February 25, 2025 • 40 mins
It's said that around 1/3 of society has tattoos - that increases to nearly half for people in their 20s. What is it about this permanent form of art that so many of us feel called to get? And what are the psychological underpinnings behind our design choices, why we may find ourselves wanting more and more tattoos, the relationship to childhood experiences and which tattoos we may come to regret... in today's episode, we break it all down including:
- The 3 main psychological reasons people get tattoos
- Tattoos as a form of permanence and belonging
- Why we see similar designs or 'trending' tattoos
- Tattoos and why we love the pain
- Which tattoos we regret
- How to make smart tattoo decisions + so much more
Listen now and drop your tattoo regrets below!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Before we get started. This episode of the podcast does
contain references and discussions of child abuse. If this is
a sensitive topic for you, please reflect on whether you
are ready to listen to this episode. If you don't
feel ready, it will still be here in a week,
a month, a year, whenever it's a better time to listen.
(00:21):
Take care of yourselves, and I'm sending you love and healing.
Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to
the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever you are in
the world, it is so lovely, so great to have
you here. Back for another episode, as we, of course
(00:43):
break down the psychology of our twenties this week. When
I sat down at my desk and I was deciding
what to talk about this week, what did I want
to discuss, I made the decision to do something a
little bit fun, a little bit different. I wanted to
do an episode there that you might not think has
anything to do with psychology. You know. I feel like
(01:04):
we've done quite a few serious, emotional, very in depth,
somewhat scientific episodes as of late, and I wanted to
kind of do something a bit more fun. One topic
that kept floating to the surface for me was tattoos.
Why do we get them, not just in our twenties,
but at any stage? How important are they to our identity?
(01:27):
Which tattoos do we end up regretting? Which ones do
we not end up regretting. Basically, I want to talk
about the psychology of tattoos, and that, my friends, is
what we are going to do today. I have been
endlessly fascinated by this topic for some time. As someone
with tattoos, I have never actually considered why I got them?
(01:48):
Why was I called to literally get something permanently put
on my body after when I had just turned eighteen?
Why did I decide on specific designs? Why did I
just side on what to get? What was the motivation?
And in thinking about my own intentions with my tattoos,
I uncovered so much research that I did not even
(02:12):
know was out there. I also talked to some of
my friends. I am so lucky to have some incredible
friends in my life who are tattoo artists and who
make a living off of permanent art on somebody else's body,
like there is no other type of art like it.
And I spoke to them and I was like, can
you tell me what you hear? From people who are
(02:32):
getting tattoos. Are you seeing a specific kind of person
get a specific kind of tattoo? Do people ever come
back and say they regret it? Like, tell me about
the emotional experience you have with a client when you
are putting something on their body. And it has just
been so fascinating talking to people about what kind of
(02:53):
feels like quite an innocuous subject. I also found this
interesting piece of research saying that the majority of people
who have tattoos got their first one in their twenties.
Now you may hear that and think that gemma, that
makes sense, right, Depending on where you live, most people
can't get tattoos before they turn eighteen, and even then
(03:16):
you probably don't have the money to get the tattoos
that you want until you're in your twenties. So it
feels like the time a lot of people are doing it.
But it also comes down to the fact that this
decade is when we are in peak identity formation season.
We've had our teen years to really explore, but it's
our twenties where we are really trying to find the
(03:38):
shoe or the outfit or the persona that fits. We
are trying to find our space we are really starting
to feel grounded in who we are. We're kind of
exploring different facets of our identity and sometimes that calls
for expression. It calls for something permanent to represent who
we are and what we're going through. That is where
(04:00):
tattoos come in. And I think of tattoos kind of
as like a testimony to the age you are when
you get them. And maybe in ten twenty years time
you'll look at it and think what was I thinking? Like,
what does this even mean? But maybe it's also, you know,
an important rite of passage to some people. It brings
(04:22):
a sense of certainty. All right, don't want to spoil
the entire episode before we even get into it, but really,
what we are going to do today is just take
a big bite into all the fascinating research to do
with body modification, tattooing, even things like regret, as well
as do a brief kind of dive into some of
(04:44):
the history as well, because this topic has so many
dimensions to it. Without further ado, my lovely listeners, let
us get into the psychology of tattoos. Let's talk briefly
about the history of tattoos, because I feel like the
(05:05):
change in attitudes that we've experienced just in the last
fifty years is really quite striking and worth investigating. Now.
I always get in trouble when I talk about history
on this podcast because there are some very smart people
out there who know a lot more about very specific
topics than me and very graciously correct me when I'm wrong.
(05:27):
But I really did a deep dive into this one.
I used what I think is like the mother of
all guides, the Smithsonian's Worldwide History of Tattoos, to really
go in deep. So I hope that you are all
prepared for a bit of a factual start to this episode.
Some people will incorrectly assume or tell you that tattoos
(05:50):
first emerged in the eighteen hundreds. That cannot be further
from the truth. Humans have been marking their skin in
ritualistic and important ways for literally thousands of years around
the world, across different cultures. Tattoos are really really significant.
(06:12):
I think about you know, the Greeks, they used to
use tattoos to declare love. Indigenous Polynesians used to use
tattoos to tell personal stories. We see them in ancient
Serbian nomads. In Native South Americans, tattoos have this real
(06:33):
core place in the human story, how we express ourselves,
how we signify status, religious beliefs, even as just purely
a form of decoration. So I think what people generally
used to believe is that it was the Egyptians who
were like these so called inventors of inking skin, and
they used to use different kinds of pigments or ground
(06:56):
up insects, and they would insert the you know way
pigment into the skin using a piece of bronze or
like a sharp stick. There's also evidence of a very
famous mummy. It's called Otse the Iceman. If you're a
history buff, you'll know this mummy quite well. That individual
(07:16):
is almost six thousand years old. And when they found
this mummified person, he had tattoos. Six thousand years ago
people were already adorning their skin. Now that is really
the beginning of tattoos as we know it. Let's now
go forward about you know, five, seven hundred years, three
(07:36):
hundred years ago. During this time, specifically in Western cultures,
something changed when it came to our attitudes towards tattoos.
They used to be very culturally maybe religiously significant, and
then they started being considered a sign of being a
criminal or a deviant. They're associated with gangs, behaviors that
(08:00):
society doesn't approve of, and as such, they're banned in
some spaces. Actually, I remember visiting Japan last year and
not being able to enter the onsens or the hot
baths because I had tattoos. So it's still relevant in
some cultures. But we can link a lot of this
(08:21):
stigma back to a specific group of Christian missionaries who
did a really great job at convincing people back then
that tattoos would disfigure the sacred vessel given to us
by God, and consequently they were banned. They were banned
(08:42):
in Christianity, and as Christianity became more widespread, that same
belief was impressed upon different cultures, some of whom did
have a historical, I don't know, historical attachment to tattooing.
Of of course, we know that did not stop people
(09:03):
from doing it, but it did bring about a stigma
that if you got tattoos, you were obviously not a
God fearing individual and therefore you were probably up to
no good. This is how they really became associated with being,
you know, a bit of a rebel, and they became
(09:23):
associated with criminality and counterculture. But around like the nineteen forties,
specifically in America, there was a revival of tattooing in
Western cultures, and slowly more and more people knew someone
with a tattoo, they knew a relative, they knew someone
in the army. Then you know, they kind of thought
(09:45):
about getting one of their own. They have kids with tattoos.
So nowadays, there's some estimates that between thirty to forty
eight percent of people in the country's surveys of countries
like Canada, America, Germany, and Australia, those were the country
is included in these studies, thirty to forty eight percent
of people in those countries have tattoos. Now, if you're
(10:06):
in your twenties, the likelihood that you have a tattoo
is increased. It's around thirty eight to fifty two percent.
So that's showing that, like over time generationally, we have
become a lot more accepting and we're a lot more
normal about this idea. I remember before I got my
first tattoo, I was like still had this like fear
(10:28):
of not being able to find a job, specifically like
if it was visible. But nowadays, like this stigma has
definitely lessened. So there's your little history lesson for the day.
I know this is a psychology podcast. I will not
dwell on it for long, but I do think it's
important to cover because that attitudinal change does play into
(10:49):
the psychology behind why we may be drawn to get
a tattoo. All right, let's talk about that question now,
why why do we feel compelled to put something permanent
on our skin? So, when it comes down to it,
when you're sitting in that tattoo chair, when you're waiting
for the needle to go in, you are probably in
(11:10):
that position because of one of four reasons. The first
is that you're looking to represent something of personal emotional
significance on your body. This is a way of telling
your personal story and your personal beliefs and maybe reaffirming
to yourself what you care about. What's important to you?
(11:32):
Is it family? Is religion? Is it a specific value system.
One of the largest studies ever done on the psychology
of tattoos was conducted in South Africa with university students
between nineteen and thirty five. Now, some of them had tattoos,
some of them were considering it, some of them were
(11:54):
just like absolutely not at all, and the researchers said,
explain your reasoning, and then they imadically grouped the responses. Now,
amongst people who had a tattoo or wanted a tattoo,
twenty five percent of them said the reason I would
want to do it is because this thing has a
personal meaning. It marks a significant experience or struggle for me.
(12:16):
So some of the reasons given were, I got a
tattoo to honor my mother, to honor my siblings, because
it represents my life philosophy, because this really presents what
I was going through at a certain time in my
life and I want to remember it. This idea is
one I actually really want to grab onto for a second,
(12:37):
And it's the idea that tattoos can bring about a
sense of permanence. They can really anchor us to a
specific time and our identity and our feelings and what
we were going through in that moment. It's kind of like,
if I put this on my body, this experience will
always be part of me. I won't forget. I won't
(12:59):
forget that loved one, I won't forget my how capable
I was and how courageous I was to get through
an experience I'll never forget that. This is how I
see life, this is how I choose to live it.
So if our body is just a vessel for our soul,
you know, why not decorate it in the manner of
(13:21):
what is important to you. I find this reason, this
reasoning almost using your body like a journal, in some
ways quite compelling. I have tattoos from specific periods in
my life, and when I think about them, I can
exactly remember what I was going through that made me
(13:42):
believe that this thing was important to get. One in particular,
and I have admitted this to very very few people
is a breakup tattoo. I went through this breakup when
I was eighteen, and it was really awful and I
don't know, it was just it was shrouded in a
(14:02):
lot of I don't know, it was complex. I'll just
say it was complex, and being my first like big heartbreak,
it taught me a lot. And I remember having this
resounding sense of like independence, like no matter what, you
need to be independent, you need to be able to
rely on yourself. You cannot get attached to any one person.
(14:25):
And so I got this like tattoo that represented that,
and now I have a more balanced perspective. But when
I look at that tattoo in the mirror, sometimes I
can exactly remember where I was when I got it.
And I don't just mean physically where I was, but
emotionally and mentally as well. Same for like my twenty
(14:46):
two tattoo. You know, I turned twenty two on the
twenty second of the second twenty twenty two. That felt
very significant to me. It felt very aligned, It felt
like it was something that needed to be held on to,
and you know, actually, quite frankly, like my twenty second
year was an amazing year of my life. Like I
quit my job, I met my boyfriend, I finally felt
(15:09):
happy in the city I was in. I had all
these opportunities. But you know, I do still sometimes look
at it and be like, why did you have to
get that? Why why did you have to get that?
Because you're not twenty two anymore. But I think we'll
talk about regret a little bit later. The biggest reason
for me in that moment was the emotional significance of
where I was, and for other people that it's really
(15:32):
important as well. It really comes down to self identity
and our desire to hold on to the feelings and
encounters that have shaped us, perhaps even using our body
as like a way to communicate who we are and
what we've experienced. I think about Harry Potter tattoos as
(15:53):
a perfect example of this, or any kind of fandom
or religious tattoo. These look called group identification tattoos. You know,
you put something on your body so that if someone
else saw it, they would know, maybe implicitly, what kind
of person you are, or if there were someone who
was interested in the same things, they could be like, oh, friend,
(16:16):
you know, I know who you are. We have this
thing in common even though we've never met. It's like
this form of communication or recognition belonging. It's a form
of belonging. Obviously, that can also take a terrible turn
if people are using hate symbols as a way to
(16:37):
identify a group to which they belong, Like that's this,
that's this philosophy taken to a very negative, dark extreme.
But it is still part of some people's motivations for
getting tattoos. The final value based reason for getting a
tattoo can be for cultural reasons. As we've already explained,
(17:01):
there are so many cultures with an amazing history of tattooing.
I think about our New Zealand and Marie neighbors here
in Australia who get I'm going to try and pronounce
this right tomoco, which is traditional mary tattoos that really
symbolize cultural pride, history story. They can mark like a
(17:22):
significant occasion like a marriage or a graduation. Side note,
I need you to look up how people get these tattoos,
because when I first saw that process, I genuinely was like, wow,
these are the toughest people on the planet. But yes,
that is a really big part of what calls people
(17:43):
to have something permanent on their skin. Let's talk about
the second reason we get tattoos, and that is because
it's just an appealing form of art. It's an extension
of our identity through decoration. Now, the first reason was
very deep, it's very identity based. This one is less deep.
Tattoos are pretty. We are just a canvas. Our body
(18:05):
is made to be adorned. Simple as that. Your tattoos
don't need a specific meaning. In a recent episode, actually
a guest was telling me about a friend of hers
who gets random tattoos whenever she feels like it. You know,
she's I think in her fifties, and she'll go into
a tattoo parlor on a Saturday and just say, go
(18:26):
for it, decorate me. You know, if she sees a
cool cartoon, a word she loves, an image, a pattern,
she just does it. I think that is a beautiful
way to think about our body and to think about,
you know, its permanence or lack of permanence in this world.
Something I do always struggle with when it comes to
(18:46):
this though, or I debate with myself when it comes
to should I get a specific tattoo? Should I get
a specific design? Is do I just think this is
cute because it's a trending design? Is this just the
same as a viral sweater or a viral lip balm?
But it is going to be on my body forever?
(19:08):
That's something I consider a lot. If tattoos are self expression,
why is it that a lot of us end up
getting similar tattoos? Like some examples, I can think of
the love heart tattoos everyone was getting on their fingers,
like back in like twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen, Infinity tattoos.
(19:29):
Now it's like micro tattoos, cowboy tattoos, which I think
are really really cute that lion tattoo that everyone used
to get on their finger. None of these are inherently
bad tattoos, but it's interesting that a lot of us
got them at the same time. And I think what
it reflects is like a shared esthetic appreciation, shared cultural trends,
(19:53):
community identity, of course, and you know the Internet is
obviously some parts of the Internet are a communit so
we all kind of feel excited by the same things.
We end up finding beauty in the same things. I think,
just like art in general has different seasons and movements,
like abstract art, the Renaissance, contemporary art, tattoos go through
(20:15):
these kind of seasons as well, and it means that
a lot of people will jump on the bandwagon. Now,
I don't think this is a bad thing, quite honestly.
Like I think, just because you find something beautiful and
someone else also finds that beautiful doesn't mean you are
not unique. I actually think that when I see someone
(20:37):
with these tattoos, I'm like, wow, you are kind of
a tapestry for the culture and age that we're living in.
You know, this is you're a part of history, Like
this is actually quite cool that you have this thing
on your body that I know this is quite morbid.
But say someone was to dig you up in three
(20:57):
thousand years, like that mummy we talked about, and they
found like a tattoo of a heart on your finger.
They could say, oh wow, that must have been important
at the time. That must have been something that was
esthetic to people at the time. And I find that
very very interesting. Okay, we are going to take a
quick break because I'm fully about to shift gears here.
(21:18):
But when I return, let's talk about the role of
tattooing in coping, healing from trauma, and whether this practice
can actually become addictive, all of that and so much more.
After this short break, a few years ago, I came
(21:40):
across an article by someone calling themselves an ink nurse,
and they talked about this idea of ink or tattoo therapy. Essentially,
her take was that everything we feel emotionally and mentally
cannot disappear through the mind alone. It also needs to
(22:02):
be processed by the body. Now, for some people, emotions
are processed through tears and grief, maybe rage, exercise, making art.
For others, the way they process trauma, psychological pain, heartache,
anything that the human soul has kind of gone through
(22:23):
is through tattoos. Why is this the case, Well, firstly,
I think it's because tattoos give us a sense of
control we may be lacking in our ordinary life. In
this way, you know you have this immense power to
do to your body what you wish to do with it,
(22:43):
and it can really help you reclaim your identity by
making it your own through an outward depiction of what
matters to you, or what you find interesting or what
you find beautiful. You're saying, I have complete ownership over
my body, So this is what I'm going to do
with it. I want to talk about one piece of
research that really speaks to this reclaiming and this powerful
(23:08):
healing of tattoos. In particular, this piece of research actually
looked at the association between childhood abuse and neglect with
our likelihood of getting tattoos and piercings. It was conducted
in Germany with over one thousand participants, and they did
find tattoos and piercings more common amongst individuals who reported
(23:33):
childhood abuse and neglect. So they're linking this very deep
emotional suffering with a way of adorning and treating our bodies. Now,
what They also concluded is that body modification in this
sense was actually a very empowering experience for these people,
because although they had suffered this great adversity, they were
(23:57):
now taking back the control. And there was also this
weird sense relating to pain and letting that pain be
self inflicted was actually quite empowering compared to times when
pain had been used against them. It's deeply psychological and
(24:17):
to me, this explanation makes a lot of sense. And
these findings have been corroborated in another piece of research
that was published just a little bit later on. These
researchers talk about how our desire to get specific tattoos,
or even to get tattoos at all, actually gives us
a real peak, a real vision into someone's psyche. Right
(24:43):
what they choose to get on their body is actually
a really i don't know, I don't want to say
interesting again, but it's a very secretive, almost in depth
way of understanding what they've been through and how they
see the world. So this paper, this was published in
two thousand than seventeen. It actually talks about how therapists
(25:04):
can prompt an open discussion with someone using their tattoos,
asking them about their tattoos, asking them about their meaning,
their motivations forgetting them, as a way to kind of
have a breakthrough with a client. Basically, if someone has
a specific piece of art, it's obviously important enough for
(25:26):
them to have put it on their body. So there
must have been some motivation that has caused them to
think that this is a good idea and that this
is what they want. What is that motivation linked to?
What can that tell you about who they are as
a person? Not only that, not only is it linked
to control, Not only is it linked to personality, Tattoos
(25:48):
have also been shown to change how we think about
our bodies. Having that control and being able to make
ourselves into a form of art is so oh mentally
powerful if you are someone who struggles with things like
body dysmorphia or just general unhappiness towards your appearance. There
(26:09):
have been some studies, including a specific one I'm thinking
about from twenty eleven, that showed that right after getting
a tattoo, individuals reportedly feel better about their bodies. They
experience less appearance based anxiety. They also express less fear
of being perceived in that kind of way. Tattoos are
(26:31):
like a psychological armor, and for that reason, they also
influence our emotional state. So our emotional state influences whether
we get them, and then once we do get them,
that has a further impact. It's like a cycle. That
is why tattoos can become addictive, because the process of
(26:52):
getting them makes us feel some sort of way. Anything
that changes our mood such that we associate inactivity with
immediately feeling better has the capacity to become addictive. You know, alcohol,
for example, makes us feel less anxious and more lively.
That emotional association makes it addictive, and phetamines give us
(27:15):
that huge rush, make us feel joyous. Gambling makes us
feel fulfilled by possibility. Tattoos bring us a sense of control,
and according to that same study, they also make us
feel better about how we look. They make us feel
more at peace with our past, and they can make
our lives feel more purposeful and significant. That is a
(27:37):
very addictive feeling. I think a lot of us we
do a lot of things to feel happy in who
we are, to feel at peace with our past, to
feel meaningful in our life. That's pretty addictive. Therefore, getting
tattoos is also addictive. It's a common experience I've heard
from tattoo artists that they will get a client who
(27:59):
has never had a tattoo before, they will give them
their first tattoo, and then a month later this person
will come back and have like dozens because the process
for them is so emotionally satisfying. Some of that comes
down to our experiences with pain. Yes, we mostly want
to avoid it, that's how we're hardwired. But there are
(28:21):
some people who actually find it quite pleasurable and quite
that brings about quite a sense of relief. Some people
find catharsis in the process of getting a tattoo. You
know that there's like this painful experience that then provides
a really amazing result. It lets out pain that they
(28:42):
may be feeling internally. All of this actually creates a
lot of enjoyment that we associate with the process. We
can also get quote unquote addicted to tattooing because of
the role of two chemicals in our body, adrenaline and endorphins.
Endorphins I'm just using as a general way of saying
pleasant chemical messages. So the anticipation of and the pain
(29:06):
that we experience from tattooing that can lead to an
adrenaline rush. This will naturally create a feeling of almost euphoria. Now,
the adrenaline that is released in response to pain is
meant to lessen the painful experience, but it actually means
(29:27):
that we begin to associate the act of getting tattooed with,
you know, a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings. Given
you know, the level of anticipation with any first experience,
that adrenaline rush is going to be heightened. So the
first time you get a tattoo, you are going to
experience the largest adrenaline rush from the specific activity that
(29:52):
you will ever experience. But people will continue to seek
that rush, and that is why we can perhaps explain
people who come back and come back and come back.
It looks like an addiction, but it's more them chasing
a specific feeling. Now, after getting a tattoo, our body
will also naturally release endorphins to soothe our pain, to
(30:16):
target inflammation that also feels amazing. Some of the endorphins
that will be experiencing are natural opioids, natural pain relievers
that we know are extremely addictive. So that combination of
the rush of adrenaline then the emotional and physical comfort
of endorphins may encourage us to keep going back. Now,
(30:39):
this can be a dangerous process, and something that always
comes up in discussions about tattoos is regret. If you're
getting a tattoo after tattoo after tattoo, are you making
the best decisions? Are you being wise about what you
want on your body permanently? Now, this is always going
to come into this discussion, and you'll frequently hear it
(31:01):
from like older generations or people who feel uncertain about tattoos.
They'll ask you like, are you sure you want this
on your body forever? Like you know that this is forever? Right?
Are you sure that thirty year old you or fifty
year old you or eighty year old you, is that
version of yourself going and love it as much as
(31:21):
you do? Now? Like, how do you know this is
a smart decision? I'm going to answer that question for
you right here, right now. You don't. You don't. And
there is potential regret in absolutely everything. So chances are
you might look at that tattoo at some point and say, Eh,
that wasn't the best decision. But I don't think we
(31:44):
need to fear regret all that much. I don't think
it's actually the worst thing that you can ever experience.
I even think about the tattoos that I don't like now,
I still enjoy them for what they meant to me
back then. They're kind of like skull in a way.
You know, they make a good story. They tell something
(32:04):
about my experience, and they bring me a very strange
but very valued connection with my past self, Like I
can tap into exactly what she was thinking at that time,
which I find quite special. And you know, tattoos are
going to change as you get older. They aren't gonna
look the same. They're going to be shaped by age,
(32:26):
and that is something that you can that you should
be remembering. But also these days, like they're not permanent.
I saw that image of Pete Davidson recently when I
was in LA, Like I saw the billboard that he
did for a Reformation, like all of his tattoos gone.
Like it's possible. It's expensive, but it's possible. Probably not
(32:48):
what you should be considering, though, Like if you're getting
a tattoo and you're thinking, oh, whatever, I can remove
it someday, not the mindset you should go in with,
because it is still a painful process and it still
will leave a mark and like this is you should
be thinking of it as permanent. If you want to
get like a semi permanent tattoo, like go and get
(33:09):
those ones that you can like put on with a
wet cloth, Like if you're going and thinking I can
get this removed one day, you know, the easiest way
for that to happen is to just not get it
right now. So I want to briefly talk about some
tips for making the right decision about a tattoo, because
it's important, you know, if you want to get one,
(33:29):
I think that's amazing. I really like mine. I find
them like very decorative, very fun, good conversation starters. But
you want to make smart decisions, like you don't want
your first tattoo to be like an all out like
snake down your entire body, or maybe you do, but
this is what you should be thinking about. The most
common reasons people regret their tattoos, according to a recent
(33:50):
piece of research, is that it was impulsive. So around
thirty five percent of people say I regret it because
it was impulsive, it didn't have a significant meaning, or
they thought it would make them look cool and it doesn't.
What we do find is the more thoughtful and careful
you are about a tattoo, the less likely you are
(34:12):
to regret it. So, if you are thinking about getting
something on your skin before you do, print off that tattoo,
the tattoo design that you have, put it somewhere that
you'd see it every single day to make sure you
don't get sick of it. And I think it's like
recommended to do this for like three to six months.
(34:32):
You know, if this is a tattoo you genuinely want
and then you're going to love, You're still going to
want it in six months, You're still going to want
it in a year. And this is a great insurance
for you to say, Okay, if I had to look
at this every single day, would I still want it? Secondly,
when you start, start small, start with somewhere not visible.
(34:56):
Also just important to see how your body reacts to it,
whether like you actually like the process and you're not
halfway through a tattoo in so much pain regretting it
and it's somewhere really really visible. I think that's just wise.
Don't get tattoos when you're drunk. Oh my lord. I
have friends who have done this. Not only did they
(35:18):
end up looking really bad, because their blood was really thin,
so it leaked. But it really comes down to the
impulsive nature of this. This might be a controversial one,
and it mind sound hypocritical considering I got my first
tattoo when I was eighteen, But if I had to
go back, I would say, don't get a tattoo before
(35:40):
you turn twenty, please. Like I don't know why. That
feels like a good distinction. But the longer you can wait,
the better. I think getting a tattoo young, and I
still think like eighteen, nineteen twenty is quite young. I'm
not saying it's going to increase your chair regretting it.
(36:01):
I'm just saying that getting a tattoo a little bit
older might reduce your chances of regretting it and finally
be safe. And if it costs more, that's not a
bad thing. This is like a permanent accessory for you.
Think about how much you would spend on a really
nice pair of jeans, really nice pair of shoes, on
(36:25):
a handbag like this, Think about cost per wear. Here.
You're going to be wearing this every single day of
your life, so it is an investment. Go to a
good tattoo artist. I have seen so many terrible tattoos
in my day, and on Reddit and on Pinterest and
(36:46):
on Instagram. You don't want to be that. Just because
you want the tattoo really badly right now, you will
still want it in three months when you have a
little bit more money. Trust me, it really makes all
the difference. I am so lucky that one of my
best friends is a tattoo artist and I trust her
more than anyone. And you can really tell the difference
(37:07):
between someone who is really passionate about their craft and
does everything right and someone who is doing tattoos for
five dollars at like somewhere on a strip. More So,
those would be my most significant important tips. Also, maybe
some advice to younger Gemma to baby Gemma around what
(37:28):
she should have done differently. You know what, though, I
want to finish out this episode by saying, it is
your body. It is your body to have regrets about.
It is your body to modify. It is your body
to express and to demonstrate with and to decorate. So yes,
(37:48):
make smart decisions, but don't consider disappointing people as part
of it. Don't consider what other people are going to
think too much. So in this consideration of getting a tattoo.
If it's something that's important to you, if it's something
that you think will ground you, if it's something that
you think will help with healing, and will you know,
(38:09):
perhaps psychologically shift how you see yourself. That is always
going to be worth it in my mind. And if
you just like it and you want a tattoo, do
it like you're young. If you're worried about other people's opinions,
get it somewhere no one can see. Make it quite
an intimate part of you. I actually think it's quite
a beautiful rite of passage. It's something that was on
(38:32):
my bucket list when I'm a kid. I'm glad that
I've done it. And for all the thoughts about it, again,
it just comes down to personal preference and what's going
to make you feel good and what's going to make
you feel happy in the form and the vessel that
you're in. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. Now,
the people who make it this far know that they
(38:53):
will always get a little emoji. So for your emoji,
choose the emotion that you would most want tattooed on
your body. Let's confuse the people who don't listen to
the end, but then pretend they do because they see
the emoji. What are you most likely to want to
get from the little Emoji list? And if you have
(39:15):
a tattoo, let me know. Do you regret any of
your tattoos and why? Let's kind of share the word,
share the knowledge so someone else might not make the
same mistake. I've already told you mine. I regret two
of mine, my twenty two and my one post breakup,
but I still love them, so I hope you still
love yours as well. But please share below, make sure
(39:38):
that you are following and you leave a five star review. Also,
if you have further questions, stories, I don't know comments
about this episode, you can always message me at that
Psychology podcast on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you.
Until next time, though, stay safe, please be kind, be
gentle to yourself, and I will talk to you very
(40:01):
very soon. H
Before we get started. This episode of the podcast does
contain references and discussions of child abuse. If this is
a sensitive topic for you, please reflect on whether you
are ready to listen to this episode. If you don't
feel ready, it will still be here in a week,
a month, a year, whenever it's a better time to listen.
(00:21):
Take care of yourselves, and I'm sending you love and healing.
Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to
the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. Wherever you are in
the world, it is so lovely, so great to have
you here. Back for another episode, as we, of course
(00:43):
break down the psychology of our twenties this week. When
I sat down at my desk and I was deciding
what to talk about this week, what did I want
to discuss, I made the decision to do something a
little bit fun, a little bit different. I wanted to
do an episode there that you might not think has
anything to do with psychology. You know. I feel like
(01:04):
we've done quite a few serious, emotional, very in depth,
somewhat scientific episodes as of late, and I wanted to
kind of do something a bit more fun. One topic
that kept floating to the surface for me was tattoos.
Why do we get them, not just in our twenties,
but at any stage? How important are they to our identity?
(01:27):
Which tattoos do we end up regretting? Which ones do
we not end up regretting. Basically, I want to talk
about the psychology of tattoos, and that, my friends, is
what we are going to do today. I have been
endlessly fascinated by this topic for some time. As someone
with tattoos, I have never actually considered why I got them?
(01:48):
Why was I called to literally get something permanently put
on my body after when I had just turned eighteen?
Why did I decide on specific designs? Why did I
just side on what to get? What was the motivation?
And in thinking about my own intentions with my tattoos,
I uncovered so much research that I did not even
(02:12):
know was out there. I also talked to some of
my friends. I am so lucky to have some incredible
friends in my life who are tattoo artists and who
make a living off of permanent art on somebody else's body,
like there is no other type of art like it.
And I spoke to them and I was like, can
you tell me what you hear? From people who are
(02:32):
getting tattoos. Are you seeing a specific kind of person
get a specific kind of tattoo? Do people ever come
back and say they regret it? Like, tell me about
the emotional experience you have with a client when you
are putting something on their body. And it has just
been so fascinating talking to people about what kind of
(02:53):
feels like quite an innocuous subject. I also found this
interesting piece of research saying that the majority of people
who have tattoos got their first one in their twenties.
Now you may hear that and think that gemma, that
makes sense, right, Depending on where you live, most people
can't get tattoos before they turn eighteen, and even then
(03:16):
you probably don't have the money to get the tattoos
that you want until you're in your twenties. So it
feels like the time a lot of people are doing it.
But it also comes down to the fact that this
decade is when we are in peak identity formation season.
We've had our teen years to really explore, but it's
our twenties where we are really trying to find the
(03:38):
shoe or the outfit or the persona that fits. We
are trying to find our space we are really starting
to feel grounded in who we are. We're kind of
exploring different facets of our identity and sometimes that calls
for expression. It calls for something permanent to represent who
we are and what we're going through. That is where
(04:00):
tattoos come in. And I think of tattoos kind of
as like a testimony to the age you are when
you get them. And maybe in ten twenty years time
you'll look at it and think what was I thinking? Like,
what does this even mean? But maybe it's also, you know,
an important rite of passage to some people. It brings
(04:22):
a sense of certainty. All right, don't want to spoil
the entire episode before we even get into it, but really,
what we are going to do today is just take
a big bite into all the fascinating research to do
with body modification, tattooing, even things like regret, as well
as do a brief kind of dive into some of
(04:44):
the history as well, because this topic has so many
dimensions to it. Without further ado, my lovely listeners, let
us get into the psychology of tattoos. Let's talk briefly
about the history of tattoos, because I feel like the
(05:05):
change in attitudes that we've experienced just in the last
fifty years is really quite striking and worth investigating. Now.
I always get in trouble when I talk about history
on this podcast because there are some very smart people
out there who know a lot more about very specific
topics than me and very graciously correct me when I'm wrong.
(05:27):
But I really did a deep dive into this one.
I used what I think is like the mother of
all guides, the Smithsonian's Worldwide History of Tattoos, to really
go in deep. So I hope that you are all
prepared for a bit of a factual start to this episode.
Some people will incorrectly assume or tell you that tattoos
(05:50):
first emerged in the eighteen hundreds. That cannot be further
from the truth. Humans have been marking their skin in
ritualistic and important ways for literally thousands of years around
the world, across different cultures. Tattoos are really really significant.
(06:12):
I think about you know, the Greeks, they used to
use tattoos to declare love. Indigenous Polynesians used to use
tattoos to tell personal stories. We see them in ancient
Serbian nomads. In Native South Americans, tattoos have this real
(06:33):
core place in the human story, how we express ourselves,
how we signify status, religious beliefs, even as just purely
a form of decoration. So I think what people generally
used to believe is that it was the Egyptians who
were like these so called inventors of inking skin, and
they used to use different kinds of pigments or ground
(06:56):
up insects, and they would insert the you know way
pigment into the skin using a piece of bronze or
like a sharp stick. There's also evidence of a very
famous mummy. It's called Otse the Iceman. If you're a
history buff, you'll know this mummy quite well. That individual
(07:16):
is almost six thousand years old. And when they found
this mummified person, he had tattoos. Six thousand years ago
people were already adorning their skin. Now that is really
the beginning of tattoos as we know it. Let's now
go forward about you know, five, seven hundred years, three
(07:36):
hundred years ago. During this time, specifically in Western cultures,
something changed when it came to our attitudes towards tattoos.
They used to be very culturally maybe religiously significant, and
then they started being considered a sign of being a
criminal or a deviant. They're associated with gangs, behaviors that
(08:00):
society doesn't approve of, and as such, they're banned in
some spaces. Actually, I remember visiting Japan last year and
not being able to enter the onsens or the hot
baths because I had tattoos. So it's still relevant in
some cultures. But we can link a lot of this
(08:21):
stigma back to a specific group of Christian missionaries who
did a really great job at convincing people back then
that tattoos would disfigure the sacred vessel given to us
by God, and consequently they were banned. They were banned
(08:42):
in Christianity, and as Christianity became more widespread, that same
belief was impressed upon different cultures, some of whom did
have a historical, I don't know, historical attachment to tattooing.
Of of course, we know that did not stop people
(09:03):
from doing it, but it did bring about a stigma
that if you got tattoos, you were obviously not a
God fearing individual and therefore you were probably up to
no good. This is how they really became associated with being,
you know, a bit of a rebel, and they became
(09:23):
associated with criminality and counterculture. But around like the nineteen forties,
specifically in America, there was a revival of tattooing in
Western cultures, and slowly more and more people knew someone
with a tattoo, they knew a relative, they knew someone
in the army. Then you know, they kind of thought
(09:45):
about getting one of their own. They have kids with tattoos.
So nowadays, there's some estimates that between thirty to forty
eight percent of people in the country's surveys of countries
like Canada, America, Germany, and Australia, those were the country
is included in these studies, thirty to forty eight percent
of people in those countries have tattoos. Now, if you're
(10:06):
in your twenties, the likelihood that you have a tattoo
is increased. It's around thirty eight to fifty two percent.
So that's showing that, like over time generationally, we have
become a lot more accepting and we're a lot more
normal about this idea. I remember before I got my
first tattoo, I was like still had this like fear
(10:28):
of not being able to find a job, specifically like
if it was visible. But nowadays, like this stigma has
definitely lessened. So there's your little history lesson for the day.
I know this is a psychology podcast. I will not
dwell on it for long, but I do think it's
important to cover because that attitudinal change does play into
(10:49):
the psychology behind why we may be drawn to get
a tattoo. All right, let's talk about that question now,
why why do we feel compelled to put something permanent
on our skin? So, when it comes down to it,
when you're sitting in that tattoo chair, when you're waiting
for the needle to go in, you are probably in
(11:10):
that position because of one of four reasons. The first
is that you're looking to represent something of personal emotional
significance on your body. This is a way of telling
your personal story and your personal beliefs and maybe reaffirming
to yourself what you care about. What's important to you?
(11:32):
Is it family? Is religion? Is it a specific value system.
One of the largest studies ever done on the psychology
of tattoos was conducted in South Africa with university students
between nineteen and thirty five. Now, some of them had tattoos,
some of them were considering it, some of them were
(11:54):
just like absolutely not at all, and the researchers said,
explain your reasoning, and then they imadically grouped the responses. Now,
amongst people who had a tattoo or wanted a tattoo,
twenty five percent of them said the reason I would
want to do it is because this thing has a
personal meaning. It marks a significant experience or struggle for me.
(12:16):
So some of the reasons given were, I got a
tattoo to honor my mother, to honor my siblings, because
it represents my life philosophy, because this really presents what
I was going through at a certain time in my
life and I want to remember it. This idea is
one I actually really want to grab onto for a second,
(12:37):
And it's the idea that tattoos can bring about a
sense of permanence. They can really anchor us to a
specific time and our identity and our feelings and what
we were going through in that moment. It's kind of like,
if I put this on my body, this experience will
always be part of me. I won't forget. I won't
(12:59):
forget that loved one, I won't forget my how capable
I was and how courageous I was to get through
an experience I'll never forget that. This is how I
see life, this is how I choose to live it.
So if our body is just a vessel for our soul,
you know, why not decorate it in the manner of
(13:21):
what is important to you. I find this reason, this
reasoning almost using your body like a journal, in some
ways quite compelling. I have tattoos from specific periods in
my life, and when I think about them, I can
exactly remember what I was going through that made me
(13:42):
believe that this thing was important to get. One in particular,
and I have admitted this to very very few people
is a breakup tattoo. I went through this breakup when
I was eighteen, and it was really awful and I
don't know, it was just it was shrouded in a
(14:02):
lot of I don't know, it was complex. I'll just
say it was complex, and being my first like big heartbreak,
it taught me a lot. And I remember having this
resounding sense of like independence, like no matter what, you
need to be independent, you need to be able to
rely on yourself. You cannot get attached to any one person.
(14:25):
And so I got this like tattoo that represented that,
and now I have a more balanced perspective. But when
I look at that tattoo in the mirror, sometimes I
can exactly remember where I was when I got it.
And I don't just mean physically where I was, but
emotionally and mentally as well. Same for like my twenty
(14:46):
two tattoo. You know, I turned twenty two on the
twenty second of the second twenty twenty two. That felt
very significant to me. It felt very aligned, It felt
like it was something that needed to be held on to,
and you know, actually, quite frankly, like my twenty second
year was an amazing year of my life. Like I
quit my job, I met my boyfriend, I finally felt
(15:09):
happy in the city I was in. I had all
these opportunities. But you know, I do still sometimes look
at it and be like, why did you have to
get that? Why why did you have to get that?
Because you're not twenty two anymore. But I think we'll
talk about regret a little bit later. The biggest reason
for me in that moment was the emotional significance of
where I was, and for other people that it's really
(15:32):
important as well. It really comes down to self identity
and our desire to hold on to the feelings and
encounters that have shaped us, perhaps even using our body
as like a way to communicate who we are and
what we've experienced. I think about Harry Potter tattoos as
(15:53):
a perfect example of this, or any kind of fandom
or religious tattoo. These look called group identification tattoos. You know,
you put something on your body so that if someone
else saw it, they would know, maybe implicitly, what kind
of person you are, or if there were someone who
was interested in the same things, they could be like, oh, friend,
(16:16):
you know, I know who you are. We have this
thing in common even though we've never met. It's like
this form of communication or recognition belonging. It's a form
of belonging. Obviously, that can also take a terrible turn
if people are using hate symbols as a way to
(16:37):
identify a group to which they belong, Like that's this,
that's this philosophy taken to a very negative, dark extreme.
But it is still part of some people's motivations for
getting tattoos. The final value based reason for getting a
tattoo can be for cultural reasons. As we've already explained,
(17:01):
there are so many cultures with an amazing history of tattooing.
I think about our New Zealand and Marie neighbors here
in Australia who get I'm going to try and pronounce
this right tomoco, which is traditional mary tattoos that really
symbolize cultural pride, history story. They can mark like a
(17:22):
significant occasion like a marriage or a graduation. Side note,
I need you to look up how people get these tattoos,
because when I first saw that process, I genuinely was like, wow,
these are the toughest people on the planet. But yes,
that is a really big part of what calls people
(17:43):
to have something permanent on their skin. Let's talk about
the second reason we get tattoos, and that is because
it's just an appealing form of art. It's an extension
of our identity through decoration. Now, the first reason was
very deep, it's very identity based. This one is less deep.
Tattoos are pretty. We are just a canvas. Our body
(18:05):
is made to be adorned. Simple as that. Your tattoos
don't need a specific meaning. In a recent episode, actually
a guest was telling me about a friend of hers
who gets random tattoos whenever she feels like it. You know,
she's I think in her fifties, and she'll go into
a tattoo parlor on a Saturday and just say, go
(18:26):
for it, decorate me. You know, if she sees a
cool cartoon, a word she loves, an image, a pattern,
she just does it. I think that is a beautiful
way to think about our body and to think about,
you know, its permanence or lack of permanence in this world.
Something I do always struggle with when it comes to
(18:46):
this though, or I debate with myself when it comes
to should I get a specific tattoo? Should I get
a specific design? Is do I just think this is
cute because it's a trending design? Is this just the
same as a viral sweater or a viral lip balm?
But it is going to be on my body forever?
(19:08):
That's something I consider a lot. If tattoos are self expression,
why is it that a lot of us end up
getting similar tattoos? Like some examples, I can think of
the love heart tattoos everyone was getting on their fingers,
like back in like twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen, Infinity tattoos.
(19:29):
Now it's like micro tattoos, cowboy tattoos, which I think
are really really cute that lion tattoo that everyone used
to get on their finger. None of these are inherently
bad tattoos, but it's interesting that a lot of us
got them at the same time. And I think what
it reflects is like a shared esthetic appreciation, shared cultural trends,
(19:53):
community identity, of course, and you know the Internet is
obviously some parts of the Internet are a communit so
we all kind of feel excited by the same things.
We end up finding beauty in the same things. I think,
just like art in general has different seasons and movements,
like abstract art, the Renaissance, contemporary art, tattoos go through
(20:15):
these kind of seasons as well, and it means that
a lot of people will jump on the bandwagon. Now,
I don't think this is a bad thing, quite honestly.
Like I think, just because you find something beautiful and
someone else also finds that beautiful doesn't mean you are
not unique. I actually think that when I see someone
(20:37):
with these tattoos, I'm like, wow, you are kind of
a tapestry for the culture and age that we're living in.
You know, this is you're a part of history, Like
this is actually quite cool that you have this thing
on your body that I know this is quite morbid.
But say someone was to dig you up in three
(20:57):
thousand years, like that mummy we talked about, and they
found like a tattoo of a heart on your finger.
They could say, oh wow, that must have been important
at the time. That must have been something that was
esthetic to people at the time. And I find that
very very interesting. Okay, we are going to take a
quick break because I'm fully about to shift gears here.
(21:18):
But when I return, let's talk about the role of
tattooing in coping, healing from trauma, and whether this practice
can actually become addictive, all of that and so much more.
After this short break, a few years ago, I came
(21:40):
across an article by someone calling themselves an ink nurse,
and they talked about this idea of ink or tattoo therapy. Essentially,
her take was that everything we feel emotionally and mentally
cannot disappear through the mind alone. It also needs to
(22:02):
be processed by the body. Now, for some people, emotions
are processed through tears and grief, maybe rage, exercise, making art.
For others, the way they process trauma, psychological pain, heartache,
anything that the human soul has kind of gone through
(22:23):
is through tattoos. Why is this the case, Well, firstly,
I think it's because tattoos give us a sense of
control we may be lacking in our ordinary life. In
this way, you know you have this immense power to
do to your body what you wish to do with it,
(22:43):
and it can really help you reclaim your identity by
making it your own through an outward depiction of what
matters to you, or what you find interesting or what
you find beautiful. You're saying, I have complete ownership over
my body, So this is what I'm going to do
with it. I want to talk about one piece of
research that really speaks to this reclaiming and this powerful
(23:08):
healing of tattoos. In particular, this piece of research actually
looked at the association between childhood abuse and neglect with
our likelihood of getting tattoos and piercings. It was conducted
in Germany with over one thousand participants, and they did
find tattoos and piercings more common amongst individuals who reported
(23:33):
childhood abuse and neglect. So they're linking this very deep
emotional suffering with a way of adorning and treating our bodies. Now,
what They also concluded is that body modification in this
sense was actually a very empowering experience for these people,
because although they had suffered this great adversity, they were
(23:57):
now taking back the control. And there was also this
weird sense relating to pain and letting that pain be
self inflicted was actually quite empowering compared to times when
pain had been used against them. It's deeply psychological and
(24:17):
to me, this explanation makes a lot of sense. And
these findings have been corroborated in another piece of research
that was published just a little bit later on. These
researchers talk about how our desire to get specific tattoos,
or even to get tattoos at all, actually gives us
a real peak, a real vision into someone's psyche. Right
(24:43):
what they choose to get on their body is actually
a really i don't know, I don't want to say
interesting again, but it's a very secretive, almost in depth
way of understanding what they've been through and how they
see the world. So this paper, this was published in
two thousand than seventeen. It actually talks about how therapists
(25:04):
can prompt an open discussion with someone using their tattoos,
asking them about their tattoos, asking them about their meaning,
their motivations forgetting them, as a way to kind of
have a breakthrough with a client. Basically, if someone has
a specific piece of art, it's obviously important enough for
(25:26):
them to have put it on their body. So there
must have been some motivation that has caused them to
think that this is a good idea and that this
is what they want. What is that motivation linked to?
What can that tell you about who they are as
a person? Not only that, not only is it linked
to control, Not only is it linked to personality, Tattoos
(25:48):
have also been shown to change how we think about
our bodies. Having that control and being able to make
ourselves into a form of art is so oh mentally
powerful if you are someone who struggles with things like
body dysmorphia or just general unhappiness towards your appearance. There
(26:09):
have been some studies, including a specific one I'm thinking
about from twenty eleven, that showed that right after getting
a tattoo, individuals reportedly feel better about their bodies. They
experience less appearance based anxiety. They also express less fear
of being perceived in that kind of way. Tattoos are
(26:31):
like a psychological armor, and for that reason, they also
influence our emotional state. So our emotional state influences whether
we get them, and then once we do get them,
that has a further impact. It's like a cycle. That
is why tattoos can become addictive, because the process of
(26:52):
getting them makes us feel some sort of way. Anything
that changes our mood such that we associate inactivity with
immediately feeling better has the capacity to become addictive. You know, alcohol,
for example, makes us feel less anxious and more lively.
That emotional association makes it addictive, and phetamines give us
(27:15):
that huge rush, make us feel joyous. Gambling makes us
feel fulfilled by possibility. Tattoos bring us a sense of control,
and according to that same study, they also make us
feel better about how we look. They make us feel
more at peace with our past, and they can make
our lives feel more purposeful and significant. That is a
(27:37):
very addictive feeling. I think a lot of us we
do a lot of things to feel happy in who
we are, to feel at peace with our past, to
feel meaningful in our life. That's pretty addictive. Therefore, getting
tattoos is also addictive. It's a common experience I've heard
from tattoo artists that they will get a client who
(27:59):
has never had a tattoo before, they will give them
their first tattoo, and then a month later this person
will come back and have like dozens because the process
for them is so emotionally satisfying. Some of that comes
down to our experiences with pain. Yes, we mostly want
to avoid it, that's how we're hardwired. But there are
(28:21):
some people who actually find it quite pleasurable and quite
that brings about quite a sense of relief. Some people
find catharsis in the process of getting a tattoo. You
know that there's like this painful experience that then provides
a really amazing result. It lets out pain that they
(28:42):
may be feeling internally. All of this actually creates a
lot of enjoyment that we associate with the process. We
can also get quote unquote addicted to tattooing because of
the role of two chemicals in our body, adrenaline and endorphins.
Endorphins I'm just using as a general way of saying
pleasant chemical messages. So the anticipation of and the pain
(29:06):
that we experience from tattooing that can lead to an
adrenaline rush. This will naturally create a feeling of almost euphoria. Now,
the adrenaline that is released in response to pain is
meant to lessen the painful experience, but it actually means
(29:27):
that we begin to associate the act of getting tattooed with,
you know, a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings. Given
you know, the level of anticipation with any first experience,
that adrenaline rush is going to be heightened. So the
first time you get a tattoo, you are going to
experience the largest adrenaline rush from the specific activity that
(29:52):
you will ever experience. But people will continue to seek
that rush, and that is why we can perhaps explain
people who come back and come back and come back.
It looks like an addiction, but it's more them chasing
a specific feeling. Now, after getting a tattoo, our body
will also naturally release endorphins to soothe our pain, to
(30:16):
target inflammation that also feels amazing. Some of the endorphins
that will be experiencing are natural opioids, natural pain relievers
that we know are extremely addictive. So that combination of
the rush of adrenaline then the emotional and physical comfort
of endorphins may encourage us to keep going back. Now,
(30:39):
this can be a dangerous process, and something that always
comes up in discussions about tattoos is regret. If you're
getting a tattoo after tattoo after tattoo, are you making
the best decisions? Are you being wise about what you
want on your body permanently? Now, this is always going
to come into this discussion, and you'll frequently hear it
(31:01):
from like older generations or people who feel uncertain about tattoos.
They'll ask you like, are you sure you want this
on your body forever? Like you know that this is forever? Right?
Are you sure that thirty year old you or fifty
year old you or eighty year old you, is that
version of yourself going and love it as much as
(31:21):
you do? Now? Like, how do you know this is
a smart decision? I'm going to answer that question for
you right here, right now. You don't. You don't. And
there is potential regret in absolutely everything. So chances are
you might look at that tattoo at some point and say, Eh,
that wasn't the best decision. But I don't think we
(31:44):
need to fear regret all that much. I don't think
it's actually the worst thing that you can ever experience.
I even think about the tattoos that I don't like now,
I still enjoy them for what they meant to me
back then. They're kind of like skull in a way.
You know, they make a good story. They tell something
(32:04):
about my experience, and they bring me a very strange
but very valued connection with my past self, Like I
can tap into exactly what she was thinking at that time,
which I find quite special. And you know, tattoos are
going to change as you get older. They aren't gonna
look the same. They're going to be shaped by age,
(32:26):
and that is something that you can that you should
be remembering. But also these days, like they're not permanent.
I saw that image of Pete Davidson recently when I
was in LA, Like I saw the billboard that he
did for a Reformation, like all of his tattoos gone.
Like it's possible. It's expensive, but it's possible. Probably not
(32:48):
what you should be considering, though, Like if you're getting
a tattoo and you're thinking, oh, whatever, I can remove
it someday, not the mindset you should go in with,
because it is still a painful process and it still
will leave a mark and like this is you should
be thinking of it as permanent. If you want to
get like a semi permanent tattoo, like go and get
(33:09):
those ones that you can like put on with a
wet cloth, Like if you're going and thinking I can
get this removed one day, you know, the easiest way
for that to happen is to just not get it
right now. So I want to briefly talk about some
tips for making the right decision about a tattoo, because
it's important, you know, if you want to get one,
(33:29):
I think that's amazing. I really like mine. I find
them like very decorative, very fun, good conversation starters. But
you want to make smart decisions, like you don't want
your first tattoo to be like an all out like
snake down your entire body, or maybe you do, but
this is what you should be thinking about. The most
common reasons people regret their tattoos, according to a recent
(33:50):
piece of research, is that it was impulsive. So around
thirty five percent of people say I regret it because
it was impulsive, it didn't have a significant meaning, or
they thought it would make them look cool and it doesn't.
What we do find is the more thoughtful and careful
you are about a tattoo, the less likely you are
(34:12):
to regret it. So, if you are thinking about getting
something on your skin before you do, print off that tattoo,
the tattoo design that you have, put it somewhere that
you'd see it every single day to make sure you
don't get sick of it. And I think it's like
recommended to do this for like three to six months.
(34:32):
You know, if this is a tattoo you genuinely want
and then you're going to love, You're still going to
want it in six months, You're still going to want
it in a year. And this is a great insurance
for you to say, Okay, if I had to look
at this every single day, would I still want it? Secondly,
when you start, start small, start with somewhere not visible.
(34:56):
Also just important to see how your body reacts to it,
whether like you actually like the process and you're not
halfway through a tattoo in so much pain regretting it
and it's somewhere really really visible. I think that's just wise.
Don't get tattoos when you're drunk. Oh my lord. I
have friends who have done this. Not only did they
(35:18):
end up looking really bad, because their blood was really thin,
so it leaked. But it really comes down to the
impulsive nature of this. This might be a controversial one,
and it mind sound hypocritical considering I got my first
tattoo when I was eighteen, But if I had to
go back, I would say, don't get a tattoo before
(35:40):
you turn twenty, please. Like I don't know why. That
feels like a good distinction. But the longer you can wait,
the better. I think getting a tattoo young, and I
still think like eighteen, nineteen twenty is quite young. I'm
not saying it's going to increase your chair regretting it.
(36:01):
I'm just saying that getting a tattoo a little bit
older might reduce your chances of regretting it and finally
be safe. And if it costs more, that's not a
bad thing. This is like a permanent accessory for you.
Think about how much you would spend on a really
nice pair of jeans, really nice pair of shoes, on
(36:25):
a handbag like this, Think about cost per wear. Here.
You're going to be wearing this every single day of
your life, so it is an investment. Go to a
good tattoo artist. I have seen so many terrible tattoos
in my day, and on Reddit and on Pinterest and
(36:46):
on Instagram. You don't want to be that. Just because
you want the tattoo really badly right now, you will
still want it in three months when you have a
little bit more money. Trust me, it really makes all
the difference. I am so lucky that one of my
best friends is a tattoo artist and I trust her
more than anyone. And you can really tell the difference
(37:07):
between someone who is really passionate about their craft and
does everything right and someone who is doing tattoos for
five dollars at like somewhere on a strip. More So,
those would be my most significant important tips. Also, maybe
some advice to younger Gemma to baby Gemma around what
(37:28):
she should have done differently. You know what, though, I
want to finish out this episode by saying, it is
your body. It is your body to have regrets about.
It is your body to modify. It is your body
to express and to demonstrate with and to decorate. So yes,
(37:48):
make smart decisions, but don't consider disappointing people as part
of it. Don't consider what other people are going to
think too much. So in this consideration of getting a tattoo.
If it's something that's important to you, if it's something
that you think will ground you, if it's something that
you think will help with healing, and will you know,
(38:09):
perhaps psychologically shift how you see yourself. That is always
going to be worth it in my mind. And if
you just like it and you want a tattoo, do
it like you're young. If you're worried about other people's opinions,
get it somewhere no one can see. Make it quite
an intimate part of you. I actually think it's quite
a beautiful rite of passage. It's something that was on
(38:32):
my bucket list when I'm a kid. I'm glad that
I've done it. And for all the thoughts about it, again,
it just comes down to personal preference and what's going
to make you feel good and what's going to make
you feel happy in the form and the vessel that
you're in. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. Now,
the people who make it this far know that they
(38:53):
will always get a little emoji. So for your emoji,
choose the emotion that you would most want tattooed on
your body. Let's confuse the people who don't listen to
the end, but then pretend they do because they see
the emoji. What are you most likely to want to
get from the little Emoji list? And if you have
(39:15):
a tattoo, let me know. Do you regret any of
your tattoos and why? Let's kind of share the word,
share the knowledge so someone else might not make the
same mistake. I've already told you mine. I regret two
of mine, my twenty two and my one post breakup,
but I still love them, so I hope you still
love yours as well. But please share below, make sure
(39:38):
that you are following and you leave a five star review. Also,
if you have further questions, stories, I don't know comments
about this episode, you can always message me at that
Psychology podcast on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you.
Until next time, though, stay safe, please be kind, be
gentle to yourself, and I will talk to you very
(40:01):
very soon. H
Host
Jemma Sbeghen
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