April 22, 2025 • 40 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Oliver explains Easter from the Big Girls perspective.. - What women say -vs- what they mean? - We’ve cracked the code!.. - Cadbury is partnered with Sherman Pratt for the Easter Egg Hunt.. - Robert Earl Keen swerves into your lane.. - To balance out things - we also delve into what Men say -vs- what they mean.. - Hoyt looks into Delberts butt deodorant - eww.. - and we’ll wrap up with a confusing Easter Sunday dilemma with Reverend Sincere and Goober…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning. The Big Show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boy and Billy and they're
big show. I like the way they talk. They're funny
ha haa not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I've figured out why John Boy has a hard time
getting started the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Ain't gotten the gaze, I mean.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
A co a doodle doo hoping at him. Read today,
Hey day, there's a big show on the radio. He's
heeing into your Monday here, wonderful Monday after Easter April
twenty first, twenty twenty five, you have a good Eastern
I had a wonderful, wonderful Easter ran So.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Did you get to hide your own eggs this year?
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Is that still a few years of it?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I'm still a few years off, lad boy good. I
think somebody is pilfering parts of my chocolate bunny. I
have to look into that's all right, very special Monday
show here on the Big On the Big Show, it's
all about communication and not ours. So as you can see,
(01:49):
we're just gonna eaze in and let's worry about our
part language labs is what we're talking about? What what
women mean? How you you wondered about that both of
your life? What women really mean?
Speaker 6 (02:06):
What do we really mean?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
John? What do we really reading? That tone right there?
Before the show's over?
Speaker 6 (02:13):
I'm fine, Thanks for asking.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
You don't know her?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And of course for you ladies show her on the
other gender? What make show believes there's only two genders?
Man and woman? You've got me there, We've got both, yeah,
full display. Look over here here up here, All right, Well,
(02:44):
let's get this shoe on the road. Let me right here,
y'all get on the road first, get up before you
get on the road, right, you know what you're gonna do?
Is you'r is your morning? Thank you for making that's
part of it. Unless you're listening to the podcast anywhere
in the world, it could be any day after this
moment in time, on this Monday morning, April twenty first.
(03:05):
That's kind of deep when you think about that, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
That's okay, John boy, I got it.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
What does she mean? We'll find out before the big
show is all right, we're awake. Big show's on a radio.
Good morning, got a big showing a radio first prize
pig out the dough one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bulls not cleaning products made in the USA. Our
truck drivers with a big show on a radio, keep
(03:32):
America move when you can find bulls snout a truck
stops across this great country of hours. Or click on
that punter when you hit the big show dot com
and a fun way to get you some Listen right
here for our three days in history where we got
our categories for outbirds. April twenty first, eighteen seventy eight,
(03:52):
the first firehouse poll was installed by New York firefighter
named David Kenyon. Oh, Dave cut a hole in the
upper floor of his firehouse and installed a grease pole.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Genius.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Now was that a grease pole or a greased pole?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Well, I think that's what they were called. A grease pole.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Grease pole is what they were called.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
But you know, fire stations don't have those anymore. They
don't build them with poles down unless it's like a
really historic station.
Speaker 7 (04:22):
They quit doing it.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Good for practice?
Speaker 6 (04:24):
Would they stop building things upstairs?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
No, they just find that the staircase. Honestly, they did
studies and found that the staircase was just as fast.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
They took all the fun out.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Oh right, well, thank you firefighters this morning. As move
up to nineteen ninety three, Brian berg A spear Lake, Iowa,
use two hundred and eight decks of playing cards to
build a seventy five story, fourteen foot six inch house
of cards. He devoted thirty hours of You can imagine
(04:57):
meticulous work just setting the Guinness World record.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
I couldn't do it. They don't have the patience, no,
serv not me.
Speaker 8 (05:06):
It's especially hard with a brand new deck because they're
all slippery.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I think O'Brien had it down.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
Yeah, yeah, Randy Saunds, last time, who's tribal?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I didn't you know? I didn't spend my high school
years dating.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Really about something to build a house on that category,
So we can move on. Nineteen ninety six, the world's
highest roller coaster opened in Las Vegas, with the track
one thousand, one hundred and forty nine feet up. It
circles the new Stratosphere Hotel. Well, well that'd be a ride,
wasn't it.
Speaker 7 (05:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And it is.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
I think they might have torn it down, is that
right now?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I did write it. Several years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
But I think because that's ninety six. Yeah, man, I
agree that. Well, that's our category out of work right there.
One eight hundred Big Shows. You're told free line, Come on,
play out Birds next double o Man Big Shows on
(06:35):
the radio, Monday morning, April twenty first feature track for
the Big Show bid Box Reverence Since there and Goober
spring forward for Easter service. Sister keywords Eastern Servant hit
the bid box at the Big Show dot com he right.
Speaker 9 (06:51):
Now, Ups, let's play ups.
Speaker 10 (06:57):
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boy, Billy, give.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
The prizes from the big Prize be let's go contested
number one. This should really be a lot.
Speaker 9 (07:12):
Of fun in your playing outs. Have a hurry up
and guest time you love the best time you have
a big shots.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Let's say have a Bob from Monroe, George Jobs.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
We have shots.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Good morning, Bob, Good morn, John Boy, No Mondy, welcome
in here, all right, you ready to get ready? Okay,
you are ready. Well, let's jump on in there, Bob.
In five seconds. Three things you see at a firehouse.
Ready go.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Heart drum paro Part two.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Now Bob, Three things needed to build a house. Ready
to go.
Speaker 11 (08:06):
Lumbered nails and enslated.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
For the wind. Three places that have a roller coaster
ready go this Fags, King Island, Busch Garden.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Look at Bob.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Why the wedding, the wedding, honey, twenty dollars one of
the bulls, not Bob. Good words, buddy, appreciate you. Listen.
Hey man, I love you guys. Sate you my boy.
You yeall go go you boy yah yeah yeah, please
Bob go ahead, buddy.
Speaker 12 (08:39):
Hell yeah, shout out to all my homeboys in most Virginia.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
All right, Well, there you go, Bob and spends some
states here with a big show on the radio. You
the man, you hang on? All right, there's the bottom
of the hour here. Come on on the top of
your news. The other side over, I can hear about
Oliver the Big Girl's Easter egg hun good morning, make
(09:42):
shows on the radio. Yeah, we'll get to it. He
hang on, Oliver the big girls these drag hunt you know,
Oliver an exactly a male twiggie. I don't know what
be kind of hurtful like that. Hell, we are having
a language lab. Money. We'll be kicking that off out
of the hour after they're not ready for drive. Tom
(10:02):
Blair's get the playhouse.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
So that's note.
Speaker 9 (10:10):
It is time for.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Oliver, well well Well.
Speaker 13 (10:18):
Easter, the glorious celebration of the resurrection of Jesus risen
from the tomb to walk among us, a cherished and
respected holiday for all Christians. But there are other Christians
who use Easter to celebrate something else.
Speaker 10 (10:36):
Chocolate.
Speaker 13 (10:39):
And by other Christians, I'm of course referring to my wife, her.
Speaker 10 (10:43):
Sister, and their mother.
Speaker 13 (10:47):
And this past Sunday I escorted the gals to their
very first Easter egg hunt. Oh the humanity, let me
preach on it. Honestly, I'd never seen the girl so excited.
Perhaps it was a pent up desire to breathe the
fresh spring air. Maybe it was a long held need
(11:09):
to celebrate their religion. But the truth was much more sinister.
Someone dared to beat them to the discount chocolate isle
the day before Easter, and now someone needed to pay.
Their only recourse, their soul shot at redemption was to
(11:31):
do it the old fashioned way by trampling children with
their rascals and a mad dash for free sweets. It
was a beautiful day at Fred Gwynn's State Park. The
pastel streamers and tasteful decorations blended seamlessly with the perfectly
blue sky. The birds sang their songs of praise, and
(11:54):
woodland creatures gamboled about the greenery as though part of
the day's events.
Speaker 10 (11:59):
The moon was about to shift.
Speaker 13 (12:02):
The back door of the panel truck rolled up, the
ramp extended to the street, and one by one the
gals rolled forth. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched,
like that scene from the Day the Earth stood still
when the spaceman made his first appearance. Why even the
(12:26):
children halted their frolic and stared mouths agape, knowing somehow
deep inside that they were looking at the pudgy face.
Speaker 14 (12:35):
Of pure Even.
Speaker 13 (12:38):
The gals were festooned in frocks of pastel easterly prints
in a strange Tim burtonesque sort of way.
Speaker 10 (12:47):
They were like giant easter eggs come alive.
Speaker 13 (12:52):
Too much rouge on pale white cheeks gave the impression
of a cross between the Joker and Mama June. They
even decorated their rascals for the occasion, with garlands and
little plastic eggs dangling from the handlebars. A brightly colored
windsock rose from the rear like a battle flag. I
(13:14):
thought it was going to be a bit too much,
But little did I realize I was staring at a
well thought out plan of attack. They drove back and
forth in anticipation of the games to come, like motorized
jungle cats pacing before a kill. The children, foolishly unaware
(13:34):
of the impending danger merely feet from them, hold their
little pails and chatter about where the delicious treats might
be hidden.
Speaker 10 (13:42):
When the green.
Speaker 13 (13:43):
Flag dropped, the youngsters eagerly scattered. The girls like sugar
hungry predators, paused and watched for a moment, seeing how
the herds separated. Then they tore off in different directions,
dividing their hunting territories almost instinctively. Every time a child
would find a treat, the girls closed in. The plastic
(14:06):
eggs that adorned their handlebars were plucked off and thrown
like a decoy. While the child was diverted, they swooped
in to grab the prize, and if the child wasn't
fooled by the decoy, they'd make a lasso out of
the festive garlands, catch them by the ankles, and dragged
them thirty or forty feet until the contents of their
(14:27):
bucket were scattered in the grass. Then, with a free paw,
they'd take the windsock and scoop up the fallen booty
like they were skimming smelt from a stream. They rode
victoriously back to the starting line, weaving to avoid sobbing
children and angry parents. After the melee, the girls retreated
(14:48):
to the shade of a nearby oak tree. They spread
out a blanket and proceeded to gorge on their ill
gotten gains. When a child would approach looking for a handout,
they'd need made a low guttural growl.
Speaker 10 (15:03):
That sent the urchins fleeing in the opposite direction.
Speaker 13 (15:07):
Then they slept like a bevy of bloated elephants seals
snoring on the beach after eating a school of mackerel. Unfortunately,
they chose the oak tree on top of a slightly
off rolling downgrade. My wife's sister rolled over mid snort
like a big blonde snowball and began rolling down the hill.
(15:29):
By the time she reached the bottom, she was a blue,
pink and white blur, only slowing down where she hit
that big patch of begonias. Those lucky enough to get
out of her way, rushed to help those who weren't. Thankfully,
children heal so fast. I hear that most of them
(15:50):
will be out of the hospital in time for summer break.
Speaker 10 (15:54):
It's an Eastern miracle.
Speaker 13 (15:57):
On the way home, the gals bemoaned the fact that
they've got to save some of their spoils for later.
At that exact moment, we passed a Nesle's truck that
had run off the road and lay on its side.
Not only did they salvage all the candy. As a bonus,
the state gave the gals a reward for taking care
of the cleanup. It almost covered the bill from Nesley's.
Speaker 7 (16:47):
Hey Hey.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Jos on the radio and not rid of a drive.
Speaker 15 (16:57):
John Players Action, Hello friends, your old pal burn Burn
here with another double chin jiggling edition of John Boy
and Billy Playhouse Today's episode The Castaways.
Speaker 13 (17:12):
As our story opens, Harry is celebrating his six month
anniversary being stranded on a desert island with Kate Upton.
Speaker 9 (17:20):
Kate, Katie, Dinner's ready.
Speaker 6 (17:23):
It's Kate, not Katie, not Caterino, not catalad ding dong Kate.
Speaker 10 (17:29):
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot Kate. I hope you're hungry.
Speaker 6 (17:33):
Wow, look at this spread, grilled snapper, mango, relish, wild garlic.
What's the special occasion?
Speaker 13 (17:41):
Well, I'm glad you asked today. Mark six months since
we were stranded in this tropical paradise.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Six months. Ugh, don't remind me.
Speaker 13 (17:50):
Well, yeah, I was wondering, since I went all out
for the dinner, if you could do something special for me.
Speaker 6 (17:56):
As long as it's not too weird.
Speaker 10 (17:59):
What the hell does that mean.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
I'm not recreating a swimsuit cover. I'm not going to
pretend to be your third grade teacher and spank you.
And we're not going to play Tarzan and Jane up
in the tree tops. I've still got chigger bites.
Speaker 13 (18:11):
No no, no, no, no, no, no no no, nothing like that. Here,
put on some of my old clothes.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
You want me to put on clothes that's different?
Speaker 13 (18:20):
And can I call you Pete? He was my best
friend and I really miss him.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Oh that sweet? Sure, I don't mind it at all.
Speaker 13 (18:28):
Okay, And one last thing, Pete, take this piece of
burnt wood and draw a mustache on your upper lip.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
I know where the mustache goes there.
Speaker 10 (18:39):
That's perfect. You look just like him, sort of.
Speaker 6 (18:42):
Oh So Pete was a thirty six triple D. So
what else do I need to know?
Speaker 13 (18:46):
Oh, don't worry about that, Pete Boy. Do I have
some juicy gossip for you? Pete, guess who I've been
sleeping with for the last six months? Son of a.
I hope you enjoy John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Could
(19:08):
you do up those top two buttons? Pete wasn't a slut?
Tune in next time when we'll hear the pervy tribal
chieftain who has a crush on Pete.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
A Big shows on the radio, hangout all right, listen
to you, morg It's time to button your yap.
Speaker 13 (19:27):
Say I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big. Say bigger than big.
It's enormous. Say he's adorable.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Morning Bag show is on your radio here this Easter Monday.
Matter is fun. Trying to learn new languages.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
Language tape number six The Convenience Store. Follow along and
repeat Convenience store manager.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
Hello Mary pe to helping you please? Repeat Hello marybe
to helping you please.
Speaker 7 (20:36):
Customer, Yes, I would like a pack of Parliament Lights.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Convenience store manager.
Speaker 7 (20:45):
You want to follow me light? Repeat?
Speaker 13 (20:48):
You want to have following late customer, Yes, I would
like a pack of Parliament Lights.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
Convenience store manager.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
He diesel Parliament Lake.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Repeat this one, customer.
Speaker 9 (21:05):
No, neither one of those.
Speaker 10 (21:07):
Here's the Parliament light. Great, No, no, it's not that
one you want?
Speaker 9 (21:14):
Yes, I want the Parliament lights.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Please?
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
No?
Speaker 10 (21:18):
The part the Parliament light?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
No?
Speaker 10 (21:20):
No, no, can't you see it?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 10 (21:23):
Go over here for the Dirty magazine.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Can't you see its long?
Speaker 7 (21:26):
The head.
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Turn this teap over for language tap number seven.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Good Morning, Big Shows a radio hang on the very
first language lab as we delve into the two genders.
This morning coming up? Where's we tell you? Getting ready
to play John Boy Jeopardy? Well always go do we
get a winner as a Happy Herd prize? Pack up
Happy Herd, make stop quality tragners, minerals and feed for deer,
(21:55):
bear and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd, you
better hopebors are. That's what I'm go on, was Jah
do jbb at check out the Happy Herd when you
click on the banner to Big show dot Com. It'll
save you ten percent right off the top. Hang on,
you win it in minutes. This new it is, and
(22:17):
now here's a Big Show Language Lab.
Speaker 16 (22:21):
Welcome to Big Show Language Lab, a guide to more
effective conversation. Today's episode Things women say. Many problems in
romantic and marital relationships start because what we hear isn't
really what they mean. Today, I'll look at ten common
(22:41):
phrases women use, what you think they mean and what
they actually mean. Ready, let's begin phrase Number one. When
she says I'm fine, You think it means I'm fine,
but it actually means.
Speaker 6 (22:59):
I am the exact opposite of five.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
Number two, when she says I'll be ready in five minutes.
You think it means.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
I'll be ready in five minutes.
Speaker 9 (23:10):
But it actually means I will.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
Be ready at some indeterminate point in the future. Could
be five minutes, could be an hour. Please find something
useful to do while you wait for their instructions.
Speaker 9 (23:22):
Number three, when she says do you have to do that?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Now?
Speaker 9 (23:26):
You think it means I'm ready to go, but it
actually means.
Speaker 6 (23:31):
The activity you have chosen is the most useless and
idiotic thing you could possibly be doing at this moment,
and you should discontinue this activity immediately.
Speaker 16 (23:39):
Number four. When she says so that's what you're wearing.
You think it means your.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Outfit is acceptable, but I have a small suggestion that
might improve it.
Speaker 9 (23:49):
But it actually means it's.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
Not frisbee golf. It's a dinner party. Please modify every
component of your outfit immediately.
Speaker 9 (23:58):
Number five. When she said let's talk about this later,
you think it means let's talk about this later, but
it actually means I am.
Speaker 6 (24:07):
Currently unable to resort to physical violence against you due
to a large number of witnesses in the immediate area.
Speaker 9 (24:15):
Number six. When she says, so what do you think?
Speaker 16 (24:19):
You think it means I want to hear what you think,
but it actually means I.
Speaker 6 (24:24):
Want to hear what I think. Put in your voice.
Speaker 16 (24:29):
Number seven. When she says it's up to you, You
think it means it's up to you, but it actually means.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
You should already know the decision I have in mind.
If your answer is incorrect, I will consider it yet
another confirmation that you understand absolutely nothing about me.
Speaker 9 (24:47):
Number eight. When she says never mind, I'll do it.
You think it means.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
I've noticed you place a lower priority on this non
urgent task that I do, But not to worry, I
will attend to it myself.
Speaker 9 (24:59):
But it actually means, despite.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
Repeated request, this simple task remains undone. I am bringing
it up for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do
with the actual task. I will now angrily attempt to
perform said task myself to teach you a lesson. Please
intervene if my efforts actually threaten my life at any point.
Speaker 9 (25:19):
Number nine, when she says.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
Do you think she's pretty?
Speaker 9 (25:23):
You think it means that woman is quite striking, but
it actually means.
Speaker 6 (25:28):
I's front pervy.
Speaker 16 (25:32):
And finally, number ten, when she says we need to talk,
You think it means.
Speaker 6 (25:38):
I need to talk, you need to listen.
Speaker 9 (25:40):
But it actually means you left.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Your phone at home. I just figured out your past. Coode,
you are a dead man.
Speaker 16 (25:48):
And that concludes today's edition of Big Show Language Lab,
walked to you by Hard Graves Potted meat products chock
full of peckers and lips since nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
All right, then, and in about an hour, what women
really mean?
Speaker 7 (26:07):
All right?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Oh yeah, we got a lot of cover here. Girls.
All right, Well, let's jump in here and play John
Boyd Jeopardy. According to a recent study, this is the
number one reason Americans give we're going to a convenience
store or gas station.
Speaker 6 (26:24):
What is an emergency bathroom break?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
That's that I go? I mean what did he really mean?
What y'all got? One eight hundred? Big show?
Speaker 9 (26:37):
You told free line.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
We go to weekend a winner. We played John Boyd Jeopardy.
Next you going out. There's a big show on the radio.
(27:08):
Run until you Easter Monday, April twenty first our featured
track for the Big Show bit Box Rebben Derners, Lee's
and see It and the Good Master General spring forward
for Easter service. Oh tied him in the whole rapture
thing for you pre trips. Let's do us this morning.
Speaker 7 (27:30):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's fla Yes live across America.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
It's John boy Jeffery now wan and now your host.
His number one reason for going to a convenience store
is to settle up with the dozens of bags of
ice he meant to pay for on the way to
the beach hes John Boyce, Bang, you.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Say, I'll let Jackie witness anything anymore? As they had
a Joseph out of Rossville, Georgia. Good morning, Joe, good morning.
Hey buddy, you got the first shot at John Boydgepardy
this morning. Let's uh, let's see what you got, buddy.
At recent study, this is the number one reason Americans
(28:12):
give for going to a convenience store slash gas station.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
I'm gonna say, to get something to drink, to.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Get something to drink. Let's see study. You nail it
right on. Beverage is just barely beat gas forty eight
to forty three percent. Cigarette still holding it number three
(28:39):
twenty seven percent, gum, candy, snacks man gun get him
twenty three percent.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
And you know what's funny is you actually go in
for all those at the same time. Well except for
the cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Lottery tics. I never got into lottery tigs, but that's
like ten percent of people in there.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
We care.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Maybe fout dollar.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I like something I could control, like the outcome of
a sporting event. All right, Hey Joseph, good work, buddy,
You got the big old rides back head down to
Rossville for you. Thank you, sir, have a good one
you too, boy By the many hour topic of news,
(29:26):
got our Monday morning time capsules ride on schedule ride
on the other side of your reporter.
Speaker 9 (29:38):
H this is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big.
Speaker 17 (30:05):
Show, the South's number one exports.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Him morning.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
The Big Show is on your radio.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Ray Bird wonders if we know that this is no
name calling week here?
Speaker 12 (30:27):
It is right on right on the prep sheet. That's
right eight line, New York Associated Press. Middle schools across
America are observing no name calling week. The program now
and that second year takes saying that insults of all kinds.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Oh, well, you should know this is not middle school.
This is grammar school.
Speaker 10 (30:47):
No, this is robber room.
Speaker 12 (30:50):
Whether they're based on the child's appearance, background on behavior.
The initiative has the backing of the Girls Scouts on
Amnesty International. But guess who came up with the idea
let me yes, developed by the Gay Straight Education Network
about that which seeks to ensure that school safety accommodate
(31:11):
students of all sexual.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Orients and gay people come up with some of the
best names.
Speaker 12 (31:15):
That's right, and I get back to their subject of
the day.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Write that down for a quote.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
PA.
Speaker 13 (31:21):
Port of parliamentary procedure is cheapskates, skin flinting, freeload or
name calling.
Speaker 10 (31:27):
Yeah, all right, I'm sorry, Bob, that's all right.
Speaker 12 (31:31):
I thought I could get by day without getting trashed
by my cohort. What are they going to do? And
they don't have rape for to kick around anymore. We
got to make up stuff about and tell on the radio.
Now about that movie idea I suggested yesterday morning. You know,
at the end of the show, I said I had
an idea to revive a project that was talked about
(31:53):
and talked about on this show several years ago. Man,
didn't they talk about it? Who the making of a few?
Speaker 5 (32:00):
He just talks about the same.
Speaker 12 (32:01):
Bank and over. That's right, and the project never got
off the ground. The people still wonder. They still asked
me on the street what happened to the movie they
were gonna make? Well, it was just like the the
Desert Men who folded their tents and has quietly faded away.
Speaker 9 (32:18):
In fact, that was the plot.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Yeah, that's part of the problem.
Speaker 12 (32:21):
So after visiting a big new movie production facility in
Ashville over the weekend, I got the idea, not the
movie production man, as Pillars has already assumed, it was
and is my idea if I get a commission off,
He's y'all, not o man, And you can nip that
(32:41):
in the bud by get in touch with mister Merwin Gross,
the executive producer.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
That is.
Speaker 12 (32:48):
I didn't even mention that to him, and I was
up there Friday. It's just the light bulb went off
in my head yesterday morning.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Right here.
Speaker 12 (32:56):
That's all right, as my mother used to say, that's
all right. Look how much they're talking about such a project.
And thanks to Tim for recognizing that I'm more active.
And all the rest of this bunch put together, well nothing,
It would take a whole lot. I have only seventy seven,
not eighty nine. And as my mother used to say
that I saw, all right. The rest of them won't
(33:17):
make it to my age anyway, only brats. I'm not
gonna be around to see it when they drop off
a long time before.
Speaker 10 (33:23):
This is what I got to look forward to.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Take me now, mister yeah.
Speaker 11 (33:28):
He started to sound like Nixon and sixty four. They're
not going to have duck nuxon to cuck around any horror.
Speaker 12 (33:35):
And Randy, dear Randy, I didn't do. Dear Randy for once.
He kept his smart ass putting down the knocks to himself.
This one.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
I knew you were bringing me a sweater.
Speaker 12 (33:47):
I wonder if he knew I was bringing him a
nice new yellow cashmere sweader this morning. And it only
had one mouth hold in it.
Speaker 16 (33:55):
Well too, but provided courtesy of the enclose out racket,
Men's where house, that's men's warehouse.
Speaker 12 (34:03):
To love you all. But I say again, what will
you do when you don't have over?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
I am not a crook?
Speaker 11 (34:11):
Goodness, don't you don't have Bob Brayford to kick around anymore?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Right?
Speaker 12 (34:16):
All right, I ain't got no plans to retire. I
work at the pleasure.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Mister boy, as long as you live, long as you
can get in here, you got a job, buddy, I
told you that.
Speaker 12 (34:25):
See that's an inspiration all the other old folks.
Speaker 10 (34:27):
I'm budget you know. CEC's retired.
Speaker 12 (34:29):
John Bond Billy Show is gonna get go got recognized
as being kind o folks.
Speaker 11 (34:34):
We Cecy's retire and every time we ever bring general on,
it's always uh Air Force General retired.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Cecis retired Generals of Sissy. All right, this morning, thank.
Speaker 17 (34:48):
You, John boy and Dilly Yay, Good morning, rad yell dumb.
Speaker 7 (34:54):
Right, good morning.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
It's a big shon al radio.
Speaker 8 (35:26):
Here we go, Hey Cadbury, thanks for coming out and
helping out with the Easter egg.
Speaker 13 (35:31):
Han, way away, go away from me, little hi pleasure, sir.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
Yeah, let's get started.
Speaker 14 (35:40):
Begging, says pardon. Who is that woman on the porch?
She keeps looking at her watch.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
Oh that's my mom. She's been waiting for John Boy
to show up. He told her he was going to
be here.
Speaker 10 (35:50):
Oh how long has she been waiting?
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Fifteen years?
Speaker 10 (35:55):
I feel her pains.
Speaker 18 (35:57):
Hey, fancy pants, let's get this show on the road.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Be patient.
Speaker 10 (36:01):
Will so we meet to gay Cadberry.
Speaker 19 (36:06):
How's it going. I figured you'd be here. What's easter without?
Humpty dumpty?
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Little go easy with him, Cadbury. You two are partners today?
Speaker 5 (36:16):
What Oh?
Speaker 19 (36:18):
I'm loving this.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
You have to pair an adult with each kid.
Speaker 8 (36:22):
Will's dad, Eddie, is working today, so you're both kind
of odd men out looks like.
Speaker 19 (36:27):
It's you and me, Tennessee duxedo.
Speaker 10 (36:31):
Let's get this.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
Over with now, you two try to get along. It's eastern.
My mother's here.
Speaker 19 (36:36):
You know this is he is right?
Speaker 7 (36:38):
Cruce?
Speaker 10 (36:39):
Oh like Truce.
Speaker 19 (36:43):
Nice weather?
Speaker 5 (36:44):
Huh yes, lovely.
Speaker 14 (36:48):
Uh that's a that's quite an Easter basket. You out
of there, young Williams, virtually overflowing with all manner of
Easter goodies.
Speaker 18 (36:58):
My dad gave it to me. But it doesn't make
up for him being away all the time.
Speaker 14 (37:04):
Really, well, I know what you mean.
Speaker 10 (37:06):
My father was in the military. It was it was
quite difficult.
Speaker 18 (37:11):
At least your dad was doing something worthwhile. My dad
manages John Boy and Billy for pet's sake.
Speaker 19 (37:19):
It's kind of embarrassing on career day.
Speaker 18 (37:22):
Hey, look, my dad maybe sits a couple of hillbillies
makes you want to live underground.
Speaker 14 (37:29):
I must remember that one, sir, very good, very good.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Indeed, that was a good one, wasn't.
Speaker 14 (37:37):
And don't you worry about your father, William. He loves
you very much. Remember the way he stood up for
you at Christmas?
Speaker 19 (37:44):
You mean when he punched your lights out at the
Christmas party? Yeah, that was pretty cool. Oh oh sorry.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
Oh that's all right, will you.
Speaker 10 (37:53):
It was partially my fault, you know.
Speaker 14 (37:55):
Come again, you will find young William that with age,
one comes to term with one his own foibles.
Speaker 19 (38:01):
You're not sore about the Christmas thing.
Speaker 14 (38:03):
One must learn to be a good sports besides it
seems that we have a lot in common, you and I.
Perhaps if we had had this chat before, we wouldn't
have gotten off on the wrong foot like we did.
Speaker 18 (38:15):
You know you're right, Cadbury, You were all right too young, William,
and that makes what I'm about to do so much harder.
Speaker 19 (38:24):
Hold my eyster basket.
Speaker 18 (38:25):
Of course, Dad, Dad, help the butler is stealing my yster?
Speaker 10 (38:31):
What manner of prank is this?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Your father is working?
Speaker 19 (38:35):
Who do you think is playing the easter money?
Speaker 10 (38:37):
Stop right there, big boy? Oh yeah, how could you?
Speaker 18 (38:42):
I can't believe you fall for that poor little kid
stuff hook line and singer sucker.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
I guess you didn't learn your lesson lafetime.
Speaker 16 (38:52):
Oh, mister franch, get him back at easter basket and take.
Speaker 10 (38:55):
Your whoop and lock of muny.
Speaker 14 (38:57):
Get him dad, Yes, yes, all means get me Dad.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
I deserve it.
Speaker 14 (39:04):
And while you're at it, please give me a swift
kick in the seat of the trousers.
Speaker 10 (39:10):
Sends your sile, my foot.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Your butt.
Speaker 5 (39:14):
It's a perfect face.
Speaker 19 (39:16):
My day.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
I have another one.
Speaker 19 (39:22):
Happy he stopped?
Speaker 13 (39:26):
Will you come on back your toachtool?
Speaker 3 (39:30):
Hold up, I got some mare for you.
Speaker 10 (39:33):
You can stomp it at House.
Speaker 19 (39:35):
Hey, dadd I think you gave you the finger.
Speaker 14 (39:37):
Oh, good morning.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello, this
is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride of
the Red States, John Buy and Billy right here on
the Big Show. Some enchanted money you you may hear
the Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 6 (40:10):
H
Good morning. The Big Show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boy and Billy and they're
big show. I like the way they talk. They're funny
ha haa not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I've figured out why John Boy has a hard time
getting started the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Ain't gotten the gaze, I mean.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
A co a doodle doo hoping at him. Read today,
Hey day, there's a big show on the radio. He's
heeing into your Monday here, wonderful Monday after Easter April
twenty first, twenty twenty five, you have a good Eastern
I had a wonderful, wonderful Easter ran So.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Did you get to hide your own eggs this year?
Speaker 5 (01:24):
Is that still a few years of it?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I'm still a few years off, lad boy good. I
think somebody is pilfering parts of my chocolate bunny. I
have to look into that's all right, very special Monday
show here on the Big On the Big Show, it's
all about communication and not ours. So as you can see,
(01:49):
we're just gonna eaze in and let's worry about our
part language labs is what we're talking about? What what
women mean? How you you wondered about that both of
your life? What women really mean?
Speaker 6 (02:06):
What do we really mean?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
John? What do we really reading? That tone right there?
Before the show's over?
Speaker 6 (02:13):
I'm fine, Thanks for asking.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
You don't know her?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And of course for you ladies show her on the
other gender? What make show believes there's only two genders?
Man and woman? You've got me there, We've got both, yeah,
full display. Look over here here up here, All right, Well,
(02:44):
let's get this shoe on the road. Let me right here,
y'all get on the road first, get up before you
get on the road, right, you know what you're gonna do?
Is you'r is your morning? Thank you for making that's
part of it. Unless you're listening to the podcast anywhere
in the world, it could be any day after this
moment in time, on this Monday morning, April twenty first.
(03:05):
That's kind of deep when you think about that, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
That's okay, John boy, I got it.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
What does she mean? We'll find out before the big
show is all right, we're awake. Big show's on a radio.
Good morning, got a big showing a radio first prize
pig out the dough one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bulls not cleaning products made in the USA. Our
truck drivers with a big show on a radio, keep
(03:32):
America move when you can find bulls snout a truck
stops across this great country of hours. Or click on
that punter when you hit the big show dot com
and a fun way to get you some Listen right
here for our three days in history where we got
our categories for outbirds. April twenty first, eighteen seventy eight,
(03:52):
the first firehouse poll was installed by New York firefighter
named David Kenyon. Oh, Dave cut a hole in the
upper floor of his firehouse and installed a grease pole.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Genius.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Now was that a grease pole or a greased pole?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Well, I think that's what they were called. A grease pole.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Grease pole is what they were called.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
But you know, fire stations don't have those anymore. They
don't build them with poles down unless it's like a
really historic station.
Speaker 7 (04:22):
They quit doing it.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Good for practice?
Speaker 6 (04:24):
Would they stop building things upstairs?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
No, they just find that the staircase. Honestly, they did
studies and found that the staircase was just as fast.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
They took all the fun out.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Oh right, well, thank you firefighters this morning. As move
up to nineteen ninety three, Brian berg A spear Lake, Iowa,
use two hundred and eight decks of playing cards to
build a seventy five story, fourteen foot six inch house
of cards. He devoted thirty hours of You can imagine
(04:57):
meticulous work just setting the Guinness World record.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
I couldn't do it. They don't have the patience, no,
serv not me.
Speaker 8 (05:06):
It's especially hard with a brand new deck because they're
all slippery.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I think O'Brien had it down.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
Yeah, yeah, Randy Saunds, last time, who's tribal?
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I didn't you know? I didn't spend my high school
years dating.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Really about something to build a house on that category,
So we can move on. Nineteen ninety six, the world's
highest roller coaster opened in Las Vegas, with the track
one thousand, one hundred and forty nine feet up. It
circles the new Stratosphere Hotel. Well, well that'd be a ride,
wasn't it.
Speaker 7 (05:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And it is.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
I think they might have torn it down, is that
right now?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
I did write it. Several years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
But I think because that's ninety six. Yeah, man, I
agree that. Well, that's our category out of work right there.
One eight hundred Big Shows. You're told free line, Come on,
play out Birds next double o Man Big Shows on
(06:35):
the radio, Monday morning, April twenty first feature track for
the Big Show bid Box Reverence Since there and Goober
spring forward for Easter service. Sister keywords Eastern Servant hit
the bid box at the Big Show dot com he right.
Speaker 9 (06:51):
Now, Ups, let's play ups.
Speaker 10 (06:57):
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boy, Billy, give.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
The prizes from the big Prize be let's go contested
number one. This should really be a lot.
Speaker 9 (07:12):
Of fun in your playing outs. Have a hurry up
and guest time you love the best time you have
a big shots.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Let's say have a Bob from Monroe, George Jobs.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
We have shots.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Good morning, Bob, Good morn, John Boy, No Mondy, welcome
in here, all right, you ready to get ready? Okay,
you are ready. Well, let's jump on in there, Bob.
In five seconds. Three things you see at a firehouse.
Ready go.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Heart drum paro Part two.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Now Bob, Three things needed to build a house. Ready
to go.
Speaker 11 (08:06):
Lumbered nails and enslated.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
For the wind. Three places that have a roller coaster
ready go this Fags, King Island, Busch Garden.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Look at Bob.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Why the wedding, the wedding, honey, twenty dollars one of
the bulls, not Bob. Good words, buddy, appreciate you. Listen.
Hey man, I love you guys. Sate you my boy.
You yeall go go you boy yah yeah yeah, please
Bob go ahead, buddy.
Speaker 12 (08:39):
Hell yeah, shout out to all my homeboys in most Virginia.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
All right, Well, there you go, Bob and spends some
states here with a big show on the radio. You
the man, you hang on? All right, there's the bottom
of the hour here. Come on on the top of
your news. The other side over, I can hear about
Oliver the Big Girl's Easter egg hun good morning, make
(09:42):
shows on the radio. Yeah, we'll get to it. He
hang on, Oliver the big girls these drag hunt you know,
Oliver an exactly a male twiggie. I don't know what
be kind of hurtful like that. Hell, we are having
a language lab. Money. We'll be kicking that off out
of the hour after they're not ready for drive. Tom
(10:02):
Blair's get the playhouse.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
So that's note.
Speaker 9 (10:10):
It is time for.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Oliver, well well Well.
Speaker 13 (10:18):
Easter, the glorious celebration of the resurrection of Jesus risen
from the tomb to walk among us, a cherished and
respected holiday for all Christians. But there are other Christians
who use Easter to celebrate something else.
Speaker 10 (10:36):
Chocolate.
Speaker 13 (10:39):
And by other Christians, I'm of course referring to my wife, her.
Speaker 10 (10:43):
Sister, and their mother.
Speaker 13 (10:47):
And this past Sunday I escorted the gals to their
very first Easter egg hunt. Oh the humanity, let me
preach on it. Honestly, I'd never seen the girl so excited.
Perhaps it was a pent up desire to breathe the
fresh spring air. Maybe it was a long held need
(11:09):
to celebrate their religion. But the truth was much more sinister.
Someone dared to beat them to the discount chocolate isle
the day before Easter, and now someone needed to pay.
Their only recourse, their soul shot at redemption was to
(11:31):
do it the old fashioned way by trampling children with
their rascals and a mad dash for free sweets. It
was a beautiful day at Fred Gwynn's State Park. The
pastel streamers and tasteful decorations blended seamlessly with the perfectly
blue sky. The birds sang their songs of praise, and
(11:54):
woodland creatures gamboled about the greenery as though part of
the day's events.
Speaker 10 (11:59):
The moon was about to shift.
Speaker 13 (12:02):
The back door of the panel truck rolled up, the
ramp extended to the street, and one by one the
gals rolled forth. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched,
like that scene from the Day the Earth stood still
when the spaceman made his first appearance. Why even the
(12:26):
children halted their frolic and stared mouths agape, knowing somehow
deep inside that they were looking at the pudgy face.
Speaker 14 (12:35):
Of pure Even.
Speaker 13 (12:38):
The gals were festooned in frocks of pastel easterly prints
in a strange Tim burtonesque sort of way.
Speaker 10 (12:47):
They were like giant easter eggs come alive.
Speaker 13 (12:52):
Too much rouge on pale white cheeks gave the impression
of a cross between the Joker and Mama June. They
even decorated their rascals for the occasion, with garlands and
little plastic eggs dangling from the handlebars. A brightly colored
windsock rose from the rear like a battle flag. I
(13:14):
thought it was going to be a bit too much,
But little did I realize I was staring at a
well thought out plan of attack. They drove back and
forth in anticipation of the games to come, like motorized
jungle cats pacing before a kill. The children, foolishly unaware
(13:34):
of the impending danger merely feet from them, hold their
little pails and chatter about where the delicious treats might
be hidden.
Speaker 10 (13:42):
When the green.
Speaker 13 (13:43):
Flag dropped, the youngsters eagerly scattered. The girls like sugar
hungry predators, paused and watched for a moment, seeing how
the herds separated. Then they tore off in different directions,
dividing their hunting territories almost instinctively. Every time a child
would find a treat, the girls closed in. The plastic
(14:06):
eggs that adorned their handlebars were plucked off and thrown
like a decoy. While the child was diverted, they swooped
in to grab the prize, and if the child wasn't
fooled by the decoy, they'd make a lasso out of
the festive garlands, catch them by the ankles, and dragged
them thirty or forty feet until the contents of their
(14:27):
bucket were scattered in the grass. Then, with a free paw,
they'd take the windsock and scoop up the fallen booty
like they were skimming smelt from a stream. They rode
victoriously back to the starting line, weaving to avoid sobbing
children and angry parents. After the melee, the girls retreated
(14:48):
to the shade of a nearby oak tree. They spread
out a blanket and proceeded to gorge on their ill
gotten gains. When a child would approach looking for a handout,
they'd need made a low guttural growl.
Speaker 10 (15:03):
That sent the urchins fleeing in the opposite direction.
Speaker 13 (15:07):
Then they slept like a bevy of bloated elephants seals
snoring on the beach after eating a school of mackerel. Unfortunately,
they chose the oak tree on top of a slightly
off rolling downgrade. My wife's sister rolled over mid snort
like a big blonde snowball and began rolling down the hill.
(15:29):
By the time she reached the bottom, she was a blue,
pink and white blur, only slowing down where she hit
that big patch of begonias. Those lucky enough to get
out of her way, rushed to help those who weren't. Thankfully,
children heal so fast. I hear that most of them
(15:50):
will be out of the hospital in time for summer break.
Speaker 10 (15:54):
It's an Eastern miracle.
Speaker 13 (15:57):
On the way home, the gals bemoaned the fact that
they've got to save some of their spoils for later.
At that exact moment, we passed a Nesle's truck that
had run off the road and lay on its side.
Not only did they salvage all the candy. As a bonus,
the state gave the gals a reward for taking care
of the cleanup. It almost covered the bill from Nesley's.
Speaker 7 (16:47):
Hey Hey.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Jos on the radio and not rid of a drive.
Speaker 15 (16:57):
John Players Action, Hello friends, your old pal burn Burn
here with another double chin jiggling edition of John Boy
and Billy Playhouse Today's episode The Castaways.
Speaker 13 (17:12):
As our story opens, Harry is celebrating his six month
anniversary being stranded on a desert island with Kate Upton.
Speaker 9 (17:20):
Kate, Katie, Dinner's ready.
Speaker 6 (17:23):
It's Kate, not Katie, not Caterino, not catalad ding dong Kate.
Speaker 10 (17:29):
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot Kate. I hope you're hungry.
Speaker 6 (17:33):
Wow, look at this spread, grilled snapper, mango, relish, wild garlic.
What's the special occasion?
Speaker 13 (17:41):
Well, I'm glad you asked today. Mark six months since
we were stranded in this tropical paradise.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Six months. Ugh, don't remind me.
Speaker 13 (17:50):
Well, yeah, I was wondering, since I went all out
for the dinner, if you could do something special for me.
Speaker 6 (17:56):
As long as it's not too weird.
Speaker 10 (17:59):
What the hell does that mean.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
I'm not recreating a swimsuit cover. I'm not going to
pretend to be your third grade teacher and spank you.
And we're not going to play Tarzan and Jane up
in the tree tops. I've still got chigger bites.
Speaker 13 (18:11):
No no, no, no, no, no, no no no, nothing like that. Here,
put on some of my old clothes.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
You want me to put on clothes that's different?
Speaker 13 (18:20):
And can I call you Pete? He was my best
friend and I really miss him.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
Oh that sweet? Sure, I don't mind it at all.
Speaker 13 (18:28):
Okay, And one last thing, Pete, take this piece of
burnt wood and draw a mustache on your upper lip.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
I know where the mustache goes there.
Speaker 10 (18:39):
That's perfect. You look just like him, sort of.
Speaker 6 (18:42):
Oh So Pete was a thirty six triple D. So
what else do I need to know?
Speaker 13 (18:46):
Oh, don't worry about that, Pete Boy. Do I have
some juicy gossip for you? Pete, guess who I've been
sleeping with for the last six months? Son of a.
I hope you enjoy John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Could
(19:08):
you do up those top two buttons? Pete wasn't a slut?
Tune in next time when we'll hear the pervy tribal
chieftain who has a crush on Pete.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
A Big shows on the radio, hangout all right, listen
to you, morg It's time to button your yap.
Speaker 13 (19:27):
Say I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big. Say bigger than big.
It's enormous. Say he's adorable.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Morning Bag show is on your radio here this Easter Monday.
Matter is fun. Trying to learn new languages.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
Language tape number six The Convenience Store. Follow along and
repeat Convenience store manager.
Speaker 10 (20:30):
Hello Mary pe to helping you please? Repeat Hello marybe
to helping you please.
Speaker 7 (20:36):
Customer, Yes, I would like a pack of Parliament Lights.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Convenience store manager.
Speaker 7 (20:45):
You want to follow me light? Repeat?
Speaker 13 (20:48):
You want to have following late customer, Yes, I would
like a pack of Parliament Lights.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
Convenience store manager.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
He diesel Parliament Lake.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Repeat this one, customer.
Speaker 9 (21:05):
No, neither one of those.
Speaker 10 (21:07):
Here's the Parliament light. Great, No, no, it's not that
one you want?
Speaker 9 (21:14):
Yes, I want the Parliament lights.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Please?
Speaker 6 (21:16):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
No?
Speaker 10 (21:18):
The part the Parliament light?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
No?
Speaker 10 (21:20):
No, no, can't you see it?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 10 (21:23):
Go over here for the Dirty magazine.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
Can't you see its long?
Speaker 7 (21:26):
The head.
Speaker 6 (21:29):
Turn this teap over for language tap number seven.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Good Morning, Big Shows a radio hang on the very
first language lab as we delve into the two genders.
This morning coming up? Where's we tell you? Getting ready
to play John Boy Jeopardy? Well always go do we
get a winner as a Happy Herd prize? Pack up
Happy Herd, make stop quality tragners, minerals and feed for deer,
(21:55):
bear and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd, you
better hopebors are. That's what I'm go on, was Jah
do jbb at check out the Happy Herd when you
click on the banner to Big show dot Com. It'll
save you ten percent right off the top. Hang on,
you win it in minutes. This new it is, and
(22:17):
now here's a Big Show Language Lab.
Speaker 16 (22:21):
Welcome to Big Show Language Lab, a guide to more
effective conversation. Today's episode Things women say. Many problems in
romantic and marital relationships start because what we hear isn't
really what they mean. Today, I'll look at ten common
(22:41):
phrases women use, what you think they mean and what
they actually mean. Ready, let's begin phrase Number one. When
she says I'm fine, You think it means I'm fine,
but it actually means.
Speaker 6 (22:59):
I am the exact opposite of five.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
Number two, when she says I'll be ready in five minutes.
You think it means.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
I'll be ready in five minutes.
Speaker 9 (23:10):
But it actually means I will.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
Be ready at some indeterminate point in the future. Could
be five minutes, could be an hour. Please find something
useful to do while you wait for their instructions.
Speaker 9 (23:22):
Number three, when she says do you have to do that?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Now?
Speaker 9 (23:26):
You think it means I'm ready to go, but it
actually means.
Speaker 6 (23:31):
The activity you have chosen is the most useless and
idiotic thing you could possibly be doing at this moment,
and you should discontinue this activity immediately.
Speaker 16 (23:39):
Number four. When she says so that's what you're wearing.
You think it means your.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Outfit is acceptable, but I have a small suggestion that
might improve it.
Speaker 9 (23:49):
But it actually means it's.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
Not frisbee golf. It's a dinner party. Please modify every
component of your outfit immediately.
Speaker 9 (23:58):
Number five. When she said let's talk about this later,
you think it means let's talk about this later, but
it actually means I am.
Speaker 6 (24:07):
Currently unable to resort to physical violence against you due
to a large number of witnesses in the immediate area.
Speaker 9 (24:15):
Number six. When she says, so what do you think?
Speaker 16 (24:19):
You think it means I want to hear what you think,
but it actually means I.
Speaker 6 (24:24):
Want to hear what I think. Put in your voice.
Speaker 16 (24:29):
Number seven. When she says it's up to you, You
think it means it's up to you, but it actually means.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
You should already know the decision I have in mind.
If your answer is incorrect, I will consider it yet
another confirmation that you understand absolutely nothing about me.
Speaker 9 (24:47):
Number eight. When she says never mind, I'll do it.
You think it means.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
I've noticed you place a lower priority on this non
urgent task that I do, But not to worry, I
will attend to it myself.
Speaker 9 (24:59):
But it actually means, despite.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
Repeated request, this simple task remains undone. I am bringing
it up for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do
with the actual task. I will now angrily attempt to
perform said task myself to teach you a lesson. Please
intervene if my efforts actually threaten my life at any point.
Speaker 9 (25:19):
Number nine, when she says.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
Do you think she's pretty?
Speaker 9 (25:23):
You think it means that woman is quite striking, but
it actually means.
Speaker 6 (25:28):
I's front pervy.
Speaker 16 (25:32):
And finally, number ten, when she says we need to talk,
You think it means.
Speaker 6 (25:38):
I need to talk, you need to listen.
Speaker 9 (25:40):
But it actually means you left.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Your phone at home. I just figured out your past. Coode,
you are a dead man.
Speaker 16 (25:48):
And that concludes today's edition of Big Show Language Lab,
walked to you by Hard Graves Potted meat products chock
full of peckers and lips since nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
All right, then, and in about an hour, what women
really mean?
Speaker 7 (26:07):
All right?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Oh yeah, we got a lot of cover here. Girls.
All right, Well, let's jump in here and play John
Boyd Jeopardy. According to a recent study, this is the
number one reason Americans give we're going to a convenience
store or gas station.
Speaker 6 (26:24):
What is an emergency bathroom break?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
That's that I go? I mean what did he really mean?
What y'all got? One eight hundred? Big show?
Speaker 9 (26:37):
You told free line.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
We go to weekend a winner. We played John Boyd Jeopardy.
Next you going out. There's a big show on the radio.
(27:08):
Run until you Easter Monday, April twenty first our featured
track for the Big Show bit Box Rebben Derners, Lee's
and see It and the Good Master General spring forward
for Easter service. Oh tied him in the whole rapture
thing for you pre trips. Let's do us this morning.
Speaker 7 (27:30):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's fla Yes live across America.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
It's John boy Jeffery now wan and now your host.
His number one reason for going to a convenience store
is to settle up with the dozens of bags of
ice he meant to pay for on the way to
the beach hes John Boyce, Bang, you.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Say, I'll let Jackie witness anything anymore? As they had
a Joseph out of Rossville, Georgia. Good morning, Joe, good morning.
Hey buddy, you got the first shot at John Boydgepardy
this morning. Let's uh, let's see what you got, buddy.
At recent study, this is the number one reason Americans
(28:12):
give for going to a convenience store slash gas station.
Speaker 5 (28:16):
I'm gonna say, to get something to drink, to.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Get something to drink. Let's see study. You nail it
right on. Beverage is just barely beat gas forty eight
to forty three percent. Cigarette still holding it number three
(28:39):
twenty seven percent, gum, candy, snacks man gun get him
twenty three percent.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
And you know what's funny is you actually go in
for all those at the same time. Well except for
the cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Lottery tics. I never got into lottery tigs, but that's
like ten percent of people in there.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
We care.
Speaker 4 (29:00):
Maybe fout dollar.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
I like something I could control, like the outcome of
a sporting event. All right, Hey Joseph, good work, buddy,
You got the big old rides back head down to
Rossville for you. Thank you, sir, have a good one
you too, boy By the many hour topic of news,
(29:26):
got our Monday morning time capsules ride on schedule ride
on the other side of your reporter.
Speaker 9 (29:38):
H this is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big.
Speaker 17 (30:05):
Show, the South's number one exports.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Him morning.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
The Big Show is on your radio.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Ray Bird wonders if we know that this is no
name calling week here?
Speaker 12 (30:27):
It is right on right on the prep sheet. That's
right eight line, New York Associated Press. Middle schools across
America are observing no name calling week. The program now
and that second year takes saying that insults of all kinds.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Oh, well, you should know this is not middle school.
This is grammar school.
Speaker 10 (30:47):
No, this is robber room.
Speaker 12 (30:50):
Whether they're based on the child's appearance, background on behavior.
The initiative has the backing of the Girls Scouts on
Amnesty International. But guess who came up with the idea
let me yes, developed by the Gay Straight Education Network
about that which seeks to ensure that school safety accommodate
(31:11):
students of all sexual.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Orients and gay people come up with some of the
best names.
Speaker 12 (31:15):
That's right, and I get back to their subject of
the day.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Write that down for a quote.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
PA.
Speaker 13 (31:21):
Port of parliamentary procedure is cheapskates, skin flinting, freeload or
name calling.
Speaker 10 (31:27):
Yeah, all right, I'm sorry, Bob, that's all right.
Speaker 12 (31:31):
I thought I could get by day without getting trashed
by my cohort. What are they going to do? And
they don't have rape for to kick around anymore. We
got to make up stuff about and tell on the radio.
Now about that movie idea I suggested yesterday morning. You know,
at the end of the show, I said I had
an idea to revive a project that was talked about
(31:53):
and talked about on this show several years ago. Man,
didn't they talk about it? Who the making of a few?
Speaker 5 (32:00):
He just talks about the same.
Speaker 12 (32:01):
Bank and over. That's right, and the project never got
off the ground. The people still wonder. They still asked
me on the street what happened to the movie they
were gonna make? Well, it was just like the the
Desert Men who folded their tents and has quietly faded away.
Speaker 9 (32:18):
In fact, that was the plot.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Yeah, that's part of the problem.
Speaker 12 (32:21):
So after visiting a big new movie production facility in
Ashville over the weekend, I got the idea, not the
movie production man, as Pillars has already assumed, it was
and is my idea if I get a commission off,
He's y'all, not o man, And you can nip that
(32:41):
in the bud by get in touch with mister Merwin Gross,
the executive producer.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
That is.
Speaker 12 (32:48):
I didn't even mention that to him, and I was
up there Friday. It's just the light bulb went off
in my head yesterday morning.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Right here.
Speaker 12 (32:56):
That's all right, as my mother used to say, that's
all right. Look how much they're talking about such a project.
And thanks to Tim for recognizing that I'm more active.
And all the rest of this bunch put together, well nothing,
It would take a whole lot. I have only seventy seven,
not eighty nine. And as my mother used to say
that I saw, all right. The rest of them won't
(33:17):
make it to my age anyway, only brats. I'm not
gonna be around to see it when they drop off
a long time before.
Speaker 10 (33:23):
This is what I got to look forward to.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Take me now, mister yeah.
Speaker 11 (33:28):
He started to sound like Nixon and sixty four. They're
not going to have duck nuxon to cuck around any horror.
Speaker 12 (33:35):
And Randy, dear Randy, I didn't do. Dear Randy for once.
He kept his smart ass putting down the knocks to himself.
This one.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
I knew you were bringing me a sweater.
Speaker 12 (33:47):
I wonder if he knew I was bringing him a
nice new yellow cashmere sweader this morning. And it only
had one mouth hold in it.
Speaker 16 (33:55):
Well too, but provided courtesy of the enclose out racket,
Men's where house, that's men's warehouse.
Speaker 12 (34:03):
To love you all. But I say again, what will
you do when you don't have over?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
I am not a crook?
Speaker 11 (34:11):
Goodness, don't you don't have Bob Brayford to kick around anymore?
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Right?
Speaker 12 (34:16):
All right, I ain't got no plans to retire. I
work at the pleasure.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Mister boy, as long as you live, long as you
can get in here, you got a job, buddy, I
told you that.
Speaker 12 (34:25):
See that's an inspiration all the other old folks.
Speaker 10 (34:27):
I'm budget you know. CEC's retired.
Speaker 12 (34:29):
John Bond Billy Show is gonna get go got recognized
as being kind o folks.
Speaker 11 (34:34):
We Cecy's retire and every time we ever bring general on,
it's always uh Air Force General retired.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Cecis retired Generals of Sissy. All right, this morning, thank.
Speaker 17 (34:48):
You, John boy and Dilly Yay, Good morning, rad yell dumb.
Speaker 7 (34:54):
Right, good morning.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
It's a big shon al radio.
Speaker 8 (35:26):
Here we go, Hey Cadbury, thanks for coming out and
helping out with the Easter egg.
Speaker 13 (35:31):
Han, way away, go away from me, little hi pleasure, sir.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
Yeah, let's get started.
Speaker 14 (35:40):
Begging, says pardon. Who is that woman on the porch?
She keeps looking at her watch.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
Oh that's my mom. She's been waiting for John Boy
to show up. He told her he was going to
be here.
Speaker 10 (35:50):
Oh how long has she been waiting?
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Fifteen years?
Speaker 10 (35:55):
I feel her pains.
Speaker 18 (35:57):
Hey, fancy pants, let's get this show on the road.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Be patient.
Speaker 10 (36:01):
Will so we meet to gay Cadberry.
Speaker 19 (36:06):
How's it going. I figured you'd be here. What's easter without?
Humpty dumpty?
Speaker 4 (36:12):
Little go easy with him, Cadbury. You two are partners today?
Speaker 5 (36:16):
What Oh?
Speaker 19 (36:18):
I'm loving this.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
You have to pair an adult with each kid.
Speaker 8 (36:22):
Will's dad, Eddie, is working today, so you're both kind
of odd men out looks like.
Speaker 19 (36:27):
It's you and me, Tennessee duxedo.
Speaker 10 (36:31):
Let's get this.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
Over with now, you two try to get along. It's eastern.
My mother's here.
Speaker 19 (36:36):
You know this is he is right?
Speaker 7 (36:38):
Cruce?
Speaker 10 (36:39):
Oh like Truce.
Speaker 19 (36:43):
Nice weather?
Speaker 5 (36:44):
Huh yes, lovely.
Speaker 14 (36:48):
Uh that's a that's quite an Easter basket. You out
of there, young Williams, virtually overflowing with all manner of
Easter goodies.
Speaker 18 (36:58):
My dad gave it to me. But it doesn't make
up for him being away all the time.
Speaker 14 (37:04):
Really, well, I know what you mean.
Speaker 10 (37:06):
My father was in the military. It was it was
quite difficult.
Speaker 18 (37:11):
At least your dad was doing something worthwhile. My dad
manages John Boy and Billy for pet's sake.
Speaker 19 (37:19):
It's kind of embarrassing on career day.
Speaker 18 (37:22):
Hey, look, my dad maybe sits a couple of hillbillies
makes you want to live underground.
Speaker 14 (37:29):
I must remember that one, sir, very good, very good.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Indeed, that was a good one, wasn't.
Speaker 14 (37:37):
And don't you worry about your father, William. He loves
you very much. Remember the way he stood up for
you at Christmas?
Speaker 19 (37:44):
You mean when he punched your lights out at the
Christmas party? Yeah, that was pretty cool. Oh oh sorry.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
Oh that's all right, will you.
Speaker 10 (37:53):
It was partially my fault, you know.
Speaker 14 (37:55):
Come again, you will find young William that with age,
one comes to term with one his own foibles.
Speaker 19 (38:01):
You're not sore about the Christmas thing.
Speaker 14 (38:03):
One must learn to be a good sports besides it
seems that we have a lot in common, you and I.
Perhaps if we had had this chat before, we wouldn't
have gotten off on the wrong foot like we did.
Speaker 18 (38:15):
You know you're right, Cadbury, You were all right too young, William,
and that makes what I'm about to do so much harder.
Speaker 19 (38:24):
Hold my eyster basket.
Speaker 18 (38:25):
Of course, Dad, Dad, help the butler is stealing my yster?
Speaker 10 (38:31):
What manner of prank is this?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Your father is working?
Speaker 19 (38:35):
Who do you think is playing the easter money?
Speaker 10 (38:37):
Stop right there, big boy? Oh yeah, how could you?
Speaker 18 (38:42):
I can't believe you fall for that poor little kid
stuff hook line and singer sucker.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
I guess you didn't learn your lesson lafetime.
Speaker 16 (38:52):
Oh, mister franch, get him back at easter basket and take.
Speaker 10 (38:55):
Your whoop and lock of muny.
Speaker 14 (38:57):
Get him dad, Yes, yes, all means get me Dad.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
I deserve it.
Speaker 14 (39:04):
And while you're at it, please give me a swift
kick in the seat of the trousers.
Speaker 10 (39:10):
Sends your sile, my foot.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Your butt.
Speaker 5 (39:14):
It's a perfect face.
Speaker 19 (39:16):
My day.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
I have another one.
Speaker 19 (39:22):
Happy he stopped?
Speaker 13 (39:26):
Will you come on back your toachtool?
Speaker 3 (39:30):
Hold up, I got some mare for you.
Speaker 10 (39:33):
You can stomp it at House.
Speaker 19 (39:35):
Hey, dadd I think you gave you the finger.
Speaker 14 (39:37):
Oh, good morning.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello, this
is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride of
the Red States, John Buy and Billy right here on
the Big Show. Some enchanted money you you may hear
the Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 6 (40:10):
H
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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