Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you
need advice and relationships, work, sex, parenting and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARVFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're going to read
this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.
We got it. Poor you. Here it is strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Let us thank you, nephew. Subject has my husband been
faking it? Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty nine year
old married woman and my husband is thirty seven. My
husband lost his job in twenty twenty and we moved
to a smaller house and use the equity from our
old house to cover our expenses until he could find
another job. The change of lifestyle made us closer and
(00:46):
really humbled him. He finally joined my church and he
stopped pressuring me to have a baby. He told me
that he was happier than he'd been he'd ever been,
and he felt at peace. Then he got a job
in twenty twenty three. Late last year, he got a
big promotion and now he earns more than he's ever earned.
By the first of this year, he started saying that
(01:08):
we're outgrowing the small house and we need to find
a house in our old neighborhood. He suggested that I
start looking for a new car for myself, but I
just paid off my Volvo, so I'm good for now.
I am a teacher and I have no desire to
drive a nice car to my job in the hood.
He bought a new SUV and renewed our membership to
(01:29):
a private club where we were usually the only blacks
at events. He started going back to his old tailor
and he cut off his beard that I loved. He
was becoming his old self again. I Memorial Day, his
company had a cookout and I could not wait to
meet his coworkers that he bragged about most of the
black ones don't know they're black. And I didn't know
(01:51):
if I should laugh at my husband or clap for
him when he used proper subject verb agreement. My husband
really wants the status that he won. Had I told
him that he lied about being comfortable with my downs
with downsizing our lives. He said that it is time
for a change. Was my husband faking his happiness with
(02:11):
me for the past five years. Well, I mean, definitely,
I don't think he was faking it. But what I'm
trying to figure out is what are you complaining about?
I mean, I would think you would be happy to
move into a nicer home and also that your husband
wants to buy you a new car and do nice
things for you. I mean, he's obviously making more money
(02:32):
now and he's being the provider and that's what real
real men do. He's getting a swag back. Okay. He
wants you to be proud of him. He wants you
to go with him, but you're seem stuck and resistant.
I mean, I really again, don't think he was lying
about being comfortable with the downsizing, not at all. He
(02:54):
made the necessary adjustments to deal with the life he
had while he wasn't working. He didn't complain, He dealt
with it. Now he's back and he wants to live
and thrive and take his life your lives to the
next level. He wants you to go with him. You're
his wife. What's wrong with that? It shows he's adaptable.
He's making up for lost time now while you're trying
(03:14):
to stay stuck in the past, you know, and focus
on the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Steve, You know what I think. I think. I don't
even want to do this letter.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
That's that's how I feel about I really do, because Shelley,
you absolutely correct. What are you complaining about? What's the matter?
This man ain't cheating. He ain't taking his money and
spending it nowhere else. He keep bringing it back into
the house. He wants to do something nice for you
all the time.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
You a teacher.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
You don't want to drive a nice car into the hood,
can you? You sold your your paid your vovo off.
He won't get you a new car, drive your vovo.
I don't even know what's what's wrong in this letter?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yes, what is wrong?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I don't even know. Has my husband been faking it now?
I'm thinking you know that title.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yeah, faking and telling us we've been in love for
years and he got another family, so well, he tell
me everything all right, and he's seeing this other woman
on the side. That letter ain't about none of that.
Listen to what he did. You're a thirty nine year
old married woman. Your husband is thirty seven. He lost
(04:28):
his job, y'all moved into a smaller house. Y'all took
the equity from the old house and held it down
until he could And you said, to cover our expenses
until he could find another good job. That's what you
did with the equity in the house, to cover y'all's
expenses until he could find another good job. Then you said,
(04:49):
the change of lifestyle made us closely closer, and it
really humbled him. Okay, see this is what this led about.
You like the new humble person. He finally joined my church.
He stopped pressuring me to have a baby. See now,
as long as he doing what you want to do,
there you go. Now you're happy. He joined your church.
(05:11):
And he probably didn't even won't go down a little
raggedy church. He went on and join you. He might
not even like your past, all that hooping and holly.
Everybody don't want to go down there for all that?
Why is they running in here? Well?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
All and everybody want to all you go want the
little quiet, little church.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Ain't nobody rejoicing all the old dry service, ain't got
no jam in choir. He finally joined it, and he
does stop pressuring you to have a baby. He want
a family. You're thirty nine that's pressure to have a baby.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
He told me that he's happier than he's ever been,
and he felt at peace. Here's a man who made
the necessary adjustments without complaining, and he settled on in
for the sake of his family. Then he got a
job in twenty twenty three, he backed making all kinds
of new money. He started saying that we're outgrowing the
(06:02):
small house. We need to find a house in our
old neighborhood. He suggested, you start looking for a new
car for yourself. I just paid off my Vovo, so
I'm good. I'm a teacher. I don't want to drive
his nice car in the hood. He bought a new suv.
He renewed your membership down at the private club. We
usually only blacks at the events. That's what happened when
you in certain neighborhoods. He started going back to his
(06:24):
old tailor, cut off his beard.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
That I loved.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
He was becoming his old self again. Then they had
a cookout. You met the black people that wasn't really black.
You was laughing at him the way he talked. Just
hang on, girl, Bode.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hang on, hang on, Steve. We'll have for two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry Letters subject is has my husband been faking it?
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
se Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
My name is Tony and my daughter Bailey is seven
years old. We learned about Seek of Seale at bird
So when we got the news, my first mind was whiles.
I remember that sometimes the things that you go through
are not necessarily for you, there for somebody else. I'm
so thankful to God and Saint Jude and all the
angels that work here. They took all the worry with.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
You can help kids fight childhood cancer and diseases like
sickle cell. Please become a Saint Jude Partner in Hope
today by texting SHMS to seven eight five eight three three.
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letter.
I know you said you didn't want to really do
this letter, but let's do it as much been faking it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
They married couple, She thirty nine, he thirty seven. He
had a job.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
He lost his job, and they decided to downsize until
he could find a better job. Another good job, they say,
So they took the equity from the house provided a
lifestyle for him, and she said that the change really
both him. So he stopped pressing you to having a baby,
and he finally joined your church. Man, he ain't want
(08:08):
to join the church down now, Maybe he ain't like
there's two reasons you don't want to go church. You
don't want to go down there with all that hooping
and hollering that track me to be at some churches.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Or he want to go down to this little.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Dry Latin speaking Lord you over there there and got
him books the whole dry service. Y'all ain't got no
drum at the church.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Nothing. Everybody don't want that. Now.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
You either don't want the hooping and holland or the
track meet, or you don't want to go down here
that latins me this. Oh we're gonna open up our
him books to page two eight two eight.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I know he will fix it. He will. After Wow,
we didn't have no human books.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Somebody just jumped up and busted out into a song
and we followed.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Well. Finally joined the church. Stop pressing you to have
a baby.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
He told you he was happy and that he had
ever been and he felt at peace. This is a
man who's adjusting to the circumstance. So instead of getting
down the downside and complaining, he told you he was
at peace. Last year he got a new job, got
a big promotion. He want to move out the old neighborhood.
He suggested they start looking for a bigger house. Then
(09:24):
he told you to find yourself a new car. I
just played off my vovo. I'm a teacher. I don't
want to drive no new car to no hood. Keep
your Vovo. Then he bought a new SUV renewed your
membership down at the private club where we usually only
blacks at the event. That's what happened all the time.
When you move out into neighborhoods. It ain't a lot
of us out there, so you wind up being the
(09:44):
only one that ain't the first time. Then this company
had a cookout. I couldn't wait to meet his co
workers that he bragged about. Most of the black ones
don't know that they black, or they playing the game too,
because when they're at home, they got to be something else.
We done all had to put the mask on to
come to work, so you know, everybody know what the
(10:04):
masks look like. They's work in corporate America and put
the mask on, go down here and deal with it
so we can go home. Yeah, most of the black
ones don't know they black. They probably do. They just
got to play the game. And so I didn't know
if I should laugh at my husband or clap when
he used proper subject verb agreement. You a teacher, you
ought to be happy about that. My husband really wants
(10:27):
the status that he once had. Yes, he does, because
that's what money does. It provides you with the status.
I told him he lied about being comfortable with downsides
in our lives.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
No, he didn't.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
He just adjusted and instead of being a whiner and complainer,
he went along with it. Man, that's the kind of
man you won't. He said that it's time for a change.
Was my husband faking his happiness with me for the
past five years?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Why is that your question? Exactly? Why is that your question?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
If he was faking it, what you would would having
a real family and another family or woman on the
side and all that I could have. But was he No,
he wasn't faking it. That's the happiest he's been. He
was at peace. He was out the rat race for
a minute. He took a break but the true him
wants to get back in the game. And yes, he
wants that status because that's why you make more money.
(11:27):
And he's doing exactly what a man should do. He's
making more money to provide a better lifestyle for you.
He buying you a bigger house, he buying you a
new car. Man, what do you want? What difference you
will make? Why are you trying to make something wrong?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Exactly? You just trying to make something wrong. Lady.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
It's women listening to this letter, going, girl buying this,
woman saying, b're going, that's that sounded like my husband.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to do this.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Or oh that's my husband.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Uh huh yeah, yeah, that's just the way of manhood.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
So that's why they want to answer this letter because
I don't know what she's complaining about.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
It just lady, you ain't even got no problem. Let
me cut my compute on. I ain't got no more
comments on. Y'all want to talk about something else? How
the weather good?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Really quickly?
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Patience in their back right now? Ain'tybody heard anything about Puffy?
What's happening with the puppy?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Try same old spreakoff details and all of that. Crazy.
It's too long this Yeah, it's really long. It's really long.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Too long and slippery. Yes, too much.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
You're just saying anything that comes in. Yeah, filter, he
doesn't think no, no, no, no filter what wait wait
thank filter? Think for what.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
It's way more, way, more interesting than this.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, this letter was crazy. She shouldn't have been She
really shouldn't have been complaining. All right, So you can comment.
You can comment on Today's letter on Instagram. You can
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(13:43):
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