March 6, 2025 • 44 mins
This week Leslie speaks with Trujillo, who survived years of human tracking, petty crime, and a mental illness in her family to give back to her community. Martha and Leslie talk about Martha' story, the underside of Orange County, and what being a parent means to her.
Hosted by Leslie Dobson.
Produced and edited by Liam Billingham.
Mixed by Aaron Dalton.
Executive producers are Paul Anderson and Scott McCarthy for Workhouse Media.
The views expressed in this podcast episode are solely those of the guest speaker and do not reflect the views of the host or the production company.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
My name is doctor Leslie and this is intentionally disturbing.
Today I have the honor of talking to Martha Trujillo.
Martha is a badass. She was in a gang, she
was exploited sexually, she was a victim of sexual trafficking,
and she has turned her life around. She now teaches
(00:35):
kids how to not get tied up into that system.
And what I also love about this is that she
gives us a glimpse into the dark side of Orange County,
so it's not just the OC as you see it
in the old TV show. I hope you enjoyed the episode, Allayre.
(00:56):
I wanted you to be on because I think where
you are now is so fucking incredible after the life
you've lived, and I feel like the world needs to
hear that anyone can dig up this strength and resiliency
and do whatever the fuck they want with their lives,
no matter what they've been there.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Most definitely, and I think it's it's been such a
long journey that when I would introduce myself, I would
start first with like the fucked up stuff. Yeah first, like, oh,
like here's me, like the former foster youth, former gang member,
former incarcerated person. But now I'm like, I introduce myself
with like, you know what, like let me level up
and just say the good first and then I'll talk
about the rest. But it has been a journey that we.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Have to give the audience a backstory for sure. So
I mean trigger warunning, We're going to talk about sexual assault, trafficking, drugs, incarceration,
organized crime, organized crime gangs. Should we do it? And
like a should we orient them in a linear fashion?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Like I can do it very like like from the
beginning to like I guess where I'm at now where
I ended up?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
But okay, in California, once upon a time, the time
Martha was born and then help.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, so I'm from Forest in California, in Orange County,
Orange County girl. And uh, my life, well with my family, Well,
my mom she was a parent raising me and my
little sister. You know, it was very dysfunctional. She was schizophrenic,
and she was going through a hard time managing work
(02:32):
and try and get by, right, So.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
She was working and she gets funny Yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, it was pretty mild, but like she still had
it and she had to take a lot of medication
for it. And so at one point she couldn't afford it,
and I didn't comprehend all these different things at the time.
I was like nine, so I was when they started
to get more heavier on her the show. We suffered
from mental health. She was orphaned in Mexico and she
immigrated over here. She would hear voice, yeah, hold on yours,
(03:01):
like I've been sitting in the room, and you'd be like,
you know, mih there's a lady right there. I'm like,
fuck where you know what I mean? Like, and and
you knew you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Were, like there really isn't someone there or really.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You know what. At that point, I would believe her
and I would get I would get like scared too,
but I would get the courage to get up or
whatever and do what I need to do for her
to feel comfortable. So that would be happening in a home.
School is fucked up because I would have to deal
with that at home, you know. So elementary school, like
going into finishing elementary school sixth grade, it was kind
(03:33):
of tough. I get acquainted with the neighborhood kids in
in my in my neighborhood again. Yeah, and then I
got jumped in at ten.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So when you say jumped in. I don't think I've
ever heard it phrase like that.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
What do you hear.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Like initiated or that's a very fancy word.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
You get fucked up?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Clearly I'm not in a gang because I don't like
it get jumped in.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well, I think there's there's a lot of misconception, like
for women or for girls like they you know, a
lot of gangs either you get like literally fucked in,
like you get like actually like rape or whatever. Oh
you know, like I guess you can say in that
words if it's like older men doing it, right. I
was from the from the gang Fuller Tin Torkerstown, and
(04:21):
we had like you know, like divisions like they had
the men's division.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
We have the women's division like the boyscouts.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Okay, it was very organized, right, So you had to
get jumped in, so meaning like you had to get
beat up, you know, for a certain amount of time.
So then that happened, and like sixty seconds, but I
swear to god, it feels like an hour.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
But one one person, so many many people are just
beating the shit out of you.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, like punching you punching. You could defend yourself like
it's not like you can just you have to stand
there and just be.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Like oh, like you know, no with weapons or it's
just like no, it's.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Like again again, they're in it, like they're allowing you
into a family. So they're not gonna like hit you
a weapon, nothing like that, but just with their fists,
like their body. Yes, So that happened for about sixty seconds.
But afterwards they pick you up and they're like, oh
my god, you know, like you're a part, you know.
And then that's where it all started.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
They couldn't have just sent you like an evite.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, no, there's no like you know, hey, just RSVP
and then just come and join the meetings.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oh my goodness. Yeah, so this is and it's something
you kind of wanted to to be a part of it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I felt like somebody just living when I when I'm
just living in a world, feel like with nobody's you know,
like I'm just I felt like somebody at that moment,
I'm all right cool, like here, credibility protection, family, just
like a name, more credit to my name, you know.
And I felt like I walked with the with a
different type of spring to my yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
To my walk and stuff ship don't sing.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
So then that happened at ten, things are still going
bad at home. H one night, Well, every night was
kind of hard for my mom because either you know,
like to wake up to like gurgling gurgling sounds because
she was trying to be like commit suicide every night.
So she tried to kill herself.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
She was trying to asphyxiate herself.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, yeah, it was. She was really hurting. She was
in a lot of pain.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
And if you didn't, you didn't stay in her home
for long then.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
So then like one night, I got pretty bad, so
we had to call nine one one. I had to
call it on one. I never you know, I thought
I to call NIONE one because again I already had
learned from that from.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
That like age that what kind of use.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Then we had a landline.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
You had a landline, and you knew you were like
what eleven or.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
At that point I was like, are you like eleven? Yeah,
so time had gone by, but like it was still
getting worse and worse, and word, she was on vacation again.
But then she stopped it because we can't afford it. Well,
she couldn't afford it. I could obviously, I was contributing
to the household.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
But it's so typical too to go on and off
and have ups and downs. This sounds really severe.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah yeah, so yeah, so she has seen something that
something had happened to our work. She had gone raped
at work, and then so that was also happening. And
then she has seen a ghost at work or something
like that, and then basically everything was just dysfunctional, right, Yeah,
So then we called I called him on one that
night because she was about to like really like like
(07:14):
she was turning blue. I'm like, if I don't do something,
because I was already mad at that point, like you
know what do it if you want to, I don't
give a fuck. Was like a cable cord to yeah,
like the landline card and just like holding out like really.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Like yeah, like hanging herself.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
No, just we didn't have we were about to move
at that point, and all we had where we were
sleeping on the ground, you know, on the floor, and
I just remember just hearing like these sounds and my
littlesters saying Corey, like because they were calling Cory, well
they call me Cory. She's like Corey, like do something
like I don't know what to do and my listener
is younger than me, so I'm like all right, So
I turned the light and then she's like almost about
to pass. I'm like, dang, like you have that my
(07:50):
strength and it just that that sight, that moment, it
fucked me up. Yeah, it fuck me And I just
I hated my mom for the longest time or just
like I don't want to say the word hate no more,
but I disliked her. But that moment it felt like hatred.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Can you say a little bit more about like how
how it sucked you.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Up in the sense of like I just felt like
the one person that should have been protecting me or
should have like she brought me into this world. Everything
was notice was everything was good beforehand, right, it was
like she was she she was the best mom, like
morning meals, like she did everything. Everything was happy, everything
was great. You know. Then I think when as you're
growing up and you start seeing different things, like your
(08:28):
sense of like innocence starts withering away. So then that sight,
like just any sense of like innocence that I had
just went out the window, like fuck it, like whatever
starting smo yeah. Yeah, So like I was already kind
dabbling in drugs already Like a ten, I started, you know,
smoking weed. At eleven, I started doing crystal math.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
O' wait, educating crystal math is like on a spoon
and you like that's heroin. Oh okay, how do you
do crystal math?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Crystal math? You can do it in many ways. You
can snort it, you can you can shoot it up,
or you can smoke it.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
How are you acting at? How older people so like
gang members?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, older people that just just they turn you out.
It's a word, like they turn you out. They want
to be the first one to turn you out.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Mean turning out means like introduce you to drugs.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Introducing to anything in sex, freaking anything. It can be
anything like like a lot of pims or explorers will
be like, oh I turned you out, Like I'm wanna
turn you out, Like when I got for my first
tattoo a what like thirteen, no, like fourteen, fifteen, whatever,
I'm like, I want to be the first one, like
basically like right on, like you know, they want to
like be the first ones to turn you out, and
like oh, I want to be the first one that
(09:40):
ever touched up like your your skin on like ink.
It's it's a crazy thing. Like people have like this
certain perception of like with the young people like that
they want to be the first ones to do something.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
That's like grooming. Yeah, grooming, you know't I didn't understand
and of that like older. So they're just watching you,
waiting for these opportunities. Yeah, and there's some kind of
power like they're getting like.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Let me see how she reacts or like whatever. But yeah,
I was eleven when I first tried it, freaking fell
in love with it.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
How did it feel?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Amazing?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I loved it. I loved everything about that drug.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Did it make you feel like like you're having an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
It felt like I could do fucking anything.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Oh, really anything. It felt like I can do anything,
but you have energy too.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, it was used like the best freaking high, you know,
like it really does. And at eleven, like when I
first tried it, I was so confused about the feeling.
It wasn't overwhelming overwhelming feeling because I never felt this
rush right, so I would. I wasn't doing it as often,
like back to back because I was still going to
school and I wasn't always acts seeing that right. But
(10:47):
as the years progressed like it took a hold of
my life for a long time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I mean I can imagine that. So the night you
called nine to one one with your mom, did you
go into foster care? I mean, what happened?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
So my mom got taken to she got like a
psych hold on her, Yeah, like a fifty type thing.
So she went she went away for a while, but
for some reason they didn't know that she had kids
or they didn't ask her. So we were with the
with an ANP for a long time. Uh no, no, no,
we were staying at the apartment still actually by ourselves.
Me and my sister were thinking just I don't know,
(11:21):
maybe she'll come back or whatever. And then I guess,
like a couple of weeks passed by and they're like
my mom had told me, like, yeah, I have kids,
They're like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like she kind of stabilized, She's like, I have my kids.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I need to talk to my daughters. I need to
talk to my daughters, like and and like and then
I was pissed. I'm like, well, now you remember you
have kids, you know, so again you don't understand as
a as a child, like all you needed all the
care abouts like you didn't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
And you had enough food in the house, you had.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Money by like, no, I didn't. We I'll be stealing ship,
making sure my sister ate stuff like that. But but
I think for the most part we had good like
we did stayed. We didn't have that apartment by ourselves.
We had like a nan and uncle, so I think
they also they were also supporting us and helping us out.
But like I didn't like to ask for nothing. I
(12:07):
was like, oh, you know, just but that had happened.
And then afterwards when they found out, Social Services came
and then they took us. Then we went to Orange,
Orange with Children's Home.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Okay, so not you weren't assigned other parents.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
No, my dad, I never I never met him. He
went to he did fifteen years in the penitentiary and
then he got deported for drug trafficking.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
So what is like for people who have never seen
Orange Water or a place like that, what does it
look like?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Oh back then, because I've gone to it recently, it's
still kind of the same stuff. But it's an emergency
shelter for Orange County kids where if a kid is
displaced like a minor from their home or whatever, or
don't have anywhere to go, they runaway stuff like that,
(12:55):
or you know, they go there. It's an emergency shelter.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
And then there's a lot of beds.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
There are little cottages, like little cottages and like units,
right so you're alone in one are going to be
with my sister? Yeah, So first they have like an
intake unit. It's right next to juvenile hall, the juvenile hall,
which is convenient. It's crazy because so it's like Orangewood.
The Orangewood Children's Home is in the middle, and then
(13:21):
the the Lace County Jail is in the side, and
then the juvenile Hall for the minus on the other side,
and the court system is right there.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So they're like, okay, this is the trend. Let's make
it easier for a pipeline. Oh my god, Okay, I
never understood that. So that's fucked up. Actually, yeah, so it's.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Just right in the middle like that. But when we
when there's somebody messing up in the in the home
right away, like there's like a ton no, like a
it's like a gate. You can just transfer a child
from the home to juvenile hall right away. So it's
like super convenient, but why if you're if you start
acting up, because kids are you know, kids that go
(13:58):
there are some of them. We're fucked up, like we're
gonna give a fuck like we'd be you know, they'd
be fighting staff or fighting among themselves because again it's
all Orange County, so imagine having I was already part
of a gang. So when I went there, my first
thought is like, fuck, there's gonna be enemies like people
from Anaheim, people from a park.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
So you're just gonna catch a case like right away.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
It just it just for me. I was just trying
to like lay low and just be like, all right,
what's gonna happen? I guess honestly, my main thought now
after I joined the gang, it was like just gang stuff.
I didn't give a I didn't give a crap able
Like my little sister. I was like, dude, like you
need to work it out yourself. Like I didn't really
care or whatever. I didn't think about her needs or
you know, where her perspective was on the whole situation.
(14:39):
My thing was like, I'm a game member now, and
I need to make sure that I don't rank it,
meaning like I don't like, you know, if someone bangs
on me would say like, hey, where you're from? Like
I don't say, oh, no word because I'm being a bitch.
So uh that so that wouldn't happen. And basically just
making sure that I wrapped my set to the fullest.
(15:00):
That's all I cared about. That's all. Like I didn't
care about school.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I didn't care about But this is like pre pre arrest,
pre yeah, arrest, You're just this is this, This.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Is like eleven right now, I'm eleven, yeah, eleven.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
And how many times have you been arrested?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I've been arrested over thirty times.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
And when was the first time?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
The first time was August first, two thousand and eight.
How old were you? I was thirteen? Wow, thirteen? What happened?
I had just gone expelled that summer, I believe, Yeah,
that year or maybe the year prior. Yeah, I was
(15:43):
already going to maybe to access something like that different
continuation school. But it was in August, so like the
last year I had gone. First two weeks in in
eighth grade, I got expelled from the district because I
was selling and smoking potting like on on campus. So
I got expelled for that was like, you know, the
liseral zero tolerance policy that they have because now it's legal.
(16:05):
But yeah, yeah, and it's all right. It happens for
it happened for a reason. But so so you went
to JUV, So I went to JUVI. So the reason
why I got expelled was because I had her from
the grape mind that some girl has snitched on me.
And again, I was really a reckless bost So I
think I really wasn't covering my tracks for you well,
like if I'm thinking about it now, like like I
(16:27):
probably was being just super sloppy, you know. And so,
but I held this grudge on this one girl. And
so that fast forward to that time when I got arrested.
That night, I had seen that girl kicking it somewhere
like in a park that we normally post up at,
and I started beating her up and I, oh, bitch,
(16:48):
you want to call me a beaner and this and that?
What's up? You know, like she was some white girl whatever,
and I'm like and it's like I fucked her up.
And in the same time, uh, my homegirls that were
around there, they took her bag. I didn't take your back.
I just wanted to beat her up. I didn't want
to like take her stuff. And I'm like, I didn't
give a shit about that. So when I got arrested,
(17:11):
she called the cops and all this stuff, and they
had found us, like we had ram but they caught
up to us and they had lined us up and
she pointed me up from the lineup or whatever. But
obviously I was gonna say that I didn't steal her
bags or you know, because basically it's the robberies to
eleven when you use force or fear. And I was
(17:33):
gonna wrap my friends and be like, oh, yeah, they're
the ones that took the bag. So I'm like, fuck it,
I took it. Whatever. So I got I got arrested
for a sawn battery and first degree robbery, and.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I mean it's a loyalty thing.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah you can't. That was like I felt like that
was my first you know tests in the sense like
I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I can't have a criminal career. So I'm like if
I start snitching now, like.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
What else you wanted a criminal career?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I did?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
That was kind of what you were.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I wanted to be against you to the fullers. I
wanted to be a badass.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And then I mean you were, I guess, so what
are how come you kept getting arrested?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
So after that I served? What did I do? I
did like thirty one days in juvenile. They gave me
a plea because it was my first time. And then
I just kept getting arrested. But I didn't get I
didn't get into juvenile after those times. I just kept
getting arrested. I'll get stay out, stay in the police
station for X amount of time or whatever, just because
(18:35):
they were being assholes, full or timpd. That's gonna comment
on you guys. But some of them cool, don't get
me wrong. I have some some co officers that I met,
but for trespassing, open containers, drug possession, all these different things.
But since the time that I got out from Juvenile Hall,
I was on probation. I was on probation until.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You would get out and then where would you live?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
So my mom and ended up getting this back. So
when I got out of juvenile my mom ended up
getting cussied with me and my sister, and when I
got out, she picked me uprom juvenile Hall. We were
living in basically the heart of the hood, which was
good and it was bad, you know, and so you
had full access to everything shit and no privacy either,
(19:24):
because like even if you wanted to be a regular kid,
you couldn't because I feel like it was always a show.
You always had to be like on set. You had
to be like showing your hardness, your toughness, your you know,
you know, any type of feminine aspect that I wanted
to have or whatever. I feel like I couldn't really
show it because as you're girl and you're like, hey,
maybe I want to be girly like NA, maybe you
(19:45):
couldn't be girly and tough. No, no, I mean you
could be feminine, they still look like a female. I
wasn't dressing like a boy or anything like that, but you know,
you still had to like be like this hard ass,
freaking like Latina, Like oh, you know, like it is typical.
And I feel like not even with just our generation
of young women and you know, older women, like we
(20:06):
just have this like hardcore freaking aspect to us, but
we also want to be very loved, like love me,
but like I'm a bitch, you know, and so so
all that should happen. I was on probation and my
addiction was just getting really bad. Yeah, Like I was
already getting really hooked on it in and out of school.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Is this the is the trafficking.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
So you know what, Like there's different aspects to it.
So trafficking. When we hear trafficking, we think about it.
Like at times people when they hear that word, it's like, oh, foreignly,
like it's happening in the cross borders or something like that.
It's not right, so it was very local. But there's
also another term called sexual exploitation.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
We'll be right back after this break. What's the difference
between trafficking and sexual exploitation.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
The difference between trafficking and sexual exploitation is that sexual
exploitation happens it's like with a minor, right, and then
it can be anything of value that a child needs
to do for a sexual favor, for instance, like and
they may not know it's happening, right, So it can
be like, hey, I'm going to give you a writing,
(21:15):
and now this adult, this predator or whatever person is like, oh,
but like suck my dig type shit like that would happen.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Often that's exploitation, but not for money or anything, or.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
It's for something of value. So the right is a
value It can be for money. It can honestly just
be for money. It can be for drugs. Like I
remember having sex with people because I wanted drugs, but
they wouldn't they wouldn't frame it that way, if that
makes sense. I just knew that as a miner or
as a child, like if I did this, I would
get drugs orlad to get access to whatever. I wouldn't
(21:50):
have to go sleep outside that night, or I wouldn't
have to, you know, worry about food or having a restroom,
like just easy like simple things like basic needs. So
it don't always have to be money or monitor you know,
like something like yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You you've survived and you knew that if you offered
sex that you would.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Or just something of like a sexual favor whatever. Could
it could have been a photo, It could.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Have been like just it could have been a photo.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah. That's why like nowadays a lot of young young
girls and young boys even for because it happens to
men too. Males. You shoot a photo and like the
freaking buyo McDonald's or whatever, or like you know, it's
so easy nowadays, it's like that's where sextortion happens. Yeah,
trafficking is like like where then that's what happened to
(22:39):
me at fifteen. Where it's different, it's like more organized.
It's where, you know, in my opinion, is where you
have the the pamp, the trafficker or whatever, and there's
actual like setups. There's sessions, there's dates you're going out
with you know, your John's and stuff like that, and
there's motel meetups.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
So what's so, how how were you? How did this
all start for y'all?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So for me, it happened with a lot of exploitation
in beginning read because I was asked to drugs. Right,
I would get super high and then like things would
happen right. And then at fifteen, I met this individual
that had this what he he framed it so beautifully,
but he was like, I have this escort service. I'm like,
you know what I mean. I'm like, oh wow, like
(23:22):
you know, it sounds pretty, yeah, my god, I have
all these pretty girls and d D D you know,
like and I'm fifteen. I'm just like being like wowed
by this individual, like wow, like you know, and this
girl he's only getting me high, He's he gave me
all the freaking dope I wanted, all the dope I wanted.
I'm just getting freaking lit.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
So he's building your trust.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yes, I have access to a for me. Honestly, when
I was growing, when I was going through all that stuff,
if I can kick it at a spot that had
a usable restroom, I'm gonna stay there too, as long
as I won, just because like using the restroom, just
like shinering or whatever, it was always such a big deal.
I didn't like to be out there all dirty and stuff.
I mean, somethings that would happen, but like I hated it, Like.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh my god, yeah that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, so as long as I had arestion for me's like,
I'm gonna do what I need to do to just
you know, kick it whatever, even if it's just talking
to these people playing it around. Because I started learning,
I'm like, if I just finessed the situation as much
as like I didn't like having doing things with people sometimes,
like I you know, I still felt very young, and
I felt very vulnerable at times, and I knew but
I just knew I had this drug habit that I
(24:29):
just freaking wanted to get high. And so uh So, anyways,
like he started talking about this escort service after maybe
like a week after we hear he's like.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
This grown adult, Yeah, grown ad and how does he
find you?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
So I met him when I was kicking in the
hood and then a homie from a homie from a
homie from a homie. I met him, and then my
mistake was like leaving my hood to go somewhere else.
It was an Irvine. So he had this nice apartment.
It wasn't furnished. I think that was also a red flag.
Wasn't furnished, furnished, just his bedroom and a few other rooms.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
So this guy's got you come into his apartment and
it's unfurnished and in his bedroom and he's an adults. Yeah,
how old do you think? Like I think he was
like thirty five at the time, and you're fifteen. I'm fifteen, okay,
And then it goes to another level.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah. So one time we had gone out, he's like, hey,
come with me. I need to go pick up like
I think some are dope or whatever. He had to
go pick up like big blocks of it or whatever.
We were in a motel room picking up his stuff,
like a really rundown one. And he gets his calm
and he hangs up and he just looks at me
(25:37):
and my heart kind of dropped. I'm like, what the
fuck happened? Like, am I just gonna I might head?
I'm thinking, ah, this was gonna tell me that I
got to go home or some shit like you know,
And he's like, hey, marked the if you guys don't
know my name. But he's like hey, uh uh what
how down are you to make some money? And I'm like, well,
I'm like I'm gonna be down to make money. He's
(25:59):
like are you sure. It's like yeah, yeah, I'm down.
Like what happened or what It's like? It's like, is
this this individual just calm? And he said he wants
to he wants to meet up with the with the
young girl. It has to be young though, you're young, right,
and like just just have this conversation. Like I'm like, yeah, dude,
you know I'm fifteen, like trying to play it up,
like the fuck you know this like obviously yeah, like
what's up? Like but he makes a landa you're not down,
(26:19):
Like you're not doing that like back and forth like nah,
I'm never mind, ner mind. I'm like I'm like, bro,
what's up? Like I got you what's up?
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Like he's manipulating you into thinking that you now want.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
To yeah, exactly. So I'm like, don't do it, like
what like tell me, tell me, like you know, like
you've been in my hand thing, and this one has
been taking care of me, like he's been by me.
What I need, I feel obligated to say yes, no
matter whether it is. Yeah. So I'm thinking I have
to go and rob somebody. I'm like, let's just fucking
do it, Like where's my gun, where's my ship, you know,
and let's go. He's like, look, I'm gonna set you
(26:49):
up in this room and like just you know, like
you don't got to do nothing, Like that's what he
told me the first time. You don't got to do nothing.
Just go and go in here, and he's gonna place
the money down, and you know, he's going places like
you know, like I think he's had like six hundred
bucks or whatever, Like he's gonna place it down. All
you gotta do is just just finesse it and and
just we're now with the money. I'm like, all right.
(27:11):
It was like some Asian guys that I remember. I
remember the whole detail to this day.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
A room in this guy's apartment.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
No no, no, So there's a different hotel. You got to
go somewhere else in Irvine. And so I go in.
I'm like, yeah, fucking let's do it. So I'm like
you're sure, you're know, wait for me, because I'm like,
I don't want to have sex with no stranger, Like
that's fucking weird, like the hell, But I'm like, I
want to do this for you because we need the money,
you know, like you've been helping me out. Fuck yeah,
He's like we'll get high afterwards and all this whatever,
(27:38):
you know. I'm like I'm like, fuck yeah, it's a win.
And so I did that. I went inside to this room,
met this you know Asian. We're looking guy kind of
you know, just kind of like isolated or whatever, and
like you just feel like he seemed like an antisocial
person for sure. So I go in and I'm super late.
(28:00):
I'm like, hey, I'm fucking being awkward to myself. I'm like,
i I'm like, ad you initiate this, right? So he's
an adult, he's an adult, but I seen that he
put the money down, just kind of like wasting time.
I was like washing my hands. I'm like well I
got it freshen up or whatever, and you know, put
some money down and I go over and you know,
(28:20):
like he's just kind of like, you know, filling up
on me and stuff like that, and I'm like, oh cool,
Like this is I think where I'm like I kind
of froze a little bit. That's where I'm just like
like everything kind of hit back. I'm like, what the
fuck am I doing? Like what am I doing? Like
what am I honestly doing? He starts like fondeling your
pay yeah, yeah, yeah, like stuff like that, just like
under my my sweatshir or whatever, and.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And you're just standing there just shopping.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
There, like and I remember him just saying, you don't
have to do anything just right now. So I remember that.
I remember him saying that. So I'm like, all right, cool,
So like now what's my next? So how am I
going to get out of this? How am I going
to get out of this? So then I'm like, oh,
I got to wash my hands again. So the for
some reason, the sink was right next to the exit,
like the door. So then I grabbed the money and
I did I freaking run as fast as I can,
(29:03):
and uh, the guy the guy didn't. No, he didn't
run after me. I think he also knew that what
he was doing is incorrect. But I really thought I
was doing something in correct by taking this money. I
didn't think I was like a victim. I didn't think
I was like somebody that was being put in a
vulnerable situation. I just thought I'm stealing his money, like
I'm going to get in trouble, you know. So and
(29:26):
you run, Yeah, And the guy was waiting right there
for me. And then I got in the car and
we left, and I remember getting in the car with
him and like I gave him the money. He's like,
you're a good girl, so he told me.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I remember that shit and fucking disgusting.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, And I just remember after that, I got super
high that day, So I think I kept being on
the bench.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
You passed test one pest, yeah, test.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
One for sure with that as Yeah, and then after
that the money just became easy. But also my drug
edition became heavier because of the fact of knowing like
what I was doing and how wrong it was that
there was it turned into actual sex. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Okay, yeah, so you were you were groomed and manipulated
into doing this again. But then engaging and.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, and you know, looking back, I think just with
just men in general, I think I've always wanted to
please them in a sense because I never had a
father figure or never. And I know that's a cliche.
We all say that, like, you know, a lot of
women say that, like, but it's so true. Like I
never had that, like like a positive role model that
was able to like really like guide me or support
and be like this is what a man should like
(30:36):
behave like or what a woman should do in order
to gain their trust or their respect or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I just you know, course you had no role model.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
So then that happened for my trafficking that that's that
stuff happened. It didn't last too long ago, I'm being
honest with you. It lasted for about a year. But
it was a lot of stuff that happened within that year.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
And like how like how many individuals.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
That I encountered? Fuck how not all of them were
like that? I did, like actually like full on stuff
with some of them. I I would run out with money,
But like within that timeframe, like maybe like one hundred
people like that I'd encountered, and either it was like
just a stick up job or it was something else.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
And how are these people getting ahold of your pimp?
Speaker 2 (31:25):
It was like how it was, Uh, it's so organized,
it's so easy. It's so easy, like to just have
like like again, it's the phones, the burners, you know,
the burner phones and stuff like.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
That, like word of mouth.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
They know, yeah, like you know there's word of mouth.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
So what like what was rock bottom?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Rock bottom? Damn? Rock Bottom was just I.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Mean, I assume there's a there's a lot, but what
was like the final one where you were like I'm out?
Speaker 2 (31:53):
I think the addiction, but also the school thing because
I was still minor, so they were calling NonStop like
where the hell is this child and why she's not
in school? And I was still in probation. So I
guess just realizing like damn, like what am I doing?
Because I always wanted to go to school. I loved school.
I love school. I honestly I was such a nerd,
Like I really liked school. I just didn't know how
to focus, but I loved learning and I didn't know
(32:16):
how to show that knowing I had all these labels
and all these identities. Like so after I left, what
we call like you know, trafficking and all that we
call it the life. When I left the life or ye,
you know that stuff, I'm like, okay, how did you
leave the I just left. So like a lot of
a lot of a lot of times, you know pims,
some pims or exploiters. I feel like my guy was
more of an explorer than a pimp. Like he was
(32:36):
with it, but he was also like I know it
sounds so stupid, but he was also he was kind.
I know it sounds so dying.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I mean, but that's the right.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah, he wasn't like when I put hands on me,
he never like told me like mark, like but maybe
he called me foolish, like he didn't like my name,
but like like foolish, like you don't have to stay,
you don't want to, like when you're done, like you
you're done, Like you know, we're making money. But I
fool was always high too, so the drugs would get
to him. So he wasn't only straight minded too. So
I'll come up on money too, and I'll keep my
money to myself as well. Or like I say I
(33:08):
have made seven hundred, I'll give him like four hundred
or five hundred or whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Oh my god, that's a horrible cut, I know. But
did you wear like a fur jacket and a hat?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
No, No, I know, that's a ci you didn't wear.
He was a He looked like a bomb, to be
honest with you, just a white tea and like he
always just looks precked out.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
And I got approached by pimp once in San Francisco,
and he had a fur coat on and like a
really big hat, and he said, hey, bitch, do you
want some work? And I said, no, I got a job.
And he said, but you look like fucking superwoman. People
will pay a lot for you. And I was like, oh,
thank you so much. That's so sweet, but I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
I was terrified. Yeah, yeah, we're going to take a
quick break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Wait, tell me this. Tell me the moment you found
out you were pregnant.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
The moment I found out I was three months preg
I went three months in. I was still smoking dope,
and I remember one time I was kicking it in
the hood and I'm almost smoking a blunt and drinking
and I just freaking passed out, I guess. And my
homie a good homie. I still talk to him to
this day he had he had picked me up and
he took me home. He's like, hey, dude, like, what
(34:20):
the fuck happened to you? Man? You're twitching and shit.
I'm like, well, I don't know, bro, whatp Like, I
don't know what happens. Like He's like, I don't know
if I think you need to kick back, and I'm
like all right, you know. So I'm like, I was
like stressed out and I took a pregnancy test like
the next day, I'm like, oh shit, I'm pregnant, and
I just everything, like the whole like reality of like
what I was doing was just hit me because I
(34:40):
was like, first I didn't want to stop. Yeah, I
didn't want to stop. And and then I'm like should
I have to stop? I had I had previously, like
you know, some abortions that I did when I was
younger because things were happening, you know, obviously things were
happening and night and I wasn't ready. So now that
(35:02):
it's like with this with this parents, I'm like I
have to, Like, you know, I had been talking to God.
On'm like, please Lord, just send me something. The moments
where I was really coming down, like please Lord, I'm
not I'm not trying to do this no more like
send me something that can help me to get out
this fucking.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Life, so you want it.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I wanted to get out as well, but there's moments
where I didn't, like especially with the drug addition. I
wanted to get out the life of like kicking it
and doing all that stuff, but I still wanted to
do drugs. And then there's moments where I just didn't
want it all, and then I was suicidal, and I've
you know, you know, suicide was always something that was
like lurking and like I'll be when you're coming down
hard off drugs. I mean, anybody that has ever done
(35:42):
hardcore drugs, like we've thought about taking our life out,
and so.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Did you ever try and take your life?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yes, but like it was like super like dramatic and
just like it wasn't gonna work because again, you're just
you're just coming down, you don't know what, like you're
going through a hard mental like it's like psychological fucking
your head that you're just you're just like you just
want it to end, but you also just wanted you
just need to get high again probably or just let it.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's what keeps you doing exactly?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
So I mean yeah, like with pills or like trying
to cut myself or whatever. But obviously that that never,
you know, lasted long because then I'll just like snap back.
I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? I just
need to get high.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Oh the cycle, yeah, a brutal fucking cycle. Yeah, so
it was just like damn.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Like I remember one time I would have I was
really trying to quit and I had, you know, packed
my pipe my beause to smoke math. You just you
have to have a pipe of glass pipe or whatever.
I'd packed it and I'm like, funk, what am I doing?
So then I got mad and I smashed it and
I went to go dig it outside in the yard.
So like I did that. But one time I dug
(36:47):
my whole pipe just like fully like loaded and shit,
and I dug it outside the yard, thinking like I'm
not gonna do it if I dig it up, I mean,
if I if I dig it and leave it there.
But no, two hours there, I went in the backyard
d like a freaking fiene and shit. And it's funny
to me now, but like the things that it causes
you to do, but you're just you're not okay in
(37:08):
your head, You're really not well.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
And I appreciate you explaining it, because I don't think
people don't understand it unless I've done it. Addiction is
such as such a people get blamed for addiction.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
No, I mean you know what, Like even when I
got sober, I'm like thinking, like why can't these people
stop or whatever, like like I'm thirty years old old.
Now I'm thirty years old, and I tell people like
I'm still in recovery because like there's moments where I'm
just I just really want to fucking get high. To
be honest, I can imagine, and because I did it
for so long. But I have my son, I have
(37:43):
my family, I have my career, I have this mentorship
that I'm doing doing with students. I don't want to
see what's.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Day to day Like now it's very nice, it's very
not I.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Get to do stuff like this, you know. And obviously
I'm a mom. I take my son to school, will
pick him up.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
How old is he?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
He's nine, going to be ten in December. But I
always tell my son, like, hey, like you're you're the
reason why I stopped a lot of things. You know, like,
and I think he gets it, but he doesn't. You know,
he's asking more questions now about my life and what
I did and whatever. And I'm honest with him, like,
you know, yeah, your mom was a gangster at one
point or a game member or whatever. Because he sees
(38:25):
photos or whatever that I have and I'm not trying
to lie to him.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
I think it's a reasonable age to explain it. I mean,
my seven year old I would explain it. We had
a full talk about the death penalty the other day,
like what's electricution and the firing?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Ye, my son's very morbid, like he likes morbid morbidly
stuff like, and it's cool.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
You're like, oh, I got you. I can share some
stories with you.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
You just drew with the knife. Great, when are we doing?
You know?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
So I got But you can protect him, Yeah, yeah,
I mean you can protect him because you're so aware
of what so many parents are not aware about it.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I don't look get it in the bad way. For me,
It's like, Okay, he's just an imagination. And at the
end of the day, you know the you know the
best people that sometimes creation things. Sometimes we have to
have a little bit of that, like horror and grewsome
stuff that just brings to you know, like it brings
a certain type of beauty to the world.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Right, Well, it's fucking reality exactly. So you get You've
got a master's in criminology, which is also fucking reality.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, what what's the master's cover?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
It covers, Well, basically the study of why people can
make crime. That's the main reason, and I've done I've
always wanted to study that because I always wanted to
know like why, Like when I was game banging and
we're on the streets and I was like, why the
fuck are we out here? Like why are we here?
Why are we committing crime? What caused us to be
here right now? And what's going to be the effect
(39:49):
of us because we're here right now?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
So you were wondering that while it was happening.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
When I was drinking for you and I was writing
down in my journals, and I have actual moments where
I'm like, why are we here? Why are we doing this?
Why are we you know, And I'm just looking around
just like I'm like, damn, like we're just we're just
killing rasa like meaning like we're just killing ourselves, our
own people, and we're hurting our communities and we're just.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
So, what's the answer, Like, why why do gangs exist?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
I think it's because there's such a dysfunction at home
and basic needs are not being met by the adults
that need to be protecting the children. And if those
basic needs are not being mad whatever it can be.
It can be psychological, could be loved, it can be food,
it can be clothing, it can be any of those things.
Or it can be you know, abuse and neglect that
(40:39):
they're being that they're having to endure, maybe not you know, directly,
but in directly by domestic violence within the home, stuff
like that, and that causes a lot of instability in
a child. And then they seek out the gang, Yeah,
or a need. They're going to find a need. They're
going to find something that meets that need that they're craving.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
And then again is for money.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
The gang can be for anything, for commarity, like you
can be for brotherhood or like friendship, for a sense
of belonging, for a sense of like, hey, you have
a fucked up life. I have a fucked up life.
They's all have a fucked up life, you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Did you have to like like trademark your gang name
and start a website or how do you know that
no one else is going to take it and like
make merch out of us.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Funny, Well, you have to ask around.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
I mean you would know, like a gang member, I
have a lawyer.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Right, we should we should have that type of sassy
you know mark that you kind of have that name
belongs to somebody. I was like, you got a trademark.
I know, I got a trademarket.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Okay, So we come full circle and we're sitting in
Orange County after this life that you've.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Lived, Definitely, I think another full circle one for me
was when so I had the opportunity to speak and
all that stuff, but then I got connected back with
my district where at one point I got expelled from.
So this year I was able to get finally received
my eighth grade promotion certificate, and I was able to
shake all the hands of like the eighth graders and
(42:05):
close out that circle. Because I got to expelled, I
didn't get to graduate from eighth grade. So you know,
there's a whole little article and all that stuff, and
I was able to get, you know, my eighth grade certificate.
Say a little speech about it, and you know, it
made me feel really good that my district took me
back and they're now they're the ones investing in me,
and they're you know, that's how I have this mentorship business,
(42:27):
have a grant with them, which is called full Circle.
Orange County is brilliant. It's like my full circle moment. Yeah,
full circle all the way around. And I get to
you know, mentor you know, students that are kids of
my home weans doing time in the penitentiary right now.
So it's like if I can help break that cycle
with them, like we break it right.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
I am so grateful that you came here to talk
with me, and you are such an asset to think
this world and to this community, and I'm so excited
for where you're going to go with us.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I'm excited too.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I'm so excited for the lives that you're changing with
your story. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
One day at a time, one day. I don't always
see it like that, but when I get that you know,
handshake from my students or from just anybody like I like,
I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Them like anytime, man, I appreciate you. And I'm sure
hundreds of thousands of people do and you just don't know.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh, thank you?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, come talk to me anytime.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I'm most definitely you're a very interesting person. Yourself and
your space is incredible and it's right up my alleys,
the girly and also like thuggish.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Right, so for everyone listening, like we're sitting on a
gray couch, but behind me is a hot, pink kitchen,
and then behind Martha is a prison cell. Yeah yeah,
with blood splatter all over the wall, and we're serial killers,
like all over the place serial killers and coasters. But
it's tell adobe like it's a good it's very very
(44:01):
normal for our conversation. I think, Yeah, I definitely definitely,
I think so too.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, I'm really grateful that you came. Thank you for
watching another episode of Intentionally Disturbing. And I'm really happy
that you got to meet Martha because I have to say,
and I don't want to sound biased, but I think
she's like my favorite person ever, the best interviewer. She's
so articulate, she's been through hell and back, and she's
(44:27):
changing the world one kid at a time, one day
at a time, and we need more people like Martha
pushing these movements forward, so thank you again and stay tuned.
I'll see you the next time.
My name is doctor Leslie and this is intentionally disturbing.
Today I have the honor of talking to Martha Trujillo.
Martha is a badass. She was in a gang, she
was exploited sexually, she was a victim of sexual trafficking,
and she has turned her life around. She now teaches
(00:35):
kids how to not get tied up into that system.
And what I also love about this is that she
gives us a glimpse into the dark side of Orange County,
so it's not just the OC as you see it
in the old TV show. I hope you enjoyed the episode, Allayre.
(00:56):
I wanted you to be on because I think where
you are now is so fucking incredible after the life
you've lived, and I feel like the world needs to
hear that anyone can dig up this strength and resiliency
and do whatever the fuck they want with their lives,
no matter what they've been there.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Most definitely, and I think it's it's been such a
long journey that when I would introduce myself, I would
start first with like the fucked up stuff. Yeah first, like, oh,
like here's me, like the former foster youth, former gang member,
former incarcerated person. But now I'm like, I introduce myself
with like, you know what, like let me level up
and just say the good first and then I'll talk
about the rest. But it has been a journey that we.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Have to give the audience a backstory for sure. So
I mean trigger warunning, We're going to talk about sexual assault, trafficking, drugs, incarceration,
organized crime, organized crime gangs. Should we do it? And
like a should we orient them in a linear fashion?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Like I can do it very like like from the
beginning to like I guess where I'm at now where
I ended up?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
But okay, in California, once upon a time, the time
Martha was born and then help.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, so I'm from Forest in California, in Orange County,
Orange County girl. And uh, my life, well with my family, Well,
my mom she was a parent raising me and my
little sister. You know, it was very dysfunctional. She was schizophrenic,
and she was going through a hard time managing work
(02:32):
and try and get by, right, So.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
She was working and she gets funny Yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, it was pretty mild, but like she still had
it and she had to take a lot of medication
for it. And so at one point she couldn't afford it,
and I didn't comprehend all these different things at the time.
I was like nine, so I was when they started
to get more heavier on her the show. We suffered
from mental health. She was orphaned in Mexico and she
immigrated over here. She would hear voice, yeah, hold on yours,
(03:01):
like I've been sitting in the room, and you'd be like,
you know, mih there's a lady right there. I'm like,
fuck where you know what I mean? Like, and and
you knew you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Were, like there really isn't someone there or really.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You know what. At that point, I would believe her
and I would get I would get like scared too,
but I would get the courage to get up or
whatever and do what I need to do for her
to feel comfortable. So that would be happening in a home.
School is fucked up because I would have to deal
with that at home, you know. So elementary school, like
going into finishing elementary school sixth grade, it was kind
(03:33):
of tough. I get acquainted with the neighborhood kids in
in my in my neighborhood again. Yeah, and then I
got jumped in at ten.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So when you say jumped in. I don't think I've
ever heard it phrase like that.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
What do you hear.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Like initiated or that's a very fancy word.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
You get fucked up?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Clearly I'm not in a gang because I don't like
it get jumped in.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Well, I think there's there's a lot of misconception, like
for women or for girls like they you know, a
lot of gangs either you get like literally fucked in,
like you get like actually like rape or whatever. Oh
you know, like I guess you can say in that
words if it's like older men doing it, right. I
was from the from the gang Fuller Tin Torkerstown, and
(04:21):
we had like you know, like divisions like they had
the men's division.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
We have the women's division like the boyscouts.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Okay, it was very organized, right, So you had to
get jumped in, so meaning like you had to get
beat up, you know, for a certain amount of time.
So then that happened, and like sixty seconds, but I
swear to god, it feels like an hour.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
But one one person, so many many people are just
beating the shit out of you.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, like punching you punching. You could defend yourself like
it's not like you can just you have to stand
there and just be.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Like oh, like you know, no with weapons or it's
just like no, it's.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Like again again, they're in it, like they're allowing you
into a family. So they're not gonna like hit you
a weapon, nothing like that, but just with their fists,
like their body. Yes, So that happened for about sixty seconds.
But afterwards they pick you up and they're like, oh
my god, you know, like you're a part, you know.
And then that's where it all started.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
They couldn't have just sent you like an evite.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, no, there's no like you know, hey, just RSVP
and then just come and join the meetings.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oh my goodness. Yeah, so this is and it's something
you kind of wanted to to be a part of it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I felt like somebody just living when I when I'm
just living in a world, feel like with nobody's you know,
like I'm just I felt like somebody at that moment,
I'm all right cool, like here, credibility protection, family, just
like a name, more credit to my name, you know.
And I felt like I walked with the with a
different type of spring to my yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
To my walk and stuff ship don't sing.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
So then that happened at ten, things are still going
bad at home. H one night, Well, every night was
kind of hard for my mom because either you know,
like to wake up to like gurgling gurgling sounds because
she was trying to be like commit suicide every night.
So she tried to kill herself.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
She was trying to asphyxiate herself.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, yeah, it was. She was really hurting. She was
in a lot of pain.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
And if you didn't, you didn't stay in her home
for long then.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
So then like one night, I got pretty bad, so
we had to call nine one one. I had to
call it on one. I never you know, I thought
I to call NIONE one because again I already had
learned from that from.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
That like age that what kind of use.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Then we had a landline.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
You had a landline, and you knew you were like
what eleven or.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
At that point I was like, are you like eleven? Yeah,
so time had gone by, but like it was still
getting worse and worse, and word, she was on vacation again.
But then she stopped it because we can't afford it. Well,
she couldn't afford it. I could obviously, I was contributing
to the household.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
But it's so typical too to go on and off
and have ups and downs. This sounds really severe.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah yeah, so yeah, so she has seen something that
something had happened to our work. She had gone raped
at work, and then so that was also happening. And
then she has seen a ghost at work or something
like that, and then basically everything was just dysfunctional, right, Yeah,
So then we called I called him on one that
night because she was about to like really like like
(07:14):
she was turning blue. I'm like, if I don't do something,
because I was already mad at that point, like you
know what do it if you want to, I don't
give a fuck. Was like a cable cord to yeah,
like the landline card and just like holding out like really.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Like yeah, like hanging herself.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
No, just we didn't have we were about to move
at that point, and all we had where we were
sleeping on the ground, you know, on the floor, and
I just remember just hearing like these sounds and my
littlesters saying Corey, like because they were calling Cory, well
they call me Cory. She's like Corey, like do something
like I don't know what to do and my listener
is younger than me, so I'm like all right, So
I turned the light and then she's like almost about
to pass. I'm like, dang, like you have that my
(07:50):
strength and it just that that sight, that moment, it
fucked me up. Yeah, it fuck me And I just
I hated my mom for the longest time or just
like I don't want to say the word hate no more,
but I disliked her. But that moment it felt like hatred.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Can you say a little bit more about like how
how it sucked you.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Up in the sense of like I just felt like
the one person that should have been protecting me or
should have like she brought me into this world. Everything
was notice was everything was good beforehand, right, it was
like she was she she was the best mom, like
morning meals, like she did everything. Everything was happy, everything
was great. You know. Then I think when as you're
growing up and you start seeing different things, like your
(08:28):
sense of like innocence starts withering away. So then that sight,
like just any sense of like innocence that I had
just went out the window, like fuck it, like whatever
starting smo yeah. Yeah, So like I was already kind
dabbling in drugs already Like a ten, I started, you know,
smoking weed. At eleven, I started doing crystal math.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
O' wait, educating crystal math is like on a spoon
and you like that's heroin. Oh okay, how do you
do crystal math?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Crystal math? You can do it in many ways. You
can snort it, you can you can shoot it up,
or you can smoke it.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
How are you acting at? How older people so like
gang members?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, older people that just just they turn you out.
It's a word, like they turn you out. They want
to be the first one to turn you out.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Mean turning out means like introduce you to drugs.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Introducing to anything in sex, freaking anything. It can be
anything like like a lot of pims or explorers will
be like, oh I turned you out, Like I'm wanna
turn you out, Like when I got for my first
tattoo a what like thirteen, no, like fourteen, fifteen, whatever,
I'm like, I want to be the first one, like
basically like right on, like you know, they want to
like be the first ones to turn you out, and
like oh, I want to be the first one that
(09:40):
ever touched up like your your skin on like ink.
It's it's a crazy thing. Like people have like this
certain perception of like with the young people like that
they want to be the first ones to do something.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
That's like grooming. Yeah, grooming, you know't I didn't understand
and of that like older. So they're just watching you,
waiting for these opportunities. Yeah, and there's some kind of
power like they're getting like.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Let me see how she reacts or like whatever. But yeah,
I was eleven when I first tried it, freaking fell
in love with it.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
How did it feel?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Amazing?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I loved it. I loved everything about that drug.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Did it make you feel like like you're having an orgasm?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
It felt like I could do fucking anything.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Oh, really anything. It felt like I can do anything,
but you have energy too.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, it was used like the best freaking high, you know,
like it really does. And at eleven, like when I
first tried it, I was so confused about the feeling.
It wasn't overwhelming overwhelming feeling because I never felt this
rush right, so I would. I wasn't doing it as often,
like back to back because I was still going to
school and I wasn't always acts seeing that right. But
(10:47):
as the years progressed like it took a hold of
my life for a long time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
I mean I can imagine that. So the night you
called nine to one one with your mom, did you
go into foster care? I mean, what happened?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
So my mom got taken to she got like a
psych hold on her, Yeah, like a fifty type thing.
So she went she went away for a while, but
for some reason they didn't know that she had kids
or they didn't ask her. So we were with the
with an ANP for a long time. Uh no, no, no,
we were staying at the apartment still actually by ourselves.
Me and my sister were thinking just I don't know,
(11:21):
maybe she'll come back or whatever. And then I guess,
like a couple of weeks passed by and they're like
my mom had told me, like, yeah, I have kids,
They're like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like she kind of stabilized, She's like, I have my kids.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I need to talk to my daughters. I need to
talk to my daughters, like and and like and then
I was pissed. I'm like, well, now you remember you
have kids, you know, so again you don't understand as
a as a child, like all you needed all the
care abouts like you didn't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
And you had enough food in the house, you had.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Money by like, no, I didn't. We I'll be stealing ship,
making sure my sister ate stuff like that. But but
I think for the most part we had good like
we did stayed. We didn't have that apartment by ourselves.
We had like a nan and uncle, so I think
they also they were also supporting us and helping us out.
But like I didn't like to ask for nothing. I
(12:07):
was like, oh, you know, just but that had happened.
And then afterwards when they found out, Social Services came
and then they took us. Then we went to Orange,
Orange with Children's Home.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Okay, so not you weren't assigned other parents.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
No, my dad, I never I never met him. He
went to he did fifteen years in the penitentiary and
then he got deported for drug trafficking.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
So what is like for people who have never seen
Orange Water or a place like that, what does it
look like?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Oh back then, because I've gone to it recently, it's
still kind of the same stuff. But it's an emergency
shelter for Orange County kids where if a kid is
displaced like a minor from their home or whatever, or
don't have anywhere to go, they runaway stuff like that,
(12:55):
or you know, they go there. It's an emergency shelter.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
And then there's a lot of beds.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
There are little cottages, like little cottages and like units,
right so you're alone in one are going to be
with my sister? Yeah, So first they have like an
intake unit. It's right next to juvenile hall, the juvenile hall,
which is convenient. It's crazy because so it's like Orangewood.
The Orangewood Children's Home is in the middle, and then
(13:21):
the the Lace County Jail is in the side, and
then the juvenile Hall for the minus on the other side,
and the court system is right there.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So they're like, okay, this is the trend. Let's make
it easier for a pipeline. Oh my god, Okay, I
never understood that. So that's fucked up. Actually, yeah, so it's.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Just right in the middle like that. But when we
when there's somebody messing up in the in the home
right away, like there's like a ton no, like a
it's like a gate. You can just transfer a child
from the home to juvenile hall right away. So it's
like super convenient, but why if you're if you start
acting up, because kids are you know, kids that go
(13:58):
there are some of them. We're fucked up, like we're
gonna give a fuck like we'd be you know, they'd
be fighting staff or fighting among themselves because again it's
all Orange County, so imagine having I was already part
of a gang. So when I went there, my first
thought is like, fuck, there's gonna be enemies like people
from Anaheim, people from a park.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
So you're just gonna catch a case like right away.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
It just it just for me. I was just trying
to like lay low and just be like, all right,
what's gonna happen? I guess honestly, my main thought now
after I joined the gang, it was like just gang stuff.
I didn't give a I didn't give a crap able
Like my little sister. I was like, dude, like you
need to work it out yourself. Like I didn't really
care or whatever. I didn't think about her needs or
you know, where her perspective was on the whole situation.
(14:39):
My thing was like, I'm a game member now, and
I need to make sure that I don't rank it,
meaning like I don't like, you know, if someone bangs
on me would say like, hey, where you're from? Like
I don't say, oh, no word because I'm being a bitch.
So uh that so that wouldn't happen. And basically just
making sure that I wrapped my set to the fullest.
(15:00):
That's all I cared about. That's all. Like I didn't
care about school.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I didn't care about But this is like pre pre arrest,
pre yeah, arrest, You're just this is this, This.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Is like eleven right now, I'm eleven, yeah, eleven.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
And how many times have you been arrested?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I've been arrested over thirty times.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
And when was the first time?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
The first time was August first, two thousand and eight.
How old were you? I was thirteen? Wow, thirteen? What happened?
I had just gone expelled that summer, I believe, Yeah,
that year or maybe the year prior. Yeah, I was
(15:43):
already going to maybe to access something like that different
continuation school. But it was in August, so like the
last year I had gone. First two weeks in in
eighth grade, I got expelled from the district because I
was selling and smoking potting like on on campus. So
I got expelled for that was like, you know, the
liseral zero tolerance policy that they have because now it's legal.
(16:05):
But yeah, yeah, and it's all right. It happens for
it happened for a reason. But so so you went
to JUV, So I went to JUVI. So the reason
why I got expelled was because I had her from
the grape mind that some girl has snitched on me.
And again, I was really a reckless bost So I
think I really wasn't covering my tracks for you well,
like if I'm thinking about it now, like like I
(16:27):
probably was being just super sloppy, you know. And so,
but I held this grudge on this one girl. And
so that fast forward to that time when I got arrested.
That night, I had seen that girl kicking it somewhere
like in a park that we normally post up at,
and I started beating her up and I, oh, bitch,
(16:48):
you want to call me a beaner and this and that?
What's up? You know, like she was some white girl whatever,
and I'm like and it's like I fucked her up.
And in the same time, uh, my homegirls that were
around there, they took her bag. I didn't take your back.
I just wanted to beat her up. I didn't want
to like take her stuff. And I'm like, I didn't
give a shit about that. So when I got arrested,
(17:11):
she called the cops and all this stuff, and they
had found us, like we had ram but they caught
up to us and they had lined us up and
she pointed me up from the lineup or whatever. But
obviously I was gonna say that I didn't steal her
bags or you know, because basically it's the robberies to
eleven when you use force or fear. And I was
(17:33):
gonna wrap my friends and be like, oh, yeah, they're
the ones that took the bag. So I'm like, fuck it,
I took it. Whatever. So I got I got arrested
for a sawn battery and first degree robbery, and.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I mean it's a loyalty thing.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah you can't. That was like I felt like that
was my first you know tests in the sense like
I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I can't have a criminal career. So I'm like if
I start snitching now, like.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
What else you wanted a criminal career?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
I did?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
That was kind of what you were.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I wanted to be against you to the fullers. I
wanted to be a badass.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And then I mean you were, I guess, so what
are how come you kept getting arrested?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
So after that I served? What did I do? I
did like thirty one days in juvenile. They gave me
a plea because it was my first time. And then
I just kept getting arrested. But I didn't get I
didn't get into juvenile after those times. I just kept
getting arrested. I'll get stay out, stay in the police
station for X amount of time or whatever, just because
(18:35):
they were being assholes, full or timpd. That's gonna comment
on you guys. But some of them cool, don't get
me wrong. I have some some co officers that I met,
but for trespassing, open containers, drug possession, all these different things.
But since the time that I got out from Juvenile Hall,
I was on probation. I was on probation until.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You would get out and then where would you live?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
So my mom and ended up getting this back. So
when I got out of juvenile my mom ended up
getting cussied with me and my sister, and when I
got out, she picked me uprom juvenile Hall. We were
living in basically the heart of the hood, which was
good and it was bad, you know, and so you
had full access to everything shit and no privacy either,
(19:24):
because like even if you wanted to be a regular kid,
you couldn't because I feel like it was always a show.
You always had to be like on set. You had
to be like showing your hardness, your toughness, your you know,
you know, any type of feminine aspect that I wanted
to have or whatever. I feel like I couldn't really
show it because as you're girl and you're like, hey,
maybe I want to be girly like NA, maybe you
(19:45):
couldn't be girly and tough. No, no, I mean you
could be feminine, they still look like a female. I
wasn't dressing like a boy or anything like that, but you know,
you still had to like be like this hard ass,
freaking like Latina, Like oh, you know, like it is typical.
And I feel like not even with just our generation
of young women and you know, older women, like we
(20:06):
just have this like hardcore freaking aspect to us, but
we also want to be very loved, like love me,
but like I'm a bitch, you know, and so so
all that should happen. I was on probation and my
addiction was just getting really bad. Yeah, Like I was
already getting really hooked on it in and out of school.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Is this the is the trafficking.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
So you know what, Like there's different aspects to it.
So trafficking. When we hear trafficking, we think about it.
Like at times people when they hear that word, it's like, oh, foreignly,
like it's happening in the cross borders or something like that.
It's not right, so it was very local. But there's
also another term called sexual exploitation.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
We'll be right back after this break. What's the difference
between trafficking and sexual exploitation.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
The difference between trafficking and sexual exploitation is that sexual
exploitation happens it's like with a minor, right, and then
it can be anything of value that a child needs
to do for a sexual favor, for instance, like and
they may not know it's happening, right, So it can
be like, hey, I'm going to give you a writing,
(21:15):
and now this adult, this predator or whatever person is like, oh,
but like suck my dig type shit like that would happen.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Often that's exploitation, but not for money or anything, or.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
It's for something of value. So the right is a
value It can be for money. It can honestly just
be for money. It can be for drugs. Like I
remember having sex with people because I wanted drugs, but
they wouldn't they wouldn't frame it that way, if that
makes sense. I just knew that as a miner or
as a child, like if I did this, I would
get drugs orlad to get access to whatever. I wouldn't
(21:50):
have to go sleep outside that night, or I wouldn't
have to, you know, worry about food or having a restroom,
like just easy like simple things like basic needs. So
it don't always have to be money or monitor you know,
like something like yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You you've survived and you knew that if you offered
sex that you would.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Or just something of like a sexual favor whatever. Could
it could have been a photo, It could.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Have been like just it could have been a photo.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah. That's why like nowadays a lot of young young
girls and young boys even for because it happens to
men too. Males. You shoot a photo and like the
freaking buyo McDonald's or whatever, or like you know, it's
so easy nowadays, it's like that's where sextortion happens. Yeah,
trafficking is like like where then that's what happened to
(22:39):
me at fifteen. Where it's different, it's like more organized.
It's where, you know, in my opinion, is where you
have the the pamp, the trafficker or whatever, and there's
actual like setups. There's sessions, there's dates you're going out
with you know, your John's and stuff like that, and
there's motel meetups.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
So what's so, how how were you? How did this
all start for y'all?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
So for me, it happened with a lot of exploitation
in beginning read because I was asked to drugs. Right,
I would get super high and then like things would
happen right. And then at fifteen, I met this individual
that had this what he he framed it so beautifully,
but he was like, I have this escort service. I'm like,
you know what I mean. I'm like, oh wow, like
(23:22):
you know, it sounds pretty, yeah, my god, I have
all these pretty girls and d D D you know,
like and I'm fifteen. I'm just like being like wowed
by this individual, like wow, like you know, and this
girl he's only getting me high, He's he gave me
all the freaking dope I wanted, all the dope I wanted.
I'm just getting freaking lit.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
So he's building your trust.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yes, I have access to a for me. Honestly, when
I was growing, when I was going through all that stuff,
if I can kick it at a spot that had
a usable restroom, I'm gonna stay there too, as long
as I won, just because like using the restroom, just
like shinering or whatever, it was always such a big deal.
I didn't like to be out there all dirty and stuff.
I mean, somethings that would happen, but like I hated it, Like.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh my god, yeah that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, so as long as I had arestion for me's like,
I'm gonna do what I need to do to just
you know, kick it whatever, even if it's just talking
to these people playing it around. Because I started learning,
I'm like, if I just finessed the situation as much
as like I didn't like having doing things with people sometimes,
like I you know, I still felt very young, and
I felt very vulnerable at times, and I knew but
I just knew I had this drug habit that I
(24:29):
just freaking wanted to get high. And so uh So, anyways,
like he started talking about this escort service after maybe
like a week after we hear he's like.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
This grown adult, Yeah, grown ad and how does he
find you?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
So I met him when I was kicking in the
hood and then a homie from a homie from a
homie from a homie. I met him, and then my
mistake was like leaving my hood to go somewhere else.
It was an Irvine. So he had this nice apartment.
It wasn't furnished. I think that was also a red flag.
Wasn't furnished, furnished, just his bedroom and a few other rooms.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
So this guy's got you come into his apartment and
it's unfurnished and in his bedroom and he's an adults. Yeah,
how old do you think? Like I think he was
like thirty five at the time, and you're fifteen. I'm fifteen, okay,
And then it goes to another level.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Yeah. So one time we had gone out, he's like, hey,
come with me. I need to go pick up like
I think some are dope or whatever. He had to
go pick up like big blocks of it or whatever.
We were in a motel room picking up his stuff,
like a really rundown one. And he gets his calm
and he hangs up and he just looks at me
(25:37):
and my heart kind of dropped. I'm like, what the
fuck happened? Like, am I just gonna I might head?
I'm thinking, ah, this was gonna tell me that I
got to go home or some shit like you know,
And he's like, hey, marked the if you guys don't
know my name. But he's like hey, uh uh what
how down are you to make some money? And I'm like, well,
I'm like I'm gonna be down to make money. He's
(25:59):
like are you sure. It's like yeah, yeah, I'm down.
Like what happened or what It's like? It's like, is
this this individual just calm? And he said he wants
to he wants to meet up with the with the
young girl. It has to be young though, you're young, right,
and like just just have this conversation. Like I'm like, yeah, dude,
you know I'm fifteen, like trying to play it up,
like the fuck you know this like obviously yeah, like
what's up? Like but he makes a landa you're not down,
(26:19):
Like you're not doing that like back and forth like nah,
I'm never mind, ner mind. I'm like I'm like, bro,
what's up? Like I got you what's up?
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Like he's manipulating you into thinking that you now want.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
To yeah, exactly. So I'm like, don't do it, like
what like tell me, tell me, like you know, like
you've been in my hand thing, and this one has
been taking care of me, like he's been by me.
What I need, I feel obligated to say yes, no
matter whether it is. Yeah. So I'm thinking I have
to go and rob somebody. I'm like, let's just fucking
do it, Like where's my gun, where's my ship, you know,
and let's go. He's like, look, I'm gonna set you
(26:49):
up in this room and like just you know, like
you don't got to do nothing, Like that's what he
told me the first time. You don't got to do nothing.
Just go and go in here, and he's gonna place
the money down, and you know, he's going places like
you know, like I think he's had like six hundred
bucks or whatever, Like he's gonna place it down. All
you gotta do is just just finesse it and and
just we're now with the money. I'm like, all right.
(27:11):
It was like some Asian guys that I remember. I
remember the whole detail to this day.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
A room in this guy's apartment.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
No no, no, So there's a different hotel. You got to
go somewhere else in Irvine. And so I go in.
I'm like, yeah, fucking let's do it. So I'm like
you're sure, you're know, wait for me, because I'm like,
I don't want to have sex with no stranger, Like
that's fucking weird, like the hell, But I'm like, I
want to do this for you because we need the money,
you know, like you've been helping me out. Fuck yeah,
He's like we'll get high afterwards and all this whatever,
(27:38):
you know. I'm like I'm like, fuck yeah, it's a win.
And so I did that. I went inside to this room,
met this you know Asian. We're looking guy kind of
you know, just kind of like isolated or whatever, and
like you just feel like he seemed like an antisocial
person for sure. So I go in and I'm super late.
(28:00):
I'm like, hey, I'm fucking being awkward to myself. I'm like,
i I'm like, ad you initiate this, right? So he's
an adult, he's an adult, but I seen that he
put the money down, just kind of like wasting time.
I was like washing my hands. I'm like well I
got it freshen up or whatever, and you know, put
some money down and I go over and you know,
(28:20):
like he's just kind of like, you know, filling up
on me and stuff like that, and I'm like, oh cool,
Like this is I think where I'm like I kind
of froze a little bit. That's where I'm just like
like everything kind of hit back. I'm like, what the
fuck am I doing? Like what am I doing? Like
what am I honestly doing? He starts like fondeling your
pay yeah, yeah, yeah, like stuff like that, just like
under my my sweatshir or whatever, and.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
And you're just standing there just shopping.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
There, like and I remember him just saying, you don't
have to do anything just right now. So I remember that.
I remember him saying that. So I'm like, all right, cool,
So like now what's my next? So how am I
going to get out of this? How am I going
to get out of this? So then I'm like, oh,
I got to wash my hands again. So the for
some reason, the sink was right next to the exit,
like the door. So then I grabbed the money and
I did I freaking run as fast as I can,
(29:03):
and uh, the guy the guy didn't. No, he didn't
run after me. I think he also knew that what
he was doing is incorrect. But I really thought I
was doing something in correct by taking this money. I
didn't think I was like a victim. I didn't think
I was like somebody that was being put in a
vulnerable situation. I just thought I'm stealing his money, like
I'm going to get in trouble, you know. So and
(29:26):
you run, Yeah, And the guy was waiting right there
for me. And then I got in the car and
we left, and I remember getting in the car with
him and like I gave him the money. He's like,
you're a good girl, so he told me.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I remember that shit and fucking disgusting.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, And I just remember after that, I got super
high that day, So I think I kept being on
the bench.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
You passed test one pest, yeah, test.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
One for sure with that as Yeah, and then after
that the money just became easy. But also my drug
edition became heavier because of the fact of knowing like
what I was doing and how wrong it was that
there was it turned into actual sex. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Okay, yeah, so you were you were groomed and manipulated
into doing this again. But then engaging and.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, and you know, looking back, I think just with
just men in general, I think I've always wanted to
please them in a sense because I never had a
father figure or never. And I know that's a cliche.
We all say that, like, you know, a lot of
women say that, like, but it's so true. Like I
never had that, like like a positive role model that
was able to like really like guide me or support
and be like this is what a man should like
(30:36):
behave like or what a woman should do in order
to gain their trust or their respect or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I just you know, course you had no role model.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
So then that happened for my trafficking that that's that
stuff happened. It didn't last too long ago, I'm being
honest with you. It lasted for about a year. But
it was a lot of stuff that happened within that year.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
And like how like how many individuals.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
That I encountered? Fuck how not all of them were
like that? I did, like actually like full on stuff
with some of them. I I would run out with money,
But like within that timeframe, like maybe like one hundred
people like that I'd encountered, and either it was like
just a stick up job or it was something else.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
And how are these people getting ahold of your pimp?
Speaker 2 (31:25):
It was like how it was, Uh, it's so organized,
it's so easy. It's so easy, like to just have
like like again, it's the phones, the burners, you know,
the burner phones and stuff like.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
That, like word of mouth.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
They know, yeah, like you know there's word of mouth.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
So what like what was rock bottom?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Rock bottom? Damn? Rock Bottom was just I.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Mean, I assume there's a there's a lot, but what
was like the final one where you were like I'm out?
Speaker 2 (31:53):
I think the addiction, but also the school thing because
I was still minor, so they were calling NonStop like
where the hell is this child and why she's not
in school? And I was still in probation. So I
guess just realizing like damn, like what am I doing?
Because I always wanted to go to school. I loved school.
I love school. I honestly I was such a nerd,
Like I really liked school. I just didn't know how
to focus, but I loved learning and I didn't know
(32:16):
how to show that knowing I had all these labels
and all these identities. Like so after I left, what
we call like you know, trafficking and all that we
call it the life. When I left the life or ye,
you know that stuff, I'm like, okay, how did you
leave the I just left. So like a lot of
a lot of a lot of times, you know pims,
some pims or exploiters. I feel like my guy was
more of an explorer than a pimp. Like he was
(32:36):
with it, but he was also like I know it
sounds so stupid, but he was also he was kind.
I know it sounds so dying.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I mean, but that's the right.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah, he wasn't like when I put hands on me,
he never like told me like mark, like but maybe
he called me foolish, like he didn't like my name,
but like like foolish, like you don't have to stay,
you don't want to, like when you're done, like you
you're done, Like you know, we're making money. But I
fool was always high too, so the drugs would get
to him. So he wasn't only straight minded too. So
I'll come up on money too, and I'll keep my
money to myself as well. Or like I say I
(33:08):
have made seven hundred, I'll give him like four hundred
or five hundred or whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Oh my god, that's a horrible cut, I know. But
did you wear like a fur jacket and a hat?
Speaker 2 (33:17):
No, No, I know, that's a ci you didn't wear.
He was a He looked like a bomb, to be
honest with you, just a white tea and like he
always just looks precked out.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
And I got approached by pimp once in San Francisco,
and he had a fur coat on and like a
really big hat, and he said, hey, bitch, do you
want some work? And I said, no, I got a job.
And he said, but you look like fucking superwoman. People
will pay a lot for you. And I was like, oh,
thank you so much. That's so sweet, but I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
I was terrified. Yeah, yeah, we're going to take a
quick break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Wait, tell me this. Tell me the moment you found
out you were pregnant.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
The moment I found out I was three months preg
I went three months in. I was still smoking dope,
and I remember one time I was kicking it in
the hood and I'm almost smoking a blunt and drinking
and I just freaking passed out, I guess. And my
homie a good homie. I still talk to him to
this day he had he had picked me up and
he took me home. He's like, hey, dude, like, what
(34:20):
the fuck happened to you? Man? You're twitching and shit.
I'm like, well, I don't know, bro, whatp Like, I
don't know what happens. Like He's like, I don't know
if I think you need to kick back, and I'm
like all right, you know. So I'm like, I was
like stressed out and I took a pregnancy test like
the next day, I'm like, oh shit, I'm pregnant, and
I just everything, like the whole like reality of like
what I was doing was just hit me because I
(34:40):
was like, first I didn't want to stop. Yeah, I
didn't want to stop. And and then I'm like should
I have to stop? I had I had previously, like
you know, some abortions that I did when I was
younger because things were happening, you know, obviously things were
happening and night and I wasn't ready. So now that
(35:02):
it's like with this with this parents, I'm like I
have to, Like, you know, I had been talking to God.
On'm like, please Lord, just send me something. The moments
where I was really coming down, like please Lord, I'm
not I'm not trying to do this no more like
send me something that can help me to get out
this fucking.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Life, so you want it.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I wanted to get out as well, but there's moments
where I didn't, like especially with the drug addition. I
wanted to get out the life of like kicking it
and doing all that stuff, but I still wanted to
do drugs. And then there's moments where I just didn't
want it all, and then I was suicidal, and I've
you know, you know, suicide was always something that was
like lurking and like I'll be when you're coming down
hard off drugs. I mean, anybody that has ever done
(35:42):
hardcore drugs, like we've thought about taking our life out,
and so.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Did you ever try and take your life?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yes, but like it was like super like dramatic and
just like it wasn't gonna work because again, you're just
you're just coming down, you don't know what, like you're
going through a hard mental like it's like psychological fucking
your head that you're just you're just like you just
want it to end, but you also just wanted you
just need to get high again probably or just let it.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's what keeps you doing exactly?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
So I mean yeah, like with pills or like trying
to cut myself or whatever. But obviously that that never,
you know, lasted long because then I'll just like snap back.
I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? I just
need to get high.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Oh the cycle, yeah, a brutal fucking cycle. Yeah, so
it was just like damn.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Like I remember one time I would have I was
really trying to quit and I had, you know, packed
my pipe my beause to smoke math. You just you
have to have a pipe of glass pipe or whatever.
I'd packed it and I'm like, funk, what am I doing?
So then I got mad and I smashed it and
I went to go dig it outside in the yard.
So like I did that. But one time I dug
(36:47):
my whole pipe just like fully like loaded and shit,
and I dug it outside the yard, thinking like I'm
not gonna do it if I dig it up, I mean,
if I if I dig it and leave it there.
But no, two hours there, I went in the backyard
d like a freaking fiene and shit. And it's funny
to me now, but like the things that it causes
you to do, but you're just you're not okay in
(37:08):
your head, You're really not well.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
And I appreciate you explaining it, because I don't think
people don't understand it unless I've done it. Addiction is
such as such a people get blamed for addiction.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
No, I mean you know what, Like even when I
got sober, I'm like thinking, like why can't these people
stop or whatever, like like I'm thirty years old old.
Now I'm thirty years old, and I tell people like
I'm still in recovery because like there's moments where I'm
just I just really want to fucking get high. To
be honest, I can imagine, and because I did it
for so long. But I have my son, I have
(37:43):
my family, I have my career, I have this mentorship
that I'm doing doing with students. I don't want to
see what's.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Day to day Like now it's very nice, it's very
not I.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Get to do stuff like this, you know. And obviously
I'm a mom. I take my son to school, will
pick him up.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
How old is he?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
He's nine, going to be ten in December. But I
always tell my son, like, hey, like you're you're the
reason why I stopped a lot of things. You know, like,
and I think he gets it, but he doesn't. You know,
he's asking more questions now about my life and what
I did and whatever. And I'm honest with him, like,
you know, yeah, your mom was a gangster at one
point or a game member or whatever. Because he sees
(38:25):
photos or whatever that I have and I'm not trying
to lie to him.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
I think it's a reasonable age to explain it. I mean,
my seven year old I would explain it. We had
a full talk about the death penalty the other day,
like what's electricution and the firing?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Ye, my son's very morbid, like he likes morbid morbidly
stuff like, and it's cool.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
You're like, oh, I got you. I can share some
stories with you.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
You just drew with the knife. Great, when are we doing?
You know?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
So I got But you can protect him, Yeah, yeah,
I mean you can protect him because you're so aware
of what so many parents are not aware about it.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
I don't look get it in the bad way. For me,
It's like, Okay, he's just an imagination. And at the
end of the day, you know the you know the
best people that sometimes creation things. Sometimes we have to
have a little bit of that, like horror and grewsome
stuff that just brings to you know, like it brings
a certain type of beauty to the world.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Right, Well, it's fucking reality exactly. So you get You've
got a master's in criminology, which is also fucking reality.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, what what's the master's cover?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
It covers, Well, basically the study of why people can
make crime. That's the main reason, and I've done I've
always wanted to study that because I always wanted to
know like why, Like when I was game banging and
we're on the streets and I was like, why the
fuck are we out here? Like why are we here?
Why are we committing crime? What caused us to be
here right now? And what's going to be the effect
(39:49):
of us because we're here right now?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
So you were wondering that while it was happening.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
When I was drinking for you and I was writing
down in my journals, and I have actual moments where
I'm like, why are we here? Why are we doing this?
Why are we you know, And I'm just looking around
just like I'm like, damn, like we're just we're just
killing rasa like meaning like we're just killing ourselves, our
own people, and we're hurting our communities and we're just.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
So, what's the answer, Like, why why do gangs exist?
Speaker 2 (40:19):
I think it's because there's such a dysfunction at home
and basic needs are not being met by the adults
that need to be protecting the children. And if those
basic needs are not being mad whatever it can be.
It can be psychological, could be loved, it can be food,
it can be clothing, it can be any of those things.
Or it can be you know, abuse and neglect that
(40:39):
they're being that they're having to endure, maybe not you know, directly,
but in directly by domestic violence within the home, stuff
like that, and that causes a lot of instability in
a child. And then they seek out the gang, Yeah,
or a need. They're going to find a need. They're
going to find something that meets that need that they're craving.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
And then again is for money.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
The gang can be for anything, for commarity, like you
can be for brotherhood or like friendship, for a sense
of belonging, for a sense of like, hey, you have
a fucked up life. I have a fucked up life.
They's all have a fucked up life, you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Did you have to like like trademark your gang name
and start a website or how do you know that
no one else is going to take it and like
make merch out of us.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Funny, Well, you have to ask around.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
I mean you would know, like a gang member, I
have a lawyer.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Right, we should we should have that type of sassy
you know mark that you kind of have that name
belongs to somebody. I was like, you got a trademark.
I know, I got a trademarket.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Okay, So we come full circle and we're sitting in
Orange County after this life that you've.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Lived, Definitely, I think another full circle one for me
was when so I had the opportunity to speak and
all that stuff, but then I got connected back with
my district where at one point I got expelled from.
So this year I was able to get finally received
my eighth grade promotion certificate, and I was able to
shake all the hands of like the eighth graders and
(42:05):
close out that circle. Because I got to expelled, I
didn't get to graduate from eighth grade. So you know,
there's a whole little article and all that stuff, and
I was able to get, you know, my eighth grade certificate.
Say a little speech about it, and you know, it
made me feel really good that my district took me
back and they're now they're the ones investing in me,
and they're you know, that's how I have this mentorship business,
(42:27):
have a grant with them, which is called full Circle.
Orange County is brilliant. It's like my full circle moment. Yeah,
full circle all the way around. And I get to
you know, mentor you know, students that are kids of
my home weans doing time in the penitentiary right now.
So it's like if I can help break that cycle
with them, like we break it right.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
I am so grateful that you came here to talk
with me, and you are such an asset to think
this world and to this community, and I'm so excited
for where you're going to go with us.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I'm excited too.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I'm so excited for the lives that you're changing with
your story. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
One day at a time, one day. I don't always
see it like that, but when I get that you know,
handshake from my students or from just anybody like I like,
I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Them like anytime, man, I appreciate you. And I'm sure
hundreds of thousands of people do and you just don't know.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh, thank you?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, come talk to me anytime.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I'm most definitely you're a very interesting person. Yourself and
your space is incredible and it's right up my alleys,
the girly and also like thuggish.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Right, so for everyone listening, like we're sitting on a
gray couch, but behind me is a hot, pink kitchen,
and then behind Martha is a prison cell. Yeah yeah,
with blood splatter all over the wall, and we're serial killers,
like all over the place serial killers and coasters. But
it's tell adobe like it's a good it's very very
(44:01):
normal for our conversation. I think, Yeah, I definitely definitely,
I think so too.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, I'm really grateful that you came. Thank you for
watching another episode of Intentionally Disturbing. And I'm really happy
that you got to meet Martha because I have to say,
and I don't want to sound biased, but I think
she's like my favorite person ever, the best interviewer. She's
so articulate, she's been through hell and back, and she's
(44:27):
changing the world one kid at a time, one day
at a time, and we need more people like Martha
pushing these movements forward, so thank you again and stay tuned.
I'll see you the next time.
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