Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
And if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
It could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
You never know, you never know. Buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it. Fight you here. It is Scrawberry.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Letter subject, What's the rush?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Dear Stephen Shirley.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I've been with the same man for eleven years, and
he asked me to marry him four years ago. Now,
all of a sudden, he wants to set a wedding date,
but I do not want to. I met him in college,
and I thought we were destined to have a great
love story. I was twenty and he was twenty two,
and our chemistry was amazing. When I was twenty two,
(00:52):
I got pregnant and we moved in together. I got
a job while he got his master's degree, and he
told me he finished his degree, he was going to
make me his wife. On his graduation night. I got
pregnant again. He got a really good job, and I
started teaching school. I fell in love with my job
(01:13):
and raising our children, so I didn't really realize that
I was playing house and this man did not plan
to marry me. I went to stay with my mother
for a while so I could clear my head. He
begged me to come back home and he promised that
he was about to propose. Years passed by and he didn't.
His father overheard us fussing one day and he advised
(01:35):
his son to either marry me or let me go.
A few weeks later, he asked me to be his wife.
That was four years ago, and I was ready to
do it right then he kept stalling and asking me
what's the rush by? And moved past it now for
the marriage and I don't want him anymore. I don't
(01:57):
even wear my ring and he hasn't noticed. He invited
my mother over last weekend to talk about wedding dates
and I was checked out of the conversation. When my
mother left, I asked him, what's the rush? He hasn't
spoken to me in over a week because of my attitude?
How can I not be allowed to have an attitude?
(02:17):
Should I give the ring back or move on? Or
should I marry an old friend and baby day that
I don't love anymore.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Please don't do that if that's the truth.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I mean, why would you marry someone that you don't
love anymore? That makes about as much sense as him
walking around for more than a week not talking to
you because you said to him, what's the rush? The
man is too immature for you. I think you have
to let him, you know. I kind of blame it
on you a little bit because you've let him get
(02:50):
away with too much stuff in this relationship. He's not
kept his word on anything. And where does he think
you got what's the rush from? You got it from
he said it to you first, I mean, to the
real red flag. And it's a glimpse into what marriage
might be like with this man. I mean, this entire
letter is about your lives together. Since you were twenty
(03:12):
and twenty two years old, the main thing you wanted
was to marry this man. He kept putting it off
because there was no incentive to marry you. You already
had the babies early on, you were living together. He
had what he wanted right there without the benefit of marriage,
and now he sees you've changed, so he's trying to
step up.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
But it's too late. You're over it. You say it,
at least the marriage part.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I mean. The sad thing is, you guys do have
two children, so you have to talk to each other.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
You got to communicate.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
I mean, I think this fairy tale you have, of
this great love story you want it, I think that's over.
The reality is eleven years later, you're miserable, you're ready
to walk, and you're writing us. I say, go in peace,
knowing that you died the bullet from not marrying this guy.
After all these years, I think you should get your
child support and move on. When you do fall in
(04:06):
love again with the right man the next time. When
he proposed a set of date, start planning immediately. Okay,
don't waste time, Steve.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I'm gonna in two and a half minutes, this is
what i'm gonna do. And then the second half I'm
gonna show you how this works. I'm gonna show you
about thirteen questionable statements in this letter. He asked me
to marry him four years ago. That's one, he want
to set a wedding date, but I do not. That's two.
When I was twenty two, I got pregnant and we
moved in together. That's three. I got a job while
(04:38):
he got his master's degree and told me as soon
as he finished his degree, he was gonna make me
his wife.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
That's four. The fifth statement was I fell.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
In love with my job and raising our children, so
I didn't realize I was playing house and this man
did not plan to marry me.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
That's five. The next statement was I.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Tried and wanted to clear my head, so I went
to stay with my mama, me to come back. And
now he promised that he was going to about to propose.
That's six years go buy and his father overheard us
fussing one day and he advised his son either.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Married me or let me go.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
That's seven. That was four years ago. A week later,
he asked me to be his wife.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
That's eight.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
That was four years ago, and I was ready to
do it right. Then he kept starting and asking me,
what's the rush.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That's nine.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
I cried and moved past it. Now I'm over the
marriage and I don't want him anymore.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
That's ten. I don't wear my ring and he hasn't notice.
That's eleven.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
He invited his mother over to my mother over last
weekend to discuss wedding dates. I was checked out of
the conversation when my mother left. I asked him what
was the rush? That's twelve. He hasn't spoken to me
in over week because of my attitude? So how can
I not be allowed to have an attitude? Should I
give the ring back and move on? Or should I
marry an old friend and baby daddy that I don't
(05:53):
love anymore? That's thirteen in a one page letter.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
I just read to.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
You, thirteen very questionable statements.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Do this sound like marriage to you?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Not at all?
Speaker 4 (06:11):
If you don't love somebody, I can promise you marriage
is out of the question.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Right because you don't need that mode.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
And money, because I'm telling you, man, money don't keep
a relationship together.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Love can overcome a multitude.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Of sins, but if you ain't in love, it's no
way you can get married and stay married.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
All right, Steve, hang on, we're waiting for part two
of your response, coming on.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I got an drives hours all.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Right, title of this strawberry letter? What's the rush? We'll
find out more when we come back.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Right after this.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
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Speaker 4 (06:59):
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Speaker 2 (07:30):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter,
the subject what's the rush?
Speaker 4 (07:36):
We just went through this letter about all these reasons
that this woman don't need to marry this man. I
gave you thirteen questionable statements.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
At the end of the letter.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
This lady just said, should I marry an old friend
and baby daddy that I don't love anymore? They've been
together for eleven years, and he been lying about getting married, stalling,
putting it all and false promises over and over and
over and over.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
This man.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
You realize, after you had two children and found a
school teaching job you love that this man was just
playing house and did not pretend he ain't even want
to get.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Married, because I've told you all, ladies about this.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
The wedding day may be the day of your dream,
but the man does not have a wedding day as
the day of his dream. We only dream of the
chick of our dream. And if he can get you
without the day, what's to rush? And he just proved
what I've been saying for years, So he has you.
What's to rush?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Ladies?
Speaker 4 (08:33):
This is what I want to do. Call her, surely
let me have you run divided attention. Please, we're going
to do a reenactment. I am gonna be mister what's
to rush? I don't care what you asked me. I'm
gonna find a way not to get married. You can
make it sound as wonderful as you like. Just make
a statement, and I am the person that don't want
(08:55):
to get married, and I will give you reasons why
we can't get You don't have to worry about this
letter Shirley and calling. You can ask me anything you want,
any happy remark about a wedding day, about what your
plans are. You can do anything, and I'll just tell
you why we can't do it.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Ready said here it.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Is, honey, I just got my wedding dress. I'm so excited.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Oh man, that's real nice man. Wedding dresses? Is they
so nice?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
You know?
Speaker 4 (09:24):
But you know, spending all that money for what you
know what I mean a dress?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You ain't got no dresses?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Guess what? My friend is getting married and I just
got her save the date in the mail.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
So exciting.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Wait to go to her wedding.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
That's cool. I can't wait to go to her wed
in neither say that date? So yeah, yeah, let's say
that date. That's beautiful. Man, that's good. I'm with that.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Man mark this day down.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Yeah, I got it her sixteen, Yeah it done, got it,
December sixteenth, Special day.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Okay, when are.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
We gonna go shopping? And what we gonna wear?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Like?
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Oh we can wear all that babe? What baby, babe?
What you want to wear? What are you wear?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Anything?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
You want to separate wearing dress? You know you wear.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Anything you want to Honey, you better not.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I'm pregnant again. Man, as well, make an honest woman
out of me.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Marry me, baby, baby. One of their main characteristics that
I love about you is your honesty. I don't you
know you've been honest with me the whole time with
how you are. That's the beautiful thing. But you're already
an honest person. Man, you need all that to prove
to somebody you an honest woman.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
You know you've already had the baby.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
You don't done all the tricky stuff anyway, anybody seem
to believe you honestly. You know, you know you can
set up here and done all this here and now
you want somebody to believe you honest, you know, like
you honest what you know we'd have done to due
now you know, baby coming, everybody know you and all
that honestly, you know me, you know, you.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Know you know. But let's seal the deal.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Let's seal the deal. Seeing it that right there? See
that sounds like stealing you. You don't be talking and
talking to Lord about stuff like that. You know we're
gonna seal the deal. Yess what.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
That's why I love the church I go to, you know,
because they try to keep us seeing free.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Now we've done already, been in sining, been made, you know,
have come you know, you know, cobotulating and all this before. Man,
Now all of a sudden, you know you gonna go
seal the deal. You know, just like go to hell.
You know, it don't make no sense.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Calling all right, So we've been talking all this stuff
about wedding.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
When are we gonna set our day? Because I have
some dates in mind?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
So do you want a summer wedding, Christmas winter wedding?
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Yeah? I was thinking more like a leap year wedding.
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I want to wait that lot.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
But see that'd be good.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Then, you know, could you give us time to plan
and everything like that? So that's the date I'm looking
forward to next time we have leap yet he'll go ahead.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Well, honey, I talked to the pastor and he said
he's ready. All we have to do is get back
with him and let him know when we're ready. So
he's he's set to officiate our ceremony, and I'm just
so excited.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Well that's all good, But I just changed churches last week. Yeah,
so we don't even go there no more. That ain't
even my pastor no more. So we gotta line. We
got to get on this new past this list. Go ahead, Yeah,
we gotta start this process over bagans. We don't even
go there no more.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
You want to go to Vegas.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
We can just go to Vegas. Get hell.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Yeah, I want to go to Vegas, many Vegas. But
you know what they say, what happens in Vegas stays
in Vegas. So ain't no need us trying to come
back with no happy news.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Honey, honey, I'm so happy. Dad was ill, you know,
he was sick, but he's better now. And he said
he will wave you down the aisle.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
He's ready. Yeah, he's gonna walk me down.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
My dad, My dad, Dad, he's no longer sick, he's well.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
You think I'm gonna be standing up there and watch
something happen to him on his way down.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
IM I can do that.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey
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Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.