July 21, 2022 • 52 mins
Anderson .Paak agrees to do the podcast. WARNING: This episode was haunted by a ghost.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
He's a sexy sexy man, a sexy sexy plan because
he ain't no stuck up looking so flight you could
try like a trucker, clean like a plank and solid, younger,
fool wheel dry so we never get stuck up. He
pray so far to get up a lot of bandwids.
And he's a guy. Yeah, he ain't no standing. He
doesn't have cheese on a nighttime standwich because everybody knows
(00:29):
he's the Burgens. He banded Ron Burgundy Podcast Live from Hollywood, California.
But your hat take out every Ron Bergar. Woh, oh
my godness, thank you, thank you yo, thank you, welcome,
(01:00):
welcome everyone. Great to see you all. Of course I'm
joined by the lovely Carolina. Great to have people out
on a Tuesday night. Thank you guys for buying tickets. Um.
All of the proceeds are going to Mercy Corps, which
is an amazing charity of helping families in the Ukraine
(01:23):
right now, so we really appreciate it and it's very special.
Tonight is our ten thousand podcast and not I'm I
think we've done like fifty tops maybe last Carolina, canna
have a quick sidebar with you look, here's the thing.
(01:47):
They don't know that and and what's the big deal. Well,
you know, they can look it up whether we've done
forty or fifty or two. All they know is that
this is our ten thousand show and it gives them
like it makes it a really special night. You know.
I'm sorry. I think they can hear us right now,
they can't. I called for a sidebar. Do you not
(02:07):
watch Law and Order? Whenever they say let's have a sidebar,
that means everyone in the court has to stop listening,
and it's a professional courtesy. Right now, they're just in
fact whatever they're laughing at. Incidentally, I don't know if
it's a far side cartoon or something, but they're they're
passing around a far side. That's why they keep laughing.
(02:30):
But I've called for a sidebar, so they're not paying
attention to anything we're saying. Okay, so just go with me.
It's our podcasts. Is that wonderful? Yeah? Quick sidebar. I
feel terrible. These people are the stupidest people have ever
(02:50):
seen and we've we're totally lying to them. And if
they don't know it, up, boy, I think we go
back and we're honest. This time, I'm not going to
sleep well to night. No, we can't go back, don't
ever go back. Thank you for that Sideby Anyway podcast.
(03:11):
And we're feeling great excite here to be at Largo.
One of them a wonderful establishment. Um do you know
the Flanagan, the proprietor of this establishment, has told me
that they are currently in construction. They're building a tunnel
underneath La Sienega that's gonna pop up in the middle
(03:34):
of Sin the Gentleman's Club across the way. So if
you want to go see some two for one and
the tell just goes into the middle of the floor
at the middle of Florence and you just pop up
on a cool little elevator with smoke. So that'll be
(03:54):
available spring of wo okay, something to look because he's
having to do the construction himself. That's crazy. It is crazy.
Where is the tunnel going to start? I think it's
starting somewhere in the lobby and uh yeah, they're just
you know, getting a bunch of jackhammers and doing it
(04:16):
on weekends. In fact, if anyone wants to stop buying
weekends and join the jackhammer party and build the tunnel
to Sin You're welcome to stop by it. We have
to talk about last night, So Sunday night, not last night.
I feel like I was last night. Well something happened
(04:37):
to me last night. But let's talk about Sunday night.
Let's talk about Sunday night. Just get it out of
the way. We all saw it. Jacob ALRTI Jacobi got
invited to be on the Oscars and it was like,
what is diacolordy doing out there? Are you? Who are you?
(05:01):
Jacob Lord? You're a tall boy? How does that qualify
you to present at the oscars? He's got baby smooth skin.
I'll know that tall drink of water? I know. Confuse me.
I was like, what my channel Jacob broken? I just
couldn't believe it. I was slack yard. Here's the other
(05:23):
question I have. Why was everyone doing jazz hands during
the show. It's a it's applause in sign language. It's
applause in what in sign language? And sign language does what? Sidebar? Sidebar?
You know what? It's okay, that's a longer episode. Anyway.
(05:49):
You said that you had great news. I've got great news. Okay,
who is right? Uh? I have been selected to host
next year's Oscars. Yes, how who were How did that
(06:12):
come to you? Well, they reached out to my people.
I'm your people, I know you and I are my people.
So they reached out to you. Well, they didn't reach out.
They start with a shortlist and they whittle it down.
But I've got every indication I'm on that short list. There.
They should be calling you soon. I can't wait. I'm
(06:35):
a little worried for you to host the Oscars, but no,
I'm I'm excited and I in fact, I've already started
working on my material and I would love to share
it with you tonight if I could. Yes, okay, alright, great.
I'm not a stand up comedian, so you'll have to
(06:58):
bear with me. Um. These are just a few things
I've jotted down, some notes. Uh. But you know a
lot of a lot of stand ups coming up to
places like Largo, and they work through their acting. So
if you'll, if you'll indulge me, elected work through. So
am I Oscar stand up for next year the Oscars.
(07:24):
M now you're doing tonight. Welcome to the the nine
at four. I don't know what. Okay, they'll tell me.
Welcome to the five Oscars years that will be, I
(07:46):
won't have to worry about that. Great. I see there's
a category for best hair and makeup and the winner
is not G I Jane two. You're okay, You're okay.
(08:13):
Ron looks a little scared, but it's all right, okay.
In fact, there wasn't any hair in makeup. Everyone had
shaved heads. It reminds me. I went to my barber
(08:39):
and I I say, take a little off the top, Pete.
And he says how much? And I say, not as
much as G I Jane too. It's okay. No one's coming,
No one's coming, No one's coming, No, no one's there. No,
(09:00):
I'm just I'm practicing. When my host, well, it's okay,
you got it. You're a you're taking yourself out. You're
taking yourself out. Okay. Uh, I tweaked my back on
that one. I'm not gonna lie to you a little bit. Okay,
(09:22):
what else? What else do I got? No? G I
j And Tune is a great movie. Huh, keep going
with it. Everyone loves it unless you happen to be
ad lies because there's no hair. There's no hair. There's
(09:46):
no hair. Are you going to do neat hair? They
need like a community an environment of hair, and without it,
they're bummed. They can't live. We get it, neurally, got it?
What else? Let's do? Then? I have some over, I
(10:07):
have some regional humor here, we got any people from
the Central Valley Oscar's audience. That'll work right for the
Oscar Maybe maybe it's a little inside baseball for those
of you watching at home. There's a place called the
Central Valley in California. Some people call it the bread Basket.
(10:34):
Uh did someone just say Jesus, give me a break, man,
I'm not a stand up. Hey, why do they call
it Sacramento? Do they make sacred mentos there? You guys
(10:57):
remember mentos? Right? Those odd commercials? They were weird. What
about the kid Cat Bar? Remember kid cat bars? Huh?
What if Bob Dylan did the kid Cat Bar song?
(11:18):
It would go something like this, give me a break,
That's all I got, Give me a break, break me up,
a bit of a kid kid bard. Mm hmm. Let
(11:44):
me write that down. That's an applause break. I don't
want to I forgot to bring my pin out here
with me. All right, Well, make a mental note. Okay,
what else? What the what else is in the news?
Oh oh, have you heard about these self driving cars?
Have these cars now that that drive around without a driver?
(12:10):
What if you're adam driver and you're in the back
seat of a driverless car and a cop pulls you over,
he says, are you the driver? How confusing would that be?
(12:39):
Governor rn De Santis is at it again. That guy
is so weird they should call him Randa Mentos, Right, am,
I right? Anyway, he doesn't want teachers to say the
(12:59):
word gay in the classroom like it's a dirty word.
The only wordy dirt in the only word, the only
the one, hold on, hold on, hold on, the only
flirty dirt and goddamn it, pull it together, on, pull it,
(13:20):
pull your together. Right now, you're on the oscars. For
Christ's sake. You're bleeding out here, buddy, Apply a tourniquet
and get your head screwed on. The only dirty word
(13:42):
in the state of Florida is de Santis. Anyway, we
got a great rest of the show. Uh, she was
a cat woman and he was in cats. Put your
(14:03):
hands together for a halle Berry and who was in cats?
To James Cordon, James Gordon, So there'd be a transition
like that don't. I'd have to worry about that they
would write that for me. But little work in progress,
something i'm you know, noodling with. But thank you, thank
(14:25):
you so much. It's so helpful to work out your material.
I'm gonna say there was there was three g I Jane,
two jokes, okay, so maybe just do too, maybe one tops,
just one tops, okay, all right, Yeah, we're working on
(14:47):
a catchphrase here at the Burgundy Podcast. Yes, this is
fun little audience participation, just if you feel so inclined
to repeat with me. Well, oh whoa, whoa, whoa whoa,
Sorry about that. Um, that happens often here at Largo. Uh.
(15:12):
For those of you who frequent this wonderful theater, you
all are aware, I'm sure by now that it is haunted. Yeah,
and spooky things happen occasionally. Um, but that's just what
are gonna do. It's a quirky place. That's a quirky
(15:33):
little place. Um, but it is haunted. So okay, no
big whoop, no big whoop. Slightly haunted. This is quite
a coup for us because we don't get high quality people,
(15:54):
not really. We just we get a motley rag tag
group and we're happy to have them. We love our guests,
but sometimes but sometimes they blow um and I'm sweating
my nuts off trying to figure out what to talk
to him about top dancing, tap dancing. But tonight we
(16:20):
don't have to worry about to worry about it, Ladies
and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Mr Anderson. Pack. Yes,
(16:40):
and it's a pack. Everyone pas to meet. Great to
see you, my friend. Oh my god, it's right, it's
really him, see I told you, yes, yes, lord? What
what's happening? Like? I never heard of Do you know that? Gentleman? Yeah?
(17:06):
I want to know him. Well, maybe this is maybe
something's gonna happen at the end of the night. Keep
it cool, everyone, keep it cool. Friday? What happened on Friday?
You must be talking about the residency Las Vegas? You
were in Las Vegas. You're currently doing a residency, got
(17:28):
a residency, got a new look? I needed a Vegas look.
You're doing that with Bruno Mars. Is that nice? And
how long has that been going on? We were like
twelve shows now okay, yeah, we have like all of me.
Let's take a little break. But we have a couple
(17:49):
more shows this week. Shows in you and you and
Bruno mar I mean, you guys are a wonderful pair together.
You guys, really are you? You're incredible? Um, I assume
he's a nice guy. Yeah I did too, but okay,
he's fair. Hey, kind of like my father. You just
(18:13):
make your money. You don't talk to each other, get
the job done. Simple yet stern. You go your way.
He goes his way. I like to go his way too, though.
I like picking his brain. He's a little guy. He's
like a little guy. Do you ever just knock him
down to the ground. The way he's built, It's like
(18:33):
I could break you in half. Never seen the shape.
I've never seen a shape like this, probably not since Prince.
Those guys can get into different situations like well, they're
all muscle, all muscle and sin. Yeah, exactly, all condensed. Yes,
like a like a wolverine. I can't believe we have
(19:09):
someone as cool as yourself on the show. Yes, it's
just this is sick. This is amazing. These crowds have
been fantastic. I mean, this crowd is a little dumb,
h but aren't they get the participation award for sure?
Now you're a local guy, you were born in Oxnard,
(19:32):
Ventura County. You were born, What do you remember of St.
John's Regional Medical Center? It was a dark time. Yes.
Do you remember your infancy? Do you remember coming out
of the Yeah. The reason why I ask is because
(19:53):
I've got a bone to pick with St. John's Medical Center.
I was up in one of the beaches there in
stepped on a rusty aboard with six rusty nails sticking
out of it, and I had to go and do
it to get a technics shop there, and they were rude.
They were just rude to me. Where did they say? Well,
they said it's time to pay, and I'm like, I
(20:15):
don't have any money on it. Yeah, depending on when
you go. They don't pay him well enough. So no,
real they birth you, They birth the legend and that's
their claim to fame. It's that in strawberries. That's what
the town is known Anderson strawberries. In fact, your mother
(20:36):
used to farm strawberries, is that correct? That's a sexy fruit.
Oh the shape, how I didn't even think about the shape.
I mean, I like him in champagne. I like dipped
in chocolate. What do you like to what do you
(20:57):
like to put strawberries in probably like a blender, and
do you do you sexily talk to eat strawberries? It
goes into the blender like on the season, I'm gonna
blend you up a little bit. We talked to him
too nice though. It's just okay, it's a fine line. Yeah,
right with my fruit's words to live by. What's another
(21:24):
sexy fruit? Okay? I think a pineapple. Pineapple is kind
of sexy. Dragon fruit. Come quiet. I was gonna say
a TAngelo persimmon, persimmon. Yeah, get me some of that
(21:50):
persimmon juice. Rub it all over my body, let it
drip down my back. It's got me going. Yeah, I'm
going right now too, Carolina. Any thoughts on fruits? I um,
I want to move on to the next question. You're
a singer, you're a songwriter, your rap, you play the drums,
(22:16):
you produce music. Is it too much? When? When does
it start to look like just bragging? It's genius? I
just I think it's better when other people say it.
For me, I try not to listen anything. I just
(22:36):
say I'm just here to be of service, and then
I go to the drums and start singing at the
same time and then I start, you know, dancing and
stuff and just kind of lits peep for itself and
that can gu tiring. But that's why I joined the group.
You know, I'm in a group. Now it sticks on
and I got someone to kind of you can go off,
you can share the burden getting older and there, um,
and they're not as good as you write exactly. You
(22:59):
see how this win. I wouldn't regardless of and and
we're all participating. It's like when I was in eighth grade.
I played with on the sixth grade basketball team and
I just dominated and it felt so good. And I
would laugh at them, aren't hair and a grade back hair?
(23:21):
And these snotty little kids were looking at me and
I was like, what's up, peach, fuzzly? Do something? Yeah,
do something, don't just stand. Yeah, you worked with Christina
agaul What one was that? How do you say your name? Christina?
(23:45):
I can't see it. Christina Aguilera, Yeah, Chris, Yeah, she's
got pipes right, come on? Yeah? Yeah? What did what
did you? Did you guys do a song together? Did
you did a few songs? Um? I produced some stuff,
But the best thing that I ever do with her
(24:06):
is a take the picture next to her Hollywood star,
like at three in the morning, just by yourself. Well,
she called me and she said, what are you doing
on just three in the morning. You know I'm up
by the week. And uh, she said, I'm picking you up.
We're gonna do something. So I went and she got
(24:28):
this escalade from like two thousand four. That's still that's
the best year about That's when they were really caring
about what they did. Run, don't walk, Get an old
four escalador. They don't make them like they used to.
I'm talking DVD play. It's that Fantis arrow where there
was you could watch a little g I j V.
(24:52):
Guess so sorry, and so you're in the old four escalade.
We're having a great time. I'm are we going? It's like,
we're gonna go take a picture next to my Hollywood
star three in the morning. She said, all right, you ready,
get out? Got out? She did selfie back in the car.
Now is it drop my ass off? Did you at
(25:13):
least go to Norms or something? I gotta wake up.
I got thing to do. I was like, yeah, we
can hit Norms, it's on the way. But she had
to wake up and do things. Are you just what
she told me. Yeah, yeah, classic. Yeah. I stayed outside
for a little bit to make sure. Yeah, I saw
her leave. She's a great Hollywood story for our ten
(25:35):
thousand podcasts. Incredible. What was it like working on a
pot farm? I miss it? Yeah, it would have been
so much better now that I don't smoke weed because
I quit recently. Okay, because oh oh, are you guys good?
We're all good? Uh, Anderson, we need to inform you
(26:00):
that this largo is haunted, just so you know. It's
not it's it's less. It's not a big deal. But
is everything all right? Everything alright? On? Hold on, hold on,
hold on God, it's a Colonial ghost Boy for those
(26:22):
our listeners. Colonial ghost Boy has walked onto the stage.
He's looking at us. He's holding a lantern, holding a
lanterns a zombie. He looks both a hundred years old
and six years old at the same time. He has
a devilish, impish grin on his face. He's wearing modern footwear,
(26:46):
which is which is an interesting touch. I can't seems
to be searching for someone something. Uh. Brief history. This
used to be the side of a pub, a British
pub burned to the ground in before the Spanish discovered California,
(27:12):
the and before the Germans discovered San Diego. Uh, I'm
sorry san Diego. H. It's just a lost little boy.
The British were here and they've built a pub on
this site. You must be looking colonial ghost boy. Can
(27:33):
we help you with something? Be gone? Be gone? Oh? Okay,
that was a lot all at once, good at that.
I need your help with that, are you okay? Anderson?
(27:53):
Because my heart is beating like a chinchilla and five
cups of five red bulls. I was trying to come
up with an analogy and kind of I gotta work
out the kinks because when I host the Oscars next year,
I can't I can't be flobbing things like that. Let's
(28:18):
get this back on track. It is right, Dre Snoop,
Kendrick Lamar, Busta Rhymes, Eminem, Bootsy Collins, Brandy Andre three thousand.
(28:38):
You've worked with everybody, I mean everybody the game. You know.
I played jazz flute right, I one of my whole
time favorites. And I sit by the phone for days
waiting for the call. I even when I'm cooking dinner.
I have a hundred foot long word on my phone. Yes,
(29:02):
I still have a landline waiting for that call. I
would love to get on one of your tracks. I would.
I would be like an absolute honor. We're Andre three thousand.
Now I know someone. I have an actor friend who
did a movie with him about ABA basketball, and I
(29:27):
know him very well and he just loved He told
me that Andre was the greatest guy, wonderful musician, loved
his music. But he is he still making music? Okay.
You can get him to make music if you have
a hundred thousand dollars for him. And then he gets
(29:48):
and he's playing flu and it's that's the special paint,
the special talents to get him back money. Yeah. Up.
And it was the best verses ever got on a record.
Blue cheese it's it's uh, it's definitely fetta. Do you
(30:10):
do you refer to hundred dollar bills as blue cheese
c notes? Yeah? Now I know that Andre tho thousand
got big into fashion. Do you think about getting into fashion?
Do you have a fashion line? Act gets into me? Okay,
I hear you, Yeah, yeah, because you know I know
(30:32):
someone who could use some help with their fashion. Uh,
I am fine, pain Okay, we got it. You can
see you pointing out. It's fine, Carolina, It's Carolina. Okay,
(30:56):
I'm not sitting next to sex fifth Avenue over here. Um,
we talked about you produced music and what's that like?
Do you just yell at people? Yeah? Yeah, yep, and
um I produced a lot with my band. What do
you try? How do you help someone to find the
encourage them by breaking them down and build them back up?
(31:19):
You stuck? Do it again? Yes, we're all waiting on you. Friend.
Phrases that used to help me out. Super constructive. If
you like it, I love it. That's cool. So you're
cool with that. Stuff like that, and then they start
to push and producing right there. That's how I was taught. Wow,
(31:39):
I mean I could do it all about myself. I
say that too, but it's kind of hard when I'm
defending on them to a second. But yeah, Now you
played drums during the super Bowl halftime show? Is that right? Eminem' drummer? Yea?
What an incredible some of you? I know me from that. Yeah,
I also have a Now talk about tickets to go.
(32:07):
Let's by the way, let's go residency everyone by, Let's
buy a block of eight tickets, doesn't matter if you
show up or not exactly because Tunnel to Sin Yes,
we do another tunnel, but I want to get back
(32:31):
to this halftime show. An incredible collection of artists. Uh.
Dr dre who's not a medical doctor. I looked it up. Uh,
all of these artists. Dr Drake discovered you as well.
I believe you're there in Inglewood in Compton, in front
(32:53):
of the world playing this music that that is the
heart of l A And are you sitting there thinking
how are the Bengals gonna win this day? I was thinking, like,
I have to time this out perfectly because if they
(33:15):
do win, I don't want to be here. And it
was getting really kind of close, and I'm looking at
my family. I'm like, we could probably be on the
other side of town if things go left, because Los
Angeles is very dramatic sometimes. So, um, did you have
money on the game? No? No, I was just trying
to hold my drumsticks keep you know, like stay focused.
(33:38):
And then I was like, oh, yeah, there's a game too,
and then um, it was an amazing show. Yeah, it
was great, and the whole day. The whole day was
definitely to see stadium full of a lot of uncoordinated
white people just having a great time. It was just
(33:59):
it's just people. Yeah. I like to move my body,
you know. But there was something beautiful about There's something
special about that, the freedom of it all. I've read
(34:30):
somewhere to you that you were a showcase model on
the Prices, right, is that? Yeah? That was the same
day I mack on us. But but did you already
have some level of notoriety notorary? What's the word umary?
Were you already famous? I've signed a few notaries, so
have I. But outside that U, was that just something
(34:55):
you wanted to do as a goof Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah,
I couldn't dig anything bigger. Like I grew up on that.
It was great prices right, showcase showdown. I had to
leave a session earlier, Oh to go do Dr Dre
and Kanye to go do the Prices right. You guys
got it from here, right, I gotta think, just tell
us what it is. It's all good, yeah me. And
(35:19):
then I was like, I got Prices right, and it
was just like they didn't. They seemed disappointed, and I
was they were a little super quiet because I was expecting, like, yo,
that's a mosque. That's crazy, Like, yeah, Dre was just yeah.
I was like, all right, well, maybe were they jealous?
(35:41):
I think so too it maybe they were so shocked
and jealous they were like this dude just flexed. It
came off as a disdained, arrogant. I just love that
you did that. Yeah. When I got on there, it
was got to do the whole running down the island presenting.
(36:08):
Did you practice, Yeah, it's a skateboard. Yeah, it was
say talking to the models, that's a rough life. Yeah,
did you think about just throwing it all away? And
I was gonna be a model and then was a spokesmodel. Yeah,
in between commercials you talked to the model, the dude
(36:29):
that's been with no shirt on for like eight hours
trying to keep like it's probably the only it's probably
the last bastion of spokesmodels prices, right, that's right, that's
the only place where you can judge and step on TV.
That's true. There's a lot of venues you can watch
spokes models and that are not televised. Yes, yes, I'm
(36:52):
forgetting that. I mean they're in Pickin, Like I've seen
a picture of your boy, your son, Uh, and he
looks like the coolest kid I've ever seen. I mean,
if I had a boy who was cooler than me,
(37:13):
I'd be so jealous of I'd lock him in the basement.
How I mean, how do you? How do you? How
do you deal? We learned if you can't beat him,
you got to join him. I start helping him out.
I was like, oh, you want subscribers, Okay, you know
you gotta do skits. Where's your bits? They don't You
don't have an exciting life. You can't be a vlogger.
You're just like you're home school, you know. Like so
(37:35):
I directed his bits now and he got it. He's
up to tink tin Case subs, tin Case subs on YouTube.
He wants to be a tin Case. He subs, I'm
talking content doesn't just sidebar? What does that mean? It's
(37:57):
like ten subscribers and it's just shortened up? Can't me? Dad?
Does he hope? Does he want to get to eleven k?
He got to tin and he just kind of was
like over. He got into all the work we did.
(38:19):
I mean, I have footage, a whole plot, like a line.
I was gonna do, no drive, he spoiled. I have
two of them now too. I always again, I have
a four year old two now not as cool. The
four year old, Yeah, born into Money's just no chance,
(38:39):
is is I ruined him. It's kind of like that
tail as old as the middle age this and I
just continue to spoil him. I can't stop. Well, that's
what we do. Great. I mean they say you're only
as happy as your unhappiest jobs, right, so I thank
(39:06):
you for that. Will give him whatever they want right
here you go. I mean, when you're getting back, you're
gonna have to do that residency for twenty years show. Yes,
a lot of show, Yeah, a lot of shows. Work
something out with Copperfield. So I'm in the groups. You
do something extraordinary, something that I just find incredibly astounding.
(39:30):
You played drums and you sing at the same time.
I mean, I'm trying to think of other musicians you've
done that. The first Phil Collins possibly, um but uh
oh yeah, well Collins sounds Fleetwood Mac. Did he sing
(39:53):
it all? Mick Fleetwood? I mean Fleetwood Mac. That's the
name of mad. Maybe I could throw that into the
stand up. Would you indulge just with some plague any
would you? It would be an honor right would never
(40:16):
be able. Well, I'm let's see, this is the hip poppy. No, Bobby,
(40:37):
don't ask me. I'm just so crush up and crush
it so clean, don't shoot down so sassy. I'm just
so cushop brush so clean clean. You know, the list
goes on and on. Who I guess I'm excited. I
know if anybody's gonna know it? So still Atlanta? Is
(41:03):
that where you're from? To the window Toma? That song
just got it? Didn't know? That's called when songs get
better with times you're not feeling it didn't did it?
(41:26):
It still feels good to sing the swems off my ba.
Is that where we're going? That was the song of
my youth? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. My generation is lyrics,
like yeah right, we made lyrics a bit like what
(41:48):
can I just yeah, that scares the hell out of
me to sing and to play drums. I just don't
know how you do it. It's nothing to be scared about, Broake,
Are you sure it's honest? I mean they say you
should always try things that scare you. Uh, okay, on
(42:13):
big fella, okay, okay, all right? Oh was I gonna
sit on your lap? Oh is that hell? Lessons are well,
that's a weird drum school. Then okay, I'll just dive in,
(42:34):
right mm hmm, Okay, take my time as I'm singing
(43:03):
and playing the drums at the same time. And now
that I'm doing it, it's not as hard as I drunk.
In fact, I'm pretty darn good at this. It's a
(43:27):
pleasing time I make when I sing and played drums.
Maybe someone will record this and put it on a
sleep machine. Whoa, whoa, that's pretty good. Um, all right, everyone,
(43:48):
just stay time, get up, get up. That's probably what
made him. That's fine, don't make it mad. Oh no,
the girl boy has returned? Ah? What is he looking for?
What happens to this poor little boy? I just want
(44:10):
to make sure that's something. What are you doing? What
are you checking him from? Just making sure he doesn't
have a doesn't have a ghost gun on him? He's clean?
What happened to you? Little boy? Can tell us what
(44:30):
happened to you? What haunts you? Can you whisper it?
Can you whisper? Oh? My god? Is he okay? He
murdered his whole entire family, all right, on this night,
this very spot. Three years ago. That can't be good
(44:52):
for us. Are you looking to murder again? Is it
someone here in this audience? M hm? Can you point
them out? Someone out there? Where are they? Oh? Not?
Are you? That is so rude? Thank god, it wasn't me.
(45:16):
I knew it wasn't gonna be Anderson for sure, he's
got a residency. I think we just have to get
him out of Oh I forgot. I have an agent
scroll a ghost. I always keep it next to the
beanie babies just in case. Okay, ye ghost, ye ghost,
(45:40):
Ye little boy Google, stop haunting Largo. We'd like to say,
chow chow chow. It worked. Wow ancient Italian spell Italian? Yes,
(46:07):
very savvy. Um Anderson, we can't thank you enough for
coming on tonight. You're an amazing artist. Anderson bark everyone,
Anderson bark. Oh my god. Now that's a star. I
(46:37):
always tell you you can see it. But mile a way.
When he walks into the room, it was it was
Boner city out there, you know what I mean. Oh
bo ouga uga. I'm afraid we're at the end of
our show. I know we've come to but I have
one last stegment. I like to end with a little
thing I like to call my take. Yeah, uh, I'll
(47:05):
just get out of here. One of the great quotes
in history, and I forget who said it. Whether it
(47:30):
was Buddha Gandhi or John F. Kennedy, it doesn't really matter.
The quote goes something like this, love makes you do
crazy things. Now, over the years, I have had many loves,
(47:57):
and I have been guilty of being crazy in love,
no question. I have loved people and objects as hard
as anyone could love, especially chocolate. Don't get me going
on chocolate. I'm a chocoholic. Dark chocolate, semi sweet milk,
(48:17):
yum yum yum. But I digress. I guess the big
question we're trying to ask ourselves is can love actually
make you do crazy things? Can you just walk onto
a commercial airline flight, refuse to wear a mask, and
then proclaim you know why I refuse to wear a
(48:40):
mask because I'm in love. I'm in love and I
don't care who knows it. Can I just walk into
my local Starbucks and start urinating on the wall. Yeah,
(49:01):
and when the staff says, sir, what are you doing?
There's a restroom just two ft away from you, I
can say I know I see it. I'm not blind.
I'm in love, and I'm going to direct my firm
hot urine stream so that it douses everything in your star.
(49:30):
Can I steal a car from a showroom floor, then
lead law enforcement on a six hour slow speed chase,
and then when they're cuffing me on the ground and
ask me why I did it? I can bellow. I
don't know what to say, but I'm in love. Cupid
(49:51):
arrow hit me and I was overcome with the need
to steal a fully loaded forward focus. These are the
questions that have baffled mankind for centuries. Experts say that
two people who are only vaguely attracted to each other
(50:12):
can fall madly in love if they go through a
scary or exciting experience together. Boy, don't I know it.
I was once trapped in a well for two weeks
with a with a Mexican guy named Alessandro Patadina, and
it was scary and exciting and we fell for each
(50:36):
other hard, nothing crazy, just some hand holding and he
would occasionally caress my cheek. We were eventually rescued, and
when we got back on solid ground and the cheering
was over, we looked at each other and realized the
spell was broken. Just like that, we were no longer
(50:57):
in love. So it was love just a chemical action?
Is it spiritual? Who knows? We all just need to
love and be willing to be loved. Do me a
favor when you go home tonight, grab your loved one
or ones, hold them tenderly, look them in the eye,
(51:20):
and then bite them as hard as you can in
a cheek and then just say I'm sorry. I know
that was crazy. I love you. And if we all
just took a moment to do that to the people
we care about, the world would be a better place.
(51:42):
I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my take on than what
that grag s sis me because he stuck looking so
fine to dry like a chuckle like a fla saw
him duncker fo we'll dry so we never gets a
(52:03):
duck fright so far to get up a lot of
band wins. And he's a guy. He ain't no stand
and he doesn't have he's on a nighttime sandwich because
everybody knows he's the Burgunzi bandit. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
He's a sexy sexy man, a sexy sexy plan because
he ain't no stuck up looking so flight you could
try like a trucker, clean like a plank and solid, younger,
fool wheel dry so we never get stuck up. He
pray so far to get up a lot of bandwids.
And he's a guy. Yeah, he ain't no standing. He
doesn't have cheese on a nighttime standwich because everybody knows
(00:29):
he's the Burgens. He banded Ron Burgundy Podcast Live from Hollywood, California.
But your hat take out every Ron Bergar. Woh, oh
my godness, thank you, thank you yo, thank you, welcome,
(01:00):
welcome everyone. Great to see you all. Of course I'm
joined by the lovely Carolina. Great to have people out
on a Tuesday night. Thank you guys for buying tickets. Um.
All of the proceeds are going to Mercy Corps, which
is an amazing charity of helping families in the Ukraine
(01:23):
right now, so we really appreciate it and it's very special.
Tonight is our ten thousand podcast and not I'm I
think we've done like fifty tops maybe last Carolina, canna
have a quick sidebar with you look, here's the thing.
(01:47):
They don't know that and and what's the big deal. Well,
you know, they can look it up whether we've done
forty or fifty or two. All they know is that
this is our ten thousand show and it gives them
like it makes it a really special night. You know.
I'm sorry. I think they can hear us right now,
they can't. I called for a sidebar. Do you not
(02:07):
watch Law and Order? Whenever they say let's have a sidebar,
that means everyone in the court has to stop listening,
and it's a professional courtesy. Right now, they're just in
fact whatever they're laughing at. Incidentally, I don't know if
it's a far side cartoon or something, but they're they're
passing around a far side. That's why they keep laughing.
(02:30):
But I've called for a sidebar, so they're not paying
attention to anything we're saying. Okay, so just go with me.
It's our podcasts. Is that wonderful? Yeah? Quick sidebar. I
feel terrible. These people are the stupidest people have ever
(02:50):
seen and we've we're totally lying to them. And if
they don't know it, up, boy, I think we go
back and we're honest. This time, I'm not going to
sleep well to night. No, we can't go back, don't
ever go back. Thank you for that Sideby Anyway podcast.
(03:11):
And we're feeling great excite here to be at Largo.
One of them a wonderful establishment. Um do you know
the Flanagan, the proprietor of this establishment, has told me
that they are currently in construction. They're building a tunnel
underneath La Sienega that's gonna pop up in the middle
(03:34):
of Sin the Gentleman's Club across the way. So if
you want to go see some two for one and
the tell just goes into the middle of the floor
at the middle of Florence and you just pop up
on a cool little elevator with smoke. So that'll be
(03:54):
available spring of wo okay, something to look because he's
having to do the construction himself. That's crazy. It is crazy.
Where is the tunnel going to start? I think it's
starting somewhere in the lobby and uh yeah, they're just
you know, getting a bunch of jackhammers and doing it
(04:16):
on weekends. In fact, if anyone wants to stop buying
weekends and join the jackhammer party and build the tunnel
to Sin You're welcome to stop by it. We have
to talk about last night, So Sunday night, not last night.
I feel like I was last night. Well something happened
(04:37):
to me last night. But let's talk about Sunday night.
Let's talk about Sunday night. Just get it out of
the way. We all saw it. Jacob ALRTI Jacobi got
invited to be on the Oscars and it was like,
what is diacolordy doing out there? Are you? Who are you?
(05:01):
Jacob Lord? You're a tall boy? How does that qualify
you to present at the oscars? He's got baby smooth skin.
I'll know that tall drink of water? I know. Confuse me.
I was like, what my channel Jacob broken? I just
couldn't believe it. I was slack yard. Here's the other
(05:23):
question I have. Why was everyone doing jazz hands during
the show. It's a it's applause in sign language. It's
applause in what in sign language? And sign language does what? Sidebar? Sidebar?
You know what? It's okay, that's a longer episode. Anyway.
(05:49):
You said that you had great news. I've got great news. Okay,
who is right? Uh? I have been selected to host
next year's Oscars. Yes, how who were How did that
(06:12):
come to you? Well, they reached out to my people.
I'm your people, I know you and I are my people.
So they reached out to you. Well, they didn't reach out.
They start with a shortlist and they whittle it down.
But I've got every indication I'm on that short list. There.
They should be calling you soon. I can't wait. I'm
(06:35):
a little worried for you to host the Oscars, but no,
I'm I'm excited and I in fact, I've already started
working on my material and I would love to share
it with you tonight if I could. Yes, okay, alright, great.
I'm not a stand up comedian, so you'll have to
(06:58):
bear with me. Um. These are just a few things
I've jotted down, some notes. Uh. But you know a
lot of a lot of stand ups coming up to
places like Largo, and they work through their acting. So
if you'll, if you'll indulge me, elected work through. So
am I Oscar stand up for next year the Oscars.
(07:24):
M now you're doing tonight. Welcome to the the nine
at four. I don't know what. Okay, they'll tell me.
Welcome to the five Oscars years that will be, I
(07:46):
won't have to worry about that. Great. I see there's
a category for best hair and makeup and the winner
is not G I Jane two. You're okay, You're okay.
(08:13):
Ron looks a little scared, but it's all right, okay.
In fact, there wasn't any hair in makeup. Everyone had
shaved heads. It reminds me. I went to my barber
(08:39):
and I I say, take a little off the top, Pete.
And he says how much? And I say, not as
much as G I Jane too. It's okay. No one's coming,
No one's coming, No one's coming, No, no one's there. No,
(09:00):
I'm just I'm practicing. When my host, well, it's okay,
you got it. You're a you're taking yourself out. You're
taking yourself out. Okay. Uh, I tweaked my back on
that one. I'm not gonna lie to you a little bit. Okay,
(09:22):
what else? What else do I got? No? G I
j And Tune is a great movie. Huh, keep going
with it. Everyone loves it unless you happen to be
ad lies because there's no hair. There's no hair. There's
(09:46):
no hair. Are you going to do neat hair? They
need like a community an environment of hair, and without it,
they're bummed. They can't live. We get it, neurally, got it?
What else? Let's do? Then? I have some over, I
(10:07):
have some regional humor here, we got any people from
the Central Valley Oscar's audience. That'll work right for the
Oscar Maybe maybe it's a little inside baseball for those
of you watching at home. There's a place called the
Central Valley in California. Some people call it the bread Basket.
(10:34):
Uh did someone just say Jesus, give me a break, man,
I'm not a stand up. Hey, why do they call
it Sacramento? Do they make sacred mentos there? You guys
(10:57):
remember mentos? Right? Those odd commercials? They were weird. What
about the kid Cat Bar? Remember kid cat bars? Huh?
What if Bob Dylan did the kid Cat Bar song?
(11:18):
It would go something like this, give me a break,
That's all I got, Give me a break, break me up,
a bit of a kid kid bard. Mm hmm. Let
(11:44):
me write that down. That's an applause break. I don't
want to I forgot to bring my pin out here
with me. All right, Well, make a mental note. Okay,
what else? What the what else is in the news?
Oh oh, have you heard about these self driving cars?
Have these cars now that that drive around without a driver?
(12:10):
What if you're adam driver and you're in the back
seat of a driverless car and a cop pulls you over,
he says, are you the driver? How confusing would that be?
(12:39):
Governor rn De Santis is at it again. That guy
is so weird they should call him Randa Mentos, Right, am,
I right? Anyway, he doesn't want teachers to say the
(12:59):
word gay in the classroom like it's a dirty word.
The only wordy dirt in the only word, the only
the one, hold on, hold on, hold on, the only
flirty dirt and goddamn it, pull it together, on, pull it,
(13:20):
pull your together. Right now, you're on the oscars. For
Christ's sake. You're bleeding out here, buddy, Apply a tourniquet
and get your head screwed on. The only dirty word
(13:42):
in the state of Florida is de Santis. Anyway, we
got a great rest of the show. Uh, she was
a cat woman and he was in cats. Put your
(14:03):
hands together for a halle Berry and who was in cats?
To James Cordon, James Gordon, So there'd be a transition
like that don't. I'd have to worry about that they
would write that for me. But little work in progress,
something i'm you know, noodling with. But thank you, thank
(14:25):
you so much. It's so helpful to work out your material.
I'm gonna say there was there was three g I Jane,
two jokes, okay, so maybe just do too, maybe one tops,
just one tops, okay, all right, Yeah, we're working on
(14:47):
a catchphrase here at the Burgundy Podcast. Yes, this is
fun little audience participation, just if you feel so inclined
to repeat with me. Well, oh whoa, whoa, whoa whoa,
Sorry about that. Um, that happens often here at Largo. Uh.
(15:12):
For those of you who frequent this wonderful theater, you
all are aware, I'm sure by now that it is haunted. Yeah,
and spooky things happen occasionally. Um, but that's just what
are gonna do. It's a quirky place. That's a quirky
(15:33):
little place. Um, but it is haunted. So okay, no
big whoop, no big whoop. Slightly haunted. This is quite
a coup for us because we don't get high quality people,
(15:54):
not really. We just we get a motley rag tag
group and we're happy to have them. We love our guests,
but sometimes but sometimes they blow um and I'm sweating
my nuts off trying to figure out what to talk
to him about top dancing, tap dancing. But tonight we
(16:20):
don't have to worry about to worry about it, Ladies
and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Mr Anderson. Pack. Yes,
(16:40):
and it's a pack. Everyone pas to meet. Great to
see you, my friend. Oh my god, it's right, it's
really him, see I told you, yes, yes, lord? What
what's happening? Like? I never heard of Do you know that? Gentleman? Yeah?
(17:06):
I want to know him. Well, maybe this is maybe
something's gonna happen at the end of the night. Keep
it cool, everyone, keep it cool. Friday? What happened on Friday?
You must be talking about the residency Las Vegas? You
were in Las Vegas. You're currently doing a residency, got
(17:28):
a residency, got a new look? I needed a Vegas look.
You're doing that with Bruno Mars. Is that nice? And
how long has that been going on? We were like
twelve shows now okay, yeah, we have like all of me.
Let's take a little break. But we have a couple
(17:49):
more shows this week. Shows in you and you and
Bruno mar I mean, you guys are a wonderful pair together.
You guys, really are you? You're incredible? Um, I assume
he's a nice guy. Yeah I did too, but okay,
he's fair. Hey, kind of like my father. You just
(18:13):
make your money. You don't talk to each other, get
the job done. Simple yet stern. You go your way.
He goes his way. I like to go his way too, though.
I like picking his brain. He's a little guy. He's
like a little guy. Do you ever just knock him
down to the ground. The way he's built, It's like
(18:33):
I could break you in half. Never seen the shape.
I've never seen a shape like this, probably not since Prince.
Those guys can get into different situations like well, they're
all muscle, all muscle and sin. Yeah, exactly, all condensed. Yes,
like a like a wolverine. I can't believe we have
(19:09):
someone as cool as yourself on the show. Yes, it's
just this is sick. This is amazing. These crowds have
been fantastic. I mean, this crowd is a little dumb,
h but aren't they get the participation award for sure?
Now you're a local guy, you were born in Oxnard,
(19:32):
Ventura County. You were born, What do you remember of St.
John's Regional Medical Center? It was a dark time. Yes.
Do you remember your infancy? Do you remember coming out
of the Yeah. The reason why I ask is because
(19:53):
I've got a bone to pick with St. John's Medical Center.
I was up in one of the beaches there in
stepped on a rusty aboard with six rusty nails sticking
out of it, and I had to go and do
it to get a technics shop there, and they were rude.
They were just rude to me. Where did they say? Well,
they said it's time to pay, and I'm like, I
(20:15):
don't have any money on it. Yeah, depending on when
you go. They don't pay him well enough. So no,
real they birth you, They birth the legend and that's
their claim to fame. It's that in strawberries. That's what
the town is known Anderson strawberries. In fact, your mother
(20:36):
used to farm strawberries, is that correct? That's a sexy fruit.
Oh the shape, how I didn't even think about the shape.
I mean, I like him in champagne. I like dipped
in chocolate. What do you like to what do you
(20:57):
like to put strawberries in probably like a blender, and
do you do you sexily talk to eat strawberries? It
goes into the blender like on the season, I'm gonna
blend you up a little bit. We talked to him
too nice though. It's just okay, it's a fine line. Yeah,
right with my fruit's words to live by. What's another
(21:24):
sexy fruit? Okay? I think a pineapple. Pineapple is kind
of sexy. Dragon fruit. Come quiet. I was gonna say
a TAngelo persimmon, persimmon. Yeah, get me some of that
(21:50):
persimmon juice. Rub it all over my body, let it
drip down my back. It's got me going. Yeah, I'm
going right now too, Carolina. Any thoughts on fruits? I um,
I want to move on to the next question. You're
a singer, you're a songwriter, your rap, you play the drums,
(22:16):
you produce music. Is it too much? When? When does
it start to look like just bragging? It's genius? I
just I think it's better when other people say it.
For me, I try not to listen anything. I just
(22:36):
say I'm just here to be of service, and then
I go to the drums and start singing at the
same time and then I start, you know, dancing and
stuff and just kind of lits peep for itself and
that can gu tiring. But that's why I joined the group.
You know, I'm in a group. Now it sticks on
and I got someone to kind of you can go off,
you can share the burden getting older and there, um,
and they're not as good as you write exactly. You
(22:59):
see how this win. I wouldn't regardless of and and
we're all participating. It's like when I was in eighth grade.
I played with on the sixth grade basketball team and
I just dominated and it felt so good. And I
would laugh at them, aren't hair and a grade back hair?
(23:21):
And these snotty little kids were looking at me and
I was like, what's up, peach, fuzzly? Do something? Yeah,
do something, don't just stand. Yeah, you worked with Christina
agaul What one was that? How do you say your name? Christina?
(23:45):
I can't see it. Christina Aguilera, Yeah, Chris, Yeah, she's
got pipes right, come on? Yeah? Yeah? What did what
did you? Did you guys do a song together? Did
you did a few songs? Um? I produced some stuff,
But the best thing that I ever do with her
(24:06):
is a take the picture next to her Hollywood star,
like at three in the morning, just by yourself. Well,
she called me and she said, what are you doing
on just three in the morning. You know I'm up
by the week. And uh, she said, I'm picking you up.
We're gonna do something. So I went and she got
(24:28):
this escalade from like two thousand four. That's still that's
the best year about That's when they were really caring
about what they did. Run, don't walk, Get an old
four escalador. They don't make them like they used to.
I'm talking DVD play. It's that Fantis arrow where there
was you could watch a little g I j V.
(24:52):
Guess so sorry, and so you're in the old four escalade.
We're having a great time. I'm are we going? It's like,
we're gonna go take a picture next to my Hollywood
star three in the morning. She said, all right, you ready,
get out? Got out? She did selfie back in the car.
Now is it drop my ass off? Did you at
(25:13):
least go to Norms or something? I gotta wake up.
I got thing to do. I was like, yeah, we
can hit Norms, it's on the way. But she had
to wake up and do things. Are you just what
she told me. Yeah, yeah, classic. Yeah. I stayed outside
for a little bit to make sure. Yeah, I saw
her leave. She's a great Hollywood story for our ten
(25:35):
thousand podcasts. Incredible. What was it like working on a
pot farm? I miss it? Yeah, it would have been
so much better now that I don't smoke weed because
I quit recently. Okay, because oh oh, are you guys good?
We're all good? Uh, Anderson, we need to inform you
(26:00):
that this largo is haunted, just so you know. It's
not it's it's less. It's not a big deal. But
is everything all right? Everything alright? On? Hold on, hold on,
hold on God, it's a Colonial ghost Boy for those
(26:22):
our listeners. Colonial ghost Boy has walked onto the stage.
He's looking at us. He's holding a lantern, holding a
lanterns a zombie. He looks both a hundred years old
and six years old at the same time. He has
a devilish, impish grin on his face. He's wearing modern footwear,
(26:46):
which is which is an interesting touch. I can't seems
to be searching for someone something. Uh. Brief history. This
used to be the side of a pub, a British
pub burned to the ground in before the Spanish discovered California,
(27:12):
the and before the Germans discovered San Diego. Uh, I'm
sorry san Diego. H. It's just a lost little boy.
The British were here and they've built a pub on
this site. You must be looking colonial ghost boy. Can
(27:33):
we help you with something? Be gone? Be gone? Oh? Okay,
that was a lot all at once, good at that.
I need your help with that, are you okay? Anderson?
(27:53):
Because my heart is beating like a chinchilla and five
cups of five red bulls. I was trying to come
up with an analogy and kind of I gotta work
out the kinks because when I host the Oscars next year,
I can't I can't be flobbing things like that. Let's
(28:18):
get this back on track. It is right, Dre Snoop,
Kendrick Lamar, Busta Rhymes, Eminem, Bootsy Collins, Brandy Andre three thousand.
(28:38):
You've worked with everybody, I mean everybody the game. You know.
I played jazz flute right, I one of my whole
time favorites. And I sit by the phone for days
waiting for the call. I even when I'm cooking dinner.
I have a hundred foot long word on my phone. Yes,
(29:02):
I still have a landline waiting for that call. I
would love to get on one of your tracks. I would.
I would be like an absolute honor. We're Andre three thousand.
Now I know someone. I have an actor friend who
did a movie with him about ABA basketball, and I
(29:27):
know him very well and he just loved He told
me that Andre was the greatest guy, wonderful musician, loved
his music. But he is he still making music? Okay.
You can get him to make music if you have
a hundred thousand dollars for him. And then he gets
(29:48):
and he's playing flu and it's that's the special paint,
the special talents to get him back money. Yeah. Up.
And it was the best verses ever got on a record.
Blue cheese it's it's uh, it's definitely fetta. Do you
(30:10):
do you refer to hundred dollar bills as blue cheese
c notes? Yeah? Now I know that Andre tho thousand
got big into fashion. Do you think about getting into fashion?
Do you have a fashion line? Act gets into me? Okay,
I hear you, Yeah, yeah, because you know I know
(30:32):
someone who could use some help with their fashion. Uh,
I am fine, pain Okay, we got it. You can
see you pointing out. It's fine, Carolina, It's Carolina. Okay,
(30:56):
I'm not sitting next to sex fifth Avenue over here. Um,
we talked about you produced music and what's that like?
Do you just yell at people? Yeah? Yeah, yep, and
um I produced a lot with my band. What do
you try? How do you help someone to find the
encourage them by breaking them down and build them back up?
(31:19):
You stuck? Do it again? Yes, we're all waiting on you. Friend.
Phrases that used to help me out. Super constructive. If
you like it, I love it. That's cool. So you're
cool with that. Stuff like that, and then they start
to push and producing right there. That's how I was taught. Wow,
(31:39):
I mean I could do it all about myself. I
say that too, but it's kind of hard when I'm
defending on them to a second. But yeah, Now you
played drums during the super Bowl halftime show? Is that right? Eminem' drummer? Yea?
What an incredible some of you? I know me from that. Yeah,
I also have a Now talk about tickets to go.
(32:07):
Let's by the way, let's go residency everyone by, Let's
buy a block of eight tickets, doesn't matter if you
show up or not exactly because Tunnel to Sin Yes,
we do another tunnel, but I want to get back
(32:31):
to this halftime show. An incredible collection of artists. Uh.
Dr dre who's not a medical doctor. I looked it up. Uh,
all of these artists. Dr Drake discovered you as well.
I believe you're there in Inglewood in Compton, in front
(32:53):
of the world playing this music that that is the
heart of l A And are you sitting there thinking
how are the Bengals gonna win this day? I was thinking, like,
I have to time this out perfectly because if they
(33:15):
do win, I don't want to be here. And it
was getting really kind of close, and I'm looking at
my family. I'm like, we could probably be on the
other side of town if things go left, because Los
Angeles is very dramatic sometimes. So, um, did you have
money on the game? No? No, I was just trying
to hold my drumsticks keep you know, like stay focused.
(33:38):
And then I was like, oh, yeah, there's a game too,
and then um, it was an amazing show. Yeah, it
was great, and the whole day. The whole day was
definitely to see stadium full of a lot of uncoordinated
white people just having a great time. It was just
(33:59):
it's just people. Yeah. I like to move my body,
you know. But there was something beautiful about There's something
special about that, the freedom of it all. I've read
(34:30):
somewhere to you that you were a showcase model on
the Prices, right, is that? Yeah? That was the same
day I mack on us. But but did you already
have some level of notoriety notorary? What's the word umary?
Were you already famous? I've signed a few notaries, so
have I. But outside that U, was that just something
(34:55):
you wanted to do as a goof Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah,
I couldn't dig anything bigger. Like I grew up on that.
It was great prices right, showcase showdown. I had to
leave a session earlier, Oh to go do Dr Dre
and Kanye to go do the Prices right. You guys
got it from here, right, I gotta think, just tell
us what it is. It's all good, yeah me. And
(35:19):
then I was like, I got Prices right, and it
was just like they didn't. They seemed disappointed, and I
was they were a little super quiet because I was expecting, like, yo,
that's a mosque. That's crazy, Like, yeah, Dre was just yeah.
I was like, all right, well, maybe were they jealous?
(35:41):
I think so too it maybe they were so shocked
and jealous they were like this dude just flexed. It
came off as a disdained, arrogant. I just love that
you did that. Yeah. When I got on there, it
was got to do the whole running down the island presenting.
(36:08):
Did you practice, Yeah, it's a skateboard. Yeah, it was
say talking to the models, that's a rough life. Yeah,
did you think about just throwing it all away? And
I was gonna be a model and then was a spokesmodel. Yeah,
in between commercials you talked to the model, the dude
(36:29):
that's been with no shirt on for like eight hours
trying to keep like it's probably the only it's probably
the last bastion of spokesmodels prices, right, that's right, that's
the only place where you can judge and step on TV.
That's true. There's a lot of venues you can watch
spokes models and that are not televised. Yes, yes, I'm
(36:52):
forgetting that. I mean they're in Pickin, Like I've seen
a picture of your boy, your son, Uh, and he
looks like the coolest kid I've ever seen. I mean,
if I had a boy who was cooler than me,
(37:13):
I'd be so jealous of I'd lock him in the basement.
How I mean, how do you? How do you? How
do you deal? We learned if you can't beat him,
you got to join him. I start helping him out.
I was like, oh, you want subscribers, Okay, you know
you gotta do skits. Where's your bits? They don't You
don't have an exciting life. You can't be a vlogger.
You're just like you're home school, you know. Like so
(37:35):
I directed his bits now and he got it. He's
up to tink tin Case subs, tin Case subs on YouTube.
He wants to be a tin Case. He subs, I'm
talking content doesn't just sidebar? What does that mean? It's
(37:57):
like ten subscribers and it's just shortened up? Can't me? Dad?
Does he hope? Does he want to get to eleven k?
He got to tin and he just kind of was
like over. He got into all the work we did.
(38:19):
I mean, I have footage, a whole plot, like a line.
I was gonna do, no drive, he spoiled. I have
two of them now too. I always again, I have
a four year old two now not as cool. The
four year old, Yeah, born into Money's just no chance,
(38:39):
is is I ruined him. It's kind of like that
tail as old as the middle age this and I
just continue to spoil him. I can't stop. Well, that's
what we do. Great. I mean they say you're only
as happy as your unhappiest jobs, right, so I thank
(39:06):
you for that. Will give him whatever they want right
here you go. I mean, when you're getting back, you're
gonna have to do that residency for twenty years show. Yes,
a lot of show, Yeah, a lot of shows. Work
something out with Copperfield. So I'm in the groups. You
do something extraordinary, something that I just find incredibly astounding.
(39:30):
You played drums and you sing at the same time.
I mean, I'm trying to think of other musicians you've
done that. The first Phil Collins possibly, um but uh
oh yeah, well Collins sounds Fleetwood Mac. Did he sing
(39:53):
it all? Mick Fleetwood? I mean Fleetwood Mac. That's the
name of mad. Maybe I could throw that into the
stand up. Would you indulge just with some plague any
would you? It would be an honor right would never
(40:16):
be able. Well, I'm let's see, this is the hip poppy. No, Bobby,
(40:37):
don't ask me. I'm just so crush up and crush
it so clean, don't shoot down so sassy. I'm just
so cushop brush so clean clean. You know, the list
goes on and on. Who I guess I'm excited. I
know if anybody's gonna know it? So still Atlanta? Is
(41:03):
that where you're from? To the window Toma? That song
just got it? Didn't know? That's called when songs get
better with times you're not feeling it didn't did it?
(41:26):
It still feels good to sing the swems off my ba.
Is that where we're going? That was the song of
my youth? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. My generation is lyrics,
like yeah right, we made lyrics a bit like what
(41:48):
can I just yeah, that scares the hell out of
me to sing and to play drums. I just don't
know how you do it. It's nothing to be scared about, Broake,
Are you sure it's honest? I mean they say you
should always try things that scare you. Uh, okay, on
(42:13):
big fella, okay, okay, all right? Oh was I gonna
sit on your lap? Oh is that hell? Lessons are well,
that's a weird drum school. Then okay, I'll just dive in,
(42:34):
right mm hmm, Okay, take my time as I'm singing
(43:03):
and playing the drums at the same time. And now
that I'm doing it, it's not as hard as I drunk.
In fact, I'm pretty darn good at this. It's a
(43:27):
pleasing time I make when I sing and played drums.
Maybe someone will record this and put it on a
sleep machine. Whoa, whoa, that's pretty good. Um, all right, everyone,
(43:48):
just stay time, get up, get up. That's probably what
made him. That's fine, don't make it mad. Oh no,
the girl boy has returned? Ah? What is he looking for?
What happens to this poor little boy? I just want
(44:10):
to make sure that's something. What are you doing? What
are you checking him from? Just making sure he doesn't
have a doesn't have a ghost gun on him? He's clean?
What happened to you? Little boy? Can tell us what
(44:30):
happened to you? What haunts you? Can you whisper it?
Can you whisper? Oh? My god? Is he okay? He
murdered his whole entire family, all right, on this night,
this very spot. Three years ago. That can't be good
(44:52):
for us. Are you looking to murder again? Is it
someone here in this audience? M hm? Can you point
them out? Someone out there? Where are they? Oh? Not?
Are you? That is so rude? Thank god, it wasn't me.
(45:16):
I knew it wasn't gonna be Anderson for sure, he's
got a residency. I think we just have to get
him out of Oh I forgot. I have an agent
scroll a ghost. I always keep it next to the
beanie babies just in case. Okay, ye ghost, ye ghost,
(45:40):
Ye little boy Google, stop haunting Largo. We'd like to say,
chow chow chow. It worked. Wow ancient Italian spell Italian? Yes,
(46:07):
very savvy. Um Anderson, we can't thank you enough for
coming on tonight. You're an amazing artist. Anderson bark everyone,
Anderson bark. Oh my god. Now that's a star. I
(46:37):
always tell you you can see it. But mile a way.
When he walks into the room, it was it was
Boner city out there, you know what I mean. Oh
bo ouga uga. I'm afraid we're at the end of
our show. I know we've come to but I have
one last stegment. I like to end with a little
thing I like to call my take. Yeah, uh, I'll
(47:05):
just get out of here. One of the great quotes
in history, and I forget who said it. Whether it
(47:30):
was Buddha Gandhi or John F. Kennedy, it doesn't really matter.
The quote goes something like this, love makes you do
crazy things. Now, over the years, I have had many loves,
(47:57):
and I have been guilty of being crazy in love,
no question. I have loved people and objects as hard
as anyone could love, especially chocolate. Don't get me going
on chocolate. I'm a chocoholic. Dark chocolate, semi sweet milk,
(48:17):
yum yum yum. But I digress. I guess the big
question we're trying to ask ourselves is can love actually
make you do crazy things? Can you just walk onto
a commercial airline flight, refuse to wear a mask, and
then proclaim you know why I refuse to wear a
(48:40):
mask because I'm in love. I'm in love and I
don't care who knows it. Can I just walk into
my local Starbucks and start urinating on the wall. Yeah,
(49:01):
and when the staff says, sir, what are you doing?
There's a restroom just two ft away from you, I
can say I know I see it. I'm not blind.
I'm in love, and I'm going to direct my firm
hot urine stream so that it douses everything in your star.
(49:30):
Can I steal a car from a showroom floor, then
lead law enforcement on a six hour slow speed chase,
and then when they're cuffing me on the ground and
ask me why I did it? I can bellow. I
don't know what to say, but I'm in love. Cupid
(49:51):
arrow hit me and I was overcome with the need
to steal a fully loaded forward focus. These are the
questions that have baffled mankind for centuries. Experts say that
two people who are only vaguely attracted to each other
(50:12):
can fall madly in love if they go through a
scary or exciting experience together. Boy, don't I know it.
I was once trapped in a well for two weeks
with a with a Mexican guy named Alessandro Patadina, and
it was scary and exciting and we fell for each
(50:36):
other hard, nothing crazy, just some hand holding and he
would occasionally caress my cheek. We were eventually rescued, and
when we got back on solid ground and the cheering
was over, we looked at each other and realized the
spell was broken. Just like that, we were no longer
(50:57):
in love. So it was love just a chemical action?
Is it spiritual? Who knows? We all just need to
love and be willing to be loved. Do me a
favor when you go home tonight, grab your loved one
or ones, hold them tenderly, look them in the eye,
(51:20):
and then bite them as hard as you can in
a cheek and then just say I'm sorry. I know
that was crazy. I love you. And if we all
just took a moment to do that to the people
we care about, the world would be a better place.
(51:42):
I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my take on than what
that grag s sis me because he stuck looking so
fine to dry like a chuckle like a fla saw
him duncker fo we'll dry so we never gets a
(52:03):
duck fright so far to get up a lot of
band wins. And he's a guy. He ain't no stand
and he doesn't have he's on a nighttime sandwich because
everybody knows he's the Burgunzi bandit. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
Host
Will Ferrell
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