When’s the Last Time You Had Sex?

In this episode, the gang is back and talking about EVERYTHING from why they’re single, to who should be banned from NYC, and the last time any of them had a little adult fun. We also find out why Josh would be terrible in an emergency situation, what Diamond’s biggest red flag, and Andrew’s biggest fear.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is already off to our reporting. Start guys. Hello,
Episode sixty one Sauce on the Side with Diamond and
Andrew and Josh. You could cut the tension with a knife.
What's going on?

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Andrew just loves to seem like he puts on a
show as if he's so important. The work that he's
doing is so important, and it's like you don't even
know what you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
It comes from a place of deep insecurity.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Oh okay, yeah, great, and here we go.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Andrew, would you like to defend yourself?

Speaker 4 (00:29):
No, I'm good. I'll let them project.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I brought you guys here today. Thank you for all joining.
By the way, Josh, I know you're busy, only Josh.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
I'm not busy. I'm not even gonna lie. I'm not
busy right now. It's Monday.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
We got such positive feedback from the last episode that
I thought it would be fun to do another one. Okay, yeah,
but now that everyone's fighting, I feel like it's weird.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
No, No, I like fighting.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Are you are you guys gonna hugg a make up?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Maybe afterwards? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Who are you fighting? Are you fighting? Josh or Diamond?

Speaker 4 (01:00):
I'm fighting? No one the bites came to me. I'd
like to make that perfectly clear. I was just sitting
in here, mind in my business, and then I got
tweedled and tweedled dumb on either side of me.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Wow, okay, I never got a name call. Wow, I
know I didn't name call.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Yeah, you just work Blanche.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
But God forbid you call him a loser? God forbid.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Oh yeah, I'm getting framed for this. It wasn't me.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
That's your handwriting.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
You don't even know my handwriting. When have you ever
seen my handwriting?

Speaker 4 (01:24):
I've seen your handwriting when you could have been talking
about Oh, somebody somehow went and left andrew a to
do list on his to do list apparently, yep, can
I read it?

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Oh please, can you read it?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Since you're trying to frame people for things, it's your handwriting.
It is not my handwriting.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
This, don't be a loser. Stop being a loser, sees
loser activities, see losering, and finally back out of your
loser parking spot. And you think that was me, All
of that sounds exactly like you.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Actually, I will give you. That sounds like things I
would say.

Speaker 4 (01:58):
To you, And it's your handwriting.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Diamond is the user of loser.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
She uses it way more.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
Yeah, it's not Diamond's handwriting. I know what Diamonds handwriting
looks like.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh so now we're a handwriting expert. You've never seen
my writing.

Speaker 4 (02:10):
I one hundred percent have you write like perfectly? It's
very weird, Like your handwriting is fantastic.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
So what is he trying to say about mine? What?

Speaker 3 (02:20):
The handwriting doesn't look perfect?

Speaker 4 (02:21):
It does, see, it looks like it was typed out
a handwriting objective.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
This is subjective.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
Come on your handwriting.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I deny leaving you a to do list on how
to stop being a loser. It sounds like things I
would say for sure.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
So it's just there's a random stranger walking around putting
cups all over my desk and writing on my to
do list. And also the name tag was on my
desk that you got your name was on my desk?

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Do you think I would be so stupid?

Speaker 4 (02:48):
Absolutely would your ding dong?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Wow, Okay, that's great. I don't even know what else
to say here.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh, really, Josh kind of name if he has a name,
if he has.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
This alleged name tag that was on your desk at
the scene of the alleged crime. Was there any other
name on that name tag?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
I could not see really time, Why would I need
to check the name tag?

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I don't know what if the name tag had Josh's
name on.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
It, it didn't, that's for sure.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
I can go in my trash and check it.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh, that'd be weird if you went in your trash
and checked it and Josh's name was on there, that'd
be crazy.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
I can personally guarantee you my name was not on there.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Oh, can you.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
Please, Andrew run and check that name tag right now.
You have a personal guarantee, personally guarante from Josh Kladny
Trump over here, and he's scuttling off there he goes,
so while he's gone.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Of course we did it.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
We came in on a weekend.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh and that setup was all done over the weekend.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, that's on Saturday.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
That took a lot of work. I'm like, what is
happening here? There's like fake animals under cups and stuff.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Do you know why we came in?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Why to p stop?

Speaker 1 (03:56):
We were wandering around like everywhere we walked foul and
thousands of steps. I got almost twenty two thousand. Hi back,
this is the first.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
Time I'm seeing this is a live reaction to the
name reveal.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Josh said his name will not be on there.

Speaker 4 (04:11):
Made of Gandhi weird contact Josh Colodney.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
It was me along, talk about it? Who done it?
Did you like everything under cups?

Speaker 1 (04:27):
No?

Speaker 4 (04:27):
I didn't. Actually you put everything under a cup and
I had to clean it up this morning and then
see her stupid little to do list. Because that is
your handwriting. I know what his handwriting looks like.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Caligripy expert.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
I know.

Speaker 4 (04:41):
So you're saying you don't know what my handwriting looks like.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
No, honestly, I really don't.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Was that your handwriting above the alleged loserless?

Speaker 4 (04:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yeah, now I know what your hand writing was.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
Yeah, it's scripply. I don't have the best handwriting.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, that's fine. I'll tell you this though. So I
was just saying to Diamond, were running around the city
and had I had a really fun day on Saturday,
but we really had to pee. And there's nowhere that's
going to let you into pee in this city, and
if they do, who wants to go there? So we
actually came to work just to pee, and then as
we were walking past your desk. We were like, eyah,

(05:13):
we should probably fuck this up.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
Great, love it, Thank you so much. You know what.
It's nice to be thought of.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Josh said his signature. You would have known that it
was him because he pulled off your stupid orange keys
and he's like, oh, I hate these. He'll know it's me.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
Well, she hates them too.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
Dumbest keyboard ever.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
It's a nice keyboard.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
It's so loud for no reason.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
You're not even.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
There half the time to listen to it.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
I can hear it in here in a sound.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
Okay, okay, some bullshit.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
Like a travel agent when you're typing on that.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Literally, I love it.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
He lives for it.

Speaker 4 (05:44):
Also, I'd like to say I also had a bathroom
incident and had come to work once. What happened I
was It was Casey Musgraves. I was with my friend Miranda.
I had chicken vindaloo the night before. Oh it was
not great. I had gastro intestinal to stress. This is
when we were still downtown. Wait, oh it was bad.
The train was packed, couldn't get in there. And then

(06:05):
I'm like, oh god, oh God, like the stomach it's
not working. Something's bad, like it's it's about to go down.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Haven't you had a couple of moments of gastric distress?
Like didn't you pee outside of a building in Jersey City?
And like an apartment complex behind a dumpster? Wasn't that you?

Speaker 3 (06:20):
It's like several times, yeah, oh that's not it either
Carolina Reaper, Oh God, the Carolina Reaper incident. Oh God,
dopping in a car to drive seven hours. He orders tacos,
oh Carolina or Reaper sauce on them.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
Oh Andrew, the biggest mistake of my entire life.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
He'd never heard of it, Like, he was like Carolina Reaper.
It had like a ten out of ten in terms
like either there was a childhood like child symbols like
this is the hottest thing on the men you don't
order it?

Speaker 4 (06:47):
And I was like sh bit And then I got it.
And then the next morning, when we were driving, we
had to go to this rest stop and I remember
it vividly to this day. It was in like a
gas station, but it was like a Jankeity gas station,
and it didn't have a lock on the door. So
then I legit was like fire was coming out of
my asshole and my foot was on the door, so
I'm like straight out losing my bowels on this toilet.

(07:11):
I will never forget that moment, the worst shit of my.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Life, Andrew will Smith.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
Can I just say it was bad? It was so bad.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
You guys give me shit all the time for talking
about my farts and like shitting. Andrew has talked more
about shitting in the past three months than I have
in the past year. I just have to put it
out there.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
What did I one with the other time? Exactly?

Speaker 5 (07:37):
Like no, it was like the last episode of Defense Rests,
all right, nailed at that lock?

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Sure, are you done? Are you done?

Speaker 4 (07:48):
The Defense Rests.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
I always wonder how when you walk into a bathroom
sometimes you see a scene that you're like, how the
hell on earth could a human being ever do this?
When you just demonstrated how you had one leg on
the door while you were trying to get the hot
lava from your button into the toilet, I could see
how a scene would have been created.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
It was so bad. I mean I would not ever
leave a mess. I would say that much like I
think that is completely disrespectful, Like no janitor should have
to clean up your mess.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
That's ever flush immediately? Yes, as soon as that hits water.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Are we gonna talk about poop and water? Josh? What
you showed me a photo this weekend of a poop
not in water.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Issue.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
That was a whole other issue.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Not you're gonna show anyone else the photo?

Speaker 4 (08:34):
What do not throw up?

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Do not throw up?

Speaker 4 (08:38):
Because then I can't look at it.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
I will say this much. It was green? No, no,
you saw it.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
I said it too on me too.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
I was not I was not prepared. I didn't even
know what I was going to be looking at. But
we were talking about his diet and how he's been
working out and he's in great shape, and his trainer
has been really incur empt to eat nothing but beans.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Oh yeah, bean trainer.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
And then he was like, look at this, and I
saw diamond.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
It's a it's a it's a it's an ick pick.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
No. No, no, no, no, no, you should trade more.
Come on, he did.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
He sprung an neck pick on me. I was not prepared.
I didn't ask for it. It was unsolicited.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Him and Tommy do that all the time in our
group chat.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
Why didn't you send that one of the group chat?

Speaker 4 (09:26):
I did go and then he sent the kermit the
frog means saying it's not easy being green.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
So he shows it to me, and the first thing
I said is, Josh, why is there in a water?

Speaker 3 (09:39):
You have to learn that my toilet was closed because
I had flushed paper towels down it because I was
cleaning my window so my window could fully close. Because
I had a giant ass fly in my the size
like a bumblebee flying around. It was like the window
off top was letting in bugs. And so this was
my Saturday.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
Chaos.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yeah, He's like, so I flushed all these paper towels
down the toilet and then the water didn't really come
back up, and then I really had to go, and
I was like, so we just went. He rolled the
dice and flushed the toilet and the water roasted.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
Two weeks ago with the big ship in the toilet. Yeah,
that was It wasn't green, thank god, but yeah it
was and it was embarrassing. I had to call my mom, what.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Did I do.

Speaker 4 (10:35):
The toilet?

Speaker 2 (10:36):
But it's not the first time that I've done that.
I did that at my friend's house when I was
in like third grade.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
That's something that will stick with you forever.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
It was I could see it right now.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Did it overflow?

Speaker 2 (10:44):
It overflowed? There was ship smeared on the actual top
of the toilet seat, yeah, which I don't know.

Speaker 4 (10:54):
Ye was sleepover.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
No, it's just we're hanging out.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
I gotta go home now.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
I went home immediately afterward. I was like, I have
to go. While they were still like doing stuff too.
I was like, I gotta go. Yes, it smelled horrible,
so bad.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
Are you still friends with that girl?

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yes? But like her grandmother still lives two doors down
for me, so I see her all the time.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Never bring it up every day.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Never toilet with your poo. I've never I don't think.
I don't think I've ever been back inside the house.
Since then, I deal with embarrassment in a very weird way.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Dead yourself to people. Yeah, I feel like you never again?

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yeah, no, let that go.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
No, you should be My parents should be ashamed for
the way that I left those people's bathroom. It was bad,
it was bad, It's terrible.

Speaker 4 (11:48):
There was a plumber needed.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
I wouldn't know because I left while they were still
using the plunger. I was like, I gotta go, ran home.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Clearly I'm in gastric distress.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
It was bad distress. It's a real It's occurred to
me several times. Get chicken windaloo again, still in the
chicken Mindalu, I actually did have it again, just like.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
In The Sopranos, that whole two episodes. No, nobody remembers this.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
No, I think you're the only person that's watched it
multiple times.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Amazing show. Have you watched it multiple times? Josh?

Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
Josh also watches The Wire like every other day, so
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
Oh so you're referencing two amazing television shows that I watch.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Thank you, And I'm suppos to beel bad about this.
But all this poop conversation was a really good segue
into what I wanted to talk to everyone about today,
which is why are you all single?

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Oh boy?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
You loaded questions? No I get so.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
I get asked things about the three of you constantly,
and I'll answer any questions.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
You guys have too.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
But I thought, hey, let's let's get down to it.
Brass tacks, baby, let's talk turkey. Let's start with diamond.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah, sure, very simple. I don't like people if I'm
not feeling it within the first like couple of texts
or whatever. If we're on the apps and it's like
a few lines that I send and they send a
few back. If I'm not feeling it, I'm not gonna
waste your time and I'm not going to allow you
to waste mine. So it's like, eh, okay, next, But
I don't know. At some point I should like someone,

(13:14):
But don't you think.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
It's a fair assessment to judge someone off of a
few lines on a dating app. Yes, I feel like
it's not necessarily your best foot for me.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
I get it. But also, if you can't keep my
attention enough, like say we start texting, if you can't
keep my attention enough to like have an actual conversation
with banter via text, I'm not wasting my time on
the phone with you because if I don't like you
via text, why would I like you on the phone.
And I'm definitely not gonna because different things. No, I

(13:42):
need to know that you have something like, let's keep
a conversation going at least a little bit. I don't
think you guys understand these people are weird online people
are psycho Okay.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
But okay, so I submit, and please gentlemen jump in
at any point, I think some of the coolest people
I know are not on social media. Yeah, I don't
know how to operate any of it. They are just
kind of like alien people that exist, being cool and
living their real lives. I'm not sure how great of
texts they actually are when I think about it, They're
not that great of textures. But would they be a
solid significant other for sure?

Speaker 2 (14:13):
I think they would be.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
But you're cutting all these people out for that reason.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
Also, you can't like experience like a nice smile through
text message or you know, like just body language stuff
that you probably would really appreciate in person. Yeah, you
never even get like giving your self the chance to experience.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Pharamides are real.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
But I just feel like, especially as a woman, I'm
not going to just like meet up with someone who
I don't really know like that, or like I haven't
I haven't had a real conversation with you, and I'm
going to say, yeah, meet me here at eight o'clock. Uh,
it's not happening.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
I need more on social media, say like, don't small
talk with me, just ask me out like some girls, well.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Some people like that, but I'm not going to waste
my time and go out with someone and then sit
there like, Okay, how do I get myself out of here?
Hate that? That is a worse healthy day.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
And you can claim gastric distress.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
Well, But I'm also I'm not going to meet up
with you if you're not keeping my attention via text?

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Okay, yeah enough, So that is why you're single?

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Only that? No, I'm pretty sure there are other things.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
I'll let you think about it, Andrew.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
I'm emotionally unavailable, without a doubt. I do not prioritize
that in any way, shape or form, and it's my
fault entirely. I prioritize work life balance. I don't prioritize
a work life balance. You don't by any means, And
it's to my own detriment all day. I fake work
all day. I'm sorry, completely have I just don't have

(15:51):
a balance, and it's my fault entirely, and so I
need to create that healthy boundary to be able to
have time to end that part of my life. It's
my fault.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
I don't agree. Oh, you're out with your friends all
the time.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
Yeah, again, but it's like I'm not. I don't prioritize it.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
So are you not the person coming up with the
plans in your friend group.

Speaker 4 (16:15):
Most of the times. Yes, but again, like a friend
plan is different than like a date, and you got
to like actively do that. It's like a whole other thing.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
And it's just like it's.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Such as a mental preparation that it takes to meet
a new person, do the little interview thing, maybe hold
a hand or kill someone whatever. You just you're not
about that life. You don't feel like doing it right now?

Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, not right now, Like maybe a lot of anxiety
that you don't need right now.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
Yeah, I get it enough.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
Maybe maybe that's it till you just don't feel like it.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
Not great now, But I think I would like too soon.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Oh not soon?

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Wow, giving himself a timeline.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
I'm not a timeline. I just think it's like I've
never been the most confident person, So making myself more
confident to be able to not be so anxious and
just go do it again would be nice.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
I hate to say this because it's gonna be nice
to you, but I think you're an amazing person and
you will be an amazing partner to whomever you decide
to date. Somebody's gonna be super lucky.

Speaker 3 (17:11):
Husband, material.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, here we go.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
I will marry you for tax purposes in like ten
years if I'm still, you know, doing whatever I'm doing.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Thank you, like yeah, pictures with all your god children
like you're gonna you'd be a good father. Yeah, yeah, thoughtful,
you have emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
You my great hair.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
You're ugly, but.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Doshi had to bring them back to arth and I appreciate.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
That smile, great hair, got that Greek yeah, fake Italian
thing going on so much.

Speaker 4 (17:39):
Yeah, I just gotta stop picking my face because as
of late, that's where the anxiety is going to stop.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Picking your face.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
You have great skin, though, I.

Speaker 4 (17:44):
Feel that's where my anxiety usually goes. It's either my
cuticles or my face, and lately it's been the face.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
We've noticed, we've been talking about it.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
No, for sure, it's not great.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
I can see you chewing on your fingers a lot,
now that you mentioned.

Speaker 4 (17:57):
I don't my fingers. I just pick at my cutic. Okay,
that's bad, but.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
You're touching everything.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Andrew would not make a good husband. And first of all,
ten years if we're not married first then.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
And that's fine. I was gonna go Josh anyway.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
So now, Andrew does not. He checks out sometimes, and
I think that when you are a husband or a
boyfriend or a significant other, you cannot do that to
your person.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
This is also coming from the person who cuts people
off after a text message.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh they're fighting, like a married couple into it.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
If we're talking to each other. I want to feel
seen and heard by my person. Andrew doesn't do that.
So ladies, remember that you Andrew. I walk over to
you all the time and I'm like, hey, can we
blah blah blah as he types on his phone and
then he goes, wait.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
What so, just so you know, I'm texting, and then
you come over, you pick and then go what did
I say? You saw me texting? Why are you talking?

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Then I see valid points here.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
My soulmate would never He would stop what he was
doing immediately to listen to the love of his life.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
And now we have Joshua. Josh, way do you think
you're single?

Speaker 2 (19:08):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (19:09):
My god, where do I start? I would say, Diamond,
She's just like says like she doesn't like people. I'd say,
I probably like too many people.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
My favorite things about you, Josh.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
And right now I'm just living my best life. I
feel in terms of like New York City. Like an
example would be this weekend just going out and experiencing
the city, Like that's something more fun to do, not attached. Well,
I mean it's there's both sides of it, but right
now I'm just enjoying the I guess being single.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
And so we're in our whole face? Is that what
we would say?

Speaker 3 (19:45):
No, I wouldn't say like that much like I'd say
I like you wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
He just starts laughing at himself. That was like, actually
like lighth lighthoe, but like Hussey.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
You know, smart ho too, Like I'm not making the
worst decisions.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
You don't have to be dumb to be a hoe.
Not every home is a dumb hub.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
I mean, I'm vetting my hohe decisions maybe properly.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
Oh, I love that. So we have hates people, emotionally unavailable,
likes people too much. Those are the reasons why I
heard it. Okay, that's fair enough. Wait, I wrote down
the questions that this one was great, and I would
like to have some follow up as to why this
person's asking. But they said, have any of you ever

(20:30):
hooked up with each other?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Hard? No, hard no, No, that is a no.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
I think that is a No. I'm thinking really hard
before I say this for all of us with the
show in general.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Correct. There's a lot of rumors out there. None of
them are true. No, it's not true. Don't believe anything
you hear about Scotti. B you're all laughing. It was
the pain of my existence in the summer of twenty twenty.
That's all I'm gonna say.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Wow, it's funny now. It wasn't funny, though, Paine.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Of my existence.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
This.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Nobody has to answer this if they don't want to.
When is the last time you had sex? Do we
know the person?

Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah? Yeah? Oh, okay, yeah, yep, twenty twenty three, okay
for twenty three, twenty twenty three. I've been on dates.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
But no, but you're not banging it out.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
No, good for you, cheers, Andrew.

Speaker 4 (21:26):
It's been a minute. It was twenty nineteen.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
And you're not on a capital like that.

Speaker 4 (21:33):
It's yeah again, emotionally unavailable. Not great, not great?

Speaker 2 (21:40):
You are yeah great.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
I feel like for all intents and purposes, that makes
you a virgin again, doesn't it?

Speaker 3 (21:47):
Like?

Speaker 1 (21:47):
How long do you have to go without having sex? Diamond?

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Maybe you two? Yeah, I don't have sex unless I
really like somebody. So I'm used to this, what is it?
I'm not new to this. I'm true to this.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
Okay, Yeah, yeah, I like the person. Then I got
over it really quick and then I was like, I
think I would like to end this by.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh my gosh, wait and it was fine. Was she upset?

Speaker 2 (22:07):
No?

Speaker 4 (22:08):
That was when?

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Is this the one that wanted like move in immediately?

Speaker 4 (22:11):
And then I called an uber after I broke up
with her in person?

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Did you send her in the uber?

Speaker 4 (22:16):
Yeah? It was at my apartment and.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
You were like, off you go, your car's outside.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
Yeah, it's like sorry.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
If she wanted to move in, you must have really.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
Dazzling dick over there. Can we start calling answer the dazzler?

Speaker 4 (22:35):
I also think it comes from me again when I
do like somebody, I'm like, oh, this is easy, great,
let's this just works. And then I think I moved
to your point and you've said this before at lesbian
speed or I'm just like this is easy, just go.
It's my fault entirely.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Okay, And she was like, yes, I see your speed
and I'll match you. And you were like, oh, on
second thoughts, get an uber?

Speaker 5 (22:56):
Yeah okay, and now it's been six years, so there
we go.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
Is she like married? No?

Speaker 4 (23:05):
No, I haven't checked anything.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
Didn't you block her? Uh?

Speaker 4 (23:10):
Not block? I would never block.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
That's childish sometimes it is childish sometimes, But I've been
blocked by xes and I've never blocked anybody but my ex,
my last ex, my most recent. He has me blocked
like everywhere you could block a person, and I'm just
not sure why.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
I guess mentally it's a it's it's a defense mechanism
to maybe not have to see the person.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Well, I'm on the radio in your hometown. It's not
that easy.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
That's actually the best I ever heard.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
I thought that when I moved here. I was like, oh,
this is gonna be really bad for him. But I'm blocked,
so maybe he forgot my voice. Who's to say, Josh,
you don't have to answer the question if you don't
want answer it.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
Friday next question.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
I knew that answer.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
But and you guys are again You're welcome to ask
any questions you want to ask about anything. Please, it's
not it's not all me. I just fun.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
You want people to you want to answer the question, Oh.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
That question, I couldn't even tell you. I don't know.
I mean it would be months.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
True, Yeah, it's been a long time bummer indeed, Josh, Indeed, Oh,
what is it that you're looking for in a significant other?
People are trying to date you, guys. I'm just saying,
here we go.

Speaker 4 (24:29):
I think I need someone with a good sense of
humor and can also blend in well with different friend groups.
I've said this before, but I don't want somebody that's
going to be attached at the hip. Whenever you are
in a social situation, nothing annoys me more. Go be
your own person, Go make your own friends, Go do
your own thing. Don't be looking at me to be
your social guide. Hate that load that. Go be your

(24:50):
own person.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
Big feelings. I appreciate. That's actually a really big deal
to me too. Yeah, I understand that. I don't want
to feel like I have to babysit somebody hating. We
go places and like, oh they're not having a well,
then I guess we're not having.

Speaker 4 (25:01):
A game, and then it changes the whole mood because
they're not having good time.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
No.

Speaker 4 (25:04):
Yeah, I don't want that.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
No fun, no good Josh. I'm so mad that your
face is not visible at this moment because you just
looked insane. Why are you so stressed out?

Speaker 3 (25:17):
But I don't know, I got do you want to go?
I have to come up with an answer.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
I yeah, I kind of A priority for me is
someone who like would get along with my family.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Oh it's a huge one, of course.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah. But like before, I'm like, oh, someone who is
family oriented but is like far away from their family,
so we don't have to worry about like whose family
are you going to hang out with? But just because
you're family oriented doesn't mean that you get along with
my family. So I think that has to go to
the top of my list these days. You kind of

(25:54):
have to be not kind of You have to be funny.
You have to be able to take a joke, because
a lot of people can't do that anymore. I'm trying
to You have to have a job.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Are you still so seeking out your super wealthy man?

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Uh? Financially responsible? Okay, yes, I would love that. Yeah,
thank you.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
They all seem like they'd be really insufferable. No, you
never know, I don't you never know making a broad generalization.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Andrew's fun he's not family.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
Yeah, don't have yachts.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
I't you guys rent them out. I always forget this.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
You always say this, and it's not a thing, and
it becomes a thing you wish.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
You used to go on random Sunday trips to watch
the Cowboys play on a PJ.

Speaker 5 (26:42):
There are photos of you that jet. Actually it wasn't
even as a child jet friends had a plane.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
His dad is smart, like they say, like, don't own
the boat. Have friends that own the boat, thank you,
And he happens to have several friends that own Yes,
he does boats.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah, but here's the thing. Poor people don't have friends
that don't but thank you. It's all people have friends
who home both.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (27:07):
You know what I'm going to go with the preacher response,
I live a blessed live.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yes you live.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
I'm very blessed. And so I'll say that Josh back to.

Speaker 3 (27:16):
You, Okay, I would say, all right. I would say
one thing would be someone that has a job that
they love like and kind of like is an interesting
job like ours is? So like you're not too invested
in what I have going on, and you kind of
have your own thing and kind of like, I don't know,
volley off each other like that. Maybe does that make sense? Yeah,

(27:38):
all right, And then the other thing would be maybe
like my next step in life plan, we would probably
have to be on the same page about and like
I consider that like the exit maybe the exit New
York strategy is I'm not saying it's like I see
myself being here for at least another decade, but like
I would think we'd want to be like maybe thinking

(27:59):
about that, like are we moving upstate? We have no
small apartment in the city, and like splitting time between locations,
like what are we doing? What's our like what's what's
after New York? Because I don't think I'm being able
to afford it forever.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
Oh my god. Whenever I see an incredibly old person
walking around the streets of Manhattan, I'm like, oh my god,
we need to save you. You should not be here.
This is not a place for you. There are too
many stairs, people are walking too fast. It's expensive as shit.

Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, I was. I was down the shore this weekend too,
and all these like huge houses and then we went
to this brunch and it was just it was like
a geriatric home. And I'm like, all of you guys
own all of these houses, And then I'm never going
to be able to afford any of these houses, Like
why you're building these like mausoleums for yourself? That's it.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
Oh, we were coming at it from two totally different angles.
I was just thinking I felt bad for the old people.

Speaker 4 (28:52):
Oh you know, I was saying. I was saying maybe, yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
No Andrews, like if only they'd hurry up and die.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
And there's so many stairs.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
Why should you're right?

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Why why should we feel bad for rich old people?

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Have you ever heard Casey Musgraves only millionaire?

Speaker 2 (29:11):
I don't want to hear anything from Casey Musgraves in
twenty twenty four Underrated Jam such a jam.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
Who wants to he wants to be a lonely millionaire?

Speaker 2 (29:21):
Not me. I'll never forget. Are you kidding?

Speaker 3 (29:24):
Be careful what you wish for?

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Okay, fine, di'mon whatever. One day you're going to hear
Casey Musgraves and we're not going to be talking about her,
and you'll think, oh my god, what a bop, And
then you'll look and it'll be Casey and you'll be
on the other side.

Speaker 4 (29:36):
She likes someone that I personally.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Don't do it, not here and not now.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
They don't do it. Do it?

Speaker 1 (29:42):
It's air it out.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
I sometimes think, I don't know, go ahead, go ahead,
Like you're a white mother that chops.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
At target target, So maybe where are you talking? Who
is Okay? You guess based off of that.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
I mean, I know you love Ariana Grande.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
I love her, but she's fine.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Give me, give me a decade, barely any of the
decades really.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
Wow, wow decade the last decade I had.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
I have no idea make a Trainer. Oh, I love her.
I love her first of all, Who do you know?

Speaker 4 (30:25):
I can't?

Speaker 2 (30:26):
Right? He thinks it's so funny. The first song that
she released was about not being a skinny bitch in society,
and I love that for her and people like me.
She's she's not once you had that, once you had
that thicker build, it never goes away. Okay, she's skinnier,

(30:48):
but she's not like a skinny, skinny woman. Listen to
her lyrics. She makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
If you met a man who liked Megan Trainer as
much as you, is that a right fle Absolutely?

Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm sorry. No, I expect for a man to like
look at me like, what the fuck is this? If
I turn it on?

Speaker 1 (31:08):
But if you started singing along you'd be like.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Honey, oh no, you got to go like.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Are you kidding all about that bass? If they were
singing that? Do you say, Trevor, it's trouble. I said, no, Trevor,
come on, what.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
Should your boyfriend be listening to?

Speaker 2 (31:28):
I love a little hood guy.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
I know what you're about to say.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
You love a little what? Nothing? So I love a guy, don't.
Josh has no clue?

Speaker 3 (31:41):
What have no idea?

Speaker 1 (31:42):
What she said?

Speaker 2 (31:42):
I love a hood and herself.

Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yes, no, no, not, Lord Josh, use the ninja emoji instead.
I love a hood ninja all right, Josh.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Oh god, Joshua, please for us fights.

Speaker 4 (32:01):
It's the Boltimore work.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
So I love a guy who like maybe he has
like a friend in jail or something like that, but
he's the one who like went to college, and it's like,
you know, an upstanding citizen, but he was close enough
maybe a cousin. Maybe a cousin.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
His cousin's in jail. Maybe this is giving medea like
Media's family union.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
No, it's just like you need to be hood adjacent.
You gotta get it, you know what I mean? Okay, yeah,
but I'm done with the hood boogers phase of my life.
I can't.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
So when you think about that was probably my favorite
phase of my life. When you think of when you
think about like a celebrity that you're like, oh, yeah,
that guy, I don't.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Have one anymore.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
What if he did go to jail but he has
a trust fund?

Speaker 1 (32:46):
Hey, honey, it's my color crime. That's terrible.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
No, but I'll take it camp.

Speaker 4 (32:51):
At that point, you're going to camp, you got bunk bands.
It's a large open.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
Probably in shape, but come on, you probably fucked over
way more people than the guy who like robbed it
can be still in Okay, Sorry, yes, I see who
the president is. You're right, nothing matters anymore to jail.
He didn't you have Trump? What is it?

Speaker 4 (33:14):
Trump derangement syndrome?

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Derangements?

Speaker 4 (33:17):
I wish I could cure it.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Okay, Andrew, So Diamond gave us some green flags that
she's interested in a person was a green green flag
for you.

Speaker 4 (33:26):
I think having a good sense of humor, being able
to go along with jokes, not taking yourself too seriously.
I hate people that take themselves too seriously. Don't because
I know I don't. Everyone always comes at me with jokes.
So I want someone like that.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Not super invested in social media.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
Maybe that's another one.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
That's a good one, Like you can.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
Be on it, but don't make it your personality.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Do you know what I think is a huge red
flag Guys who are influencers. I don't know why it
bothers me so much more than female influencers influencers. I'm like,
what are you doing? Like recently, the guy who did
the get Ready with Me in the morning thing, he
starts off allegedly at like three point thirty in the morning,
some ungodly hour. He gets up, he washes his face
in this amazing, beautiful like penthouse wherever the hell.

Speaker 4 (34:13):
He is, and we know it's rented.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Probably there wasn't a lot of There wasn't a lot
of like personality in it. He does like push up
set ups, he does all this stuff. He gives himself
a cold water facial where he just dunks his face
and ice, and all I could think the entire time
was this man took a camera and set it up
for every single one of these activities, hit record, then
took that camera down, moved it to a new location,

(34:37):
repeated the act, and then edited it together. For this
I hate hims are shriveling thinking about it.

Speaker 4 (34:43):
When he says in the hot tub too, and you
see the person like cleaning the pool there like sprawled out,
like what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (34:50):
And it's only five thirty eight? Yeah, right right, No,
just the amount of time it would take you to
edit all these videos. I was very upset by it.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
I hated it.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yeah, I thought it was a little sassy for me.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Did you hear about the fact that he was evicted
after the video was posted?

Speaker 4 (35:03):
Why because he was squatting?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
He wasn't. Why else would you get evicted? Andrew use
your head for more than a hat rack.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
So I was right, Okay, God's connected?

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Cool?

Speaker 1 (35:26):
So okay, opposite side of the green flag, red flag.
This is an absolute hell, no get away from me.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Oh an atheist. Oh, there's a difference between an atheist
and what is the other term agnostic. For you to
say like you're for you to spend a lot of
time trying to prove that there is no God honestly
means that you do think that there is a God,
but you're just trying to prove that it isn't. I'd
rather you just say I'm not sure, you.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Know, I know a few atheists, but they don't spend
a lot of time trying to convince other people that
they don't believe. They're just like, oh, I don't believe.
They say it in the opposite direction a lot with
a lot of people trying to force them into believing.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
I mean, I guess I'm not a forcer. I'm not
a pusher.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
Is agnostic you believe like there's an entity, you just
don't know what the entity is.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, you have no idea what it is?

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Is that for sure? Agnostic is just like blanket, I
don't know, So therefore I'm not.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
Going to draw Oh that's what I thought it was too, because.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
I have a gnostic listed on my dating profile, and
maybe I shouldn't. I would say I don't. I would
lean towards no, but I don't know. And like just
the way we're getting new information on like space and
the universe like every day, it's like, how could anyone
actually be that confident to say they're an atheist? And

(36:44):
I would never jump that far. So like agnostic is
like the safe middle kind of.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Yeah, you guys are right. A person who believes nothing
is known or can be known in the existence of
nature or God or of anything beyond material phenomena a
person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God. So
then I guess spiritual would be I believe in something,
I just don't know what it is.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
I think I'm more on the spiritual side.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
What would you say the difference is, Well.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
Because they're saying I don't know one way or another,
I'm saying I'm pretty sure there's something. I just am
not going to ever subscribe to one religion that I
think got it right, whatever that was. And I also
don't think that whatever God is is watching us and
judging us and spiteful or cheering us on. I think
there's just something bigger than us, but I don't know

(37:31):
what it is.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
I like that. I think I'm the same way. I
don't want to say like I think it's vague, But
at the same time, I think there are signs of
things that I believe I don't know adds up to
something bigger. It doesn't necessarily maybe fall under one religion.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
Yeah, I just know it can't be us. This can't
be where the buck stops. Whatever is more powerful than us, whatever.
I feel like, maybe we are really a little ant
farm for something else bigger than us, greater than us.
Maybe we're just the mites on the lashes of something
so enormous that we can't even process it.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Whatever that is.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah, this ain't it. It does not stop with humans
because we're trash.

Speaker 4 (38:07):
When did you have that realization as a kid and
how did it affect you? Because I remember vividly sitting
on my couch and being like, oh God, the universe
is so huge and then everyone's going to die and
then where do you go when you die? And I
just remember having our full on spiral. I think it
was an exception.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
I would say I was in sixth grade in the Bahamas, weirdly,
and I just remember hitting me like a wave, just
that Wow, everyone you will ever meet, everyone you love,
is going to die and then what what is that?
And I was kind of shaken that I don't believe

(38:43):
anything anybody's saying. You could tell me what you think,
but I was definitely that kid that was like, well,
why how do you know?

Speaker 4 (38:49):
I see that?

Speaker 1 (38:50):
What's going on?

Speaker 4 (38:51):
Yeah? You would have done great in Catholic school.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
A lot of questions, sister and I got kicked out
of a Sunday school class. We went with one of
our friends and my sister asked the question, which I
felt was very reasonable. They were doing the whole. You know,
Eve was made from the rib of Adam. Yeah, and
is kind of this like supplement to man woman? Is
you know, like the whatever? And my sister said, there

(39:14):
was so much dust and dirt around why didn't they
just make another one? Why did they have to take
the rib? And we were asked to leave.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
Oh wow, that's sick.

Speaker 1 (39:22):
That so turn me on Catholicism.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
But that's why people stray away from like the church
as a whole, because you should be able to answer
those questions if you feel like you know enough to
teach a damn Sunday school class.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
Wasn't the debate over too? Like? It's not meant to
be taken literally, right, These are parables.

Speaker 4 (39:39):
Some people take it literally.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
People very literally, right, And they're psychotic, right, they are
fundamentalists right, like scary shit, yes.

Speaker 4 (39:49):
Like the earth is only two thousand years old, right,
like dinosaurs existed at the same time as Jesus.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Do not mention dinosaurs in this room?

Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yeah, there we go, here we go. Just call me dinoh.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Girl, D and D babes. Yeah, and I also think
that also with Hinduism, which I do kind of appreciate.
They call all of the stories Hindu mythology, because it's
known mythology. Everything represents something else. It's not like there
was actually an elephant with multiple arms, the head of

(40:21):
an elephant and the body of a human. We don't
really believe that, at least most of us don't really
believe that. I can't speak for everybody. There's a lot
of Hindus out there. Some of the newer religions they
really buy the shit hook lind and sinker, which is
complicated quite a lot.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
Yeah, I don't think the one god thing always really
kind of confuses me because it's like, yes, you could
have one at the top, but I also don't. I
don't know, like I like Greek mythology where it's like,
ooh fun, look at all these gods and all this stuff,
like Shintoism with all the different types of gods that
all do the things like there's a god of wind,
there's a god of the earth. There's I like that
that's way more fun.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Oh my god, just because it's fun.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
I just think that's what I torture did you not know.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
I just think that it's like, if you're nice to
the earth, it's nice back to you. Like that to
me is like a good theory belief.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
Like, and that's why I like having multiple things to
be like, Ooh, I'm nice to that, so it'll be
nice to be back.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Be a decent human beings. Maybe one of the theories is,
if God is all powerful, why could God not be
one entity when God wants to be or a million.
If that's what God wants to be, who's to say
that God can't.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
I completely agree with that, And I also just don't
buy the argument where it's like, oh, thank God, this
person got saved, and like an earthquake that kills like
a thousand people, They're like, but this mother was saved
with the baby. It's like, yeah, a thousand other people died.
So no, I were praising this as if it's a miracle.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
It is a miracle that a person lives.

Speaker 4 (41:51):
Ten thousand other people are dead.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
I would like to I would like to think that
it was a marathon a miracle if everybody in this
room died and I survived, even though I was in
a situation that could have taken my life. It would
be very easy for you to be like, it's a
miracle this person lived. I don't know. I'm not telling
you to drop down on your knees and say that
God did it, but you would say I get.

Speaker 4 (42:11):
It, like appreciate it. You lived for some random chance.
But I just think calling it like a miracle, like
all saints to be. In order to be a saint,
you have to perform a miracle. I feel like in
today's day and age, it's really hard to be like
to perform a miracle and nobody videoed it, nobody recorded it.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
Like the patron saint of the Internet. Like again, it's
the church, so they're very behind on all the technology
pretty much. So they're like, oh, it's the patron saint
of the Internet. Did he send out a go Fundme
link without his miracle? It's like, you raised so much
money through the power of the internet. Okay, I send
a go funding link, make me a saint. I'm just
saying valid argument.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
You would love that so much? Wouldn't you become a saint?

Speaker 1 (42:49):
Andrew love that?

Speaker 3 (42:52):
You would love that? Think you are one?

Speaker 4 (42:55):
Here we go.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
He acts like it. He acts like a martyr at
the very least, wow or victim. I question, though, for
all of you and Diamond specifically, what is the difference
between a miracle and an accident or a coincident? And
what if death is so much better than here and

(43:16):
you're the one that gets left behind on this ghetto
ass planet and everyone else is just like off and
living their life, is that still a miracle?

Speaker 2 (43:22):
You would think it's a mirable miracle because you're still here, right, Like,
we don't know what is on the other side, right So,
Like if.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
All my friends and family got devastated by a flood
and I was the only one left behind, I'd be
pretty fucking mad, Like I'm here by.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
Myself that show. If everybody got raptured and I'm here
with like half the population left, I'd be like, what
the hell?

Speaker 1 (43:45):
Why can't I get Why can't I get the fast
past of somewhere?

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Fund? But what if it's not fun?

Speaker 1 (43:51):
But what if it is? That goes back to the
whole agnostic thing, right, True, we don't know. All I
know is I know nothing at all? Also, I don't
ever like to argue religion with people or faith with people,
because I think people need that for whatever reason they
need it. And if somebody has it and it's important
to them, all power to you.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
I think I can't argue with someone over their faith
unless it hurts somebody. Then it's like, let's back away
a little bit.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Well, I mean it is hurting the country. So there goes,
how do you? Okay?

Speaker 1 (44:16):
So what are you? What is your religion?

Speaker 2 (44:19):
I'm a Christian? Okay, that's just Christian, blanket.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Statement, blanket statement. Yeah, there's not like a sect of this.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
No, I'm non denominational at.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
This point, okay, non denominational Christian. As a non denominational Christian,
what is it like watching the way people are using
Christianity in the country right now?

Speaker 2 (44:38):
It's embarrassing, like to the point where I don't I
don't feel confident walking around saying that I'm like a
Christian because it to me, it's like my Christianity has
been used to harm people because of I don't want
to get too deep and like start calling people what
they are, but like Christianity itself has been used to

(45:01):
honestly marginalize Black people as a whole. Absolutely, it was
used in slavery, and I wish my people would understand that, right, So,
like I was always raised to have a personal relationship
with God rather than a relationship with the church, and
the church now and back then has been used to
control people. It's embarrassing and hurtful. You mean to tell

(45:22):
me that you think that because the Bible says that
being gay is a sin, that somebody should die or
live a no unhappy life because they're gay. That doesn't
make any sense. Like there were clearly men who liked
men and women who liked women back in biblical times,
because if it never happened back then, then why would
they be talking about it. So for you, let's say,

(45:44):
a pastor of a church to shun gay people for that,
when you're supposed to be preaching about God's love as
a whole and mimicking God, not the people in the Bible,
then are you really serving your purpose? No, I totally agree.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
I think religion in general is used to I mean,
as we all know, yeah, people, and the whole notion
of you have to have children, which is why a
lot of the homosexuality is so so taboo is because
then you're not making more babies. If you don't have
any children, you're kind of ungovernable. If I have kids,
I'm gonna be way less likely to do crazy things,

(46:17):
to be a revolutionary, to actually make a difference in
the world, because I have kids and I have to
take care of them and look out for them. What's
going to happen to them? And if I don't have
kids and I'm just recklessly doing whatever I want to,
you kind of become ungovernable. And I think it's really
funny when people push this child narrative so hard.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
Part of me thinks that's it, that makes sense, That.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
Does make a lot of sense. I also think people's
politics change completely after they have kids, Yes, and like
because now they have a plan, so like society has
to like stay how it is so their kids can
go to college or some bullshit.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Josh and I were having a lot of conversations about
kids over the weekend, just for multiple reasons. I would
love to know how you guys feel about this.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
Wait, what the thing you said really changed my opinion?
Like I didn't really look at it through that scope,
and it like really took a lot of like some
weight off my back and pressure. But you're like, who
do you know that? As kids? That's like completely happier.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
That's a life that you would want.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
To have to have or And it's like, huh, I
don't know if there are that many.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
And it's no shade to the people who have kids.
I'm not saying your lives look miserable. I'm saying that
lifestyle is not a lifestyle that I want to have.
That's all. Have your kids, knock yourselves out like it's
all good. But it started because we decided to go
out this weekend and have a wonderful time in the city.
And I hopped on the path and when we got
to the stop and Hoboken, which you know is chaotic

(47:37):
on a weekend heading into Central Park on the first
night's day of the year, the car was packed shoulder
to shoulder and here comes not one, but two people
with their strollers, not even folded up, baby in stroller,
pushing people out of the way. And one lady actually said,
people tend to get out of your way when you
have a stroller going right at their ankles, and I thought,

(47:58):
you asshole, Oh wow, just because you have kids doesn't
give you the right to be a dick to everybody
around you. I understand it's all consuming that is what
takes up every second of your life and your brain bandwidth,
whatever's going on. That's not my problem. You very easily
could have folded up that stroller, held your kid, and
got on to the train like a normal human being,

(48:19):
but you actively decided not to, And then you made
a statement about how you being an asshole was a
calculated thought because people were going to get out of
your way.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
Eh.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
If I would have my spray bottle, I would have
sprayed her and the kid. She yes, that would have
been my I go to have thrown my egg right
at her.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
I unpopular opinion. I think it'll be popular in this room.
I think that in order to have a child you
have to have a car. I don't think that. I don't.
I don't like I don't want to see kids on
the train. I don't want to see I've always felt
like this a pregnant woman. I was in high school.
A pregnant woman bumped into me on the bus on
a crowded bus and told me to watch her belly.
And I had had enough that day, and I told

(48:58):
her that she should have fucked a man with a car. Okay,
I don't, and I think about it all the time. No,
I do. I think about it all the time. It's
just a level of chaos that you shouldn't put You
shouldn't put yourself through it, and I shouldn't have to
deal with your bad decisions. Okay, So in my eyes,
until you can accord a vehicle and to get around

(49:19):
in that vehicle, you shouldn't be having kids in the city.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
I wish people had to take aptitude and parenting tests
to be able to have a kid. I have if
I want to foster a dog and then adopt the dog,
they come to your house to make sure that everything
is okay and that you are a responsible pet owner.
But anyone can just have a child. That's why.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
No, it's not crazy, and it's unfair. I shouldn't have
to deal with your decision to have a child if
I don't want to not.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
My argument legislative would be that, like what happens to
an emergency, you're gonna wait ten minutes for an uber
to get there, Like to take them to the hospital.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
You're gonna wait twenty minutes in a subway car down
the stairs, getting up the stairs.

Speaker 4 (49:52):
Good job, John, We're all going to be paying it.
All the single people without kids.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Yeah. Yeah, but also I shouldn't feel like I have
to help you bring that big ass stroller up and
down the steps of the subway, you feel no, oh no,
I walk right around. Excuse me, I'm sorry, No, no, no.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
I do it begrudgingly, like I made as much room
as I possibly could for this bitty with her stroller,
And in my head I was like.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
I hate you.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
I hate you so much. I hate you, and your
kid's probably gonna grow up to be an entitled asshole
like that too. Yae, terrible, no offense.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
I know some people who have fallen on hard times
and had to do what they had to do. But no,
and then who wants their kid on a dirty ash
train anyway to go see the city? I'm sorry, Central
Park is not that popping. So while we.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
Are banning children from the subway, can we just maybe
New York City in general? Yeah? Place, absolutely there are
sometimes for a reason.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Yeah, keep them the fuck out of here. Man on the.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
Subjects, I was just singing this over the weekend. People
that feed pigeons should be shot on the spot, on
the spot. It's over. Yeah, they fly because you're looking

(51:17):
for food. Terrible.

Speaker 4 (51:19):
I don't like birds. I learned this in the Atlantis
just recently. I don't like birds. I don't trust birds.
I thought it was just pelicans. It's all birds, all birds.
They get too close to your point. Why are you
feeding them?

Speaker 2 (51:31):
I know, just so?

Speaker 4 (51:33):
Why are you carrying breadcrumbs? Is this like the eighteen hundreds?

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (51:36):
Who would do that? That's weird.

Speaker 5 (51:37):
This guy this, she feeds the animals you can't have
in the past.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
I will not do it.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
First of all, they're not supposed to be fed. A
lot of the.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
Things I know, That's what I learned, and I don't
don't know.

Speaker 4 (51:50):
They're terrifying. I don't trust birds. I don't trust birds.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
One of these goddamn pigeons is going to hit me
in the head. I'm gonna get bird flu.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Yes, remember Sam got sick.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
She was so mad when you try to say it
was a pigeon.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
It was the pigeons.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
The first and last group trip that I've ever been
invited on. Okay, she decided it was da and Porto
Rico with her arms out with this pigeon man letting
pigeons land on her hand. It was so many of them,
and she was standing with and then she was sick
as a damn dog afterwards. Okay, it was the pigeons.

Speaker 4 (52:25):
Honestly, I think if I were like, if it was
a fear Factor challenge and you told me a box
of like snakes or like have the pigeons, well I
would pick the snakes.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:34):
I could not do it. I could not do it.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
I would like to defend him for one moment, because
she's not here. I don't agree with this statement. But
she says it was food boy, bullshit. It wasn't feather
dust in her mouth, which is what I thought it was.
Else Over, I have a video.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
I'm going to look slightly the.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Same thing with the pigeons. And I didn't get sick,
so I don't know. Maybe it was rats.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Disgusting. I remember feeling like looking at her while it
was happening, I was like, I don't think she should
be doing this.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
Well.

Speaker 4 (53:00):
My aunt had a bird, Tiky, and he sat in
the basement and I just remember teaky scary with the
big ass beak and it was like the red one
with the blue feathers. Dad parrot, Dad. Yeah, And let
me tell you something. He bit my uncle Josh all
the time, and they were like, Oh, Tiky didn't mean it.
Yeah he did, Yeah he did. Do you know Tiki's
mind personally that the bird wants to get out of

(53:21):
the cage. Why are you keeping it in the cage
with its giant beak letting it peck you. I don't
get it.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Birds our genius and they're calculated. I had a friend,
she had a bird named Barney. Barney would let you
know before he was gonna bite you. He would say
ouch because he was so used to hearing other people
say ouch before his a little last bitch you. He
would go ouch, and you get all the way because
he was coming for you. He was maniacal. And he
also used to call the dog. The dog's name was Moxy.

(53:47):
He'd be like Moxie, Moxie would come running. The fucking
bird would be like.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Laugh.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
It was the greatest thing ever. I think I learned
a lot from it.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
Sounds like you was a bird.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
I think it's great. I got attacked by a bird
at the Central Park zoo. Excuse me, Oh yeah, you
guys this brand and I just eating a bunch of mushrooms.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
We went to the zoo.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
He had on a bright red shirt and I had
on a pretty brightly colored shirt, and there was what
is it called, oh, Victorian crown pigeon, which is a
beautiful bird if you look it up. Bodies like the
size of a peacock's body, and it's got this really
pretty like head thing going like a crown. And I
was like, oh, look at that bird. Looks like it's
really high maintenance. That thing cocked its head to the

(54:30):
side and came flying out his talents out.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Nope.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Everybody screamed and hit the deck and I was so
fucked up. I stuck my arm out like fort to land.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
Oh God.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
And the next thing, you know, one of the little
keepers at the zoo was intercepting it like, no grabs
this thing. Brandon's on the ground and I looked at
him and I was like, well, you're useless. And his
answer was, you wanted me to punch an exotic bird?
Is that what you wanted to happen? Because I'm pretty
sure this was a loose lose situation.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
For me, and he was right, good answer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
I also learned Josh in an emergency situation, not great.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Uh, I solved the problem. We're talking about walking? Yes, yeah,
we were walking and we kind of like split to
go around a couple, and then once we got I
guess got to the other side of that, I looked
around and she was gone.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
I looked around and he was gone.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
And I was like, first of all, like high as
a kuting, you're like fucking stoned, and couldn't find her,
and then immediately just went to like, oh my god,
everyone's looking at me. So I just walked to a
bench and.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Said a response, everyone's looking at me. Bye, sit down.
I was standing there looking around, and I was like, Josh,
is way too big to have just gotten gone. Because
kidnap is real. You could get sex trafficked, you never know.
But I was looking around and I thought, this is insane.
He was next to me one second ago, a second ago,
he was right here. I was panicking. I'm like, Josh, Josh.

(55:55):
It didn't occur to me to pick up my phone
until I heard it ringing, and Josh was.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
Like, where were you when we got lost? At that
exact moment, I got a call from it, like a
number I didn't have. I was like, oh my god,
they took her for ransom. In entire scheme, it was
actually just Amazon stop. But then I called her and reconnected.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
I can't. It was.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
What was very shocking to me was in just seconds,
how far apart we got from each other, and how quickly,
Like I'm just I'm still. My mind is blown. I
used to always think, how do you lose someone? I
don't understand this. How can you lose someone? Oh no,
I know, yeah, just in half a second. Fam he's gone.
I thought, Oh he was in the drum line. He
went back to the drum line to dance with these people.
Or he's looking at this art he said he wanted

(56:45):
to get art, none of the above. I was just like,
this is crazy, my bench.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Another reason why you shouldn't take kids the city. Full circle, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
So true. Them all one, excuse me, call on security
and everything.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Where was she? I mean, obviously them all.

Speaker 4 (57:06):
I forget why.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
I got lost in an amusement park once.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Oh hell no, of course I was.

Speaker 4 (57:12):
I was like seven, No, that's so scared.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
I went in the bathroom and then I was like
with my stepmom's sister in law, who I had just
just kind of met, and I guess she was like
yelling for me to come out, but I was scared
of her. God, and I somehow got out of there
and just like went around the amusement park for like hours.
Then I found the other friends of the family started
going on rides with them, but they didn't there's no

(57:35):
cell phones, and they like no one knew, so they
thought I was gone.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
You took years off that woman's life. Years.

Speaker 4 (57:41):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
Every every get together she brings it.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
Up shoulder and then you tell her you did it
again recently?

Speaker 2 (57:50):
What what huh said?

Speaker 4 (57:54):
This time? In his older age now he would just
sit on the bench, was hide.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
In the racks like the little circular clothing. No, I
used to do all the time.

Speaker 3 (58:03):
What what aren't you supposed to do that? Stop and
stay exactly where you got lost?

Speaker 2 (58:08):
Yeah, I think technically yes, but nobody does.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
I always was told find a police officer, oh police information,
somebody with him.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
You don't know if they're actual police officers. These days, nowadays,
people just dress up as weird, especially not even public,
not even dress up ice raids apparently like this outfit.
Take you off to jail, and.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
I wind up in Venezuela.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
It's so crazy, we're all laughing, but it's so scary.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
It's been such a great episode. Thanks so much for
having its amazing.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
Okay, I people want to find you online to date you, gems,
where can they find you?

Speaker 3 (58:39):
I am at Coaster Boy Josh Josh, I'm at Andrew Pug.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
That's Andrew, and I'm at Diamond Sincere.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
That's Diamond, and I'm at Baby Hot Sauce probably still
a shadow band. It's been fun, guys. I hope we
come back again. Yeah, next week and the week after
and the week after. Not to get out of myself,
but you know, fun. Thanks for playing Casey, Bye bye