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April 18, 2025 13 mins

The Strawberry Letter for Friday, April 18th, 2025: "He Needs Some Friends"

A woman writes in because her husband has gone into a depression ever since their 19-year-old son moved out. She's worried that he has been so attached to his son, he's lost contact with all of his friends.

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you
need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, are more. Please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
All you have to.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Do is click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now. Never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephew. Subject he needs some friends. Dear Stephen Shirley,
My husband and I are in our late forties and
we've been married for twenty years. We have one son
that was active in sports and he worked with my
husband helping to build his trucking business. Our son is
nineteen years old and he recently left the nest and
moved out two hours. Moved about two hours from us

(00:49):
to be closer to school. He decided to change his
major and transferred to a better school for his degree program,
and I was ecstatic. My husband tried to make him
stay closer home, and I had to talk some sense
in to him so our son could pursue his dreams
as soon as my son moved into his new place
in his new city, my husband went into a depressed mood,

(01:11):
and I did my best to keep him company and
entertain him as much as I could. I realized that
my husband does not have real friends. He has guys
that work with him and my son. He stopped talking
to his buddies while he was getting his business going,
so they eventually stopped coming around. All he did was
go to our son's games, go out to eat with

(01:33):
our son, work with our son, and watch movies with
our son. It's hard for my husband to sit home
and relax without trying to FaceTime our son. My son
sent me a text telling me that he was moving
in with his girlfriend and he's hoping his dad will
reconnect with his friends so he won't call him so much.
I didn't tell my husband about the text because I

(01:54):
didn't want to crush him. Yesterday, he said that we
should go visit my son for Easter, and I made
up a lot of excuses why we shouldn't. The only
thing that keeps him occupied is sex, but I'm not
going to keep doing that all the time, so he
needs his friends. Should I plan a playdate for him?
How do I get him out of this house more.

(02:15):
You're certainly right about one thing, and that's the subject
of your letter. The subject is he needs some friends,
and your husband really really does need some friends. I mean,
I'm happy that your husband and son are really, really close,
but this is way too much. I mean, your son
moved away to you know, live his life and follow

(02:36):
his dreams. And you've been an excellent wife who's tried
to fill in the blanks of the void in your
husband's you know, feeling. But no matter what you do,
that isn't enough. And you, guys, you and your son
obviously can't go on like this because your son has
a real girlfriend now and he won't be coming back
or having you guys over anytime soon. I mean, notice

(02:59):
your son didn't you guys over for Easter. Your husband
that you're going, I say, instead of planning a date,
because you asked about planning a playdate for your husband,
Plan a party, plan a dinner. Invite some of his
old friends that he used to work with and some
of you know, some of his old buddies. I mean,
he has some from the past. Maybe invite them over

(03:21):
see if they'll come. You got to find out what
they're doing and bite some other couples over. Try to connect,
try to you know, get some parties, going a dinner,
going something, you know, so it can distract him from
from being so needy where your son is. I've really
never heard of this before, a father being so attached

(03:44):
to a son that he won't let go like this.
I mean, all kids leave the nest eventually, but if
you have a dinner party or a house party or something,
you know, maybe that way you can slowly get your
husband to start hanging out with his guy friends or
some people his aide at least. And that's all I have.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Steve, Well, he needs some friends. See this letter right here.
I don't have to like write a lot of notes
on this. I know all of this right here. You know,
y'all in your late forty's been married twenty years. You
only got one son active in sports, and he worked
with your husband. See I'm setting this up because I
want you to understand what's happening, helping to build his

(04:25):
trucking business. Okay, our son is nineteen years old, and
he recently left the nest and moved about.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Two hours from us to be closer to school.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
He decided to change his major and transfer to a
better school for his degree program, and I was ecstatic. Well,
let me help you understand. So your son escaped. See
your son escaped. That's really what happens is boy nineteen
decided he wouldn't be no truck driver.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
I don't want to drive no trucks. I don't want
to pick up no load.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
I don't want to be sitting there at the dispatch desk,
monitor load's and all this here. This ain't what I want, daddy.
So now I'm going two hours away. I'm gonna move closer,
and I'm gonna change major. I'm gonna go to a
whole nother school. I'm trying to escape. My husband tried
to make him stay closer to home, and I had

(05:18):
to talk some sensing to him so our son could
pursue his dreams. Okay, I understand that too, But you
gotta let this boy go. He don't want to be
in the truck and business want to drive no truck.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Send him here, haul and stuff, so over it. This
is your dream, daddy.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
As soon as my son moved into his new place
in the new city, my husband went into a depressed mood.
And I did my best to keep him company and
entertainment as much as I could.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
I realized that my husband does not have any real friends.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Well, your husband's whose life was tied to his son,
sporting events, active and all like that. He gave him purpose.
It's like when you leave a mama. But the problem
we have, and sureley you never heard of is you've
all heard of mama's boy, But this is a daddy's boy.
But it's the reverse of mama's boy. Mama boys is
a boy that's attached today mama and attached by the

(06:16):
apron strings and a biblical cord and can't get him loose,
and he can't have a relationship with a woman because
his relationship with him Mamma tude clothes.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Well, a daddy's boy is the direct opposite.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
It's a father tied to his son and he can't
function without the son, the son that decided I'm not
driving no truck.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Hold on, Steve, hold on, I'm moving out.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Part two.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject of today's
Strawberry letter he needs some friends. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
There's a recent zip recruiter survey that says seven six

(07:00):
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dot com. Slash Strawberry at ZipRecruiter dot com slash strawberry.

(07:25):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is he needs some friends.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Well, let's look at this.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
This is this woman and husband to been married for
twenty years, only got one boy. A demand's whole life
was wrapped around his son, sport and events, everything and
his dreaming vision was have his son involved in the
trucking business.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
They were building the business together.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
As soon as this boy got nineteen and was able
to make a decision, vote and go to war, he
decided that he gonna move bout two miles away from
y'all because he tied it his. Because they don't want
to be any trucking business. Your boy don't want to
drive trucks. He got a new dream and a new vision,
got another degree programmed.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
The mother was ecstatic.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
Your husband tried to make him stay and talk some
sense and to him so his son could pursue his dream. Well,
when the son moved into his new place in the
new city, your husband went into a depression. And I
kept trying to keep him company and entertaining best you could.
And then you realize that your husband don't have real friends.
What should have realized? That your husband is a daddy's boy, see,

(08:30):
a daddy's boy. See you got a mama's boy, but
you got daddy's boy too. That's when the father is
attached to the son. He had his whole life wrapped
around the boy. He was living vicariously through the son.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
That's really a thing, Steve, No.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
I just made that up. Just now, okay, okay, Like
is that really a thing?

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I mean, you know, well, it's very very rare, it's
very rare, but it is the direct opposite of a
mama's boy, but a daddy's boy. There are men who
are live vicariously through their sons, go to all sporting
events and all like this.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
And their whole life.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
And then a lot of sons move out and get
on their own and their dad become depressed. That's really
really I don't know if it's called the Daddy's Boy,
but that's what we're calling it for this letter. But
I know some guys know a couple of friends of
mine that lived their life like that. Sons really involved
in athletics, went on to college and everything and everything,
and he didn't he didn't go pro and that not
that out because that's all he was had his whole

(09:24):
that was his retirement playing.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
So anyway, and so.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Now while he was building a business with his son,
he was he was getting his business going there. All
his friends stopped coming around because he was busy. All
he did was go to your son's games, go to
eat with your son, work out with your son, watch
movies with our son's half, and my husband sit home
relaxed without trying to face time our son who lives away.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Now here's a dangerous part watch this.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
My son sent me a text telling me that he
was moving in with his girlfriend and he's hoping his
dad will reconnect with his friends so he won't call
him so much.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, let me take what's happening here? That boy the
movie in with this girl, and boy the mood in
with this girl. That daddy always facetiming.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Daddy gonna FaceTime as some inappropriate moments because it's born
nineteen day in that house like rabbits, most of the
time they're gonna be doing something and your daddy gonna
be facetiming. Then boy can't pick the phone, daddy. Huh No,
that hold on that.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
Set, you see.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
Now, he'd have told his mama, you got to talk
to daddy getting reconnected, so he ain't got to call
me the month. Now, you didn't want to tell your
husband about to text because you didn't want to crush
you crush him.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah, but we hear girl's man.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
He hey, look you're calling him too much. He want
to live his life. He'd have moved his girl in now.
He in love with this girl.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Now. Yesterday he said he wanna go visit his son
for Easter. What kill someone?

Speaker 3 (11:05):
I ain't got no babies. You ain't going to see
your grandkids. Your son nineteen, he ain't even gonna come
home for Easter.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Him and that girl.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Let me tell you what they finish do on Easter,
she finna dress up like a bunnet rabbit, and he's
fim to hide eggs all over the house and they
gonna have an Easter egg Honey. Every time she pick
up an egg, he gonna reward her with this special
made bunnet suit.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
See that what they finisha do on Easter. They ain't
even gonna eat on Easter they had egg.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
They just gonna have a basket with candy in it.
They're gonna be feeding each other. Boyd he finish had
the best Easter he ever had without showing daddy Daddy's boy. Yeah,
and then she gonna talk about so you made up
a lot of excuses why we shouldn't go, and the
only thing that keeps them occupied a sick But I'm
not gonna keep doing that all the time.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
So he needs his friends. Should I play a playdate
for him? How do him? How do I get him
out of the house more? You have to play a playdate?

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Yeah, you got to contact his friends and go, hey, look, Herbert,
he ain't been paying y'all no attention because he be
He really misses y'all and want to get out the house.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Now.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
We need a barbecue, We need a card night poker.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
We need a boy's night out. When do y'all go
to the strip club.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
But you got to get Herbert out of this house
and get his mind occupied.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
That's right, he needs some friends. You got to call
his friends and get in touch with him.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Tell them that he's depressed and he need to get
out the house and let him go ahead.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
The god is you got to go bowling. So go
bowling night man.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Go get you in a go go to the gym
and work out with your friend.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Go what go to a game?

Speaker 1 (12:55):
A basketball game?

Speaker 3 (12:56):
N Then he gonna start crying Sheerley because he used
to go with all his games with his me. Do this,
sure they stop. They don't live in the NBA city.
This ain't from no NBA city town. It did not
say they live in willow Wine, Virginia, somewhere like that.

(13:16):
This is nobody. Nobody writing in from Atlanta, New York
and nothing like this. This ain't no New York problem.
This is a small town problem where a man got
his life wrapped.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Around his son. This is a small town problem.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
All right. Hit us up on Instagram at Steve Harvey
f M to comment on today's Strawberry Letter. You can
also check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're
listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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