Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco EXCLUSIVE: Their Love Story Like You’ve Never Heard Before

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, It's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce
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(00:25):
spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to
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meet and greet with photos.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Tickets are on sale now.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Head to Jaysheddy dop me Forward Slash Tour and get
yours today. Don't want to go back to the first
time you ever met.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Thank you so much for one of the grespects you Awena,
we're watching did here.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
When you're a pop star like she is, in your
huge entity and people set up all these walls before
and then the first second you like disarmed everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
By the way, Congratulations on your engagement.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
When you first were meeting and recording together, there was
a sense of you we protecting yourself. What gave you
confidence to hope or not.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
What I feel for Benny. It was everything about him
was honest. He'll tell me anything that he's feeling, and
it made me feel like I could do the same.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
If we would have met each other when we were younger,
it would have never worked. We've both grown as individuals
and met at the perfect time, and I believe life.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Is like that.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
When Benny looks at me, I don't think he sees
anything but who I am, and that's very rare to find.
But when you do, know, it feels right.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
You talk about being best friend so much? Was it
scary thinking what are we going to lose if this
gets romantic?

Speaker 4 (02:03):
The Number one health and Wellness podcast, shed Ja Sheddy
one only.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to be here.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
You know, I love you both. I know we love
being such a fun like coming together when this when
you guys called me and said you wanted to do this,
I was just like, how special is it that we
first met now seven years ago, and then because of you,
I got to meet this amazing man and I feel
like we've kicked off of romance and yeah, and because

(02:36):
of you, I just feel like we've been spending so
much time together, and so I'm so grateful to you
both for trusting me and over the years and the
fact that you've been on, you've been on and now
we get both of you.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
It's like, thank you.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's so special.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
It's a very safe, cozy place.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
Benny and Selena, welcome back to on Purpose for the
first time together. I am so grateful to you both.
It's been a joy getting to know you both over
the last few years, and I am so happy for
you both. Thank you. This is just so beautiful and special.
And because of you, Selena, I got to know Benny
so much more. And Benny and I've been hanging out,

(03:11):
we've been meditating, we've been.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
I love that makes you really happy.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
But it's thanks to you. It's thanks to you for
bringing us together. And I was just saying, as a man,
it's so hard to make male friendships as you get
OLDA I.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Really is that.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
So it's just like when you're an adult, it's like
I have my people, and it's like, well, I have
to let a new person in. Like you barely have
time for your people that you have, so you're like wait,
in order to get a new person, I have to
like move another person down the list to slot a
new person in whoa, because because there's not you know,
you start to get to an age. It's like Larry

(03:47):
David always says this. He says, I have friends that
I'm not even friends with. I've just been friends with
them for so long. I can't let them go because
they're already built in. It's like a therapist. They already
know everything you can't teach a new person.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
He disagrees.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
That's not necessarily that I disagree. I guess I just
always thought that guys have this immediate like what's up,
and then they're just like in a flow. So I just,
I don't know, I found that interesting.

Speaker 4 (04:11):
Yeah, I feel like you get guarded as you get
older a little bit. Sometimes I wish I weren't as wise,
because when I'm not wise at all. But I'm saying
it's like when you listen to something like, for me,
for music, I listened to things when I was like eighteen,
and I was like, oh my god, I didn't know
any of the rules. I wasn't thinking of anything. It
all comes so easily because you're not confined to like

(04:32):
this box that you've put yourself in over the years
and then by the end you're like, oh, you know,
I'm thirty six, almost thirty seven.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
I'm like, oh, I can't do that.

Speaker 4 (04:41):
And it's like there is some sort of freedom to
being really young too.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
There definitely is. There, definitely is. But I was saying
that watching both your love story, and I know you
were saying silly in two seconds ago, You're like, this
is such a safe and cozy space to come to.
I'm hoping that today we get to know your love
story on a deeper level and we get to access
really what's in your hearts and minds, because I think
there's so many interviews and so many things that kind

(05:07):
of will touch on the surface level of stuff, but
I hope we can go deeper. So what I want
to start with is I want to actually rewind, and
I want to rewind to a place where we don't
retell the story, but we get to relive your story
with you. And I think there's a difference because when
we tell a story, it's like, this is what happened,
but when we relive it, it's almost like going back
to who we were when that happens. So I want

(05:27):
to go back to the first time you ever met,
and I want to hear about it.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Well, the funny thing is is we actually it was
so long ago that we don't.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Remind we know that her mother put us in a
meeting together.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
When how old were you six? So she was sixteen.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Oh, I didn't realize it was that.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
And I'm like four or five years older than you.
So I was probably twenty twenty one. And her mom
was trying together into music. And her mom is amazing
the way she goes from room to room on the show, Yeah,
gets things to happen, and you know, and somehow she
got us a meeting together, and we don't remember that.

(06:11):
And you know, after we had done songs together, there
was one time where it was probably two thousand and
sixteen or seventeen or something. I remember when you were
in a studio like Interscope, Susan, and I remember I
came in. She doesn't remember it, but I remember I
came in and I had this talk with you, and

(06:34):
I remember being like whoa, wow, Like she is really
like a complex person, like in a good way, and
I was like, wow, she's she's she's so deep. And
we had this conversation where I really I was just
really left by being like, oh, she's deep. And then
we went and thought nothing more of it. And then

(06:55):
when we did our song together, I remember leaving not
feeling roman antic at all. I just remember leaving and
I was talking, you know, because when you're a pop
star like she is, and you're a huge entity and
and and you've done so many things in your life before,
like people set up all these walls before, so it's

(07:16):
like you get like, like before I came in, they
were like, well, you know, this thing's like this, and
this is like this, and like she might not want
to do that, and like stuff, and they speak for
people so much. And then I remember we were so
me and the director were so nervous, and then the
first second you like disarmed everybody. And I remember walking
back and Jake was like, he's like the guy who

(07:38):
directing with me.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
He's like, it's gonna be so easy.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
What they made it seem like she was this is
gonna be this crazy thing, and the warmth I felt
from her in that moment, I remember leaving being like.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Lastly, it's such a cool girl, she remembers.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
I remember the video part, but it was interesting because yes,
I don't have a very good but uh, I just
remember the video shoot. I didn't see anything romantic or
really felt that. But I had a really good time.
And that was probably the first time after years of
doing music together and not together, that was the first

(08:16):
time I really got to hang out with him and
it was fun. I had a good time, and that
was that. And then how it kind of continued was
I was always cautious because I always wanted to make
sure that I did protect myself, so to be honest,
I didn't talk to him very often.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I thought she hated it.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Really really, I knew that was going.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
I really did.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
I thought she didn't like. I would see her and
I'd be like, does she not like me? Like, and
like we weren't thinking about anything. I was like, wow,
she really like didn't talk to me. And I was
like I thought it was being nice, and like my
friends would be like no, no, And then like there
was another time I remember and my friends were like, oh, yes,
it's kind of weird, and I was so far and
there was like a few times and and I didn't

(09:01):
know and I was just like, you know, I was like,
that's okay.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
I thought I was being like polite by not.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
She didn't really engage.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Basically, we I was working on some music and we
we went through some of the demos that we had
in single soon came up, which is ironic because it
was actually nowhere near where I was in my personal life.
But Benny happened to do the song.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
No, I didn't even do this song.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
It was like one of my guys, yes, and I
like came to help out because I was like, oh,
I want their song to I was like, I don't
like the way this proctor. Let me just at least
help them, I said. I was like, well, I'm not
sure if it'll be okay because I don't know if
Selina likes me or something. And then John Jannick, the
you know, the president of Interscope, He was like, well,

(09:53):
why don't you just go into the session. She usually
doesn't have people in, but just go in and like
if there is some something that you feel is weird,
like try to just smooth it over and talk to
her and get in. And I said, okay, I'm going
to go smooth it over. So I went in. It
was so funny. Right before I came, her engineer told
me like later that she was like, oh, Benny's coming, and.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
She was like, and here's her reasoning. I'm going to
defend myself. I get very nervous around the producers watching me, saying,
of course, it's just a very intimate thing for me.
I feel like I need to sound a certain way
or do whatever to make them happy. And when I
get to record it just me and my engineer and

(10:34):
maybe someone I trust, I get more out of the experience.
So I just was thinking, Okay, well, maybe he'll stay
for ten minutes and we'll just talk for a second.
And ten minutes turned into like thirty. Then he went
to the other room and I finished recording, and he
stayed there and then yeah, this is too long.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
Okay, so here. So from my perspective, here's what happened.
I get in there and I'm like, I gotta smooth this.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I love yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
I was like, I don't have this with anyone, Like
I was like, I want us to be chill. And
obviously ninety nine percent of it was in my head.
And I come in. We just start talking about life,
and her A and R is there, one of my
friends is there. We're just we're talking about life, and
we start talking about dating, and I was like, yeah,
you know, I went out on this date blah blah blah.

(11:25):
And then I was talking to her and I said,
oh my god, I have so many good single guy friends.
I was like, we have dinners at the house all
the time. You should come over sometime. And I wasn't
even thinking about anything, and We're like talking about like
our ideal date and like this and that. I wanted
to make sure she did the line right, so I
was like, oh, I'll stay there to like make sure

(11:46):
it's good after and then so I did. We left,
and then yeah, I didn't have her cell phone number
because she changed her number a bunch, so like I
like asked someone, I said, hey, give me your cel
phone number. I want to say like you know thing
and I wrote. I was like, oh my god, you
were And during that I when I was with her.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
I was like, oh my god.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
I was like, not only she's like really cool, I
was like I want I was like I want to
be like I was like, I want her to be
like in our friend group, and what couldn't even be thinking.
I was like, I want her to be in our
friend group, and I want to make sure this thing
smoothed out, so the song figures out, goes well and everything.
So I said, let me just text her thank you
or whatever. And I was like, you know, you were
so sweet or something something like that, and then she

(12:30):
writes back, I guess we just were texting throughout the
day and she she told me she looked back at
our message. She said, somehow you started sending like selfies
where you looked really bad on perfect, like the worst one.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yes, which by the way, no girls should really or
anyone in their mind right mind to someone they would
have a crush on.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Do that.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
But we were talking about ugly photos, like because I
always say I take the worst photos sometimes and he's like, oh,
you said something, and I sent him the worst pictures
of me, like since like in bed sick and then
you know, me at weird photo shoot. Said now, looking

(13:14):
back on it, I'm I'm just thinking that's these are
so weird. I don't know why or not yet.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
Yeah, oh you did, okay, so that's I had no idea.
So I had no idea, and somehow we decide so wait.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Why did you do that? If you liked Benny, why
would you send him?

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Well, because I didn't know that it was going to
be like maybe I thought it was just going to
be flirting and not really anything else, but I really
started to to just, I don't know, fall for us.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
So I didn't know any of this now. And then
we decide we're like we're I forget how it happens.
We're like, yeah, let's hang out. And I was like, oh,
my friend's having a birthday party tomorrow. I was like,
you just just come along, and I was like just
thinking friend stuff. And then so she comes to mine,
and I guess she thought the party was going to
be at my house, but I was like, oh, in

(14:06):
my head, I was like, oh, she'll just come over
and we can just like grab a drink first and
then go there, like like, not thinking anything of it.
I was like, we'll just like grab a drink at
my friend's wine bar, it's on the.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Way, and then we'll go there.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
You were there and we were sitting together and she
said something like, well, you know, because it's a date,
I wore blah blah, and I was like I.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Was like no, I said, if this was a date,
I definitely would have dressed like a nicer and he
just kind of looked at me and I thought we
were on a date.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
And I was like, we're on a date.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
And then and then we went and then we didn't
really talk about it.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Who thought it was She thought it was She thought it.

Speaker 4 (14:46):
Was a date.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
I'm sorry, A nice man takes me out for a
drink crevistare mag it's a date.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
I didn't know, but no one had lost each other
out yet.

Speaker 4 (14:53):
No, it was like, let's just hang out, like and
then we go to my friends, we go to this
Thai restaurant, we go to jit Lada and we're like
hanging now and there's a bunch of people there and
then she all of a sudden like leaves, and she
was like, I got to go to I have a video.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Shoot really early in the morning.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
And I was like okay, and I was like, but
I wasn't like because it wasn't a date to me
or anything. So I was like, okay, cool, and I
stayed with my friends and stuff. And then she texts
me after and I remember you being like, that was
like one of the most fun times I've had in
a really long time, Selina.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
So you technically asked Benny out on the first official
day she did. She did like us through it woke
us through that confidence that that energy began.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Wasn't in any confidence. That's the scary part. I think
that's when I recognized that I had some sort of
feelings for him. Walking to his house or into his
home to go to his friend's thing, I was very nervous,
and I'm not normally like that unless it's like an

(15:51):
event or something where it could be overwhelming. Oh with
anyone I talked to. I'm able to talk to people,
and I feel like I'm good at it. But I
just felt like all these feelings. And then when we
went out, I was laughing and I didn't feel like
you wanted anything or there was weird motives. It's it's

(16:15):
sad that you know people have to think that way,
but I don't know. I felt this immediate safety, and
I was very pleased that I don't know, we were friends,
and then I came.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
The next time we hung out, it was it was
we just hung out at home and we just like
we're chilling, and we were playing that game We're not
really strangers Great, And my friend made that game and
we were just playing it and we both played it,
and I was like, Okay, sure, we can play it.
And we played it and there was like a card
that said, like take a selfie together, and we like

(16:54):
took us out.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
She like screwed up.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
We took a selfie and then right after the selfie
we just kissed and then know that's it and she's
very private and then and then basically the rest was history.
And we started hanging out so much, and it just
like very quickly, I was like, oh my god, my
whole life.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
I was like, oh, this is.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
This is my person, Like I'm going to marry this person.
This is oh, this is the thing, this is what
it feels like. It was so different than any of
those feelings, and I was like, holy shit, I just
I met my best friend. This is my best friend.
Nothing gets any better than this. It can't get better.
There's no this is my This is like better than
any friend I have that's a guy and I get

(17:39):
to kiss them like it was like it was insane
to me.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
So I was like I can't let this go.

Speaker 4 (17:43):
I got And it was so funny because before I
met her, I with my therapist, I had made a
list saying like these are all the things I want.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
I'm telling you you want to know it. Okay.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
So before I met her, you know, I was a
guy and in La trying to find the one for me,
and I was having some trouble and I and and
and I think I was like maybe not looking in
all the right places. And I was like, okay, it's
time to be a grown up. Like I want to

(18:18):
like start a life. I want to have a family.
I want to find a person that like is my
other half, that makes me feel better and I make
them feel better, and it's it's a give and take.
It's the perfect yin and yang. So I wrote down
the list and the first thing on my list was
age appropriate. Okay, so that was and it was thirty

(18:40):
plus okay, so that was number one on my list. Yes,
not number one, but it was the first thing I wrote.
And then the second thing I wrote was I said,
I know these are so simple, but it's so hard
to come by somebody who's kind, compassionate and caring. I
was like, that's really three in one, but that was
my But I was like, I need someone who's like nice,

(19:00):
and is it like a genuine nice person?

Speaker 1 (19:02):
You said something really important. The reason I'm bringing it
up is because I feel a lot of women, but
a lot of people feel this way. And you said
when you first were meeting and recording together, there was
a sense of you were protecting yourself. Yes, And I
think that's a very human thing, and I think it's
a very normal thing, especially in this day and age,
especially in your position. To add to it, what was

(19:24):
it that you know at one point you said, I'm
going to adopt at thirty five if I don't find
someone like you had your whole life mapped out when
you met Benny. But then and you said you were
protecting yourself, but then you start to open up. Could
you walk us through what gave you confidence to open up?
But what that feels like when you're trying to protect yourself,
because I think that's the push and pull that everyone's

(19:45):
going through.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
Well, I think, first of all, making plans and trying
to stick to them is silly because you don't know
what's going to happen. And I can't believe that I
get to marry my best friend. So but yes, I
think for me, I was genuinely set, But it was

(20:06):
once I let go of me just saying I want
someone and I wish I had this, and I wish
I had that. Instead, I changed my mind to I'm
so lucky that I get to wake up and my
family is healthy, and I love spending time with my friends,
and you know what if it doesn't happen, I know
that I've always wanted to be a mom, and you know,

(20:28):
so of course I kind of planned that out. I
think it was because when Benny looks at me, I
don't think he he sees anything but who I am,
and that's very rare to find. He knows when I'm
feeling a certain way and kind of before I can

(20:50):
even let it get to a place where it's unbearable,
he has already talked to me through a spiral protecting
myself on multiple reasons, you know, doing you know, doing music,
working with someone that's kind of you know, like, oh,
I don't know if I should do that, but I

(21:11):
genuinely just watch it just happened. I think when you know,
and oh, that's so cheesy to say, but when you
do know, it feels right. And I think that that's
what happened to me, and I just felt very comfortable
with him.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, Denny, how do you feel that you almost sabotaged
your relationship by nearly introducing Selena to your friends. How
does that feel like when you're like, hey, wait a minute,
come and meet my friends. There might be some nice
guys for you.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
To me, I feel like it all happens for a reason.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
I feel like maybe me doing that is what disarmed
her enough to like, you know, it's we talked about
this before, like if we would have met each.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Other when we were younger, it would have never worked.

Speaker 4 (21:50):
It's like we've both grown as individuals and met at
the perfect time.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
And I believe life is like that.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
And sometimes it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's not
the right reasons, and we're like, why is this happening?
But I always believe that I you know, I don't know.
I believe in fate. I believe in all that, and
I believe, you know, if you're good to people karmically,
it's going to come back to you ten times over.
Maybe you might get in that moment someone's going to

(22:19):
do you really dirty, but over a long period of time,
I think things are going to go your way.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Was it scary because you you talk about being best
friends so much? Was it scary thinking what are we
going to lose if this gets romantic as friends.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Nor happened right away. This was all one day.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
That was one day, Like everything really happened within and
then look there was once we knew that we liked
each other, there's that part where, like, you know, we're
both extremely busy people. So it's like it takes a
second to where you fully prioritize, you know, because it's
like at first you date someone, you say, okay, i'll

(22:58):
see you this time once a week, and then it's like, okay.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
This person's getting cool. We'll go twice and it's like, wait,
don't leave my house. I miss you. Like it all
happens so quickly.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
One thing that you both did was you had a
long distance relationship for a while, Like you were in
different states and managing that you both have crazy work schedules,
and I was thinking, in your positions, it can get
very easy to be like all that person's never available,
they canceled again, like or they've got a million things
they're running away. I mean, you were just about to
say you both are starting to travel together right now

(23:29):
for work as well, But how did you manage that?
Because I think a lot of our viewers are like,
do long distance relationships work, and do two busy people
relationships work? How would you both say you've managed both
of those parts.

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Biggest thing in the world is trust. I can say
with all my heart that I trust this person. So
for me, knowing that I have a twelve to fourteen
hour day on set, I won't get to talk to
on a very second, which I don't need, but I
know just hearing from him one time check in with

(24:04):
me and say I love you and I hope the
day is going well. I just feel safe and I've
never felt that before. And if you feel like you're
in a situation that doesn't feel like you're a unit,
that makes it scarier and then that causes friction than
it causes trust issues. So for me, I would have

(24:26):
to say communication and trust helps, but it doesn't always work.
It's hard.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
I feel like.

Speaker 4 (24:34):
At the beginning, there were a few almost almost sabotages
she didn't like. She was like, that's fair. At the
very beginning, in like her first few trips away, she
was still gaining that trust. So there was there were
moments of sincere doo, no, yeah, yeah, we all have
that's no, we all have moments in our life because

(24:56):
like we're only made up.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
I tell everyone this.

Speaker 4 (25:00):
It's like when you when you start dating someone, you're
not only dating them, you're dating every single person they've
ever dated, every single relationship they've ever had in their past,
every because you're getting every piece of baggage that that
person's carried in that what they've learned through their own
personal life, through the life with partners, with their parents,
with this, that, And I had to find a way

(25:23):
to build that trust with her, not make it feel overbearing,
and make it feel real and make her actually believe
it and vice versa, Like I know that she fully tried.
If I say, hey, I'm just going to do this today,
there's nowhere in her mind that's thinking that. And if
for any chance that she I always told her, I said,

(25:44):
it's okay.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
If you have.

Speaker 4 (25:45):
Moments of doubt in something and a feeling, always talk
to me and I'll talk you through anything that you
may have. You know, if you say, hey, I know
this is a crazy thing. I just had a dream
and I woke up from this dream and I was upset.
Sometimes she'll just say like, please tell me I can
trust you, or please tell me you're not doing anything
stupid and I say, you can call me anytime you want.

(26:08):
And I'm aware of her strengths and I'm aware of
her weaknesses, and what I try to do is surround
her with a lot of things to help her. So
if she's away and I have to go to a dinner,
then a party, then this thing, then that thing, it's
a simple text in between each things. It says, hey, babe,

(26:31):
I'm going to this next thing. I'm thinking about you.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Hey.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
You know.

Speaker 4 (26:35):
You know where couples where it starts to hit is
when they miss that text.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
They don't call the person. They wait until the next day.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
Like it's just like, I know what she needs to succeed,
so I'm gonna help her succeed.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
I'm not going to be a dick. I'm not not
gonna hit her up.

Speaker 4 (26:53):
And she doesn't need a lot. She's like the easiest
person in the world. But I know, yeah, she wants
to talk to me before she goes to bed. She
wants me to say I love you. She wants me
to text her if I wind up having to stay
somewhere two hours late, just as simple, take out your.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Phone and blah blah blah bah bah done. And and
I know that no.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
I know that stuff really helps, especially when you're long distance,
because it's natural you're far away from someone. You say,
I'm not with this person, I'm not as connected to them.
We're not We're not meant to be far. You're not
supposed to be long distance with your partner. So to
be right next to your partner, like it's like, we
do things in life that we have to do, and

(27:36):
we both are very focused on our careers and we're
very driven, and you have to find a way to
make it work that's comfortable. You have to talk to
your partner. You have to understand them. I think people's
biggest problems, especially men, are that we don't listen all
the time. You got to listen. Just shut them up
and listen. Listen to what they're saying. A woman is

(27:57):
going to tell you exactly what she needs. Like when guys, look,
I don't know what you want, so I don't know
what she told you already, You're just an idiot. You're
not listening.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Just listen.

Speaker 4 (28:05):
A girl is If a girl is getting frustrated with
you on something, she's definitely told you multiple times and
you're just not paying attention. So it's like, just listen
and don't be reactionary, proactively do these things. I don't
know if you do the same thing, but when you're
away from your partner, you just try to think of
little things that's gonna make them feel more comfortable.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Better, you know.

Speaker 4 (28:25):
I'm I'm on the other hand, I'm like living on
the moon. So it's like she doesn't have to really
do anything for me because I'm like, I'm all in.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
On everything with her and.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
Fully trust her in every capacity and my whole life,
I've always been like this. I trust everyone until they
give me a reason not too okay, and I trust
people to be who they are okay, and so far
I know who she is, so until further notice, that's
how I'm gonna treat her.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
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Speaker 4 (30:30):
I remember there was a time we didn't want this
to be like a public thing, because unfortunately for Selena,
her life is always under the spial of being scrutinized
at every moment and this and that and for good
for bad. And I remember sitting with her, and we've
been seeing each other, you know, secretly for months and

(30:53):
months and months.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
And.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
We were about to go to New York and we
just made a conscious effort that we were like, we
don't want to do this anymore. We want to be
able to go out and have fun and like and
you know, just live our lives. And at that point
I knew that it was serious enough to dive in
like like that. I was like, Okay, I don't care

(31:16):
what comes with this, because I love this person so
much already that like we literally said I love you
on that trip.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
She had already said I love you to me a
few times. Okay, wait to the album, I said I
love you fast. Yes.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
So Selena, you said I love you fast.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
She said, what made you want to say that? Because
that's a big step by.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
I definitely have never been the first.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
So this is the first time in your life you
were the first.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
Yes. I wanted him to also know how committed I was,
and deep down I just felt that and I I
was tired of protecting myself. We had spent enough time
together where you know, I felt like this was my
person and I had the courage enough to say it,

(32:05):
but I was very nervous, and Luckfoy, he said it back.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Did you say it back the first time?

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Well, there was, ah, okay, well there's been some slipout.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Well okay, okay.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
She was she has a plate in her hand because
she she had like an accident and she was like
coming up from I think.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
That was he's talking about a metal plate.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, she was had surgery or something.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
She was coming out of anesthesia and and she was
like sitting there and she was and then I was
like what and she was like and she's like I
love you, and I don't remember. I didn't say anything
back yet because I was like, I can't have this
be the first time. And then one time she was
with her friends, they were at dinner and she was like.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
Oh, we really wish you were here.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
We love you, I mean, and then just hung out
like it literally like and then she started wanting to
to really say it, and she was like it was
right when I was going to do it.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
It was the same night and I was like, hey,
let me get my stuff out.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
And he literally said that, and then I just said and.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
I was like please.

Speaker 4 (33:15):
I was like, please just let me out because I
had it was like I had felt it and I
was about to do it, and I was like, I
want to wait till New York so it's special be
in my house, like it'll be a good thing. And
then the day I was doing it, she was like
she like couldn't take it anymore, and she said it,
and then we said it. And the thing that's crazy

(33:36):
is you know, before you say I love you.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
It's like this thing. It's like taboo. You're scared to say.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
And then after you're like, oh my god, I can't,
Like you want to say it a thousand times in
a row.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
You never want.

Speaker 4 (33:48):
I can't even understand how I went so long without
saying it to her. I say it three thousand times
a day to her, and like I make sure every
day I say I love you so much, like I
love you a million times, and then I always tell
her how beautiful she is and how lucky I am
to have her every day. You know what, I's so
annoying like you, and I always want to know, and

(34:08):
I always want to do that because I want her
to know that every day I don't take any of
anything for granted, and I still look at her and
my breath gets taken away in so many different ways.
And I said to her last night we were sitting,
we were in like the pool or something together last
night and we were just hanging out, and I was
just like, you're so beautiful. And I don't mean that

(34:31):
just physically. I'm saying, like you can feel it. There's
like a ring, like an aura around her that exudes
just like warmth.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
And it just making me want to cry.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
How do you react in the moment when they hapened, Celina,
Because Benny, we're basically the same person. I do the
same thing to my wife. I do it to Roddy
so Lucky Dye will just pull the funniest face in
the world. Yeah, I was like, how do you react
when when Benny's doing all these amazing things, Selina said, Because.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
I say, now, let's be honest, I also am equally grateful,
and I tell him that all the time. I just
it makes me feel like it's not real, and I'll
like sometimes I'll be like, this seems too good to
be true, Like he's so sweet to me. But now

(35:21):
I've accepted it, I think I actually love it so
much that it just makes me want to give him
that support and that love back. So it's safe to
say I feel much safe for doing that now, and
I like it.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
I think so many people feel that when someone's that nice,
and that's coming from someone who's like that myself with friends, family,
and obviously with my wife too. A lot of the
time that's scene as a weakness, like people kind of
look down on it when someone's that open about their feelings.
Especially I get asked that a lot. When I'm giving

(35:58):
relationship with dating advice, people be like, oh no, but
if I come on too strong, people get turned off.
What this time was different for you? Where it's like
he's being really affectionate, he's being really open, but there's
a part of you that realizes that's what you want
and that's what you deserve.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Because the world has become so hard to please. If
you will, I'm called fake, I'm called it's insincere, it's
fake all of us. Like it just doesn't feel safe,
and I don't like being myself sometimes and really that's

(36:36):
a bigger problem than just talking about it in a relationship,
because it makes you feel like you have to question
the way you're acting. And I genuinely, yeah, I have
really bad days and sometimes I don't have the energy
to do what I'm doing, but I try ninety nine
percent of the time to be kind and to just

(36:59):
be happy, grateful for what I have, and that just
almost isn't cool anymore. And I hope that that conversation
can kind of start eventually because it's not it's not good.
I want to always be that person that I was,
but it gets harder and harder. What I fell for Benny,

(37:21):
it was it was everything about him was honest. It
wasn't just that he was honest with me. He was
honest about where he was at in life, and he'll
tell me anything that he's feeling, and it made me
feel like I could do the same. But he's the
one person you know, when you're saying those nice things
to me, babe, it's like so sweet, But I believe

(37:44):
him to where I'm not going to believe someone who
is blowing smoke up my but to just make me
feel good. He's saying it because he means it, and
I believe it.

Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah, that's beautiful, that honesty that someone has in every
area of their life, including their bad days, their tough days,
they're challenging days. Then when they're saying that, whether their
days good or bad, and they feel that way, it
resonates with us. I think we all we all sense that.
And I love what you said. I think it's so
important that we make it cool again to care for

(38:16):
people and be cared for, and we make it cool
again to love people and feel loved, and we make
it cool again for people to be kind and true kindness.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
I feel like it's like a macho thing, like guys.
Guys are always trying. It's like, stop trying to be cool.
Like it's like guys try to be so cool and
like they don't want. I think it's cool to show
your emotions. I think it's cool to tell you that
the person like I call my mom an up and
I tell her how beautiful she is, too, like, and
I think it's cool to make people feel good.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
I think it's cool to like, you know.

Speaker 4 (38:45):
I just feel like people like are trying to push
people down a lot sometimes, like to make themselves feel
better but you look so much cooler and so much better.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
If you're making other people feel you.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
As looking, you'd feel like a better person.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
I'm saying, though, But it's like, I don't understand why
people like choose not to do that.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
And it's like, yeah, it's something I'm very passionate about,
something that I do want to start talking about more.
I want to be a good example. I'm not the
perfect person. Lord knows, I've made tons of mistakes and
continue and will continue to. But I think it's important
that we talk about that.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yeah, I'm really glad you both raised it because I
think so many of us are actually accepting less than
we deserve because we want what's cool, not what we deserve.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
Yeah, like me explaining to you right now, I want
to change my whole approach to anything because of like
one thing that I did, Like that's said. I don't
want to have to change who I am, Like that
was hurtful, for sure.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
I don't never want to do it.

Speaker 4 (39:51):
I don't do any of that, like when some of you,
I don't care what's going on.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
No, he's great at that, which helps me not care
as much.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
But I don't care about what anyone says, I don't
care about comments. I don't care about pras, I don't
care about anything. I don't care about what anyone says.
I yeah to try to have you always been that way?

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (40:10):
What made you that confident? Because I think a lot
of people need to hear that.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Because it's like this, Okay, why are you reading the comments? Okay?
There's two reasons.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
You're either reading the comment because you want people to
be like, oh my god, I love you, or you
want someone to say.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
You piece of shit, You're ugly, you look like shit.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
You know what I'm saying, And it's like and you
don't need either one of those answers. I'd rather just
free fall through life and I don't need to know
any of that stuff. And I've never even read an
interview back ever that I've ever done. I don't look
at the pictures like I ask my manager, I say, hey,
did I say something stupid in the interview? And if
he says yes, I said, what did I say that
was stupid? Or I say okay, great if it's something

(40:52):
like I don't want to know, there's always going to
be someone trying to bring you down. Hating is free, Okay,
so people are gonna be hating all over the world'
and gonna be hating from their bedroom. They're gonna be
and I just don't even understand it. I've never even
thought in my mind to like to like go on
someone's page be like, Jay, that shirt's ugly? Why'd you

(41:13):
wear that? Those stripes look like shit?

Speaker 3 (41:15):
Jay?

Speaker 2 (41:16):
No, I never even thought about that.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Like, if anything, I write like, oh my god, I
love this show Jay, like and I just don't think
we live in this weird world where people seek validation
in so many different ways, and I don't think be neat.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
And I know it's hard.

Speaker 4 (41:32):
I know it's hard, and people want it and you
want to read the comments, you want to look at it,
but I just don't think I'm gonna gain anything from it.
In that time I could be looking at those comments,
I could be hanging out with my friends or like
going on a walk or eating something delicious.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
Mulier.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yeah, I think I think you have that too, And
it's why you've been so successful in music, Beny yourself,
because I think you can create original sound because it's
not trying to be like someone else or impress someone
else likes. It's partly why you're so good at your craft,
because to make great music, to invent new sounds, to
create new genres, to create spaces for artists to play in,

(42:09):
it requires that confidence in I'm not trying to sound
like this. I'm not trying to be like this. I'm
not trying to impress. So it's really interesting too, because
I feel like when you're growing up your whole life,
you're told to fit in, and then when you grow
up you have to stand out. But then when you
stand out, then everyone has a chance to point fingers
because when you're doing something differently, that's the only time

(42:31):
if you kind of follow what everyone else is doing
normal lever point fingers.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Do you do you read the comments?

Speaker 1 (42:37):
No, I'm the same as you. But I got really
good advice early on as well. I remember someone saying
to me, they said, Jay, you get if you get
one hundred comments, you're going to look through all of
them to find the one that's negative.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
Right, That's the way the brains works.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
And then you make it out like that one negative
comment is an entire comments section. And so if someone said, Jay,
those stripes are ugly, I'm not walking around my whole
life thinkingly. And let's get honest, that goes even deeper.
If someone says something about you. When you were saying,
like someone called you fake or.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
Something, well, I was basically also going to point out
that women have it. Not sure, please tell Yeah, that's
from my perspective. It's it's pretty wild. And I think
this isn't news to anybody that obviously women have a
lot more intense feelings from their appearance to you know,

(43:32):
what they are wearing, to everything. And I'm saying this
is to me. When I get prepared for an event,
ninety percent of the time, I'm just like, I just
hope I can take the picture and sit down. It's
the character that gets judged. It's the way I'm not
wide enough, I'm not Mexican enough, I'm I don't know.

(43:57):
There's just these so many different things is that come
up in my face that I can't help but see.
But I fell victim to like looking at that things
and it really it doesn't add to your life, but
it's just so difficult from the choices of you know,
the people you date. It's like nobody cares about those

(44:19):
kind of things. With men. They're just like, yeah, they
did that. They said that they you know, they did this,
and so I think we just carry a lot. Oh yeah,
my weight's a big one too. Everyone just has something
to say, and it's really making me sad, and not
even sad because you know what, No, I'm not a
victim everyone. I just think it's made me a tad

(44:40):
bitter and I feel really guilty for saying that, but
it's true. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
It's a really interesting time, isn't it, Because and I'm
so happy that you both talking about this because I
feel like, on one end, we're all like body positivity,
let's talk about mental health, let's protect each other, like
there's this whole conversation, and then on the other side,
we're like pointing fingers at people about their weight and
their appearance and whatever else. It is, like you said,

(45:07):
judgments of characters, especially saying with women, And I find
that so interesting because I'm like, wait a minute, don't
we realize that the same people are saying mental health matters. Yeah,
are the same people that are pointing fingers at people
that can affect people's mental health.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
I'm just happier that I don't have that. You know.
I had to stop after a while, and I still
take breaks completely because I'm human, So of course sometimes
I read things, but I do most of the time
ignore most of everything. I don't have anything on my
phone at the moment, so there are ways to combat it.

(45:41):
I'm doing it. I'm not in like, I'm not in
like I hate it. I understand the power of what
social media is. It's just tricky.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, yeah, it is very tricky. Thank you guys, Yeah,
thank you for opening up about it, because I can
imagine it just gets exhausting after a while. It's just, yeah,
just tired of it, you know, Yeah, because it's all
the same and you're processing all the same stuff. But
what about Viseelena, what's been the way that you've been
able to manage your crazy work schedule, staying committed to
the relationship, finding time to make memories and makes it I.

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Think you know, I will say it's it's very hard
for me, and like Benny said in the beginning, it
was very difficult for me to take trips away. It
just makes me feel once I understood and got to
know him, and I wasn't afraid to tell I'm like, hey,
I just want to make sure like it's not that

(46:37):
I don't trust you? Can you just text me before you,
you know, go to your next thing. And I was
able to do that with him and he wasn't combative,
he wasn't like why I don't you don't trust me?
It was just like, yeah, I could totally do that.
And with that, day by day, I feel more and
more open and you know, we're going to be separated

(47:01):
again while I go shoot in New York and yeah,
I'm ready for it. I think it's it's doable, but
it's not fun.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Exactly, it's not fun, but but it found It sounds
like you found a system that works for you. And
the system is so simple. Is literally just listening to
the other person. If the other person says, hey, I
need this, it's not now like a debate around whether
they don't trust you. Because I think a lot of
us if someone said that to you, Benny, like it
would be easy for your reaction to be like, well,

(47:32):
how can you not trust me? Like you always know
where I am? Like how why do I have to
do this every day? Like you could have that reaction,
but that reaction doesn't make the relationship better. And I
think that's where often that goes where someone vulnerably says, hey,
all I need is this.

Speaker 4 (47:47):
If someone's coming at you with a certain energy, you're
already going to buck back. Like she always comes in
a way where she's like, well I didn't like this
because of this, this and this. I'm like, she just said,
it's so nice that I have to I'm like no,
because I'm like, shit, I have to approach this in
a different way because she came at it with such

(48:08):
class and effort, so like I'm not going to come
back at her like that.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
I'm going to come back at her and.

Speaker 4 (48:13):
Say, well I agree with what you're saying, or you know,
I disagree, and here's why, you know.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
And that's how we talk through everything.

Speaker 4 (48:21):
And then another thing was I really wanted a person
that when I wake up, I think to myself, I'm like,
how can I make Selena's day better? Like how what
can I do in my day to make her day better?
Because then that makes my day better? And I wanted
to find a person like that. And I know when
Selena wakes up, like the first thing she's thinking is like,
how can I make his day better? And we have

(48:44):
such a give and take like I could never even
see a world where I would ever yell at her
she would ever yell at me. Like we don't argue
like that, Like I feel like I feel like we
just have conversations, like there's never an argument. Sometimes she'll
say this is so funny. Oh boy, no, no, no, She'll
do this and it's really cool. She'll go, I'm feeling

(49:05):
a little irritated, and I think I need like twenty
five minutes. And I'll say okay, and then I give
her her space. And then after like five minutes she
texted me. She's like, hey, will you come back? But
it's knowing that and we have the proper boundaries set
with each other, Like I don't have to be on
top of her every second, she doesn't have to be

(49:27):
on top of me every second we're together. I just
want to know she's in the house so I can
say like, hey, I love you and.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
Then go back to what I'm doing.

Speaker 4 (49:35):
You know what I mean, Because look, we're both highly
independent people. Okay, but we're both little MUSHes who just
need to be attached.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
Yeah, we are so cheesy. It's so fun.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
Yeah, but it's like, but I feel like I think
it helps us too that we're both you know, on
my list a thing was I wanted someone to be
driven and inspired by something. I didn't care if they
made any money or anything. I just wanted someone to
be so into something that they did every day. And
when she comes back from her day and she tells

(50:08):
me what she did, I'm like, I'm not saying they're like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
Like when you're talking to your mom.

Speaker 4 (50:13):
You know, when you're talking to your mom and you
just say your mom just keeps talking, you go yeah,
uh huh yeah. Like she comes back and like my
eyes light up because I see the enthusiasm. I see
what she did, and I'm like it inspires me, and
I'm like, I gotta do more in this thing. And
it's like we're in this place where we're inspiring each
other and we're so inspired by what the other person's doing.

(50:36):
And and she'll help me out. She'll be like, well,
what if you did it like this this and this
and that, And then she'll say something I'll be like, well,
why don't you handle the situation? Because we have such
different personalities that are also the same, but we're the
thing that one of us is really good at, the
other one maybe lacks a little bit and vice versa.
And it's so cool to be able to like workshop

(50:59):
like conversations or how to handle a situation in it.
And I just feel so comfortable with her like that
I can say anything and she won't ever say I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
I love the maturity. I mean hearing you both talk
about it.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Yeah, there, we are not the perfect.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
No, that's not perfect.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
But you're disagreeing, no, no, no, But I think the
maturity of and I agree with you. I think I
think that's actually the difference, and I'm glad you brought
that up. I think there's a big difference between maturity
and perfection. Perfection is saying we never have a disagreement,
we never have to take space from each other, which
you're not saying.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
You're saying, hey, I.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
Just asked for twenty five space, and then I was like,
wait a minute, I need to And I think there's
a maturity in that because it requires maturity from both
parts for you to first say hey I need space,
for you to say I get it, I respect you,
and then for you to have the maturity to say
actually I want you back, and for you to be
like not like oh I told you so, for you
to be like, I'm here for you like that. That's

(51:58):
not perfection to me, that's maturity. And I think that's
I really want people to get that from it, that
you are going to have disagreements, you are going to
want space like me and Raley went through that. She
at the beginning of our relationship, if we had a
disagreement and we were the same, we never we made
a rule that we would never raise our voices at
each other because I came from a home where it
was not great. She comes from a home where her

(52:20):
parents don't raise their voices. But I was just like,
I never wanted them in my home. I wanted the
energy of my home to be so sacred, and I
wanted the energy of the home to always have a
space where everyone just walked in and felt like a
warm hug. And I was like, we can't argue and
then expect that to happen. But it took a long
time for us to realize that when she at the
start of our disagreements, she wanted space. And I used

(52:43):
to say to her, well, if you don't want to
talk about it right now, that means you don't care
about me. And that wasn't true. She just needed space
to process. So it took time for us to mature,
for me to realize, wait a minute, you wanting space?
Is you caring?

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (52:55):
The relationship some people, I get it. They want to
talk about it right then, they want to The one
thing that also works for us so much is like
we're not chill people, but we're like we're not We're
never gonna get I like, I'm not gonna yell at
anyone in my life.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Like yes and yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
And you know, I came from a home where a
lot of that was happening, and I saw like at
a young age, and I was just like, well, like
my parents weren't speaking the same language. Obviously they were
speaking the actual same language. They weren't speaking the same
language to each other to communicate. And if someone comes

(53:31):
at you like hostile right away, the first thing I'm
gonna do, and I know she's gonna do, is shut down.
So you're not getting anything, you know. And I always
say this, Guys are so quick to like they gotta win,
they gotta win the argument. And it's like what are
you doing? What are you winning? Like you're gonna argue
with your wife and like make her cry and then
you're like I won that argument, and then she hates

(53:53):
you and resents you like.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
Wait, like, don't be an idiot, and it's like I am.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
I've been guilty though to start, Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (54:01):
I'm mad of you.

Speaker 3 (54:02):
Sorry. I think for me, I necessarily felt like in
other situations of mine, I was very reactive. I think
that's why I was alone for five years, because I
really needed to collect myself. I think in the past
that's why I say to him all the time, and

(54:24):
ten years ago, it's not that I wouldn't have wanted
to be with you. I just wouldn't have been in
the right headspace. And I don't think that you deserve
what I had gone through before. So I've learned a
lot of lessons and I've made mistakes, and I just
want this to be right. So for me, that was

(54:45):
a lesson that I had to learn, because I think
girls can equally want to be right that for me,
it was really difficult in the past, and he's made
it unbelievably easy, to the point where if I even
get to the point where I'm sough frustrated, he's like
very quick to understand. I hear you, like you're allowed
to feel bad, and that helped me shift where my

(55:09):
mind used to go, which was a little bit of anger.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
So it was the validation of how you felt in
those reactive moments. Yes, that allowed you to not be reactive?
What was it that allowed you? Because I feel like,
as Benny was saying earlier, you carry this baggage from
all of our relationships into this one.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
I respect Benny because he's done nothing but respect me.
I again trust him. I can tell him anything, even
if it's about something that's uncomfortable, and maybe she should
just talk to your girlfriends like he is that and
that helps calm me down to say, Okay, so I'm

(55:51):
going through these things because of maybe what I had
before or whatever it is. It's nothing is ever bad,
like nothing in my life. If I regret, and I'm
so so happy for my journey and I'll continue to
be it is a lesson that you have to be
patient and learn. And I just I could never picture

(56:12):
myself disrespecting him. I think it's also just.

Speaker 4 (56:16):
A different thing because it's like, look, none of us
are perfect. Like she gets spicy sometimes and when I
see something happening, it's about guiding the missile, not adding
a jet pack on top of it with a with
like machine gun artillery, Like I want to make if
I see her getting to a place where I'm like, man,

(56:37):
in five minutes from now, this room could explode. I'm
never gonna let it get to that five minutes from now.
I'm going to say, what are all the tools that
I know that work for her, that I've learned over Like,
I'm not going to exacerbate a situation. I'm going to
try to calm it down, because why do I want
to be in that position where we're both just like

(56:57):
upset about something. I don't want to just calm it
down and tell her what she wants to hear. I'm
not saying that. I'm not saying like to your partner.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Be like, yes, you're right, You're totally right. Like everything
you know.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
I think you listen and you say like okay, Like
sometimes I even I'll say like, let's not let.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
It get there, let's like just talk about this.

Speaker 4 (57:15):
And I do think physical touch is always like a
very big way, Like if you're in a conversation with
your partner, like it's like sometimes just like a hand
helps or just holding their hand while you're telling them
or giving them a hug while you're telling them, and
if someone's upset, let them talk it out first, and
then after they talk it out, be like, Okay, well

(57:36):
here's what I think you know, and you can work
through these things together. It's such an easy way. It's
not always easy, I can tell you that. And sometimes
we just someone wants to be frustrated, and it's like,
sometimes she'll tell me that. She'll just be like, I
know it's gonna be okay, but like, I just want
to be frustrated in this moment, and I'll have to
redirect because I'll be like, you know what, you have

(57:58):
every right to be in this moment, and she'll say
this is why she said, this is why I want
to be frustrated this moment. She said it the other
day about something I can't even remember, and I was
just like, oh my god. I was like, yeah, I
was like, that makes so much sense. I was like,
I don't agree with the frustration. We'll get there afterwards,
and I was like, but I get it. I get it,
and it's so cool and I've never quite had a
relationship like with her, and we're the furthest thing from

(58:22):
perfect in the world. We're perfect for each other, We're
not perfect for everyone else. But I think the thing
that's cool is that we've had all these experiences. I've
had all my experiences where it wasn't right, and I'm like, oh, okay,
I'm going to change that the next time, you know,
with this person or with that person. And I think
that's when you really grow, is when you take all

(58:42):
your experiences, good or bad.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Like I'm like her, I take.

Speaker 4 (58:45):
Any experience in my life, my past partners, my family,
my everything. It's like everything happened for a reason, and
I'm not going to sit here and mope about like
things that could be better or different. What I'm gonna
do is I'm gonna say, Okay, I learned this, and
now I'm going to put it into practice.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
You know, For me, I always I always said to RADI,
I always say to my wife, do you want me
to listen? Do you want me to fix this? Or
did you just want me to go through it with you?

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Because a lot they don't want you to fix it
right away.

Speaker 4 (59:17):
And I'm not saying I'm saying men or women, sometimes
it's not about fixing, you know, everyone is, you know,
I'm such a problem solver and you are too, so
it's like your first thing, I know, the first thing
in your head is like, how can I fix this situation?
But sometimes it's not about fixing it right there. Sometimes
it's about just like you know, especially for women who
are like strong, like both our partners, they don't have

(59:38):
a lot of time to be vulnerable in all the
areas of their life. They have the world on their backs.
Your wife has. There's so many people that rely on her.
There's so many people that rely on her, So sometimes
they just want to complain about something and that's okay,
that's okay, it's okay. Who else are they going to
do it to? They might as well do it and
you just listen.

Speaker 1 (59:58):
I have to ask you both about this because I
was so excited when the news came out and it
just you know, it was it was so beautiful to
see it go from where it started this but your
proposal and now you're engaged and like that just I
can tell, I mean it just it feels just beautiful
being in the same space with you both loving on
each other, which is great. Uh, Selena, what was the proposal?

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Like, like we have a video of it, but I
want to save that for us and just keep that private.
But basically, what I will share is that I thought
we had a shoot that day, and I had hair
and makeup and I was doing my regular day. I

(01:00:43):
get in the car and I'm thinking to myself, where
are we going, because at this point, I feel like
I know a lot of the studios that I go to.
And I just started getting a little frustrated because I
was like, this seems far right, just me and my
secure and he's laughing because he's just like, oh, it's

(01:01:03):
just you know, I don't know, it's a new space.
I was like, okay, we get out. I just I
walk in and all of a sudden, I see no
one's in the room and I just look at my
assistant and she just shuts the door, and I was like, uh,
I like kind of walked on to, you know, the

(01:01:24):
area that he had set up, and you know, I
think you envision all the things that you would do
and say when someone asks you, but it is actually
the craziest feeling. It was really special. He said the
sweetest things. But I also was so shocked that it
just felt unreal for a long time, and I don't know.

(01:01:49):
I've always dreamt of that moment, and he couldn't have
made it more perfect. And yeah, it was one of
the best days of my life, for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
I wasn't nervous until one second before. I was so
not nervous. I was doing work until one second.

Speaker 4 (01:02:04):
I was approving masters for an album that was coming
out that night, and then right when it happened, right
when it was about to happen, I.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Said, oh shit, what the am I going to say?

Speaker 4 (01:02:16):
And I'm so good with words usually I can't remember anything.
If we didn't have a video of it, I wouldn't
even remember what I said. You know, I had known
I was going to propose for it for so long,
and I never cared about marriage. Wasn't a thing in
my head. She cared about it so much, so I said, well,
now I care about it because she cares about it.

(01:02:37):
And I found myself not even thinking it was going
to be a big deal till I was there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
And then I said, holy shit, get married now.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
And in the moments leading up to it, it's not
really real until it's real. I remember it was so
special for me because it was special for her. And
then yeah, she said the two times you said that
we're the best things in your life?

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Were that? And then I got you what a Burger?

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
What's this?

Speaker 3 (01:03:09):
Whateverger is a restaurant chain that I'm not sure where
they are, but they're not in California and they're not
in New York. And I love this chain so much
because there's a million in Texas where I'm from, and
I love the biscuits, Texas toast and gravy. It's so

(01:03:31):
good and we don't have that. And for Valentine's Day,
he surprised me, and this was it. This is all
we really did. I was on the phone and he
comes in with whataburger? And I literally look at him
like I'm freaking out. And he had someone apparently they

(01:03:52):
opened up in Vegas, and while we were talking, someone
drove kept it warm and then.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
Nodkeep it warm.

Speaker 4 (01:04:00):
I so I And what I did was I got
all the parts to it and talk to the people
there and figured out how I could reheat it the
best way. And I was reheating in all different ways,
putting it together. And then yeah, brought it to her
because to me, someone like self could have anything in
the world.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
The best thing you could do.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
She said it right after, she said, right when I
gave it to her, She said, I can't believe you
listened and remembered my order and remembered all these things
in such an easy way, and then you just did it.
She said, That's what makes this gift so special is
that you actually like listened to the things and it
goes such a long way.

Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
That I did. Say then, my two favorite moments are
the proposal and my burger. I just think I was
just so far He's done wonderful things.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
That's brilliant.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
I was just thinking so crazy. Did you know we
were born within ten minutes from each other?

Speaker 3 (01:04:55):
Really?

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:04:56):
The day?

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
No, no, no place.

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
Oh she was born in Texas.

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
Yeah, I was born right near her, like ten fifteen
minutes away.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
And you never met in Texas ever that no, he can't.

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
I don't claim Texas.

Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
I was born in Texas, but I grew up in Virginia,
I claimed, she claims tex.

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
Do you remember your proposal?

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
Of course I remember my proposal. It was it was
very I would say I was definitely impacted by lots
of social media trends, for sure. In my first chapter
of my second book, which is all about love. I
talk about how I would redo my proposal because so
not that I didn't like. It was perfect for the time,

(01:05:39):
but it's so wasn't us.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
I'll tell it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
It's embarrassing, but I'll tell it. I'll tell it. So
we were walking down one of our favorite walking paths
on the bank of the Thames in London, and we're
walking down. I told Radi that we were going to
a dinner with my family and it was in a
nice place. So she dressed up and everything, and we
come out and then this random guy out of nowhere
walks out with the bouquet flowers in massive one. He

(01:06:04):
hands it to her and then I had an a
cappella group seeing Bruno Mars.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
It was really sweet. They were great.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
They were very talented. And then I got down on
one knee and then I asked her to marry me,
and thankfully, I was crying the whole time. Thankfully she
said yes. But I tell that story to say it
could have been anyone's proposal.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
And I had.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Food brought in from her favorite restaurant, but by the
time I got there it was cold and it was
I didn't do what you did. Benny sassed up and
then when we walked around the corner, there was a
white horse drawn carriage that took us around the city.
But then when we got so then we were going
back to her parents on the train to tell her
parents what had happened, and I told them I was

(01:06:46):
proposing that night. But we were going to hers and
we got to her house and her parents opened the
door and they looked around and they were like, what
did he do to you? Because she had hives all
over her face. Because I didn't know she was allergic
to your horses, and she didn't know either, And so
that was the night we figured out that she was
allergic to And so that story reminded me that I

(01:07:08):
didn't know her but I didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
Yeah, you know, we thought, Yeah, I was trying.

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
I was trying really hard.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
No, but it's one of that.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
We've been together for twelve years and married for nine,
so we're doing all right. But I look back on
it and I look at how much of my life
was just impacted by the world of love, and now,
knowing my wife as deeply as I do, I would
do it completely differently. So I'm trying to convince her
to renew our vows and our ten years and also
because our friends have changed, Like we got married nearly

(01:07:39):
ten years ago.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Now we moved your life, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
So much has changed, and so I'm like the people
I want to celebrate my did you even have the podcast? No? No,
no nothing, no no no, When did you have the podcast?
Podcast is six years old? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
It wasn't she on like your first ever episode?

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
She was my first episode? Yeah, my wife's my first episode. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
So sweet.

Speaker 2 (01:07:58):
But yeah, we'll do it again.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
And I think it's great reminder of just how much
we evolve and mature in relationships and how it's okay
to look back and go, hey, like, you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:06):
Know, that's a great story.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
Yeah, it's a fun story. It's a fun story. But
but yeah, no, I'm so happy to hear about how
beautiful this proposal was. You nailed it, Benny, You're the man.
I mean, it's it's it's beautiful to hear. And I mean,
last time we were together, Bennie, youre talking about wedding planning.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
How's that going?

Speaker 3 (01:08:23):
We have not even begun because I think for right
now there's just so much going on. I have to
go and shoot a series for a while, and I
don't know, we'll just see we're out any rush and
I'm excited.

Speaker 4 (01:08:40):
Yes, I don't even care about the next time. No,
it's no, but like we're honestly, we're so we've been
doing so much stuff we haven't even gotten to really
just like so it's like, I think we're looking forward
to doing that in New York a little bit.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
And what does that look like for both of you?
Just you two spending time together.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:59):
He's very good at like organizing and planning, and I'm
very visual, So I'm like, this is what I like,
and this and this, and then he figures out how to.

Speaker 4 (01:09:09):
It'll be whatever she's already told me the types of
things she likes and wants for a wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
It'll be fun.

Speaker 1 (01:09:15):
I love it. You both obviously got back into the
studio together recorded an amazing album. I got to listen
to bits of it. Was it was an interesting process,
but I'll tell you about that offline, but I got
to listen to it, and what I loved was I
was surprised. I thought it was going to be about
your relationship, but it sounded that it was about a

(01:09:37):
history of your life setting and it felt like a
history of love.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
But the interesting part is it actually has multiple different stories. Yeah,
some of the songs are actually about, you know, his
past relationships. So I think that it was really special
because we were able to talk about those kind of
emotions and feeling and not a lot of people maybe

(01:10:02):
feel that comfortable doing that with a partner, but I
don't know. We told each other all kinds of things
like I would if I was in a session with
someone I trusted, and so yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean,
of course it's not all about you know, rainbows and sunshine,
but it's it's real and I and I think these

(01:10:26):
are all feelings people have felt before, and that's what
we really wanted is people to connect to the music,
whether you know you like it or not. We're just
stoked that we got to make album that we're proud.

Speaker 1 (01:10:38):
That's beautiful.

Speaker 4 (01:10:39):
I feel like the thing that's so cool about it
is I've been fortunate enough to make a lot of
songs in my day and people come up to me
all the time and they say, this song changed my
life because I would you know, I was going through
the same thing, and sometimes it is what I wrote about.
And sometimes they think the meaning is not thing of

(01:11:00):
what I wrote about. But that's the best part about
music that it hits you. It's like music is one
of the senses. It's like food. It's like like there's
certain things, certain smells, certain songs. They bring you back
to a time immediately, Okay, Like you're immediately transported. And
it's so cool that everybody can be listening to the
same song and have a completely different relationship with it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
I feel like that's so cool.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
What was it like going from working together that first
time to this time? Like, what was different?

Speaker 3 (01:11:29):
What was different is I never allowed him in the room.

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
I can kiss her now.

Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
And I just I have liked to record a loone.

Speaker 4 (01:11:37):
What's really different is I feel like we got to
talk about stuff that you would never talk about as
an artist if it wasn't with her partner being next
to her. And honestly, I would take out I would
just write everything she said. Sometimes you wake up from
a dream and she's like, I have this terrible dream
and this is what it was, and blah blah blah.
I write it down then it becomes a song. Well,

(01:11:59):
it was so cool being able to I don't know,
it was like therapy.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
Well, you were saying to me when we spoke on
the phone, I think it was last week. You were
saying that there was just it was like a safe
space to.

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
Be say whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:12:13):
You could say whatever you want. There's certain things you
wouldn't be able to say if you were if I was, Hey, babelake,
I just want that she'd be like with But if somehow,
like when I'm playing chords while we're saying it, it's.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
Like, oh, okay, a great story.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Yeah, and you can just talk about things and you're
more open. It's like a therapy session. It's like it's
a safe place and like it was cool to learn
things about her that I don't know if I would
have learned ever or as soon as I did.

Speaker 1 (01:12:40):
Did he bring you closer making the album? Like what
was it like being together? Then making an album together and.

Speaker 3 (01:12:45):
Being absolutely we were able to share things with each
other and she would listen to my doubts and he
would give me great notes and it was never criticizing.
It was always coming from a really mental place. And
I do I think it absolutely has brought us closer,
but that's also time and spending it with him.

Speaker 4 (01:13:08):
It's yeah, also we got to spend so much more
time together. Yeah, because our workday's got to blend a little.

Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
Yeah, it's a great excuse to spend time to Yeah,
I'm almos trying to find ways to work more with
my wife, and I'm just trying to come up with
a new excuse me.

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
I know, that's all I wanted.

Speaker 1 (01:13:22):
Yeah, yeah, that's all I would do it too. And
you had some amazing collapse as well on the album.
Obviously you've launched the song with Gracie and yeah's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:13:30):
Oh my, I'm so happy that she's She was just
such a doll and so talented. And you've known her
so I shouldn't say that since she was like thirteen,
but I love her.

Speaker 2 (01:13:42):
Did you interview her yet? No?

Speaker 1 (01:13:44):
No, I haven't. Yeah, you've been a fan for a while.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
I've known her since she was fourteen.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (01:13:49):
So to see where I put her on an album
like five years ago, wow, So like to see where she's.

Speaker 2 (01:13:54):
Gone is so cool.

Speaker 4 (01:13:56):
And you know, I'm always one who like loves new talent,
new artist, and she's great, just such a great point
of view. Her writing comes from such a good place
and it's like I love people where it feels like
they're like and seeing it as it too, where it
feels like they're just kind of talking to you and
then they're like, oh wait, I'm listening to a song,
but like what what you know? Yeah, it's just you know,

(01:14:17):
making the album with her, I felt like it taught me.
I was just like, we're really good at communicating with
each other and saying like and setting boundaries and saying
when we like something, when we don't like something, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:29):
How do you do that when you're in a relationship
You're like, I just don't like the sound of that.
Like that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:32):
We're both I think it comes down to ego, and
we both don't really have that. So if we disagree
on something, it's like, okay, agree to disgrace, Like that's fine.
But yeah, of course if I say I don't know
if I like that, he most of the time doesn't
even question it and just just really receptive to my Yeah,

(01:14:54):
we just don't have an ego, so it doesn't matter.
He could say no, I don't like it, and I'd
be like, Okay, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
What are you hoping that?

Speaker 1 (01:15:02):
Is there a song there that you're really excited for
fans to hear or anything specific.

Speaker 4 (01:15:06):
I want people to hear the whole body of work,
and like I don't really think about music like that.
I make it for myself and luckily people happen to
like some of it. And we started this thing in
our room and we recorded the whole album in the
house and with.

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
Our fact that's so intimate. That's have you ever done
that before?

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
Not like this?

Speaker 4 (01:15:28):
No, no, And it was like it kind of blurred
reality a little. It was the most fun I ever had,
and I just like wanted a piece of music to
be able to I don't know one day, like show
our kids and be like look at this, like look
at this thing mommy and Daddy made, and it was
like I can't believe it, Like it's so cool to me.

(01:15:51):
I don't care what happens with it. I was just
like so excited to do this with the person I
love and freeze a moment in time in a way
that not a lot of people have the ability to do,
and like we had, we were lucky enough to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
Yeah, Selena, you mentioned earlier always wanting to be a
mom and Thenny just mentioned kids. Is that are you
both like big family, big lots of kids?

Speaker 3 (01:16:15):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know what will happen, obviously,
but I I love children. I mean I've been an
eleven year old sister that I absolutely adore and I'm
still doing wizards this this far along because i love children.
I love making them laugh. They're just so sweet. So

(01:16:36):
absolutely when that day comes, I'm so excited for It's funny.

Speaker 4 (01:16:41):
We'll be at We'll be at like a gathering or
a party. And not many people know this, but like
Selena is like the ultimate level of shy, like the
ultimate ultimate ultimate level of shy, Like couldn't.

Speaker 3 (01:16:53):
I don't know a lot of people sometimes I get checked.

Speaker 4 (01:16:55):
It couldn't be more of like an introvert shy, which
is crazy because she's the biggest star in the world
and it's like I'm not when she walks into a
room to him her main yeah, her main goal is
to like disappear into the crowd.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
That's like her.

Speaker 4 (01:17:11):
Her goal is to just like everyone's it's my mom
is very similar. My mom are very similar, and they're
you know, they're never gonna there's a crowd of people.
They're never gonna like be like how like me or
probably you would do.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
We were like not like we're talking, they're not gonna
do that.

Speaker 4 (01:17:25):
They're like wait and say like one thing throughout the
night that winds up being like the most poignant or
funny thing of the night, but like I'm gonna have
diarrhea of the mouth, talk and everyone. And whenever there's
kids at a place, it's the only time I see
her do that. She immediately goes to kids and like
has these conversations for like hours with the kids.

Speaker 2 (01:17:45):
That's taking care with the kids. And I think it's
also I think it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
Probably also has to do with like when you started
doing this, you were a kid and that was your
way to connect to people. And I feel like you
still feel like you have that obligation to connect with
like young kids because you made some You shaped so
many young.

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
People's lives, whether it was Barney, whether there.

Speaker 4 (01:18:05):
Was wizards, And I feel like you're still finding your
way to do that. And it's so crazy just to
see because she's transcended into so many different categories. It's
so hard to call her like, you know, a pop star,
this an actress, so.

Speaker 2 (01:18:20):
That you know, you don't know what to cars. There's
so much of a multi hyphen it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:24):
Yeah, and you notice it sometimes when we see people,
because you'll see a little girl come up to her crying.
Then you'll see her older sister that's like twenty, then
you'll see the mother, and then the grandmother. So like
it's like she's hitting all these boxes in people's lives
and touching so many people. And you know, she's such

(01:18:45):
a hermit that she doesn't even realize.

Speaker 2 (01:18:47):
It all the time.

Speaker 4 (01:18:49):
And you know, I'm always reminding her of like what
she's doing and how special it is, and how she's
always been so you know, outspoken, and we'll always say
what's on in her mind and is always you know,
just I just I just feel like she's There's not
a lot of people who are like just absolutely authentically themselves,

(01:19:11):
and like that's what draws me towards her more than
anything else. She's always going to tell you how she's feeling.
She's always going to be herself, she's never going to
try to be somebody else.

Speaker 1 (01:19:22):
Well said, you know, I, Lovelena, I'm so grateful to
you both for just opening your hearts.

Speaker 3 (01:19:30):
Being so with you, only with you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:34):
Yeah, I can't believe you got her to say some
of this stuff. She never said, very very she would
never say any of this.

Speaker 1 (01:19:40):
Is there anything you didn't say that that you wanted
to say?

Speaker 3 (01:19:44):
I actually am thinking. I just I'm just really grateful
that people like you exist because you you bring so
much joy to people and also understanding, you know, many
different ways of life and navigating that, and I think
you're a great example. So I just would like to

(01:20:07):
say thank you. I trust you with that information and
it's always a pleasure to be with you, So thanks
for having us.

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
You're both You're both just so special. You've always been.
I've always said, Selena for years that you know no
matter and those moments where I could tell you were
shy or wanting to disappear, but always being so gracious
and kind to me and my wife whenever we were
together and making us feel comfortable even if you felt uncomfortable.
And Benny, you know, just the wonderful conversations we've had

(01:20:37):
over the last couple of years, and I feel like
we've done everything. We've talked about so many different things,
and we are both kind of like that, you know,
back and forth, back and forth kind of people. But
you've both done the final five before on the show,
so we wanted to do something different with you both.
We wanted to play a little couple's game.

Speaker 4 (01:20:57):
These, oh, I know exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:21:01):
They're fun, fun questions.

Speaker 1 (01:21:03):
I'm not going to take what you just told me
and turn it right. So we're gonna do where we're
gonna I'm gonna ask you questions. You both have to
write something down and then we'll reveal. So don't look
at each other's answers. Question number one, if Benny would
cook you anything in the world, Selena, what would he
choose to cook for you? So both of you can
write down. So, Bennie, if you're going to cook anything

(01:21:25):
for Selena, what would it be?

Speaker 3 (01:21:27):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:21:29):
Like, what do I think she wants the most?

Speaker 3 (01:21:33):
A few?

Speaker 2 (01:21:35):
I think I know what.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
It's a hard question.

Speaker 2 (01:21:38):
It's a hard I think I know it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:40):
Three For anyone who doesn't know Bennie is an insane
connoisseur of.

Speaker 3 (01:21:45):
Food, I know, Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:21:49):
I don't think it's going to be the same. That's three.

Speaker 3 (01:21:59):
That's actually that. That's what I wrote.

Speaker 2 (01:22:00):
That's what you.

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
Oh you did, Yes, but I loved he makes this
corn depth that I can just eat for breakfast lunch.

Speaker 1 (01:22:07):
And that's a good thing. That there's more than one thing.
That's a good thing. Yeah, that's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:22:11):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:12):
All right, Selina, if you would cook anything for Benny,
what would you choose to cook?

Speaker 2 (01:22:17):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:22:18):
All right, oh my gosh, I do well?

Speaker 2 (01:22:23):
Is it not what I think you're answer? I think
you're can say this.

Speaker 3 (01:22:30):
Because I like I got.

Speaker 1 (01:22:35):
You got it Benny already?

Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
Yeah? I think so.

Speaker 1 (01:22:39):
Okay, okay, three two one, Okay, there we go, order
of pizza.

Speaker 2 (01:22:49):
You're doing good. This is great.

Speaker 1 (01:22:50):
Okay, this one's this one's a bit more. I'm intrigued
to see what comes out of this. It's not it's
not about well you know each other. It's an interesting one.
If your partner could master any skill instantly, what would
it be? Selina is very confident. Everyone who's listening and
not watching. It's like every time I ask a question

(01:23:12):
in her pen hits the hits the board immediately. All right,
what do we have? Three? Two one? Everything gets annoying.
To be able to sleep through the night.

Speaker 4 (01:23:26):
Yeah, that's what you would want, that's what you would want.

Speaker 3 (01:23:29):
Yeah. I thought it was saying if you could master
a skill, yes, I'm sorry, he'll put on a video game,
he will be well, he'll play basketball. He does well,
he'll do like pro tools, and then he'll do like
all this stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
I feel like this is the skill she'd want to
master to be able to sleep through the night. That's
a real one.

Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
That's a lot of people are struggling. We've done a
lot of episodes on sleep because that's a real challenge
for a lot of people. Yeah, it's hard, especially as
we get older. You wake up in the middle of
the night and yeah, not fun. All right, Okay, Uh,
what's your partner's hidden talent that no one knows about?

Speaker 3 (01:24:09):
Okay, if I'm gonna I'm gonna take this to Benny's level.

Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
What's her hitting?

Speaker 3 (01:24:21):
Not even if I spelled that right.

Speaker 1 (01:24:23):
That's okay, there's no spell check.

Speaker 2 (01:24:25):
But what's her.

Speaker 3 (01:24:26):
Hidden I don't really have one.

Speaker 4 (01:24:31):
I know there are all two public Oh, I know,
I know. This is crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:24:38):
This is funny.

Speaker 1 (01:24:40):
I'm just loving the honesty, guys. You guys are really
going there. It's feelful.

Speaker 3 (01:24:44):
We really like to be honest.

Speaker 1 (01:24:45):
Yeah no, but it's it's so, it's right, okay, Okay,
three two one.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
She knows every episode of Friends by heart.

Speaker 4 (01:25:04):
She knows all of the lines, every line, and you
could name.

Speaker 3 (01:25:10):
What episode did this happen? And I could tell you what?

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (01:25:14):
Yeah, whoa, it's crazy. I everyone watched the show one
time before her.

Speaker 2 (01:25:19):
Yeah, same as me and Roddy.

Speaker 1 (01:25:20):
I didn't know. She knows it pretty well, and I'm like,
I need to catch up.

Speaker 2 (01:25:24):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
That was good. I like that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:26):
What's both of you is perfect date night?

Speaker 3 (01:25:29):
Mmm?

Speaker 2 (01:25:31):
How real am I allowed to be?

Speaker 1 (01:25:33):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (01:25:34):
Just to be like the worst of not wanting to
do it?

Speaker 1 (01:25:40):
Old married?

Speaker 2 (01:25:41):
I love it her idea of a perfect day night.

Speaker 3 (01:25:44):
It's like, oh, I have so many, but this one's just.

Speaker 1 (01:25:52):
Benny's planning the date night in his head right now.

Speaker 3 (01:25:56):
Mine's really simple.

Speaker 2 (01:25:59):
I never write, it's so weird.

Speaker 3 (01:26:06):
Texting.

Speaker 1 (01:26:08):
You both got good handwriting for people who don't write.

Speaker 3 (01:26:10):
There we're definitely not saying the same. This is going
to be so nice and romantic, and mine is just.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
You guys literally reminded with me and rather Yeah, it's
so funny, it's all right.

Speaker 2 (01:26:25):
Three two one reveal.

Speaker 3 (01:26:28):
Hot bene, food on.

Speaker 1 (01:26:30):
A couch, romantic dinner with some small thoughtful gesture than
something I can't write.

Speaker 2 (01:26:37):
I was trying. You're right, they're both good dating.

Speaker 1 (01:26:43):
Now, all right, what is Benny like on a flight,
because Benny notoriously does not She's never seen have you
never done?

Speaker 3 (01:26:53):
He does not fly?

Speaker 2 (01:26:55):
Oh I thought I thought you told me you must
have done it once. I thought you'd have done it,
but not since we've been Wow. Yeah, that's a blank.
Oh wow, I didn't know that. That's that.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
Okay, what do you think Benny will be like on
a flight?

Speaker 3 (01:27:09):
I don't even know if I want to know, because
I would be so worried about him.

Speaker 1 (01:27:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:27:15):
Oh sorry, was I supposed to write? No?

Speaker 1 (01:27:16):
No, no, that's fine. No, for sure, it's a real.

Speaker 3 (01:27:20):
Real I just I think it's a big fear of this.

Speaker 1 (01:27:23):
Yeah, and that's real. It's real. Makes sense, all right? Okay,
a couple more. What's something your partner can do to
make you laugh whenever you're in a mood? So even
if you're in your worst mood, what can your partner
do or what does your partner do that will always
make you laugh?

Speaker 3 (01:27:37):
Ah?

Speaker 1 (01:27:40):
So far Bennie and Selena know each other very well.
This is going really well.

Speaker 3 (01:27:44):
This is crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:27:47):
I like the commitment from both of you. Extremely competitive.
So where Bennie, as you're writing, how did you used
to get to New York to see Selina.

Speaker 2 (01:27:56):
Would you drive? What do you mean what you drive
from here to New York? Yeah? I take the boat
to Europe.

Speaker 1 (01:28:03):
Okay, so explain that journey to us.

Speaker 2 (01:28:05):
Oh my god, it's so long.

Speaker 4 (01:28:08):
It's like first you have to drive to New York
and then you get on a boat for eight days
and you're on the Titanic.

Speaker 1 (01:28:14):
That is amazing. That is real here all right, two one,
go for it. Go and read it, Selena.

Speaker 3 (01:28:20):
It says dance or wrap or say a weird fact
that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:28:26):
That's what you're gonna That's what you do to make
her love. That's what I.

Speaker 1 (01:28:30):
Oh, I did what I do to her to make
her laugh? Oh no, no, I wanted what the other person.
That's what you did, Selena, Right, that's what Bennye does. Yes, yeah,
Bennie not because you wrapped as well. You're a good rapper.

Speaker 2 (01:28:40):
I did what I do to make her laugh.

Speaker 4 (01:28:43):
I said, I huger and then get on to her
and then I do that little funny laugh.

Speaker 3 (01:28:47):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (01:28:48):
Okay. So what does Selena do that can make you laugh.

Speaker 2 (01:28:51):
Whenever she wants?

Speaker 1 (01:28:53):
She like Selena's proven to be the better listener right now.

Speaker 2 (01:28:57):
Okay, wait, so.

Speaker 1 (01:28:59):
We get on.

Speaker 2 (01:29:00):
What do you do that makes me laugh in any mood?

Speaker 1 (01:29:04):
Like whenever you're in any mood? Like, what can they do?
Like yeah, like Roddy would burst down to song and
dance like.

Speaker 3 (01:29:08):
Yeah, I think my existence makes you.

Speaker 4 (01:29:14):
She'll make like a like she does like this like
little face and where she puts her head down and
like looks at me and she's like, I can't even
do it, but she'll do that. That'll make me laugh
and you'll usually get on top of me and.

Speaker 3 (01:29:29):
No, but she actually, this is really funny. When I
try to get somewhat like he did, it's like he
can't take me seriously, so he'll smile and then I'll
go from being like that's true.

Speaker 4 (01:29:45):
Whenever she starts to get like angry, she's like no,
and I just laughed her because it's so hard to
take her seriously.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's usually how our fights.

Speaker 1 (01:29:56):
Yeah, Roddy hates it because whenever she gets angry, I'm like,
you're so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:30:00):
I'm not cute.

Speaker 1 (01:30:04):
I love that. That's okay, all right, what's the one
thing they can't live without apart from you? So about
your partner? So, Benny, you're writing about Selena. Selena is
wranging about you. What's one thing that apart from you?

Speaker 4 (01:30:19):
This couldn't be easier, guaranteed, What do you mean guaranteed?
Easiest answer I could have ever thought of. That's the
best question you could have ever asked me. I'm one
hundred percent right.

Speaker 3 (01:30:36):
You can't. Oh, what.

Speaker 1 (01:30:44):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
Three?

Speaker 1 (01:30:45):
Two one?

Speaker 3 (01:30:46):
Mom oh, space heater? That's true? Here, Okay, So I
I have a very weird problem. It's not even a problem.
It's just a me problem. I'm a very cold person.
My temperature usually on my space heater is ninety and

(01:31:07):
I let it go all over And if I get hot,
I just opened the door and then close it again.
It's so backwards, so weird. Hot.

Speaker 1 (01:31:16):
Everyone everyone's got a different diferent vibe. Trust me, office
next door. The team's always arguing over what temperature the
room's at. Some people really hot.

Speaker 3 (01:31:26):
We have a system.

Speaker 2 (01:31:27):
She always wants it hot.

Speaker 1 (01:31:29):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:31:30):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:31:30):
Uh, what's something the other person is really competitive about?

Speaker 2 (01:31:37):
What are you competitive?

Speaker 3 (01:31:39):
I'm really.

Speaker 2 (01:31:43):
No, I don't know what she's conte don't take Selena
is Nott.

Speaker 4 (01:31:47):
I was going to I was going to say, you
are about games, but then you don't care anymore, like
you're competitive for like the first five minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:31:54):
And no, that's true, and then I'm starting to think
that's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:31:58):
Yeah, yeah, like five true.

Speaker 1 (01:32:01):
I love it all right, So okay, last two questions. Actually,
I'm going to go for the last one because you
both are big on this. Have heard from Benny. What's
the other person's most memorable gift they got you.

Speaker 3 (01:32:18):
That he's given me?

Speaker 2 (01:32:19):
Right, So the most memory one she gave me?

Speaker 1 (01:32:22):
Correct?

Speaker 3 (01:32:23):
Oh, there's so many, but.

Speaker 2 (01:32:26):
Yeah, the one there's no right right after.

Speaker 3 (01:32:32):
This is just the only one that I can think of.
But there's so many. Yeah, Oh sorry, No I didn't.
I just saw like a word.

Speaker 1 (01:32:44):
I love the commitments. It's amazing. You're the best. That's like,
all right? Three? Two?

Speaker 3 (01:32:51):
One?

Speaker 1 (01:32:51):
Who's gonna all right?

Speaker 3 (01:32:52):
Talk about it? Oh that was a good.

Speaker 1 (01:32:54):
One, Okay, explain god?

Speaker 3 (01:32:56):
This what is a picture from a set of Will
and Grace. I thought it was extremely thoughtful because that's
one of my favorite shows, and you can see it
in the background of almost all the episodes.

Speaker 4 (01:33:07):
No, no, I got her an actual piece of art
that's in Willing Grace set. Yeah, I got I knew
the guy my friend wrote it. And I got her
for one of her birthday presents. I got her an
actual painting that's hung up in Willing Grace. And when
I gave it to her. The day I gave it

(01:33:28):
to her, she was watching Willing Grace and it was.

Speaker 2 (01:33:30):
On the TV.

Speaker 3 (01:33:31):
It was so cool.

Speaker 4 (01:33:33):
And that gift and mine's a framed picture of our
first text where we fell in love, like the first
one where we decided we were going to go out
on that date. She framed it and like made this
like cute. She like made like like did all these designs.

Speaker 3 (01:33:48):
It's like macaroni and like glitter.

Speaker 2 (01:33:50):
It was so cute.

Speaker 1 (01:33:51):
That's a great gift. That was one amazing Selena Bennie,
you are truly two of the most special people. I'm
so glad you found each other and I am always
rooting for you, guys, forever in your corner in every
possible way. I love you both deeply and know that
I'm always rooting for your love and sok you so genuinely,

(01:34:12):
so grateful for you.

Speaker 3 (01:34:14):
Do you want me to get you out of these boards.

Speaker 1 (01:34:16):
Are Come on, I expected a or like a hug
or some sort of emoji of bye.

Speaker 3 (01:34:24):
Now I know what I'm good at you for your birthday.
He's obsessed with the thank you I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:29):
You can take them home, well.

Speaker 3 (01:34:30):
I love you, thank you for having Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:34:34):
I hope that allowed you to share everything you wanted
to say.

Speaker 2 (01:34:39):
I love it easy, we did it. Thanks guys. You
guys are so fun.

Speaker 1 (01:34:43):
How was that? If you love this episode, you'll really
enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner
critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

Speaker 3 (01:34:55):
My fears are only going to continue to show me
what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,
the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,
and I just want to keep doing that

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Jay Shetty

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Selena Gomez & Benny Blanco EXCLUSIVE: Their Love Story Like You’ve Never Heard Before