March 28, 2025 • 59 mins
Backstage at TRIC in Wilmington, Joy and Rob are joined by Barbara Alyn Woods! Barbara opens up about her party-girl reputation, the original plan for her character Deb, and what happened to Deb in the later seasons.
Plus, in a surprising twist, Barbara introduces the new love of her life to the Drama Queen audience...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
First of all, you don't know me. All about that
high school drama girl drama girl, all about.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Them high school queens. We'll take you for a ride.
And our comic girl shared for the right teams Drama Queens,
Jaylie's my girl, up girl fashion, but your tough girl,
you could sit with us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Drahma Queens
Drama Queens.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hi Friends, welcome in. We have another special episode for
you today, coming from none other than Wilmington, North Carolina.
I am joined by the one and only b Jail.
That's Bethany joy Lens for you people who aren't hip,
and we have an extraordinarily cool guest. I was so
(00:48):
excited when I heard about this booking because she happens
to be one of my new favorite friends, the life
of every party, and everyone's favorite nanny slash ex wife
slash firecrackers.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
X addict X what is hato on Tripper? Like?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yeah, the one and only Barbara Allen woods Hight.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Guys, we're just debating, is it Babs? Is it Barbie?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Is all of the above anything that starts with b
okay beautiful? Yeah, all those.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Things anything yes, Babe, brave, I go with babe, I
love bad.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
We're going there, we go.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You're saying you always got this rep you got the
reputation as a party girl.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Well, I know it's since One Tree Hill. I have
this reputation as a party girl. It's since One Tree Hill.
I think so like people think that of me, and
I feel like it's just such a bubble burst when
they find out I'm kind of a homebody. Yeah, but
I think it's also because I'm I'm an open book
like you guys, I'm now inviting you to open my
book because I just like, I just say how I
(01:55):
feel all the time. And so when they asked me
to host certain things like events, I'm out there and
I tell it like it is, and I put people
in their place, and that I think they think that
I'm just like a crazy, wild party girl.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Well, having spent some time with you at the last
convention in Paris that we did together, I will say
I think it's just also because you have such a
lightness to you and energy, and it just seems like
you are You're genuinely enjoying like wherever you are, and
so I think it's very easy to confuse that with
(02:29):
like a party girl, yeah, because usually it takes people
booze to just be like in an ordinary setting. But
that's just kind of the energy you carry with you
wherever you go.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
And it sounds really corny, but I really do enjoy
One Tree Hill events. I mean they make me happy,
like the reunion with these some of my favorite people.
I do so it's genuine, you know, I don't like
fake the happiness and I'm having a good time. I
really am having a good time.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But you're consistent. You're consistent in your which is one
of my favorite qualities in people anyway. Is that the
joy that we see in you here whenever we come.
When I see you outside of these environments too, you're
the same when I talk to you on the phone
and be like, you're just you have a as a webside,
you have a lightness, there's an effor escence.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
And I feel supportive of my castmates in general, you know.
I mean that makes me feel like I'm saying, oh,
I'm a saint or something, but I really do. Like
I went to the concerts last night. I love going
to your concert I love wherever Tyler is. I'm like, oh,
can I be there, you know, just like to support support,
because we all kind of came from the same place.
(03:35):
You guys are off doing so many other things now,
but it's like, why.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Not, you know, we kind of get to reclaim some
time that we didn't get to. We didn't know how
to do that for each and kind of making up
for me and maybe making up for lost time.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
I never knew the second half of the show. I
never knew you guys, and I knew you and Joy.
Oh my god, so many things. This is a whole
other podcast, but so many things I wish we had
spoken about. Yeah, we were working together every day, Like
I don't know, it's just so maybe for me it
is making up for lost time. Yeah, for making up
(04:12):
for time that I wish I had spent a tiny
bit differently when I was doing the show. But I
was so focused on raising kids full time. Yeah, so
I would work and go home, race kids, work, go home,
race kids.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah. So, An, you were all in that stage of
life in a different way. Yeah. I wasn't raising kids,
but I was obviously had my own crazy world going on,
and we're all, you know, we were all in that
phase of life where we were keeping our work separate
from our personal lives, which makes sense. Everybody wants to
be professional. But it when I if I did it
again in another place that was insular, like Wilmington is,
(04:46):
I really would want to invest in the people that
I was working with.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
How I feel. Yeah, yeah, well.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
That's what these conventions are. I mean, that's what they
were for me. Was that like we got to come
back as adults, and I just realized how great the
group is and it is like we talk all the time.
It's like strong summer camp vibes, you know. Because when
I was doing the show, like I had my own
stuff going on. Everyone else had their own stuff going on,
so we didn't really get to know each other. And
then it was sort of like we all like left
(05:14):
war and then we came back once we like did
some healing and we went, oh, you're actually a cool person.
Yeah I like you. Yeah great.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
And also when we were in Paris, because it was
like hours were long and long, there were a lot
of people and we love our Paris fans and it's
a lot of emotion, and I felt like we were
all in the trenches together, like in the green room
was like the trenches, but we were in it together.
We're going to get through this together. So it's like
a bonding experience.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You know, you've worked so long that you've had such
an illustrious career, and is it illustrious or illustrious, I'm
not sure what the right word is, but either way,
it's been fabulous. Have you found this kind of energy
on a lot of other sets that you've been on,
Like it was a unique.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
You know, you always have a few people, you know, it's, oh,
we're a family, We're going to keep in touch, and
it's so hard, but I do have a few from
other shows that you know, years years, years ago, and
they're still a part of my family, which is amazing.
And if you can get the like pick out a
few special people to carry with you to the rest
of you know, for the rest of your life, it's
(06:22):
really special. But these conventions, and I know this has
been said a hundred times, but this is keeping us together.
These conventions are keeping us together, and I don't know,
I just hope they never die because.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Because that's the tree Hill forever. If we didn't have
these conventions, I would be hard. I wouldn't have almost
any of the relationships I have with one Tree Hill
cast members today.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
And yeah, podcast, you know, keeping people together. No, it's
it's good. It's all good. We're all such special people,
special special people.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Just jump right into Okay, you have had a lot
of TV daughters. So here's my question for you. Who
was your favorite TV daughter? Your real life daughter Natalie,
or your real life daughter.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Emily Robert or my real life daughter Allie Ally played
your daughter for an entire series.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh was that, Chuckie.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, I thought that.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Was Emily for some reason.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
That was But I did play Emily's daughter. I played
Emily's daughter in a pilot, I played her mother, and
then on The Goldbergs, I played Natalie's mother.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oh my gosh. The Goldbergs great.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
And now let's make it all three of your real
life doors. I want you to rank them, Rob.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You can't. I told you.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
For it.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Well, first of all, I liked my character the most
that I played against Alie. Okay, I liked that character
the most because she was just a raging, crazy, you know,
hot mess, and it was so much fun because she
was a regular on the show, and so we were
running lines at home, we were living together, you know,
(08:10):
not at home, not in La So we were living
together in an apartment, just the two of us and
having to run these lines where I was just the
worst mother in the world and we could literally not
look at each other without laughing. And I didn't know
if we would be able to make it to set,
Like I didn't know how we would be on set.
I thought we were going to be unprofessional, like we
couldn't get through because we couldn't make it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Like really hard to call her names and to be
so horrible to her and look in her eyes. But
then when we got there, it was it was great.
So I'd have to say that experience and my cheating
because I'm not choosing Ali, but the experience with Alie
I'll choose. It's But the Goldbergs was a comedy. That's
my favorite thing to do. I love doing comedy, so
(08:51):
that was yeah. And then Emily. I just love hanging
out with Emily, so that was really political answer.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
So what I heard though was that it was nowhere
near clothes. It was Olivia first place, Natalie second place,
in an adduced in third Ama.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
But the thing is Alie's here with me right now too,
is she.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
So oh, we just saw her when we came in.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
She's so fun. She's got that same energy that you do.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
By the way, she really carries that same and Natalie
and I know all three girls. And when I see
Natalie and I run into her at like events, which
is the last time I saw her with some event,
She's like, she's so beautiful and she's so intelligent, and
she's but she's got it's not like the lightness, but
she's not like edgy.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
She's like she's super warm.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
She's warm, so much warm.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yes, the same thing.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Wow, yes, incredibly, AMI's like crazy smart, super edgy. She's got. Yes,
she's also got a warmth to her. I mean she's
not cold, but it's it's different.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
She's cool. When you call me extraordinarily cool, Like no
one has ever called me that because I'm not cool.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Instagram get out there, you.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Passed it down. I mean, I have a cool life,
but I'm not cool.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
I'm cool with Joy and I are supremely cool. We
only hang out people.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
You have a cool energy. I don't. It's okay, I'm
fine with that. But Emily has a cool energy.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Do you think is there anyone else in the industry.
You can think of who has worked with their children
and the capacity.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
That you have.
Speaker 7 (10:38):
It's yeah, so you've worked in a you've recreated your
parent child dynamic with all three of your children. I
can't think of anyone else who's done that.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
And I homeschooled all of them too, And I mean
we're friends somehow still because they've spent a lot of
time with me.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
It sounds like someone might be extraordinarily cool.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Yeah, But Nadalie's producing now, so I'm like, oh, she's
a producer now, she can hire all of us. That's perfect.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Get this gang. Ray, the founder of Friends with Benefits,
the convention company that runs these amazing events that we
are currently at, has been working on and designed a
one Tree Hill Fiend Airbnb. Yeah, andwhere else but Wilmington,
North Carolina. And get this gang. It is available for
(11:40):
booking now on the Airbnb app.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
This is such a cool idea. I remember us talking
about this a while ago and we never actually followed
through that. I'm so glad somebody else did.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
The FWB team, led by Ray, Brittany and Jannita, along
with a ton of help from volunteers, are officially turning
trick back into the actual trick like the night club
in the show. For more updates about that and other events,
follow FWB on Instagram at FWB Charity Events.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Are you a better teacher or actor? Oh?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Oh, I'm a really good acting teacher.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Yeah, well with my.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Office, with a tremendous job, with my god, these questions.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I mean, I've often been approached about coaching people because
of their success, but I don't think I could coach
anyone other than my daughters, because I you know, I'm
like tough. I'm tough, and I feel like I can
be tough with them, But I don't think I could
be tough with and I have to coach people who
(12:49):
are already good, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I couldn't teach someone to be good, but I don't
know if anyone can. I mean, you either know how
to act or you don't. You know, you have an
instinct to know how to tell a story, or isn't
it funny?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, isn't I think?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
I think so too. It's something you're born with, But.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Whether you are a professional actor and pursue it or
not doesn't necessarily make the qualification I think it's just
like people inherently either have the ability to feel comfortable
in whatever environment and just share their story, yeah or not.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
And I'm not necessarily into coaching in general, but that's
a whole other thing. But I think because they were
my kids, I could just you know, teach them the
basics and just to trust their instincts and you know,
things like that.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
But so did I answer, I was more speaking to
the homeschooling.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Yeah, yeah, okay, I was a really good teacher. First
of all, I was a good student in school. I
was I was, you know, an a student. So school
was really important to me. And when my kids decided
they wanted to graduate early because their actors, it was
a big deal to me that I was taking school
(13:57):
away from them because just the social like what I
what I got out of school socially was a lot
for me, and I carried that with me through life.
So it was a little bit sad to me that
I was taking that away. Homecoming dances and just you know,
friends and hanging the lockers and like they don't know
how to do a locker code because they've never been
to school, pe all those things you know, after school,
(14:21):
eating lunch in the cafeteria, like, they're not going to
have those things.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I experienced in Wintrell, all of our characters exactly.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
So school was important to me, so I made sure
that they had all those little I even had a
homecoming dance for Ali. I threw a homecoming dance. It
was a prom, not homecoming a prom. But I was
a good teacher because it was important to me. And
also I became an actress, and I was a little
sad that I didn't pursue anything, you know, in the
(14:52):
other fields. I wanted to be an English teacher, and
so in the program that I had them, and I
was able to choose any subjects and go as heavy
or light as I wanted to. And they took tests
at the end and they had to show that they
were proficient. But it was very heavy arts because it
(15:13):
seemed as though that was the direction they were going anyway. Yeah,
I wasn't trying to manipulate them into the arts, but
it seemed like that was the direction they were going.
So we would watch classics. So if you ask my daughters,
you know their favorite movies, they'll know the classics. They'll
know you know who Elizabeth Taylor is and they've seen
all of her movies. And then we would for science,
(15:34):
which was not my strong point, we would watch documentaries
and or movies about science and homeschool. I was so
fun able to just I don't know, Taylor, their education
to what they seemed to be interested in and where
their paths were going. So I wonder if that's one
(15:56):
of the reasons why. You know, it's so rare a
thing to meet kids who grew up in LA who
are children of entertainment professionals who are normal and down
to earth and cool and actually like really healthy. And
as you're talking about being their acting teacher and teaching
(16:16):
them how to trust their instincts, there's something especially for
young women about learning at a young age how to
trust your instinct and.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Be okay with that. Yes, that is pretty pretty formative.
I bet that's played a huge role. I mean, I'm
not their mother, but I would assume from listening to
what you're saying that played a huge role in who
they are today and why they're so healthy and grounded.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Yeah, and not being over coached. Yeah, And I think
a lot of you know, when you're not in the
business and you're a parent who wants to get your
kids into the business because they're precocious or there, they
seem to have talent, or they're good looking or whatever,
and then you us to get them coached and coached
and coached and coached, and they stop thinking for themselves.
And so for me, it was just it was really
(16:58):
all about don't think. Don't think.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
It creates a massive amount of insecurity as well, I
think because then you're constantly focused on yourself all the time.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yes, so as a young actor, as a young.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Actor, Yeah, so that's it sounds like you've I've always
been in awe of your ability as a mother.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
That is the nicest compliment.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I truly have. You always felt like a safe play
and I we were texting the other day about this,
but you always felt like a safe place to me
on set, and I didn't I didn't know necessarily how
to ask for advice or how many times, but even
like I mean that time I had to put my
cat down and Barbara came over and was like there
with me while I had to put my cat. The
cavet came over and Barbara just sat with me because
(17:38):
I was like, I need a mom, and I don't
want to do this alone. I'm like, twenty two, I
don't want to put my hat down alone.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Really twenty two. And I thought I didn't have a
twenty two year old then, so I thought of you as,
you know, an adult, like yeah, but now I know
what twenty two is. Oh my god, I'm really young.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
So young. Yeah, so you always felt it was such
a safe place. I'm just so lucky that we got
you on the show.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
But once again, I would love to do it again
and be there more for you and more for all
the girls, and to be because I think I've always
been a mom, Like I'm very maternal. I knew when
I was ten years old I wanted to be a
mom and even done with my friends, I was maternal.
So I wish I would have had more time with
all of you to mother you and just to be
(18:27):
there and you id But like I said, I didn't
think of you as young because you were all so
you acted so mature. I don't know what you were
feeling inside.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, but feeling like we were fourteen, like what are
we doing here? Just raising ourselves? Yeah, so weird?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Yeah, not living at home?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
And I know, so do you have advice for like
what advice do you have as a mom? Like what
are some of the best pieces of advice that you've
been given or that you've learned.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
What I've learned is the less you react when they
they're going to hear this and that's my secret's going
to be gone. But the less you react when they
tell you something shocking, the more they'll tell you yes.
And even if you don't agree with what they've done
or what they're telling you, go with it because they're
(19:18):
telling you because they either need to get it off
their chest or they they need advice, or they trust you.
And if you go what you did that, you know,
like the less judgmental you are, the more they'll confide
in you, which has been really hard Emily. My Metal
just tells me everything, and sometimes you don't want to
(19:41):
hear certain things, but you just have to go with it.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
Like okay, it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
And then you know you're not going to cut, you know,
cut the communication off, because as soon as you are
judging them.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It's over.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
That feels like really consistent advice in terms of your
personality as well, because you provide that space for everybody
I think that you come into contact with you feel judge.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Yeah, you want people in your life who don't judge you.
That's right, unconditional space.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And the same thing with the toddler. Right, it's like
the bigger reaction you have to them doing something, the
better the odds they're going to keep doing.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It, yes, you know, or they'll be they'll be terrified
and won't ever take risks again.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Yeah, there's that too.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's a big deal with a toddler. What are what
are some of your big pieces of advice that you
feel like you've already garnered wisdom on, Like, ah, okay,
here's the hack.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I have two mantras that I have been leaning on heavily,
and especially in December when the whole family got COVID
so everyone was at like eight percent. Yeah, I really
leaned into this is funny because it was something like
it was part of the script for our kids. But
I ended up using it myself, which is I can
(20:59):
do hard things, so like I would, I'd be having
moments where I was literally at my wits end, like
the very best I could do was to not make
the situation worse, and I would actually say aloud.
Speaker 6 (21:11):
I can do hard things.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
And my kid would look at me like what is
Dad melting down? But it would like it would rain
me in. And then I heard I heard another one
two days ago. Jenny told me, you know, when he's
having a big feelings, there's a simple question, would you
like to be heard, helped or hugged?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Wow? And I have all three yes and yes, all
three are totally.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
And then the last thing, because it's the third, is
this is just when I just remind myself because I
didn't realize how much anxiety I have until I heard
the way I would be talking to like to our son,
so you know, like he would spill the oneter and
be like money, bunny, Bunny money. I was like, oh wait,
he's going to pick this up like I need And.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Then you hear him do it.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Yes, And so I always remind myself like slow down, soften,
just don't take it all so seriously. Yeah, and it
kind of helps me rain it and like it's just
water on the floor. Yeah, you know, like because I
can catch myself getting like a little too tight on
the reins, like and it's like.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
And they pick up your energy, They just pick up
your energy. It's you know, yeah, whatever you're feeling. Sometimes
I'm in a really good mood and I notice people
like my kids are in good moods, like wait, why
did I start that train? Like did I? Am I
the one who's like creating this? Or if I'm not
in a good mood, same thing, like why are you
(22:34):
so crabby? Well, because you are. You're like, oh, I'm
the one who has to be like the happy one here, Okay,
I got it. And you're well you're in the teenage
teen years.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Yeah, wow, isn't that nuts?
Speaker 4 (22:46):
And a girl teenage?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah? Superd are you doing I'm doing great?
Speaker 4 (22:51):
You're doing good.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, she's great. She's so polite and kind and like
it's it's fun and you know, I mean it's just
been the two of us for so yeah life really, Yeah,
we have we have our we have our thing. I
mean I think that's it. Just like don't get on
the roller coaster. Come to show up to the theme
park with them, but like you stay on the ground
(23:13):
and they get to go on the roller coaster. Yes,
and I'm just here when you get off the ride
way for the top while you're at the top. But yeah, no,
it's it's been It's been really a joy. Truly, I
feel I feel so lucky.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
It's besting ever.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah, it is ever. Well, you got to be the
mom of a boy on One Treo, and I wondered, like.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
How how debt? Like how Deb?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
We've had you on the show before, so I don't
remember which questions we've already asked you or not, but
like I wanted to know how Deb came to be
the personality that she became.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Is that funny because it was because she went downhill?
She felt so much like this.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
It was very much what I think of as like
a boy mom like she was really she was really
kind of strong and tough and like had everything in
all her ducks in a row and everything was very
not chaotic, and then the world just all started falling out.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
I don't think they had what happened to Dub. I
don't think was planned. I think this is my theory
and I might have said this on the podcast before,
but my theory is that, well, first of all, the
writers on One Tree Hill really wrote I think for
us as they got to know us, maybe wrote to
our strengths, yeah, maybe added some comedy or not, and
(24:42):
maybe tried to press some buttons, some emotional buttons where
we didn't want them to trusim. Yes, but I think
that when they got to know me and they knew
I was sort of up for fun, party, party, Barbara, party,
Babs whatever, they knew I was up for fun and
just kind of like, yeah, throw me some fun, exciting
(25:03):
stuff to do that. At that point, Deb started going
downhill because.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
She became you know, Cayo.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yes, yes, you were never having more fun, Like it
was so much more fun to play a character like that.
When I go back and watch the beginning episode, she's
just boring, Like that character is just like, Okay, let's
have some fun.
Speaker 7 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
What was the sort of initial conceit of Deb, Like,
how how big of a role was supposed to have?
What did it look like?
Speaker 4 (25:31):
Dad was a three episode arc?
Speaker 3 (25:33):
God, you didn't do so well? Yeah, but you overstayed
your welcome.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Yeah, and this is even better. I was on another
show at the same time, not a regular but a
recurring role in LA and I knew that one Treehill
wanted me for three episodes. I was in love with
this character. I just love I was in love with
the show, the writing, and I don't think I saw
into the future that I would be there further than
(26:04):
three episodes, but I really wanted those three episodes. But
I had to choose between the two shows, and the
other show would have possibly taken me further as well,
and I had to choose, and I chose One Tree
Hill knowing that it was only three episodes. So then
when they extended and I and on top of it,
I never went home. So after three episodes, they said,
(26:24):
would they want to keep you here? So I didn't
even pack for it. I didn't even I never even
went home. So yeah, and then.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
You were here for five years.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
How I always remember, I mean I always forget how
many I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
But we were just watching episodes, like a Thanksgiving episode
that I directed, and you weren't there.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
I was like, where is Dan weird death disappearing. It's
like when Dan goes away.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
No one explained it away. No one explained it, which is.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
More than Dan.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Yes, And all of a sudden, she just shows up
one day with Jamie, I think as the babysitter or
something like. No one ever really in.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Eight, you're just gone. Did you ever get a phone call?
Were you working on other things?
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Yeah? Seven I really honestly don't remember. I think season
eight I moved back to La so I must have
thought I wasn't coming back. I don't remember. Like the series.
I think they were going to have me come like
an occurring basis or something. I don't really remember, but.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Come back for the end I did. Okay, I don't
remember yet.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Was season seven though, when Skills and Dead had a thing?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
No, it was like five. I think it was early
I should know this, but I think that was five.
And then they broke up, you guys broke up and
then you helped us the nanny Carey thing. Yeah, it
was psychotic and season six maybe I remember exact.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
And I had Allie I think season five. Yeah, so
I had to leave for a little bit to have her.
And yeah, well we missed a lot of lunch.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
We're really missing you on the show right now as
we're watching.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
What are you on right now?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Eight twelve?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, well what's happening? So Brooke and Julian are almost
about to get married? Okay, And you'll never believe me,
My god, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Watch you guys, watch you guys. I watched the whole
show with Allie, not at the time, now Ali wanted
to watch all nine. Now she wants she's starting over.
She's a mega fan now, and it's so different for
her to be here. Well she knew you already, but
like to know everybody, and being here is different because
she used to go to the conventions of me and
not really no everybody, but same here. Like I didn't
(28:46):
see your work until recently you got You're good.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
You're so good.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
It really good so much.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
It was the same with you. I hadn't because we
never crossed paths. Yeah, it wasn't until the rewatch It's.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Like, oh, you're so good.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Oh yeah, that's that's right, just.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Like kind of like two different shows. But I mean,
I wish I'd come back and entered your storyline.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
That would have been so much fun. I mean, what
would deb and Clay have gotten into.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Oh oh my goodness, we would have hadn't a fair
Oh oh absolutely, As.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
I stopped for a second because Quinn, yeah, oh I
would I.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Mean Quinn went off to like, oh no, she said
she was going to forgo or something, but she didn't
go the right age.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
Oh yeah, oh yeah eighteen.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I know this because I think the character was supposed
to be remember when I got the job. I think
the character is supposed to be like early thirties, and
I was twenty eight or twenty nine, and so I
was like, it's They're like, it's cool, just grow out
your facial hair. And so if you go back and
watch my first two episodes, I have a very unconvincing.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Do to make you look a one year older, truly,
to the.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Point where it gets abandoned, like one or two episodes
in the season seven because I was like, I don't
think that in La was.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Like her face, but you were playing an adult with
the job, So yeah, that would have been perfect fit.
My god, damn, oh well that so many in another way.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Would club Would that be our couple of men?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah? Club day no delay delay. That's so good.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
I love all the imagining that funny because it would
have been I was pregnant on the show, hoping that
they would just write it in instead of having to hide.
It's hard to hide a woman's stomach and enormous boobs,
and let's write it in deb Yeah, because Deb's what
thirty nine or something, She's not like she's fifty two.
(30:54):
Like it's I mean, I'm pregnant, So deb could be pregnant.
We're kind of the same age. And for the writers,
just like they're like, what, we don't know what to
do to be pregnant?
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Like I mean, I think the same thing happened to Haley,
Like once I had a kid, then they were kind
of like, well, what do we do with you now?
Like you're not interesting anymore?
Speaker 4 (31:15):
So everything opens up, like so many possibilities, becomes so
much more interesting, become so much more aware of, so
much more yourself, so much more comfortable being who you are.
We can throw in a sexy nanny that you hire.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
So many possibilities, so many possibilities. Wait, speaking of possibilities,
I've said for a while that there should be a
prequel to Onetree Hill, Like there should be they need
to do like Deb, Dan and Karen in the eighties.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
You know, so I've never heard this idea that you know,
one of my daughters could plain and the prequel.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
This is my question, Actually, which one of your daughters
do you think?
Speaker 4 (31:53):
I mean, well, look, we know that.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Olivia is the right age. Ali's like God, she's the
writing the same energy as you, and I feel like
that would be a good fit.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
It would be great I could.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Also see Emily and Natalie. Like, I guess it just
depends on how.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
They wrote the character them. Maybe the prequel, so you
lot of the most the prequel could go over a
few years, and then it could be all three of them.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Oh, I got you know, it would be great.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, Like, I just think that is such a I
think that would be so much a great idea. I
think it would be really really.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Interesting, especially if it's in the eighties.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I love eighties, eighties anything, and it's already characters that
people are obsessed with, and it's so much drama that
when we started. When you start the pilot, you're walking
into a ton of drama that's already pre existing. You've
got this small town, this family that's these two families
that are divided, and we don't really know much about
the history of these characters except the flashbacks.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
Even if they're different actors, everyone's already in love with
the character.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, exactly, it's because they ultimately know what's going to be.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Yes, do just build a show. I'm telling you, let's
go after drinks.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Well from the.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Podcast, she was on the show because she was in
my stomach like and so be so cool for her
to do.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I have a question at these conventions, when people come
up to you, when fans come up to you, is
there a scene or a quote that you hear the most.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Yes, life Wait, I have to get it right now.
Life sucks. Give me a drink. Life sucks. I want
to drink. I think that's what it was. Life sucks.
I need a drink. Yeah, over and over and over again,
and people want me to write it like optimistic.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Life sucks.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
I need to drink. Barbara Allen Woods.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
We just interviewed Barry Corbin and he had a fan
and get the quote of his tattoo, but it was
like a beautiful saying and I just wanted to drink. Wow,
mama needs a buzz mom of the year stuff right there.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
I'm telling you, I don't know any other. I don't
think she ever said anything very like.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I don't know do you have a favorite uh oh,
a deb quote? No scene? Do you think of fond
just you remember shooting?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
I mean I loved all the stuff that Paul and
I had to do together, like just playing tricks on
each other and all the the War of the Roses. Yeah,
I mean that was my favorite. I also had a
great scene with Moira that was fun. I like comedy,
and so to be like the comedic in such a
serious show where it's a lot of you know, talking
heads and crying and all that, I think it's the
(34:47):
most fun. And I'm not necessarily into being on a sitcom,
but I love being like the comedy in a drama.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
How did the Goldbergs go for you? I haven't seen
your episodes yet. Oh, it was so much fun. And
this broad comedy that's not front of his studio audience, right,
that's like a single camera. It was single camera. Yeah, okay, okay,
have you done well? I know you did Seinfeld because
I watched Seinfeld and I'm like, who Barbara Barbara?
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Oh my gosh, yeah, you.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Know that was what episode? Would you do?
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I played, oh, someone going out with Jason Alexander, a
date of Jason Alexander. I actually, you want to hear some.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Dirt all of it. Yes, I used to date.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
Someone from that show you did, David.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I wish Michael Richard's Jerry Jerry. Oh my gosh, what
I'm weirdly attracted to you right now? Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Small World. Yes, at a comedy club, and it was
before he was Seinfeld. But he did stand up and
even watch the pilot together when he had done the pilot, Like,
you want to watch the show? I just did a
pilot O yah. Sure, And I think it wasn't picked
up to begin with. I remember not being picked up,
and then.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I got a partial pickup of like five or six episodes, okay,
and they were very very much on shaky ground. It
was a very different show that first. I think it's
like a six episode season. That's how uncertain the network
was about the show.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Wow, it goes to show how much network people don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Oh my ysh, Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Was Jerry a fun hanging? Was he funny in person?
Speaker 4 (36:32):
He's very serious about being funny. I think a lot
of comedians are that way, so serious. People like not
what you would expect.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
It's super sharp and intelligent, so smart, so so so smart.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
And so nice to fans. I mean we ended up
being friends and then I ended up doing the show
after we dated. Oh funny, that's great. Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
So you did sitcoms? You've done sitcoms in your life
with a live audience yeah, have you done a lot
of theater?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Yep? When did you do theater in Chicago before I
moved out to LA And I did something in La too,
But it's not like it's not the scene in La.
Yeah it's not, but I did. That's how I started
doing theater. And I majored in theater in college and
then just a bunch of theater played Cinderella Joy. Did
you Hammerstein?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
No? I was gonna say, wait, do you sing?
Speaker 4 (37:22):
And I didn't know this.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I do you sing?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Do?
Speaker 4 (37:25):
But not like you Well, I'm just wondering, like what
do you no?
Speaker 2 (37:30):
No? No?
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (37:31):
And we talked Broadway on set. Okay, maybe we did,
but I just loved, like, you know, I'm kind of
a nerd that way. And I remember being on the
carpet for during One Tree Hill for certain events, and
because One Tree Hill was so music heavy, they would
always say, you know, who was your favorite artist? What
(37:53):
is your favorite song? And for me, it's just Broadway.
And I always felt kind of nerdy saying that, like,
I don't know, a chorus line is my favorit? Like
is that current? I don't know. Do you see a
lot of new shows? It's it's my favorite thing in
the world.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh my gosh, wait, what have you seen? Oh lately?
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Nothing in nothing recently? Oh really nothing recently, Like.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
You don't go to the pantagous and go.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
But I did see Cinderella on Broadway and that was special. Yeah,
I mean whenever I was going more often when I
was in North Carolina because New York is so close.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
So I wish i'd done that. I wish I had
just like hopped out. Hillary did that all the time,
all the time.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah, I just the week's so fun.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Well, no often, yeah, yeah, hour.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
And a half light guys, I know, it's really did
you do it never?
Speaker 6 (38:40):
I just have listen.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
There's one thing I know. It is flight time between
major cities. Okay, it's an hour and a half hour
twenty five yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
So you're in like such a new interesting phase in life,
as you were talking about at the very beginning of this,
and it's just so it's so lovely as your friend
to see you beaming and happy. I mean, you've always
had a lightness about you, but it feels like there's
an authenticity like you're not you know, you don't have
(39:14):
to compartmentalize when you're when there are things happening in
your life that there's a lot of tension in the
personal world. That can be so difficult, and I tend
to compartmentalize anyway when things are going on like that,
And it's really fun to see you in this just
super authentic phase.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Yeah, go ahead, Well when you're you know, Mike, I've
been very focused on my girls. Yeah, since One Tree Hill,
that's really all I was focused on. Yeah, and they
started their careers and I was insistent that nobody else
would be a part of that and be on set
with them, and it was just important for me to
teach them etiquette and how to treat it, just everything
it needed to be me that was there when you
(39:52):
had three kids.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I mean, that's it's hard, a real and a full
time job, like this is a real thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
it's a huge response ability.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
But now that they're older and they're you know, when
they're eighteen, they can be and Alley's about to turn
eighteen and so kind of like my job is done.
I'm still there for them, but it's time for me it,
which is scary. I'll focus on me a little bit
and then seriously, when you start focusing on yourself and
really do love yourself and take care of yourself, things
(40:25):
start coming to you amazing, you know, Like I focused
on them, things came to them. You know, you have
to put energy in the things you're going to benefit from.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
Yeah, so yeah, I just am in a phase of
me and things are coming to me. And one of
those things was really nice.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
I just know, and I was in awe of like
the height and handsomeness caught me so off guard. Oh yeah,
I was just I walked in there and I was like,
boyfriend is so handsome and uh lovely, very warm.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
But let me tell you, like the nicest, warmest, most
loving giving person I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
That tracks, though, I'm happy to hear that, and it
also tracks because that is very much your lane.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah he I I didn't know this, Like somebody told
me that he actually is kind of famous, and I
did not.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
I did not know, Like is this true? He can
recognize way more than I do. Like it's because he's
like his presence too, you know, it's like you can't yeah,
I mean you've seen the show.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah, he was on Cops for our listener. He was
he was.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
He was an army cop. He was a cop in
the army before.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
What what does he? What does he?
Speaker 3 (41:49):
You actually don't know what? Oh, you don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I only I only just heard, but our listeners may
not know. I did just okay, okay, but I heard
like an hour ago. I didn't actual his daughter.
Speaker 4 (42:01):
Was on the Bachelor, and she would his daughter was
on the Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
You didn't know, I didn't know. Okay.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Her name's Kelsey. She's beautiful, she's wonderful. All of his
kids are. But his daughter was on the Bachelor. And
you know, at the end of The Bachelor, they go
to hometown. They introduced to theirs three remaining girls, and
they take the Bachelor home to meet their family. And
Mark was there being all cute and dimply and sweet
(42:30):
and like, who's that guy the producers the background, he's
the dad. And I'm watching the show with my girls
because we always watched the show. It's like a mindless
sorry Bachelor, but it was just like a brainless, mindless
I'm sorry, and I think that's probably but one of
my favorite shows of all time. But you can turn
your brain off pretty much, so and teaching them what
(42:52):
not to do, and we used to count it towards
school the Bachelor. I'm not getting one hour school, yep,
and so kind of interested in him. I'm like, oh,
see if he has an Instagram, what's his name, Martin.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Oh, he's an.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Instagram not many followers, but I'm gonna DM him. And
then I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed
his dimples. So then he was at the final episode
of her show. He was in the audience, and I'm
watching with Ali and like, oh, there's my boyfriend, the
one I DM. I'm like, oh, I wonder if you
(43:27):
ever responded. He didn't respond to me, So then they
announced that he's going to be on the Golden Bachelorette
as a contestant. Oh, like taking my boyfriend away from me.
Then I DM him again, like I don't know what
I say. It was so corny whatever I said, like
you have a cute smile, You're going to go a
long way in life or something stupid, and still didn't respond.
(43:49):
But then I realized he's not responding because he's already
on the show because they take their phones away, Like
maybe that's why he's not responding. And then he got
kicked off and I'm watching every week to see if
my boyfriend's gonna get kicked off the show. I've never
really spoken, watching feeling like we know him but we don't,
(44:10):
and like, oh he's still on. Oh, she really likes him.
Like and then he got kicked off. And by the
time he got kicked off, he had already responded to me.
So we started talking through social media or whatever. And
then you go the next step, texting, and then you
go the next step and you talk, and we started
talking and it's been NonStop.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Barbarack.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
He's such a good guy.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Oh my gosh, I just.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
Have to get used to being with good people. Like
he's a good guy.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
How do your daughters feeling?
Speaker 4 (44:42):
They love him? Oh, probably more even than I do.
They love him and they love seeing me happy, and
they love seeing me being treated correctly. And he's just
so soft spoken, but when he speaks, it's just means something.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah. I love people like that. Yeah, I want to
be one of those people. I'm not there, Oh me neither,
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
I talk all the time.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
Your daughters are constantly pulling you aside, like mom, do
not blow.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
This, do not all of us, and you're not, like
it's the truth. I'll get a little unhealthy from time
to time and I'll say something, but do you think
he's mom? No, he's everything. Like they just would be
so mad at me if I know.
Speaker 5 (45:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
The thing I've been thinking about lately is that we're
professional at instant intimacy. You know how to just create
instant intimacy and it's lovely and it gives us all
those dopamine feelings that you want, but we're not taking
the time to build the found in real life. If
we do that, which we're so good at, it's so easy.
So it's like, oh, here's my little thing trick I
(45:56):
can pull out of my hat. But if you don't
take the time to actually build the foundation in real life, yeah,
then the instant intimacy is just cheap and it goes
away cheaply. To like, it's easy to make it go away,
it's easy to second guess it and all that stuff.
So it's so important to take that time.
Speaker 4 (46:11):
It was kind of nice because our relationship started on
the phone, so all we did was talk. Yeah, and
so you like, if you have that, you know, connection
with a guy, like sometimes you jump into things, maybe
you shouldn't so quickly but we just talked. I mean,
we did a lot of phone sex.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
But I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 4 (46:28):
I'm kidding now, I'm kidding, kidding, we did, but but no, no, no,
I'm serious. Like you get to know something if that's
all you have, Yeah, then it's not.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
So much about like feeding your ego. Then you know
the instant gratification of like instant intimacy. Is it feels
so good, but it's it Is it really about our
connection or is it just about the fact that this
feels good to me and it's about me.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Yes, it can become a substitute for true intimacy. Yes, yeah,
it's a band. It can be a crutch, that's what
it's give me, be a crutch as opposed to the
phone when all you got is like questions and answers.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
And he would pause for ten seconds because that's what
he does when he's talking. I've learned thinking let it be.
So now what I'm going to say is like, but
on the phone, it's like, what's wrong?
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (47:18):
What's wrong? Yeah, he's like what I'm just thinking, Like, okay,
you're okay because you paused for three seconds, you know, Yeah,
he's great. He's great, he cooks, he's like, he takes
care of his kids, like he loves me. He came
with you to this weekend?
Speaker 3 (47:38):
Here?
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Is he actually great?
Speaker 3 (47:40):
With? What?
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Is he here? Here? Here?
Speaker 3 (47:42):
He's here right his literal hand?
Speaker 2 (47:45):
I know, but I know I met him too, But like,
is he here in the hallway? Does he want to
say hi?
Speaker 4 (47:49):
He would, yes, you would make sure that I wanted
him to, Okay, And then.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Does he know that you want him to? Do you
want to him in?
Speaker 4 (47:59):
See if he's still he's like making out with some
girl out there?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
No, do you feel insecure about that stuff? Like do
you feel a little paranoid that? It's like I.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
Will always be insecure in relationships period. But he's so good.
All I need to say is give me some reassurance.
Yeah he's there. Yeah, that's great. And he just does
understand why I'm insecure with him. But you know it's great.
He's not he's recognized and you call him famous whatever,
(48:31):
but from you know, if you've seen that show, you
would know who he is. And he gets recognized a lot,
but he's not in Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Yeah, so it's almost like.
Speaker 4 (48:39):
The best of both worlds. Like he's gotten a little
taste of it.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Oh my god, she is here. Okay, we're having a
total party here right now. You guys, thank you all of.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Your This is drama queens after dark, It.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Really and it is after dark.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
I there we go. Let's start storming, get deep.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
We should have had you in here when we were
saying all the nice things about you. We were just
listening to Barbara.
Speaker 4 (49:09):
I told him that when we met, all we have
is the phone, and so we just had to do
a lot of phone sex. And then I was kidding,
and then I was kidding.
Speaker 3 (49:21):
No, that's a fun one to walk into, right Mark.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Yeah, ambush, ambush. Oh. We were just talking about how
it's like, I don't know if you experienced this because
I haven't done any reality TV, but this instant intimacy
that as actors we have to, you know, jump in
immediately and like you say hi and shake somebody's hand
and then rip your heart open and have to be
really close, and then you get into this habit that
(49:46):
then it starts to translate into your real life with
friends or relationships or whatever, and suddenly you find yourself
like having tried to skip the the hard part of
the building process, but actually you're cutting yourself out of
something that is so foundational and important. Yeah, I don't
know how. I don't know how. I have no idea
(50:07):
how what it's like on reality TV if there's some
sort of you did one season so this You're not
like a reality TV veteran where you're okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
But there must have there must have been a sense
of pressure though for there to be like sparks and.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Chemistry intimacy on a bachelor show.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
There's no slow burn all out on a show like that, right.
Speaker 6 (50:28):
Yeah, No, not really.
Speaker 8 (50:30):
I mean, because the whole idea of it, I think
is to hurry up and create a connection.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
You know, did that feel inauthentic? Did it feel like easy?
I mean, how did that feel?
Speaker 6 (50:44):
It was very different? I mean that's you know, I'm not.
Speaker 8 (50:48):
A fast kind of person normally, you know, I'm a
pretty slow.
Speaker 6 (50:55):
Kind of slow person.
Speaker 4 (51:00):
A lot of pauses in between words like that.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
I pause a lot.
Speaker 8 (51:04):
Yet you know that the spinning wheel of death on
a computer it says I'm thinking, and it was.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
It was like the best Christmas present.
Speaker 4 (51:14):
But the thing is he wasn't attracted to her at all,
so that made it like that was hard for him
because he wasn't, you know, the bachelorette. I'm just saying this.
He wasn't attracted to her.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
At all, so shots fired.
Speaker 4 (51:29):
Yeah, I mean, I'm just guessing, right, he couldn't stand
waiting for you're right?
Speaker 3 (51:41):
I mean, you're right, well done, Mark, well done a little.
Was there any sort of like coaxing or like gentle
encouragement from the production staff on, like, hey, if we
could find a moment here, like was it? Were they
ever trying to you're you in a direction? No? I
(52:03):
think they.
Speaker 8 (52:03):
I mean they need things to kind of grow organically,
you know, but sometimes organically isn't quick enough. Yeah, yeah,
you know it is. It's it has to play out.
But it is a compressed schedule, you know, So I
don't I don't think they steer it.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Yeah, it's got to be tough for producers because if
every relationship is forced and then every one of them
falls apart when the show is over, it's got to
have a bad track record. So they want they've got
to want to have some sort of some successful relationships
come out of the show.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
It said, isn't the track record of those shows horrendous.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Actually don't know so well oh okay.
Speaker 6 (52:46):
Yeah, well, I mean but it's it's also.
Speaker 8 (52:50):
You know, I think a big part of it, like
I didn't experience what the younger.
Speaker 4 (52:57):
The younger shows.
Speaker 8 (53:00):
I was lik in this Golden Bachelorette, you know, which
is I was the youngest person on there.
Speaker 4 (53:06):
You know, Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 6 (53:08):
So you know everybody was.
Speaker 3 (53:12):
We're civilized.
Speaker 8 (53:14):
There was no you know, competitive I mean, there was competitiveness,
but there wasn't like the drama that you saw on
you know that appear on the younger shows, because it
wasn't a big jealousy thing.
Speaker 6 (53:25):
Everyone was comfortable with themselves. You know.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
I recall catch actually a clip from The Golden Bachelor,
and I was so shocked to see the women being
kind to each other and like cheering each other up. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
See, this is what happens you hit this point in
your life where you're like, oh, we we're setting examples
for our daughters, for young women. We want to actually
to encourage each other. That's nice to know, such a
nice change.
Speaker 3 (53:51):
Yeah, because it's just it's hard to watch people constantly
undercutting and being frum me to each other and see
all of a sudden, they were like, get him, girl,
getting I was.
Speaker 4 (54:02):
Watch great, Yeah, you would love it. You should watch.
And these guys were so supportive of each other and
just they were just like, I mean, they're still all
in touch with each other.
Speaker 8 (54:13):
Yeah, by far, the best experience I've had in my life.
Like in my adult life, I have never shared the emotion,
felt so safe and secure in an environment to talk
about emotion.
Speaker 6 (54:26):
Like I grew up.
Speaker 8 (54:27):
My adult life has been military like oriented. You know,
for the military, an emotion wasn't something that was feelings
and emotion wasn't wasn't talked about. Like there's a time
and a place, and that wasn't the time or the place.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
To be in a place a camera in your face.
Speaker 8 (54:47):
To be in a place where you could sit down
and talk with other men that were in the same
boat as me, you know, got in on different docks,
is what I like to say. You know, everybody got
in on a different dock. They were divorced, so they'd
lost their spouse to you know whatever. But they were
all single, you know, when we're in the same boat.
So to be able to talk with them about their
(55:08):
experiences and you know, how.
Speaker 6 (55:09):
They related with their kids. How they you know, how
did they date after you know, being older?
Speaker 8 (55:16):
You know, how does that happen? It was incredible, Like
it was. It was an enriching experience for me.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Wow, and something amazing came out of it. Astely got
this message from Barbara and your Instagram. I love it.
Speaker 3 (55:30):
It's like you have don that moment. Oh I'm not
getting the girl. But then you got your phone back
and look who slid into.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
And you're like, oh, and by the way, his daughter
won this. Well, I say one, that's horrible thing to say,
but was the chosen one. So there so her his
daughter is engaged to the bachelor of that season, so
they will eventually get married.
Speaker 6 (56:03):
YEA.
Speaker 2 (56:03):
Life is so weird, I know, like could you ever
have imagined? And you're never like Kelsey.
Speaker 8 (56:10):
Remember I remember when Kelsey left, you know, when she
left home to go to filming. She was home the
weekend before she left, and you know, and I was like,
you know, Kelsey, you're you're.
Speaker 6 (56:21):
Far braver than I because she went to go do
this show.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
God was like, right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (56:29):
It was.
Speaker 6 (56:30):
It was pretty incredible.
Speaker 3 (56:34):
Well, I'm so happy for both of you. It's a
pleasure to finally meet you, because I've been seeing the
pictures on Instagram and you both look so happy and
your daughters look so happy. Yeah, you deserve it, Thank you,
you deserve a wow.
Speaker 2 (56:50):
I'm just asking in the glow. It's fabulous. I wish
you all could be here to see. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
Tune in on YouTube, everybody.
Speaker 2 (56:58):
Yeah, that's right, all right?
Speaker 3 (57:01):
How do you want to wrap it up?
Speaker 2 (57:03):
Joy with some tequila? Really?
Speaker 3 (57:07):
I have I have one more question? Rank your daughters?
All right, maybe we've already done that. Yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (57:20):
Are, You're the best. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (57:21):
You guys are and I enjoy every single episode and
you guys are just killing it and I'm just like, support,
support support. Did you see I responded to something that
you're the funniest guy in the world At some point
you didn't. I don't think you responded. Guys, just guys
do not respond to that.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
Must have been like was it a comment on an
Instagram post?
Speaker 4 (57:44):
I think I no, I think I DMed you, but
let me check.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
But it was.
Speaker 4 (57:50):
It was quite a compliment, like it was a superlative.
For sure.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
We have this episode up because I am dying.
Speaker 4 (57:57):
Okay, I mean, I'll find it.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
If you did allegedly.
Speaker 8 (58:02):
No, I did.
Speaker 2 (58:03):
I you're so like like I can let a lot
of things roll off. I know I keep track of,
but there are certain things security of, like oh, I
message that person and they did not.
Speaker 4 (58:13):
Message me back.
Speaker 2 (58:13):
Now I'm not mad at that really, but made a
decision about how I feel about it. I'm just like
I get pitied in my memory. I'll not forget.
Speaker 4 (58:19):
I will use it at some point.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
Clearly you forgave and did not forget. Yes, no, I'm
not saying no.
Speaker 4 (58:27):
I can promise you I'm going to find it and
I'll show you.
Speaker 3 (58:30):
Okay, So you.
Speaker 4 (58:35):
And I think I even said, oh my god, he's
so funny, look at this. And I think I showed
you and I said, I'm going to dmm, and I did.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Are you a little nerrodivergent too? I don't know the
fact that you, like you can keep track of all
we need to Joy, I know we're long overdue. We
just need we need time.
Speaker 3 (58:51):
I loved anything. Okay, I'm lying.
Speaker 4 (58:55):
Okay, I'm lying.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
So she's a wonderful mother, a talented actress. And thanks
for joining us with Barbarro.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Allenwoods, Burldwoods, everybody.
Speaker 2 (59:08):
Hey, thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
Don't forget to leave us a review.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queens
O t H.
Speaker 4 (59:15):
Or email us at Drama Queens at iHeartRadio dot com.
See you next time we.
Speaker 2 (59:22):
All about that high school drama.
Speaker 1 (59:24):
Girl Drama Girl, all about them high school queens.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
We'll take you for a ride at our comic girl
sharing for the right teams. Drama queenslease my girl, up
girl fashion with your tough girl.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
You could sit with us Girl Drama Queens, Drama Queise,
Drama Queens, Drama Drama Queens, Drama Queens
First of all, you don't know me. All about that
high school drama girl drama girl, all about.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Them high school queens. We'll take you for a ride.
And our comic girl shared for the right teams Drama Queens,
Jaylie's my girl, up girl fashion, but your tough girl,
you could sit with us.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Queens Drama, Drahma Queens
Drama Queens.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hi Friends, welcome in. We have another special episode for
you today, coming from none other than Wilmington, North Carolina.
I am joined by the one and only b Jail.
That's Bethany joy Lens for you people who aren't hip,
and we have an extraordinarily cool guest. I was so
(00:48):
excited when I heard about this booking because she happens
to be one of my new favorite friends, the life
of every party, and everyone's favorite nanny slash ex wife
slash firecrackers.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
X addict X what is hato on Tripper? Like?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yeah, the one and only Barbara Allen woods Hight.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Guys, we're just debating, is it Babs? Is it Barbie?
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Is all of the above anything that starts with b
okay beautiful? Yeah, all those.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Things anything yes, Babe, brave, I go with babe, I
love bad.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
We're going there, we go.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You're saying you always got this rep you got the
reputation as a party girl.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Well, I know it's since One Tree Hill. I have
this reputation as a party girl. It's since One Tree Hill.
I think so like people think that of me, and
I feel like it's just such a bubble burst when
they find out I'm kind of a homebody. Yeah, but
I think it's also because I'm I'm an open book
like you guys, I'm now inviting you to open my
book because I just like, I just say how I
(01:55):
feel all the time. And so when they asked me
to host certain things like events, I'm out there and
I tell it like it is, and I put people
in their place, and that I think they think that
I'm just like a crazy, wild party girl.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Well, having spent some time with you at the last
convention in Paris that we did together, I will say
I think it's just also because you have such a
lightness to you and energy, and it just seems like
you are You're genuinely enjoying like wherever you are, and
so I think it's very easy to confuse that with
(02:29):
like a party girl, yeah, because usually it takes people
booze to just be like in an ordinary setting. But
that's just kind of the energy you carry with you
wherever you go.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
And it sounds really corny, but I really do enjoy
One Tree Hill events. I mean they make me happy,
like the reunion with these some of my favorite people.
I do so it's genuine, you know, I don't like
fake the happiness and I'm having a good time. I
really am having a good time.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But you're consistent. You're consistent in your which is one
of my favorite qualities in people anyway. Is that the
joy that we see in you here whenever we come.
When I see you outside of these environments too, you're
the same when I talk to you on the phone
and be like, you're just you have a as a webside,
you have a lightness, there's an effor escence.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
And I feel supportive of my castmates in general, you know.
I mean that makes me feel like I'm saying, oh,
I'm a saint or something, but I really do. Like
I went to the concerts last night. I love going
to your concert I love wherever Tyler is. I'm like, oh,
can I be there, you know, just like to support support,
because we all kind of came from the same place.
(03:35):
You guys are off doing so many other things now,
but it's like, why.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Not, you know, we kind of get to reclaim some
time that we didn't get to. We didn't know how
to do that for each and kind of making up
for me and maybe making up for lost time.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
I never knew the second half of the show. I
never knew you guys, and I knew you and Joy.
Oh my god, so many things. This is a whole
other podcast, but so many things I wish we had
spoken about. Yeah, we were working together every day, Like
I don't know, it's just so maybe for me it
is making up for lost time. Yeah, for making up
(04:12):
for time that I wish I had spent a tiny
bit differently when I was doing the show. But I
was so focused on raising kids full time. Yeah, so
I would work and go home, race kids, work, go home,
race kids.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah. So, An, you were all in that stage of
life in a different way. Yeah. I wasn't raising kids,
but I was obviously had my own crazy world going on,
and we're all, you know, we were all in that
phase of life where we were keeping our work separate
from our personal lives, which makes sense. Everybody wants to
be professional. But it when I if I did it
again in another place that was insular, like Wilmington is,
(04:46):
I really would want to invest in the people that
I was working with.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
How I feel. Yeah, yeah, well.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
That's what these conventions are. I mean, that's what they
were for me. Was that like we got to come
back as adults, and I just realized how great the
group is and it is like we talk all the time.
It's like strong summer camp vibes, you know. Because when
I was doing the show, like I had my own
stuff going on. Everyone else had their own stuff going on,
so we didn't really get to know each other. And
then it was sort of like we all like left
(05:14):
war and then we came back once we like did
some healing and we went, oh, you're actually a cool person.
Yeah I like you. Yeah great.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
And also when we were in Paris, because it was
like hours were long and long, there were a lot
of people and we love our Paris fans and it's
a lot of emotion, and I felt like we were
all in the trenches together, like in the green room
was like the trenches, but we were in it together.
We're going to get through this together. So it's like
a bonding experience.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You know, you've worked so long that you've had such
an illustrious career, and is it illustrious or illustrious, I'm
not sure what the right word is, but either way,
it's been fabulous. Have you found this kind of energy
on a lot of other sets that you've been on,
Like it was a unique.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
You know, you always have a few people, you know, it's, oh,
we're a family, We're going to keep in touch, and
it's so hard, but I do have a few from
other shows that you know, years years, years ago, and
they're still a part of my family, which is amazing.
And if you can get the like pick out a
few special people to carry with you to the rest
of you know, for the rest of your life, it's
(06:22):
really special. But these conventions, and I know this has
been said a hundred times, but this is keeping us together.
These conventions are keeping us together, and I don't know,
I just hope they never die because.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Because that's the tree Hill forever. If we didn't have
these conventions, I would be hard. I wouldn't have almost
any of the relationships I have with one Tree Hill
cast members today.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
And yeah, podcast, you know, keeping people together. No, it's
it's good. It's all good. We're all such special people,
special special people.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Just jump right into Okay, you have had a lot
of TV daughters. So here's my question for you. Who
was your favorite TV daughter? Your real life daughter Natalie,
or your real life daughter.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Emily Robert or my real life daughter Allie Ally played
your daughter for an entire series.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh was that, Chuckie.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, I thought that.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Was Emily for some reason.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
That was But I did play Emily's daughter. I played
Emily's daughter in a pilot, I played her mother, and
then on The Goldbergs, I played Natalie's mother.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oh my gosh. The Goldbergs great.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
And now let's make it all three of your real
life doors. I want you to rank them, Rob.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You can't. I told you.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
For it.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Well, first of all, I liked my character the most
that I played against Alie. Okay, I liked that character
the most because she was just a raging, crazy, you know,
hot mess, and it was so much fun because she
was a regular on the show, and so we were
running lines at home, we were living together, you know,
(08:10):
not at home, not in La So we were living
together in an apartment, just the two of us and
having to run these lines where I was just the
worst mother in the world and we could literally not
look at each other without laughing. And I didn't know
if we would be able to make it to set,
Like I didn't know how we would be on set.
I thought we were going to be unprofessional, like we
couldn't get through because we couldn't make it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Like really hard to call her names and to be
so horrible to her and look in her eyes. But
then when we got there, it was it was great.
So I'd have to say that experience and my cheating
because I'm not choosing Ali, but the experience with Alie
I'll choose. It's But the Goldbergs was a comedy. That's
my favorite thing to do. I love doing comedy, so
(08:51):
that was yeah. And then Emily. I just love hanging
out with Emily, so that was really political answer.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
So what I heard though was that it was nowhere
near clothes. It was Olivia first place, Natalie second place,
in an adduced in third Ama.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
But the thing is Alie's here with me right now too,
is she.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
So oh, we just saw her when we came in.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
She's so fun. She's got that same energy that you do.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
By the way, she really carries that same and Natalie
and I know all three girls. And when I see
Natalie and I run into her at like events, which
is the last time I saw her with some event,
She's like, she's so beautiful and she's so intelligent, and
she's but she's got it's not like the lightness, but
she's not like edgy.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
She's like she's super warm.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
She's warm, so much warm.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yes, the same thing.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Wow, yes, incredibly, AMI's like crazy smart, super edgy. She's got. Yes,
she's also got a warmth to her. I mean she's
not cold, but it's it's different.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
She's cool. When you call me extraordinarily cool, Like no
one has ever called me that because I'm not cool.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Instagram get out there, you.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Passed it down. I mean, I have a cool life,
but I'm not cool.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
I'm cool with Joy and I are supremely cool. We
only hang out people.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
You have a cool energy. I don't. It's okay, I'm
fine with that. But Emily has a cool energy.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Do you think is there anyone else in the industry.
You can think of who has worked with their children
and the capacity.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
That you have.
Speaker 7 (10:38):
It's yeah, so you've worked in a you've recreated your
parent child dynamic with all three of your children. I
can't think of anyone else who's done that.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
And I homeschooled all of them too, And I mean
we're friends somehow still because they've spent a lot of
time with me.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
It sounds like someone might be extraordinarily cool.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Yeah, But Nadalie's producing now, so I'm like, oh, she's
a producer now, she can hire all of us. That's perfect.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Get this gang. Ray, the founder of Friends with Benefits,
the convention company that runs these amazing events that we
are currently at, has been working on and designed a
one Tree Hill Fiend Airbnb. Yeah, andwhere else but Wilmington,
North Carolina. And get this gang. It is available for
(11:40):
booking now on the Airbnb app.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
This is such a cool idea. I remember us talking
about this a while ago and we never actually followed
through that. I'm so glad somebody else did.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
The FWB team, led by Ray, Brittany and Jannita, along
with a ton of help from volunteers, are officially turning
trick back into the actual trick like the night club
in the show. For more updates about that and other events,
follow FWB on Instagram at FWB Charity Events.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Are you a better teacher or actor? Oh?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Oh, I'm a really good acting teacher.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Yeah, well with my.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Office, with a tremendous job, with my god, these questions.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I mean, I've often been approached about coaching people because
of their success, but I don't think I could coach
anyone other than my daughters, because I you know, I'm
like tough. I'm tough, and I feel like I can
be tough with them, But I don't think I could
be tough with and I have to coach people who
(12:49):
are already good, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I couldn't teach someone to be good, but I don't
know if anyone can. I mean, you either know how
to act or you don't. You know, you have an
instinct to know how to tell a story, or isn't
it funny?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, isn't I think?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
I think so too. It's something you're born with, But.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Whether you are a professional actor and pursue it or
not doesn't necessarily make the qualification I think it's just
like people inherently either have the ability to feel comfortable
in whatever environment and just share their story, yeah or not.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
And I'm not necessarily into coaching in general, but that's
a whole other thing. But I think because they were
my kids, I could just you know, teach them the
basics and just to trust their instincts and you know,
things like that.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
But so did I answer, I was more speaking to
the homeschooling.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Yeah, yeah, okay, I was a really good teacher. First
of all, I was a good student in school. I
was I was, you know, an a student. So school
was really important to me. And when my kids decided
they wanted to graduate early because their actors, it was
a big deal to me that I was taking school
(13:57):
away from them because just the social like what I
what I got out of school socially was a lot
for me, and I carried that with me through life.
So it was a little bit sad to me that
I was taking that away. Homecoming dances and just you know,
friends and hanging the lockers and like they don't know
how to do a locker code because they've never been
to school, pe all those things you know, after school,
(14:21):
eating lunch in the cafeteria, like, they're not going to
have those things.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I experienced in Wintrell, all of our characters exactly.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
So school was important to me, so I made sure
that they had all those little I even had a
homecoming dance for Ali. I threw a homecoming dance. It
was a prom, not homecoming a prom. But I was
a good teacher because it was important to me. And
also I became an actress, and I was a little
sad that I didn't pursue anything, you know, in the
(14:52):
other fields. I wanted to be an English teacher, and
so in the program that I had them, and I
was able to choose any subjects and go as heavy
or light as I wanted to. And they took tests
at the end and they had to show that they
were proficient. But it was very heavy arts because it
(15:13):
seemed as though that was the direction they were going anyway. Yeah,
I wasn't trying to manipulate them into the arts, but
it seemed like that was the direction they were going.
So we would watch classics. So if you ask my daughters,
you know their favorite movies, they'll know the classics. They'll
know you know who Elizabeth Taylor is and they've seen
all of her movies. And then we would for science,
(15:34):
which was not my strong point, we would watch documentaries
and or movies about science and homeschool. I was so
fun able to just I don't know, Taylor, their education
to what they seemed to be interested in and where
their paths were going. So I wonder if that's one
(15:56):
of the reasons why. You know, it's so rare a
thing to meet kids who grew up in LA who
are children of entertainment professionals who are normal and down
to earth and cool and actually like really healthy. And
as you're talking about being their acting teacher and teaching
(16:16):
them how to trust their instincts, there's something especially for
young women about learning at a young age how to
trust your instinct and.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Be okay with that. Yes, that is pretty pretty formative.
I bet that's played a huge role. I mean, I'm
not their mother, but I would assume from listening to
what you're saying that played a huge role in who
they are today and why they're so healthy and grounded.
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Yeah, and not being over coached. Yeah, And I think
a lot of you know, when you're not in the
business and you're a parent who wants to get your
kids into the business because they're precocious or there, they
seem to have talent, or they're good looking or whatever,
and then you us to get them coached and coached
and coached and coached, and they stop thinking for themselves.
And so for me, it was just it was really
(16:58):
all about don't think. Don't think.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
It creates a massive amount of insecurity as well, I
think because then you're constantly focused on yourself all the time.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
Yes, so as a young actor, as a young.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Actor, Yeah, so that's it sounds like you've I've always
been in awe of your ability as a mother.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
That is the nicest compliment.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I truly have. You always felt like a safe play
and I we were texting the other day about this,
but you always felt like a safe place to me
on set, and I didn't I didn't know necessarily how
to ask for advice or how many times, but even
like I mean that time I had to put my
cat down and Barbara came over and was like there
with me while I had to put my cat. The
cavet came over and Barbara just sat with me because
(17:38):
I was like, I need a mom, and I don't
want to do this alone. I'm like, twenty two, I
don't want to put my hat down alone.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Really twenty two. And I thought I didn't have a
twenty two year old then, so I thought of you as,
you know, an adult, like yeah, but now I know
what twenty two is. Oh my god, I'm really young.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
So young. Yeah, so you always felt it was such
a safe place. I'm just so lucky that we got
you on the show.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
But once again, I would love to do it again
and be there more for you and more for all
the girls, and to be because I think I've always
been a mom, Like I'm very maternal. I knew when
I was ten years old I wanted to be a
mom and even done with my friends, I was maternal.
So I wish I would have had more time with
all of you to mother you and just to be
(18:27):
there and you id But like I said, I didn't
think of you as young because you were all so
you acted so mature. I don't know what you were
feeling inside.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, but feeling like we were fourteen, like what are
we doing here? Just raising ourselves? Yeah, so weird?
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Yeah, not living at home?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
And I know, so do you have advice for like
what advice do you have as a mom? Like what
are some of the best pieces of advice that you've
been given or that you've learned.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
What I've learned is the less you react when they
they're going to hear this and that's my secret's going
to be gone. But the less you react when they
tell you something shocking, the more they'll tell you yes.
And even if you don't agree with what they've done
or what they're telling you, go with it because they're
(19:18):
telling you because they either need to get it off
their chest or they they need advice, or they trust you.
And if you go what you did that, you know,
like the less judgmental you are, the more they'll confide
in you, which has been really hard Emily. My Metal
just tells me everything, and sometimes you don't want to
(19:41):
hear certain things, but you just have to go with it.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
Like okay, it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
And then you know you're not going to cut, you know,
cut the communication off, because as soon as you are
judging them.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It's over.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
That feels like really consistent advice in terms of your
personality as well, because you provide that space for everybody
I think that you come into contact with you feel judge.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
Yeah, you want people in your life who don't judge you.
That's right, unconditional space.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And the same thing with the toddler. Right, it's like
the bigger reaction you have to them doing something, the
better the odds they're going to keep doing.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It, yes, you know, or they'll be they'll be terrified
and won't ever take risks again.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Yeah, there's that too.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's a big deal with a toddler. What are what
are some of your big pieces of advice that you
feel like you've already garnered wisdom on, Like, ah, okay,
here's the hack.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I have two mantras that I have been leaning on heavily,
and especially in December when the whole family got COVID
so everyone was at like eight percent. Yeah, I really
leaned into this is funny because it was something like
it was part of the script for our kids. But
I ended up using it myself, which is I can
(20:59):
do hard things, so like I would, I'd be having
moments where I was literally at my wits end, like
the very best I could do was to not make
the situation worse, and I would actually say aloud.
Speaker 6 (21:11):
I can do hard things.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
And my kid would look at me like what is
Dad melting down? But it would like it would rain
me in. And then I heard I heard another one
two days ago. Jenny told me, you know, when he's
having a big feelings, there's a simple question, would you
like to be heard, helped or hugged?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Wow? And I have all three yes and yes, all
three are totally.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
And then the last thing, because it's the third, is
this is just when I just remind myself because I
didn't realize how much anxiety I have until I heard
the way I would be talking to like to our son,
so you know, like he would spill the oneter and
be like money, bunny, Bunny money. I was like, oh wait,
he's going to pick this up like I need And.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Then you hear him do it.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Yes, And so I always remind myself like slow down, soften,
just don't take it all so seriously. Yeah, and it
kind of helps me rain it and like it's just
water on the floor. Yeah, you know, like because I
can catch myself getting like a little too tight on
the reins, like and it's like.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
And they pick up your energy, They just pick up
your energy. It's you know, yeah, whatever you're feeling. Sometimes
I'm in a really good mood and I notice people
like my kids are in good moods, like wait, why
did I start that train? Like did I? Am I
the one who's like creating this? Or if I'm not
in a good mood, same thing, like why are you
(22:34):
so crabby? Well, because you are. You're like, oh, I'm
the one who has to be like the happy one here, Okay,
I got it. And you're well you're in the teenage
teen years.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Yeah, wow, isn't that nuts?
Speaker 4 (22:46):
And a girl teenage?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah? Superd are you doing I'm doing great?
Speaker 4 (22:51):
You're doing good.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, she's great. She's so polite and kind and like
it's it's fun and you know, I mean it's just
been the two of us for so yeah life really, Yeah,
we have we have our we have our thing. I
mean I think that's it. Just like don't get on
the roller coaster. Come to show up to the theme
park with them, but like you stay on the ground
(23:13):
and they get to go on the roller coaster. Yes,
and I'm just here when you get off the ride
way for the top while you're at the top. But yeah, no,
it's it's been It's been really a joy. Truly, I
feel I feel so lucky.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
It's besting ever.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah, it is ever. Well, you got to be the
mom of a boy on One Treo, and I wondered, like.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
How how debt? Like how Deb?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
We've had you on the show before, so I don't
remember which questions we've already asked you or not, but
like I wanted to know how Deb came to be
the personality that she became.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Is that funny because it was because she went downhill?
She felt so much like this.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
It was very much what I think of as like
a boy mom like she was really she was really
kind of strong and tough and like had everything in
all her ducks in a row and everything was very
not chaotic, and then the world just all started falling out.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
I don't think they had what happened to Dub. I
don't think was planned. I think this is my theory
and I might have said this on the podcast before,
but my theory is that, well, first of all, the
writers on One Tree Hill really wrote I think for
us as they got to know us, maybe wrote to
our strengths, yeah, maybe added some comedy or not, and
(24:42):
maybe tried to press some buttons, some emotional buttons where
we didn't want them to trusim. Yes, but I think
that when they got to know me and they knew
I was sort of up for fun, party, party, Barbara, party,
Babs whatever, they knew I was up for fun and
just kind of like, yeah, throw me some fun, exciting
(25:03):
stuff to do that. At that point, Deb started going
downhill because.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
She became you know, Cayo.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yes, yes, you were never having more fun, Like it
was so much more fun to play a character like that.
When I go back and watch the beginning episode, she's
just boring, Like that character is just like, Okay, let's
have some fun.
Speaker 7 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
What was the sort of initial conceit of Deb, Like,
how how big of a role was supposed to have?
What did it look like?
Speaker 4 (25:31):
Dad was a three episode arc?
Speaker 3 (25:33):
God, you didn't do so well? Yeah, but you overstayed
your welcome.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Yeah, and this is even better. I was on another
show at the same time, not a regular but a
recurring role in LA and I knew that one Treehill
wanted me for three episodes. I was in love with
this character. I just love I was in love with
the show, the writing, and I don't think I saw
into the future that I would be there further than
(26:04):
three episodes, but I really wanted those three episodes. But
I had to choose between the two shows, and the
other show would have possibly taken me further as well,
and I had to choose, and I chose One Tree
Hill knowing that it was only three episodes. So then
when they extended and I and on top of it,
I never went home. So after three episodes, they said,
(26:24):
would they want to keep you here? So I didn't
even pack for it. I didn't even I never even
went home. So yeah, and then.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
You were here for five years.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
How I always remember, I mean I always forget how
many I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
But we were just watching episodes, like a Thanksgiving episode
that I directed, and you weren't there.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
I was like, where is Dan weird death disappearing. It's
like when Dan goes away.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
No one explained it away. No one explained it, which is.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
More than Dan.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Yes, And all of a sudden, she just shows up
one day with Jamie, I think as the babysitter or
something like. No one ever really in.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Eight, you're just gone. Did you ever get a phone call?
Were you working on other things?
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Yeah? Seven I really honestly don't remember. I think season
eight I moved back to La so I must have
thought I wasn't coming back. I don't remember. Like the series.
I think they were going to have me come like
an occurring basis or something. I don't really remember, but.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Come back for the end I did. Okay, I don't
remember yet.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Was season seven though, when Skills and Dead had a thing?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
No, it was like five. I think it was early
I should know this, but I think that was five.
And then they broke up, you guys broke up and
then you helped us the nanny Carey thing. Yeah, it
was psychotic and season six maybe I remember exact.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
And I had Allie I think season five. Yeah, so
I had to leave for a little bit to have her.
And yeah, well we missed a lot of lunch.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
We're really missing you on the show right now as
we're watching.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
What are you on right now?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Eight twelve?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Yeah, well what's happening? So Brooke and Julian are almost
about to get married? Okay, And you'll never believe me,
My god, I didn't.
Speaker 4 (28:24):
Watch you guys, watch you guys. I watched the whole
show with Allie, not at the time, now Ali wanted
to watch all nine. Now she wants she's starting over.
She's a mega fan now, and it's so different for
her to be here. Well she knew you already, but
like to know everybody, and being here is different because
she used to go to the conventions of me and
not really no everybody, but same here. Like I didn't
(28:46):
see your work until recently you got You're good.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
You're so good.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
It really good so much.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
It was the same with you. I hadn't because we
never crossed paths. Yeah, it wasn't until the rewatch It's.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Like, oh, you're so good.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Oh yeah, that's that's right, just.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Like kind of like two different shows. But I mean,
I wish I'd come back and entered your storyline.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
That would have been so much fun. I mean, what
would deb and Clay have gotten into.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Oh oh my goodness, we would have hadn't a fair
Oh oh absolutely, As.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
I stopped for a second because Quinn, yeah, oh I
would I.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Mean Quinn went off to like, oh no, she said
she was going to forgo or something, but she didn't
go the right age.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
Oh yeah, oh yeah eighteen.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
I know this because I think the character was supposed
to be remember when I got the job. I think
the character is supposed to be like early thirties, and
I was twenty eight or twenty nine, and so I
was like, it's They're like, it's cool, just grow out
your facial hair. And so if you go back and
watch my first two episodes, I have a very unconvincing.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Do to make you look a one year older, truly,
to the.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Point where it gets abandoned, like one or two episodes
in the season seven because I was like, I don't
think that in La was.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Like her face, but you were playing an adult with
the job, So yeah, that would have been perfect fit.
My god, damn, oh well that so many in another way.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Would club Would that be our couple of men?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah? Club day no delay delay. That's so good.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
I love all the imagining that funny because it would
have been I was pregnant on the show, hoping that
they would just write it in instead of having to hide.
It's hard to hide a woman's stomach and enormous boobs,
and let's write it in deb Yeah, because Deb's what
thirty nine or something, She's not like she's fifty two.
(30:54):
Like it's I mean, I'm pregnant, So deb could be pregnant.
We're kind of the same age. And for the writers,
just like they're like, what, we don't know what to
do to be pregnant?
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Like I mean, I think the same thing happened to Haley,
Like once I had a kid, then they were kind
of like, well, what do we do with you now?
Like you're not interesting anymore?
Speaker 4 (31:15):
So everything opens up, like so many possibilities, becomes so
much more interesting, become so much more aware of, so
much more yourself, so much more comfortable being who you are.
We can throw in a sexy nanny that you hire.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
So many possibilities, so many possibilities. Wait, speaking of possibilities,
I've said for a while that there should be a
prequel to Onetree Hill, Like there should be they need
to do like Deb, Dan and Karen in the eighties.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
You know, so I've never heard this idea that you know,
one of my daughters could plain and the prequel.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
This is my question, Actually, which one of your daughters
do you think?
Speaker 4 (31:53):
I mean, well, look, we know that.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Olivia is the right age. Ali's like God, she's the
writing the same energy as you, and I feel like
that would be a good fit.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
It would be great I could.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
Also see Emily and Natalie. Like, I guess it just
depends on how.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
They wrote the character them. Maybe the prequel, so you
lot of the most the prequel could go over a
few years, and then it could be all three of them.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Oh, I got you know, it would be great.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, Like, I just think that is such a I
think that would be so much a great idea. I
think it would be really really.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Interesting, especially if it's in the eighties.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I love eighties, eighties anything, and it's already characters that
people are obsessed with, and it's so much drama that
when we started. When you start the pilot, you're walking
into a ton of drama that's already pre existing. You've
got this small town, this family that's these two families
that are divided, and we don't really know much about
the history of these characters except the flashbacks.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
Even if they're different actors, everyone's already in love with
the character.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, exactly, it's because they ultimately know what's going to be.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Yes, do just build a show. I'm telling you, let's
go after drinks.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Well from the.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Podcast, she was on the show because she was in
my stomach like and so be so cool for her
to do.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
I have a question at these conventions, when people come
up to you, when fans come up to you, is
there a scene or a quote that you hear the most.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Yes, life Wait, I have to get it right now.
Life sucks. Give me a drink. Life sucks. I want
to drink. I think that's what it was. Life sucks.
I need a drink. Yeah, over and over and over again,
and people want me to write it like optimistic.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Life sucks.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
I need to drink. Barbara Allen Woods.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
We just interviewed Barry Corbin and he had a fan
and get the quote of his tattoo, but it was
like a beautiful saying and I just wanted to drink. Wow,
mama needs a buzz mom of the year stuff right there.
Speaker 4 (34:08):
I'm telling you, I don't know any other. I don't
think she ever said anything very like.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I don't know do you have a favorite uh oh,
a deb quote? No scene? Do you think of fond
just you remember shooting?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
I mean I loved all the stuff that Paul and
I had to do together, like just playing tricks on
each other and all the the War of the Roses. Yeah,
I mean that was my favorite. I also had a
great scene with Moira that was fun. I like comedy,
and so to be like the comedic in such a
serious show where it's a lot of you know, talking
heads and crying and all that, I think it's the
(34:47):
most fun. And I'm not necessarily into being on a sitcom,
but I love being like the comedy in a drama.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
How did the Goldbergs go for you? I haven't seen
your episodes yet. Oh, it was so much fun. And
this broad comedy that's not front of his studio audience, right,
that's like a single camera. It was single camera. Yeah, okay, okay,
have you done well? I know you did Seinfeld because
I watched Seinfeld and I'm like, who Barbara Barbara?
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Oh my gosh, yeah, you.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Know that was what episode? Would you do?
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I played, oh, someone going out with Jason Alexander, a
date of Jason Alexander. I actually, you want to hear some.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
Dirt all of it. Yes, I used to date.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
Someone from that show you did, David.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I wish Michael Richard's Jerry Jerry. Oh my gosh, what
I'm weirdly attracted to you right now? Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 4 (35:52):
Small World. Yes, at a comedy club, and it was
before he was Seinfeld. But he did stand up and
even watch the pilot together when he had done the pilot, Like,
you want to watch the show? I just did a
pilot O yah. Sure, And I think it wasn't picked
up to begin with. I remember not being picked up,
and then.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I got a partial pickup of like five or six episodes, okay,
and they were very very much on shaky ground. It
was a very different show that first. I think it's
like a six episode season. That's how uncertain the network
was about the show.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
Wow, it goes to show how much network people don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Oh my ysh, Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Was Jerry a fun hanging? Was he funny in person?
Speaker 4 (36:32):
He's very serious about being funny. I think a lot
of comedians are that way, so serious. People like not
what you would expect.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
It's super sharp and intelligent, so smart, so so so smart.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
And so nice to fans. I mean we ended up
being friends and then I ended up doing the show
after we dated. Oh funny, that's great. Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
So you did sitcoms? You've done sitcoms in your life
with a live audience yeah, have you done a lot
of theater?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Yep? When did you do theater in Chicago before I
moved out to LA And I did something in La too,
But it's not like it's not the scene in La.
Yeah it's not, but I did. That's how I started
doing theater. And I majored in theater in college and
then just a bunch of theater played Cinderella Joy. Did
you Hammerstein?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
No? I was gonna say, wait, do you sing?
Speaker 4 (37:22):
And I didn't know this.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I do you sing?
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Do?
Speaker 4 (37:25):
But not like you Well, I'm just wondering, like what
do you no?
Speaker 2 (37:30):
No? No?
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (37:31):
And we talked Broadway on set. Okay, maybe we did,
but I just loved, like, you know, I'm kind of
a nerd that way. And I remember being on the
carpet for during One Tree Hill for certain events, and
because One Tree Hill was so music heavy, they would
always say, you know, who was your favorite artist? What
(37:53):
is your favorite song? And for me, it's just Broadway.
And I always felt kind of nerdy saying that, like,
I don't know, a chorus line is my favorit? Like
is that current? I don't know. Do you see a
lot of new shows? It's it's my favorite thing in
the world.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh my gosh, wait, what have you seen? Oh lately?
Speaker 4 (38:08):
Nothing in nothing recently? Oh really nothing recently, Like.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
You don't go to the pantagous and go.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
But I did see Cinderella on Broadway and that was special. Yeah,
I mean whenever I was going more often when I
was in North Carolina because New York is so close.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
So I wish i'd done that. I wish I had
just like hopped out. Hillary did that all the time,
all the time.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yeah, I just the week's so fun.
Speaker 3 (38:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Well, no often, yeah, yeah, hour.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
And a half light guys, I know, it's really did
you do it never?
Speaker 6 (38:40):
I just have listen.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
There's one thing I know. It is flight time between
major cities. Okay, it's an hour and a half hour
twenty five yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
So you're in like such a new interesting phase in life,
as you were talking about at the very beginning of this,
and it's just so it's so lovely as your friend
to see you beaming and happy. I mean, you've always
had a lightness about you, but it feels like there's
an authenticity like you're not you know, you don't have
(39:14):
to compartmentalize when you're when there are things happening in
your life that there's a lot of tension in the
personal world. That can be so difficult, and I tend
to compartmentalize anyway when things are going on like that,
And it's really fun to see you in this just
super authentic phase.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
Yeah, go ahead, Well when you're you know, Mike, I've
been very focused on my girls. Yeah, since One Tree Hill,
that's really all I was focused on. Yeah, and they
started their careers and I was insistent that nobody else
would be a part of that and be on set
with them, and it was just important for me to
teach them etiquette and how to treat it, just everything
it needed to be me that was there when you
(39:52):
had three kids.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I mean, that's it's hard, a real and a full
time job, like this is a real thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
it's a huge response ability.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
But now that they're older and they're you know, when
they're eighteen, they can be and Alley's about to turn
eighteen and so kind of like my job is done.
I'm still there for them, but it's time for me it,
which is scary. I'll focus on me a little bit
and then seriously, when you start focusing on yourself and
really do love yourself and take care of yourself, things
(40:25):
start coming to you amazing, you know, Like I focused
on them, things came to them. You know, you have
to put energy in the things you're going to benefit from.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
Yeah, so yeah, I just am in a phase of
me and things are coming to me. And one of
those things was really nice.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
I just know, and I was in awe of like
the height and handsomeness caught me so off guard. Oh yeah,
I was just I walked in there and I was like,
boyfriend is so handsome and uh lovely, very warm.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
But let me tell you, like the nicest, warmest, most
loving giving person I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
That tracks, though, I'm happy to hear that, and it
also tracks because that is very much your lane.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yeah he I I didn't know this, Like somebody told
me that he actually is kind of famous, and I
did not.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
I did not know, Like is this true? He can
recognize way more than I do. Like it's because he's
like his presence too, you know, it's like you can't yeah,
I mean you've seen the show.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Yeah, he was on Cops for our listener. He was
he was.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
He was an army cop. He was a cop in
the army before.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
What what does he? What does he?
Speaker 3 (41:49):
You actually don't know what? Oh, you don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I only I only just heard, but our listeners may
not know. I did just okay, okay, but I heard
like an hour ago. I didn't actual his daughter.
Speaker 4 (42:01):
Was on the Bachelor, and she would his daughter was
on the Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
You didn't know, I didn't know. Okay.
Speaker 4 (42:08):
Her name's Kelsey. She's beautiful, she's wonderful. All of his
kids are. But his daughter was on the Bachelor. And
you know, at the end of The Bachelor, they go
to hometown. They introduced to theirs three remaining girls, and
they take the Bachelor home to meet their family. And
Mark was there being all cute and dimply and sweet
(42:30):
and like, who's that guy the producers the background, he's
the dad. And I'm watching the show with my girls
because we always watched the show. It's like a mindless
sorry Bachelor, but it was just like a brainless, mindless
I'm sorry, and I think that's probably but one of
my favorite shows of all time. But you can turn
your brain off pretty much, so and teaching them what
(42:52):
not to do, and we used to count it towards
school the Bachelor. I'm not getting one hour school, yep,
and so kind of interested in him. I'm like, oh,
see if he has an Instagram, what's his name, Martin.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Oh, he's an.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Instagram not many followers, but I'm gonna DM him. And
then I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed
his dimples. So then he was at the final episode
of her show. He was in the audience, and I'm
watching with Ali and like, oh, there's my boyfriend, the
one I DM. I'm like, oh, I wonder if you
(43:27):
ever responded. He didn't respond to me, So then they
announced that he's going to be on the Golden Bachelorette
as a contestant. Oh, like taking my boyfriend away from me.
Then I DM him again, like I don't know what
I say. It was so corny whatever I said, like
you have a cute smile, You're going to go a
long way in life or something stupid, and still didn't respond.
(43:49):
But then I realized he's not responding because he's already
on the show because they take their phones away, Like
maybe that's why he's not responding. And then he got
kicked off and I'm watching every week to see if
my boyfriend's gonna get kicked off the show. I've never
really spoken, watching feeling like we know him but we don't,
(44:10):
and like, oh he's still on. Oh, she really likes him.
Like and then he got kicked off. And by the
time he got kicked off, he had already responded to me.
So we started talking through social media or whatever. And
then you go the next step, texting, and then you
go the next step and you talk, and we started
talking and it's been NonStop.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Barbarack.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
He's such a good guy.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Oh my gosh, I just.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
Have to get used to being with good people. Like
he's a good guy.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
How do your daughters feeling?
Speaker 4 (44:42):
They love him? Oh, probably more even than I do.
They love him and they love seeing me happy, and
they love seeing me being treated correctly. And he's just
so soft spoken, but when he speaks, it's just means something.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah. I love people like that. Yeah, I want to
be one of those people. I'm not there, Oh me neither,
I'm not.
Speaker 4 (45:02):
I talk all the time.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
Your daughters are constantly pulling you aside, like mom, do
not blow.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
This, do not all of us, and you're not, like
it's the truth. I'll get a little unhealthy from time
to time and I'll say something, but do you think
he's mom? No, he's everything. Like they just would be
so mad at me if I know.
Speaker 5 (45:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
The thing I've been thinking about lately is that we're
professional at instant intimacy. You know how to just create
instant intimacy and it's lovely and it gives us all
those dopamine feelings that you want, but we're not taking
the time to build the found in real life. If
we do that, which we're so good at, it's so easy.
So it's like, oh, here's my little thing trick I
(45:56):
can pull out of my hat. But if you don't
take the time to actually build the foundation in real life, yeah,
then the instant intimacy is just cheap and it goes
away cheaply. To like, it's easy to make it go away,
it's easy to second guess it and all that stuff.
So it's so important to take that time.
Speaker 4 (46:11):
It was kind of nice because our relationship started on
the phone, so all we did was talk. Yeah, and
so you like, if you have that, you know, connection
with a guy, like sometimes you jump into things, maybe
you shouldn't so quickly but we just talked. I mean,
we did a lot of phone sex.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
But I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 4 (46:28):
I'm kidding now, I'm kidding, kidding, we did, but but no, no, no,
I'm serious. Like you get to know something if that's
all you have, Yeah, then it's not.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
So much about like feeding your ego. Then you know
the instant gratification of like instant intimacy. Is it feels
so good, but it's it Is it really about our
connection or is it just about the fact that this
feels good to me and it's about me.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Yes, it can become a substitute for true intimacy. Yes, yeah,
it's a band. It can be a crutch, that's what
it's give me, be a crutch as opposed to the
phone when all you got is like questions and answers.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
And he would pause for ten seconds because that's what
he does when he's talking. I've learned thinking let it be.
So now what I'm going to say is like, but
on the phone, it's like, what's wrong?
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (47:18):
What's wrong? Yeah, he's like what I'm just thinking, Like, okay,
you're okay because you paused for three seconds, you know, Yeah,
he's great. He's great, he cooks, he's like, he takes
care of his kids, like he loves me. He came
with you to this weekend?
Speaker 3 (47:38):
Here?
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Is he actually great?
Speaker 3 (47:40):
With? What?
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Is he here? Here? Here?
Speaker 3 (47:42):
He's here right his literal hand?
Speaker 2 (47:45):
I know, but I know I met him too, But like,
is he here in the hallway? Does he want to
say hi?
Speaker 4 (47:49):
He would, yes, you would make sure that I wanted
him to, Okay, And then.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Does he know that you want him to? Do you
want to him in?
Speaker 4 (47:59):
See if he's still he's like making out with some
girl out there?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
No, do you feel insecure about that stuff? Like do
you feel a little paranoid that? It's like I.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
Will always be insecure in relationships period. But he's so good.
All I need to say is give me some reassurance.
Yeah he's there. Yeah, that's great. And he just does
understand why I'm insecure with him. But you know it's great.
He's not he's recognized and you call him famous whatever,
(48:31):
but from you know, if you've seen that show, you
would know who he is. And he gets recognized a lot,
but he's not in Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Yeah, so it's almost like.
Speaker 4 (48:39):
The best of both worlds. Like he's gotten a little
taste of it.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Oh my god, she is here. Okay, we're having a
total party here right now. You guys, thank you all of.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Your This is drama queens after dark, It.
Speaker 2 (48:51):
Really and it is after dark.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
I there we go. Let's start storming, get deep.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
We should have had you in here when we were
saying all the nice things about you. We were just
listening to Barbara.
Speaker 4 (49:09):
I told him that when we met, all we have
is the phone, and so we just had to do
a lot of phone sex. And then I was kidding,
and then I was kidding.
Speaker 3 (49:21):
No, that's a fun one to walk into, right Mark.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Yeah, ambush, ambush. Oh. We were just talking about how
it's like, I don't know if you experienced this because
I haven't done any reality TV, but this instant intimacy
that as actors we have to, you know, jump in
immediately and like you say hi and shake somebody's hand
and then rip your heart open and have to be
really close, and then you get into this habit that
(49:46):
then it starts to translate into your real life with
friends or relationships or whatever, and suddenly you find yourself
like having tried to skip the the hard part of
the building process, but actually you're cutting yourself out of
something that is so foundational and important. Yeah, I don't
know how. I don't know how. I have no idea
(50:07):
how what it's like on reality TV if there's some
sort of you did one season so this You're not
like a reality TV veteran where you're okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (50:17):
But there must have there must have been a sense
of pressure though for there to be like sparks and.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Chemistry intimacy on a bachelor show.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
There's no slow burn all out on a show like that, right.
Speaker 6 (50:28):
Yeah, No, not really.
Speaker 8 (50:30):
I mean, because the whole idea of it, I think
is to hurry up and create a connection.
Speaker 2 (50:35):
You know, did that feel inauthentic? Did it feel like easy?
I mean, how did that feel?
Speaker 6 (50:44):
It was very different? I mean that's you know, I'm not.
Speaker 8 (50:48):
A fast kind of person normally, you know, I'm a
pretty slow.
Speaker 6 (50:55):
Kind of slow person.
Speaker 4 (51:00):
A lot of pauses in between words like that.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
I pause a lot.
Speaker 8 (51:04):
Yet you know that the spinning wheel of death on
a computer it says I'm thinking, and it was.
Speaker 3 (51:12):
It was like the best Christmas present.
Speaker 4 (51:14):
But the thing is he wasn't attracted to her at all,
so that made it like that was hard for him
because he wasn't, you know, the bachelorette. I'm just saying this.
He wasn't attracted to her.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
At all, so shots fired.
Speaker 4 (51:29):
Yeah, I mean, I'm just guessing, right, he couldn't stand
waiting for you're right?
Speaker 3 (51:41):
I mean, you're right, well done, Mark, well done a little.
Was there any sort of like coaxing or like gentle
encouragement from the production staff on, like, hey, if we
could find a moment here, like was it? Were they
ever trying to you're you in a direction? No? I
(52:03):
think they.
Speaker 8 (52:03):
I mean they need things to kind of grow organically,
you know, but sometimes organically isn't quick enough. Yeah, yeah,
you know it is. It's it has to play out.
But it is a compressed schedule, you know, So I
don't I don't think they steer it.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Yeah, it's got to be tough for producers because if
every relationship is forced and then every one of them
falls apart when the show is over, it's got to
have a bad track record. So they want they've got
to want to have some sort of some successful relationships
come out of the show.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
It said, isn't the track record of those shows horrendous.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Actually don't know so well oh okay.
Speaker 6 (52:46):
Yeah, well, I mean but it's it's also.
Speaker 8 (52:50):
You know, I think a big part of it, like
I didn't experience what the younger.
Speaker 4 (52:57):
The younger shows.
Speaker 8 (53:00):
I was lik in this Golden Bachelorette, you know, which
is I was the youngest person on there.
Speaker 4 (53:06):
You know, Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 6 (53:08):
So you know everybody was.
Speaker 3 (53:12):
We're civilized.
Speaker 8 (53:14):
There was no you know, competitive I mean, there was competitiveness,
but there wasn't like the drama that you saw on
you know that appear on the younger shows, because it
wasn't a big jealousy thing.
Speaker 6 (53:25):
Everyone was comfortable with themselves. You know.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
I recall catch actually a clip from The Golden Bachelor,
and I was so shocked to see the women being
kind to each other and like cheering each other up. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
See, this is what happens you hit this point in
your life where you're like, oh, we we're setting examples
for our daughters, for young women. We want to actually
to encourage each other. That's nice to know, such a
nice change.
Speaker 3 (53:51):
Yeah, because it's just it's hard to watch people constantly
undercutting and being frum me to each other and see
all of a sudden, they were like, get him, girl,
getting I was.
Speaker 4 (54:02):
Watch great, Yeah, you would love it. You should watch.
And these guys were so supportive of each other and
just they were just like, I mean, they're still all
in touch with each other.
Speaker 8 (54:13):
Yeah, by far, the best experience I've had in my life.
Like in my adult life, I have never shared the emotion,
felt so safe and secure in an environment to talk
about emotion.
Speaker 6 (54:26):
Like I grew up.
Speaker 8 (54:27):
My adult life has been military like oriented. You know,
for the military, an emotion wasn't something that was feelings
and emotion wasn't wasn't talked about. Like there's a time
and a place, and that wasn't the time or the place.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
To be in a place a camera in your face.
Speaker 8 (54:47):
To be in a place where you could sit down
and talk with other men that were in the same
boat as me, you know, got in on different docks,
is what I like to say. You know, everybody got
in on a different dock. They were divorced, so they'd
lost their spouse to you know whatever. But they were
all single, you know, when we're in the same boat.
So to be able to talk with them about their
(55:08):
experiences and you know, how.
Speaker 6 (55:09):
They related with their kids. How they you know, how
did they date after you know, being older?
Speaker 8 (55:16):
You know, how does that happen? It was incredible, Like
it was. It was an enriching experience for me.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Wow, and something amazing came out of it. Astely got
this message from Barbara and your Instagram. I love it.
Speaker 3 (55:30):
It's like you have don that moment. Oh I'm not
getting the girl. But then you got your phone back
and look who slid into.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
And you're like, oh, and by the way, his daughter
won this. Well, I say one, that's horrible thing to say,
but was the chosen one. So there so her his
daughter is engaged to the bachelor of that season, so
they will eventually get married.
Speaker 6 (56:03):
YEA.
Speaker 2 (56:03):
Life is so weird, I know, like could you ever
have imagined? And you're never like Kelsey.
Speaker 8 (56:10):
Remember I remember when Kelsey left, you know, when she
left home to go to filming. She was home the
weekend before she left, and you know, and I was like,
you know, Kelsey, you're you're.
Speaker 6 (56:21):
Far braver than I because she went to go do
this show.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
God was like, right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (56:29):
It was.
Speaker 6 (56:30):
It was pretty incredible.
Speaker 3 (56:34):
Well, I'm so happy for both of you. It's a
pleasure to finally meet you, because I've been seeing the
pictures on Instagram and you both look so happy and
your daughters look so happy. Yeah, you deserve it, Thank you,
you deserve a wow.
Speaker 2 (56:50):
I'm just asking in the glow. It's fabulous. I wish
you all could be here to see. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (56:57):
Tune in on YouTube, everybody.
Speaker 2 (56:58):
Yeah, that's right, all right?
Speaker 3 (57:01):
How do you want to wrap it up?
Speaker 2 (57:03):
Joy with some tequila? Really?
Speaker 3 (57:07):
I have I have one more question? Rank your daughters?
All right, maybe we've already done that. Yeah, you.
Speaker 2 (57:20):
Are, You're the best. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (57:21):
You guys are and I enjoy every single episode and
you guys are just killing it and I'm just like, support,
support support. Did you see I responded to something that
you're the funniest guy in the world At some point
you didn't. I don't think you responded. Guys, just guys
do not respond to that.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
Must have been like was it a comment on an
Instagram post?
Speaker 4 (57:44):
I think I no, I think I DMed you, but
let me check.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
But it was.
Speaker 4 (57:50):
It was quite a compliment, like it was a superlative.
For sure.
Speaker 3 (57:55):
We have this episode up because I am dying.
Speaker 4 (57:57):
Okay, I mean, I'll find it.
Speaker 3 (58:00):
If you did allegedly.
Speaker 8 (58:02):
No, I did.
Speaker 2 (58:03):
I you're so like like I can let a lot
of things roll off. I know I keep track of,
but there are certain things security of, like oh, I
message that person and they did not.
Speaker 4 (58:13):
Message me back.
Speaker 2 (58:13):
Now I'm not mad at that really, but made a
decision about how I feel about it. I'm just like
I get pitied in my memory. I'll not forget.
Speaker 4 (58:19):
I will use it at some point.
Speaker 3 (58:21):
Clearly you forgave and did not forget. Yes, no, I'm
not saying no.
Speaker 4 (58:27):
I can promise you I'm going to find it and
I'll show you.
Speaker 3 (58:30):
Okay, So you.
Speaker 4 (58:35):
And I think I even said, oh my god, he's
so funny, look at this. And I think I showed
you and I said, I'm going to dmm, and I did.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Are you a little nerrodivergent too? I don't know the
fact that you, like you can keep track of all
we need to Joy, I know we're long overdue. We
just need we need time.
Speaker 3 (58:51):
I loved anything. Okay, I'm lying.
Speaker 4 (58:55):
Okay, I'm lying.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
So she's a wonderful mother, a talented actress. And thanks
for joining us with Barbarro.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Allenwoods, Burldwoods, everybody.
Speaker 2 (59:08):
Hey, thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
Don't forget to leave us a review.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queens
O t H.
Speaker 4 (59:15):
Or email us at Drama Queens at iHeartRadio dot com.
See you next time we.
Speaker 2 (59:22):
All about that high school drama.
Speaker 1 (59:24):
Girl Drama Girl, all about them high school queens.
Speaker 2 (59:28):
We'll take you for a ride at our comic girl
sharing for the right teams. Drama queenslease my girl, up
girl fashion with your tough girl.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
You could sit with us Girl Drama Queens, Drama Queise,
Drama Queens, Drama Drama Queens, Drama Queens
Hosts And Creators
Bethany Joy Lenz
Sophia Bush
Robert Buckley
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