This Guy Could’ve Been a Country Music STAR! Here’s what changed…| Ben Fuller

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, I just want to see Ben Fuller.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
I have been just trying to get you to stop
talking so we could finally record, so like to hear
what you have to say. Man, okay, brother, you let's
go back. You and I started texting not that long ago. Yeah,
we've both known of each other. But we started texting
three or four weeks ago, and and I was like,

(00:24):
you know what, I don't remember how it got to
this point where it's like, man, we just got to
get you on the podcast. And when's the next time
you're in Texas? And you're like, like three weeks, I'm
going to have a day off yeah, and about an
hour from you. Yeah, And so I was like, well, man,
I know it's I know it's difficult, but is there
a way to rent a car and drive? And you

(00:48):
were actually like, actually I think I want to do that.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah. Yeah, it was my pleasure. I walked thirty five
minutes to the rental place this morning, and god, I
don't know, I'm I'm not a big uber guy, you know,
So anyway, I just I it was a lovely day.
We're in Waco, got a couple of days off in
Waco and the weather's perfect. Every time I've been in Texas,
it's like really hot, and so I was really right now, yeah,

(01:15):
it's like fifty eight degrees and I was like, man,
I'm going to walk. So I walked and was able to.
I always love having church places that I go and
you know, it's like, man, what do you do for
a living? You know? And it just the door is
kicked open and it's like, well, I sing about Jesus,
you know, and so it's just been really cool. Yeah.
So I've been having church all morning on the way here.

(01:36):
You live in like the most beautiful country that I've
ever seen. I mean the country Texas.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Texas has her pretty dress on it this time of year.
For sure. It's not always like that, you know that, Yeah,
I do. So where were you last night?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Last night? I believe we were night before last we
were in Houston, and then last night we were in Paragold, Arkansas. Okay,
and uh so we're kind of in Texas. Left Texas
to Arkansas, came back to Texas and I just you know,
I drove back to Texas.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Six hundred miles or whatever the drivers could do, and
stopped and where are you tomorrow?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
That's exactly we're another off day tomorrow, and then I
couldn't tell you after.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
That, Oh you're you're still off? That's right, Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, I couldn't tell you. I'm a one day at
a time guy. And it's like, man, when i I'm
just like here, I am, Lord, just grateful to wake up,
you know, today honestly and have this day. And it's
been a weird thing, but I just I'm kind of
like a squirrel and sort of like, all right, I
need to just focus on today and whatever you've given me.

(02:40):
And so I'm just grateful. You know, I've lost a
lot of friends and had a lot of things happen
in my life, and so it's like, if I just
focus on today, it's all I've got. I know, it
stinks for planning and it stinks for like the future
for me, but it's also just like, well the Lord's
already written that out.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Well you can't. You can't just throw that out there
and not talk about you say, I've lost a lot
of friends. How old are you? Uh, thirty eight? Thirty eight?
And you're from Vermont? Yeah, country boy from Vermont, country boy,
that is you know we talk about you talked about
this is a beautiful country here in Texas. Vermont is
so beautiful. Man.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah, yeah, I loved it. Man. We grew up on
a I grew up on a dairy farm, my sister
and my mom and dad. And dad just wanted cows
when he was nineteen years old and so he bought him.
And but you know, growing up the son of a
dairy farmer is a tough It's a tough world. It's
a tough life. There's a lot of expectation. There's a
lot of things that that happened. There's a lot of

(03:37):
work to be done. Cows don't take a vacation. We
milked one hundred and sixty or so, and so it
was like before school, after school, and then of course
football and all the rest. And it was an amazing life.
And I'm so thankful for the hard work that my dad.
I can fix just about anything, you know. It's like
my dad just really instilled a lot in me. But
I think one of the things that was tough growing

(03:58):
up was that, you know, we just didn't go to church,
and Jesus was always just a swear word, and so
I had no idea, you know, anything about the gospel
I'd never heard anything. I think, you know, handful of
times church on Easter, Christmas Eve service something like that.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
So there was a cultural idea about it there.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, but I never caught men, never caught the gospel,
never caught you know, never was paying attention enough. I
guess maybe to hear and see. But so, yeah, Dad
and I just really butt heads a lot. Still no,
and I think.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
That's what's changing ever getting there. Yeah, so when did
you leave home?

Speaker 1 (04:38):
So I left home, so I basically, you know, farmed
with him and worked in the fields and all the things.
And then I decided that I really wanted to I
love landscaping, and so I fell in love with I know,
the place is beautiful. I fell in love with it.
And so I was like, okay, I love plant trees,
but stonework was really like my number one. And so

(05:01):
I went to college, got my associates, came out of there,
and went right into work and went to work for
this really kind of high end landscape design. This is
nine nine. It's still in Vermont, yep, still in Vermont.
And I fell in love with stone work, the hammering

(05:23):
and the chiseling and the lifting and the moss and
the smell and the anyway. So I just became, you know,
infatuated with like dry laid stone walls, New England, sheep
fence stone walls and uh, anyway, there's there's a I've
been thinking about it recently. There's a song and there's
somewhere about how I built walls my whole life, you know.

(05:44):
But so I fell in love with that, and all
along the way, I also fell in love with cocaine.
I fell in love with alcohol. I fell in love
with sleeping around all the things.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
To is that this era yeah to to fill stone
worker from from Mott fall in love with cocaine? Man,
what does that connect?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
I don't you know. It's funny. I just my best
friend who I met around that time of nine after
after college. You know, he was just a hard worker,
had troubles with his father too, and we just fell
into each other. And you know, so here's a farmer
and a logger that just you know, we just our

(06:27):
arms are open to each other. And he became my
best friend. And Ryan and I just did everything together
and I don't know if it was you know, parties
and stuff, and all of a sudden we started getting
exposed to that kind of crowd. Next thing, you know,
it's like hey, man, like try this, you know, this
will kind of this will ease your pain.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
But you know what I mean, it's like that's not
the immediate connection that you take. Like a couple of
guys that you know, yeah college drad got out there
and you know, with a landscaping business, yeah, putting together
rock rock walls. Like you don't go oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, no. No. I was a master at disguise. And
I think the thing is is that I just hurt
so much inside and there was so many things broken
from my relationship with my father that I wished hearing
I love you, not hearing I love you, wanting to
hear it. And it's like little things that I saw
my friends and their dads do where I was like,

(07:23):
why am I missing out on that. I've got the
best work relationship with my father, but I really have
no relationship with my father, And so it just was
like expectation relationship, you know, it was like do more,
keep working, you know, save money, this is what you
do to live and this is this is this is it,
you know, And so I I really believe I turned

(07:44):
to the drugs to just get a relief, to get
some sort of escape from the hurt that was. That
was that I shoveled deep inside. And so Ryan and
I just really became best friends in that we shared
the same struggles, shared the same hurts, shared pretty much
the same fathers, you know, and just tough men, men

(08:06):
that don't want to show emotion, men that don't you know,
are scared of that, you know, love. Yeah, but they
formed a brotherhood. Yeah exactly, Yeah exactly. And so yeah,
that was ten years of a relationship and just you know,
I would drink at night and you know, pass out,
wake up and back to work again and back to

(08:28):
hammering and chiseling, and and I just became good at
that functioning at that. But I refused to associate with
an addict because addicts are bad people. You know.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, of course not. Yeah you're not at it.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, yeah, adics are bad people. I'm not a bad person.
I'm nice, I'm kind, I love people. I can put
it down. I can get high on Friday, Saturday and
then sober on Sunday and then back to work on Monday.
I was fine, but it just became this this hamster
wheel that wouldn't stop. And then and then December sixteenth,

(09:02):
twenty seventeen, I got the phone call from Ryan's sister
and she's she she didn't have to say anything on
the other line, but Ryan's mom found him and he
had died and he tried heroin and and that was it.

(09:25):
And so I lost my best friend. And in that
moment was like, nah, you know, this isn't this isn't true.
This can't be you know, And I knew he needed
some help and he was going to rehab, he was
going to get you know, I knew he's like, he's okay,
he's gonna be fine. And then, you know, it really
started to hit me over time, and then especially you know,

(09:47):
after his service and celebration of life and all these things,
and it's like, man, I I stopped using and drinking
after that for a while because of the hurt and
because I didn't want to die sure. And I also
it was like, you know, this was a time when
fentanyl started coming out, you know, and it became drugs

(10:08):
started getting laced more with fentanyl and everything, and this
it didn't seem as much of a concern before, and
all of a sudden, it is and it's like, well,
wait a minute, one little tiny tear drop can kill you.
And so I had this fear of like, oh my goodness,
I don't I don't want to die either. And man,
it was it was like a few months or six months,

(10:31):
you know, and I found myself just drinking heavy again
and you know, using a little bit here and there,
and it wasn't enough to stop me.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
You know what that fear was was holding you back
at first, but then the desire to numb everything else. Yeah,
basically outweighed in the end exactly.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
And it was it was never going to be and
I didn't realize it at the time, but it was
never going to be enough for me to just quit
on my own and you know, want it for myself
or have somebody, you know, a sponsor or someone just
calling to check in on me. It's like, man, I'm
a master at sneaking around people. I'm a master at
going behind closed doors and doing it. And so losing

(11:15):
Ryan really killed me. And but what it did was
it sparked a whole lot of It sparked a whole
lot of feelings and hurt, but also inspiration to write.
And I started really writing feelings down. I started writing
hurts and hang ups and habits and things, just just
writing my heart down on paper. And and so I started,

(11:38):
I started songwriting. I picked up guitar and it didn't
exist before that, no, and I started. I'd learned guitar
in college, three chords kind of things, you know, so
I could play a couple of country songs and that
was it, but I never really did anything with it.
And so I'd had this guitar that my roommate in
college bought me, and so I just picked that thing
up and started kind of just getting my hurt out.

(12:02):
And anyway, next thing, you know, I had this friend
that was like, hey, I think you should start start
singing more. You know, you've got a voice, you've got
you know, a big heart, you know, and you've got
a story and you've got things. And so I started
playing bars and restaurants and stuff. And this was in
twenty eighteen, seventeen eighteen.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
And you realize how crazy it is that that was
only seven eight years ago.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
That's crazy. People's people were shut as we.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Record right now. You started, I know, seven years ago.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
People showed up, people started coming to bars, three hundred
dollars worth of tips of my guitar case. Next thing,
you know, like other bars started calling Ben, You're dragging
people in. They're coming in, They're buying burgers and beers.
The beautiful thing was all this people, These people were
showing up out of nowhere. But but the awful thing
was that the bottom of my like my mic stand was,
was lined with beers. And so every single night I

(13:00):
had beers and shots and all the things. And you know,
my family was coming out to see me. And I
remember my dad saying to me once it still sticks
with me, say, is you're drinking too much? He said,
I see you're drinking too much up there. You know
you need to drive home. You need to make it home.
You got to go. You know, you might want to
just pack off a little bit. And how did that

(13:21):
hit you with from a man that you weren't really respecting? Man,
it was like I got this, I got this on
my own, Like I can I can do this, Okay,
you know, I hear you, But I also know my limit?
Sure man, I didn't know my limit, yea. And I
would drive home drunk so many nights from those places,
in those bars and have no idea getting home and

(13:44):
unloading and I have no idea, you know, And so
it just again, this hamster wheel kept going and started
up again. But now all of a sudden, guess what,
you add a little fame to it, You add a
little notoriety to it, and some more Facebook followers to it,
and all of a sudden you're like, man, this is
it's cool. Let's make a Ben Fuller T shirt. Yeah,
let's sell this, let's owe All of a sudden, it

(14:05):
just and things really started picking up in New England
for me. And this is in about twenty eighteen, mid
twenty eighteen. Well, by the fall of twenty eighteen, I
had started hearing from folks man, you got to move
to Nashville. Dude, come on, you can go to Nashville.
You could be a big star. You can make it
like we're behind you. And it had snowballed so fast

(14:28):
that it was just like, well, you know what, Yeah,
I can go to Nashville and make it. I can
do this on my own. And so I remember I
left the Landscape Crew. I was at fifteen years on
and off. I'd left for a couple of years here
and there and try to do it on my own
and ended up coming back and golly, those guys were

(14:49):
the best. And anyway, my best friend Paul was like,
all right, you know you're gonna go do this thing.
Go for it, and you're crazy, but go for it,
like you need to go where you need to go
about thirty little over thirty yeah, a little over thirty
thirty one thirty one, I guess so wrote that song
that wrote to Nashville, and so it was like this

(15:12):
big send off. We had a big party. My dad
was happy. We had a big party in the field
and all my friends and everyone from the town was
there and we had hot dogs and hamburgers and people
were drinking beers and you know, it was just we
had a big concert. And Aaron Enderlin, who wrote Monday
Morning Church for Alan Jackson, had come up. I'd met
her in Nashville and so we kind of I'd make it,

(15:35):
made a trip down and met some folks and anyway,
it was awesome. So I get down there and I'm terrified.
I'd never been to the big city before. And there
is twenty eight put in perspective as twenty eight states
of Vermont that fit in Texas, so you could imagine
how you know, this place is tiny, and all of

(15:57):
a sudden, I go to Tennessee and I'm like the
horns and the sirens and the lights and the buildings
and the I'm just like overwhelmed. What do I do?
Why am I here? And then I go to Broadway.
Then I'm really overwhelmed, and I'm like what is this place?
And there's every star from every hometown is here. And

(16:20):
I remember sitting in my hotel room just crying and
drinking and just being like locking myself in there and
be like I don't even want to come out. This
world is crazy and scary. I've made a bad choice.
I just want to go home. And one of my
friends from online on Instagram had reached out. It was like,
you got to go to Tutsi's two pm on Saturday.

(16:41):
They do auditions, and so I said, okay, Taylor, I'll go.
So I went two pm Saturday. They hand me a
clipboard I signed my name. I'd never played with a
full band before in my life. They had the house
band was there at the back room and Tutsis and
I go up and, Uh, well Son, what's you going

(17:02):
to play? And everybody's there and they're drinking and hooting
and hollering and all this stuff, and I think I
did the ride by David Allen Co and uh a
Queen of my double wide trailer were the two songs anyway,
and so found so I look back and bound bound
bout and I'm going, oh my gosh, the song is

(17:23):
started and here we go. And next thing, you know,
I just sing the song and they says, well what's
everybody thinking, mister ben Fuller, And everybody cheered, and well, Son,
you get your butt back here at ten am, and
you're hired. And I said, what I'm hired? Like, what
do you And so come to find out I got
a job, and so, uh, we'll be you doing for money.

(17:44):
Right before that, man, I had sold.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
My house, so you're just kind of living on the.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Living on a little bit of savings. That was it.
And so I sold my house and had a little
bit of savings from from landscape and uh stone working
on stuff. And so there I am hired at the
world old's most famous honky tonk, you know, Tutsy's Orchid Lounge.
And I remember this one of the first times for
me of hearing that my dad was proud of me

(18:12):
for making it, you know, and he told everybody in
town that Bend's made it. He's playing Tutsi's honky Tonk
on Broadway Nashville, like the most famous, and it was
a huge deal. And he was so proud and I
was proud, and it was just like wow. And so
I remember that Sunday. The next day, I went and

(18:32):
parked and paid my thirty dollars to park my pickup
truck and put my guitar over my shoulder and my
favorite cowboy boots on, and I walked down to Broadway
and I got in that back room on a stool
with a few folks and I sang for four hours,
you know. And so I was scared of full band
because I don't know anything about music. To this day,

(18:52):
I don't. I don't. I couldn't tell you what key
I'm in. I can't tell you Nashville number system. I
have no idea. And so I just was like, well,
I'm going to do the acoustic thing because I'm comfy
and I could sing a lot of songs. And granted,
I was just off of doing that live and bars
and pubs and restaurants all in New England, and so
I was really good at like someone said, hey, man,

(19:14):
can you play whatever you know, whatever song country song
or rock song or whatever that I got it and
three doors down or you know, so I was a
human juke box. It's kind of what I, you know,
thought about myself. And man, I started meeting folks and
having a good time at Tootsi's and then Honky Tunk

(19:35):
Central and Rippy's, and they started kind of moving me
around a little bit.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
So by the way, I had the same gig. Did
you know that probably not, No one knows that you're
kidding me. Yeah. I played Monday morning ten am to
two pm, Friday evening six pm to ten pm, and
Saturday evening ten pm to two am, three days a week.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
So it's you're kidding me.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
For a long time, I had no idea. Well, I
say a long time. That'll grow you up quick, so
maybe like a year and a half.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
One year, two years, just like you're done.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Man, Yeah you did it. I did it, And yeah,
I mean that we could do a whole podcast just
on how much I hate man.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
I didn't. Yeah, I'll tell you what I think it was.
I can't believe it worked the way that it did.
There was so much confusion and stuff. But I sang
my butt off there every morning, and I was terrified
of the full band things.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
But you had a morning gig too, yeah, ten to two, and.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
So I just did the morning things me too. But
I would start drinking in the morning too, of course,
and you know, because everybody's drinking, and then everyone they
would give you tips and shots and beers, and so
it's like here.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
The Opry would send a bus, you know, about eleven.
I would get the first bus, and so there'd be
nobody in there at ten usually when I started, besides
the bartender, maybe one drunk sitting at a table. But
then an Opry bus would come and there would be about,
you know, thirty forty older people would file off the bus,

(21:06):
and the door guide would be like, and if you'll
look over here, this will actually be a real live,
starving artist trying to make it and make sure you
give him a tip because he's not paid by anything
but tips. And they'd come in with their diet cokes
and be like, hmm, yeah, a starving It's like I'm

(21:27):
in an aquarium. Like I'm a fish in an aquarium. Yeah,
And even on the cold days they would they would
have the door open because you know, Lord forbid, if
someone's walking on the sidewalk and the door's closed, they
might not come in.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
So keep it open, man. And I remember playing through
the winter, that's yeah, you know what I mean. And it's cold. Yeah,
it was cold, miserable, and nobody was there, and the
tips were like you didn't make any tips. And some
days I was spending more to park and eat and
they and drink like you know, I didn't get free beers.
I didn't get free launch like it was all you

(22:02):
paid for that stuff there. So anyway, I think, I say, no, no, no,
I think ten bucks an hour. I think it was
ten dollars an hours what they paid, So you get
a forty dollars base paid when I played there, anyway,
and we.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
And I played probably sixteen years before you, and it
was the same money that increased.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
For those of you out there playing it may be
the same money. I can't believe that. And so I
just got tired. I got so sick of playing there,
and everybody was so good, and all of a sudden
you would see folks start kind of dropping, and there'd
be a new person that would come and another person,

(22:44):
one of my friend Hey, where'd Jeff go? You know, Well,
I don't know. I ain't seeing him in a few weeks.
I guess he went home. You know. Well Carrie was awesome.
Where did she go? Well, I guess, and she had
a baby, I don't, you know. And it's just people
just start kind of coming and going and dropping. And
I played for a year and I was just like
and there was also someone new who came, who is

(23:06):
more talented or prettier or more handsome or whatever it is.
And anyway, so I just got sick of driving home.
I got sick of drinking and being out there. And man,
I got a phone call one afternoon. And this was
in the fall of twenty nineteen. Moved there fall of

(23:28):
twenty eighteen. This was a whole year later, and my
phone rang and the Davenport family called me and they said,
I believe it was BJ Charlie's wife, and she said, hey, Ben,
we got your number from a friend and you remember us,

(23:51):
you know. And I had landscape with their son and
things back in Vermont, and I said, well, hey, we're
actually down here in Nashville now. And I said, wow,
that's cool. And they said, will you come over for dinner,
and uh, I said, yeah, yeah, I'm tired of ramen noodles,
and you know, and so I was just taught. You know,

(24:13):
I was living in Cool Springs, and you know, couldn't
barely afford rent. And I was going home playing gigs
in Vermont throughout that year because you know, Ben's now
from Nashville, so I could make I could make a
thousand dollars. I could do shows for extra money now.
And all of a sudden, it was like, Wow, well
they're gonna come see me anyway, I'm such a big

(24:35):
deal granger, you know. And uh, my, my, my, my pride. Anyway,
this is this will this will be a good thing
for later. But but I was so I started to
get a little prideful in that. Anyway, I go to
this dinner and I was hungry, and they fed me,
and uh, it's the supper that saved my life, I

(24:58):
call it. And uh, at the end of this meal,
they asked me if i'd go to church with them
in the morning, and I just I thought about it
for a quick second. I think I probably asked for
a dessert to be passed over. My belly was full,
my heart was full. I remember going there with beers

(25:18):
because I couldn't be myself without alcohol. I didn't know
how long I'd be there. They loved me just the
way that I was. They didn't tell me to straighten
up or you know, my mouth at the time was
foul and all the things, and you know, they didn't
say a thing. They just fed me. And I was
raised by my awesome dad, who honestly just did such

(25:42):
an amazing job for what he knew, Yeah that if
somebody did something nice for you, you do something nice back,
you know. And so I thought that I owed them.
So I said, yeah, I'll go to church with you.
Sure you guys just fed me, I'll feed you. So
that next morning.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
In America, that's not a big deal at all, Like no,
of course, you of course, yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
And so I just was like, this is fine, I'll
try it out. I don't know. And so it was
a Saturday night was the meal, and Sunday morning. Uh
so we went to Church of the City, Franklin, Tennessee,
and uh man, I just you know, we're all kind
of you know. I remember a little Nora was holding

(26:25):
my hand, and you know, it's just a family thing.
And I and I started, you know, kind of feeling
that thing of like I don't really know what all
this is. I'm not really sure what we're doing here,
and you know, it kind of started to set in
a little bit. I was like, oh boy, we're in
the doors and there's lots of people everywhere, and everybody
was just beautiful. They were shiny and happy and you know, smiling,

(26:46):
and I'm like, what is this place? You know, I felt,
I don't know. I mean, maybe that the guys had makeup,
the girls had no I'm just kidding, I don't know,
but everybody just just looked beautiful. And I'm like, you know,
so here comes then, you know, walking in through the door,
and I'm kind of just like, what is this place
and what's going on here? And I'm not really sure
about all this stuff. And little Nora's leading me in,

(27:09):
their youngest daughter, and you know, and all of a sudden,
I hear what and I just the auditorium doors were open,
and it was like, man, it was it was. I
blined it. I had to go, and I broke away
from them. I got into the doors. I stood in
the back of the church. Everybody's hands were up. This

(27:32):
man named John Reddick was on stage. Another man named
Chris mcclarney was on stage or singing this stuff about
God turn it around, and I don't even know what's happening.
And next thing, you know, the man that lived his
life as a secret drug addict hiding in playing sight
for fourteen and a half years stood in the back
of that church and my feet had come off the
ground and I'd never been higher. And it was the

(27:55):
most beautiful feeling that I've ever had in my life.
And I thought to myself, what, I didn't have to
do anything for this. I didn't have to pay any money,
I didn't have to use any drugs. I didn't have
to drink twenty beers. I didn't have to do a
single thing. I'm feeling this way right now, higher than
I've ever felt. Romans ten nine says, believe in your

(28:16):
heart and confess with your mouth at Jesus christis Lord
and that God raised him from the dead. And if
you believe that, you will be saved. And I think
my belief everything that was in me in that moment
just said Jesus helped me. I don't know who you are,
I don't know what you are. I don't know anything
about you, but Jesus helped me. I need you, and man,

(28:39):
it was like a It's like a warm blanket from
heaven fell down upon my shoulders and it was just like,
I'm going to sing about Jesus for the rest of
my life. I have no idea how, I have no
idea why. I have no idea when it's going to start.
But I guess it started right there.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
What did the Davenport's saying right now?

Speaker 1 (29:00):
No idea where they even were. I think they might
have just filed in and kind of I don't know
if they were even in yet. Okay, this was a
split second. Yeah, this was as soon as my feet
got into that auditorium and heard that worship, he just
captured my heart. Withever. The date, I have no idea
what the date is. No, and I know I'll fall Yeah, September.

(29:23):
I think it might have been September and I'd have
to look back.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
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(30:55):
I gotta tell you about eeg Fest that is coming
up this weekend. If you're listening to this podcas guest
in real time May ninth and May tenth, I want
you to come and hang out with us, me and
the brothers at the Yegee Farm in Central Texas. We're
gonna have a truck show, a car show. We're gonna
have a mudbog competition with four different categories. Anyone could
enter this. It's gonna be so much fun. Or you

(31:16):
could just come and watch. Lots of good food, lots
of good people from ye Nation. And I'm performing a concert,
the only one of twenty twenty five. Can you believe
that me and the band and crew reunited after two years?
When we are back together for one night only, We're
gonna have the band Reeves with us. Another great act,
the Josh Abbot Band, will be with us. Love those guys,

(31:39):
come and join us. Go to ee Yefest dot com
for more details. If you need to get a hold
of me for any reason, go to cameo dot com
slash granger Smith. In fact, I just literally got a
message from Cameo that says a guy named Ian now
has a request for me. So what I do is
I open this up and I go check out what

(31:59):
Ian wants me to say for him. And for this
it is a happy Birthday to Melinda. So I will
reach out to Melinda. I say happy birthday. It's Granger
Smith here. I hope you have an amazing day. And
I'm gonna tell her what else that I have here
on the little list that Ian has given me. And
then I send it back to him, and then he
has a video message from me that then goes out
to Melinda. It's really cool, it's super easy. I've been

(32:22):
doing this for about six years now. So if you
want to find me and get a special video message
of any kind, go to a cameo dot com slash
Granger Smith.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
But November tenth, twenty nineteen, is when I came out
of the water like a freight train at Church of
the City and everything had just speedily happened right there.
Everything was just fast forward. God just hit the fast
forward button on everything, it seemed like, and I'd look
back and realized all the things and the times that
he was coming after me and coming for me, and

(32:52):
I was just like, Oh my goodness, he was there
the whole time. He was there through all of it.
And he was right in the passer seat every time
I drove drunk, and he was right there with Ryan
and I when I was doing those drugs, and he
was right there with all. And I was like, oh
my goodness, I had this flooding thing. And so I
started writing again. But all of a sudden, my writing
started changing. It was about redemption, it was about love,

(33:13):
it was about Jesus, it was about the Holy Spirit.
It was about light, it was about and I just
couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. And that was like the
first night after my invitation to church and ever since then.
Well it's funny. I've got a new song in this
record coming out in June. I've never been the same

(33:36):
since Jesus, And that basically sums it up, as I've
never been the same since Jesus since I asked him
in my heart.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
And by the way, you shouldn't and if you are
the same, then I don't think you encountered him.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
It would be like if I came in today and
I was like, hey Ben, sorry a little to the podcast.
I was checking the mail and a truck hit me
and you know, but sorry, I'm late, And you'd be like, bro,
I don't think a truck hit you, because I would
know if you encountered a truck that was driving down
the county road. I would know that because of everything

(34:15):
about you.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, And it's this, it's much more with Jesus. If
you if you have an encounter with him, you're not
going to be the same.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Amen. Yeah. And just like that, like a wrecking ball,
out goes the language, out goes the sexy, out goes
the drinking twenty beers a night. And this is over
the course of two months. You still at tutsis Nope?

Speaker 2 (34:38):
What happened? Tell me?

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Man, I honestly don't even know. I was so convicted.
It's crazy how all this happened. I started going, man,
I guess I need to like play in charts now
I quit. It was funny how Tutsi's was really fizzling
out for me, and it was just like, man, this isn't.
This just isn't. All of a sudden, it had come
into another winter, another long winter, and I was just like, right,

(35:00):
it was starting to get cold a little bit, a
little chilly, and I was just like, man, what a
perfect time. But also I was so convicted because next thing,
you know, I'm not drinking anymore. I don't want to
drink anymore. I don't even want to be around alcohol anymore.
It just did nothing but rob the life out of me.

(35:20):
It numbed the life out of me and the Christ
in me. And so it's just like, I'm done with drinking.
I lost a lot of friends, and a lot of
people were kind of like, bro, what is this? Oh
are you brainwashed? What's the church thing? Like? Why Jesus thing?

(35:45):
And I heard a lot of don't forget where you're from.
You need to get back to your roots. And the
whole time I was, which I think is hilarious because
I actually really was getting back to my roots, that
was being a child of the Most hi God. But anyway,
I started playing. I started playing churches. I would go

(36:06):
home pastors instead of bar owners. Pastors started hearing, Oh,
Ben Fuller gave his life to Christ. This is awesome.
Come tell your testimony. We'd like to hear your story.
We'd love to hear you lead worship. Will you come
here to this celebrate Recovery program? Will you come here
to our Wednesday night worship service. All of a sudden

(36:28):
it started changing. And this guy named Jimmy Nielson who
owns this awesome he owned this awesome coffee shop, Remix
Coffee Bar, and he once turned me down because of
who I was, and he repented of that. He told
me that story later, and once he found out I
gave my life to Christ, he invited me into that
coffee shop because it's like this Jesus based coffee shop.

(36:51):
And he's like, man, you're a little rough for us.
We just didn't really want we couldn't yeah exactly, yeah,
and we didn't want you to kind of come in
and you were kind of a little rough and tough.
And I was like, man, I need to honor the
folks that are in here.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
And that wasn't necessarily a sin on this, No, not
at all.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
And he honestly told me, he's just like, man, like,
I just got to come clean and tell you, and
he did. He confess that to me, and I thought
it was so awesome. It's so cool of him to
say it. But all of a sudden, I started playing
Remix and they kind of became this really safe place
for me to come home. And then they were like
helping raise money for me, and all of a sudden,

(37:26):
like checks started showing up in the mail down in Nashville,
and I find myself with this little log cabin an
hour and a half south in Nashville. I rented this
little cabin. I wrote one hundred and seventeen songs in
six months with some of the best Christian Jesus loving
songwriters there are in this whole entire world. And I

(37:48):
started having label meetings and the doors just started getting
kicked just left and right and play this church and
come here and tour there, and all of a sudden
it was like casting Crowns and Zach william and hey,
will you come on tour? Will you come open for us?
I signed my record deal, and it was like, in
twenty one, twenty and twenty one, COVID was the best

(38:09):
year of my life. I'm praising Jesus with all I've got.
I'm like, well, I take the world away from me
and I'll be okay, like that kind of thing. If
I got Jesus, I got it all. All of a sudden,
all these lyrics and songs started coming and an album
was put together and I just I was. I didn't
even have time to really think. It was just it

(38:31):
just kept happening, and doors just kept opening, and other
ones started slamming shut. And next thing you know, I'm
you know, here, I am in Texas in front of
Grangers Smith, sharing my testimony of nearly six years sober
and celibate and walking this thing out in Jesus' name,

(38:53):
trying my best as I fall, as I fail, as
I lust, as I get back up again, and scray
and pull and tear, and just keep this word near
and dear to my heart and open it every day
and try try my best to just read a little bit,
no matter what the circumstances are. And it's like it
just keep getting life and and and fed by this book.

(39:18):
And it's just and it's been amazing. But I'll tell
you what God did for me is he sent the
most incredible group of people, and he put them around
me to help hold me accountable and to help keep
me sober and to help keep me going because this
tour life, this road life, you know, this ministry that
God has given me the steward and it is not

(39:41):
and the devil hates my guts and it's gotten so
difficult at times. But I'll tell you when I've got,
you know, a best friend that lays a hand on
my shoulder and praise for me. You know who plays
guitar beside me, Taylor every single night, you know, And
I've got a piano player that backs me up and says, man,
I've been praying for you today, bro, you know, and

(40:02):
it's like, man, you have you know, just having that
accountability for me is everything, and that's how I've been
able to continue down this path. But God, more than
you could ask, think or imagine, is what this book says.
And so I've been able to meet people like Brian Welch.
You know that I used to cut myself to corn

(40:25):
to the band, you know, the rock music, to relieve myself.
And then next thing, you know, his crazy self is like,
well I love Jesus too, and it's like you do,
you do too, And all of a sudden, I'm like
my mind is blown on how he's come to Christ.
And then you know, Jody Messina calls and she's like, hey,
I'd like to write a song with you. My kids

(40:47):
heard who I Am on the radio this morning getting
ready for school, and it really touched him and it
touched me, And it's like what you know right now?
And to you know this new record and having carry
under would sing on it, and it's just like, you
know more than I could ask. But her too, she

(41:07):
finds her strength from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
And so it's like, wait a minute, what is this?
All these things right? That scripture that I had just
read about do not love the world, and the world
is passing away along with its desires. But whoever does
the will of God abides forever first John two seventeen.

(41:33):
And that was the word for me this morning. And
so it's like, I just think about your career and
your life and all the things and how He's brought
you back full time working for the best employer ever
and just loving Jesus and being unashamed about it.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
It's like, man, it's cool. It's crazy. It's crazy, It
is crazy, but it's cool. There's also more to you
than music. Yeah, because the Lord has gifted.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
You with a as as a communicator. You have a cadence,
You have a way of choosing your words that sounds
a little bit like, shall we say, preaching. So I
don't think. I don't think the Lord is It says
beIN Fuller is a singer, songwriter, musician and that's the

(42:26):
end of it. What do you say to that?

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Yeah, I say, Man, whatever you got for me? Lord?

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Yeah, well that's what you said when you walked in.
Not about that. You just said, Hey, I'm just here
to just say what Lord, let me be available. Yeah,
that's the first thing you said. But but but I
do say that because there are to be a singer
songwriter musician, sometimes you could be introverted and kind of

(42:55):
you sing better than you talk. Yeah, and I think
you do both well. So that's it's interesting to think that.
I think there is a you know, just the way
you tell your story, there is there's a cadence that
that you could be a teacher.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Wow, thank you, And then you had to be careful
of that because teachers are judged man stricter. And I
think maybe that's why I think there's nothing more there's
nothing more nerve wracking to go on stage night after
night in front of thousands of people that I don't

(43:30):
know but also are hanging possibly hanging on words that
I've said or songs that I've sung. Or things like that,
and I go up and invite the Holy Spirit. I
think the hardest thing is what I'm trying to say
is to get out of the way and to let
the Holy Spirit do the work night after night, and
to go up on that stage, empty filled but empty,

(43:53):
and say, Lord, I just want to I just want
to be used by you. I just want you to
say what you need to say to I mean, the
other night in Houston was the most powerful. I end
up jumping off the stage and praying for people. But
it was like, I don't even know what happened, But
when the Holy Spirit comes into the room and fills
the room up, it's it's it's something. The fullness of

(44:15):
joy is in the presence of God and and and
it's like there you need nothing else, there's no lack.
And in that moment it was like man, before that,
I was looking forward to in and out Burger, like
I wanted to eat. I wanted to eat. And then
all of a sudden, in that moment, I couldn't think
of anything more that I wanted to do. Would just

(44:36):
sit there and just be in His presence and and
just bathe in it, and just sit in it and
just sleep in it and work in it and walking it,
you know. And it lasted like fifteen minutes. It was
most beautiful and it did nothing but just increase my faith.
When are you gonna do that again? Welly could use
some more of that. That really filled me up, That

(44:56):
really encouraged me.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
So what are you doing practically to to have this emptying?
And what you mean is you're emptying yourself and and
and filling yourself so that the Word dwells in you richly.
How are you practically doing that?

Speaker 1 (45:09):
Man?

Speaker 2 (45:09):
You know, that's not a gotcha, that's not a question.
But yeah, I expect.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
I really think it comes back to who I'm surrounded
with and by in my band. They're nothing but disciples
for Christ, and they love Jesus more than me. So
they're always bringing the word. They're always reminding me of
who I am in Christ. They're always checking in on me.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
I was on the elevator in the elevator with some
of those guys.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
Uh Taylor recently, he's like, he's like, that was greater Smith.
He's like he didn't really. He's like, oh my goodness,
I would have said something if I knew. And I
was like Oh, it's great, you know. But anyway, he said,
you're really sweet to them. And but those guys hold
me accountable. And they're all different. You see. Some are loud,
most of them are pretty quiet guys, and they're pretty introverted.

(45:52):
But they're in the word, and so when they speak,
it's just nothing but and it's like, man, it just
ministers to me because I'm so loud and proud for
and after everything he's done for me, how could I
not sing and tell about his goodness?

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Right?

Speaker 1 (46:06):
And so they know that about me. But even last night,
I was just I had reached a point of being
peopled out, and I was just man after the stories,
and I think with that the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, there are lots of
more testimonies that come.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Man.

Speaker 1 (46:23):
I had a gun in my mouth too, Man. I
lost the best friend to heroin. Man, I was a
drug addict. I was drinking too much. I deal with lust.
All this stuff comes at me and so it's like
constantly I'm just having to toss it back up to
the Lord and give it back up to the Lord.

(46:45):
And so I think the key is to answer your question.
I know, it wasn't a question. But every night before
we go on stage. And I got this from watching
documentary from Michael Weaver and the band Big Daddy Weave.
But they check in with each other every single night
and they pray before they go on stage, and they

(47:05):
just empty themselves. Did you have a fight with your
wife today? How you doing? Are you okay? Did you
not feel good today? You have a headache? You know?
Are you worried about bills back at home? The weather's
been crazy in Nashville last few days, so wives and
girlfriends and stuff have been kind of concerned and worked
up and you know, uneasy, and so that's shaken us

(47:26):
up here on the road. How can we pray for
our wives and girlfriends back home? And it's just that empty.
I think that that's what it kind of looks like.
And then we go on stage and we're like, okay, Lord,
we got nothing on our minds and nothing on our
hearts but you, and we just want to do your will,
you know, because it can easily be about I've grown
so tired of those lights, I really have. And I

(47:50):
think that, you know, to a fault, it's almost like,
you know, Okay, I'm sick of it, you know, because
I'm not Jesus and I am not God, and I
have a tendency to play God some days with my
friends and family even that are still on the fence
about Jesus, and they're watching me do it night after
night after night, you know. And how can I continue

(48:13):
to give John the Baptist is one that's stuck in
my head. How do I decrease as Jesus increase.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
So Jesus as as one man in his incarnation, in
the person of Christ, in his humanity, would be in
these groups of testimonies like you're talking about, and whether
it was healing or casting out a demon or sitting

(48:42):
with compassion with people, and he would have to retreat
and he would have to go into the wilderness into seclusion,
and he would have to make sure that he had
time with the Father in quiet, away from people. Is
that something you think about too.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Yeah, Well, it's funny that you mentioned that, because I
don't know what scripture is, and maybe you do. Honestly,
I was a little I was a little like hoping
that you'd preach to me today, honestly and with the
amount that you know. But I'm serious because I was
coming in here going, I don't know much about this book.
I'm learning a lot about the Bible and his word
and and and as I dig in more and more

(49:18):
and more. So I was a little bit intimidated coming
in here this morning. I really think I really was.
But there's a scripture, and maybe you you could tell
me wherever. There's a scripture where Jesus had just healed
and hung and healed with a whole bunch or healed
a whole bunch of people on the shore, and he

(49:39):
was out in a boat, and he took the boat
and went to the other side, kind of trying to
find get some away time, you know. And all of
a sudden he gets to the other shore and there's
another group of people, and I think the Bible said
it was like a bigger group of people, A larger
group of people were waiting for him on the other side,
and it was like and what he did at the
Bible said he had compassion on that. And so I

(50:01):
think about that as I go from city to city.
And it's so hard, Paul said, apart from Christ, my
flesh can do no good. And so I think about
that as I go from city to city and crowd
to crowd as I minister and meet people, hear testimony

(50:22):
after testimony that are so beautiful and amazing and powerful
and encouraging, but also they can be really heavy and
wait and waity on my shoulders, and next thing you know,
I start to carry that yoke.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
And so about three or four cities ago, I was
in the back of that I went to the bus.
It was raining and we're in Chicago. I went to
the back of the bus to make a coffee. I
had the coffee kit back there, and I started to
pour over and I sat back and had reached the end,

(51:00):
and I took a sip, and I set it back,
and I fell asleep. About seven minutes. I fell asleep
for and I woke up. Come to me. All you
are weary, and I will give you rest. You hadn't
come to me, he said, And I felt that with
everything that I was, he said, you haven't even made
time for me today. I've been going to everybody else.

(51:23):
I've been going to my band members. I've been going
to the promoter. I've been going to the tour manager.
I've been going to strangers. I've been going to coffee shops,
I've been going to a grocery store everywhere, and it's like, man,
but you didn't come to me. And for seven minutes
I rested with him, and it was like I had
spent an eternity with him, and I woke up like, well,

(51:46):
I don't even need that coffee. I was just restored,
and I felt rested. I felt rejuvenated. I felt ready
for the show. I wasn't even And I hate to
call them shows because they're not shows. They're for real.
It's really my life exactly. Yeah, praise good, thank you.
We're gonna go shoot shotguns after that, Yeah, we are,
and so praise God for that too. And so I'm

(52:08):
just like, man, Okay, I'm not ready for this show.
But he knew I would come to him in there,
and he used a coffee. He brought me in there
in the back of that bus because I wanted a
coffee more than him in that moment. And then all
of a sudden, he got my priorities straight. And so
he does that to me often, where he'll use I
love antiquing, I love to go, I love antiques, I

(52:30):
love old things, civil war stuff, battlefields. He'll draw me
to those places just to teach me a lesson, just
to show me that he's there too. And so I'm
looking forward to the lesson that's here today. I don't
know what it is. I just it's an honor to be.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
With you lesson every day. Yeah, you know, you never know. Yeah,
I mean it sounds like you're you're you're open to it,
and that's yeah. So much of this it's just Lord,
like you said, just be open.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, yeah, I don't want to miss it. And I've
missed it. I missed it for a long time, saying
thirty one years. I missed it for thirty one years. Same,
and so it's like, man, I I don't want to
miss it anymore.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Well as I think about your story that I think about,
you know, the analogy, the illustration you had with with
Jesus on on the shore and the disciples leave and
he's by himself and he sees another another crowd finds him.
Well after that, in sequence, the disciples are on the
lake and storms, big storm comes and we could oftentimes

(53:35):
see ourselves in the shoes of the disciples more than
we can, you know, the incarnate son of God, uh.
And they were terrified after everything that had happened. Everything
they'd see, all the miracles they'd seen. They were terrified.
The sequence after that is when they get to the
other shore and it's the the maniac, it's the it's
the demon in the cave that ends up being Legion

(53:59):
and that it's interesting it if you think this isn't
necessarily biblical, but it's interesting to think that. Was it
that the force of that demon in the cave that
comes out, what do you want with me? Son of God?
You know? Was that connected to the storm? Maybe?

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (54:17):
And and actually Anthony sitting right here, you and I
both been to the spot, right, we've both been to
that that cave and and yeah, well yeah, the tags
one of the water and we thought about this scene
standing on that on that shore, cave right behind us,
and you think about the boat coming in and you
could see the demon man, the demon, the demon in

(54:40):
the man would have been able to see that boat
from a long way off, seeing the storm and see
it a very tired Jesus. Yeah, and see them hit
the shore. And the Bible says that he's he's naked,
and he's cut, he's he's cut himself, he's broken chains.
The whole community everyone stays away from this cave, and
he runs out there and screams at Jesus. Think about

(55:05):
the disciples. It doesn't mention them. What in the world
is going on with those guys. They're in the storm.
Jesus calms it. They have seen the wildest stuff, and
now they get to the shore. This demon that they
might even heard about comes running out of the cave,
streaming naked, cut, chains broken, and they're just like, I imagine,

(55:26):
I'm sitting in that boat, like I ain't coming out
of this boat. Man. Ye little faith, yeah yeah. And
that so that after yee of little faith, now we're
back in the night, is still going So anyway, I
guess I think about as you as you kind of
make the illustration of you with the crowds. Sometimes the

(55:47):
storm comes after that.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
And we have to be prepared for the storm because
if we look to the storm, then the size of
the storm because becomes our God.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
Really yeah wow.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
And instead we look to God in the size of God,
who has power over that storm, the one that's able
to calm it becomes our peace. So I guess in
just hearing your story, I would say the storm is coming.
It's it's coming for me. It's going for a man here,
it's coming for you. Will we be looking to the storm?

(56:23):
Will be? Will we be looking for the demon running
out of the cave or looking to our Lord? That's
the question, right.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
I knew he'd get preaching, praise God.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
I'm preaching. I don't know if I'm preaching.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
No, you're preaching, all right, And I needed to hear
it because it's exactly what it is. Right. Yeah, I
gotta look to the storm. I'm gonna look to him.
And how big Sometimes the storm can get. It can
get big, man, real big and real fast. You can
have a phone call today and you go, what am I?
What's going on? You know?

Speaker 2 (56:57):
You can have a bus fire tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (56:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
But and that's what we know as Christians that we
will have trouble. Jesus says, we will have tribulation, but
we take heart He's overcome the world.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Amen. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
So then that goes back to you preparing yourself training. Yeah, yeah,
train yourself for godliness, Paul says to Timothy, train yourself
for godliness. The author of Hebrewho says solid food is
for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment,
trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. How

(57:35):
do we do that? How do we train? How do
we practice well? Paul also says that all scriptures breed
out by God and profitable right here for teaching, for reproof,
for correction, and for training and righteousness. That the Man
of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
So as long as you got this your training, you

(57:55):
have everything you need right here to be complete, to
be aimed, to be mature, to eat solid food. Like
the author Hebrews said, don't drink milk. Man, you're done
with milk. You can't drink milk anymore. You're done. Solid
food is the only way you grow. So if this
is part of your life on the road, if you're

(58:16):
reading that and also not with your band and not
with your church, those are different. That's that's amazing. You
should do that. But you need Ben needs his own
time moving forward in the word. It sounds like you're
doing that. You walked in here with it in your hand.
That's a great start. Yeah, But man, he's the first
one to ever come in here and to do that.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Man, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
We've had many pastors on you, so Yeah. If you're
on the road and you wake up and you go, okay,
you remember how you had that feeling where Jesus said,
you haven't come to me yet? Yeah, John, the beginning
of that whole, that book, and the beginning was the Word.
The word is with God. The Word was God. So
if you were going to come to the Word, that's

(58:58):
coming to Jesus, because the Word became and flesh. So
if he says, then you haven't come to me yet,
you could answer that by saying.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Yes, Lord, yeah, here I am.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
I'm coming, I'm coming exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
How crazy though, Thank you. I needed to hear that.
That's why I came here today. But the noise, the lights,
the smoke, the horns, the sirens, the busyness, the reels,
the scrolling, the socials, the junk, the stuff that's passing away,
that's stubble under our feet, that means nothing in the end.

(59:32):
What does it really matter? You know? And so it
it's just Jesus that matters. And so how do I
that's my prayer is how do I continue to fix
my eyes amongst the silly fame and the songs and
the number ones and the things that are to come
or maybe not to come? And am I going to

(59:53):
be fine if they don't?

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Are you asking or telling?

Speaker 1 (59:57):
You're asking? I feel the Holy Spirit? No, I'm just
I'm just I'm asking myself that am I going to
be fine if it doesn't come? Am I going to
be fine without another number one? Well?

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Only you could answer that. How closely are do you
hold number ones?

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Not very close? I've only had one.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
What about your label?

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Wow, that's a good question.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
It'd be weird if they don't care about that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Lord Father, No, I know they do, and I think they.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
Do, which they should they let's not let's not kid here.
They should have. They would be weird if they were
trying to run a business and didn't want to succeed
with the business. But sometimes we attach ourselves to the business.
That's that's the problem with the industry. With me was
that I became the business. I was the widget that
was being sold. So it's easy to say I I'm
running a business and I've detached myself from it. You

(01:00:51):
and I can't do that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
Yeah, you want to know the beautyful? Well, first of all,
I'm not as handsome as you, so I'm not as smart.
I don't know that, but no I do. But I
also I also know this. I don't care who drops me,
who picks me up. Where I'm at doesn't matter. I
don't care. Here I am, Lord send me. I've got
work to do, and I have met people all over
this broken country, from here to California, Sam Quentin prison.

(01:01:17):
It doesn't matter where I go. That's a line of
the there's a line of that song. I just can't
get that song out of my head. Doesn't matter where
I go. All that matters is I'm found. And it's
like I'm going to preach the gospel everywhere I go.
So I don't care who's pushing me, who's helping me.
It doesn't matter. I'm gonna have the door open right now.
Your voice is opening the door. Amen, I've got work

(01:01:39):
to do it. What if I lost my voice?

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Exactly?

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
And I think a good question. I think about that too.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Well, then you go, Well, the Lord gave me my voice.
The Lord opened the door with the voice that he
gave me. If the Lord takes my voice away, because
he's sovereign, then he certainly will open another door, will
if he wants me speaking?

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Amen?

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
I mean, it's just as easy as that's so good,
or if he does, then he wants me to be
quiet for a little bit. Either way, he's good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
Pastor Granger Smith, y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
I'm giving me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
I'm not giving you credit at all that Holy Spirit
God has anointed you for such a time as this,
and and you've ministered to me today, and so I
just needed to hear this. I needed to come here
and leave the tour of twenty five people to come
here and hear this. And I knew it when I
left this morning. I knew it. I needed some solo

(01:02:32):
time with the Lord and I needed to hear what
you just had to say to me. Well, all of that,
my spirit needed that. Let's get practical. What your what
your Bible looking your Bible reading looking like every day? Yes,
I'm in that thing every day and I think specific
practical psalms. Okay right now you're in this, Yes, okay,

(01:02:54):
what are you doing? I literally am just reading right
through all of them as one and fifty of them. Yeah,
it's a lot, so and but I feel like my
soul has just been so this music thing has been
such a has been such a roller coaster, and so
I feel like the ups and the downs, and right now,
I just feel like I'm okay, Okay, Lord, I'm available,

(01:03:17):
I'm here. What do you want me to say? I
feel like there's been some days where I feel like
these storms in such turmoil my soul. I'm just like
the pressure. I feel like I'm in gathsemine. I'm like,
where is all this pressure coming from? Why do I
feel this way? Why can't I bear another testimony from someone?
Why can't I hear another thing? Why can't I you know? So, anyway,

(01:03:39):
these songs have just been sapped to my soul and
David realizing that Dave has already gone through it, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
And so what you just said, that's actually happening right now.
You're saying, yeah, I'm kind of at my limit right now,
hearing testimony.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Yeah, welly, and being on the road for a week
is you know, so this is no the Lord he's
so he's so kind, but this is no you know,
this is such a divine appointment for me today because
of being here, because of being weary, because of being
worn because of you know, another selfie, another picture, another thing,

(01:04:12):
another encouragement, another you know, and so I needed this
time with him today. But the Psalms have just been
lately for me, have just really got me through so
much just because of the ups and downs and day.
I mean, it's, oh, my soul is crushed. You know what.
My enemies are coming for me, Like I can't handle
them anymore? Will you take them? A wet Lord, help me?
I need praise God. I'm on the mountain to I'm

(01:04:35):
doing great. And it's just like I feel like the
squirrel that I am. The psalms just they do no
administer to me so much and just to the to
the worn out thing back to Jesus was always retreating
back to the wilderness.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
That has to be If our Lord did that, yeah,
and he was, he was fully man and fully God.
If he was doing that, what does that mean for me?
I know, I don't know. I couldn't find fully man.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
Yeah, I'm not going backing up. I can tell you that. Yeah,
And that alone time is hard. But I think that
that alone time is hard to that that alone time
with the Father is hard to come by.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
It's hard to come by you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
And there are so many things keeping us from that,
and the devil is always just like one more thing
or one phone call or one little interruption or one
little you know, Well, I've got half an hour to go,
and then all of a sudden, half an hour gone by.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
You're staying on the bus right now or in the
hotel room. We're well, I'm doing you personally, I used
chang the bus. Yeah, you choose the bus. Yeah, which
is difficult. Yeah, I would make that choice too, But
that's difficult to have. Yeah, alone time with the Lord.
You're literally living on a bus.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
I bought a couple of rooms for the guys. Uh yeah,
the tour. The tour has got a room for us.
And then I bought another room for the guys.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
It's always weird to like to pack a bag and
go when you leave what I'm already comfortable with, to
go just in the door and come right back out
of it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
But I also know the alone time is important for
that boys kind of voice to me too about getting
a loan and spending some of that time with the
Lord and digging in and so. And I felt that
same exact thing today. But the Lord always speaks to
me when I drive, I'd love it. And so the
drive here, hour drive here was fabulous, and I just
love that time that I get with him and it's

(01:06:15):
just me and him, and I feel like the world's
going a million miles an hour, but I'm sitting still. Yeah,
and it's like I just love it anyway. So he
always speaks to me when I he always comforts me
when I drive.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
So let's go back. Let's go back to the psalms
because which I think is that's encouraging and it's awesome
that you're in the psalms right now, but let's make
sure that it's practical so that you go. Yeah, I read,
I read whatever it might be, Yeah, five a day
or I read ten Psalms a day. Yeah, And when
I get to number one fifty, I have a plan. Yeah,

(01:06:50):
because as men, you and I, if we don't have
a plan, it's easier to be like, I don't really
have to skip. I'm not skipping anything because I don't
have any skip. I'm just kind of just flying where
wherever the spirit leads me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
Yeah, And that's kind of how I've been rolling. And
but there's a there's a small group that I've joined
back in Tennessee, and so that's great, but it's also
not great because being on the road. They pray for me.
It's about thirty five men meet five point fifteen. Actually,
Craig Campbell puts it on so at his place in Tennessee,

(01:07:23):
not far about an hour out of Nashville. He's got
a cool little restaurant there, and we all meet five
point fifteen to six fifteen in the morning, the Iron
Men of.

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
Eagleville, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
And so it's a really cool thing. It's like a
bunch of old cowboys and rednecks and NASCAR fans and
a couple of younger guys. And I found myself there
and I got an invite and it was just so
it's been so good for me. And I'm a morning guy,
so I love to wake up early, and it's really special.
But what I found is as those guys pray for

(01:07:54):
me as I'm on the road, it's hard to find consistency.
And the Lord has dealt with me. This is also
so holy Spirit. I believe what you're about to say.
And you don't even know what well, you don't even
know it yet, but I already know this because the
Lord has been dealing with me. I was just at
Craig Mischelle's church in Oklahoma City last week and the

(01:08:16):
Lord's been dealing with me on regularity and tithing and
regular tithing to places as I leave there. Each place
I go is different, but he pours his spirit out
like honey onto that place a little bit differently every
night too. Sometimes there's one hundred people that come to
the altar, sometimes there's only five. I started comparing, is

(01:08:39):
it me? Did I not do a good job? Did
I not sing enough for you? Did I not do
good enough for you? And he said, don't you dare
compare what I'm doing in each city.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
But as I as I.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
Am more regular in your life, I need you to
be more regular too to me. And so this is
holy spirit. That's what I'm saying. Is what you've already
said is so holy spirit. Because I'm a fly by
the seat of my pants squirrel man that opens up
my Bible and goes praise the Lord. This is after
my soul. I'm going to keep reading it and it's
awesome and I love it. But as far as a

(01:09:13):
plan goes, I'm the worst planner ever. You can talk
to any one of my friends.

Speaker 2 (01:09:17):
So there's ever one plan you could have. Let's do this.
You could play Bible Roulette all you want. But at
some level, what we start doing as humans is we
start seeking in the Bible what we're feeling and trying
to get something to satisfy our feeling. Instead of God
dictating I tell you, I tell you who I am,
we start looking for who he is based on I

(01:09:40):
need a loving Father right now. We look for that.
I need a sovereign, almighty Lord right now. I'm looking
for that. I need the Jesus that calms a storm
right now, I'm looking for I need the Jesus that
heals right now, I need the Jesus that weeps. Right now.
We look for those things. It's so good, and God
is all of those things all the time, So let's
let him dictating. Wow, so a plan could be as

(01:10:03):
easy as tomorrow morning you get up and you read
Matthew one.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Yeah, and work tomorrow you read or.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
The next day you read Matthew too. Imagine that. Yeah, right,
I mean it's it's simply. It could be as simple
as that. And don't give up on the psalms either,
do that. You could play Bible roulette all you want,
as long as you have one thing that's regular and God,
God is telling you who he is based on the
early Church fathers, and based on that the the apostle

(01:10:32):
that wrote it in that order, or the letter that
he wrote in a specific order for your soul, because
we can go to read Philippians four, yeah, without reading
Philippians one, and we could go and find do not
be anxious about anything. Or we can go to Philippians
two and see that Paul is worried about a few things.

(01:10:54):
So we need to see that in order. So thank
you for that. There's a we could talk offline. There's
there's a million plans, but I would say the simplest
way is tomorrow you start reading. I'm gonna read Matthew
one tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
Yeah, I'm gonna read Matthew won tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Okay, is exactly what I'm kidding. And then you're gonna
text me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:13):
Yeah, I exactly am gonna text you, and I'm gonna
tell you what I heard, man, and what I found got.
I'm excited with this because literally it's funny and Bible
study and I've been to so many different Bible studies,
and I've done so many different Bible studies, and we'll
get in to the word and we'll get into flippings
or we'll get into Genesis, and that's kind of what
we've been working through Genesis uh in Eagleville, and and

(01:11:33):
so it's just like, man, there's all these things, but
I am so guilty of going to the word and
being like, man, I need an encouraging word. And it's
so funny. The other night, I just I was, I
was so anxious over that of of and this is
so awful. But it's like I got on stage and
I was just like, oh my goodness, I don't have anything,

(01:11:55):
Like I don't have anything for anybody tonight. Do I
need to bring an encouraging world? Do I need to?
You know? And I'm like, Lord, that's not good and
I don't want anything to do with that. And he
blew my mind with his spirit that fell and everyone
was just praying for everyone, and it was amazing. But
it was like I had to say nothing and it
was spoken over me just two weeks ago that I've

(01:12:16):
gotten so good at hearing from God in the noise,
that I'm not good at hearing from Him in the silence. Wow,
And that wrecked me because our life, you know, you know,
the road life is so noisy and so loud and
the inn ears and the things and the frequencies and

(01:12:38):
the drums and the symbols in our ears as we
run around the stage, and it's like it's so loud,
and I'm so good at hearing from the Lord and
those things is stopping and praying and hearing. You know.
I feel like this that it's a lot like Pinocchio
and Geppetto in the way that when I go on
stage empty like that, I just feel like he hooks it,

(01:13:00):
strings up and he kind of dances me round. And
I've gotten that relationship with him and I love him
in the most beautiful way, in the most sweet way,
and I'd love I'd love that our relationship like that.
But I truly believe that this the meat. That's where
we're getting at today with this. That's where you're pointing
me to today is I'm getting fed lots of meat in

(01:13:23):
different places. But I feel like it's like, man, Okay,
I need a regular diet. Yeah, I'm saying that about myself.
I know I need that. And this is in absolute
tune with what the Holy Spirit has been ministering to
me about tithing and giving back, because he says, no,
I want to be more regular in your life. I

(01:13:43):
need that from you. I need more regularity from you.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
Yeah. That's what I felt all week this week, because
what I'm thinking is you're you are right now. You're
in a season where you're hearing the Lord. Yeah, and
that season has been several years. It sounds like, yeah,
But knowing our God, there very well could be a
season where you don't hear from him.

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:06):
Does that mean he's not working? Does that mean he's
not there on the throne. No, But listen to David
Psal I'm thirteen when he says, how long, o Lord,
will you forget me forever? How long will you hide
your face from me? How long nlest I take counsel
in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all
the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

(01:14:29):
Consider and answer me, Oh Lord, my God, lift up
my eyes unless I sleep the sleep of death. Lets
my enemy say I've prevailed over him, Lest my foes rejoice,
because I'm shaken. This is a man who's not hearing
from the Lord. So what does he do in the
moment when he's not hearing, In the season of not hearing?
He goes back to what he remembers, but verse five,

(01:14:51):
I have trusted in your steadfast love. My heart shall
rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord
because he has dealt bountifully with me. That's that's the
armor you need, that's the foundation you need for the
season when he doesn't speak anymore, because you might not.
He doesn't promise, Ben, I'm always gonna speak to you.

(01:15:14):
I'm always gonna fill you with joy. You're gonna feel
me all the time. Maybe not because I mean just logically,
A lot of times when the Lord pulls away from
us is when we hit our knees and go, where
are you God? Which is a good question because we're
in communication when we say that. So you're right now,

(01:15:36):
you're armoring up. If you're in a season right now
where you're hearing from the Lord, you're feeling him, you
feel him all in your spirit. That's amazing, And this
is and you need to you're eating right, and the
famine's coming, so get some fat on your bones so
you can make it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
That's such a way. Yeah, I can't tell you how
timely that is for me, just because of how what
I've been hearing from him and where I'm at right now.
I literally and the regularity was it like that's everything.
That word was regularity. I need you to be regular,
m And it's like, okay, as our lives are everything,

(01:16:17):
but it seems like you know my life at least especially,
I'm just every being pulled in a million different directions. No,
I need you to be regular with me.

Speaker 2 (01:16:23):
And you know what you could do too, is when
you when you on show days, because you're gonna be regular,
you're gonna be reading this on show days. You can
give to your word of encouragement, which you probably usually
do right, Yeah, you could do it from your reading
you had that morning.

Speaker 1 (01:16:36):
Wow, Praise God.

Speaker 2 (01:16:37):
So that'll that will encourage your listeners and it will
also it'll feed you and nourish you because you're gonna
have to process what you read that morning, going okay, Lord,
I'm not gonna skim this because I'm going to use
something from your word to encourage these people tonight. And
it keeps you from getting in this like routine. If
I say the same thing, I say, yes, that's what

(01:16:57):
I would do. I say the same thing, and it
just becomes I don't even know if I if I'm
hearing myself say it yes, but you're like, no, I
gotta I'm gonna go back. It'll be seven pm right
before you go on stage. You're like, I got to
go back to that Matthew one more time to see
Matthew seventeen. What was I looking at there?

Speaker 1 (01:17:13):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
You never that could be a cool thing.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
Yeah, yeah. Pray Scott, when are you coming out on
the road? I mean, are you? Uh? I need to
You've encouraged me so much today. It's like, now I
can't go without you.

Speaker 2 (01:17:27):
Man, I am I don't want to do it without
I am a text away. I've got to thank you.
Two guys right now, we're working through the Bible. We're
working through something called the McShane plan. It's one time
through the Old Testament, two times through the Psalms, and
two times for the New Testament in a year, so
it ends up being about four chapters a day.

Speaker 1 (01:17:44):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
So these two guys, we're about twenty days in and
every single day, every morning we'll do a voice text
to each other different thoughts. And both these guys have
not read all the way through the Bible in their lives,
so some of the stuff is brand new.

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
That's where I'm at. Yeah, so much is brand new.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
They're kind of reacting to it. But man, it's it's
so fun.

Speaker 1 (01:18:06):
Man, I can't even imagine. Good morning guys.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Hey, so this is like the axe attack this morning,
I guess because everybody went there so had some interesting
so you know, we just like, man, I saw something accident.
I got to talk about guys every day every single morning,
and so well, get ready for you, get ready anytime,
get ready.

Speaker 1 (01:18:31):
For some voice memos coming your anytime.

Speaker 2 (01:18:33):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
Yeah, no, I literally can't tell you how holy spirit
today has been for me because that Yeah, I just
needed that. I needed that. I need to hear it.
I've been feeling it, you know how that is how
silly we are, how how how lazy we are. How
it's just like, yeah, but I'll do it sometime other time. Yeah.

(01:18:59):
And then he's like, no, I've been telling you this,
and you know I've been telling you this. Yeah, but
sometimes it's just like man, you know, where the flesh
is weak, the spirit is willing, and it's like I
just I feel that with you today.

Speaker 2 (01:19:12):
So we didn't tie something up. What about your dad?
How's he doing?

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
Wow? Praise God for my dad. He my dad has
been listening to Christian music. My dad has said I
love you Nus numerous times to me, and it's just like, man,
he it's been one of the sweetest transitions. I don't

(01:19:36):
know if he's given his life to Christ yet. He's
just he's still got some cows, some beef cows in Vermont.
He just is like watching this thing, and I just
feel like he's so proud, and he's so proud of
what's happened. He tells everybody that, and everybody I run

(01:19:57):
into tells me he says, you have no idea how proud.
But I think what the coolest thing is is God
has placed as the same way he's done in my life,
believers all around my parents, pastor friends and people, and
and I went home for Christmas and the last time
I saw mom and dad and they invited me to church.

(01:20:21):
It's it's just amazing. My mom and dad said, will
you come to church service with us Christmas? Yes, ma'am,
so that's how Yes, ma'am, Yes, sir, so, that's how.
That's how I let That's how I last summer my
family was they invited me to church so and praising.

Speaker 2 (01:20:38):
Yeah, the Lord is certainly stirring. Yeah, and so many
times you see in a family, it starts one place
and it just starts spreading. Yeah, you know, I'm watching
It started in Europe from Lydia by the by the river,
and Paul goes and there's all these women evidently praying,
and he goes to her and or he preaches to
all of them and she responds, and then her households saved,

(01:21:00):
and then it just keeps writing. And then the whole
city of Philippi is the whole church because of that.
So man, it might, it might, the Lord might use you,
and then your whole household gets saved. Yeah, that's what
we'll be praying for.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
Yeah, thank you. You want to pray, let's do it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
Lord, what a what a privilege it is to to
to think of you, and talk of you, and and
and and wrestle with you, and and sit with your
people to talk about you, uh, and your incredible love
as you have sent your son to the cross to die,

(01:21:40):
to be raised on the third day so that we
could be forgiven the one thing that we desperately need,
all of us as humans, as sinners born with this
disease that we just need to be forgiven, reconciled to you, Lord,
and you have done that, You provided away through your
son Jesus and God. As we sit here and we

(01:22:00):
we we discuss these incredible things as two brand new
brothers who literally met today in this in this house,
in this room. Where as we go our separate ways
which will be you know, are as we as close
as we are right now, we will end up so
many miles apart here just a little bit of time. God,

(01:22:22):
will you cultivate a brotherhood and a friendship between us?

Speaker 1 (01:22:26):
Lord?

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
Will you use Ben's story uh in your your gospel
to all the people that listen to this message?

Speaker 1 (01:22:34):
Will you? Lord?

Speaker 2 (01:22:35):
Will you? Will you save his family? Will you save
his dad?

Speaker 1 (01:22:40):
Lord?

Speaker 2 (01:22:40):
Will you in your kindness will you do that? God?

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
Will you?

Speaker 2 (01:22:45):
Will you save him? And in his mom and and Lord,
will you give him? Will you give him strength during
his concerts when he's when he's singing and telling your
very glorious But Lord, will you also will you draw
him in the quiet times? Will you open his ears
and his heart through your word as you revealed yourself

(01:23:05):
in these very pages of your book that you have
preserved for us. Will you show him that you are
always there for him, and that when he comes to you,
it could be simply in the back of the bus
with the pages of the Bible. What do we thank
you for this opportunity that you have certainly ordained for

(01:23:27):
all this in Jesus' name.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
Amen.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
all of you guys. You could help me out by
rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
YII

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Host

Granger Smith

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