Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
You never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here it is Brawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Thank you nephew. Subject Does he have an outside influence?
Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband can be the sweetest man
or the most annoying person in the world, depending on
his mood. If he feels like talking, he does it
on his terms. I share tidbits of my workday with
him and we talk about that together. But if I
ask him how his day was, he says everything was
(00:46):
fine or uneventful that day. He doesn't share any parts
of his personal life. And it sounds strange to say
that because I thought marriagement that we had the same
personal life with the exception of our friends.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
He has a different opinion, and.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
When I ask what's going on, he tells me that
I'm nosy or nagging him as a married man. He
rode through a new neighborhood and took pictures of three
homes and I saw the pictures on his phone. I
can't ask about them because he would have a fit
and start hiding his phone again. He always has his
AirPods in and he walks around the house on the phone.
(01:21):
I don't dare ask him who he's talking to because
he will embarrass me while he is on the phone.
He's done that numerous times before. I have walked in
on him pleasuring himself and call me crazy, but I
think he was on the phone with another woman while
he was doing it. It makes me think he has
an outside influence that's making him act like this towards me.
(01:43):
The final straw for me was him coming home with
the tray of jambalaya and a tray of seafood pasta,
and he said that a girl he met recently has
a new catering company, so he helped her out by
ordering from her. Why didn't he call me first to
see what I wanted? Do I need to find the
new girl that caters food or is it someone else?
Why has my husband's attitude changed. Well, it doesn't sound
(02:07):
like it's changed much. It sounds like he's been the
same person throughout your marriage. Who said he could be
the sweetest man or the most annoying person in the world,
depending on his mood.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
You said that.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Now you're asking about outside influences. If you mean another woman, Yes,
it most certainly can be that, and it could be
this catering woman. I mean, but it really sounds like
something you should be asking him and not us, not
Steve and I. But again, you should be asking your husband,
like I said, because why are you so afraid to
(02:40):
talk to this man? You're afraid? It sounds like and
it doesn't sound like he likes you at all. He
doesn't want to hear what you have to say. He's
ignoring you in the house with his AirPods in so
so far the way it's been going, you say something,
he shuts you down with his response.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Who gave him that power? You did?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I mean, what's wrong with you asking him certain questions?
And who is he that he won't answer you? Or
is he Why is he trying to make you feel
badly for asking the questions in the first place. This
is a controlling situation.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
On his part.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
I think because he's got you scared to say anything
to him. You got to speak up. You have a voice.
You got to change the narrative here. Let him know
how you feel and what you want. Make it about
you sometimes not always about him.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Steve Well, this lader right here has a few angles
to it. I will tell you this right here. He
don't like you. Let me just go get that out
the way. He don't really like you. And I'm going
to help you understand something about women. So women pay
attention because I think this is going to help a
lot of you. Because I've heard this before this Stephen Shelley.
(03:49):
My husband can be the sweetest man or the most
annoying person in the world.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
I'm not talking about that part.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Right there, depending on his mood, if he feels like talking,
he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
On his turns.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Most men are not as talkative as women overall as
a whole. That's just and I'm not being sexist. It's
just most men are normally not as talkative as most women.
Now are there exceptions to that, of course it is,
but I'm just making a general statement for the most part,
(04:23):
so that's not uncommon.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Here's the problem.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
In this letter starting, I share tid bits of my
workday with him and we talk about that together. But
if I ask him how his day was, he says
everything was fine or eventful that day. He don't share
any positive his personal life, and it sounds strange to
say that. Well, let me start with this. When you
(04:49):
say you share tid.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Bits of your day and we talk about it, and
then when you ask him how the day was he
said thing was fine or uneventful.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Why is that happening? Because you take up all the
time to her, but you know how many tea had
been cheating brought up and you take up all the
dog on talk time. Then when you ask him how
his day went, he go, I'm fine, everything was good.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It wasn't It ain't nothing happening, just wasn't eventful.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
How many women go through this, I can promise you
a lot, because ladies, you don't even see how you
come across with that. And I'm not blaming you, I'm
just you don't you're not aware of these tidbits that
you talk about. It don't really be bits and it
(05:45):
don't be tieds because y'all have to verbalize things and
you take up the time. So in defense of him,
it's you, just you. You're talking too much, and it's
after work, and the man want to talk about his work.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
He just ain't. So that part is okay. Now, the
rest of the letter is not good. He doesn't share
any parts of his personal life.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
And that sounds strange to say that because I thought
management that we had the same personal life.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Who told you that? That's not what that means.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You cannot have the same personal life as your mate.
Who told you that you have to always have some
form of individuality in order for the marriage to work.
Nobody wants to be tied to the hip with somebody
the rest of their life.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Everybody finna do that?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Hang on, Hang on, Steve.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
I want to go to you something. My wife gonna
do something. We can't do everything together. I don't want
you playing golf.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject
does he have an outside influence? We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is does he have an outside influence?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
I don't know if he has an outside influence, but
this man don't like you, so let's get to this letter.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Either.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Your husband could be the sweetest person in the world,
the most annoying depends.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
On his mood.
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Uh. He only likes to talk on his terms. But
here's what she said in the letter. I shed tidbits
on my work day with him and talk about it together.
But I asked him how his work day was, as
he say, everything was fine and it wasn't none eventful.
And I'm telling her that's because you use up all
the time with all your tidbits. By the time you
cover the eight nine tid bits that happen to you
(08:07):
all day. He don't want talk no more. It's after work.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm off.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
I don't want to talk about my job. I want
to leave my job at the house. That's all that is.
But now let's move on. And then she said that
sounds kind of strange to her because I thought marriage
meant that we had the same personal life. Lady who
told you that marriage does not mean you have the
same personal life. That means you come together, join together
(08:34):
in the marriage to be a benefit and a help
to one another, to plange your love to somebody, and
to help you all reach a common goal, and to
live your life together and.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Have a family. That's marriage. Should you have a personal
life of your own, you absolutely should.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Now things that your wife should do that she don't
want you involved in, and you don't want to be
involved in. And there's some things that you do that
your wife don't need to be involved in it. You
don't want to involved in it. I don't want my
wife smoking cigars me and my friend. I don't want
my wife coming to play golf with me. Every time
she tells me, I'm gonna take some golf lessons. I
(09:10):
changed the subject.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
What are you change it to?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Just anything? Shopping? Okay, let's do something you like that,
and then that's it.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
And come on, now, she got her friends they gonna
have They tease their little wines and stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Me and my friend smoke cigarets and play golf. That's it.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
And fish that she fishes with me. But that's it
all right now. Then he has a different opinion. And
when I ask him what's going on, he tells me
that I'm nosy. Are nagging him? Nagging, ladies, I wrote
in the book, And I will remind you what nagging is.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Nagging is tone and timing.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
That's all it is. So it could be the way
you bringing it up, in the tone you use it to.
It could be. But your man don't really care for you.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We fin to get into that.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
As a married man, he rolled through a new neighborhood
and took pictures of three homes. And I saw the
pictures on his phone. So he took pictures of three
houses he liked. Now you saw him on his phone.
Now guess what. I can't ask him about him because
he would have a fit and start hiding his phone again.
Wait a minute, what you mean hiding his phone again.
(10:26):
You've been going through the man's phone. So now he
done took the pictures of three houses he liked. That's
all it was. Man, lady, come on, you got to
pull up you too much. You're overreacting a little bit here.
But maybe not because he don't like you. He always
has his ab pods in and he walks around the
(10:49):
house on the phone. I dare not ask him who
he's talking to because he will embarrass me while he's
on the phone.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
He don't like you, this dude just walking around the house.
What you talking? What you're talking to? See, I'm on
the phone. Let me talk on the phone. I don't
bother you when you're on the phone.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Now you're over there in the corner going I didn't
mean all that, and I'm waiting a minute. I have
walked in on him pleasuring himself and call me crazy,
but I think he was on the phone with another
woman while he was doing it.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Now he probably was, if you're being honest, I'm.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Just gonna be real with child. You know I can't.
I can't help him here. I I won't just go
out and say that.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's probably what will happen.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
That helped for sure?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Right it is?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
You know?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
It makes me think he has an outside influence that's
making him act like this towards me, lady.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
How many how much information you need? He don't talk
to you.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
He keep his abb buzz in every time you say
something to him, taking pictures of three houses, and he
ain't mentioned the houses to you. He on the phone
pleasuring himself. You think he talking to a woman? Call
me crazy. I think he got outside influence making him
act him. The final straw for me was him coming
home with a trailer Jumbali and a trail of seafood posse.
And he said that the girl he met recently had
(12:31):
a new catering company, so he after out by ordering
from her. That sounds fair. Why didn't he call me
first to see what I wanted?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
He don't like you. He don't care what you want.
I be telling her. I tell you, he don't even
talk to you. You gonna eat what I bring home.
I bought a trail of it.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
Eat this right here. I don't even like you. Matter
of fact, I don't even care what you want.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Your comments do?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
I need to find this new girl that caters to food. Okay,
go over there.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Why is my husband attitude change? It ain't changed. He'd
been the same through the whole letter.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Yeah on Instagram and Facebook. Thank you Steve and Steve
Harvey an watch.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You check us out.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
It's at the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Do you want to divorce?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.