on FaceTime, I'm on the toilet, We're not even
by each other. And and to me, like when my
ex was coming over all the time, I love him.
Speaker 5 (09:13):
Know you might not want to go in the bathroom
for a little bits that happens.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Okay, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Dan, you're dating a girl. Let's say it's been.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Let's give it two months, okay, dave you two.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And you're on face time and she's like, oh, I
gotta go to the bathroom. Now you're thinking it's p
you realize she's shitting.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
You said, yeah, well I kind of. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 6 (09:33):
I do say call me back if you want you want.
It's for the privacy, not because of the shipping.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
But is there a problem. Is she's like, no, it's good, No.
Speaker 5 (09:39):
I'm chilling.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
No not a DJ.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Yeah day what you're doing?
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Yeah, call me back, But only if the woman wants,
if she wants.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
To hold on.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
So she wants to ship on the phone. You're still
in it.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Y'all do anything for some puss. That's just crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Sorry that we're human and we all understand we have
humans like to call for a phone. Let's all phone
a friend. I can't believe you just want someone to
be on your bro You're out numbered here.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's okay. If you were leave the one and I
mean insane, I.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
Need if your man's was shipping while y'all are on FaceTime,
he didn't realize the last minute you'd be You.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Would be upset that you knew he was shitting on
the phone with you.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
No on face on FaceTime is crazy? Why did you
involve me in your ship?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
On the audio?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
It's different. I shop on a fucking zoom audio call exactly.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
What's the difference?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Difference?
Speaker 5 (10:31):
But you're not gonna see me on the face.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You're looking at the ceiling, not looking.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
At the FaceTime showing the ship.
Speaker 6 (10:40):
Leave my ass please, she already put that visual in
my head around I don't.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
They don't need to know that we ship.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
Okay, I mean okay, I very much subscribe to the
realm of I don't want to protect like I don't
want to know that girl's poop.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You don't have to know the food.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
By the way, Can we get back to what this
listener should do in her relationship?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh, just break up with him?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah for Oh wait, you feel like that she should
break up with this man kind of word to the
read Just break up with him?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Really?
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Yeah? Sorry?
Speaker 4 (11:18):
What about you think she should work on it? I
think she is twenty six. But then this might be
where you just introduced a non traditional style leader.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Can I say this?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I will say that.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I will say that since you could most likely do
better because Amanda just wants to smoke weed all day
and that doesn't take you on dates.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You deserve better.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Now.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I don't want to sound very aunto your mom like,
but I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (11:43):
Say this too late.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I really is too late.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
That smoke for breakfast shit is a fucking oh my god,
I'm so sorry I'm saying this. But the most low
vibrational bullshit vibration. I mean, above fucker, that's smoking morning.
I could s feel the weed in their how they
like need the fucking smoke. That's all we do. I'm disgusted. Honestly,
I don't hang with men or women like that. I
(12:09):
hang with weed smokers. I don't hang with people that
make that a part of their aesthetic. I think that
shit is fucking weird.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
It's not an aesthetic. But maybe there's not actually what
I'm talking about, but a lot.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
Of my friends, it's a very low percentage.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I know.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I have friends that literally, if we're going out to dinner,
they're going outside to smoke because they have to smoke
before they feel like they wake up and smoke.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
They're driving and they smoke. I have friends that literally
smoke all day long, not to show.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
Are they functional?
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Yeah, see, I feel like there's a low percentage of
people who can do all that wake and make and
everything and to actually happen.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Well, that's probably the issue with her boyfriend right now.
He may smoke so much to where he's not functional
to take you on dates, sport to remember.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
That you said, don't be real.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I don't care if it's functional. I take anything that
you need to do as a sign a weakness. If
you need alcohol to have a good time, you need
to smoke before we go eat or in the morning,
and not to call your friends week. I don't mean
that genuine I'm not trying to say that I just
mean what it looks like.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
It's your opinion.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I don't care what it looks like. To me, I can't.
I can't be around it all the time. Like if
I'm sitting with a like a partner, if my boyfriend
is doing this, like what the fuck the I have
ship to do? Like, I don't give a fuck if
I am a freelancer or I can dictate my own day.
I don't think that type of culture is cool. I've
literally been around people that won't go to a spot
(13:24):
if they can't smoke in it, and I think that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yeah, I mean, but to me that's one Like I
have friends that literally wake up in Papa audterall because
that's what they need. Like, I don't think again, if
you're functioning, it's fine. As a partner. The only thing
I don't want my partner to do all day is
play video games. But that's because I think that has
an impact on you being productive.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Hold on, do you think wake and bake is.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
I would rather a man smoke all day long every
day and need to smoke before eating than playing video games.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
For hours on end.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yes, I kind of see that. Yes, Yes, do not.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Be unless unless you're making six figures playing video games.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Let me go ahead and throw the.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Ca yeah, because the gamers are going to be like, well,
someone wants to make a lot of money doing it.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Shut the fuck up. Majority of the men may just
play video games.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Associate video games differently, So like I feel that video
games if I guess, if you're talking in terms of
someone that does it all day, sure, but like if
someone enjoys a game for leisure, what do I give.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
A fuck now for hours on end?
Speaker 4 (14:19):
If you're talking if we're talking about the addiction on
how much you do it, if you play a video
game for one hour, no, I'm not going to compare
you to someone who smokes all day. If we're talking
about a guy who needs to smoke and function, I'm
comparing him to a gamer that may literally be able
to sit a whole work shift six to eight hours
and play video games.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Well, what my Saturday is smoking and playing video games.
But every other day is fine.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
You better have a savings account. Oh, I mean yeah,
but you better you better work. Like to me, it
makes sense on your off day. I'm talking about a
daily thing. So I don't want a daily gamer.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
If for I think a way that I do like
mindless shit and decompress is trash TV.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Everyone knows I love night everyone knows you love your house.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
You do you have the time to do it every day.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But if I spent my whole Saturday doing that, is
that not compared?
Speaker 5 (15:03):
That's fine, I'm.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Saying, but that's the point.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
We're talking about the everyday weed smoker compared to the
everyday gamer.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I'm not talking about binging on an off day. We're
literally compared. I don't have anyone.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
You can't binge on anything and not fucking get to it.
That's a no for me, period. I'm just saying that comparison. Yeah,
to me, video games in a way can be brain games.
But there is something about weed smoker culture that is
very lazy and and addictive, and I just I don't know.
I can't appreciate it. But I am somebody that smokes weed,
you know what I mean? So when I hear that
(15:35):
that's what they like to do. He can't get up
and do stuff. Of course, I'm going to correlate the
two laziness.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
It's laziness.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
And again I think he's one of those that is
a weed smoker. That's not functional. And I think that
when you again get to twenty six years old, you
do start requiring and looking at your partner differently because
you're looking at them as well. Is he a provider?
Is this someone that I can build with? Which is
also what she's saying. When I was eighteen, I wasn't
looking at At twenty six, I want to be able
to build with my partner, and this is clearly someone
(16:03):
you can't build with.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
You know.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
There's another thing that my homegirl said. She was dating
a smoker, like one of them every day types. She
literally said to me, I just feel like he always
got to escape from something, And she's like, and I
hate it. I hate when someone's got to drink or
smoke to escape from some shit. Well, there's sex, there's
a lot of.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Us we use.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
The average person will use these things to add to
the vibe, not to be the fucking day, just literally
your life. So I think meeting someone at that young
age that's already starting off that way, no, I think
you got to get to a point like where you
deserve it.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Well.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
I think she said that she was also that person,
and she just notices that she's in a place of change.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
You don't need to be with that man like that.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
You know, you definitely don't need to be with him.
Let's be very clear. Yeah, if you're you have some
bad habits about you.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
One of the most important things I feel like I
recognized recently in business and in a relationship is knowing
where I'm my weaknesses are, being very upfront about those things.
If you know your weakness is something that you see
in a partner, you'll drag each other down. Like it's
just there's no point in being together. If I know
(17:12):
that I'm always late or I'm delayed on projects often,
and my partner doesn't excel in that, what the fuck
are we doing? How we ever get shit done together?
This is not a good match. Like the faults need
to be a strength in someone else. The same thing
in business, having a business partner and you're both bad
at something, what the fuck is the point of that?
So I really believe that a lot of people need
(17:33):
to pay attention to that and love. Like if your
partner or someone you're interested in has something admirable about
them that you're like, damn, I would like to be
like that, or you admire it?
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Hell the fuck?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, that's a hell yes, the same for men and
women listening. Don't you dare get what a motherfucker that
got the same advice as you?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Hey A, no, yeah, you're fucked.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
I agree.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Will if you want to take our advice, or need
our advice, or think you want our advice, make sure
you can next week.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Was like, you probably don't. Make sure you email us Decisions.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Pod at gmail dot com because you've got decisions and
we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Bye, y'all.
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