June 16, 2022 • 64 mins
Ron sits down with Boris Johnson and gets into the restaurant business with Guy Fieri.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
He's a sexy sexy man, sexy sexy clown because he
ain't no stuck us. Look, it's so flight. You could
try like a truck, lean like a plank. You the
solive younger, fool wheel dry so we never get stuck up.
He pray so much to get up. A lot of
band within saying he's a god y. He ain't no
stand and he doesn't have He's on a nighttime standwich
(00:28):
because everybody knows he's a Burgundy Bandit Ron Burgundy Podcast
Live from Lago and Holley Word, California. It's the Round
Burgundy Podcast. Put your hair stick out, rod BURGA thank you,
(00:58):
thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm not gonna lie.
That feels good, boy, especially after the day I had.
What happened. I got stuck in a ditch. I got
stuck in a ditch, simple as that. Who'll put you
(01:20):
in there? No? I was walking along Lasian coming out
for my lunch at Sin Gentlemen's Club, and I saw
something shiny in the bike lane, and I thought it
was a diamond, or at least a cubic zeconium zeconium
(01:41):
zum okay, keep going cz and I reached down to
pick it up, and next thing you know, my lug
gets stuck in the rain gutter. And I swear to God,
the clown from it was pulling me down. It was
and it wasn't. It wasn't. It was not Pennywise. But
(02:04):
I just got it, you know, just like, oh God,
I'm just somehow I'm wedged in here in the morning, Jos.
The longer you're stuck in there, like, I'm getting deeper
and deeper and I'm just like halfway in and I'm like,
I'm stuck in a ditch. I am stuck in a
ditch on Wednesday afternoon at one oh four pm. And
(02:29):
here's the weirdest part. No one would help me. Stuck
in a ditch. You called out for people. Finally someone
called the fire department and they got the jaws of life,
got the jaws of life. And because I thought I
was dying and they tried open the cement and everything,
(02:54):
I took it down to my jeweler. You kept the shining,
like kept a shiny object. It was just a shiny
piece of glass. All of that for just a shiny glass.
But that's a typical day for me. How often um
(03:16):
do you eat across the street at sin? Uh? How often? Honest?
I would say thirty to forty times a month. That's
a lunch every that's not a lot. That's not a lot,
that's not that much. That's a meal every single day
(03:37):
at sin. That's four days a week and average of
four days a week. We don't agree to disagree. It's
good food. It's good food. And uh, I think the
back of your ticket stub you get a half off
a Ruben sandwich over there. You can either Reuben or
a lap dance. You're choosing. But if you do choose
(03:59):
a upas, please pick Octavia. She's delightful. She's a grad student. Uh,
cal State Northridge, just trying to pick up, just trying
to pay the bills, you know, trying to pay the
bills at north Ridge. Cal State Northridge. I believe they're
(04:20):
the matadors. Is that correct? I know my name of college.
I'll give you the mascot name of college. Mess the Oaks,
Nebraska Cornhuskers, Ohio State Buckeyes, Bowling Green Bowling Green guys.
(04:42):
I'll Hoboken, the Slashers, Carolina tar Heels. What risdi Risdie
doesn't have a mascot. Come on, I believe they are
(05:03):
the the buckets of maple syrup. It's a longer one.
They shorten it usually what a good little talent, just
recall a mascots. Yep, that's what the Guinness Book of
World Records is for. I read it religiously every day.
(05:27):
Hear what I want to do? Something isn't exciting? It's a.
It's a it's so exciting to be amongst people again.
Isn't it lovely to have a communal experience? I wonder
if you indulge me here for a second. One of
the greatest songs ever written is Baba Baja Man, who
let the dogs Out? And if I say who let
(05:50):
the dogs out? You say, but okay, so, which is great?
But can we do it as angrily as we could
possibly can? Okay, so, who let the dogs out? A
little little more of a screech? Okay, who let the
(06:13):
dogs out? Oh that's thrilling. Whoo whoo, whoo, boo hoo.
That was the intention of the song, because the Baja
men were like, what the who let my dogs out?
And I want to know now? And I got to
know now? Who who I want to answer? I love
(06:38):
that dog. If it happened to backtra I'd be living. Yeah.
I know. So when you next time you're listening to
you know, the Top forty or k Earth one on
one and that one pops on, you can I don't
think it's all the Top forty anywore it in heavy rotation.
(07:04):
It would be a fun carpool trick when you're driving
in your car pool and it comes on, or purposely
play it. Have it set up so that when you're driving,
who let the dog? What's wrong with Carolina? I don't know.
(07:25):
Oh that's my friends. Yeah, that's you driving. You were driving. Yeah,
I didn't set that up properly. It's all about the
set up. You guys were trying a little slogan here
at the Burgundy podcast, but we do need your help
with it. We've been working on it. We've been trying
some out. They haven't been working. We decided to try
this one out. If you want to say it with us,
(07:45):
you don't have to, but I hope you do. That's
a that's great, that's really good. I think that's can
we try it with a little tinge of anger? Okay,
that's that's where am I Genoa? I was just transported.
(08:15):
You guys are good. You guys came to play tonight.
That's fantastic. We have been so lucky to do these
run of shows here at Largo, and they've been so
generous Tonight. All the proceeds are going to Care, which
is an amazing charity that's helping families in the Ukraine
right now. So thank you so much for trying to
(08:36):
take it's really standing. I thought originally was going to
my charity, which is money for Ron's bank account. What's
going to Care? But there and they care. They need
it much more than I do. But barely. H You
(09:02):
said we were getting political tonight, which I was a
little bit hesitant. Well, we have a very special guest,
our first guest tonight. Yes. Um, we have a bit
of a coup, you might say, on the show tonight.
I really landed someone that even I couldn't believe I
actually pulled off. And it's uh, it's pretty remarkable the
(09:28):
more I think about it. He's from England. Um, and
like most of us, I I don't know a lot
about England. Uh. I know it's made up of three countries, Scotland,
Wales and Denmark. Um, I know London is where the
(09:54):
Queen lives, and she's the ruler of all of England
and India. No, it's all of it. Every They also
have a whole other government they called Parliament, and it's
it's not the Funkadelic band Parliament. Yeah, although that would
(10:16):
be pretty cool, wouldn't it. And and the guy who
runs Parliament is called the Prime Minister. He's the top dog. Uh.
And well this is a little crazy. Uh. But we
have the Prime Minister of England here tonight. Um, and
(10:36):
so let's just jump into it. Please welcome the Prime
Minister of England, Mr Boris Johnson, Your excellency, h thank
(10:57):
you for coming on the show. We are so on
to have you. Um, sidebar um, let's just get into it. Sure, yeah, Brexit,
what is it? Why is it? Where is it? Who
is it? Brexit? We're getting we're getting political. Um. No,
(11:20):
that's great. Um, it's nice to see take this new direction. Wrong. Um, okay,
well it's the show. Um. Right, And you don't seem
very sure of yourself. Well I'm not sure it was
a very good idea. Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Carolina. This
(11:42):
is like my Frost Nixon here. It's not it's give
me a break, I promise you, am Scray, Mr Prime Minister.
You look very confused, lizard jetlag. It could be, it
(12:04):
could be I'm a little I'm a little bit confused,
a little bit confused. Yeah I'm not. I'm not the
prominencer of England. I have to talk to you. What
maybe you'd like to sit this one out and watch
from the audience. Okay, listen, Um, that's not Boris Johnson.
(12:28):
That's who is. If it's it's Um, it's it's Dan Stevens.
He was an actor on Downton Abbey. He's just yeah,
wait which one on Dannton Downton Abbey? He was Matthew Crawley.
I know, I know, I know. What did you say
(12:57):
to write when right when you walked out? It's okay,
it's okay, no stop stop, I wrong. Matthew's Stephen, Okay,
Matthew Crowley, Matthew Crowley, d Matthew Crawley. And I'm Ron Brickety.
(13:27):
I know. I'm shaking like a leaf. You are so handsome, thanks, Ron, Um.
Oh my god, how did we get that so mixed up?
It doesn't matter. Oh God, you are studying, you really
(13:50):
are it's like staring at a Greek statue. That's that's
very kind. Are you okay? Are you okay? Wrong? Um,
I'm fine, I'm gonna be great. I'm great. No, I'm fine.
Are you fine? Are you okay? I'm great? Now? Yeah,
I'm glam How could you talk about those things? But
(14:13):
what was it like playing Matthew Crawley? It was? It
was great? Wrong, I didn't know you was such a
huge fan of Oh my gosh, you really are you kidding?
Are you kidding me? Right now? It was Deapta and
Abby right, that's that's awesome. Our nation. I don't know
(14:37):
if anyone watched it over there, but we were blue.
We were glued to the telly. Was that just the
break of a life? Points is cractually? I don't usually
speak in a higher region. Was it was that a
(14:57):
huge break for you to lay them the part of
Matthew Crawley on Downton Abbey. Yeah, it was a great
It was a great moment. Yeah, yeah, it was huge,
And I'm thrilled. Every time I meet a fan, you know,
a lot of people must come up to you recognize
you from that, so sometimes they did. Yeah, I didn't
have a mustache on that No, you were clean shaven,
trust me, that smooth baby skin you photographed? Well, my friend,
(15:25):
thank you. I ever loved you. If you did so
many things. You lived in a castle, you lived in
a manor house, you fought in World War One? What
do you want to talk about other things that you've done?
I just want to get the rent Okay, truth be told.
(15:49):
When Lavinia Swire died, I was so happy. But then
you married Mary. They have to admit I was a
little upset. M In fact, I didn't leave my house
for a year. Um, but then you go and die
in your car crash. I lost my appetite. I stopped
(16:13):
caring for my body. I lay in my bed, in
my own poop for days. I'm so sorry to hear
that wrong. Why did you let them kill you off?
Why did you leave down tonight? I'm so sorry. Ron.
You know you're familiar with the band Toto, right, Oh, yes, sure, yeah,
(16:37):
you know, and they make they make beautiful music, they
really do, and there's a lot of them. Did they
do then they didn't do the theme song, but I
would listen to it now that but um, you know,
I think sometimes me all the way would you Matthew
Crawley tonight take me all the away? I love it,
(16:59):
I think anyway. Sorry, No, it's just you know sometimes
during in a band, there's a lot of members and
you're thinking, you know, is my is my jazz flute
being heard? Um, don't I know it? Don't I know it?
And you know, sometimes you just got to take that
take that flute out. I was kicked out of super Tramp,
is that right? Yes, I'm so sorry. Yeah, that was
(17:23):
my total But they went on to Great Heights and
I refused to listen to anything done by Super Tramp.
Did you become a family on Downton Abbey? Did you guys?
Did you guys hang out a lot and do barbecues?
We were yeah, we were close. Yeah, we had a
great time. Yeah. I mean we can talk about other
(17:44):
things if if you want, um, other things, Yeah, like Brexit.
We've moved on. We've moved on from Brexit. What happened
with Brexit, by the way, it was was a lot
of sitting in there through. Yeah it finally that was
a spicy meat ble. That was a spicy a spicy meatble.
(18:08):
Are people satisfied with what's going on now? Post Brexit.
I don't. I don't think they are. The British don't
digest spicy meatballs. Well who does spicy curries though? Oh? Absolutely?
That's why the Queen of England still rules India to
take all the curry and bring it to London, is
(18:30):
what my research says. Like all famous British actors or
anyone of from England who has any notoriety, do you
own a soccer team? I'm not. Yeah, I don't know,
but is that an aspiration? I mean, what's the going
(18:52):
right for for a soccer team? I'm sure it's at
least half a million. I'll do some saving up, might
be fun, or maybe I should get a soccer team
over here, since you know Americans and Canadians like to
go over to the UK and buy soccer teams perpaps.
We could oh to Shay, Yeah, wouldn't that be fun?
(19:13):
I'm all for it. Yeah, I mean, do whatever you
want to do. You're Matthew, Oh, I think it's a
it's more I can trying to introduce cricket to America. Now, cricket,
that is a fascinating game. Have you watched the cricket
watched a little bit like the base, you have the
wickets exactly. You have a batsman. Yeah, you have a ball,
(19:35):
You try to throw it as hard as you can,
you bounce it off the ground, and then someone just
blindly swings tries to make on top of this sport
for an American, A lot of people don't know what
and then you just running a straight line back and
forth down the wicket and the matches go on for days.
(19:55):
They can do yeah, up to five days. Point of that,
just nine innings is long enough. Our baseball games are
pretty long, pretty long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm talking days,
five days. Yeah, a five day test match, five day
test matches. Why is it called a test match? That's
a very good question. I think because it's it's a
(20:16):
real test. It's a real test day. Serious. You don't
just play one five game, you play a whole series.
And English mind games is usually considered one of the
better cricket teams. Well, I mean, like many things, we
invented this sport and then took it around the world
and then better than better than that, because right now
(20:36):
I believe the top cricket teams are Panama, uh, Uruguay, um, Madagascar.
Uh oh, what's that? Place, Turks and Keiko anywhere. I think.
I think all of those places may have a day. Yeah, yeah,
(20:58):
there is. There is a traditional of cricket in Hollywood.
The Hollywood Cricket team used to be British actors and
movie people who were missing their sports and got to
play cricket all year around in the beautiful sunshine. And
some of them would bring their butlers, and they would
have their butlers bring their spectacles onto the pitch that
they could see the ball. It's a long way from baseball.
(21:27):
What are you working on now, Matthew. I thought you
were all into butlers. That was just I one of
my way. No, I used to I've had many butlers,
and uh, they usually get fired because there incapable of
(21:51):
you know, doing the job the way I like to
do it. I'm very fastidious. So I mean, what last
time you fire your butler? Yes, it was because he
saw you cry? Right, the previous butler got fired because
he saw you cry. It's embarrassing. I don't want a
(22:15):
lot though, and they need to pick up the queue
of what I'm about to cry and leave the room.
But they end up just watching it like I'm some
freak show. Can I can I ask you a question? Wrong?
Please sit down to cry? Oh my god, just the
thought of it. If I heard the opening bars of
(22:39):
the theme song to two Pieces and I'm not I'm
not talking like sniffles, like full from the bowels man
crying and my my condo has paper thin walls, um
(23:06):
and really piss off the neighbors. I'm like, get some earplugs.
I'm watching Downton Abbey. You know this is about to happen. Dan,
(23:29):
Would you indulge me because I wrote a letter to
you that I keep in my wallet and I was
too afraid to send it to you. Uh, but you're here?
Can I read it? Okay? Why? Why were you just
right to send it? And I always keep it on
my person wherever I go every day in hopes that
(23:54):
I would ever run into you. What? Nothing? Yeah, So
I wrote this a while ago, and dear Lord Crowley,
can I call you Matthew? My name is Ron Burgundy.
(24:15):
I'm not wanting to fall in love exactly easily. Sorry,
I'm not wanting to fall in love easily. I admit
I've never experienced same sex attraction. I support all kinds
of love, mind you, but for me, it's a rare
occasion when a man can stir emotions inside my bosom
(24:39):
like you have. Would you ever consider having me as
your wife? I would honor the traditions of Downton Abbey,
and as your wife, I would make sure all of
(25:00):
the curtains and floors and pictures on the wall we're
We're dusted every day. Ron Burgundy. That's signed Ron Burgundy.
If yes, write me at this enclosed address, that's beautiful.
(25:24):
I'm so tire strong to thank you means so much,
so happy to hank you to n You don't have
to clap, you'll have to tap. I shouldn't have read
that out loud. Let me apologize to you. I'm sorry.
Um who how you gonna cry? No, I'm not gonna cry.
(25:48):
I'm not gonna cry now. But if the whole audience
sang bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bam
bam bam bam bam, I feel we should stop. Matthew Crawley, sorry, dad.
(26:12):
This has been an honor and a privilege of a lifetime.
Did I get to meet the Prime Minister? No? No,
I did not. Will I ever get to meet him?
Probably not? But I would trade this encounter for a
thousand meetings with the Prime Minister again and again and again.
(26:36):
You're a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you, and you
are you are like an angel. You were like an
angel who has descended upon all of us and touched
us with your majesty. And everyone is going to leave
this there tonight a changed person and we'll do better
(26:58):
because of your presence. You're a vision dressed in white light,
emanating from you, cascading out and piercing the souls, the hearts,
the internal organs of everyone in this theater, in the city,
(27:20):
in this country, in this hemisphere, in this solar system.
And that is not hyperbole. Dance Stevens. Everyone, thank you
so much. Thank you wrong lady dat Seed for great
(27:45):
nat Seed. Oh that was a lot. That was Boner City, USA,
right there, Boner next up, Boner City. U s A
(28:06):
get my passport out stamped multiple times? Got it, I'm
stamping all the pages in my passport. I'm only gonna
go one place, the Boner City. Who Oh, yeah, that
(28:31):
was a lot. Uh. I could get stuck in a
ditch from here on out and I will be a
happy man. Well, we have to thank Largo quickly for
having us. Yes, the people are wonderful here. The buffet
in the back leaves something to be desired for. Its
(28:51):
out all day. That's day old lobster. Back there, They're like,
we have lobster buffet, and I'm like, how old is
this lobster? Have you ever eaten tainted lobster? Tainted? Yes? No,
you don't want to. I don't get to know. Okay,
numerous times? What kept you going back? I was at
(29:13):
a crush on the waitress. Okay, I'm gonna help yourself.
Couldn't help myself. That sin? It was that sin. Yes,
you know it's tainted lobster. If your mouth starts foaming,
I think that's much more serious than just some tainted lobster.
I think maybe it was. Yeah, yeah, it's system just
(29:35):
shutting down. Yeah, my system did shut down. Pepsis. Sepsis, babe, sepsis,
But you take a pepsi to cure sepsis. It sounds similar,
but it has nothing to do with it, and sepsis
is just a breakdown of the internal organs. Altogo. All
(29:57):
the lights are going out. Okay, you don't want to
go there. Tainted lobster, don't do it. Should we bring
out our next guest? Yes, yeah, I think we should.
In fact, it's very apropos. I think you guys are
going to find this as a let the dogs out
(30:26):
so primal. Yes, it is. It's primal. Our next guests.
Oh Boy is a world famous Emmy Award winning television host.
He owns three restaurants here in California. He is best
(30:46):
known for his show on the Food Network Diners, Drive
Ins and Dives. Please welcome, Guy, Pierre. Thank you guys. Pierre.
(31:19):
Now it is Guy. It's not. It's it's it's not.
It's like, but if you go to France or to Montreal,
do you say call me? You just keep it Guy,
I keep it Guy. I lived in France. I was
an exchange student in France sixteen and and that was
(31:39):
the worst thing that they could call me was it
was just too close to geek. It was a very
it was difficult step PERI. Yeah, I agree. I agree.
I said, Pari, this is crazy, isn't it. Um Let's
(32:05):
get okay, let's let's get right into it here. We've
got some good questions here. What's your favorite diner you've
been to? I mean, I have a little I have
a little indie restaurant near my house called McDonald's. Um,
it's not Scottish food, but they do breakfast, lunch, and
dinner and I just love it. What's your what's your
(32:27):
favorite diner? If you can even name one, I it's
it's like what your what's your favorite kid or your
favorite song. It's almost impossible. Yeah, you really can't just
go because when you go to one of these places,
it's it's kind of like being in the moment. You're
not just eating the food, You're you're meeting the people,
You're having the experience. You're you're kind of breathing it
all in, you know, gonna is there a certain region
(32:49):
of the country that has a preponderance of good diners
over another or they just wonderance? Yes, how do you
spell that? Okay? Pr E E P O E D
E R E n c X the exercile at the
ex silent Um. I think, uh top three one one
(33:14):
of my favorite cities of Chicago. Great great, great city
for food. By the bay, yeah, um, I think or
by the lake. It's bear Lake. You know. Um, I'm
not gonna argue with you about it. Right now. We
don't have to give. I would go to that point,
(33:34):
but I think we pronounced a different way. But how
would you how do you pronounce it? Which Chicago? I
kind of have fun with it. I call it Chicago. Okay,
all right? Um, so I would say Chicago, I would say,
I think l A has gotta dynamite food scene, a
lot of healthy joints, um, and then I would I
would have to go. I don't know, man. I think
(33:57):
I think Florida has got a good a good food
where warm, wherever people can eat outdoors. And you have
a lot of ethnic You've got a lot of culture.
Seems like you get a nice little melting a melting
pot a stew if you will. Yeah, you kind of
make it sound a little funky, but no, yeah, do
you enjoy making stews? Not a big stew person. I'm
(34:17):
a big crock pot guy. Throw it in the crock
pot six hours later, I got a meal. Now. A
lot of times I don't pay careful enough attention to
what I've actually put in the pot. There could be
pieces of cardboards, shards of glass, Like if you didn't
take the pasta out of the box and the whole
thing just but it is convenient what's the grossest thing
(34:43):
you've ever eaten? Um? That lobster back there, right, that's
it's tempting because it looks like it's pretty good lobster.
It's the lighting, the light. Yeah, it's seeving back there,
and it is frofty at the mouth, and the PEPs
it did not help. Yeah, I'm a my my everybody
(35:08):
knows that I'm not a big egg fan, but my
real nemesis is beef liver. Oh yeah, you could hide
the keys to a free ferrari under a plate of
beef liver. There would be no way I would ever.
I mean, I can't. There's something, there's a funk. There's
a minerality factor to who's a beef beef liver fan. Yeah,
(35:28):
you gave me a crazy one on that you like
beef liver and know Oh okay, I thought you were saying, no,
I beef liver. I do not know it as I
can't even be when we go to we've shot triple
D joints and they'll be cooking it just on the
menu for somebody else. And I right, oh you got
un in the Yeah, I started getting the heat. I
mean organ meats in general, right, anything that had a job. Yeah,
(35:53):
that's the dogs up. Did you tell me that you
felt like you're in genera? Oh yeah, general, Yeah, that's
what um No, it organ meets. I'm not a fan
of any of the parts of the animal that had
a job, if it licked, pushed, filtered, any of those parts,
(36:16):
I'm not. That's not my favorite. Not my favorite. I mean,
don't get me wrong. Trip's got his place, and sweetbreads
have their place and so forth. But to me particularly,
that's not my first go to. It's not like meat
and a cone kind of thing, like a chicken gizzard.
Although you do if you cook it correctly, it's still
tastes bad. Yeah. Here's something I've always wanted to ask you.
(36:43):
You've always did you write me a letter? Always? Did
I get a letter? I didn't write one. D um.
If it's a guy that goes first, he gets a letter,
well he's just I know, he's magnificent. I saw him
back there. I've got posters of him all over my
walls still this day. I was able to get a photograph.
I've got a at eight, I got a basically the
(37:06):
size of a Persian rug tapestry woven of Matthew Crawley
Dan Stevens. I used it as a blackout shade in
my living room ever since my curtains burned down because
I left the crop pot. It was short, sir. Here's
(37:28):
my question. Here's my question. I think he's a question
a lot of people wouldn't want to ask. Have you
ever eaten a human toe? Cooked? Cooked? Or or right?
Out of the show? Right either way? Yeah? Not even
time I watch you say, I'm just like God, is
(37:48):
he ever eating a human toe? It's gonna lead me
and it's probably gonna haunt me later down the line.
So I'm gonna say no of the eating of the
toe because the reason why I bring it up here's
a hypothetical. You got it. You got a chef, buddy,
great buddy. You believe in him as a chef. He's
(38:09):
finally opened up his brand new restaurant, and he's he's
got talent. You're not. It's not just a friend like, oh,
stop by and give him some support. But he's he's
very good. You're happy for him or her or her
or them or them or them uh uh. And the
(38:35):
first course they bring out is a delightful soup or
stew or stew and it's really good, and you're thinking yourself,
my friend here is knocking it out of the park.
This is gonna be great. And you bite into a
human toe. What do you do? Do you just chew
up that grisly toe and swallow it for the benefit
(38:57):
of your friends so they don't get shut down by
the health department, or do you follow ethics and say,
I'm sorry, dear friend, I found a toe in the soup.
Where is this hypothetical from I'm sorry and I want
my money back that I invested in your restaurant? What
(39:19):
would you how would you handle that? It's a dear,
dear friend. Well, my first question, just as a chef
comes to me way through eating the toes, it doesn't
taste that bad. Well that was gonna be My question
is where are the other four toes? But maybe I'm
getting cheated on the deal. Maybe maybe it's maybe it
(39:43):
is a toes. Can I get some more toes? That's
the way to fix it round for the house? Right,
let's bring this so now, I don't know that I
would I think I would go with the flow, you know,
I'd go with the toe, you know, go with the toe.
Thank you. I'll be here all week, tried to code.
(40:05):
You own restaurants all over the place. UM have a few,
more than three, by the way, But I appreciate the
shout out. It wasn't you did the research. It was not.
It was hard for I have four. Okay, so we
(40:27):
weren't off by a lot, but we got to kind.
I mean, that's still a C plus, which my book
I took it. That's graduated him. You're still getting out
(40:47):
of school, so you own restaurants. Is it is it
cool not to ever pay for a meal? Or is
that just a stupid question? Well? I think when everybody
goes out to dinner and one person picks up the
check and the other people don't pay for the meal,
I think that's okay. But I think that like just
(41:08):
like not not at all paying for the me only.
I don't think that's very cool. I don't think that's
very nice. Even if your friend owns the place and
you play jazz food, it doesn't matter. So don't dine
and ditch is what you're saying. Exactly good. I would
never do it. Good. By the way, you know where
you can't dine and ditch sin across the road there
(41:30):
because they will come chasing you with tire irons and
prow bars. You will give you it, will give you
a lash. Okay, so you own a vineyard? Is that correct?
I lived by vineyards by veneards. Do you do you don't?
Do you own one? Or no? No? I used to,
(41:52):
I used to have, and I have a wine. We
have a wine company. We have a wine company called
hunt Ride. We have a tequila business called Santo Tequila.
We have a couple little projects like what about a
wine and may honor called ron Burgundy's classy Shibli Burgundy
and together again for the first time. It could be
a blend. I like it. It could be a lot
(42:14):
in a boxer bottle boxes, better box definitely, definitely one
on one side, one on the other. Drain it quicker.
Let's start working on this right away. We're in a backpack. Yeah,
camel back. You can bring it with you. Yeah, bring
it with you. Another hose for a friend to just
get ahead. Just tape a hefty trash bag to your
(42:34):
back full of Chablis and Burgundy blended together. What a mix?
Go to the beach. I always drink wine on the beach.
(43:00):
Would you ever start a restaurant? With me. I mean no,
I think it would be great in the restaurantusiness. I
think we got to serve rack of lamb because it's
just a classy classy. Is this a classy joint we're
doing or is this a die well? I don't know,
I just joined across the street. Or is like the
lobster in the back? I only go to restaurants if
they don't have racca lamb, I walk out, got it?
(43:23):
Got it? Okay, lamb lamb, Chili of course, and meat
in a cone meat three items. Keep it simple right there,
right there, great, keep it simple, low overhead, low overhead,
(43:43):
one cook, one cook, or cook it yourself at your
table exactly. We bring it out. We bring it out
kind of one of like those um like a like
a Benny Hunter, like they have a hot uh about
people burning themselves or any kind of it's on. It's
you have them sign a waiver. Check your own racket, lamb.
(44:07):
What would you like to call it, though? I mean,
what would the name of our place? Because it can
be hot hot totsis okay, we're competing with strip joint,
but that's fine. You have a lot of restaurant ideas though,
I do you have a bunch of restaurant ideas well? No,
I have restaurant ideas always keep with me all the time.
(44:28):
I have jotted down on scraps of paper, can I
and this is the time to share them? Right? Wow,
let's see. Is it a fortune cookie paper? It's just
note but line notebook paper. My iPad broke, so okay,
(44:54):
this one's called. This restaurant is called All About the Loaf.
Just a meatloaf buffet. I like it. I like it
different types of meat loaf or just one meat loaf
and different sauces either way. Okay, that's good. It's a
lot of options. No shirt, no shoes, no booze, so
(45:14):
it's super casual, relaxed. So you know, shirt, no shoes,
no booze. So you can't drink their super casual. But
you can't drink half naked and no buzz. Yeah that sucks.
So you don't like that. That one wasn't good. But
the meat loaf meat Loaf Haven. I like All about
(45:36):
the Loaf. Oh yeah, that's that was our tagline though,
meat Loaf Haven. How about a restaurant called Surprise. Yeah,
so you sit down. I've been envisioning it right now.
(45:57):
You say this menu is blank. What's on the menu?
Excep what's under the apron? Very well? That that could
be an offshoot part through it. What's in the drink?
So we like that. I like that one. Could we
put surprise in the meat loaf together surprise meat low Okay, okay,
(46:17):
I don't want to quickly start brain. I don't want
to expand too quickly. I don't want to expand. You
gotta keep central. And here's an here's another conceptual one.
It's called family dinner. We provide the family. So you
you you go in by yourself, we're feeling lonely, We'll
(46:43):
set you up with a family. It's all family style
and uh so you so, let me get this straight.
That's what I'm doing. You're you or without that one?
You're already going to doing that one I'm doing. So
can I just get designers? Do you just do you
get to pick the family or do we pair you
(47:04):
up with the family? Uh so you're just walking in turn,
guests can pick their family. You've got a good meal with,
you know, kind of like how Jurgensen's over there. They're like,
oh yeah, uh oh, welcome back guy. Okay, the usually
want to sit with the Jurgensen's Jens. That's like that's
a made up family's So it's kind of like going
(47:25):
to so I don't want to get letters from all
the Jergens child Jez Louise. Okay, okay, do you pay
for the family's meal? Uh? You? Or do you just
pay a search charge for the family to be charged
for the family as you can tip the family if
you're enjoying your time? How many meals is this family
(47:47):
gonna eat? You gotta be there all day. I can't
let them go. I can't let them go. Oh my god,
they're gonna be They're gonna really have consumed a lot. Okay.
This restaurants, now, this one's a little more adventurous, more
for the foodies. This is called shoot your own. Uh
you're basically you walk into the restaurant, which is just
(48:10):
a structure and a wild an a wild animals released
and you've got to shoot it, clean it, kill it,
cook it everything like a wild boar. Okay it can
ring um? Okay, I mean that's is there more than one? Is?
(48:32):
Are other people dining in this? Are we just shooting
across the room at each other It depends if we
if we're guaranteed that they're relatively good, aim, we can
have multiple diners. Otherwise, Yeah, I really thought this out. Okay,
(48:53):
get back to me on that. I do like where
you're going. Whatever is dangerous, don't come on Thursday. Thursday
night is panther night. And that's a you don't want
to be in. Sixty percent of the time. It works
all the time. One of my favorite of all of them.
Here's an interesting one. It's a place called Ready, Set Go.
(49:15):
Thirty second meals get you in and out, probably more
like oatmeal, soft soft foods, shakes, nothing you have to
chew too quickly, but we d go like hot chili,
hot chili. If you're not done by thirty seconds, we
take the plate away from you and we kick you
out because we got to turn the tables over. Right.
(49:36):
Met loaf and a blender. Oh, we already did a
met I like it. And then that's the last one
I've already started. Uh, and it's doing really well. It's
called Olive Garden. Uh. And I was kicking but and
then I got shut down. These guys and suits showed
(49:58):
up and told me there was already a chain called
olive guarden. That's bull, no kidding. You know they always
that they'll do that to you, this young entrepreneur trying
to make his way in Corduroy, and then all of
a sudden they take it away from you. That's bull.
I'm sorry. If I listen, I'll help you out. Let's go.
Let's get back to the meat. Loaf, the low loaven,
(50:18):
low low fload, meat, low floor, low fload. I don't
think so. Uh uh, all about the loaf? How can I?
(50:39):
Who's that pop artists? Is things all about the babe?
That bab We could get Megan Trainer to sing a
song that plays on a loop inside the restaurants, all
about the loaf, the loaf, the loaf. Yeah, I like it.
I like it. I think that has promised. I think
that that along with the we like that and the
restaurant with the family. Yeah. You collect classic cars? Am I? Right? Yes? What? What?
(51:04):
What do you have? What kind of cars? A lot
of Chevies, Chevelle, Corvette, Scarrows, ranging from what years, mainly
in the late sixties, early seventies. Um, do you know
anything about a escort? Mine? Mine is stuck in the
(51:25):
driveway and it's it's really funny noise. When I try
to start it up. You want to buy it off me.
I want to roll dice for it. All rolled dice anytime.
That's that's how I got out of giving blood the
last time. I said, look, I'm not gonna give blood,
(51:46):
but all rolled dice for some reason. The young woman
at the Red Cross goes okay, and we and I
beat her two out of three times, and I'm like,
see a sucker, good blood from some other Yahoo. I
hope you guys know how bad I'm dying up here
right now. Speaking of cars, your name is Guy Fiery.
(52:10):
It sounds like a race car driver named to me. Um,
how did you get such a cool name? My family?
It's a really cool name. Yeah, my family. But I
got the name Guy. Guys. Not that it's not I
mean like ron is like Ronald or something. You know,
it's dignity. I got guys. He is his name. Girl.
(52:30):
You know I got enough of those jokes. Um, So
guy and guys not short for anything. Guy's just guy.
And my parents were hippies. Okay, that that explains a
lot of Yeah, thank you very much. But I do
have an alias, which is Gus Ferrari. Oh, Gus Ferraria, Okay,
I was having There were two ladies who were having
an argument about not as cool as guy fiery. I
(52:53):
don't think so either, But Gus Ferrari does get me
out a lot of pinches. It's just like a secret
speakeasy thing. Yeah, we're not gonna tell anybody. We'll just
keep between us. Don't worry about it. On the d
L ignore all of these microphones. In two thousand and fifteen,
(53:14):
you officiated at the wedding of your good friend Art
Smith with one and one same sex couples in attendance
as a way to celebrate Florida's lifting the ban on
same sex marriage. That's incredible. What that's amazing that you
did that. I just want to applaud that. Well, thank you,
(53:35):
And it was an honor and on a very serious note, um,
to watch a hundred one couples that were being kept
from expressing their love and being together, um by some
law that's I don't know who makes those kind of laws.
But but to see to be the person that stood
there to say to them, you are all now one
or you're now married, and to see the tears and
(53:57):
the energy and the love and the embrace and the
whole thing was probably one of the most overwhelming things
I've ever done. That's so great, wonderful, it's really cool.
And most of the marriages were knows. Is that is
that correct and so wrong? Yes? Um, I think people
(54:28):
should also know that you're involved in a lot of charities.
Un can you can you talk about that before you go,
because I just do have to say this guy raised
million dollars for restaurant workers during the pandemic because the
restaurant industry was the one of the hardest hit industries
(54:50):
by far. Yeah, it was. I think probably everybody thinks
that the restaurant industry is gonna be there. You know,
you go out early in the morning, restaurants are open.
You go late at night, restaurants are open one way,
shape or form. Restaurants are there to service. And I've
been in the industry my whole life, and I just
knew that when that closing was happening, particularly here in California,
I just knew that there were so many people that
(55:11):
were not going to be getting that paycheck or those
tips that there's so much relying on. And I was
really frustrated. So I sent out forty three emails, actually
video messages to the big corporations, to the cfo CEOs
that run these companies. And I don't know the bosses,
the bosses the big they haven't got it the ron
(55:31):
burgundaries of the business. So I sent out these messages
and said, you've been doing really good off the restaurant
industry forever. How about right now, you dig deep and
you give some money and let's get it to the workers.
And I'm not talking about the owners. I'm talking about
the workers. I'm talking about the people that are really
counting on the on the money. And I got a
lot of not kicked back. But my team thought I
(55:52):
was crazy. In my family, I sent him out on
a Sunday night and Monday morning, at nine o'clock, PEPSI
called and gave us a million bucks. And that's how
I got started. Yeah, it's really full, but you're the
you're a philanthropist to get into it. But we've got
some charities sure that I work with. The one I'm
(56:15):
most proud of it's very dear to my heart. Um
it's called Tots for Tots, And what I do is
I give tater tots two children whether they want them
or not, I'd give them tater tots, and just to
see the smile of young child's face, grease streaming down
(56:39):
his cheeks, as he's just like a little chipmunk stuffed
full with tater tots. If they want them or not,
whether they want them or not, a lot of them
run away. A lot of them say no, Ron, I've
had enough. I say, I'll tell you when you've had enough.
Get back here. I've got a two pounds of frozen
(57:02):
tater tots in the back of my van, single file
all and anyway. So I am so proud. It's amazing.
You've done great stuff. So have I. Caroline is too busy.
(57:24):
But where are we going to dinner tonight after the show?
Oh you're too busy? Uh? Are we gonna invite your
friend that you wrote the letter to? Or? And we
are definitely, In fact we could. We told security to
not let Dan leave, right, he's not going anywhere. In fact,
I think there's a net back there a net, and
(57:44):
I try to someone throw a net over Dan bound
his legs gently. Let's just you know, yes, let's put
him little tranquilizer dad and then put him back in
the tater tot bamatam um. Guy Fiery, you can't thank
(58:07):
you enough for coming onto. The show's been what next,
Guy Fiery? Everyone? Thank you much. I wonder what I who? Well,
(58:30):
We're We've just about run out of time here, unfortunately,
but I'd like to internet with one final piece. I'd
like to call my take. You can leave. Yes, I've
(58:58):
got a quick question for you. Have Americans lost their
collective minds? The reason why I asked this is because
everywhere I turn, every single person, and I mean every
single person has a service animal. Have you noticed this? Now?
(59:27):
I fully understand seeing eye dogs or service dogs in general,
but now things have gotten out of control. Have you
flown recently? It's like I'm on Noah's Arc service dogs
and cats and chinchillas and parrots and service komodo dragons.
(59:51):
This is Dracula, my service bats. I've hantusak your blood Sha,
don't talk to me in a cute see Dracula voice.
It has gotten so bad. I I once witnessed someone
bringing on board a service giraffe. Granted it was a
(01:00:16):
baby giraffe, and it was an Airbus three, pretty pretty
big plane, so but it was never gonna fit, but
the flight crew had to delicately handle the situation because
the passenger was threatening to kill herself if she couldn't
bring the service giraffe on board. I quickly took a
(01:00:37):
selfie with the draft before the proverbial hit the fan.
That giraffe was cute. It's still pretty big for a baby.
I'm not gonna lie. Part of me thought, boy, that'd
be fun to get that giraffe on board. But that's
the one and only time I felt aligned with someone's
(01:00:58):
service animal. In fact, what are the rules exactly governing
these animals? It it makes me want to test the system.
Can I bring a large cooler on board with my
baby's service great white shark or a special satchel with
my service tarantula? Remember snakes on a plane? We are
(01:01:22):
perilously close to making that scenario everyday reality. What about humans?
We are technically animals? Heck, we are animals right? Next
up I fly? Can I bring my drinking buddy champ
kind with me? And when they when they asked for
(01:01:43):
a ticket, can I just explain that he doesn't need one.
He's my service animal. He's just gonna lie on the
floor in this sleeping bag. We're gonna eat homemade nachos,
drink scotch, and he's going to keep me calm. Think
about it. Why can't I do that? Or maybe I'm
(01:02:04):
going to release a swarm of bees and just tell
everyone to relax. They're my service animals. Relax, they will
eventually congregate near one of the bathrooms, and please don't
order any sugary drinks. I guess the question is, how
(01:02:26):
do we get the genie back in the bottle? Well,
maybe we're right. Well, maybe we're just simply past the
point of no return. When I really pause to think
about it, maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I need to
(01:02:48):
change my way of thinking, and maybe, just maybe, the
next time I'm stuck in coach sitting in between a
coyote and a spider monk, as long as there's a
mutual understanding that no one's gonna bite me in the face,
(01:03:11):
then what's the big deal. At the end of the day,
we are all God's creatures. So maybe let's just sit back, relax,
and enjoy the two and a half hour flight to Albuquerque.
I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my take. Up. Stuck up guy,
(01:03:38):
stuck up. All this duck will try so we never
get stuck up. Bring so far to get up a
lot of bandwids, and he's a god. He ain't don't
stand and he doesn't have he's on a night sized stand,
which because everybody knows he's the Furgusy Bandon The Ron
Burgundy Podcast
He's a sexy sexy man, sexy sexy clown because he
ain't no stuck us. Look, it's so flight. You could
try like a truck, lean like a plank. You the
solive younger, fool wheel dry so we never get stuck up.
He pray so much to get up. A lot of
band within saying he's a god y. He ain't no
stand and he doesn't have He's on a nighttime standwich
(00:28):
because everybody knows he's a Burgundy Bandit Ron Burgundy Podcast
Live from Lago and Holley Word, California. It's the Round
Burgundy Podcast. Put your hair stick out, rod BURGA thank you,
(00:58):
thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm not gonna lie.
That feels good, boy, especially after the day I had.
What happened. I got stuck in a ditch. I got
stuck in a ditch, simple as that. Who'll put you
(01:20):
in there? No? I was walking along Lasian coming out
for my lunch at Sin Gentlemen's Club, and I saw
something shiny in the bike lane, and I thought it
was a diamond, or at least a cubic zeconium zeconium
(01:41):
zum okay, keep going cz and I reached down to
pick it up, and next thing you know, my lug
gets stuck in the rain gutter. And I swear to God,
the clown from it was pulling me down. It was
and it wasn't. It wasn't. It was not Pennywise. But
(02:04):
I just got it, you know, just like, oh God,
I'm just somehow I'm wedged in here in the morning, Jos.
The longer you're stuck in there, like, I'm getting deeper
and deeper and I'm just like halfway in and I'm like,
I'm stuck in a ditch. I am stuck in a
ditch on Wednesday afternoon at one oh four pm. And
(02:29):
here's the weirdest part. No one would help me. Stuck
in a ditch. You called out for people. Finally someone
called the fire department and they got the jaws of life,
got the jaws of life. And because I thought I
was dying and they tried open the cement and everything,
(02:54):
I took it down to my jeweler. You kept the shining,
like kept a shiny object. It was just a shiny
piece of glass. All of that for just a shiny glass.
But that's a typical day for me. How often um
(03:16):
do you eat across the street at sin? Uh? How often? Honest?
I would say thirty to forty times a month. That's
a lunch every that's not a lot. That's not a lot,
that's not that much. That's a meal every single day
(03:37):
at sin. That's four days a week and average of
four days a week. We don't agree to disagree. It's
good food. It's good food. And uh, I think the
back of your ticket stub you get a half off
a Ruben sandwich over there. You can either Reuben or
a lap dance. You're choosing. But if you do choose
(03:59):
a upas, please pick Octavia. She's delightful. She's a grad student. Uh,
cal State Northridge, just trying to pick up, just trying
to pay the bills, you know, trying to pay the
bills at north Ridge. Cal State Northridge. I believe they're
(04:20):
the matadors. Is that correct? I know my name of college.
I'll give you the mascot name of college. Mess the Oaks,
Nebraska Cornhuskers, Ohio State Buckeyes, Bowling Green Bowling Green guys.
(04:42):
I'll Hoboken, the Slashers, Carolina tar Heels. What risdi Risdie
doesn't have a mascot. Come on, I believe they are
(05:03):
the the buckets of maple syrup. It's a longer one.
They shorten it usually what a good little talent, just
recall a mascots. Yep, that's what the Guinness Book of
World Records is for. I read it religiously every day.
(05:27):
Hear what I want to do? Something isn't exciting? It's a.
It's a it's so exciting to be amongst people again.
Isn't it lovely to have a communal experience? I wonder
if you indulge me here for a second. One of
the greatest songs ever written is Baba Baja Man, who
let the dogs Out? And if I say who let
(05:50):
the dogs out? You say, but okay, so, which is great?
But can we do it as angrily as we could
possibly can? Okay, so, who let the dogs out? A
little little more of a screech? Okay, who let the
(06:13):
dogs out? Oh that's thrilling. Whoo whoo, whoo, boo hoo.
That was the intention of the song, because the Baja
men were like, what the who let my dogs out?
And I want to know now? And I got to
know now? Who who I want to answer? I love
(06:38):
that dog. If it happened to backtra I'd be living. Yeah.
I know. So when you next time you're listening to
you know, the Top forty or k Earth one on
one and that one pops on, you can I don't
think it's all the Top forty anywore it in heavy rotation.
(07:04):
It would be a fun carpool trick when you're driving
in your car pool and it comes on, or purposely
play it. Have it set up so that when you're driving,
who let the dog? What's wrong with Carolina? I don't know.
(07:25):
Oh that's my friends. Yeah, that's you driving. You were driving. Yeah,
I didn't set that up properly. It's all about the
set up. You guys were trying a little slogan here
at the Burgundy podcast, but we do need your help
with it. We've been working on it. We've been trying
some out. They haven't been working. We decided to try
this one out. If you want to say it with us,
(07:45):
you don't have to, but I hope you do. That's
a that's great, that's really good. I think that's can
we try it with a little tinge of anger? Okay,
that's that's where am I Genoa? I was just transported.
(08:15):
You guys are good. You guys came to play tonight.
That's fantastic. We have been so lucky to do these
run of shows here at Largo, and they've been so
generous Tonight. All the proceeds are going to Care, which
is an amazing charity that's helping families in the Ukraine
right now. So thank you so much for trying to
(08:36):
take it's really standing. I thought originally was going to
my charity, which is money for Ron's bank account. What's
going to Care? But there and they care. They need
it much more than I do. But barely. H You
(09:02):
said we were getting political tonight, which I was a
little bit hesitant. Well, we have a very special guest,
our first guest tonight. Yes. Um, we have a bit
of a coup, you might say, on the show tonight.
I really landed someone that even I couldn't believe I
actually pulled off. And it's uh, it's pretty remarkable the
(09:28):
more I think about it. He's from England. Um, and
like most of us, I I don't know a lot
about England. Uh. I know it's made up of three countries, Scotland,
Wales and Denmark. Um, I know London is where the
(09:54):
Queen lives, and she's the ruler of all of England
and India. No, it's all of it. Every They also
have a whole other government they called Parliament, and it's
it's not the Funkadelic band Parliament. Yeah, although that would
(10:16):
be pretty cool, wouldn't it. And and the guy who
runs Parliament is called the Prime Minister. He's the top dog. Uh.
And well this is a little crazy. Uh. But we
have the Prime Minister of England here tonight. Um, and
(10:36):
so let's just jump into it. Please welcome the Prime
Minister of England, Mr Boris Johnson, Your excellency, h thank
(10:57):
you for coming on the show. We are so on
to have you. Um, sidebar um, let's just get into it. Sure, yeah, Brexit,
what is it? Why is it? Where is it? Who
is it? Brexit? We're getting we're getting political. Um. No,
(11:20):
that's great. Um, it's nice to see take this new direction. Wrong. Um, okay,
well it's the show. Um. Right, And you don't seem
very sure of yourself. Well I'm not sure it was
a very good idea. Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Carolina. This
(11:42):
is like my Frost Nixon here. It's not it's give
me a break, I promise you, am Scray, Mr Prime Minister.
You look very confused, lizard jetlag. It could be, it
(12:04):
could be I'm a little I'm a little bit confused,
a little bit confused. Yeah I'm not. I'm not the
prominencer of England. I have to talk to you. What
maybe you'd like to sit this one out and watch
from the audience. Okay, listen, Um, that's not Boris Johnson.
(12:28):
That's who is. If it's it's Um, it's it's Dan Stevens.
He was an actor on Downton Abbey. He's just yeah,
wait which one on Dannton Downton Abbey? He was Matthew Crawley.
I know, I know, I know. What did you say
(12:57):
to write when right when you walked out? It's okay,
it's okay, no stop stop, I wrong. Matthew's Stephen, Okay,
Matthew Crowley, Matthew Crowley, d Matthew Crawley. And I'm Ron Brickety.
(13:27):
I know. I'm shaking like a leaf. You are so handsome, thanks, Ron, Um.
Oh my god, how did we get that so mixed up?
It doesn't matter. Oh God, you are studying, you really
(13:50):
are it's like staring at a Greek statue. That's that's
very kind. Are you okay? Are you okay? Wrong? Um,
I'm fine, I'm gonna be great. I'm great. No, I'm fine.
Are you fine? Are you okay? I'm great? Now? Yeah,
I'm glam How could you talk about those things? But
(14:13):
what was it like playing Matthew Crawley? It was? It
was great? Wrong, I didn't know you was such a
huge fan of Oh my gosh, you really are you kidding?
Are you kidding me? Right now? It was Deapta and
Abby right, that's that's awesome. Our nation. I don't know
(14:37):
if anyone watched it over there, but we were blue.
We were glued to the telly. Was that just the
break of a life? Points is cractually? I don't usually
speak in a higher region. Was it was that a
(14:57):
huge break for you to lay them the part of
Matthew Crawley on Downton Abbey. Yeah, it was a great
It was a great moment. Yeah, yeah, it was huge,
And I'm thrilled. Every time I meet a fan, you know,
a lot of people must come up to you recognize
you from that, so sometimes they did. Yeah, I didn't
have a mustache on that No, you were clean shaven,
trust me, that smooth baby skin you photographed? Well, my friend,
(15:25):
thank you. I ever loved you. If you did so
many things. You lived in a castle, you lived in
a manor house, you fought in World War One? What
do you want to talk about other things that you've done?
I just want to get the rent Okay, truth be told.
(15:49):
When Lavinia Swire died, I was so happy. But then
you married Mary. They have to admit I was a
little upset. M In fact, I didn't leave my house
for a year. Um, but then you go and die
in your car crash. I lost my appetite. I stopped
(16:13):
caring for my body. I lay in my bed, in
my own poop for days. I'm so sorry to hear
that wrong. Why did you let them kill you off?
Why did you leave down tonight? I'm so sorry. Ron.
You know you're familiar with the band Toto, right, Oh, yes, sure, yeah,
(16:37):
you know, and they make they make beautiful music, they
really do, and there's a lot of them. Did they
do then they didn't do the theme song, but I
would listen to it now that but um, you know,
I think sometimes me all the way would you Matthew
Crawley tonight take me all the away? I love it,
(16:59):
I think anyway. Sorry, No, it's just you know sometimes
during in a band, there's a lot of members and
you're thinking, you know, is my is my jazz flute
being heard? Um, don't I know it? Don't I know it?
And you know, sometimes you just got to take that
take that flute out. I was kicked out of super Tramp,
is that right? Yes, I'm so sorry. Yeah, that was
(17:23):
my total But they went on to Great Heights and
I refused to listen to anything done by Super Tramp.
Did you become a family on Downton Abbey? Did you guys?
Did you guys hang out a lot and do barbecues?
We were yeah, we were close. Yeah, we had a
great time. Yeah. I mean we can talk about other
(17:44):
things if if you want, um, other things, Yeah, like Brexit.
We've moved on. We've moved on from Brexit. What happened
with Brexit, by the way, it was was a lot
of sitting in there through. Yeah it finally that was
a spicy meat ble. That was a spicy a spicy meatble.
(18:08):
Are people satisfied with what's going on now? Post Brexit.
I don't. I don't think they are. The British don't
digest spicy meatballs. Well who does spicy curries though? Oh? Absolutely?
That's why the Queen of England still rules India to
take all the curry and bring it to London, is
(18:30):
what my research says. Like all famous British actors or
anyone of from England who has any notoriety, do you
own a soccer team? I'm not. Yeah, I don't know,
but is that an aspiration? I mean, what's the going
(18:52):
right for for a soccer team? I'm sure it's at
least half a million. I'll do some saving up, might
be fun, or maybe I should get a soccer team
over here, since you know Americans and Canadians like to
go over to the UK and buy soccer teams perpaps.
We could oh to Shay, Yeah, wouldn't that be fun?
(19:13):
I'm all for it. Yeah, I mean, do whatever you
want to do. You're Matthew, Oh, I think it's a
it's more I can trying to introduce cricket to America. Now, cricket,
that is a fascinating game. Have you watched the cricket
watched a little bit like the base, you have the
wickets exactly. You have a batsman. Yeah, you have a ball,
(19:35):
You try to throw it as hard as you can,
you bounce it off the ground, and then someone just
blindly swings tries to make on top of this sport
for an American, A lot of people don't know what
and then you just running a straight line back and
forth down the wicket and the matches go on for days.
(19:55):
They can do yeah, up to five days. Point of that,
just nine innings is long enough. Our baseball games are
pretty long, pretty long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm talking days,
five days. Yeah, a five day test match, five day
test matches. Why is it called a test match? That's
a very good question. I think because it's it's a
(20:16):
real test. It's a real test day. Serious. You don't
just play one five game, you play a whole series.
And English mind games is usually considered one of the
better cricket teams. Well, I mean, like many things, we
invented this sport and then took it around the world
and then better than better than that, because right now
(20:36):
I believe the top cricket teams are Panama, uh, Uruguay, um, Madagascar.
Uh oh, what's that? Place, Turks and Keiko anywhere. I think.
I think all of those places may have a day. Yeah, yeah,
(20:58):
there is. There is a traditional of cricket in Hollywood.
The Hollywood Cricket team used to be British actors and
movie people who were missing their sports and got to
play cricket all year around in the beautiful sunshine. And
some of them would bring their butlers, and they would
have their butlers bring their spectacles onto the pitch that
they could see the ball. It's a long way from baseball.
(21:27):
What are you working on now, Matthew. I thought you
were all into butlers. That was just I one of
my way. No, I used to I've had many butlers,
and uh, they usually get fired because there incapable of
(21:51):
you know, doing the job the way I like to
do it. I'm very fastidious. So I mean, what last
time you fire your butler? Yes, it was because he
saw you cry? Right, the previous butler got fired because
he saw you cry. It's embarrassing. I don't want a
(22:15):
lot though, and they need to pick up the queue
of what I'm about to cry and leave the room.
But they end up just watching it like I'm some
freak show. Can I can I ask you a question? Wrong?
Please sit down to cry? Oh my god, just the
thought of it. If I heard the opening bars of
(22:39):
the theme song to two Pieces and I'm not I'm
not talking like sniffles, like full from the bowels man
crying and my my condo has paper thin walls, um
(23:06):
and really piss off the neighbors. I'm like, get some earplugs.
I'm watching Downton Abbey. You know this is about to happen. Dan,
(23:29):
Would you indulge me because I wrote a letter to
you that I keep in my wallet and I was
too afraid to send it to you. Uh, but you're here?
Can I read it? Okay? Why? Why were you just
right to send it? And I always keep it on
my person wherever I go every day in hopes that
(23:54):
I would ever run into you. What? Nothing? Yeah, So
I wrote this a while ago, and dear Lord Crowley,
can I call you Matthew? My name is Ron Burgundy.
(24:15):
I'm not wanting to fall in love exactly easily. Sorry,
I'm not wanting to fall in love easily. I admit
I've never experienced same sex attraction. I support all kinds
of love, mind you, but for me, it's a rare
occasion when a man can stir emotions inside my bosom
(24:39):
like you have. Would you ever consider having me as
your wife? I would honor the traditions of Downton Abbey,
and as your wife, I would make sure all of
(25:00):
the curtains and floors and pictures on the wall we're
We're dusted every day. Ron Burgundy. That's signed Ron Burgundy.
If yes, write me at this enclosed address, that's beautiful.
(25:24):
I'm so tire strong to thank you means so much,
so happy to hank you to n You don't have
to clap, you'll have to tap. I shouldn't have read
that out loud. Let me apologize to you. I'm sorry.
Um who how you gonna cry? No, I'm not gonna cry.
(25:48):
I'm not gonna cry now. But if the whole audience
sang bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bam
bam bam bam bam, I feel we should stop. Matthew Crawley, sorry, dad.
(26:12):
This has been an honor and a privilege of a lifetime.
Did I get to meet the Prime Minister? No? No,
I did not. Will I ever get to meet him?
Probably not? But I would trade this encounter for a
thousand meetings with the Prime Minister again and again and again.
(26:36):
You're a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you, and you
are you are like an angel. You were like an
angel who has descended upon all of us and touched
us with your majesty. And everyone is going to leave
this there tonight a changed person and we'll do better
(26:58):
because of your presence. You're a vision dressed in white light,
emanating from you, cascading out and piercing the souls, the hearts,
the internal organs of everyone in this theater, in the city,
(27:20):
in this country, in this hemisphere, in this solar system.
And that is not hyperbole. Dance Stevens. Everyone, thank you
so much. Thank you wrong lady dat Seed for great
(27:45):
nat Seed. Oh that was a lot. That was Boner City, USA,
right there, Boner next up, Boner City. U s A
(28:06):
get my passport out stamped multiple times? Got it, I'm
stamping all the pages in my passport. I'm only gonna
go one place, the Boner City. Who Oh, yeah, that
(28:31):
was a lot. Uh. I could get stuck in a
ditch from here on out and I will be a
happy man. Well, we have to thank Largo quickly for
having us. Yes, the people are wonderful here. The buffet
in the back leaves something to be desired for. Its
(28:51):
out all day. That's day old lobster. Back there, They're like,
we have lobster buffet, and I'm like, how old is
this lobster? Have you ever eaten tainted lobster? Tainted? Yes? No,
you don't want to. I don't get to know. Okay,
numerous times? What kept you going back? I was at
(29:13):
a crush on the waitress. Okay, I'm gonna help yourself.
Couldn't help myself. That sin? It was that sin. Yes,
you know it's tainted lobster. If your mouth starts foaming,
I think that's much more serious than just some tainted lobster.
I think maybe it was. Yeah, yeah, it's system just
(29:35):
shutting down. Yeah, my system did shut down. Pepsis. Sepsis, babe, sepsis,
But you take a pepsi to cure sepsis. It sounds similar,
but it has nothing to do with it, and sepsis
is just a breakdown of the internal organs. Altogo. All
(29:57):
the lights are going out. Okay, you don't want to
go there. Tainted lobster, don't do it. Should we bring
out our next guest? Yes, yeah, I think we should.
In fact, it's very apropos. I think you guys are
going to find this as a let the dogs out
(30:26):
so primal. Yes, it is. It's primal. Our next guests.
Oh Boy is a world famous Emmy Award winning television host.
He owns three restaurants here in California. He is best
(30:46):
known for his show on the Food Network Diners, Drive
Ins and Dives. Please welcome, Guy, Pierre. Thank you guys. Pierre.
(31:19):
Now it is Guy. It's not. It's it's it's not.
It's like, but if you go to France or to Montreal,
do you say call me? You just keep it Guy,
I keep it Guy. I lived in France. I was
an exchange student in France sixteen and and that was
(31:39):
the worst thing that they could call me was it
was just too close to geek. It was a very
it was difficult step PERI. Yeah, I agree. I agree.
I said, Pari, this is crazy, isn't it. Um Let's
(32:05):
get okay, let's let's get right into it here. We've
got some good questions here. What's your favorite diner you've
been to? I mean, I have a little I have
a little indie restaurant near my house called McDonald's. Um,
it's not Scottish food, but they do breakfast, lunch, and
dinner and I just love it. What's your what's your
(32:27):
favorite diner? If you can even name one, I it's
it's like what your what's your favorite kid or your
favorite song. It's almost impossible. Yeah, you really can't just
go because when you go to one of these places,
it's it's kind of like being in the moment. You're
not just eating the food, You're you're meeting the people,
You're having the experience. You're you're kind of breathing it
all in, you know, gonna is there a certain region
(32:49):
of the country that has a preponderance of good diners
over another or they just wonderance? Yes, how do you
spell that? Okay? Pr E E P O E D
E R E n c X the exercile at the
ex silent Um. I think, uh top three one one
(33:14):
of my favorite cities of Chicago. Great great, great city
for food. By the bay, yeah, um, I think or
by the lake. It's bear Lake. You know. Um, I'm
not gonna argue with you about it. Right now. We
don't have to give. I would go to that point,
(33:34):
but I think we pronounced a different way. But how
would you how do you pronounce it? Which Chicago? I
kind of have fun with it. I call it Chicago. Okay,
all right? Um, so I would say Chicago, I would say,
I think l A has gotta dynamite food scene, a
lot of healthy joints, um, and then I would I
would have to go. I don't know, man. I think
(33:57):
I think Florida has got a good a good food
where warm, wherever people can eat outdoors. And you have
a lot of ethnic You've got a lot of culture.
Seems like you get a nice little melting a melting
pot a stew if you will. Yeah, you kind of
make it sound a little funky, but no, yeah, do
you enjoy making stews? Not a big stew person. I'm
(34:17):
a big crock pot guy. Throw it in the crock
pot six hours later, I got a meal. Now. A
lot of times I don't pay careful enough attention to
what I've actually put in the pot. There could be
pieces of cardboards, shards of glass, Like if you didn't
take the pasta out of the box and the whole
thing just but it is convenient what's the grossest thing
(34:43):
you've ever eaten? Um? That lobster back there, right, that's
it's tempting because it looks like it's pretty good lobster.
It's the lighting, the light. Yeah, it's seeving back there,
and it is frofty at the mouth, and the PEPs
it did not help. Yeah, I'm a my my everybody
(35:08):
knows that I'm not a big egg fan, but my
real nemesis is beef liver. Oh yeah, you could hide
the keys to a free ferrari under a plate of
beef liver. There would be no way I would ever.
I mean, I can't. There's something, there's a funk. There's
a minerality factor to who's a beef beef liver fan. Yeah,
(35:28):
you gave me a crazy one on that you like
beef liver and know Oh okay, I thought you were saying, no,
I beef liver. I do not know it as I
can't even be when we go to we've shot triple
D joints and they'll be cooking it just on the
menu for somebody else. And I right, oh you got
un in the Yeah, I started getting the heat. I
mean organ meats in general, right, anything that had a job. Yeah,
(35:53):
that's the dogs up. Did you tell me that you
felt like you're in genera? Oh yeah, general, Yeah, that's
what um No, it organ meets. I'm not a fan
of any of the parts of the animal that had
a job, if it licked, pushed, filtered, any of those parts,
(36:16):
I'm not. That's not my favorite. Not my favorite. I mean,
don't get me wrong. Trip's got his place, and sweetbreads
have their place and so forth. But to me particularly,
that's not my first go to. It's not like meat
and a cone kind of thing, like a chicken gizzard.
Although you do if you cook it correctly, it's still
tastes bad. Yeah. Here's something I've always wanted to ask you.
(36:43):
You've always did you write me a letter? Always? Did
I get a letter? I didn't write one. D um.
If it's a guy that goes first, he gets a letter,
well he's just I know, he's magnificent. I saw him
back there. I've got posters of him all over my
walls still this day. I was able to get a photograph.
I've got a at eight, I got a basically the
(37:06):
size of a Persian rug tapestry woven of Matthew Crawley
Dan Stevens. I used it as a blackout shade in
my living room ever since my curtains burned down because
I left the crop pot. It was short, sir. Here's
(37:28):
my question. Here's my question. I think he's a question
a lot of people wouldn't want to ask. Have you
ever eaten a human toe? Cooked? Cooked? Or or right?
Out of the show? Right either way? Yeah? Not even
time I watch you say, I'm just like God, is
(37:48):
he ever eating a human toe? It's gonna lead me
and it's probably gonna haunt me later down the line.
So I'm gonna say no of the eating of the
toe because the reason why I bring it up here's
a hypothetical. You got it. You got a chef, buddy,
great buddy. You believe in him as a chef. He's
(38:09):
finally opened up his brand new restaurant, and he's he's
got talent. You're not. It's not just a friend like, oh,
stop by and give him some support. But he's he's
very good. You're happy for him or her or her
or them or them or them uh uh. And the
(38:35):
first course they bring out is a delightful soup or
stew or stew and it's really good, and you're thinking yourself,
my friend here is knocking it out of the park.
This is gonna be great. And you bite into a
human toe. What do you do? Do you just chew
up that grisly toe and swallow it for the benefit
(38:57):
of your friends so they don't get shut down by
the health department, or do you follow ethics and say,
I'm sorry, dear friend, I found a toe in the soup.
Where is this hypothetical from I'm sorry and I want
my money back that I invested in your restaurant? What
(39:19):
would you how would you handle that? It's a dear,
dear friend. Well, my first question, just as a chef
comes to me way through eating the toes, it doesn't
taste that bad. Well that was gonna be My question
is where are the other four toes? But maybe I'm
getting cheated on the deal. Maybe maybe it's maybe it
(39:43):
is a toes. Can I get some more toes? That's
the way to fix it round for the house? Right,
let's bring this so now, I don't know that I
would I think I would go with the flow, you know,
I'd go with the toe, you know, go with the toe.
Thank you. I'll be here all week, tried to code.
(40:05):
You own restaurants all over the place. UM have a few,
more than three, by the way, But I appreciate the
shout out. It wasn't you did the research. It was not.
It was hard for I have four. Okay, so we
(40:27):
weren't off by a lot, but we got to kind.
I mean, that's still a C plus, which my book
I took it. That's graduated him. You're still getting out
(40:47):
of school, so you own restaurants. Is it is it
cool not to ever pay for a meal? Or is
that just a stupid question? Well? I think when everybody
goes out to dinner and one person picks up the
check and the other people don't pay for the meal,
I think that's okay. But I think that like just
(41:08):
like not not at all paying for the me only.
I don't think that's very cool. I don't think that's
very nice. Even if your friend owns the place and
you play jazz food, it doesn't matter. So don't dine
and ditch is what you're saying. Exactly good. I would
never do it. Good. By the way, you know where
you can't dine and ditch sin across the road there
(41:30):
because they will come chasing you with tire irons and
prow bars. You will give you it, will give you
a lash. Okay, so you own a vineyard? Is that correct?
I lived by vineyards by veneards. Do you do you don't?
Do you own one? Or no? No? I used to,
(41:52):
I used to have, and I have a wine. We
have a wine company. We have a wine company called
hunt Ride. We have a tequila business called Santo Tequila.
We have a couple little projects like what about a
wine and may honor called ron Burgundy's classy Shibli Burgundy
and together again for the first time. It could be
a blend. I like it. It could be a lot
(42:14):
in a boxer bottle boxes, better box definitely, definitely one
on one side, one on the other. Drain it quicker.
Let's start working on this right away. We're in a backpack. Yeah,
camel back. You can bring it with you. Yeah, bring
it with you. Another hose for a friend to just
get ahead. Just tape a hefty trash bag to your
(42:34):
back full of Chablis and Burgundy blended together. What a mix?
Go to the beach. I always drink wine on the beach.
(43:00):
Would you ever start a restaurant? With me. I mean no,
I think it would be great in the restaurantusiness. I
think we got to serve rack of lamb because it's
just a classy classy. Is this a classy joint we're
doing or is this a die well? I don't know,
I just joined across the street. Or is like the
lobster in the back? I only go to restaurants if
they don't have racca lamb, I walk out, got it?
(43:23):
Got it? Okay, lamb lamb, Chili of course, and meat
in a cone meat three items. Keep it simple right there,
right there, great, keep it simple, low overhead, low overhead,
(43:43):
one cook, one cook, or cook it yourself at your
table exactly. We bring it out. We bring it out
kind of one of like those um like a like
a Benny Hunter, like they have a hot uh about
people burning themselves or any kind of it's on. It's
you have them sign a waiver. Check your own racket, lamb.
(44:07):
What would you like to call it, though? I mean,
what would the name of our place? Because it can
be hot hot totsis okay, we're competing with strip joint,
but that's fine. You have a lot of restaurant ideas though,
I do you have a bunch of restaurant ideas well? No,
I have restaurant ideas always keep with me all the time.
(44:28):
I have jotted down on scraps of paper, can I
and this is the time to share them? Right? Wow,
let's see. Is it a fortune cookie paper? It's just
note but line notebook paper. My iPad broke, so okay,
(44:54):
this one's called. This restaurant is called All About the Loaf.
Just a meatloaf buffet. I like it. I like it
different types of meat loaf or just one meat loaf
and different sauces either way. Okay, that's good. It's a
lot of options. No shirt, no shoes, no booze, so
(45:14):
it's super casual, relaxed. So you know, shirt, no shoes,
no booze. So you can't drink their super casual. But
you can't drink half naked and no buzz. Yeah that sucks.
So you don't like that. That one wasn't good. But
the meat loaf meat Loaf Haven. I like All about
(45:36):
the Loaf. Oh yeah, that's that was our tagline though,
meat Loaf Haven. How about a restaurant called Surprise. Yeah,
so you sit down. I've been envisioning it right now.
(45:57):
You say this menu is blank. What's on the menu?
Excep what's under the apron? Very well? That that could
be an offshoot part through it. What's in the drink?
So we like that. I like that one. Could we
put surprise in the meat loaf together surprise meat low Okay, okay,
(46:17):
I don't want to quickly start brain. I don't want
to expand too quickly. I don't want to expand. You
gotta keep central. And here's an here's another conceptual one.
It's called family dinner. We provide the family. So you
you you go in by yourself, we're feeling lonely, We'll
(46:43):
set you up with a family. It's all family style
and uh so you so, let me get this straight.
That's what I'm doing. You're you or without that one?
You're already going to doing that one I'm doing. So
can I just get designers? Do you just do you
get to pick the family or do we pair you
(47:04):
up with the family? Uh so you're just walking in turn,
guests can pick their family. You've got a good meal with,
you know, kind of like how Jurgensen's over there. They're like,
oh yeah, uh oh, welcome back guy. Okay, the usually
want to sit with the Jurgensen's Jens. That's like that's
a made up family's So it's kind of like going
(47:25):
to so I don't want to get letters from all
the Jergens child Jez Louise. Okay, okay, do you pay
for the family's meal? Uh? You? Or do you just
pay a search charge for the family to be charged
for the family as you can tip the family if
you're enjoying your time? How many meals is this family
(47:47):
gonna eat? You gotta be there all day. I can't
let them go. I can't let them go. Oh my god,
they're gonna be They're gonna really have consumed a lot. Okay.
This restaurants, now, this one's a little more adventurous, more
for the foodies. This is called shoot your own. Uh
you're basically you walk into the restaurant, which is just
(48:10):
a structure and a wild an a wild animals released
and you've got to shoot it, clean it, kill it,
cook it everything like a wild boar. Okay it can
ring um? Okay, I mean that's is there more than one? Is?
(48:32):
Are other people dining in this? Are we just shooting
across the room at each other It depends if we
if we're guaranteed that they're relatively good, aim, we can
have multiple diners. Otherwise, Yeah, I really thought this out. Okay,
(48:53):
get back to me on that. I do like where
you're going. Whatever is dangerous, don't come on Thursday. Thursday
night is panther night. And that's a you don't want
to be in. Sixty percent of the time. It works
all the time. One of my favorite of all of them.
Here's an interesting one. It's a place called Ready, Set Go.
(49:15):
Thirty second meals get you in and out, probably more
like oatmeal, soft soft foods, shakes, nothing you have to
chew too quickly, but we d go like hot chili,
hot chili. If you're not done by thirty seconds, we
take the plate away from you and we kick you
out because we got to turn the tables over. Right.
(49:36):
Met loaf and a blender. Oh, we already did a
met I like it. And then that's the last one
I've already started. Uh, and it's doing really well. It's
called Olive Garden. Uh. And I was kicking but and
then I got shut down. These guys and suits showed
(49:58):
up and told me there was already a chain called
olive guarden. That's bull, no kidding. You know they always
that they'll do that to you, this young entrepreneur trying
to make his way in Corduroy, and then all of
a sudden they take it away from you. That's bull.
I'm sorry. If I listen, I'll help you out. Let's go.
Let's get back to the meat. Loaf, the low loaven,
(50:18):
low low fload, meat, low floor, low fload. I don't
think so. Uh uh, all about the loaf? How can I?
(50:39):
Who's that pop artists? Is things all about the babe?
That bab We could get Megan Trainer to sing a
song that plays on a loop inside the restaurants, all
about the loaf, the loaf, the loaf. Yeah, I like it.
I like it. I think that has promised. I think
that that along with the we like that and the
restaurant with the family. Yeah. You collect classic cars? Am I? Right? Yes? What? What?
(51:04):
What do you have? What kind of cars? A lot
of Chevies, Chevelle, Corvette, Scarrows, ranging from what years, mainly
in the late sixties, early seventies. Um, do you know
anything about a escort? Mine? Mine is stuck in the
(51:25):
driveway and it's it's really funny noise. When I try
to start it up. You want to buy it off me.
I want to roll dice for it. All rolled dice anytime.
That's that's how I got out of giving blood the
last time. I said, look, I'm not gonna give blood,
(51:46):
but all rolled dice for some reason. The young woman
at the Red Cross goes okay, and we and I
beat her two out of three times, and I'm like,
see a sucker, good blood from some other Yahoo. I
hope you guys know how bad I'm dying up here
right now. Speaking of cars, your name is Guy Fiery.
(52:10):
It sounds like a race car driver named to me. Um,
how did you get such a cool name? My family?
It's a really cool name. Yeah, my family. But I
got the name Guy. Guys. Not that it's not I
mean like ron is like Ronald or something. You know,
it's dignity. I got guys. He is his name. Girl.
(52:30):
You know I got enough of those jokes. Um, So
guy and guys not short for anything. Guy's just guy.
And my parents were hippies. Okay, that that explains a
lot of Yeah, thank you very much. But I do
have an alias, which is Gus Ferrari. Oh, Gus Ferraria, Okay,
I was having There were two ladies who were having
an argument about not as cool as guy fiery. I
(52:53):
don't think so either, But Gus Ferrari does get me
out a lot of pinches. It's just like a secret
speakeasy thing. Yeah, we're not gonna tell anybody. We'll just
keep between us. Don't worry about it. On the d
L ignore all of these microphones. In two thousand and fifteen,
(53:14):
you officiated at the wedding of your good friend Art
Smith with one and one same sex couples in attendance
as a way to celebrate Florida's lifting the ban on
same sex marriage. That's incredible. What that's amazing that you
did that. I just want to applaud that. Well, thank you,
(53:35):
And it was an honor and on a very serious note, um,
to watch a hundred one couples that were being kept
from expressing their love and being together, um by some
law that's I don't know who makes those kind of laws.
But but to see to be the person that stood
there to say to them, you are all now one
or you're now married, and to see the tears and
(53:57):
the energy and the love and the embrace and the
whole thing was probably one of the most overwhelming things
I've ever done. That's so great, wonderful, it's really cool.
And most of the marriages were knows. Is that is
that correct and so wrong? Yes? Um, I think people
(54:28):
should also know that you're involved in a lot of charities.
Un can you can you talk about that before you go,
because I just do have to say this guy raised
million dollars for restaurant workers during the pandemic because the
restaurant industry was the one of the hardest hit industries
(54:50):
by far. Yeah, it was. I think probably everybody thinks
that the restaurant industry is gonna be there. You know,
you go out early in the morning, restaurants are open.
You go late at night, restaurants are open one way,
shape or form. Restaurants are there to service. And I've
been in the industry my whole life, and I just
knew that when that closing was happening, particularly here in California,
I just knew that there were so many people that
(55:11):
were not going to be getting that paycheck or those
tips that there's so much relying on. And I was
really frustrated. So I sent out forty three emails, actually
video messages to the big corporations, to the cfo CEOs
that run these companies. And I don't know the bosses,
the bosses the big they haven't got it the ron
(55:31):
burgundaries of the business. So I sent out these messages
and said, you've been doing really good off the restaurant
industry forever. How about right now, you dig deep and
you give some money and let's get it to the workers.
And I'm not talking about the owners. I'm talking about
the workers. I'm talking about the people that are really
counting on the on the money. And I got a
lot of not kicked back. But my team thought I
(55:52):
was crazy. In my family, I sent him out on
a Sunday night and Monday morning, at nine o'clock, PEPSI
called and gave us a million bucks. And that's how
I got started. Yeah, it's really full, but you're the
you're a philanthropist to get into it. But we've got
some charities sure that I work with. The one I'm
(56:15):
most proud of it's very dear to my heart. Um
it's called Tots for Tots, And what I do is
I give tater tots two children whether they want them
or not, I'd give them tater tots, and just to
see the smile of young child's face, grease streaming down
(56:39):
his cheeks, as he's just like a little chipmunk stuffed
full with tater tots. If they want them or not,
whether they want them or not, a lot of them
run away. A lot of them say no, Ron, I've
had enough. I say, I'll tell you when you've had enough.
Get back here. I've got a two pounds of frozen
(57:02):
tater tots in the back of my van, single file
all and anyway. So I am so proud. It's amazing.
You've done great stuff. So have I. Caroline is too busy.
(57:24):
But where are we going to dinner tonight after the show?
Oh you're too busy? Uh? Are we gonna invite your
friend that you wrote the letter to? Or? And we
are definitely, In fact we could. We told security to
not let Dan leave, right, he's not going anywhere. In fact,
I think there's a net back there a net, and
(57:44):
I try to someone throw a net over Dan bound
his legs gently. Let's just you know, yes, let's put
him little tranquilizer dad and then put him back in
the tater tot bamatam um. Guy Fiery, you can't thank
(58:07):
you enough for coming onto. The show's been what next,
Guy Fiery? Everyone? Thank you much. I wonder what I who? Well,
(58:30):
We're We've just about run out of time here, unfortunately,
but I'd like to internet with one final piece. I'd
like to call my take. You can leave. Yes, I've
(58:58):
got a quick question for you. Have Americans lost their
collective minds? The reason why I asked this is because
everywhere I turn, every single person, and I mean every
single person has a service animal. Have you noticed this? Now?
(59:27):
I fully understand seeing eye dogs or service dogs in general,
but now things have gotten out of control. Have you
flown recently? It's like I'm on Noah's Arc service dogs
and cats and chinchillas and parrots and service komodo dragons.
(59:51):
This is Dracula, my service bats. I've hantusak your blood Sha,
don't talk to me in a cute see Dracula voice.
It has gotten so bad. I I once witnessed someone
bringing on board a service giraffe. Granted it was a
(01:00:16):
baby giraffe, and it was an Airbus three, pretty pretty
big plane, so but it was never gonna fit, but
the flight crew had to delicately handle the situation because
the passenger was threatening to kill herself if she couldn't
bring the service giraffe on board. I quickly took a
(01:00:37):
selfie with the draft before the proverbial hit the fan.
That giraffe was cute. It's still pretty big for a baby.
I'm not gonna lie. Part of me thought, boy, that'd
be fun to get that giraffe on board. But that's
the one and only time I felt aligned with someone's
(01:00:58):
service animal. In fact, what are the rules exactly governing
these animals? It it makes me want to test the system.
Can I bring a large cooler on board with my
baby's service great white shark or a special satchel with
my service tarantula? Remember snakes on a plane? We are
(01:01:22):
perilously close to making that scenario everyday reality. What about humans?
We are technically animals? Heck, we are animals right? Next
up I fly? Can I bring my drinking buddy champ
kind with me? And when they when they asked for
(01:01:43):
a ticket, can I just explain that he doesn't need one.
He's my service animal. He's just gonna lie on the
floor in this sleeping bag. We're gonna eat homemade nachos,
drink scotch, and he's going to keep me calm. Think
about it. Why can't I do that? Or maybe I'm
(01:02:04):
going to release a swarm of bees and just tell
everyone to relax. They're my service animals. Relax, they will
eventually congregate near one of the bathrooms, and please don't
order any sugary drinks. I guess the question is, how
(01:02:26):
do we get the genie back in the bottle? Well,
maybe we're right. Well, maybe we're just simply past the
point of no return. When I really pause to think
about it, maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I need to
(01:02:48):
change my way of thinking, and maybe, just maybe, the
next time I'm stuck in coach sitting in between a
coyote and a spider monk, as long as there's a
mutual understanding that no one's gonna bite me in the face,
(01:03:11):
then what's the big deal. At the end of the day,
we are all God's creatures. So maybe let's just sit back, relax,
and enjoy the two and a half hour flight to Albuquerque.
I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my take. Up. Stuck up guy,
(01:03:38):
stuck up. All this duck will try so we never
get stuck up. Bring so far to get up a
lot of bandwids, and he's a god. He ain't don't
stand and he doesn't have he's on a night sized stand,
which because everybody knows he's the Furgusy Bandon The Ron
Burgundy Podcast
Host
Will Ferrell
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