June 11, 2025 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Wednesday, June 11th, 2025: Subject - "He Assumed I Was Stupid"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
(00:02):
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.
Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
That's for you, Jay, Muggle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Letter subject he assumed I was stupid. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm thirty four years old and I was dating a
guy that's thirty two years old, and we broke up
because he said I am not a team player. A
week ago, he had to put his car in the
shop and he asked if I could pick him up
from the repair shop. I went by to get him
(00:50):
and he said his car would be ready in a week.
I had planned to drop him off at home and
go to dinner with my coworker. I got to his
house and went in to use a bathroom. I noticed
he was in his closet and he had a suitcase
on his bed. I asked him if he was going somewhere,
and he said he would be staying at my house
all week until his car was fixed. That way, he
(01:11):
wouldn't have to rent a car or have me driving
him around. Now, Stephen Shirley, I am a hard working,
independent woman and I always have been self sufficient and
had my own car and place to live. These men
I'm meeting nowadays think it's okay to lean on a
woman for support or have the woman go out of
her way for them. I was disappointed in him for
(01:33):
assuming he could stay at my house and he could
use my car without asking me first. I asked if
his insurance policy covered a rental car, and he said
he didn't include it in his policy because it would
have raised his premium. Here's the biggest issue I have
with all of this. If the roles were reversed, I
could never assume I am staying at his house and
(01:55):
he wouldn't let me drive his BMW for a week. Hell,
he wouldn't even offer to drop me off at work
and pick me up. After a heated discussion, I left
him at his house and went to dinner with my coworker.
Later that night, he broke up with me, and I
was stunned. Am I wrong to have such high standards. Hmm, well,
(02:17):
I'll say this, No, I don't think you're wrong to
have standards, high standards, standards, you know, Steve wrote a
whole book about that very thing, and act like a lady,
think like a man. Standards and requirements is what he
called it, and it's where a woman should, you know,
have certain expectations from her man, your man or ex
man is wrong, Yes, he is. For assuming he could
(02:40):
lay up on you without at least asking you first.
Communication is key here. You didn't say in the letter
how long you guys have been dating. You just said
you're thirty four and he's thirty two. But obviously it
wasn't long enough for you for him to be asking
you this. I don't think he was right for you anyway,
because you said if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't
(03:01):
do the same for you, and it sounded like you
were pretty clear about that. So why were you even
stunned that he broke it off with you when you said, no,
I think he's moved on, and I think you should
move on as well.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Steve, this is an interesting letter because I find some
problems in both of these the letter writer and the
guy and I'll.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Share it with you.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
He assumed I was stupid, Well, that topic of the letter,
I'm not sure that he assumed you were stupid. I
think he assumed a bit much. And i'll show you
what I mean. Thirty four years old, you're dating a
guy that's thirty two. We broke up because he said
I'm not a team player. Now, based on this letter,
(03:47):
I think he's right in saying you're not a team player.
But I also think he went about this thought wrong way.
So I think there's wrong on both sides in this letter.
A week ago, he with his car in the shop
and he asked her if you could pick him up
from the repair shop. I went by to get him.
He said his car would be ready in a week.
(04:08):
I planned to drop him off at home and go
to dinner with my coworkers. Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I got to his house and went to use the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I noticed he was in his closet and he had
a suitcase on his bed. I asked him if he
was going somewhere, and he said he was gonna stay
in my house all week until the car was fixed.
That way he wouldn't have to rent a car or
have me drive him around. Now, he's wrong right here
because he assumed this. He didn't have the courtesy or
(04:39):
the decency that asked this woman. So he was wrong,
like two left shoes for this. Now, Steven Sherlo, I'm
a hard working, independent woman. I've always been self sufficient
to have my own car in the place to live.
These men i'm meet him nowadays think it's okay to
lean on a woman's for support or have a woman
go out of her way for them. Now we are
dealing with the woman who has some preconceived notions about men.
(05:03):
She has put all men in the same category, or
at least all the men she's meeting.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So obviously she's been.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Meeting a lot of men that mussoline on women. And
I understand her feeling that way, but he was wrong
for assuming this. But she just went, Okay, here we
go again, same old, same, Oh these dudes updating nowadays,
I all think this way. Then she said, I was
disappointed in him for assuming he could stay at my
(05:32):
house and he could use my car without asking me first.
He had absolutely no right to assume. That's the problem
in this letter, and he assumed something that obviously shouldn't
have been taken for granted, so he was wrong for that.
Then she asked if his insurance policy covered winter car.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
And then he said he didn't include.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
That his policy because it would have raised his premiums.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I don't know how much extra that is.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
The rental car clause, and I don't know how much
that raises the premium. But I was always taught that
I do some prevention is worth a pound of cure,
and right now a rental car is the pound of cure.
He would have saved hisself some problems with that little
bit of money to just pay for that clause in.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
His insurance problesy.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah, Now, when I come back, I will show you
what's really wrong here, because she has some notions about
him not being able to do the same thing I shared.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
When we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
All right, thank you, Steve. We'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Subject for today's Strawberry letter, he assumed I was stupid.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Lee will be six. In September. We are at Saint
Jude because she was diagnosed with leukemia. Her treatment is
receiving a chemotherapy and it is a two and a
half to three year process. Fact that Saint Jude does
not send a bill has been a god seeing childhood
cancer needs to be eradicated.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You can help kids fight childhood cancer and diseases like
sickle cell. Please become a Saint Jude partner in Hope
today by texting SHMS to seven eight five eight three three.
All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's Strawberry letters.
Subject he assumed I was stupid.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Well, I don't know if he assumed he was stupid,
but he was stupid for assuming In this latter he
got his car fixed. The woman she asked him to
come pick him up the riding home, told her that
his call is gonna be in the shop full week.
She had plans of dropping the man off at home
and going to dinner with some co workers. She got
to the man's house and went to the bathroom. She
(07:58):
came out he had a suitcase out. She ask the
man if he was going somewhere. He said, I'm gonna
come over here and stay at your house for a week,
so I ain't got to rent no car, and you
ain't got to run around picking me up. She was
offended because he assumed that he could come and stay
at her house, and.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
She's absolutely correct. He should not have assumed.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
He should have asked this woman, Hey, I was just thinking,
do you think it would be okay if I stayed
at your house? Because I don't have a car and
I might need something to look I hate to be
a bother, but you know, blah blah blah blah, it
would have sounded better, but you assumed. Then the woman
turned around and ask him does his insurance policy cover that?
He said he didn't put it in his policy because
(08:40):
he ain't wanted to boost up the premiums. Well, now
we got a little bit of thing going right here,
because the guy is dead.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Wrong for assuming this.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
But now she was disappointed in him for assuming he
could stay at his house and he could use my
car without asking me first.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
She's absolutely correct in this.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
But now the dude, there was another party that I
wanted to show you, ask him if you can go somewhere?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Said Da, Da, Da da.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Anyway, I might have missed that point, but anyway, she's
a hard working independent woman.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
This is the part these men I'm meeting nowadays think
it's okay to lean on a woman for support or
have the woman go out of her way for them.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Man, that's a bad look, fellas.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
And for her to be feeling that way, obviously she's
been dealing with just that in her relationship and she
probably thought to herself, Okay, here we go again. Dude
was wrong and for assuming that he doesn't want to
go up, his insurance policy premias go up, so he
left that out. Then she says, here's the big issue
I had with all this. If the roles were reversed,
I could never assume I'm staying at his house.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
So oh whoa, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
So now you're dating a guy and you said, if
the roles were reversed, I could never assume I'm staying
at his house. My question is, and you know this exactly,
and you know this, and then he wouldn't let me
drive his BMW for a week. Wait a minute, and
(10:08):
you know this, and he wouldn't even offer to drop
me at work and pick me up. Wait a minute,
and you know this, What the hell are you dating
this dude? For you dating a dude who won't go
out of his way for you?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
At all, and you know this.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
So after he had discussion, I left him at the
house and went to dinner with my coworker. Later that night,
he broke up with me, and I was stunned. Am
I wrong for having such high standards? Wait a minute,
I'm sorry, your standards aren't high enough.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Excuse me? Why are you stunned?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Here's a dude that would not offer to let you
stay at his house if your car broke down. Here's
a dude who would not let you drive his car
if your car broke down. And here's a dude who
won't pick you up and drop you off at work
if your car broke down.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Now you stunned because you broke up? What? I was
stunned that she was stunned? Right, I'm stunned that this
is who you dating.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yeah, knowing all that you know about this young man,
you're still in it. Here's y'all's problem. This must not
be a serious relationship. It can't be. And the two
of you don't have a clear definition of what you are.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Because if this is.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Your man and you are his woman, all these stuff
y'all having problem with in this letter seemed to me
would be automatic. If this is my woman, Why would
I have a problem with her staying in my house
for a week? If this is your man, why would
you have a problem with him staying at your house
this week? But the real problem is he assumed some
(12:03):
things about you, and you know some things about him.
He assumes teacher to stay with you, drive your car,
and you pick him up and take him work. You
know you couldn't stay with him. You can't drive his
car and he's going to pick you up and drop
you off. We don't have a match here because we
(12:27):
don't have a relationship. So you went out to dinner
with your girlfriend, You came back and you find out
he tell you he breaking up with me because you're
not a team player. Well, the problem is, ain't either
one of y'all team players, right team? So what we're
talking about him? You're not a team player. He's not
(12:47):
a team player. Don't neither one of y'all. This ain't
a team y'all got.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Y'all ain't even got.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
A team, So I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
No, you ain't got nothing here.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Of the keep it moving, hell, y'all, Why y'all seeing
each other? It's ragney, right, relationship y'all got, and you
stunned because he broke up. Hell now he's stunned because
you won't let him stay with it. But he was
wrong for assuming and should at least ask a woman
give her the courtesy. Yeah, but then the reason you
(13:20):
really ain't got no rental carse.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
You ain't want your premiums up? Okay, red flat, definitely
a rag Fred flag.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's my right, lady, y'all needed you need to say
good riddance to this and go on about your business.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
All right, You're right, Steve, Thank you. Post your comments
on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram
and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
(00:02):
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.
Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
That's for you, Jay, Muggle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Letter subject he assumed I was stupid. Dear Stephen Shirley,
I'm thirty four years old and I was dating a
guy that's thirty two years old, and we broke up
because he said I am not a team player. A
week ago, he had to put his car in the
shop and he asked if I could pick him up
from the repair shop. I went by to get him
(00:50):
and he said his car would be ready in a week.
I had planned to drop him off at home and
go to dinner with my coworker. I got to his
house and went in to use a bathroom. I noticed
he was in his closet and he had a suitcase
on his bed. I asked him if he was going somewhere,
and he said he would be staying at my house
all week until his car was fixed. That way, he
(01:11):
wouldn't have to rent a car or have me driving
him around. Now, Stephen Shirley, I am a hard working,
independent woman and I always have been self sufficient and
had my own car and place to live. These men
I'm meeting nowadays think it's okay to lean on a
woman for support or have the woman go out of
her way for them. I was disappointed in him for
(01:33):
assuming he could stay at my house and he could
use my car without asking me first. I asked if
his insurance policy covered a rental car, and he said
he didn't include it in his policy because it would
have raised his premium. Here's the biggest issue I have
with all of this. If the roles were reversed, I
could never assume I am staying at his house and
(01:55):
he wouldn't let me drive his BMW for a week. Hell,
he wouldn't even offer to drop me off at work
and pick me up. After a heated discussion, I left
him at his house and went to dinner with my coworker.
Later that night, he broke up with me, and I
was stunned. Am I wrong to have such high standards. Hmm, well,
(02:17):
I'll say this, No, I don't think you're wrong to
have standards, high standards, standards, you know, Steve wrote a
whole book about that very thing, and act like a lady,
think like a man. Standards and requirements is what he
called it, and it's where a woman should, you know,
have certain expectations from her man, your man or ex
man is wrong, Yes, he is. For assuming he could
(02:40):
lay up on you without at least asking you first.
Communication is key here. You didn't say in the letter
how long you guys have been dating. You just said
you're thirty four and he's thirty two. But obviously it
wasn't long enough for you for him to be asking
you this. I don't think he was right for you anyway,
because you said if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't
(03:01):
do the same for you, and it sounded like you
were pretty clear about that. So why were you even
stunned that he broke it off with you when you said, no,
I think he's moved on, and I think you should
move on as well.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Steve, this is an interesting letter because I find some
problems in both of these the letter writer and the
guy and I'll.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Share it with you.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
He assumed I was stupid, Well, that topic of the letter,
I'm not sure that he assumed you were stupid. I
think he assumed a bit much. And i'll show you
what I mean. Thirty four years old, you're dating a
guy that's thirty two. We broke up because he said
I'm not a team player. Now, based on this letter,
(03:47):
I think he's right in saying you're not a team player.
But I also think he went about this thought wrong way.
So I think there's wrong on both sides in this letter.
A week ago, he with his car in the shop
and he asked her if you could pick him up
from the repair shop. I went by to get him.
He said his car would be ready in a week.
(04:08):
I planned to drop him off at home and go
to dinner with my coworkers. Okay, that's fair.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I got to his house and went to use the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I noticed he was in his closet and he had
a suitcase on his bed. I asked him if he
was going somewhere, and he said he was gonna stay
in my house all week until the car was fixed.
That way he wouldn't have to rent a car or
have me drive him around. Now, he's wrong right here
because he assumed this. He didn't have the courtesy or
(04:39):
the decency that asked this woman. So he was wrong,
like two left shoes for this. Now, Steven Sherlo, I'm
a hard working, independent woman. I've always been self sufficient
to have my own car in the place to live.
These men i'm meet him nowadays think it's okay to
lean on a woman's for support or have a woman
go out of her way for them. Now we are
dealing with the woman who has some preconceived notions about men.
(05:03):
She has put all men in the same category, or
at least all the men she's meeting.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So obviously she's been.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Meeting a lot of men that mussoline on women. And
I understand her feeling that way, but he was wrong
for assuming this. But she just went, Okay, here we
go again, same old, same, Oh these dudes updating nowadays,
I all think this way. Then she said, I was
disappointed in him for assuming he could stay at my
(05:32):
house and he could use my car without asking me first.
He had absolutely no right to assume. That's the problem
in this letter, and he assumed something that obviously shouldn't
have been taken for granted, so he was wrong for that.
Then she asked if his insurance policy covered winter car.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
And then he said he didn't include.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
That his policy because it would have raised his premiums.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I don't know how much extra that is.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
The rental car clause, and I don't know how much
that raises the premium. But I was always taught that
I do some prevention is worth a pound of cure,
and right now a rental car is the pound of cure.
He would have saved hisself some problems with that little
bit of money to just pay for that clause in.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
His insurance problesy.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah, Now, when I come back, I will show you
what's really wrong here, because she has some notions about
him not being able to do the same thing I shared.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
When we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
All right, thank you, Steve. We'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Subject for today's Strawberry letter, he assumed I was stupid.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Lee will be six. In September. We are at Saint
Jude because she was diagnosed with leukemia. Her treatment is
receiving a chemotherapy and it is a two and a
half to three year process. Fact that Saint Jude does
not send a bill has been a god seeing childhood
cancer needs to be eradicated.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You can help kids fight childhood cancer and diseases like
sickle cell. Please become a Saint Jude partner in Hope
today by texting SHMS to seven eight five eight three three.
All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's Strawberry letters.
Subject he assumed I was stupid.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Well, I don't know if he assumed he was stupid,
but he was stupid for assuming In this latter he
got his car fixed. The woman she asked him to
come pick him up the riding home, told her that
his call is gonna be in the shop full week.
She had plans of dropping the man off at home
and going to dinner with some co workers. She got
to the man's house and went to the bathroom. She
(07:58):
came out he had a suitcase out. She ask the
man if he was going somewhere. He said, I'm gonna
come over here and stay at your house for a week,
so I ain't got to rent no car, and you
ain't got to run around picking me up. She was
offended because he assumed that he could come and stay
at her house, and.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
She's absolutely correct. He should not have assumed.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
He should have asked this woman, Hey, I was just thinking,
do you think it would be okay if I stayed
at your house? Because I don't have a car and
I might need something to look I hate to be
a bother, but you know, blah blah blah blah, it
would have sounded better, but you assumed. Then the woman
turned around and ask him does his insurance policy cover that?
He said he didn't put it in his policy because
(08:40):
he ain't wanted to boost up the premiums. Well, now
we got a little bit of thing going right here,
because the guy is dead.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Wrong for assuming this.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
But now she was disappointed in him for assuming he
could stay at his house and he could use my
car without asking me first.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
She's absolutely correct in this.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
But now the dude, there was another party that I
wanted to show you, ask him if you can go somewhere?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Said Da, Da, Da da.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Anyway, I might have missed that point, but anyway, she's
a hard working independent woman.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
This is the part these men I'm meeting nowadays think
it's okay to lean on a woman for support or
have the woman go out of her way for them.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Man, that's a bad look, fellas.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
And for her to be feeling that way, obviously she's
been dealing with just that in her relationship and she
probably thought to herself, Okay, here we go again. Dude
was wrong and for assuming that he doesn't want to
go up, his insurance policy premias go up, so he
left that out. Then she says, here's the big issue
I had with all this. If the roles were reversed,
I could never assume I'm staying at his house.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
So oh whoa, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
So now you're dating a guy and you said, if
the roles were reversed, I could never assume I'm staying
at his house. My question is, and you know this exactly,
and you know this, and then he wouldn't let me
drive his BMW for a week. Wait a minute, and
(10:08):
you know this, and he wouldn't even offer to drop
me at work and pick me up. Wait a minute,
and you know this, What the hell are you dating
this dude? For you dating a dude who won't go
out of his way for you?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
At all, and you know this.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
So after he had discussion, I left him at the
house and went to dinner with my coworker. Later that night,
he broke up with me, and I was stunned. Am
I wrong for having such high standards? Wait a minute,
I'm sorry, your standards aren't high enough.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Excuse me? Why are you stunned?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Here's a dude that would not offer to let you
stay at his house if your car broke down. Here's
a dude who would not let you drive his car
if your car broke down. And here's a dude who
won't pick you up and drop you off at work
if your car broke down.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Now you stunned because you broke up? What? I was
stunned that she was stunned? Right, I'm stunned that this
is who you dating.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yeah, knowing all that you know about this young man,
you're still in it. Here's y'all's problem. This must not
be a serious relationship. It can't be. And the two
of you don't have a clear definition of what you are.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Because if this is.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Your man and you are his woman, all these stuff
y'all having problem with in this letter seemed to me
would be automatic. If this is my woman, Why would
I have a problem with her staying in my house
for a week? If this is your man, why would
you have a problem with him staying at your house
this week? But the real problem is he assumed some
(12:03):
things about you, and you know some things about him.
He assumes teacher to stay with you, drive your car,
and you pick him up and take him work. You
know you couldn't stay with him. You can't drive his
car and he's going to pick you up and drop
you off. We don't have a match here because we
(12:27):
don't have a relationship. So you went out to dinner
with your girlfriend, You came back and you find out
he tell you he breaking up with me because you're
not a team player. Well, the problem is, ain't either
one of y'all team players, right team? So what we're
talking about him? You're not a team player. He's not
(12:47):
a team player. Don't neither one of y'all. This ain't
a team y'all got.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Y'all ain't even got.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
A team, So I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
No, you ain't got nothing here.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Of the keep it moving, hell, y'all, Why y'all seeing
each other? It's ragney, right, relationship y'all got, and you
stunned because he broke up. Hell now he's stunned because
you won't let him stay with it. But he was
wrong for assuming and should at least ask a woman
give her the courtesy. Yeah, but then the reason you
(13:20):
really ain't got no rental carse.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
You ain't want your premiums up? Okay, red flat, definitely
a rag Fred flag.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's my right, lady, y'all needed you need to say
good riddance to this and go on about your business.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
All right, You're right, Steve, Thank you. Post your comments
on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram
and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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