Minivan Defenders

Jana, Kathryn and Kristen get into some lesser known parenting challenges, from memories of childhood, to being a parent yourself. Jana opens up about why there’s nothing more important than being there at her kids sports games.

 

We dive into the rumors about Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell after Sydney called off her engagement! What happens when you make a movie and have undeniable chemistry??

 

And… could Jana become a “minivan mom”??

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Are we ready?

Speaker 3 (00:08):
This is so professional? I don't feel qualified. I don't
all of a sudden, I don't know if it's the
ring light or if it's the little mic. I think
it's this, the little Mike Cassen. We got to step
up our.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Game, ladies.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
You know. I mean I just this new format, knew
us knew like we knew new reviews. People seem to
be liking it.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I get, so it's right.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
Well, I texted you, ladies. I had to give a
little I had to play, have a little fun.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
With and you've done that twice to me this week,
and I just any.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
Way, I facetimed you their day. You didn't call me
back as you. I didn't.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't really look at my face times because I
hate FaceTime, so I don't look at them.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
So sorry.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Remember when you texted me and you were like, oh
my gosh, you're not going to believe this, and then
you went away.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Oh yeah, I can't literally handle that.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
The ultimate cliffhanger. That's what she does. She's like, you
guys are never going to guess, and we're both like,
what what you know?

Speaker 2 (01:04):
How many scenarios when I made up in my mind?

Speaker 3 (01:07):
What did you think I had so many? Tell me
one I really can't. I'll tell you later. The the
first one that I no, you have to can't. Yes,
you can.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
I can't because it's about other people. I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh like friends, kind of, yes, kind of all of
the above. But I just you know, so I was like, oh,
I already made us about.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Scenario.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
And then I was like, well, she was just at this,
so she was around these people. I mean, this is
what my brain does when you walk away. Just so
you're clear, that's.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
So funny, really ruminate. Oh yeah, and scenario I'm allergic
to kale And we're like, all.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Right, was that way a little bit?

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Don't you guys know me well enough to know that, No.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
It could go either way.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Oh true, And even if it was a huge deal,
you'd still walk away and then come back to it
an hour later.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
Right, I mean we were having a mental breakdown or
right there? I yes, I threw up kale rights.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Anyway, back to what we were saying.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
That's what we were saying.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
People seem to be loving this new format, which we
love you guys, Thanks for hanging on tight with us
the Mirror posportive.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
I know your post the other day where someone said
kit Kat like literally like made me smile so big.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
It was I love that they've picked up KitKat.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
I know, oops, that's okay, right, Okay, okay, it's cute. Okay,
we're not laughing making fun of.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
No.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
This is happy.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I would like even going to ocean mode. I just
was making sure that you're not like, okay, now I
have it was cute, okay. I also loved how many
people talked about what you were going through maybe funny enough.
In that same week, I had a therapy session around
it around family, primarily uh well, I would say, it's

(03:04):
both my mom and dad. But there was something that
happened at Jolie's softball game and it was between It
was actually between Alan and I and it wasn't like
we didn't have like a fight or anything, but I
told you know, he ended up He ended up coming
with Roman and Jolie was up to bat. It was
her first softball game in the season. I was like, hey,

(03:25):
can you come get Roman? And later on he's like,
why didn't you just like, why did you need me
to come ground. I was like I and I started
kind of talking about that in therapy, and my core
of it was I was like, my mom never went
to one competition ever. No, she never came to a
skating competition. And my therapist is like, well, who drove
I was like my coach, I was like, no, granted, yes,

(03:45):
did my mom have to work, Yes she did, and
I want to you know, I understand that our parents
had jobs, but it's something that I remember as a kid,
not having my mom there. Now I understand. And then
my dad same thing, like he never came to to
a skating at practices or anything, something that's always ingrained
in me. I was like, so it's really And I
was able to have a really nice kind of full

(04:07):
circle moment with Alan to be like, hey, I know
why now, I asked, and why I can't understand why.
You were like, why can't you just watch him?

Speaker 4 (04:13):
I was like, but to me, I want to be
so present for my kids at games because I didn't
have that. And then I also saw when we were
at Jace's, I saw your your father in law or
your your father in law there and I was like, what.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
A grandparent And it just kind of made me think
too how nice it would be to have that, you know,
support and people watching and stuff, which then brought me
back to u KB. But it was interesting because I
do want to bring up one of the comments on
the page. I'm tender today. I know, Okay, okay, all
that time, I know, but I want to come in
with that morning. But I also I almost I started

(04:51):
to comment back to it because I think I like
people going on our wind down page and having comments
in favor and not in favor totally. Let's let's chat
about it, right, And so one of the comments I
wanted to come to your defense in it, but I
stopped myself because I'm like, it's not really my defense
to do for you. So I thought this is a
good opportunity to bring it up on the shop for

(05:14):
perfect I love it, but no, it's good she allergic
to Kale. No, but it's a good point because someone said,
you know, Devil's advocate Kristen talks a lot about when
her when Preston's family does come into town, it's like,

(05:34):
I don't want them to come into town. But then
she's saying, well, I need more help. So it's the
contradiction between I'm like, but it's two different things, and
I just want you to have a space to be
able to talk about the fact that it's one is
one is needing help in one. When they do come,
it's not help, right, so I think, and I almost
said this, but I didn't want it to come across.

(05:55):
I wanted it to be fully just my experience and
not throwing in money under the bus. Sure the help
that they're not. I've told you guys this before. I
learned very early on in being a mother with the
sets of families that we have, that there's a difference
between company and help. Yes, and my in laws are

(06:16):
wonderful company. It is not their fault. It's also really
hard because they're not in our every day. But when
I tell you that, there is not enough GPS to
get them from my house to a gas station. So
if I was to and Preston and I even talked
about this, you know, like what if they came to help,
will put it in air quotes, like if they came

(06:36):
to help, it would be so much else on me
because he's not home, so he can't take care of
them that weekend, like they need their own people. And
and then I would run this risk of listen, I
don't I think they could figure it out. Maybe I'm
not trying to be rude when I say this, Like

(06:57):
I have a mother in law that doesn't leave the
house ever. So it's just like it would be a
wild world for her out there. It would be overwhelming
for her. And that kind of spills over to a
six year old kid having to kind of be the
adult in that situation, and I'm like, that's not fair
to him either. So I kind of wanted yeah, that no,
And I almost said that because I was like, I

(07:17):
know what this looks like. But then I and I'll
say this, I could call my mom and she could
come into town too, And so I've had to.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Weigh that out.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Here's the problem with that piece, and I'm going to
come to your with that. With that, and I understand
that comes all the stuff that we're dealing with in
therapy that is coming out that is hard to So
it's like, do I want to have that anxious energy
or and you know, have the help or do I

(07:49):
just figure it out. It's it's a hard and.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
They don't know him super well. That's what I think.
It's hard if you grow up in a town with
your family. You can't imagine a world world where your
your parents are your brothers and sisters don't know your
kids at like the same level as your friends. But
for us, our friends know our kids really well, and
so it's more comforting for Legend and cool for Legend

(08:13):
to have like the police family take him that day,
which I've worked out, I think, and I'll still miss
his game potentially, but we'll see, but at least he
has people he does life with, he does dinners with,
and he does you know, like so they'll be cheering
him on and that'll be super rad for him. Yeah,
so it is.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
Yeah, I mean, but I think it's cool from that
is that a lot of people relate to that. They're
also trying to figure out how to get to a
B and C all the same time, So a lot
of moms that can relate to that, I do.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Catherine. Something else that you shared with me this week
are do you want to talk about it on the podcast?
Do you need a minute to think about it?

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Which one I'm just kidding. Yeah, what would you like?
Sure we can talk about it?

Speaker 3 (08:59):
Is? Sure?

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Do you know what it is?

Speaker 3 (09:01):
No? I know? Do you want to tell everybody. We
gotta at least tell me.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
I know, I was trying to tell her where were
coming in no, So I mean, yeah, I'm happy to share.
And it's just the beginning of the journey of it.
So I don't know how it'll be for me, But
you know, I think I talked about a while back
that I went on Pam's program that she has to
lose weight before to get in shape and lose weight
before your wedding.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
I did that.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
I lost about seventeen or so pounds, kind of leveled
off right before your wedding, and that's like when it
was over. And then from there I kind of just
was done. And then I slowly and then quickly gained
all my weight back and then plus a little bit.
So long story short, went back to see, you know,

(09:49):
one of our lovely functional medicine nurse practitioners or.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Whatever they are that we love.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
We've got several of those, went and saw one and
so he was like, I need these numbers down. It's
not about the number on the scale, but these are
the numbers that are important for your health. Let's get
some of these numbers down. So then, long story short,
I asked him, well, how do you feel about, you know,
the weight loss shot, And he's like, I'm all for it,
especially for what we need to do for you. We

(10:14):
just need it for three to six months. So long
story short started that on I started the triseeppetide on
pound on Friday.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
How did you feel? Did you shoot? Give yourself?

Speaker 3 (10:25):
How did your friend do it?

Speaker 1 (10:26):
I did it because it came early. It was supposed
to come like five days. It came the next day.
So I was like, I really wanted to take it
for the weekend because they suggest if you eat more
on the weekends to take it like on Thursday or Friday,
so you know and so, and I'm definitely a big
eater on the weekends. So I went ahead and did
it Friday. I was worried about how I would feel,
but I really have felt totally fine.

Speaker 3 (10:48):
Well, I think it's important because you've done the blood work.
That's kind of like the professionals are always saying, I
think the people that get the sickest are being prescribed
or not the right amount, and they haven't done There's
a lot of like shady clinics that have done this.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
There are, but I think a lot of it, and
they give you a lot of tips. So you're starting
at a very low dosage, so there is a chance
when I up to my next dosage that I could
feel sick, you know.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
So it depends a lot of times.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
They'll get to a certain dosage and that's your sign
this dose is too high. You need to go back down,
or you're dehydrated, you're not drinking enough water. Like they
sent me so much information that I feel like I
finally really understand it, and like drinking water thirty minutes
before you eat in general, and not drinking water when
you and all that, well that how it empties your

(11:33):
stomach when it comes to this, and like all the things.
So it's been very informational. I'm really excited about it
because the reality is, at least for the last couple
of days, I'm still eating. I have a big appetite.
I'm still eating. I'm just getting full faster, and that's
what I need. That's what I need for now because
I am I have a very big appetite. I can

(11:56):
snack a lot at night, and I have not wanted
to snack at night one night since I've taken it.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
I could share your emotions around it like so excited, amazing.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Like great, like really really great around it. I was
so scared to do it and feel sick. That was
my only thing. I wasn't worried to say I took it.
I wasn't any of the things because I knew my
appetite was so big that that's where I really struggle.
And so, and when I'm really hungry, then I pick
really bad. So I've already found that. I'm like, hey,

(12:27):
you know, I am a little bit hungry.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
I need to eat.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Well, I'm going to pick that apple because I'm not
crazy hungry. I don't feel like I can't get enough.
I don't feel so I'm already making better choices. And sure, yeah,
I ate a little bit of the chips and salca
last night with my family, But I didn't like over
and indulge myself like I normally would.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
What happens when you come off? Does the appetite come back?
Or how does that happen?

Speaker 1 (12:49):
I would assume so and so he said, you know,
he said, I think we'll do about six months, he goes,
and then we can address if we need to do
like a maintenance dose. The reality is to gain the
weight back. I may have to do a low dosage.
It's every instead of every week, it's like two weeks
or ten days or two weeks. And that's what my
friends do. Who they it's just a maintenance dose. You

(13:11):
just take it less and it just kind of keeps
you where you are.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
You know, I mentioned something to you on the phone.
I said, there, Well, obviously there'll be a difference, you know,
I don't know when, like you know, if you said,
because I don't, I didn't notice that you put on weight.
I didn't either, that's the thing. And you said you
don't put it on your face. It's more.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
I mean, I can see it in my face now
and photos for sure, but it's mostly belly and I
cover it up.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
I don't know if it's because we're around each other
a lot every week, but I don't. I don't notice.
I didn't notice it, but we will most likely notice
a change. So I said to you, do you is
it okay if we say you look great, because I
don't want you to think that you don't look great before.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, and to be like mindful of that piece of it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
And I really appreciated that question.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Such a fair question, and I will love it, honestly,
Like she was.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
Like, yeah, I want to be like right now, you
look right I walked in, I go, you're so pretty,
Like she's just so pretty to me.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well, you know, I probably got rid of that extra
water weight in the last four days, but you know,
I mean, I.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Do want to know the tips to the other like
eating drinkings.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
So there's so many great things and about the protein
and just all of those things that I do want
to say. I think Pamelin's program that she does is
wonderful and it taught me so many things about macros
that I have taken with me that I knew. I
just also was eating way over what I should have
eaten and I stopped working out. But I am taking

(14:41):
that into this. I am literally eating the same thing
but a little bit less than I was when I
was losing weight before.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
So I just that is such a great program.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
It's such I just need and I can hope maybe
after this that my stomach gets a little bit smaller,
maybe I'm not as hungry and I won't be as
hard to stick to it because I'm not so hungry
in the in the future.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
You said, then no water during dinner, right, Yeah, the
thirty minutes before that.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
You have you ever noticed that I don't drink water.

Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, it's because it's not good for a digestive system,
especially cold water, and I love cold water.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
So it's drinking any before.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
Oh it's anything, yeah, but yeah, but I don't.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
That's on like.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
Thirty minutes before during and thirty minutes after. And as
I rink it before, don't drink at all, don't.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
Drink it all during. So it's it's thirty minutes before
and thirty minutes after. Okay, I'm not doing that. I
drink water.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
You think that you should have water, you know, but
it's and then with this medicine, it says it makes
your stomach empty quicker, so then you're hungry quicker than
you would be. And so that's been a hard one
for me because I'm you know the other I'm a
I love to have a diet coke with my lunch
kind of person. But guess what, I'm not craving as much.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Die.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, I've opened.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
I've started one every single day. I think I finished
a small can, but like I got one last night
at the Mexican restaurant and I was like, why did
I get this?

Speaker 3 (16:03):
This is it good? And I was like, what, I think.
That's the biggest thing I've heard from friends that have
done it is that when it's done right, and even
Nicole said this in an interview that you're like getting
yourself healthy habits and training yourself differently than so then
when you do come off of it, you just approach
food differently more like in a nourishment like ravenous kind of.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
And it's easier to do when you're so hungry, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
And it's like in that moment, it's like, yeah, I
know I should eat this, but just in all the cravings.
It's truly kind of taking some cravings away. Now having
said that, I've done it four days, I'll let y'all
know if that continues, it could change.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
I could start feeling hungry again. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
Well, I just want to say I'm proud of you
because you you waited, you took your time, You really
throw it in thought through this. You know you wasn't
and you kind of battled with it back and forth,
which I think when we were talking about it, it
sounded at that point you're like you were ready to
try it. It's like whatever you want to do, you know,

(17:02):
just want you to be happy.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
And yeah, well and I will say and everyone does
it differently. I feel good about it because A he
was on board. And I mean, I'm going in next
week and then I have to go in like we
have to go in once a month. I have to
get my blood work, I have to check things like
we're gonna want you know.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
So I feel good about that.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
It's not like I'm just going to look and you know,
not know that my body's depleted in all these areas
and stuff. So I feel good about the way I'm
doing it for sure.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
Good. I love it. Did I hear you say you
were emotional? Dude? Yes? Why tell us? Let me? Okay,

(17:50):
how you're trying to cry? Kick, I'm just going to
be the talker today.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
I'm actually I'm going to start this wine down by
like such a pleading tip for you guys.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Okay, well, what did we do.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Has nothing to do listen, it has nothing to do
with y'all. Whatsoever are you at all? But I thank
god follow me. Okay, find people around you who are
with your kids. This has nothing to don't okay, so
kids that are the same age kids. Your kids go
to school with, Okay, parents all the things, and decide

(18:23):
now how you're going to handle things as your kids
get older.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Pam.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
And I've already had this social media, social media and phones.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Phones and you know, all the things, because I am
at a place where I don't regret necessarily that I
gave my kids social media. However, I'm not seeing an
issue with my own child, but I'm seeing issues so
many around her, like depression and anxiety and all the things,

(18:53):
and I'm like, oh my god, And it's starting to
really kind of freak me out because I'm like, what
if she's that way?

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Or like is this too?

Speaker 1 (19:00):
And I'm not really seeing it with my son. He's
not really on it a whole lot. It really is.
These teen girls scroll TikTok. They don't care about Instagram.
They might be on there, not worried about Instagram in
the least, they barely get on there.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
TikTok.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
They sit there and they scroll, and what happens is
their algorithm I think I've talked about this before, becomes
very depressing and very negative real fast to where that's
all they're seeing. So now we have a lot of
kids close to us that are really struggling. And so
now I'm like, man, so Emmy's around all these people
they're really struggling. What does that do to her? What
becomes normal? And I don't I don't mean to say

(19:37):
this in a bad way, but I think it's great
that we've normalized mental health and talking about mental health
a lot. But I struggle with it because now TikTok
is a bunch of teenagers talking about, you know, just
the most depressing things and cutting themselves and killing themselves,

(20:00):
all of these things that now are so normalized in
a sense that it's absolutely terrifying. And I know we
have to talk about mental health. I understand that, and
I'm not saying that we don't, but it's so a
part of their life now that it's I don't know
if it's necessarily doing a lot of good in that regard.
And I struggle with that, and I probably need to

(20:20):
talk to someone about that. But so I started doing
a lot of research.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
Now.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
The other stuff is what I'm emotional about is middle
school girls is just hard, you know, boys being left
out all the things. If I could have people around
me and I didn't feel so alone, like, hey, I'm
only going to let them have Like she doesn't have
Snapchat right now.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
I took that away.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
We have one hour of TikTok a day.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
She's struggling.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
None of her friends have those kinds of like they
can have their phones as long as much as they want,
they can watch as much as they want. I have
no support there, and when I reach out to some
of my friends who are parents, they're not going to
do it, and so it just feels very alone.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
So find your.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
People that will stick to it, so you can go, hey,
look jolly, so and so and so and so and
so and so.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
They don't either, you know, because that gets hard.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
It's really hard to not give in when it's like
they truly feel like they're the only ones.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
So anyway, that's what I've been dealing with this week.
She's fine on social media. I did take snap away
because I feel like they use snapchat as a way
to be very dramatic and things they wouldn't do on
text message. And I don't know if it's because my
daughter knows that I'm looking at her text messages, but
snap gets just very they feel like no one can

(21:35):
see it, so they just get very like, just very
dramatic and this is all I have and what am
I going to do in my life? You know, just
get so heavy that it's just starting to really weigh
on me.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
So I was just talking to someone about snapchat and
I was kind of defending your situation, saying, well, it's
the only way that the kids communicate, and the girl said,
if they were really a friend, they're going to text
to invite the person somewhere. And I was like, that's
a really good point. I was like, I didn't even
think about that, But I'm gonna I'll end up saying
that to my kids to not do the snaps, to
be like, if it's your friend, they're going to text
you regardless.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
So here's the thing I'm learning though, Yeah, a lot
of kids are not good friends in middle school and
they will get left behind because you know what, I
could barely name a friend of hers right now that
I would consider a very good friend. And that's the
hard part.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
Now.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
I agree with that in that sense, and that's what
I've told Emmy, like, sorry, at the end of.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
This day, you're so like I feel you're heaving us.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, yeah, I'm very heavy about it.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
I'm gonna have talked to a friend that we just
very much disagree and we've gone back and forth all
day about it. It's just I agree with you, and
I would hope that would be the case. But even
speaking to these mothers, it's like, yeah, that's just how
they are. Sorry, they're not good friends, you know, And
it's just like you get nowhere. You'd literally get nowhere
because I'm a person that addresses it, especially if we're close,

(22:55):
like if Ramsey was being mean to your kid, like
I'm going to talk to you about it, like I
love you, let's figure this out. And I'm just learning
that I'm just kind of on an island over here
by myself.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
I'm just like, okay, well, I do think one thing
I always love and admire about you is you're not.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
Afraid to take the hard route, yeah, or take it away.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
You've you know what I mean, Like you've so like
what they're this will come across judgmental, but it's it
to me, it's the harder thing. What you're doing is
the harder It's definitely the harder thing. So it's like
for them to have to step in or step up
or to do something differently. I mean on a way, way, way,
way lesser level. It's the iPad for the younger kids

(23:36):
kind of saga, you know, where it's like people get
dependent and it's like, oh, I enjoy my breaks or whatever,
or that you just they don't want to make their
kids mad or shut down or whatever. And I just
admire that you're sticking to it because I think it's
really important. Well, they still have social media.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
So I can't give myself too much credit because if
I were truly, truly, truly, i'd probably take it all away.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
But I am. I haven't done that. If you could
do it differently now, knowing our ages of kids, would
you do it different.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah, I wouldn't have given it to him in the well,
I say that I wouldn't have. I would have loved
to have a group of people and a group of
her friends all decide together, we're not giving them social media.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
That's what I would have done. Differently.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
I would have gone to these people and I would say,
let's make a pact. They're all good friends. Let's get
them texting and outside. They still do that, and they
still meet up and they still go outside. And I
know a lot of kids are not. But that's what
I would have done differently, and that's what I encourage
you guys to really do and have those people and
so then they don't feel so alone, because it does
feel lonely.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
So Jolie's asked me about Cover Star. I was just
going to ask I couldn't remember the name of it.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well, Ramsey learned it from harl Harlow.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
Yeah, So Pam and I have had conversations about, you know,
when we'll do cell phones, and you know, we've kind
of touched on social media and I'm very much like
no for as long as I can hold out as long,
you know, and we got a Now I have hearing
this conversation, I want to tighten it up more with
her and I'll maybe include two of the other girls

(25:05):
around neighborhood, just to see if the moms are on
the same path.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
Jolie's asked about Cover Star for a long time. It
was probably last summer she talked about it because her
and Harlow were doing it on on Harlow's iPad. So
the kids don't do iPads anymore. They rarely watch TV anymore.
And the she's she's, I mean, she keeps just asking me.
And so she was home the other day from school
because she had a cough and this school nurse call.

(25:30):
She's like, just got a cough and I'm like okay
and one fever. She's like, well she doesn't have a fever.
And I was like, okay, great, great check waiting, thanks
for Colin.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Right, and yeah, I had to go pick her up.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
So so I picked her up, and you know, she
asked again and she's like, mom, She's like, we were
at Harlow's birthday and we were doing Cover Star?

Speaker 3 (25:56):
Can I please have Cover Stars?

Speaker 4 (25:58):
And again I was like, I don't even know what
this is, right, So I looked into it and it
looks like a kid's version of TikTok, very parental controlled,
the no bullying, the no you know there was a
parent even had to have a video saying I am
fine with having my kid have it. So I downloaded
it on my phone to obviously see it.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
The app.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
I created an account for them because I'm like, you
know what, they can use my phone for twenty minutes
a day, thirty minutes a day, and they they can
have fun with it because they love doing videos on
the monitor phone, like they'll they'll create these little videos
and they pretend they're talking to a YouTube channel, which
I'm not uploading. But that's fine. That's their way of
being created for thirty minutes whatever, go for it. But

(26:42):
my issue with it was is they posted like four
or five videos and Jace primarily wasn't even Jolie, but
he's like, we only have one fan, and I'm like,
and it's a way goodbye, like we're not. I was like,
it doesn't matter if I'm like, oh, he is a
six year old and he's worried about how many stars

(27:04):
they got, like they got ten stars on one and
then they've got one, you know. And I'm like, I
know how algorithms affect me when it changes, not so
much anymore. The only reason affects me now is when
algorithm views change is because Instagram's in my livelihood of
how I support my family primarily, so it's it's kind
of get weighs on me when it's not. You know,

(27:25):
algorithms aren't great, but for kids, I've I've seen how
depressed kids can get because if they don't get enough likes,
if they don't get and I'm just like, so I
just took it away again. I'm like, no, this was
a nice trial run. I don't like it, and you
just don't need to be upset. It doesn't matter how
many fans you I'm like, your fans are all in
the house right here, and we love you so much.
Doesn't matter who else is herding and liking your stuff.

(27:48):
It does if this is helpful, they might like this.
I don't know if y'all do this, but we do
screen mirroring to our living room TV. So I let
them record and then we screen mirror we all watch
it on the big TV. That's fun, and that's kind
of like fun for them. Does love dou Clever Star? No? Yeah, well,
but also and only because I just she has only
one friend that does it. And I actually super trust

(28:11):
and love this mom. So I've like been able to
like ask, but this this particular family, like their whole
livelihood is Instagram TikTok, so they're very in that world,
very savvy.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
But she tried it.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
And she was like, I you know, I tried this
with my friend and I liked it, and I was
like yeah, and she can we get it? So then
she's got legend on the like, can we get it.
They asked a few times, and I just said, you
know what, you can't right now. There's just a lot
more things we have to do right now than that.
And I said, I still love when Legend creates on
Garage Band and you guys make the videos they do
this series out back, this nature series that they've done

(28:54):
that's hysterical, and I'm like, record more of those. We
can get an editing program and maybe I'll do that
and then can play it on the big screen. Yeah
that sounds I mean right now, they're just young.

Speaker 4 (29:04):
You guys are still and again watching adolescents and then
seeing what actual comments. You know, I don't know what
emojis mean. I'm not in that guys.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
For the longest time, I thought this guy had a
big nose and I couldn't figure out what I think
this is praying. So I need too and it's a
high five, right. I don't know what are you saying about.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Ramsey was gonna say she I think she's still she
has it, but we went through and here's the thing,
she lost all interest in it because any account my
kids have have to be private, so you really can't
get a lot of fans. You can't get a lot
of likes, which really pisses them off at first, honestly, like,
you know, Emmy really wants a public one and I'm like, sorry,

(29:42):
you know. But so with Ramsey when she did it,
I was like, do you know this person? Nope, nope, nope, nope.
So it's like you can only have the people you know,
So she lost interest in it, ye because she's like,
what's the point I'm like doing this first.

Speaker 4 (29:52):
These kids wanting this, that's why they do it. The attention,
not the attention, but they they want the likes. The
likes makes them feel like but again that's.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
How and guys, I don't have the balance down, like
even the girls in her you know, we do a
homeschool co op two days a week, but there's some
girls that are on their iPads way more often than them,
so they're group chatting all the time. So then when
Love goes to school, she's like, well, they talked about
this or they talked about that, And I'm like, I
don't know what the balance is.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
And that's where it's really hard because I okay, so
I had posted those I don't know if y'all saw
I post on my social media, and I took a
poll about who lets.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Their teenagers have.

Speaker 1 (30:29):
You know, I have talked to so many people this
weekend after posting that, and so many people that are like,
it's such a balance. I would love for them to
not have it at all, but they truly do get
left out. So I do think you have to be
prepared for that. Well, it's also their world, yeah, I
mean like it.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
It's about knowing your world enough so that you don't
get derailed when you.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Don't get access take exactly. And I actually had a
conversation with my pediatrician about this. He was like, you know,
at some point, I do believe they need to be
introduced to it. So if they make some mistakes, they're
under your roof and you can help them with their mistakes.
If you wait till eighteen and they go to college,
they're going to learn the hard way and they don't
have you to help blah blah blah blah. So I

(31:10):
do agree with that to an extent. It's how do
you find the balance. How do you make sure they're
still included, because I think that depression and anxiety and
all that can also come from not being included and
not knowing what's going on, so it's hard.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Side note.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
Just want to have one little tippit when we're talking
about Yes, we love the fact that mental health, we
talk about it more. Having said that totally, one of
the songs that she's been singing is a song called Anxiety,
My Anxiety, And I'm just like, I'm saying all that,
and Alan's just like, I don't think this would be
actually good. I was like, no, I'm actually agreeing with
you because I think it's I think it's good to

(31:44):
be aware about anxiety obviously, and we help her through
and we talk about these things, but we're also drawing
a lot of attention to it too, we really are.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
And I mean she's just like, my anxiety, my anxiety.
I'm just like, what I would love.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
I haven't seen Amy in a while. I would love
to go in and like talk to Amy and be like, let's.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Get her on the shows.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
I will do that because I have to do it.
Three part.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I think there's a part of the normalcy of
it that is making people go, oh, not that it's cool,
but is it cool?

Speaker 3 (32:18):
There's a tension. Yeah, kids like attention and you guys,
I got a whine. Oh tell me.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
Oh man, I feel like I just whined for like
twenty minutes.

Speaker 3 (32:27):
No, you're good, girl, You're good. And I like the ketchup.
I like it when Janna catch up with kick Cats.
So I don't like my car.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
I know, okay, are we still driving?

Speaker 3 (32:51):
I just got really nervous about like some sort of
sponsorship that was my I went to managerial mode.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
Did you see it?

Speaker 3 (32:55):
I was like, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
I lost my Chevy deal years ago, so I was
trying to get Hyundai deal.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
Oh yeah, but that didn't come through. That's all right though.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
So I loved my my Wrangler that I had, so oh,
I've loved my Range Drover. But then my lease was up,
and so I didn't love the new body shape that
came out. So I'm like, I'm gonna save some money here,
let's get into a Wrangler. I love a Wrangler.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
Well, you know, then I meet Alan and you know,
he's like kind of made a few comments about the car.
But then I got pregnant. I'm like, all right, there's
no way I'm going to be able to fit because
those back seats of those Wranglers are so tiny, right, yeah,
So I got into and I had to. But I
so I had to get out of my because I'm
a lease girl. I don't care what anyone says. I
love leasing. I'm going to continue to lease. I like

(33:41):
to change it up every three years. Having said that,
I had to stay in my lease. This is the
negative part of it. And I needed to get a
three a three rower and I didn't want the big boat.
I thought about maybe getting the grand Wagon ear but
I was like, I really don't want to drive. I
don't want to drive them, mom car, I really don't
like but I will. But I just felt like kind

(34:04):
of big at the moment. And then it was a
little too expensive. So I got into my Jeep Cherokee. Again.
I'm just not a fan of it. I don't like it.
And so there's my wine. My My next topic is
we drove a mini van in West Virginia. Oh they're glorious,
they are.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
And I gotta tell you, I loved it. I loved it.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
I told Alan and I said, Babe, I'm not kidding you.
Driving this is better than driving my Jeep Cherokee. Oh
It's it's incredible.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
And Jace is like, Mommy, can we get this car
when we get home, and I'm like, actually, honey, I'm
really thinking about it because it's.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
So like that it opens. It's just my girlfriends has
a vacuum inside of it. She's vacuuming up cheerios with
the vacuum. Dream Like I gotta say, I'm like, mama's
that drive minivans that listen to this, let me know
your favorite one, because Pacifica that's a good one. I had.

(35:00):
So when my old old job, I had to drive
bands around sometimes when I was on the record label side,
and I always got minivans because you can't have grown
men crawling in over each other. And so I drove
Eli Youngban one time in a Pacifica and it fit
all of my big dudes in there, and it's it
just floats, and it's so it's made nice. It is

(35:20):
made for moms. It's intuitive. Every you're like, gosh, I
think I would describe my drink right. Oh, my drink
is right there. There's like coolers involved in vacuums.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
And there's a lot of space in the band.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
I care about us a lot.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
So I guess would you guys judge me?

Speaker 4 (35:35):
Because I feel like for some I don't know why,
But why do we judge people that drive minivans.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
I don't judge people that drive many vans.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
I think.

Speaker 3 (35:44):
I don't know if I do.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
It's like I.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Just think my mom because even my even my neighbor
made a comment to me, he goes, oh, you got
yourself a little a mom car, and I'm like that
hurt my heart a little bit. I know, I know,
but it's you know, why do people use that as
a negative? Yeah? Right, right, were right? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
I want to tell you what you got too?

Speaker 3 (36:06):
Mini vans sitting in your driveway, buddy, So I'm like,
I will tell you what.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
No, you also have.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
The you will hear from the moms that drive minivans
and they'll be like, I got over that real quick.
I guarantee it, because they love their minivans so much.

Speaker 4 (36:18):
I just feel like they get a bad name they
and we judge them because it's like the soccer and minivans.
Like I don't know, I guess I've always looked at
them bad until I drove one, and now I'm obsessed magical.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
I mean, I don't like the way they look, and
I wouldn't choose one, but I'm judging people for doing it.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
So agree the shape I don't like. I don't like
the shape, but I don't like the way they look. Yeah,
so my insides are great, they work great. My tiny
town like farm town self has to be up.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
Yeah, so that's why I can't do it.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
They're too low to the ground for me like I
need to be. If they could lift, they could lift
a minivan. They think I'm in.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
I mean, I still say the most, but especially if
you feel like those SUVs are too big you would
love You're not.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Going to get a minivan though, I don't know. I
kind of see it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
I can remember working at the management company having kids,
thinking about it for like half a second, and I'm like,
what am I going to do? Show up and pick
up my artist in my minivan? I was like no, yeah,
and then I didn't judge it. I'm afraid I would
be judged for showing up.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
My point right there, No the minute showing up so
I did. The minute the door opens on its own
and there's a cooler installed. People forget what they're even in.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
I can't wait.

Speaker 3 (37:37):
A minivan sponsorship for all three of us. No, well, yeah, sure, guy,
They got we got covers on our ship. Are you
all a free car?

Speaker 2 (37:53):
That's thing?

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Absolutely, that's true. You will drive any free car given
I would.

Speaker 2 (37:59):
I'm so cheap to that.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Like I love a free car, and I mean no,
granted I got lucky with a Chevy one because it
was a Camaro, and then my Taho, which I loved.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
But like, if someone was like.

Speaker 4 (38:10):
Here's a free car, or pay for this car, I'm
going to pick a free car.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
And no matter if it's an if it's really you
got a camera, well you really a family? If I
mean a minivan is ugly? Oh true, you know what
I'm saying, no offense, mini bad moms.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
True they are, but they're not like I was. I
love a good boxy Like, give me like a defender.
I love that, I love I love those Terassic Really,
she just.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Wants a free defender. If anyone can give her that, please.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
That's never happening.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
Having But I'm saying, hey, someone said you're going to
pay sixteen hundred dollars a month for a defender with
fifteen to sixteen hundred dollars a month or a free minivan,
I will pick there. And you know me, I will
pick the free car. I will pick the free minivan.
Somebody send me a free mini you know what, someone
you're gonna go.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
It was free totally, so they don't.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
You No, Oh rock license plate is Can we please
put this out into the universe. Yeah, and then I
think we should do a podcast from the minivan.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
That's hilarious.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
Okay, So we've got some headlines this week, one of
which I'm really excited about. You guys, one of my
favorite rom coms. Oh same, I mean, I think it.
I think it stands the test of a how to
Lose a Guy in ten Days time. I do too,
which it has been how to Lose a Guy in
ten Days.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
I'll tell you it's so good. Is hands down my favorite,
one of my very favorite romantic comedies, and there has
not been one that has touched it since anyone but you.
I think that movie. Have you seen it? I don't
think so. Oh, I've seen it thirteen million times, I believe.

(39:55):
I mean because the same thing Hallos on ten Days.
I've seen it probably thousands of times.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Thousands. I don't want any hues.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
Oh, but a goodie like a sex and the City
number one all the time, like on an Airplane devil
worse product seeing that a million times, but Anyone but
You is hands down equals I think, just as good
as How to Lose Guy in Ten Days Sidney Sweeney, which,
by the way, I have watched White Lotus didn't know
she was in the first one obviously, so that's the

(40:25):
only thing I really saw her in was Anyone but You.
So there was rumors that they might have hooked up
during filming, her and Glenn Powell, who I just think
is an absolute doll. He's adorable, so cute, great actor,
and I'm like, whatever, who you know, rumors, schmumers the
whole thing, And now they're apparently you know, so she

(40:45):
broke off her engagement to her guy, which is so sad,
but also like, yay, you didn't, you know, don't marry
the wrong one.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
We know how that ends up. But apparently they uh
were just photographed together at a Texas restaurant at the
same time, des Mois reported on its Instagram March twentieth,
and I just got so excited. So their families got close,
is my understanding, or she got close with his family.
I think they're super great, sweet friends that may or

(41:16):
may not have hooked up.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
Who cares?

Speaker 4 (41:18):
But I love them together, whether they're friends together.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Well, she just went to his sister's wedding exactly, so
cute and that's so on brand for yeah, like the movie,
Like I was like, of course she went to the wedding,
so good. This is so perfect, like they're living in
real time the movie and I'm here for it, which
I love. Kind of thing. I do.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
You are clearly big fans? Yeah, huge, huge, I see that.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
Can I get a free minigan and being greet with
Glenn and Sydney than you can Glenn deliver the minivan
and just tie this up with a bone.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
Why do we care? Okay, timing of all of this totally.
Are we worried that she had an affair?

Speaker 2 (41:53):
They're saying he did.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
I think back in the day, if I recall my
US Weekly scrolling, I believe there was Chad or that
he might have cheated on his girlfriend with her. Again,
I don't want to be starting rumor. I think that's
what the rumor was also US Week.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
But I can see where then others might care if
the timing is sus.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
Sure, but also like if they're great friends and obviously
obviously they have amazing chemistry.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
They're on screen. Chemistry is fantastic. Now whether there was
something sexual between them.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
But was she with her fiance at the time, Yeah, don't,
So we don't care.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
I think people can have really good chemistry without any
sexual energy like affair. I have a co star, we
have great chemistry. Nothing ever happened between us.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
Yeah, no, no, for sure, But like you, truly don't
don't care if there was an affair.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
Well, sure, I mean that's not great for everybody, but
it's not my business, my life.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
I don't want to. I don't like when people meddle
and is that the right word? Yes, yeah, in my stuff.
So I'm like, it's not my business.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Yeah that that that I yes, I didn't get on
board with.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
Yeah, totally objective anywhere people are sworling.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
I think it was the way you said it, like
the way it was kind of I don't care if
they had an affir Who cares, That's not you cut
it off for a minute.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Obviously, I care when people That's That's where I'm going.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
That's where I'm getting it. Dear Regions, don't care.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
Taken a copy of the Good Fight?

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Do care a little? We do care.

Speaker 3 (43:22):
I just don't none of your business, I would say,
if I had to be objective, and just in the
life that I've lived, I'm just tossing out the dearest reader,
the dearest gentle reader. Jenna Kramer cares excepsively if someone
as an affair and if you don't know that, you're
on the wrong effing podcast. I wonder if when you

(43:44):
see chemistry and other people, if that could be a
catalyst to ending an engagement, because if you feel that way,
I'm going to speak from experience, be a little vulnerable here.
In a previous relationship, it was really serious and I
remember meeting someone who I ended up never having a

(44:06):
relationship with other than a friendship. But it was such
a strong, palpable chemistry and connection that I thought there's
no way I could possibly continue on with the person
that I was dating, because if I could feel that
way towards someone, then I couldn't be with the one totally.
And that's what and I have zero idea about I

(44:28):
wish we knew more about all of this. I think
Jana agrees.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
I mean, I would I want people to be had,
but I.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
Just wonder if maybe that, like if you're filming something
and you meet this person and it's not even that
they had to have an affair, but maybe she just
felt was like, you know what, shouldn't feel like that?

Speaker 4 (44:44):
Yeah, that's a really good point. I also think it's
I'm going to speak for the other people that are
not Sydney, England, when you see your partners having such
good banter and chemistry that then creates doubt insecurity questions
that then affects the relationship as a whole. So maybe
that also, whether there was or wasn't, I'm.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
Sure there.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
It would be hard for anyone to see the connection
they have and not go is there something there? For sure? Yeah? Yeah,
like I was disappointed she was engaged after.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
That for them, I love well. I mean I wanted Kate.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
And Matthew McConaughey to be together, of course, same we
all did. Yeah yeah, Whitney and you know our dude,
you're new chemic costume. You know. I'm just saying, like,
I think I know me want to cry. I still
think about the funeral when he cries. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Yeah, that's the only movie I can watch.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
Can we get a us? Are we all pre Oh?
I don't know, I think it's me again. I'm day three. Wow,
I keep going so early. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
My sister in law texted me and said, Perry menopause
because I'm so sensitive and just crying all the time.
But I just think I'm sensitive.

Speaker 3 (46:12):
Nicki Glazer is coming into town, which I'm going to
see her show, and there's a headline right now saying
she goes. I wish I didn't feel this way. She
explained her sexual fetish for her boyfriend's sleeping with other women.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:27):
So she basically said, there's been a couple of times
years ago that Chris is hooked up with other people.
Nicki said she's totally fine with it, so long as
the other women knows it's nothing more than sex. I
think girls sometimes can be convinced that he's going to
leave her for me. It's like, no, that's not going
to happen. So just know that this is it. She
was talking with Gwyneth Paltrow. So basically, kind of her
sexual fetish is that being with him, being with other

(46:49):
people is what I'm Yeah, Chris, the idea of Chris
with other women is a sexual fetish. So I mean,
you know, like we just talkedalked about. I would not
be okay with that.

Speaker 2 (47:01):
Girls.

Speaker 5 (47:03):
You guys, can you imagine, well what happens when it's
not just sexual anymore? Even if that's just your sexual
fetish and you're fine with it, Like at some point
someone's going to get feelings.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
For also, Like what is is there anything sacred anyway?

Speaker 2 (47:17):
I know?

Speaker 3 (47:17):
Like can we just then just maybe don't? I don't
what is wrong with me? Am I getting to be
an old lady? I am starting to feel that way.
It's like I want to start my sentences with back
in my day. But I'm starting to get there where
I'm like, like, can we just not have one sexual
partner and move on? Yeah? Like what's hot about him?
Or I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna spin

(47:38):
it pr wise? Is this what she says so that
when he's out doing what he's doing it doesn't look
a certain way on her? Maybe she is.

Speaker 4 (47:50):
She's to me, I just seems always very confident and
I could see it not bothering her. It would just
really bother me obviously.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
As you know, I wasn't comfortable with the twenty plus
women that my ex husbands slept with but I you know,
I just couldn't. You know, I couldn't do that. I
just I definitely couldn't. I just I'm what I want
to I guess I want to go what is it
about that that is a fetish? Like? What does that

(48:27):
do for her?

Speaker 4 (48:28):
I think it's something that's intriguing, Right, So if I
think back to I'm going to go back since I'm
on White Lotus train right now.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
White Lotus season.

Speaker 4 (48:34):
Two, that couple they obviously slept with other people, but
it was like a don't tell I know, but don't
tell me. And there's almost something sexy about the fact
that they had sex with other people.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
But that it was so it like it almost spiced
up their marriage until it misses it all up.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
Well, that's what I That's what I always think is
the end is it's not gonna to me. I've never
heard of a situation where people have an open marriage
and it works great. And I know, personally, I just
couldn't handle that because I don't want I don't want
my I want to be treated differently where I know

(49:17):
my husband just has eyes for me and love for me.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
I don't know she's saying it's not love. It's just sex.
But I still I couldn't. I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I just think, And this is not me being judgmental.
I don't want it to come across that way, but I
just think that's not what sex and love was created for.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
It wasn't.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
That's not the way that it should be used. And
I will stand up for that all day long.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
And listen, I will also say out loud, have I
always been? Have I been a saint? No? No, no, no, no.
Eastern Michigan girls listen to this too often to know me,
and listen, I just to me, there's a deeper something there,
or there's a disconnect there, and so saying this makes
her feel frames it in a way that feels I

(50:01):
don't know something. And I know people have all sorts
of different fetishes and things that I just am like,
he's been with a lot of people. Maybe he hasn't,
but he's been with people before her, and that's mystery enough.
So when you get to me, well.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
When she said something about how she likes that other
people want him and that's sexy to him, Like, why
can not just sexy enough for you to want him?

Speaker 2 (50:26):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (50:27):
I just think there is probably something deeper there, but
that's for for them to.

Speaker 3 (50:32):
Yeah, I mean, I don't, I mean I don't know.
I mean with with my ex situation, obviously, I took
him back all those times, but I always told Alan,
if you were ever with anyone, I can't I can't
be in that relationship. I would never I gave my
ex grace. I can't give you grace. There's no way

(50:55):
that's right that I can give you grace. Sorry, my
grace ran up with that now and then you made
a promise to you you would. But I just well,
and here for me, I know what happens to me.
But hey, if this is something Nikki like, it doesn't
affect her that way, and that's how they keep their
relationship alive. Awesome.

Speaker 4 (51:13):
I just fear for what happens in the end. I
just I just wonderers turned more than sex.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, and she's a comedian, so I wonder
if there's just something there's there's a comedic piece in
here too, of like attention and being far out and
being like there's something to that personality type that plays
into this too, and I haven't figured that out. Yeah,
like a piece of me wants to be like, you know,

(51:40):
you're worth it to not have someone that's But also
it's like maybe she doesn't need that. Maybe like that's
not my place to say that because she's no, she
knows she is, and like whatever that's her thing. Hey cool, Yeah,
you know, I just wonder if you sat her down
in a couch on a couch and just really dug in,
would that be the truth? I don't know. That's what
I sometimes wonder.

Speaker 4 (51:57):
Well, I really like her a side note, like I
think she's great, Yeah, I think she's incredible.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Show. I also think she's really independent. So maybe it
feels good just to be like, yeah, he does that
and I do this, and he'll never be too attached
because he's got this and he's distracted. And I don't
know if, like a lot of times, people that are
in the open marriages from what I've seen, don't want
kids too mm hmm. And so maybe that's a different
art it piece of it or something where it's just

(52:26):
you're not trying to settle down, I guess, or I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
We had some friends. I don't know, we had some
friends that.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
You know, they got into the whole like swinger situation,
and then it went south because you know, you can
be swinging with other people, but when then they go
elsewhere you know, to in the situation, go and have,
then it's not okay, and it just it ruins relationships.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
You know, boundaries will get broken. I feel like in
those situations, yeah, it always becomes more well because boundaries
are already a question because it is the situation, right,
Like it'll always be it's it's more and then more women. Yeah,
that's the thing.

Speaker 4 (53:04):
It's like his my ex's first affair. He thought it
would just be that, but no, you get rid of
done with that person and then you start wanting other people.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Well this may be controversial to say, but fetish is
in general, I think also can kind of okay, here's
this fetish. Okay, well I've done that. Well what's what's next?

Speaker 3 (53:22):
Fetis Nothing extra turns you on, not necessarily, no, but
I just I think that it's like if you and
I'm not saying that and like the in a negative way,
but I feel like, Okay, well that's cool, we've done that.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Now we got to do this, and now it needs
to be this, and now it needs to be more.
I just feel like that's what my fear would be
in this situation. He would need more, I would need more,
you know whatever.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Right.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
I also might not be the right person to even
discuss this situation because I just go straight to my
own trauma with it all, you know, I just.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
Go super like, Yeah, I'm like, I conserve it. I
just want I just want someone just for me. That's
why I got married.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
That's what I mean when I go conservative, like, I
just I want to get married and have.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Some people don't have that mindset, no one for sure,
And that's like, okay, great, But I will say back
to her things she says she doesn't she wished she
didn't feel this way.

Speaker 4 (54:16):
So there is a piece then in there there's something.
I'd say, there's maybe something there. Yeah, but and it's
okay if that someone wants it that way too.

Speaker 3 (54:23):
Yeah, none of this is it's it's whatever, and you want.
I just I do wish when those things were sacred
things more often than they are, And even in my
own life, I wish I would have treated it that
way more.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
Same one thousand percent. I think that's where my twenty is.
La Jana Same.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
I posted this picture from Rode roles Jana, Oh was
it you that were doing? I was like, I'm glad
we didn't live in LA. At the same time, I
was like, oh, sister, where would we even be?

Speaker 4 (54:58):
But that again, my La days was I was a
lost girl trying to find love and a daddy's love
that I never got, you know, trying to have a
man tell me that I'm good enough, and it's like,
you know, next, next, next, trying to find it, so
sure took a while to find it.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Here we go, hi, ladies.

Speaker 3 (55:20):
My biggest pet peeve with my husband is that he
is always texting his guy friends in group chats. He
is in so many group chats and his phone is
constantly going off. We have been together for ten years
and the constant texting has always bothered me. Somewhere through
the years, I made it a rule that we couldn't
bring our phones to the dinner table because he'd be
texting all the time and I felt like I was

(55:40):
always eating by myself. He would even text through dinner
while we were on a date. I've brought it up
many times before and he gets defensive and then says
I am the same way, which is not true at all.
The dinner rule held up for a while, but somewhere
along the way he brought the phone back to the
dinner table. Now we have kids, and I hate them
seeing him sitting on his phone while we have dinner.
I am always reminding him to put it down. I

(56:02):
feel lost on what to do. Do any of your
husbands do this? What else can I do to encourage
him to put the phone away during family time? Thanks?
Love the podcast. Hey girl, Hey girl, Hey girl, I
want you to quickly look up the definition of gas lighting,
because I'm pretty sure that's what Homie did to you
when he told you that you're on your phone too.

Speaker 4 (56:19):
That was my biggest annoyance with that email was because
I'm like, I cannot of course he said that back
to yeah, of course, of course we're on our phone.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Devil's advocate of what is when she really is? What
if she is?

Speaker 3 (56:34):
But not during dinner time?

Speaker 1 (56:36):
But I think that's what he's saying, You are not
during dinner, Okay, not during dinner.

Speaker 4 (56:41):
That doesn't okay. I brought it up many times before
he gets defenses. Is I'm the same way? Which is
not true at all? Which is I agree with her
her saying, which is not true at all. I don't
believe that girl is bringing her phone.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
I'm not if she's making it no when bother her.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
She's because I am the biggest No phone's the table. Yeah,
I don't like it. It's the number one rule. The
kids know it.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
Anytime Alan takes it out of his pocket, Jolie is
instantly getting up and she's.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
Like, Alan, no phones at that table. And I'm like,
good girl, love that. Like, here's my one piece of advice.
Put a basket by the dinner table somewhere. So it's
if you have like a what's those credenzas buffet table,
get a little cute little basket and that is where
phones go, yours included, and phones go in that basket

(57:31):
for dinner table. That's step number one. Yeah, and then
I'm gonna gather more thoughts for the rest well.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
And then you're also teaching as your kids get older
and they have phones, you're teaching. By the time you
get to the point where your kids have phones and
you're they're that old, they're going to know to put
that it's not They're not going to think twice. Had
I started that a long time ago? Which if we
tell our kids to put them down at dinner. They will,
it's not a problem, but like they would just not
think twice about it, just be like they go in
the basket. That would have been great had I done

(57:56):
that years ago. We don't really have an issue with it.
We hardly ever sit down to dinner together. We have
but really at the table with your husband.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
Oh yeah, Like it drives me crazy. It drives me
crazy how much he's on it anyways, but we are
running a record label sure from our home wherever he
is he is, you know, Yeah, he's doing a million
things all the time. Dinner is just the one part

(58:27):
where I'm like, that just has to stop. And but
I will say this, I think it's been less obvious
to me lately just because he's been gone so much.
But when he I feel like we're not eating, Like
we're in that toddler phase right now, where like I
think the sitting down all the five of us in
maybe last three minutes, you know, that phase is crazy.
But I really like I can't stand phones at the

(58:51):
table at all. I'm also just like there is very
few moments where the five of us just get to
be the five of us. I just need those to
be so sacred, even if it's one hundred and twenty seconds. Yeah,
so yeah, I agree, it's really like to ask good idea.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
I think we might do that again. We cannot have
sit down dinners very often, so when we do, we
try to make sure our phones are away anyways. But
I like that I might try that.

Speaker 3 (59:17):
So I think there's that. But I also I'm sure
she's communicated it, but in a way where we how
us girls can sometimes communicate like do you really have
to pick up the phone again, or some kind of
like passive. I know I've done that before, but just
being when he's not on his phone, maybe do a
check in with him and just be you know, just
be like, hey, it's starting to really bother me. I

(59:39):
love that you have awesome friends that you chat with.
I think that's so great, Like so kind of praise
the fact that he's got like, that's so cool that
he's got great friendships and relationships. You know, we we're
texting all the time on our messages, So just being like,
I love that you have got some great friends, but
can you just be more mindful of situations.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
This is regardless of dinner table. Ask it that's a
done deal. But when we're on a date or when
you know the kids are trying to talk to you,
just to be more mindful that they're going to see you,
their memory of you is going to constantly be on
the phone. Like I remember when my dad the computers,
you know, Dad, I'd be like hey Dad, I wouldn't
get an answer till like five minutes later because he

(01:00:19):
was always just so glued onto his computer. Like that's
what I remember. Our kids are going to know that
because of our cell phones. So I just think to
maybe communicate it when he's not on his phone and
do it from a more vulnerable piece and then say
that you love for the friendships, but that it makes
you feel X, Y and z why you don't like it?

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
That's what I was going to say, just the piece
of like it makes me feel sad or not seen
or whatever, because my probably I think that would be
more frustrating to him. Also, if you've ever looked at
your daily activity, it's a pretty rude awakening. Yes, it
is so like the screen time that the iPhone pulls
up for you is really that'll make you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Feel And I bet it would feel different the fact
that it's a you know guy, agree, like he's not
working on his phone, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
What I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
So I do think that that does feel a little different,
you know, like you know, if Nick is working on
his phone, he's working on a contract or something. Okay,
that feels a little different versus a he's still gonna
keep talking to which I've talked to my friends way
more than he does.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
But that would feel a little different.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
But maybe, like you said, not make it about that, though, right,
Make it about putting it down more and being more present.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:25):
I remember my ex he would say please, he would
he didn't like the fact that I'd get on my
phone when we got in the car because.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
He felt like I remember that. I was just.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
Not that he felt like my chauffeur or something. But
he is just like I feel. I think that's how
he felt. Was just you know, he was driving and
I would always go straight on my phone. So it's
weird that it's not transferred into this with Alan where
I'm I said the other day, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry,
He's like for what I was like, Oh, I've just
been on my phone this drive, but I was just texting,

(01:01:57):
you know, X Y and z Or bonding back to
an emails like I don't care and I was like,
oh well, and so then I told him the story.
I was like, well, my ex didn't like that, and
so I've tried to be more mindful with you in
the car because I did realize I was like that
did kind of feel maybe a little rude that I
was always on my phone while he was driving.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
So like said that to me before, which was like,
when I'm driving, you're like, oh, I'm just going to
do this real fast on my phone or like, oh,
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
I was because I.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Don't want you to feel like you're just like my driver.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Yeah, and I wouldn't think twice about it, but I
remember you saying that one day and I was like,
it's fine. But then, you know, I do remember you
saying that about Mike. But I see that with my kids,
Like when they're in the car, I'm like, hey, can
you put your phone down and let's talk right, you know,
instead of like you just being on your phone while
I drive.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Guys, they're just so consuming the phones. I think that's
what's hard.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
They consume me. I mean, I'll be the first to
admit it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
Concerned I'm not going to be able to tell you
where I saw this, but I read this study about
phones and parenting, and then they had these illustrations in
this study. I hope I can find it. But it
was like the kid asking a question of parents saying,
like buried in a phone, and I think even the
vision of that or it's just such a life changing
for me. I was like, man, and and guilty is charged.

(01:03:04):
Like I'm trying to I'm trying to do business and
I'm trying to launch this and I'm trying and I'm
not like fully always in and so I've tried to
be better too. I'm gonna put screen time on myself.

Speaker 4 (01:03:16):
Yeah, and everyone, I put a basket out by a table,
and it can even be like you're in your kitchen,
the basket, baskets go there and everyone needs to apply
that's right. Phones go in the basket.

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
Yeah, what if he didn't put it in too, then
that's a deeper conversation. All should go to therapy. I
think that's disrespect would be yeah, that'd be tough, I
think so, Yeah, I think that right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Yeah, I feel like she needs to let us know.
I think she needs to try this and she needs
to let us know.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
How it goes. Yeah, don't forget to Yeah, because I
need to know how this ends, because that would hurt
my feelings if he was like stupid basket.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Right right for sure?

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
I hope that also, like dinner isn't that long, so
if like there might be like an addictive personality piece
of this too where I'm like, why can't we just
put that down for fifteen minutes?

Speaker 4 (01:03:58):
Yeah, right for sure, like your haha roach out whatever
things can just wait for a second.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
Yeah, yeah, but yeah, we love you

Speaker 3 (01:04:06):
Have friends, so fun all right, ladies, until next week,
Bye bye by