April 8, 2025 • 23 mins
Jana is back in Tree Hill and hanging out with Deb herself… Barbara Alyn Woods!
Barbara opens up about the deeply personal reason she started listening to Whine Down, which leads her and Jana to bond over their OTH memories.
Plus, Barbara spills all the tea on her Golden Bachelorette boyfriend and we find out if they’ll be walking down the aisle!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Okay, I'm so excited because we now have Barbara on
and Barbara played Nathan Scott, Nathan Scott's mother deb Yeah,
we never met apparently, which I just don't. I feel
like we did, but I guess we didn't.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
No, I feel like I know you, but we never
I mean, I know we didn't cross paths on the show,
but then you think, like post show, we would have,
but I really don't think we have.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I want to know your least favorite part about working
on the show, and then your best. Start with the least, okay,
and with the best. We're going to go do it,
and then we're going to go I want to know
my personal stuff because I just found out something that
I had no idea about and I'm really excited to
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So, oh my god, Okay, I'm going to deep immediately.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Okay, go worst part.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
So worst part is sort of post show when I
found out all the stuff that happened on the show,
and me being like a maternal figure in my own life.
The fact that I wasn't almost like you don't know immediately,
I didn't know half the stuff I didn't know any
of the stuff that was going on on the show,
and I wish I had been there, and I've I've
(01:13):
already like offered many apologies to my co stars, and
I just wish. I feel like I could have made
a difference because I like being a sounding board. I
have a good ear, and it just broke my heart
when I heard that. You know, obviously things weren't happening
to me because I was like one hundred and thirty
years old according to no But seriously, I was in
(01:37):
that environment. I was so you know, it didn't happen
to me, So I was just oblivious to everything. So
I think that's the worst part of it, because honestly,
I don't have anything bad to say. While I was
on the show. It was such a great experience for me.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Because how old were you when you started the show?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Oh my god, I have no idea. They're like thirty
six maybe the sex Yeah, And it's so funny that
the writers were painting us the parents is like the
old people, and we're like thirty six years old, And
I think I felt old because of that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Well, that's that was one of my questions too, for you,
because I just played a mom in a movie to
oh the f sixteen year old, and I really struggled
with It's.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like, do they see me that old?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, so I've played a mom before, but to littles
to a teenager. But I was like, am I old
enough to have a sixteen year old? And my best
friend Catherine, She's like, well, I have a sixteen year old?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I know.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I was like, I know, but like we're like, but
like you started.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, it's movie mom, It's Hollywood mom. Like it's different.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
But there was something though when I was filming that
and where I was just like I really had it
because I'm like, I've now aged out? Have I officially
aged out of the my thirty you know, mid thirty
year roles? Am I now just always going to be
the mom? And I had a really really hard time
kind of rest and I'm like and I but I
(02:56):
am a mom, Like I'm a mom to three, and
you know, it's so it was just but I think
that the older kid piece of it was that I
struggled with for some reason, I know, because I've always
just thought like, no, I'm the the young door right now,
but I'm not an important I.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Know, the first time that you're not the youngest person
in the room right anymore. Like I'm looking around like, okay,
you know, it's it's a weird feeling. But as long
as you stay young up.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Here, yeah, no, for sure, cliche. That's that's true, and
we grow and that's great that we continue to be
casted in those things.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, and as long as you're hoping that's all that.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Been right, Okay, So yeah, no, I don't beat yourself
up about not for this. I can understand that would
be really tough. But even then, it's he was going
to do. Yeah, I mean I still we had he
I remember he texted me one time and it was
(03:50):
he said, you know, I'm flying you out to New York.
You're going to become a serious regular, like can't wait
to celebrate. Maybe I'll just like maybe I'll come to
your room. And I remember calling my boy at the
time of going, I need you to get to New
York because I don't know what to do. When he like,
he's the he just made me a series of the show,
and so my boyfriend flew to New York for that
(04:11):
to be there and then when he knocked I was
like he showed up I'm sorry, you know, like I didn't,
and then he went to someone else in the guest
So once he knew that I was, you know, not
available for that, he then moved on to someone else.
So when it was you know, it's it's sick.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I'm sorry. I mean, it's just like I honestly wish
I knew and I probably could not have made a difference,
but in my mind I think I could have. I mean,
just to be someone to talk to, just to be
the mother figure to all these girls who didn't have
mothers there in Wilmington, North Carolina, you know, just like,
let's all get together and figure out what to do here.
(04:47):
And when all this came out later, I was in denial.
I couldn't believe it happened because I thought I would
have known.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think the piece that always frustrated me was did
you just hire me because you thought, oh ex or
did you hire me because I was a good actress?
And I think that piece kind of wrestled with me
a little bit because, yeah, you know what, you have
hired me if I was married, I know, you know,
maybe not. There's something, Oh do you want to get
into that?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You know? Sold me two stuff. I can tell you
so many stories. Take your ring off for an audition,
you know, like.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Uh yeah, it's disgusting. But anyway, here are you. How
were you? You were married, you have kids? You were
married for how many years?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Twenty something?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Twenty something years? And then you have how many kids?
Have three kids?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Three girls? They're all actors.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
When did you get divorced six years ago for a reason?
Or was it just like a long time it was
a long time coming. Okay, yeah, it was one of
those were you scared to start over?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Oh my god, can I tell you something?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
So there was. I was just telling the girls. There
was a period of my time in my life, there
was a period of time where I sort of looked
for people who were struggling, Like whether it was watching
a movie, you're watching a TV show, or watching a podcast,
anybody who was struggling.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Just totally come on.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
My entering was accidental that I saw one of your podcasts.
Oh my god, I'm getting goosebumps now, and here I'm
talking to you and you were talking about and you
were just an open book talking about your struggle, what
you were going through with your ex, and it made
I'm sorry, but it made me feel so good, like
(06:28):
misery loves company kind of thing, but you're so beautiful
and young and vibrant, and like, if she's going through it,
it made me feel tiny bit better that I was
going through it. And seriously like that it your misery
made me feel sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
No, I'm sorry, but I mean but I get it though,
But it was a misery.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
It was that you were open about it. And there's
nothing to be ashamed of because you know, these things
happen to everybody, and let's all share the story and
we'll all feel like we're all in the same boat,
you know, like we're not perfect. No, and if anyone
can relate, I have stories to tell. If anyone can
(07:10):
relate and benefit from it makes me feel better.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
What was the piece that did you think that you
would find love again?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Or no? No? And I was okay with that, Like
I really came to terms. And I don't want to
keep saying like it as you get older, but as
you do get older, and I have my girls, They're
my love, they're my relationships, they're my romance, they're my everything.
And I got to a point where I was really
okay with that. Yeah, and you know, I hang out
(07:39):
with their friends. They're my friends. And I don't go
to bars and I don't really go out. I'm a homebody.
And where am I going to meet someone? And I,
you know, my girls sign me up for the dating apps. Ew,
It's just like and then when you least expect it
and it met your person. So cliche, but it happened.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I just found this out. I didn't watch the Golden Bachelor. Yeah,
and so I just found out that you were dating
someone who was on that show. Yeah, so okay, help
me get that timeline.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Okay, was he I want to know the truth or
do you want to know the story? We tell?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I heard her rumor that you slid into his dams.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Well that's the truth.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That's the truth, okay, And that's okay. My husband that
I'm married to now slid into my DMS and he
hates He literally hates it when I say that. He's like,
I respectfully reached out to you politely and wanted to
meet you. I was like, but you slid into my DMS,
like you straight up, So it's like you wanted to
meet That's what it is.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, And why is it a little bit different if
a girl does it to a guy. I'm not sure,
but maybe it makes more.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
How did you see him? To begin with?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So his daughter was on the Bachelor's testing, and so
they went to their hometowns. And this is coincidentally, I
was which.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
The which show? Which which Bachelor? Joey Joey? Okay, I
didn't watch that one.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, shoot, So I was on the couch. This is something.
This is like a tradition. Oh, like a year I
don't know, like a couple of years ago, like the
last season, not the one that's the one before it,
I think. And we've been watching The Bachelor forever, me
and my girls sitting on the couch like what not
to do? Like training. We call it school because I
(09:31):
homeschooled them, Like okay, got in our school. So I
was talking to my youngest about this is you want
a guy that looks at you and smiles and like
welcomes people. And coincidentally, we were watching the show and
this guy in the background, who is the dad, smiled
(09:51):
and I said, That's what I'm talking about right there,
That's what I'm talking about. Kind of forgot about it,
and then they asked him to be on the Golden Bachelor.
And like, oh, there's my boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I was joking, the Golden Bachelor, the last one, the
Golden the Golden Bacherette.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I asked her to be a contestant because I guess
I wasn't the only one who noticed his smile when
he was in the background. And he ends up on
the Golden Bachelorette, and I was joking with my daughters like,
oh my god, my boyfriend's going to be on the show.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
He's oh my god, what play Wait? How long were
you on the show for?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
That's what I'm talking about on the show? And he was.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I didn't watch that one either.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It was a contestant, so he was on until the
very end.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Were you like the final runner up?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
He was, No, there's more So all of a sudden,
we cannot because I slimmed his damns and we connect
and we're talking.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
So angry at you right now.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
And I did not I did not know. This is
the first time I'm talking about this, by the way,
I did not know whether he was still on the
show or not. Like he could have had this girl
in Bachelorette in his closet in the back room. I
had no idea because I refused to talk about the Bachelor, like,
(11:06):
I didn't want that to be the reason we were talking.
And so I would watch the show with this guy
I just connected with. Is he going to kick it?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
He's still on the show. She chose him, He's still
on the show. And then I would get a call
from him like we're talking, and he's.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Wait, you guys were talking at this time already because
you mhow airs later?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Okay, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You DM him then when before he was on the show.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I think I DMed him during when he went to
the final I don't know women tell all something. I
don't know something later Oh, okay, the show. Then he
ends up on the show, got it, And toward the
end of the show, we start dming. We started texting
each other, and so we were full on talking for
(11:51):
a couple months and me not knowing if he was
Literally I didn't tell you. We just didn't. We didn't talk.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
What are you crazy? No, that would have been my
first question, Are you engaged?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
No? I think I knew this a woman. I think
I knew he wasn't changed, and he was home, so
it made sense. But I seriously did not want to
talk about the damn show.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So we just connected, you know, and he doesn't live
in La so we didn't see each other. Otherwise I
may have gotten more specific, but we're just talking, you know.
And then the night he got kicked off, my daughters
were there with me, and we're celebrating.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Like, oh, why did he get kicked off?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Because it was faith that he was going to be
with me?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Right? Is he happy he got kicked off? I'm looking
at him, I'm like, I see, I see I had not.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Is he happy that he got kicked off? So?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Okay, So how long are you guys? I'm dating for how.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Long he's better with? How long? Five months? Five months?
Six months?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
What makes us different than anything else?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh? You know what?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You know? You just don't know how bad you had
it until you have one thousand and I always apologize
to him, like I want to say. When we first met,
I say, you have no baggage, everything's good, you know,
don't worry like and then you're in it and you're
being treated right, and you realize you had baggage, and
(13:18):
you have baggage because.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
What is one of the things that you bring to
the table that isn't the prettiest version of yourself.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
It's hard to just accept kindness.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Now something else, give me something.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Else, something that I bring that's not good.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
That he would be that you really.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
It's just because that's too like Sacraine sweet, this accepting
kindness thing. Oh god, I bring so much. He's just
so accepting of all my horrible things.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But we'd be like, I need to work on this.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
My insecurities just because I became insecure in a relationship
that wasn't perfect. And you meet someone and you wonder
why they love you, because.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Does that insecurity come out in ways of insecurity?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You know, just like insecurity, you know, just tell me.
I know you do, but tell me. I know how
you feel, but just tell me. But he tells me
in so many ways, all the damn time, all the time, and.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Then you realize how it should have been the entire time. Yeah,
I mean, y'all are in love? Do you want to
get married again?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
He's just giving me the eyebright raises. He's just mister
GQ in the corner over there. He's like, I got
a peek in which I would love for him.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Care, can you come here?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I'm on Mark Marketing Mark. He wants his come on,
come on in.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
He would have gone through glam if he had known.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
You know, did they ask you to be the Golden Bachelor?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
It's an application process, the application process.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Would you have done it?
Speaker 5 (15:18):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
No?
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Wow, the show wasn't for me?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, what piece of it was wasn't for you? What
piece wasn't What piece of it that was? Like? What? What?
Why wasn't it what you liked?
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Because I already have something?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Well no, no, I know, but when you were on it?
Speaker 5 (15:41):
I mean I went there.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
For a specific like I was looking for something when
I went there, and for me, I didn't find. Like
the experience for me was fantastic, Like it was the
best thing that could have happened to me at that time. Sure,
because it helped me grow as a person because of
(16:06):
the other men that were there.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
That was for me, like the experience of a lifetime.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
And I don't think it could ever be replicated, you know,
like I could never I don't think that could ever improve,
you know, like I don't think that could be ever
done again.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Have you all mingled the kids together?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
How is that?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
We had Christmas? We all met in Branson, Missouri, all
of our kids and spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends, and
it was wild because all of our kids are about
the same age and so it was I don't know,
possibly the best time I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Like it was.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It was so crazy, games like constant, like just like
drinking games and games.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
And outdoor ping pong, pool like botchy ball like name it.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
We did it as Joey, his son in law to be,
is an ex or maybe current tennis instructor. And there
were racquetball or what is it pickleball?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Course you were there, no, I know it's trending in the.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, and so he was teaching everybody and there's ping
pong and like, oh, it was just like it was heaven.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I feel like there's something to be said about the
relationships you find post divorce when you're older, because not
only have I grown post my divorce, but also I
know my husband, my now husband, has too, and he's
learned how to love me better in this marriage too,
and I know how to love I think if we
would have met even in my thirties, I don't think
(17:48):
I would have treated him the way that I know
a man deserves to be treated, and I think vice
versa so I think there's something to be said. Taking
some of the things that we didn't do perfectly in
our marriage before, whether it was our fault or not. Yeah,
and then bringing you know, the growth into a new
relationship I think is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
So, but I do believe that you've been a great
guy and giving and carrying your whole life. I may
not have been, but you have been. I mean, I
really believe he's been like that forever. And I want
to I have not met his mother yet, and I
just want to hug her and thank her because someone
raised you right, man, like you're a good person.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And you want to get married too. Yeah, I love
this stry to do it right now. I'm actually an
ordained minister. I'm not at all that is that is?
And are you still acting?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
You still do? I wait, you just did a were
you on Lifetime?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I probably?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I feel like I just saw you in something? But yeah,
we need my.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Daughter and something. Now, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Let's do it and not the jealous type.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
No him, Yeah, I think he. I haven't given him
the opportunity.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Okay, because if you ever been with an actress before, No,
because my husband struggles with that piece of it, I.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Think he might like if I like, I'm talking for you.
But and you know what, if he didn't have a
problem with it, I would have a problem with the
fact that he was.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Just going to say. And I love the fact that
he is, like my husband's like you are you know
you're mine and you know you're my girl, and I
don't want you around like that.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
And so if he said, by honey, knowing that you're
going on like.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Some god ever didn't care, and I'm like, you don't care,
like not even a piece of you who is Like
there's a carry.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
Like but there's a little difference between something you've done.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, something you're doing right.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Yeah, Like I mean to see like to watch the
one Tree.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Hill, right you did you see Won Tree Hill before
she slid into your damns? Not at all. But I've
just finished you well, Okay, Alan's got to get a
talking to you because he still will not watch. I
mean I haven't either, but like he you know, but yeah,
but I see what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
But it's different to see it's kind of like, you know,
like a relationship.
Speaker 6 (20:03):
I would imagine that she's had relationships before we met,
you know, it's just that you don't see it right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I would recommend not going to a set when she
does have to have a kissing scene because it's just
not comfortable for anyone.
Speaker 6 (20:16):
Yeah, yeah, I mean and that part I don't know.
I mean, you know, it's I've never experienced that sure, right,
So I mean as a career, right, I would.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
Never say you can't yeah, right, but I would need
I don't know. I don't like when that time.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Comes, right, Guys that haven't you know, And I get
that just does have.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
A hard time with that for her if I were
to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Well, yes and no, because it's like if we've dated
actors before, because that's what I always tell my husband.
I'm like, but I've dated actors. It's not a big
deal because we know that it's not anything. It's just yeah,
literally nothing. It's not it's not sexy, it's not intimate.
The I always believe the intimate stuff happens in the
trailer when it's when the yell cut. That's that's when
(21:07):
you have to be careful crossing lines and all that stuff.
So really, on camera, it's just there's so many people watching.
It's not a sexy thing. And that's what I always
try to tell my husband because it's like, it's not
what you think it is. I have zero feelings for
this person. I have zero butterfliester like nothing like, it's
it's all mechanical. Yeah, but you know, I always say,
(21:27):
he's like, well, you wouldn't like it if I did.
I'm like, you're not an actor, so you haven't done
it a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I really wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So yeah, not an actor. So I'm like, you know,
he's like, well, maybe I'll do it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
Like this is like that you're not an actress. I
don't understand that piece of it. But but I also
understand their insecurity. Sure, you know, going to the office
and making out with someone like, I get that. But
we'll see when it happens. But seriously, my d can
(21:52):
issue go get a pint.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So I would be like like, yeah, yeah, yeah, how
is work today, honey, that's okay. Yeah, we'll see, we'll
see how you act if that ever happens.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Well, stay tuned. Yeah, and thank you Mark for joining us.
We appreciate you. Barb Brah'm say so glad we got
to so great. Finally do this, Let's go, Let's go
to Paris and go shopping.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Do that. Yeah, I have a list, I know what
I want to get there.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
And this is just a reminder to the ladies out
there because I cried in my bed too when I
got divorced and I was like, no one will ever
love me. And then you finally meet the person you
love yourself and then you finally meet the person that
how you should have been treated the entire time.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And I do think this is also cliche, but you
do need to like focus on you the time for
every while. You can't just jump into something else, which
is what I've done in the past. So focus on
yourself and you can't lie, like you can't say, Okay,
it's all about me now and then I'll meet somebody.
You just have to be unaware. You have to truly
make it happen. I want a love with yourself.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah. I always wanted to leave knowing that I had
an OP and I realized and that I was like,
all right when I was leaving and I knew I
had no options, and I really that's what I was like,
all right, I have like I am doing this. I
have to do this myself. And figure out how to heal,
and you know, we learn. Yeah, we live and we learn.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, it's all good. It all works out in the end.
It's all good.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
It does all right. Love you, Thank you, Jason, thanks
for coming up.
Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Okay, I'm so excited because we now have Barbara on
and Barbara played Nathan Scott, Nathan Scott's mother deb Yeah,
we never met apparently, which I just don't. I feel
like we did, but I guess we didn't.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
No, I feel like I know you, but we never
I mean, I know we didn't cross paths on the show,
but then you think, like post show, we would have,
but I really don't think we have.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I want to know your least favorite part about working
on the show, and then your best. Start with the least, okay,
and with the best. We're going to go do it,
and then we're going to go I want to know
my personal stuff because I just found out something that
I had no idea about and I'm really excited to
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So, oh my god, Okay, I'm going to deep immediately.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Okay, go worst part.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
So worst part is sort of post show when I
found out all the stuff that happened on the show,
and me being like a maternal figure in my own life.
The fact that I wasn't almost like you don't know immediately,
I didn't know half the stuff I didn't know any
of the stuff that was going on on the show,
and I wish I had been there, and I've I've
(01:13):
already like offered many apologies to my co stars, and
I just wish. I feel like I could have made
a difference because I like being a sounding board. I
have a good ear, and it just broke my heart
when I heard that. You know, obviously things weren't happening
to me because I was like one hundred and thirty
years old according to no But seriously, I was in
(01:37):
that environment. I was so you know, it didn't happen
to me, So I was just oblivious to everything. So
I think that's the worst part of it, because honestly,
I don't have anything bad to say. While I was
on the show. It was such a great experience for me.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Because how old were you when you started the show?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Oh my god, I have no idea. They're like thirty
six maybe the sex Yeah, And it's so funny that
the writers were painting us the parents is like the
old people, and we're like thirty six years old, And
I think I felt old because of that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Well, that's that was one of my questions too, for you,
because I just played a mom in a movie to
oh the f sixteen year old, and I really struggled
with It's.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Like, do they see me that old?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, so I've played a mom before, but to littles
to a teenager. But I was like, am I old
enough to have a sixteen year old? And my best
friend Catherine, She's like, well, I have a sixteen year old?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I know.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I was like, I know, but like we're like, but
like you started.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah, it's movie mom, It's Hollywood mom. Like it's different.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
But there was something though when I was filming that
and where I was just like I really had it
because I'm like, I've now aged out? Have I officially
aged out of the my thirty you know, mid thirty
year roles? Am I now just always going to be
the mom? And I had a really really hard time
kind of rest and I'm like and I but I
(02:56):
am a mom, Like I'm a mom to three, and
you know, it's so it was just but I think
that the older kid piece of it was that I
struggled with for some reason, I know, because I've always
just thought like, no, I'm the the young door right now,
but I'm not an important I.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Know, the first time that you're not the youngest person
in the room right anymore. Like I'm looking around like, okay,
you know, it's it's a weird feeling. But as long
as you stay young up.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Here, yeah, no, for sure, cliche. That's that's true, and
we grow and that's great that we continue to be
casted in those things.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah, and as long as you're hoping that's all that.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Been right, Okay, So yeah, no, I don't beat yourself
up about not for this. I can understand that would
be really tough. But even then, it's he was going
to do. Yeah, I mean I still we had he
I remember he texted me one time and it was
(03:50):
he said, you know, I'm flying you out to New York.
You're going to become a serious regular, like can't wait
to celebrate. Maybe I'll just like maybe I'll come to
your room. And I remember calling my boy at the
time of going, I need you to get to New
York because I don't know what to do. When he like,
he's the he just made me a series of the show,
and so my boyfriend flew to New York for that
(04:11):
to be there and then when he knocked I was
like he showed up I'm sorry, you know, like I didn't,
and then he went to someone else in the guest
So once he knew that I was, you know, not
available for that, he then moved on to someone else.
So when it was you know, it's it's sick.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I'm sorry. I mean, it's just like I honestly wish
I knew and I probably could not have made a difference,
but in my mind I think I could have. I mean,
just to be someone to talk to, just to be
the mother figure to all these girls who didn't have
mothers there in Wilmington, North Carolina, you know, just like,
let's all get together and figure out what to do here.
(04:47):
And when all this came out later, I was in denial.
I couldn't believe it happened because I thought I would
have known.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think the piece that always frustrated me was did
you just hire me because you thought, oh ex or
did you hire me because I was a good actress?
And I think that piece kind of wrestled with me
a little bit because, yeah, you know what, you have
hired me if I was married, I know, you know,
maybe not. There's something, Oh do you want to get
into that?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
You know? Sold me two stuff. I can tell you
so many stories. Take your ring off for an audition,
you know, like.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Uh yeah, it's disgusting. But anyway, here are you. How
were you? You were married, you have kids? You were
married for how many years?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Twenty something?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Twenty something years? And then you have how many kids?
Have three kids?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Three girls? They're all actors.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
When did you get divorced six years ago for a reason?
Or was it just like a long time it was
a long time coming. Okay, yeah, it was one of
those were you scared to start over?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Oh my god, can I tell you something?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
So there was. I was just telling the girls. There
was a period of my time in my life, there
was a period of time where I sort of looked
for people who were struggling, Like whether it was watching
a movie, you're watching a TV show, or watching a podcast,
anybody who was struggling.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Just totally come on.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
My entering was accidental that I saw one of your podcasts.
Oh my god, I'm getting goosebumps now, and here I'm
talking to you and you were talking about and you
were just an open book talking about your struggle, what
you were going through with your ex, and it made
I'm sorry, but it made me feel so good, like
(06:28):
misery loves company kind of thing, but you're so beautiful
and young and vibrant, and like, if she's going through it,
it made me feel tiny bit better that I was
going through it. And seriously like that it your misery
made me feel sorry.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
No, I'm sorry, but I mean but I get it though,
But it was a misery.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
It was that you were open about it. And there's
nothing to be ashamed of because you know, these things
happen to everybody, and let's all share the story and
we'll all feel like we're all in the same boat,
you know, like we're not perfect. No, and if anyone
can relate, I have stories to tell. If anyone can
(07:10):
relate and benefit from it makes me feel better.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
What was the piece that did you think that you
would find love again?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Or no? No? And I was okay with that, Like
I really came to terms. And I don't want to
keep saying like it as you get older, but as
you do get older, and I have my girls, They're
my love, they're my relationships, they're my romance, they're my everything.
And I got to a point where I was really
okay with that. Yeah, and you know, I hang out
(07:39):
with their friends. They're my friends. And I don't go
to bars and I don't really go out. I'm a homebody.
And where am I going to meet someone? And I,
you know, my girls sign me up for the dating apps. Ew,
It's just like and then when you least expect it
and it met your person. So cliche, but it happened.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I just found this out. I didn't watch the Golden Bachelor. Yeah,
and so I just found out that you were dating
someone who was on that show. Yeah, so okay, help
me get that timeline.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Okay, was he I want to know the truth or
do you want to know the story? We tell?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I heard her rumor that you slid into his dams.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Well that's the truth.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That's the truth, okay, And that's okay. My husband that
I'm married to now slid into my DMS and he
hates He literally hates it when I say that. He's like,
I respectfully reached out to you politely and wanted to
meet you. I was like, but you slid into my DMS,
like you straight up, So it's like you wanted to
meet That's what it is.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, And why is it a little bit different if
a girl does it to a guy. I'm not sure,
but maybe it makes more.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
How did you see him? To begin with?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So his daughter was on the Bachelor's testing, and so
they went to their hometowns. And this is coincidentally, I
was which.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
The which show? Which which Bachelor? Joey Joey? Okay, I
didn't watch that one.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, shoot, So I was on the couch. This is something.
This is like a tradition. Oh, like a year I
don't know, like a couple of years ago, like the
last season, not the one that's the one before it,
I think. And we've been watching The Bachelor forever, me
and my girls sitting on the couch like what not
to do? Like training. We call it school because I
(09:31):
homeschooled them, Like okay, got in our school. So I
was talking to my youngest about this is you want
a guy that looks at you and smiles and like
welcomes people. And coincidentally, we were watching the show and
this guy in the background, who is the dad, smiled
(09:51):
and I said, That's what I'm talking about right there,
That's what I'm talking about. Kind of forgot about it,
and then they asked him to be on the Golden Bachelor.
And like, oh, there's my boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I was joking, the Golden Bachelor, the last one, the
Golden the Golden Bacherette.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I asked her to be a contestant because I guess
I wasn't the only one who noticed his smile when
he was in the background. And he ends up on
the Golden Bachelorette, and I was joking with my daughters like,
oh my god, my boyfriend's going to be on the show.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
He's oh my god, what play Wait? How long were
you on the show for?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
That's what I'm talking about on the show? And he was.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I didn't watch that one either.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It was a contestant, so he was on until the
very end.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Were you like the final runner up?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
He was, No, there's more So all of a sudden,
we cannot because I slimmed his damns and we connect
and we're talking.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
So angry at you right now.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
And I did not I did not know. This is
the first time I'm talking about this, by the way,
I did not know whether he was still on the
show or not. Like he could have had this girl
in Bachelorette in his closet in the back room. I
had no idea because I refused to talk about the Bachelor, like,
(11:06):
I didn't want that to be the reason we were talking.
And so I would watch the show with this guy
I just connected with. Is he going to kick it?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
He's still on the show. She chose him, He's still
on the show. And then I would get a call
from him like we're talking, and he's.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Wait, you guys were talking at this time already because
you mhow airs later?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Okay, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
You DM him then when before he was on the show.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I think I DMed him during when he went to
the final I don't know women tell all something. I
don't know something later Oh, okay, the show. Then he
ends up on the show, got it, And toward the
end of the show, we start dming. We started texting
each other, and so we were full on talking for
(11:51):
a couple months and me not knowing if he was
Literally I didn't tell you. We just didn't. We didn't talk.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
What are you crazy? No, that would have been my
first question, Are you engaged?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
No? I think I knew this a woman. I think
I knew he wasn't changed, and he was home, so
it made sense. But I seriously did not want to
talk about the damn show.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So we just connected, you know, and he doesn't live
in La so we didn't see each other. Otherwise I
may have gotten more specific, but we're just talking, you know.
And then the night he got kicked off, my daughters
were there with me, and we're celebrating.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Like, oh, why did he get kicked off?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Because it was faith that he was going to be
with me?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Right? Is he happy he got kicked off? I'm looking
at him, I'm like, I see, I see I had not.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Is he happy that he got kicked off? So?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Okay, So how long are you guys? I'm dating for how.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Long he's better with? How long? Five months? Five months?
Six months?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
What makes us different than anything else?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh? You know what?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You know? You just don't know how bad you had
it until you have one thousand and I always apologize
to him, like I want to say. When we first met,
I say, you have no baggage, everything's good, you know,
don't worry like and then you're in it and you're
being treated right, and you realize you had baggage, and
(13:18):
you have baggage because.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
What is one of the things that you bring to
the table that isn't the prettiest version of yourself.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
It's hard to just accept kindness.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Now something else, give me something.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Else, something that I bring that's not good.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
That he would be that you really.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
It's just because that's too like Sacraine sweet, this accepting
kindness thing. Oh god, I bring so much. He's just
so accepting of all my horrible things.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But we'd be like, I need to work on this.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
My insecurities just because I became insecure in a relationship
that wasn't perfect. And you meet someone and you wonder
why they love you, because.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Does that insecurity come out in ways of insecurity?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You know, just like insecurity, you know, just tell me.
I know you do, but tell me. I know how
you feel, but just tell me. But he tells me
in so many ways, all the damn time, all the time, and.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Then you realize how it should have been the entire time. Yeah,
I mean, y'all are in love? Do you want to
get married again?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
He's just giving me the eyebright raises. He's just mister
GQ in the corner over there. He's like, I got
a peek in which I would love for him.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Care, can you come here?
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I'm on Mark Marketing Mark. He wants his come on,
come on in.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
He would have gone through glam if he had known.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
You know, did they ask you to be the Golden Bachelor?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
It's an application process, the application process.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Would you have done it?
Speaker 5 (15:18):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
No?
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Wow, the show wasn't for me?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, what piece of it was wasn't for you? What
piece wasn't What piece of it that was? Like? What? What?
Why wasn't it what you liked?
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Because I already have something?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Well no, no, I know, but when you were on it?
Speaker 5 (15:41):
I mean I went there.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
For a specific like I was looking for something when
I went there, and for me, I didn't find. Like
the experience for me was fantastic, Like it was the
best thing that could have happened to me at that time. Sure,
because it helped me grow as a person because of
(16:06):
the other men that were there.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
That was for me, like the experience of a lifetime.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
And I don't think it could ever be replicated, you know,
like I could never I don't think that could ever improve,
you know, like I don't think that could be ever
done again.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Have you all mingled the kids together?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
How is that?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
We had Christmas? We all met in Branson, Missouri, all
of our kids and spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends, and
it was wild because all of our kids are about
the same age and so it was I don't know,
possibly the best time I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Like it was.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
It was so crazy, games like constant, like just like
drinking games and games.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
And outdoor ping pong, pool like botchy ball like name it.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
We did it as Joey, his son in law to be,
is an ex or maybe current tennis instructor. And there
were racquetball or what is it pickleball?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Course you were there, no, I know it's trending in the.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, and so he was teaching everybody and there's ping
pong and like, oh, it was just like it was heaven.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I feel like there's something to be said about the
relationships you find post divorce when you're older, because not
only have I grown post my divorce, but also I
know my husband, my now husband, has too, and he's
learned how to love me better in this marriage too,
and I know how to love I think if we
would have met even in my thirties, I don't think
(17:48):
I would have treated him the way that I know
a man deserves to be treated, and I think vice
versa so I think there's something to be said. Taking
some of the things that we didn't do perfectly in
our marriage before, whether it was our fault or not. Yeah,
and then bringing you know, the growth into a new
relationship I think is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
So, but I do believe that you've been a great
guy and giving and carrying your whole life. I may
not have been, but you have been. I mean, I
really believe he's been like that forever. And I want
to I have not met his mother yet, and I
just want to hug her and thank her because someone
raised you right, man, like you're a good person.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And you want to get married too. Yeah, I love
this stry to do it right now. I'm actually an
ordained minister. I'm not at all that is that is?
And are you still acting?
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
You still do? I wait, you just did a were
you on Lifetime?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I probably?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I feel like I just saw you in something? But yeah,
we need my.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Daughter and something. Now, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Let's do it and not the jealous type.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
No him, Yeah, I think he. I haven't given him
the opportunity.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Okay, because if you ever been with an actress before, No,
because my husband struggles with that piece of it, I.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Think he might like if I like, I'm talking for you.
But and you know what, if he didn't have a
problem with it, I would have a problem with the
fact that he was.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Just going to say. And I love the fact that
he is, like my husband's like you are you know
you're mine and you know you're my girl, and I
don't want you around like that.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
And so if he said, by honey, knowing that you're
going on like.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Some god ever didn't care, and I'm like, you don't care,
like not even a piece of you who is Like
there's a carry.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
Like but there's a little difference between something you've done.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah, something you're doing right.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Yeah, Like I mean to see like to watch the
one Tree.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Hill, right you did you see Won Tree Hill before
she slid into your damns? Not at all. But I've
just finished you well, Okay, Alan's got to get a
talking to you because he still will not watch. I
mean I haven't either, but like he you know, but yeah,
but I see what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
But it's different to see it's kind of like, you know,
like a relationship.
Speaker 6 (20:03):
I would imagine that she's had relationships before we met,
you know, it's just that you don't see it right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I would recommend not going to a set when she
does have to have a kissing scene because it's just
not comfortable for anyone.
Speaker 6 (20:16):
Yeah, yeah, I mean and that part I don't know.
I mean, you know, it's I've never experienced that sure, right,
So I mean as a career, right, I would.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
Never say you can't yeah, right, but I would need
I don't know. I don't like when that time.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Comes, right, Guys that haven't you know, And I get
that just does have.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
A hard time with that for her if I were
to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Well, yes and no, because it's like if we've dated
actors before, because that's what I always tell my husband.
I'm like, but I've dated actors. It's not a big
deal because we know that it's not anything. It's just yeah,
literally nothing. It's not it's not sexy, it's not intimate.
The I always believe the intimate stuff happens in the
trailer when it's when the yell cut. That's that's when
(21:07):
you have to be careful crossing lines and all that stuff.
So really, on camera, it's just there's so many people watching.
It's not a sexy thing. And that's what I always
try to tell my husband because it's like, it's not
what you think it is. I have zero feelings for
this person. I have zero butterfliester like nothing like, it's
it's all mechanical. Yeah, but you know, I always say,
(21:27):
he's like, well, you wouldn't like it if I did.
I'm like, you're not an actor, so you haven't done
it a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I really wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
So yeah, not an actor. So I'm like, you know,
he's like, well, maybe I'll do it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
Like this is like that you're not an actress. I
don't understand that piece of it. But but I also
understand their insecurity. Sure, you know, going to the office
and making out with someone like, I get that. But
we'll see when it happens. But seriously, my d can
(21:52):
issue go get a pint.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
So I would be like like, yeah, yeah, yeah, how
is work today, honey, that's okay. Yeah, we'll see, we'll
see how you act if that ever happens.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Well, stay tuned. Yeah, and thank you Mark for joining us.
We appreciate you. Barb Brah'm say so glad we got
to so great. Finally do this, Let's go, Let's go
to Paris and go shopping.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Do that. Yeah, I have a list, I know what
I want to get there.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
And this is just a reminder to the ladies out
there because I cried in my bed too when I
got divorced and I was like, no one will ever
love me. And then you finally meet the person you
love yourself and then you finally meet the person that
how you should have been treated the entire time.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And I do think this is also cliche, but you
do need to like focus on you the time for
every while. You can't just jump into something else, which
is what I've done in the past. So focus on
yourself and you can't lie, like you can't say, Okay,
it's all about me now and then I'll meet somebody.
You just have to be unaware. You have to truly
make it happen. I want a love with yourself.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah. I always wanted to leave knowing that I had
an OP and I realized and that I was like,
all right when I was leaving and I knew I
had no options, and I really that's what I was like,
all right, I have like I am doing this. I
have to do this myself. And figure out how to heal,
and you know, we learn. Yeah, we live and we learn.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, it's all good. It all works out in the end.
It's all good.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
It does all right. Love you, Thank you, Jason, thanks
for coming up.
Host
Jana Kramer
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