December 23, 2024 • 42 mins
In this episode, Granger unpacks the true role of a pastor, exploring the biblical concept of shepherds and flocks. He reflects on why many people feel disconnected from church and how misunderstanding the role of a pastor plays a big part. He also voices his concerns on an absurd and controversial video of an A.I. chatbot developed by a Pastor.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
What's up, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. So grateful
to have you here. I was talking with some guys
today and thinking about how this podcast has been going
on since twenty seventeen and you guys are still listening,
So I'm very grateful. And the format of this podcast
as you email me Questions podcast at grangersmith dot com,
(00:32):
as the email once again podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Ask me anything could be about any subject. In fact,
the more really, the more crazy, the better because that's
going to make your email stand out and it just
broadens the podcast topics. Really, I think that over the
(00:53):
years we've talked about a whole different I mean, it
has been so so varied in the questions, especially as
is my life has kind of changed through the podcast.
I think the questions for me have changed, and the
audience has changed. I did hear from Tyler, my brother.
(01:13):
I did hear from him and ant Man literally moments
ago before I started this podcast that we are planning
this live podcast tour for twenty twenty five. Tyler said,
you want to do a podcast tour alive where we
you know, set up. We go like to a theater
and we set up on the stage and answer questions live.
(01:36):
He said, do you want to do that with a
live audience in twenty twenty five? I said, bro, I've
been wanting to do that for years. So I don't know.
As far as I know he's planning it. It may
or may not happen soon, but I would imagine it
would happen at some point, not a matter of if.
Just when there's a couple things I want to talk
about on this podcast before we get to the questions,
(01:58):
before we get to your questions, And I've been thinking
about something, and as we talk a lot on here
about churches, and people are looking for churches and thinking
about churches and hurt from churches, and they don't want
to go to church anymore because of what it represents,
or they think that I'm good on my own, I
don't need a church, or I'm good I could find
God in the woods, or you don't need a church
(02:18):
to make you a Christian. You know, we get all
these kind of comments, which which is not my point.
My point is today I think so many times the
root problem of a lot of those jaded feelings about
the gathering is a misunderstanding about the role of pastor.
(02:42):
And that's a pretty deep topic. And the Bible is
a very clear and you might not know this, the
Bible is very clear about the role of a pastor,
what he should be doing, what his job is. Why
the Lord calls pastors, you know, and as leaders of
(03:02):
the church. These pastors sometimes referred to, depending on the church,
as elder, our overseer, our bishop. It's all the same root,
that root of that word what it means in both
Hebrew and Greek, both of them mean shepherd, and they
are thought of. They are illustrated in the Bible as
(03:28):
a shepherd and sheep, the flock. The sheep is the people,
and there is the great shepherd Jesus, and all of
the sheep which she talks to. What she talks about,
like in John ten when he says, my sheep hear
my voice, and they that I know them, and they
(03:50):
follow me, and I give them eternal life, and they
will never perish, and no one will snatch them out
of my hand. Right, So he talks about all the flock.
But then there like these mini flocks, and those are
those are the under shepherds. And that's what we hear
about in the Bible. That's most of the time when
we're hearing about pastors, we're talking about the flocks within
(04:12):
the big flock, and the under shepherds are in charge.
And so these are churches. A church. People are right
in saying that it's not the building and the brick
and the mortar, it is the gathering. That word church
ecclesia means gathering. So the church is the gathering. Which
(04:33):
is why, like for instance, at my church at Amais,
at the beginning, we would say the appropriate way to
start the you know, the the right way to say
hello would be welcome to this gathering of a Mais church.
You see what I mean. So instead of saying welcome
to our church, welcome to the gathering. You know, because
(04:58):
we the people the gathering. This, this is this gathering of
the church. This is today's gathering, right as opposed to
the building of the place. And so when we think
about these under shepherds, pastors, elders, bishops, when we when
(05:19):
we think of this and we think of in terms
of what the Bible always illustrates as a shepherd in sheep,
and we think of the the flock, the think of
the little flock and a flock would be in a
certain area. You would you would understand the boundaries of
the flock. The boundaries of that smaller flock would be
(05:39):
the church. And I'm I'm walking through this because of
I get so many emails and questions about church. What
is church? Why is church? Who is church? You know what?
I don't need to go to church, or I do
need to go to church. But maybe it would help
instead of just saying here's what you need to do,
maybe it would help if first we just talked about
what church is. And that's a longer topic, but just basically,
(06:06):
let's think of it in terms of a shepherd and
a flock, a little flock, and the flock would have boundaries.
You would know who's in the flock. You would know
if you were a shepherd, you would know who are
your sheep, and then who are the sheep in the
mountain over there? That's the other guy's flock, the other shepherd,
and then you would there would be one in the valley,
(06:27):
and that's a bigger flock, and that one that's bigger
in the valley. It has three shepherds because because those
guys have to know every sheep and their flock and
because there's more sheep than the one in the hill,
the ones down here, they need more shepherds. So in
(06:47):
the Bible and the New Testament, when letters are going
to the churches, right, Paul's writing letters, John's writing letters.
These letters go out to the churches and to the elders,
like it's the the elders in Ephesus. So it's plural,
so that the bigger the flock, the more shepherds. Right
(07:08):
are you shocking with me? So far? A shepherd is
thought of as just like a excuse me. A pastor
is thought of just like a shepherd in terms of
their role is to care for the flock, protect, guide,
(07:29):
feed in all the same analogies. And where I'm going
with this really is I think we've i think we've
missedefined it a lot of times. And so when we
think of churches, sometimes we see someone on Instagram could
be me giving a message. And if I'm in New
(07:54):
Jersey given a message, I'm not. I'm not their pastor.
I'm just a preacher. I'm an evangelist coming in and
preaching the word. And that's different than a pastor. A
church must have a pastor, and the bigger it gets
it must have multiple pastors. A church cannot exist with
(08:19):
a gathering of people, which is what it is, and
a preacher or an evangelist that doesn't that doesn't fit
the bill. The evangelist or the preacher could come in
and give a word of exhortation or teaching, but that
guy is not caring for the flock. He's not protecting
(08:41):
the flock from the wolves. He's not feeding the flock
with these the spiritual appet the spiritual nutrients that that
meet the appetite of the flock. You're tracking with me.
So many times we see bad churches and the reason
(09:02):
they're bad, and we might not always can't always point
to it, but one of the overarching reasons is they
have a preacher and not a pastor. And more often
when they're big, they have one preacher and some associate
guys that aren't really doing the job of overseeing either.
(09:25):
And so the church, the gathering doesn't have a leader.
Now watch what the Bible says about this. This is crazy.
Ezekiel thirty four. And you can check me on this,
Ezekiel thirty four. And at the very beginning verse one,
it says, then the word of Yahweh came to me, saying,
son of Man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. So
(09:48):
this is the pastors prophesy, and say to these shepherds,
Thus says Lord Yadweh, Woe shepherds of Israel, who have
been shepherding themselves. Should not the shepherd's shepherd the flock.
You eat the fat and clothe yourself with wool. You
sacrifice the fat sheep without shepherding the flock. Those who
(10:13):
are sickly you have not strengthened, and the disease you
have not healed, and the broken you have not bound up.
And the scattered you have not brought back. Nor have
you searched for the lost. But with strength and with
severity you have dominated them. They were scattered for lack
of a shepherd. They become food for every beast of
(10:34):
the field, and were scattered. My flock wandered through all
the mountains, on every high hill. My flock was scattered
all over the surface of the earth, and there was
no one to seek or search for them. Therefore, you shepherds,
hear the word of Yahweh. And he goes on to
continue to rebuke the shepherds and those are harsh words.
(10:56):
So we could look back at verse four. They kind
of give this gift, this overall definition of what they
what they should be doing, but they're not Verse four.
Those who are sickly you have not strengthened. So a
good pastor would strengthen the flock. The disease do you
have not healed, So a good pastor would be doing
(11:17):
everything he can to heal the flock and the broken.
You have not bound up. We're talking this could be
as broad as you want. Counseling, listening, guiding, and the scattered.
You have not brought back, the wonders, the people that
are that are slipping from the faith, that are that
(11:40):
are haven't been in a few Sundays. Maybe that's it.
Maybe that's it. Are they're getting weaker in the faith,
or there they are wayward, the pastor goes and gets
them and brings them back. And in order to do that,
you would need to know who's who's in the group,
right You can't you can't search for a wayward sheep
if you don't even know who your sheep are, because
it's just so many of them and they just come
(12:00):
and go. You don't even know next, nor have you
searched for the lost same thing, but with strength and
with severity, you've dominated them. That those are harsh words,
and I think with that, I want to play video
and for those of you watch it and can watch it
with me, I'll record it for Paul and those of
you listening, you could just listen because it does the
(12:23):
same thing. But I saw this video. I actually shared
it with Marshall, my pastor, and I'm not gonna I
don't know this guy, so this is nothing on him personally,
but I think it's such a picture of where we
have gone. And so when you hear this, think about
that that rebuke from Ezekiel thirty four that the Lord
(12:44):
is telling his prophet Ezekiel to tell to the shepherds.
Think of that in your mind and think how absolutely
absurd this is. If you're listening right nowt of this
podcast and you're not a Christian, you could absolutely see
how absurd this is for all Christians, and you, the
non believer that's listening, you should laugh at this rightly,
(13:07):
so you could say that is ridiculous. Who does this
guy think he is? And you don't have to be
a believer to agree this is ridiculous and really the
way of the way of so many churches, and that
this is a possible prediction on how a bad, how
much worse it could get. The backstory is all I
(13:30):
really know is this is a megachurch pastor who created
an AI app to pastor his people. So think about
it in terms of a shepherd creates an app to
shepherd the sheep with so much so that the people
could get on the app, download the app, and get
(13:52):
it and then ask him questions and the AI version
of him answers the questions. As if that is fulfilling
the role shepherd, let me press play.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay, I'd love to have my own personal pastor. So
I had to run Governor Ministry's archive and I called
Pastor Ron. And after I call Pastor Ron, let's say,
you know what, Let's say I'm not feeling good to
my brother character. How can I help Pastor Ron, I'm
not feeling well today? Could you pray for me?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
There, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Let's
take a moment to pray together. Heavenly Father, I thank
you that you know us and hear us right now.
I lift up my friend to you. I ask for
your healing touch to be a pon. You'll know more
about it. You have to wait. We'll tell you later.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Now, apparently I don't know a lot about this. But
apparently this app is going to cost money, like fifty bucks.
He's get to charge for it. Let me say, I
do know these guys that posted this. I know of him,
I don't know a lot, and so I will say
(15:06):
that that could this could be all wrong, like that
could be fake. I don't think it is. I think
it's real, but I'm not sitting here stating that this
is absolute fact because I don't know this pastor. And
maybe this is a total parody, but I don't. You
could judge for yourself. I don't think it is. I
think this guy really created an app, a pastor app
that people can get on and say, hey, Pastor, I'm sick,
(15:29):
will you pray for me? And because either he doesn't
want to Ezekiel thirty four, or he's pastor, he's shepherding
himself like Ezekiel thirty four, dominating over them. There's probably
not nearly enough. It sounds like it's a big church,
big megachurch. There's probably not nearly enough pastors to handle
(15:50):
the flock, and or he is he is that cavalier
with the word of God that he has as slipped
away into a form of convenience. That's, you know, helping
him in some way be able to do things that
he really wants to do, like probably play golf or
(16:12):
something like that. Once again, I can't comment too much
on it because I don't know the guy, but I
think it might be just an overall picture of why
people go. I don't think I need church. I wouldn't either.
If I want to that church, I would I would say, grandeur,
I don't need to go to church. Because if that
was the version that that was the only thing you knew,
(16:34):
or if your friend said, hey, come with me to church.
You're not a believer, come with me, and I'm want
to show you church, and you come there, and that
this is the guy, like this is the guy preaching,
and he says, oh, by the way, download my app
for forty nine bucks, and if you need a prayer,
the AI version of me will pray for you from
the algorithm. If I saw that I was an unbeliever
(16:56):
and I went with a friend, I would be like,
ain't going to church anymore. You could have it. You
could have your religion that is so cold and bland
and ridiculous. So if you're in a church right now,
things you should you could be asking yourself is do
I have a relationship with a pastor at my church?
(17:21):
You might be part of a small church and there's
only one pastor, do you have a relationship with him?
If you are part of a moderate or bigger church,
there might be two, three, four, five, ten, twenty pastors.
So I'm saying, do you have a relationship with one
of them? And I'm not talking about the way that
(17:42):
we kind of throw around that word pastor. That's something
you know, that could be a different podcast, But we
throw around that word pastor like youth pastor, worship pastor,
finance pastor, you know, greeting's pastor, sports pastor, like we
throw out all these names. That's not what I mean,
And I think I defined it pretty well earlier what
(18:05):
that word means, the shepherd word means. So you wouldn't
you wouldn't divide it up and say, if you're in
any kind of leadership, let's throw the name pastor on there.
And that's what it's called so you wouldn't be a
worship pastor. A worship pastor doesn't exist. You could have
a worship leader, the guy that or girl that leads worship.
(18:25):
You could do that, but you're not a pastor because
you're not shepherding, teaching, praying, counseling, overseeing, protecting, feeding. That's
not what the worship guy does. The worship guy could
be a pastor, but those are two different roles you
(18:46):
see those They could overlap, but they're different, and so
you wouldn't. You wouldn't get those two things mixed up.
And we need to know this. And so if the
way that I've defined it is that you if you're
listening right now, do you have a relationship with your
pastor or one of them and not this sports guy
(19:10):
or not the greeting guy or not the parking lot pastor,
you know, the janitorial pastor, like you wouldn't. No, I'm
not talking about that. Do you have I'm not talking
about is it your best friend. I'm saying do you
have access to him? If you need to talk to
(19:31):
your pastor? Do you have access to him even today?
Do you have access right now to one of your pastors?
Because if you don't, then you were a sheep without
a shepherd, and you could read Ezekiel thirty four and
see yourself as one of those sheep. I think I
(19:52):
don't know why. It just it occurred to me before
I started this podcast that I wanted to at least
get that ball rolling. So if you're watching on YouTube,
that's a platform for this podcast that you could actually
comment on. So go to YouTube or if you're on
it right now, and comment below and give me some feedback.
(20:12):
And of course, of course your feedback could be Granger,
You're wrong about all this, Granger, I'm so sick of
you talking about this stuff. You're absolutely wrong, You're upside down,
and let me tell you why. Give me a good
give me a good rebuke, and tell me why you
think that. But what I really want is just to
get the gears turning a little bit. I want people
(20:32):
to think and go, oh, maybe maybe I've been thinking
about church all or wrong, or maybe I haven't thought
of it that way. I've had these conversations, countless conversations
in person with people on this very topic, and many
times people will say, I've never thought of it that way.
(20:57):
I was never taught that pastor would be someone that
cares for me. That's interesting, right, very interesting. By the way,
that's on me too. So I am not your pastor.
If you're watching this podcast and you're asking me questions,
I'm just as good as the AI app. I might
as well be Ron's AI pastor or whatever it's called.
(21:20):
But I'm no better than that. So people that ask
me questions, this is a This is a I think,
an edifying conversation that we typically have with each other.
And I enjoy these conversations, and I hope I can
be encouraging and helpful to people with their questions. But
I am not your pastor. I'm just answering your questions.
(21:42):
You know, this time of year, you might be worried
that you didn't get the right gift for someone. Are
you forgot or it's too later you just don't know
what they get them. I've got an idea for you.
Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, and I'll
make you a video message custom just for what you
need to whoever you want me to send it to.
If you have a brother or a spouse, or a
(22:03):
son or a daughter or whoever. It might be just
a friend, maybe it's for you too. I'll make you
a video message on my phone and I'll say whatever
you need me to say. Plus I'll know I'll make
up my own stuff. Go to cameo dot com slash
Granger Smith and I'll do that for you today. Let's
dive into this all this past or talk. You know,
we got to really get into some questions and if
(22:23):
you want to email me podcast at grangersmith dot com.
First one comes from Emily. He says, Hey, Granger, my
husband just got a job offer in another state. It
is a great opportunity for him, but moving means leaving
my family, my job, our church, and everything we build here.
I'm torn between wanting to support him and feeling like
(22:46):
I'm losing my own stability. Have you ever had to
make a big move? How do you decide if it's
worth uprooting everything for a new opportunity. Thanks for listening, Emily. Yeah,
this is tough, and I have moved several states over
before twice, but I wasn't married, i didn't have kids,
(23:12):
and I'm not you. I have seen as these things
play out, and they play out all the time. I
have seen men and women act very differently in these situations,
and usually it's pretty consistent that the man is a
(23:37):
little bit he handles the adventure, the unknown, the excitement
of change, he handles it a little more loosely. I'm
not gonna say he handles it better, because I don't
think this is a matter of better or worse. I
think it's a matter of I've seen the men are
a little bit more free to make the change. Let's
(23:59):
do it, you know, and women, I think which is
I think it's a great trait for a man to
think like that. I think it's great for a man
to say, let's go, let's back up, it's an adventure,
fresh beginnings. We'll start over, we'll make new friends, we'll
grow together, we'll become closer. In fact, I did that
(24:23):
in a small way. I did that whenever after we
lost RIV and I changed houses twice and ended up
where I am here right now, because we lived in
an RV in the barn as we built this house,
and I wanted to get all my family. I wanted
to gather everything and start over in a fresh, unknown,
(24:45):
exciting adventure because I thought that would bond us, and
I think it did so. I think it's a good
thing that a man is so quick to do that,
but such a great balance that it's a good thing
also that a woman is in many ways different than that.
That a woman builds a nest and builds a home
(25:10):
and fills it with with with the things that she loves,
the people that she surrounds herself with, the people that
she loves, and a friends and her network, and her
her grocery store and her garden, and her school, and
her doctor's office and her dentist and her I mean,
(25:31):
we're talking everything from cleaners to farmer's market to the
library to everything that she does. She a woman builds.
And don't we see a picture of this in nature?
Don't we see the beautiful picture every spring when the
sparrows go out and the female sparrows are her gathering, gathering, gathering,
(25:55):
building this nest, building this nest. And I want to
watch that. You know in Texas that it happens as
early as February you start seeing the birds building their nest.
But it's such a picture that can imagine that you know, this,
this female sparrow building a nest and the male is
you know, up on the power line and he's like,
(26:19):
why don't we put the nest over here? Actually, I
think it's a better view over here than the female
is like, I've been working for a month building this nest.
Don't change my mind, right, So, so just naturally because
of our makeup, I think that's the balance. Once again,
that's why, that's why, in God's providence, having a dad
(26:41):
and a mom and a home is that's the balance.
That's that's optimum, right, So the optimal balance creates the
optimal results. It's not always like that, and sometimes situations
happen that we can't the change everything. But I think, Emily,
it's so natural for you to have this reservation to go.
(27:04):
I don't want I don't think I want to move
my family and my job or church, everything we build there.
I don't think that's good. But what is good is
you pumping the brakes on him will help him slow
the process down and make the decisions with a little
more clarity, because he might go a little too fast
(27:25):
and forget about the church situation, forget about the kid's school,
because he could be like, well, my work is here,
and this is a great commute, and this is a
you know, this has got a cool backyard. So I
think we come here and you come in Emily and
you go the backyard's nice. But we need to be
in a place where the kids could have people their kids,
(27:48):
their own age, so they could play. We need to park,
we need This is too far from the church that
we like that we've researched, which you should research that now.
So to say, I'm not telling you, yes, this is
you need to move. I'm saying that what you're feeling
is natural. And sometimes sometimes I shouldn't advocate this, but
(28:12):
I'm but but sometimes the feeling that you have that
you shouldn't go is so big and so overwhelming that
it actually is God using you to tell him no.
And I've seen that play out. It happens in ministry,
and I see it, you know, in my studies in
ministry in seminary, I see this play out a lot
(28:35):
where a man gets a calling from Orlando to shepherd
a church and he says, hey, babe, we're going to
move from Lincoln, Nebraska to Orlando. We're going to do
it and it's a great opportunity and this is what
we need. And the wife goes, I ain't going to Orlando.
I'm not going, and the Lord is using her to
(28:59):
pump the breaks once again. That relationship is so critical
to have both have both opinions. So at some point, Emily,
You're gonna have to reconcile. Is this just my fleshly
feelings or is this something that's much deeper than that.
Do I really have a some kind of sincerity that's selfless,
(29:22):
that's thinking about the kids, and thinking about the new town,
and thinking about my husband and kind of putting this
all together rationally. I think that's you're gonna have to
reconcile that. I have also seen times when the wife
didn't want to go and ended up going and then
ended up loving it. My mom was one and she
(29:44):
tells this story all the time, so I know it
so well. But my dad and his brother works together
for a long time for decades, and my brother, my dad,
my uncle, my dad's brother started this company when they
were in their twenties, and they built it and built
it and built it and worked and worked and worked,
(30:06):
and when they got to be in their late forties,
another company came in and wanted to buy them. And
my uncle is eight years older than my dad, and
so my dad's in his late forties. My uncle is
in his late fifties, and he says, hey, this is
what I want. I want to I want to sell.
(30:29):
This is my dream. Dad's like, I don't know. I
still have a lot left in me. And so Dad says,
I'll still work for the company. My uncle says, okay,
I'll work too. So they decide they're both gonna work.
They're gonna sell, but they're both going to work. So
they sold and they both started working, and the company
fired them after the contract was up or whatever legal had.
(30:51):
The company pushed them out. So my dad has left
without a job. So he decides that he is going
to buy a ranch with the money, sell everything he has,
and buy some land and start cattle ranching. And my
(31:12):
mom is like, no, no, there's no way. I am
not a cattle rancher. My dad's like, the Lord has
put on my heart that we're going to go and
take the boys and we're going to live on a
ranch and raise cattle in a rural area that's twenty
(31:34):
miles to town, in the middle of nowhere. And my
mom's like, no, ain'd that's not happening. The Lord spoke
to you and my mom, I think, she says, She
laughs and says, how do you know that wasn't indigestion
that the Lord spoke to you. But later the Lord
spoke to my mom and she would have to tell
(31:56):
the story, babe. We could bring on her one day.
But the Lord spoke to her in a way that
was very convicting, because she suddenly got this overwhelming feeling
that the Lord was telling her I could speak to
your husband without speaking to you, you know. And she
(32:16):
was very she was very taken back by this idea
that God told her, I don't have to tell you everything.
I could tell him some things, you know, which is
just crushing to the pride. But she folded and she said, okay.
So then that then what happened is Dad, they moved.
They ended up getting this place and moving and Dad died.
(32:43):
I mean, it's crazy. Dad died, and I mean talking
about throw a wrench in some plans. Mom goes forward
with buying the cattle and starts starts the cattle business
(33:04):
of all things, stays there and to this day she
still lives there. After ten years since Dad's been gone,
so they've had the place since the late nineties. But
that's been gone ten years and she's still there and
still has cattle. So Emily, sometimes the Lord doesn't have
(33:30):
to speak to you specifically about a situation. He could
be using your husband. So I think I've given you
a pretty broad scenario of how it could go a
lot of different directions. But there's something to think through
for all of this. Oh sorry, everybody. That's a little
bit of a long answer, but I think it's a
good topic. Next question comes from anonymous granger. First off,
(33:55):
I want to thank you and Amber for everything that
you have done and helped me grow closer to the Lord.
I appreciate the encouragement that you both give. I'm a
teacher in my eighth year. This year has been the
worst of all and I'm trying to deal with a
difficult coworker. I get put down, gossiped about, and I
am never right. Do I just ignore her stand up
(34:19):
for myself. It is really hard for me just to
trust in God. Right now. I am thinking and praying
about switching jobs. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much, Anonymous.
Thanks for the email. It's difficult. This is a hard
question without me knowing very many details about it. So
I always I think of these questions. As you know,
(34:40):
you and I are riding in a cab of a
truck and are sitting around a campfire, and you say,
can I run something by you? And if I hear
this immediately asking more information? First, have you not talked
to the boss because the principle in this case, I'm
assuming there's a principle because you're a teacher, and I'm
(35:02):
assuming it's a school. And I would wonder your coworkers,
your other colleagues, do they know about this? Does the
principle know about this? And maybe most importantly and not
that obvious, does the difficult coworker know this? Does the
difficult coworker know you feel this way? Communication is key,
(35:27):
information is key, and this has to be something. I mean,
you are saying, it's really hard for me to trust
God right now, I'm thinking and praying about switching jobs.
I can't go there yet, you're not trusting God in this.
I can't go there unless I know more information. So
we'll put that away for a second, and we'll just say,
(35:51):
without without gossiping, without slandering, while being gentle and humble
and respectful and yet truthful and bold if you can
(36:12):
combine those different attributes self control, all the fruits of
the spirit. If you can use those attributes and approach
this coworker, then I will start there. In fact, the
(36:33):
Bible would encourage to start there. Hey, could I got
to take you to coffee on Wednesday? Are you free
after work? I'd love to just get away from here,
away from the distractions, and I would love to just
(36:55):
have a cup of coffee with you. Is that is that? Okay? Okay?
You go to coffee, You offer to buy the coffee.
Always courteous, always generous, always respectful, not reactive, You're quick
to listen, slow to anger, right, and you just say
(37:18):
I have struggled. I want to be totally honest with you.
I've done this for eight years, and I've struggled a
bit this year. And I think you probably could see it.
I think you probably have noticed that you and I
don't always see eye to eye on things, and I
just I wanted to take you to coffee to say,
(37:40):
how could I be better for you? How could I
be a better co worker so that for the children,
and for your sake and for my sake, we reduce
this friction, because it just feels like you and I
just kind of rub and I think you're an amazing person,
and so I just want to know how could I
I be better? How can I serve you better? How
(38:03):
could I be a better friend, a better coworker? Because
I love my job and obviously you're really good at
your job and you love your job, So how could
I How can I get in better standings with you?
You start there. I don't think you start anywhere else
(38:25):
but there, And you pray before you do it. You
pray on the way to the coffee, and you literally pray.
Some of y'all listening know exactly what I'm talking about.
You literally pray while you're talking. So in between breaths,
your Lord, give me the words, Lord, give me self control, Lord,
(38:46):
keep me humble, let me be loving to her right
so that you're praying, literally praying why you're talking. You
say that, you get your piece out, and then you
It depends on the reaction, depends on how she reacts
to you. It depends on what she says right there
at coffee, and then how the next few weeks ago,
(39:07):
if things are still really bad, you feel like it
didn't matter. You're being gossiped about slandered. Then you go
to a coworker and you say, I wonder if you
could come with me, if you're agree, and we could
talk to this person together. Is that something we could do,
(39:31):
because I would say, most likely other people see it
and agree with you if they don't, if you're the
only one in the whole school that sees it and
no one else sees it, everyone else loves this coworker.
The problem is you all. It's all you. You see
(39:52):
you can't everyone's not deceived, and you're the only one.
Right that's impossible. So if this person really is a problem,
then other people see it too. And you do another
coffee with a second person and you say, dear co worker,
(40:13):
we met five weeks ago, we talked about this, and
I feel like I'm still not getting it. I feel
like you and I still have some friction, and I
still want to know how I could be better. I've
done this and this and this, like you said, and
I still feel like there's a problem, so much so
(40:33):
that I brought I brought co worker BE here, and
then co worker B says, yeah, you know, coworker A.
I hate to say, but I kind of I agree
with her. I see the same thing, and you and
I have had the same thing. Okay, that's step two.
If she still says, you know, pacifies the situation, it's
(40:57):
still bad. Some more time goes by. Then now it's
time to have a meeting with the principal, the boss.
Bring the boss in, and you say, I got coworker B,
I got coworker A, and we're having a problem. I
don't think it's the best thing for the children, for
us to have this kind of friction. The principle at
(41:20):
that point says work it out, or someone's gonna leave,
or you're fired, or whatever happens. But resolution takes another
step forward at that point. Right. So these are just
practical steps, and all of them involve conversation, being upfront,
being humble, and loving. And if all of that fails,
(41:44):
all of it, then you could think about switching jobs.
But I don't think in your eighth year you switch
jobs until you've gone through those three steps. Okay, my
time is getting late, so I'm gonna end here and
(42:04):
say I love you guys, and we'll see you next Monday.
Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
all of you guys, you could help me out by
rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
(42:25):
YI
What's up, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. So grateful
to have you here. I was talking with some guys
today and thinking about how this podcast has been going
on since twenty seventeen and you guys are still listening,
So I'm very grateful. And the format of this podcast
as you email me Questions podcast at grangersmith dot com,
(00:32):
as the email once again podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Ask me anything could be about any subject. In fact,
the more really, the more crazy, the better because that's
going to make your email stand out and it just
broadens the podcast topics. Really, I think that over the
(00:53):
years we've talked about a whole different I mean, it
has been so so varied in the questions, especially as
is my life has kind of changed through the podcast.
I think the questions for me have changed, and the
audience has changed. I did hear from Tyler, my brother.
(01:13):
I did hear from him and ant Man literally moments
ago before I started this podcast that we are planning
this live podcast tour for twenty twenty five. Tyler said,
you want to do a podcast tour alive where we
you know, set up. We go like to a theater
and we set up on the stage and answer questions live.
(01:36):
He said, do you want to do that with a
live audience in twenty twenty five? I said, bro, I've
been wanting to do that for years. So I don't know.
As far as I know he's planning it. It may
or may not happen soon, but I would imagine it
would happen at some point, not a matter of if.
Just when there's a couple things I want to talk
about on this podcast before we get to the questions,
(01:58):
before we get to your questions, And I've been thinking
about something, and as we talk a lot on here
about churches, and people are looking for churches and thinking
about churches and hurt from churches, and they don't want
to go to church anymore because of what it represents,
or they think that I'm good on my own, I
don't need a church, or I'm good I could find
God in the woods, or you don't need a church
(02:18):
to make you a Christian. You know, we get all
these kind of comments, which which is not my point.
My point is today I think so many times the
root problem of a lot of those jaded feelings about
the gathering is a misunderstanding about the role of pastor.
(02:42):
And that's a pretty deep topic. And the Bible is
a very clear and you might not know this, the
Bible is very clear about the role of a pastor,
what he should be doing, what his job is. Why
the Lord calls pastors, you know, and as leaders of
(03:02):
the church. These pastors sometimes referred to, depending on the church,
as elder, our overseer, our bishop. It's all the same root,
that root of that word what it means in both
Hebrew and Greek, both of them mean shepherd, and they
are thought of. They are illustrated in the Bible as
(03:28):
a shepherd and sheep, the flock. The sheep is the people,
and there is the great shepherd Jesus, and all of
the sheep which she talks to. What she talks about,
like in John ten when he says, my sheep hear
my voice, and they that I know them, and they
(03:50):
follow me, and I give them eternal life, and they
will never perish, and no one will snatch them out
of my hand. Right, So he talks about all the flock.
But then there like these mini flocks, and those are
those are the under shepherds. And that's what we hear
about in the Bible. That's most of the time when
we're hearing about pastors, we're talking about the flocks within
(04:12):
the big flock, and the under shepherds are in charge.
And so these are churches. A church. People are right
in saying that it's not the building and the brick
and the mortar, it is the gathering. That word church
ecclesia means gathering. So the church is the gathering. Which
(04:33):
is why, like for instance, at my church at Amais,
at the beginning, we would say the appropriate way to
start the you know, the the right way to say
hello would be welcome to this gathering of a Mais church.
You see what I mean. So instead of saying welcome
to our church, welcome to the gathering. You know, because
(04:58):
we the people the gathering. This, this is this gathering of
the church. This is today's gathering, right as opposed to
the building of the place. And so when we think
about these under shepherds, pastors, elders, bishops, when we when
(05:19):
we think of this and we think of in terms
of what the Bible always illustrates as a shepherd in sheep,
and we think of the the flock, the think of
the little flock and a flock would be in a
certain area. You would you would understand the boundaries of
the flock. The boundaries of that smaller flock would be
(05:39):
the church. And I'm I'm walking through this because of
I get so many emails and questions about church. What
is church? Why is church? Who is church? You know what?
I don't need to go to church, or I do
need to go to church. But maybe it would help
instead of just saying here's what you need to do,
maybe it would help if first we just talked about
what church is. And that's a longer topic, but just basically,
(06:06):
let's think of it in terms of a shepherd and
a flock, a little flock, and the flock would have boundaries.
You would know who's in the flock. You would know
if you were a shepherd, you would know who are
your sheep, and then who are the sheep in the
mountain over there? That's the other guy's flock, the other shepherd,
and then you would there would be one in the valley,
(06:27):
and that's a bigger flock, and that one that's bigger
in the valley. It has three shepherds because because those
guys have to know every sheep and their flock and
because there's more sheep than the one in the hill,
the ones down here, they need more shepherds. So in
(06:47):
the Bible and the New Testament, when letters are going
to the churches, right, Paul's writing letters, John's writing letters.
These letters go out to the churches and to the elders,
like it's the the elders in Ephesus. So it's plural,
so that the bigger the flock, the more shepherds. Right
(07:08):
are you shocking with me? So far? A shepherd is
thought of as just like a excuse me. A pastor
is thought of just like a shepherd in terms of
their role is to care for the flock, protect, guide,
(07:29):
feed in all the same analogies. And where I'm going
with this really is I think we've i think we've
missedefined it a lot of times. And so when we
think of churches, sometimes we see someone on Instagram could
be me giving a message. And if I'm in New
(07:54):
Jersey given a message, I'm not. I'm not their pastor.
I'm just a preacher. I'm an evangelist coming in and
preaching the word. And that's different than a pastor. A
church must have a pastor, and the bigger it gets
it must have multiple pastors. A church cannot exist with
(08:19):
a gathering of people, which is what it is, and
a preacher or an evangelist that doesn't that doesn't fit
the bill. The evangelist or the preacher could come in
and give a word of exhortation or teaching, but that
guy is not caring for the flock. He's not protecting
(08:41):
the flock from the wolves. He's not feeding the flock
with these the spiritual appet the spiritual nutrients that that
meet the appetite of the flock. You're tracking with me.
So many times we see bad churches and the reason
(09:02):
they're bad, and we might not always can't always point
to it, but one of the overarching reasons is they
have a preacher and not a pastor. And more often
when they're big, they have one preacher and some associate
guys that aren't really doing the job of overseeing either.
(09:25):
And so the church, the gathering doesn't have a leader.
Now watch what the Bible says about this. This is crazy.
Ezekiel thirty four. And you can check me on this,
Ezekiel thirty four. And at the very beginning verse one,
it says, then the word of Yahweh came to me, saying,
son of Man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. So
(09:48):
this is the pastors prophesy, and say to these shepherds,
Thus says Lord Yadweh, Woe shepherds of Israel, who have
been shepherding themselves. Should not the shepherd's shepherd the flock.
You eat the fat and clothe yourself with wool. You
sacrifice the fat sheep without shepherding the flock. Those who
(10:13):
are sickly you have not strengthened, and the disease you
have not healed, and the broken you have not bound up.
And the scattered you have not brought back. Nor have
you searched for the lost. But with strength and with
severity you have dominated them. They were scattered for lack
of a shepherd. They become food for every beast of
(10:34):
the field, and were scattered. My flock wandered through all
the mountains, on every high hill. My flock was scattered
all over the surface of the earth, and there was
no one to seek or search for them. Therefore, you shepherds,
hear the word of Yahweh. And he goes on to
continue to rebuke the shepherds and those are harsh words.
(10:56):
So we could look back at verse four. They kind
of give this gift, this overall definition of what they
what they should be doing, but they're not Verse four.
Those who are sickly you have not strengthened. So a
good pastor would strengthen the flock. The disease do you
have not healed, So a good pastor would be doing
(11:17):
everything he can to heal the flock and the broken.
You have not bound up. We're talking this could be
as broad as you want. Counseling, listening, guiding, and the scattered.
You have not brought back, the wonders, the people that
are that are slipping from the faith, that are that
(11:40):
are haven't been in a few Sundays. Maybe that's it.
Maybe that's it. Are they're getting weaker in the faith,
or there they are wayward, the pastor goes and gets
them and brings them back. And in order to do that,
you would need to know who's who's in the group,
right You can't you can't search for a wayward sheep
if you don't even know who your sheep are, because
it's just so many of them and they just come
(12:00):
and go. You don't even know next, nor have you
searched for the lost same thing, but with strength and
with severity, you've dominated them. That those are harsh words,
and I think with that, I want to play video
and for those of you watch it and can watch it
with me, I'll record it for Paul and those of
you listening, you could just listen because it does the
(12:23):
same thing. But I saw this video. I actually shared
it with Marshall, my pastor, and I'm not gonna I
don't know this guy, so this is nothing on him personally,
but I think it's such a picture of where we
have gone. And so when you hear this, think about
that that rebuke from Ezekiel thirty four that the Lord
(12:44):
is telling his prophet Ezekiel to tell to the shepherds.
Think of that in your mind and think how absolutely
absurd this is. If you're listening right nowt of this
podcast and you're not a Christian, you could absolutely see
how absurd this is for all Christians, and you, the
non believer that's listening, you should laugh at this rightly,
(13:07):
so you could say that is ridiculous. Who does this
guy think he is? And you don't have to be
a believer to agree this is ridiculous and really the
way of the way of so many churches, and that
this is a possible prediction on how a bad, how
much worse it could get. The backstory is all I
(13:30):
really know is this is a megachurch pastor who created
an AI app to pastor his people. So think about
it in terms of a shepherd creates an app to
shepherd the sheep with so much so that the people
could get on the app, download the app, and get
(13:52):
it and then ask him questions and the AI version
of him answers the questions. As if that is fulfilling
the role shepherd, let me press play.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Okay, I'd love to have my own personal pastor. So
I had to run Governor Ministry's archive and I called
Pastor Ron. And after I call Pastor Ron, let's say,
you know what, Let's say I'm not feeling good to
my brother character. How can I help Pastor Ron, I'm
not feeling well today? Could you pray for me?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
There, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Let's
take a moment to pray together. Heavenly Father, I thank
you that you know us and hear us right now.
I lift up my friend to you. I ask for
your healing touch to be a pon. You'll know more
about it. You have to wait. We'll tell you later.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Now, apparently I don't know a lot about this. But
apparently this app is going to cost money, like fifty bucks.
He's get to charge for it. Let me say, I
do know these guys that posted this. I know of him,
I don't know a lot, and so I will say
(15:06):
that that could this could be all wrong, like that
could be fake. I don't think it is. I think
it's real, but I'm not sitting here stating that this
is absolute fact because I don't know this pastor. And
maybe this is a total parody, but I don't. You
could judge for yourself. I don't think it is. I
think this guy really created an app, a pastor app
that people can get on and say, hey, Pastor, I'm sick,
(15:29):
will you pray for me? And because either he doesn't
want to Ezekiel thirty four, or he's pastor, he's shepherding
himself like Ezekiel thirty four, dominating over them. There's probably
not nearly enough. It sounds like it's a big church,
big megachurch. There's probably not nearly enough pastors to handle
(15:50):
the flock, and or he is he is that cavalier
with the word of God that he has as slipped
away into a form of convenience. That's, you know, helping
him in some way be able to do things that
he really wants to do, like probably play golf or
(16:12):
something like that. Once again, I can't comment too much
on it because I don't know the guy, but I
think it might be just an overall picture of why
people go. I don't think I need church. I wouldn't either.
If I want to that church, I would I would say, grandeur,
I don't need to go to church. Because if that
was the version that that was the only thing you knew,
(16:34):
or if your friend said, hey, come with me to church.
You're not a believer, come with me, and I'm want
to show you church, and you come there, and that
this is the guy, like this is the guy preaching,
and he says, oh, by the way, download my app
for forty nine bucks, and if you need a prayer,
the AI version of me will pray for you from
the algorithm. If I saw that I was an unbeliever
(16:56):
and I went with a friend, I would be like,
ain't going to church anymore. You could have it. You
could have your religion that is so cold and bland
and ridiculous. So if you're in a church right now,
things you should you could be asking yourself is do
I have a relationship with a pastor at my church?
(17:21):
You might be part of a small church and there's
only one pastor, do you have a relationship with him?
If you are part of a moderate or bigger church,
there might be two, three, four, five, ten, twenty pastors.
So I'm saying, do you have a relationship with one
of them? And I'm not talking about the way that
(17:42):
we kind of throw around that word pastor. That's something
you know, that could be a different podcast, But we
throw around that word pastor like youth pastor, worship pastor,
finance pastor, you know, greeting's pastor, sports pastor, like we
throw out all these names. That's not what I mean,
And I think I defined it pretty well earlier what
(18:05):
that word means, the shepherd word means. So you wouldn't
you wouldn't divide it up and say, if you're in
any kind of leadership, let's throw the name pastor on there.
And that's what it's called so you wouldn't be a
worship pastor. A worship pastor doesn't exist. You could have
a worship leader, the guy that or girl that leads worship.
(18:25):
You could do that, but you're not a pastor because
you're not shepherding, teaching, praying, counseling, overseeing, protecting, feeding. That's
not what the worship guy does. The worship guy could
be a pastor, but those are two different roles you
(18:46):
see those They could overlap, but they're different, and so
you wouldn't. You wouldn't get those two things mixed up.
And we need to know this. And so if the
way that I've defined it is that you if you're
listening right now, do you have a relationship with your
pastor or one of them and not this sports guy
(19:10):
or not the greeting guy or not the parking lot pastor,
you know, the janitorial pastor, like you wouldn't. No, I'm
not talking about that. Do you have I'm not talking
about is it your best friend. I'm saying do you
have access to him? If you need to talk to
(19:31):
your pastor? Do you have access to him even today?
Do you have access right now to one of your pastors?
Because if you don't, then you were a sheep without
a shepherd, and you could read Ezekiel thirty four and
see yourself as one of those sheep. I think I
(19:52):
don't know why. It just it occurred to me before
I started this podcast that I wanted to at least
get that ball rolling. So if you're watching on YouTube,
that's a platform for this podcast that you could actually
comment on. So go to YouTube or if you're on
it right now, and comment below and give me some feedback.
(20:12):
And of course, of course your feedback could be Granger,
You're wrong about all this, Granger, I'm so sick of
you talking about this stuff. You're absolutely wrong, You're upside down,
and let me tell you why. Give me a good
give me a good rebuke, and tell me why you
think that. But what I really want is just to
get the gears turning a little bit. I want people
(20:32):
to think and go, oh, maybe maybe I've been thinking
about church all or wrong, or maybe I haven't thought
of it that way. I've had these conversations, countless conversations
in person with people on this very topic, and many
times people will say, I've never thought of it that way.
(20:57):
I was never taught that pastor would be someone that
cares for me. That's interesting, right, very interesting. By the way,
that's on me too. So I am not your pastor.
If you're watching this podcast and you're asking me questions,
I'm just as good as the AI app. I might
as well be Ron's AI pastor or whatever it's called.
(21:20):
But I'm no better than that. So people that ask
me questions, this is a This is a I think,
an edifying conversation that we typically have with each other.
And I enjoy these conversations, and I hope I can
be encouraging and helpful to people with their questions. But
I am not your pastor. I'm just answering your questions.
(21:42):
You know, this time of year, you might be worried
that you didn't get the right gift for someone. Are
you forgot or it's too later you just don't know
what they get them. I've got an idea for you.
Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, and I'll
make you a video message custom just for what you
need to whoever you want me to send it to.
If you have a brother or a spouse, or a
(22:03):
son or a daughter or whoever. It might be just
a friend, maybe it's for you too. I'll make you
a video message on my phone and I'll say whatever
you need me to say. Plus I'll know I'll make
up my own stuff. Go to cameo dot com slash
Granger Smith and I'll do that for you today. Let's
dive into this all this past or talk. You know,
we got to really get into some questions and if
(22:23):
you want to email me podcast at grangersmith dot com.
First one comes from Emily. He says, Hey, Granger, my
husband just got a job offer in another state. It
is a great opportunity for him, but moving means leaving
my family, my job, our church, and everything we build here.
I'm torn between wanting to support him and feeling like
(22:46):
I'm losing my own stability. Have you ever had to
make a big move? How do you decide if it's
worth uprooting everything for a new opportunity. Thanks for listening, Emily. Yeah,
this is tough, and I have moved several states over
before twice, but I wasn't married, i didn't have kids,
(23:12):
and I'm not you. I have seen as these things
play out, and they play out all the time. I
have seen men and women act very differently in these situations,
and usually it's pretty consistent that the man is a
(23:37):
little bit he handles the adventure, the unknown, the excitement
of change, he handles it a little more loosely. I'm
not gonna say he handles it better, because I don't
think this is a matter of better or worse. I
think it's a matter of I've seen the men are
a little bit more free to make the change. Let's
(23:59):
do it, you know, and women, I think which is
I think it's a great trait for a man to
think like that. I think it's great for a man
to say, let's go, let's back up, it's an adventure,
fresh beginnings. We'll start over, we'll make new friends, we'll
grow together, we'll become closer. In fact, I did that
(24:23):
in a small way. I did that whenever after we
lost RIV and I changed houses twice and ended up
where I am here right now, because we lived in
an RV in the barn as we built this house,
and I wanted to get all my family. I wanted
to gather everything and start over in a fresh, unknown,
(24:45):
exciting adventure because I thought that would bond us, and
I think it did so. I think it's a good
thing that a man is so quick to do that,
but such a great balance that it's a good thing
also that a woman is in many ways different than that.
That a woman builds a nest and builds a home
(25:10):
and fills it with with with the things that she loves,
the people that she surrounds herself with, the people that
she loves, and a friends and her network, and her
her grocery store and her garden, and her school, and
her doctor's office and her dentist and her I mean,
(25:31):
we're talking everything from cleaners to farmer's market to the
library to everything that she does. She a woman builds.
And don't we see a picture of this in nature?
Don't we see the beautiful picture every spring when the
sparrows go out and the female sparrows are her gathering, gathering, gathering,
(25:55):
building this nest, building this nest. And I want to
watch that. You know in Texas that it happens as
early as February you start seeing the birds building their nest.
But it's such a picture that can imagine that you know, this,
this female sparrow building a nest and the male is
you know, up on the power line and he's like,
(26:19):
why don't we put the nest over here? Actually, I
think it's a better view over here than the female
is like, I've been working for a month building this nest.
Don't change my mind, right, So, so just naturally because
of our makeup, I think that's the balance. Once again,
that's why, that's why, in God's providence, having a dad
(26:41):
and a mom and a home is that's the balance.
That's that's optimum, right, So the optimal balance creates the
optimal results. It's not always like that, and sometimes situations
happen that we can't the change everything. But I think, Emily,
it's so natural for you to have this reservation to go.
(27:04):
I don't want I don't think I want to move
my family and my job or church, everything we build there.
I don't think that's good. But what is good is
you pumping the brakes on him will help him slow
the process down and make the decisions with a little
more clarity, because he might go a little too fast
(27:25):
and forget about the church situation, forget about the kid's school,
because he could be like, well, my work is here,
and this is a great commute, and this is a
you know, this has got a cool backyard. So I
think we come here and you come in Emily and
you go the backyard's nice. But we need to be
in a place where the kids could have people their kids,
(27:48):
their own age, so they could play. We need to park,
we need This is too far from the church that
we like that we've researched, which you should research that now.
So to say, I'm not telling you, yes, this is
you need to move. I'm saying that what you're feeling
is natural. And sometimes sometimes I shouldn't advocate this, but
(28:12):
I'm but but sometimes the feeling that you have that
you shouldn't go is so big and so overwhelming that
it actually is God using you to tell him no.
And I've seen that play out. It happens in ministry,
and I see it, you know, in my studies in
ministry in seminary, I see this play out a lot
(28:35):
where a man gets a calling from Orlando to shepherd
a church and he says, hey, babe, we're going to
move from Lincoln, Nebraska to Orlando. We're going to do
it and it's a great opportunity and this is what
we need. And the wife goes, I ain't going to Orlando.
I'm not going, and the Lord is using her to
(28:59):
pump the breaks once again. That relationship is so critical
to have both have both opinions. So at some point, Emily,
You're gonna have to reconcile. Is this just my fleshly
feelings or is this something that's much deeper than that.
Do I really have a some kind of sincerity that's selfless,
(29:22):
that's thinking about the kids, and thinking about the new town,
and thinking about my husband and kind of putting this
all together rationally. I think that's you're gonna have to
reconcile that. I have also seen times when the wife
didn't want to go and ended up going and then
ended up loving it. My mom was one and she
(29:44):
tells this story all the time, so I know it
so well. But my dad and his brother works together
for a long time for decades, and my brother, my dad,
my uncle, my dad's brother started this company when they
were in their twenties, and they built it and built
it and built it and worked and worked and worked,
(30:06):
and when they got to be in their late forties,
another company came in and wanted to buy them. And
my uncle is eight years older than my dad, and
so my dad's in his late forties. My uncle is
in his late fifties, and he says, hey, this is
what I want. I want to I want to sell.
(30:29):
This is my dream. Dad's like, I don't know. I
still have a lot left in me. And so Dad says,
I'll still work for the company. My uncle says, okay,
I'll work too. So they decide they're both gonna work.
They're gonna sell, but they're both going to work. So
they sold and they both started working, and the company
fired them after the contract was up or whatever legal had.
(30:51):
The company pushed them out. So my dad has left
without a job. So he decides that he is going
to buy a ranch with the money, sell everything he has,
and buy some land and start cattle ranching. And my
(31:12):
mom is like, no, no, there's no way. I am
not a cattle rancher. My dad's like, the Lord has
put on my heart that we're going to go and
take the boys and we're going to live on a
ranch and raise cattle in a rural area that's twenty
(31:34):
miles to town, in the middle of nowhere. And my
mom's like, no, ain'd that's not happening. The Lord spoke
to you and my mom, I think, she says, She
laughs and says, how do you know that wasn't indigestion
that the Lord spoke to you. But later the Lord
spoke to my mom and she would have to tell
(31:56):
the story, babe. We could bring on her one day.
But the Lord spoke to her in a way that
was very convicting, because she suddenly got this overwhelming feeling
that the Lord was telling her I could speak to
your husband without speaking to you, you know. And she
(32:16):
was very she was very taken back by this idea
that God told her, I don't have to tell you everything.
I could tell him some things, you know, which is
just crushing to the pride. But she folded and she said, okay.
So then that then what happened is Dad, they moved.
They ended up getting this place and moving and Dad died.
(32:43):
I mean, it's crazy. Dad died, and I mean talking
about throw a wrench in some plans. Mom goes forward
with buying the cattle and starts starts the cattle business
(33:04):
of all things, stays there and to this day she
still lives there. After ten years since Dad's been gone,
so they've had the place since the late nineties. But
that's been gone ten years and she's still there and
still has cattle. So Emily, sometimes the Lord doesn't have
(33:30):
to speak to you specifically about a situation. He could
be using your husband. So I think I've given you
a pretty broad scenario of how it could go a
lot of different directions. But there's something to think through
for all of this. Oh sorry, everybody. That's a little
bit of a long answer, but I think it's a
good topic. Next question comes from anonymous granger. First off,
(33:55):
I want to thank you and Amber for everything that
you have done and helped me grow closer to the Lord.
I appreciate the encouragement that you both give. I'm a
teacher in my eighth year. This year has been the
worst of all and I'm trying to deal with a
difficult coworker. I get put down, gossiped about, and I
am never right. Do I just ignore her stand up
(34:19):
for myself. It is really hard for me just to
trust in God. Right now. I am thinking and praying
about switching jobs. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much, Anonymous.
Thanks for the email. It's difficult. This is a hard
question without me knowing very many details about it. So
I always I think of these questions. As you know,
(34:40):
you and I are riding in a cab of a
truck and are sitting around a campfire, and you say,
can I run something by you? And if I hear
this immediately asking more information? First, have you not talked
to the boss because the principle in this case, I'm
assuming there's a principle because you're a teacher, and I'm
(35:02):
assuming it's a school. And I would wonder your coworkers,
your other colleagues, do they know about this? Does the
principle know about this? And maybe most importantly and not
that obvious, does the difficult coworker know this? Does the
difficult coworker know you feel this way? Communication is key,
(35:27):
information is key, and this has to be something. I mean,
you are saying, it's really hard for me to trust
God right now, I'm thinking and praying about switching jobs.
I can't go there yet, you're not trusting God in this.
I can't go there unless I know more information. So
we'll put that away for a second, and we'll just say,
(35:51):
without without gossiping, without slandering, while being gentle and humble
and respectful and yet truthful and bold if you can
(36:12):
combine those different attributes self control, all the fruits of
the spirit. If you can use those attributes and approach
this coworker, then I will start there. In fact, the
(36:33):
Bible would encourage to start there. Hey, could I got
to take you to coffee on Wednesday? Are you free
after work? I'd love to just get away from here,
away from the distractions, and I would love to just
(36:55):
have a cup of coffee with you. Is that is that? Okay? Okay?
You go to coffee, You offer to buy the coffee.
Always courteous, always generous, always respectful, not reactive, You're quick
to listen, slow to anger, right, and you just say
(37:18):
I have struggled. I want to be totally honest with you.
I've done this for eight years, and I've struggled a
bit this year. And I think you probably could see it.
I think you probably have noticed that you and I
don't always see eye to eye on things, and I
just I wanted to take you to coffee to say,
(37:40):
how could I be better for you? How could I
be a better co worker so that for the children,
and for your sake and for my sake, we reduce
this friction, because it just feels like you and I
just kind of rub and I think you're an amazing person,
and so I just want to know how could I
I be better? How can I serve you better? How
(38:03):
could I be a better friend, a better coworker? Because
I love my job and obviously you're really good at
your job and you love your job, So how could
I How can I get in better standings with you?
You start there. I don't think you start anywhere else
(38:25):
but there, And you pray before you do it. You
pray on the way to the coffee, and you literally pray.
Some of y'all listening know exactly what I'm talking about.
You literally pray while you're talking. So in between breaths,
your Lord, give me the words, Lord, give me self control, Lord,
(38:46):
keep me humble, let me be loving to her right
so that you're praying, literally praying why you're talking. You
say that, you get your piece out, and then you
It depends on the reaction, depends on how she reacts
to you. It depends on what she says right there
at coffee, and then how the next few weeks ago,
(39:07):
if things are still really bad, you feel like it
didn't matter. You're being gossiped about slandered. Then you go
to a coworker and you say, I wonder if you
could come with me, if you're agree, and we could
talk to this person together. Is that something we could do,
(39:31):
because I would say, most likely other people see it
and agree with you if they don't, if you're the
only one in the whole school that sees it and
no one else sees it, everyone else loves this coworker.
The problem is you all. It's all you. You see
(39:52):
you can't everyone's not deceived, and you're the only one.
Right that's impossible. So if this person really is a problem,
then other people see it too. And you do another
coffee with a second person and you say, dear co worker,
(40:13):
we met five weeks ago, we talked about this, and
I feel like I'm still not getting it. I feel
like you and I still have some friction, and I
still want to know how I could be better. I've
done this and this and this, like you said, and
I still feel like there's a problem, so much so
(40:33):
that I brought I brought co worker BE here, and
then co worker B says, yeah, you know, coworker A.
I hate to say, but I kind of I agree
with her. I see the same thing, and you and
I have had the same thing. Okay, that's step two.
If she still says, you know, pacifies the situation, it's
(40:57):
still bad. Some more time goes by. Then now it's
time to have a meeting with the principal, the boss.
Bring the boss in, and you say, I got coworker B,
I got coworker A, and we're having a problem. I
don't think it's the best thing for the children, for
us to have this kind of friction. The principle at
(41:20):
that point says work it out, or someone's gonna leave,
or you're fired, or whatever happens. But resolution takes another
step forward at that point. Right. So these are just
practical steps, and all of them involve conversation, being upfront,
being humble, and loving. And if all of that fails,
(41:44):
all of it, then you could think about switching jobs.
But I don't think in your eighth year you switch
jobs until you've gone through those three steps. Okay, my
time is getting late, so I'm gonna end here and
(42:04):
say I love you guys, and we'll see you next Monday.
Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
all of you guys, you could help me out by
rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
(42:25):
YI
Host
Granger Smith
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