February 21, 2025 • 20 mins
On today's episode of Relationship Talk Thursday, the Glenns discuss how to leverage your differences as strengths. The conversation focuses on moving from a "me versus you" mentality to finding common ground and understanding the expectations for working together in your marriage or relationship.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Inspiration thirteen ninety music of Power and Praise.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's Sonia Blaky.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's February, Love Month, the perfect month to bring back
relationship Talk Thursday. Man, this is our third weekend and
it's been phenomenal.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
The response has been incredible.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
And Pastor Jamone and Pastor Erica, how y'all feeling about
relationship talk Thursday?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You get a good response? Yes, I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
So happy. So thank you so much for that.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Thank you creating space for us to talk about relationships,
families and healthy marriages.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
It's been a blast. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:32):
Well, you guys got the content, right, You got the content,
you're bringing it and so you know, these segments have
been focused on your book, Power Couples, and we want
to continue that at least through the month of February.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
So today we want to talk about leveraging your differences
as strengths you said we have. We need to move
from the me versus you to we versus It's right.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
We're on the same team.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, we are not against each other's We're on the.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Set and whatever is coming against us is coming against us.
As I said in one of the earliest segments, this month.
You know, even if you have to physically change your
position and your posture so you can paint a picture
that this thing is coming at our marriage. Well, the
thing between us, it's a thing with us against it.
(01:21):
So we stay on the same side and we approach
or attack the intruder into our marriage, our love, our relationship,
and we deal with it as such. We are on
the same team. It's not me, it's not you, it's we,
and it's it.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Yeah, And I think that couples don't realize that. And
when you brought that out that it was so important
to realize that if we're dealing with whatever it is,
if it's if it's uh, you know, finances, and you
might be the person that is manifesting that we are
not doing. You are the vessel, and I need to
(01:58):
switch you from being the vessel and to bring you
back on this side and tell you, Okay, you brought
this in our relationship or right here, but right now,
sins is here is not you that I'm looking at.
I'm looking at it because it's coming for us. And
that's what we have to take our focus off of
each other and put each other on the same team.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
We're the same nation. We're the same team.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
And if we're the same team, then we're fighting against
it together and not you fighting me, right.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
And I think we have to get back to biblical
roles and identity in term of marriage versus cultural identities.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Right.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
So God has an idea about what the role and
the responsibility of a man is a leader, to be
a priest, a provider or protector, and then a woman
is to be tech to be a helper, the nurturer,
the developer. She is that that has that ability to
ten times you put her extra my life.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
She's a multiplier.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Whatever you give to a woman, she's going to multiply
and give her anything.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
That you don't want multiply. Right.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
A man that has the seed, he's the progenitor, so
he's the source comes from him. And I think we
get biblical ideas around that and lot back into that,
then we don't embrace these cultural identities that said.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Because you're a man, you gotta do this, that and
the other.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I mean, I think that that you you want to
lock into your marriage about what is it that you
have expectations about, communicate them clearly? What I have expectations about,
communicating clearly My wife wanted her expectations, which you once
I put in the cabbage can, I ain't taking it out.
That's her expectation. So you know, I got two sons.
(03:37):
They take out the trash because my whole life I
had to take out the trash. I ain't get maried
to take out the trash. Ain't gonna be So so
we go into those ideas, and we need to learn
what your expectation is of this marriage so I can
meet and exceed that expectation.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Are you always learning each other's expectations. Expectations change over time.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Yes, expectations changed because your life changes exactly. So for instance,
I was I was working, I was a principal, I
was a teacher, and so my day started early in
the morning and it ended late at night. I mean
not late at night, but in the in the evening.
So my husband had to take our daughter to daycare,
so he had to sit and he had to do
(04:15):
her hair and all that other kind of stuff you
don't want you.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Know, the whole memoir about it.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Lessons I learned from my daughter because she taught me
something every day that was so.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Yes, your roles and your expectation changes, so That means
that his expectation for me changed because I was working
outside of the house. Now that I'm gonna stay at home,
there's a there's a difference expectation than.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
It was when I was working a nine to five.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
So all of these If your expectations aren't changing, then
I would really yeah, and your marriage is stagnant.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
And you are evolving. That's why we said keep dating.
In the other segment the other week, we said keep
dating because I want to know where where are you now?
What do you care about? Now?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
What's important to you?
Speaker 4 (04:59):
Now?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
This is your relationship of evolution.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Man, if I can't evolve with my spouse, then I'm trapped.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I'm locked.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I'm locked in And this this is the this is
my last first kiss, this my this is the last
person I want to sleep with. So we gotta we
gotta evolve the last What you like, what you like
now that you didn't like at first, Let's have something else.
Don't you like no more? What you care about? What's
what's important to you? This is how we grow. And
now we've all right, we're gonna come back with the glens.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
We're talking about leveraging your differences as strengths and if
you missed any of the conversation, you can always go
back follow us on Facebook, Instagram.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Here with the Glens are gonna come.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Back and talk about using your differences to achieve shared goals.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Also, we welcome your questions.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I know y'all thinking like man, I wish I could
ask them this.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Eight y five nine nine, thirteen ninety. It is Relationship
Talk Thursday.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's Sonya with Pastor Jamone Glenn and Pastor Erica Glenn
of New Life, and we're talking about leveraging your strengths,
leveraging your differences as strengths.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
And you know marriage could be fun, right, we want
to you know, you.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Know we I know we deep up in here, but
we also there's there's fun, there's advantages of being married,
and we're talking about, you know, the differences. Your differences
can be advantageous as it relates to your relationship. So
let's talk about that your difference is to achieve shared goals.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I think what's the goal? First, right, I think.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
What's the goal?
Speaker 5 (06:20):
And I think, you know, kind of bounce it off
what you're saying that your mariage should be fun and
it is, and so like when we go on vacation,
my husband always stretches me to do these uh these excursions,
and our kids are always like, mom did that, Mom
did that?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
And I just is like, no, your.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Mother did not do that. My wife did it on vacation.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
She's my wife and she's your mother when she's with you,
but when she's with me, she a whole nother woman
because she's my wife.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
And I think that people they forget that there's something
in their spouse that they love, that they pulled out
of them that they don't naturally do. And I think
they don't they don't embrace tho that difference. So, yes,
he's adventurous, and he you know, he he he's jumped
out of a plane, all of that adventure inside of him.
And there's a little bit of me that really likes
(07:09):
saying I like you, you're good, you always killing But
I wouldn't do it by myself. I wouldn't And so
his adventurons causes me to pull something out of me
that most people would know is there.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So it is a major difference, but it is also something.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
That I desire, which I was like bigger in but
he pulls it out of me.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
And I'm the planner in the relationship. So if I
go to her thinking that she gonna plan it, I'm
gonna be frustrated. I'm the planner. But once I plan
it and set the course, she makes it special. She
does little things like we got treats, and she organized
the process, and how it feels on the way, and
the stuff that's happening that I wouldn't even think about.
I like, I picked the hotel, I picked the flight.
(07:53):
I mean, she get on a plane and don't even
know where we go, maybe asking her where we're going,
like I don't know, I don't know where we're there.
What you mean you're gonna make it? You don't know shit?
Because he like it a certain kind of ways. So
I don't even have to worry about how it's gonna
be when I get there, because it's gonna be. And
in the same way that she doesn't know anything about
that if I forgot something or miss something, although I
(08:15):
fuss about all the bags that she carry on the plane,
if I reach in one of the bags, everything I
could have thought of is in that bag.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
She makes that.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
She has a way of making the moment special, and
I have a way of making sure we get to
the moment. That's an opportunity to leverage our differences instead
of well, why you don't never plan it?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Why? Well, then the one time when I did encourage
her to planet.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
And make sure, and I made sure I never planned
it again.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I tried my.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Very best to enjoy it, to like it, to think
it was wonderful. But it just wasn't wonderful. It wasn't
her foretee. And then I switched it up and she said,
you ain't gotta worry, I ain't never do it again.
I was like, you know what, that's my bag because
I try to do. I try to give you what
I know is my role to do. And my family
we always say everybody got a roll, everybody got a responsibility.
So find out what your role and responsibility is in
(09:04):
your marriage and then lean on.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
That will be mad about it.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
If you know you pay all the bills, and you
know you make the money, but you spend it up.
You know who better with the money, who got the
better credit card? It'll tell you who manages the most,
who got something at the end of the month. Quit
thinking because you the man that means you're supposed to
manage the money, y'all will be broke. Like if you
don't know what you're doing with the money, don't And
then woman of God, if you know you got the
shopping spirit and you love shopping, you spend everything put
(09:29):
in your hand, don't think you the person that do that. Like,
find your role and embrace your role so that the
couple wins, not just you.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
How do you, I mean, how do you own up
to those different those differences?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Because folks, some folks they overlook them, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
They don't overlook them. They it's an area of tension
and conflict. And then they only argue about it exactly
and they don't they don't.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
Never say they don't put nothing there, don't put there's
nothing on top of that, they don't have the evan.
If I know that I'm not good with money, why
am I just because I'm the man or necessarily i'm
the woman and that's what I saw.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
That doesn't mean that that's what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
And I think pride, pride is in there when you were,
when you when you're married, you.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Ten times yourself. So yes, I could do this, I
could pay my bill. I could, Yes, you could, but
is that your strength?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
You got married to be able to have strength to
do more things together than you get separate.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
So just because you can do it doesn't mean that
you should do it.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
It's what in this in this stage of our lives,
we only doing the stuff that we really enjoy loving
to do, and we got the power, we got the strength,
we got the talent and the annoyingty and we see results.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's what we're doing and we're not being prideful.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah, because we don't.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
It slows us down as a unit, so they the
evidence is usually in the tension, so it ends up
being a pain point that you always fussing and arguing about.
But then you never put any parameters in place to
fix it. You only, when it happens, make it a
big deal, But you don't say, well, who is better
at what? And should we be doing this differently? And
(11:08):
that's what I mean by embracing biblical roles and gender roles.
My wife can cook, She cooks amazing. Her food is excellent.
We love her cooking. But sometimes I like to cook,
and my kids enjoy my and the day to day stuff.
When I as a as an exercise of relationship. I'll
cook with my children as a point of doing finding
another thing to do with them. It doesn't diminute. She
(11:31):
could care less. She could care less appreciated, and I
know how to wash dishes, but not her standards.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
So sometimes so when I cook, When I cook, I.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Just walk out the kitchen, and she gonna clean up
the kitchen because she like you cook, I'm gona clean
up the kitchen because even if I cleaned up the kitchen,
she's gonna go back and clean up. So she like,
that's what she's going. Yeah, so we understand what we do,
and then we embrass buy the groceries. She go to
the grocery store. She like going to the gross store.
I don't like going to the grocery store. I'll pay
(12:04):
for all the groceries. She go get it, she bring
it home, lay it all out, I'll cook it. When
I finish cooking, we'll sit down and eat it. Then
she'll clean up. Send everybody away.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
It works right.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
They don't fuss about cultural gender problems. We just embraced
the We're gonna come back with the glens. This relationship talk.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
There's got a question how to avoid feeling opposite or
against each other. That question is coming through on Relationship
Talk Thursday. Hi, thank you so much for calling. Good
to hear from you today. It's Relationship Talk Thursday here
with the pastors Dimone and Erica Glenn, and we're talking
about leveraging leveraging your differences as strengths.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
What's your question? My question is how do you avoid
feeling against each other?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
How do you avoid feeling against each other?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
They're your feelings, Yeah, you're responsible for your feeling, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
And I think that you need to I think that
you need to acknowledge the fact that you could be
opposite and there's nothing wrong with being opposite. And I
think sometimes people in marriages feel like they have to
think like their spouse in a sense maybe doing something,
But you don't have to think like your spouse in
regards to how you feel about something. Like to me,
(13:21):
that's the beauty of marriage is having a different perspective
or having a different lens, And when the both of
you are together, you can see different vantage points based
upon where you are and your lenses. But if you
don't appreciate the differences, then you're not really getting the
beautiful things. I think that God wants you to be
able to see inside of your relationship.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Yeah, and the book Power Couples, we talk about disagree
on the how, not the what, and not the why. Right,
there's more than one way to do anything. So if
we know what we're trying to do, why we're trying
to do it, disagree on the how.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It's small. It's more than one way.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
To get from here, the Jewels on eighty seventh Street,
on Stoney Island. It's more than one way to get
to anywhere in Chicago, especially Chicago, got multiple ways to
get every place. What you're dealing with is preferences. So
disagree on the how because it doesn't make one way
or the other way wrong. But agree on the what,
agree on the why, and then know that you're never
(14:21):
against each other. Keep the main thing, the main thing,
keep the big picture out front so that you if
let's agree on raising these children, let's agree on staying together,
let's agree on getting out of debt, let's agree on
buying a house. Let's agree on keeping other people out
of our relationship. Now how we go about that? What
do you think and what do you think? Because you
might have a different perspective. Don't ever be against the
(14:43):
person that you're supposed to be building.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
A life with.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Is it good for you? So good? Thank you so much,
thank you for calling.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Thanks calling.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Hey, you called right on time. It's relationship.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
On Thursday, Inspiration thirteen to ninety here with Pastor Jimone
and Pastor Erica Glenn.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You got a question for.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
The team I do. My question is how do you
celebrate experience rather criticized differences?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
I would say to me, I would say the first
thing is to make sure that when you are getting
ready to criticize somebody that you think, instead of criticizing,
like do the work of trying to find something that
they're good at and something that you want to highlight
versus just going for the oki.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Though just going for the first thing.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
I think you need to that's good. I think you
need to create a culture of celebration. Right when you're
in a grind so much and you're so much after it,
you don't pause to say thank you.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
You're doing a good job.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
But even if it's your responsibility, you know, sometimes men
often feel taken for granted because you're the priest, because
you provide it, because you pay the bills because you
handle the business. Ladies just say now, that's what you're
supposed to do. But it doesn't mean that you still
don't want to feel celebrated.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
You know, say thank you sometimes, Yeah I open the
door for you because I'm a gentleman, But say thank you.
Yeah I paid the bill because we sat out and ate,
But say thank you. Yeah you click the lights on
and they came on, But say thank you, you know,
because we should have a culture of a celebration, appreciation
and vice versa. You know, even the things that your
woman does for you. If you create a culture of celebration,
(16:21):
then when you have to criticize or be critical about something,
it goes down a little better because you're not only
highlighting the negative, you're also pointing out the process.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Yeah, and I think that people forget that they have
to make a reservoir of gratitude. Of gratitude, especially when
you know that you're going to have to come in
and criticize somebody about something. So it's like, you know,
they told us as teachers. You know, if you if
the only time you spoke to this student is when
you're trying to correct them, they're going to be rebellious
(16:53):
towards you.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
But if you say good morning, and if you say, oh, you.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Know that I like your outfit, when you have to
come and you know that you're going to have to
come to say something, that's going to be hard for them.
They're gonna look at you a little bit differently because
they're going to realize that you didn't only talk to
me when something was wrong.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
That's good, that's good.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Yeah, create a culture celebration so criticism is more easily accepted.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Was that good for you.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
That?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Thank you for calling and listening?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Have a bus take?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
That was good you guys, What a way to close that.
What a great way to close out the show today
with that particular call, because we're talking about leveraging your
differences as strengths.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Any final thoughts from each of you.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Yeah, I just think that people are always more critical
than they are celebratory because we end up taking for granted,
and the longer you are married, the more you end
up taking for granted the things your spouse does. And
no one wants to feel like they're being taken for granted.
So even if I'm doing my responsibility, keeping up to
(17:55):
my end of the bark following after what God's plan
is for me as a husband. It doesn't mean I
want to be I don't want to be celebrated and
appreciated by the one.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm doing it for.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
And I think parents ought so should teach their children
to appreciate and celebrate your spouse. So let it be
a culture in the house.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
He got. You know, my kids.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Say, well, how do you buy the man something that
got everything he wants? But I always tell him it's
not what you buy, it's the effort.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It's the thought.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
It's the intention that you put into it that makes
me feel appreciative. I don't need anything, but when I
see you made an effort instead of being like you
got everything, forget it, then I can appreciate that. My
wife teaches my family that, and I teach my family that,
let celebrate and appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
That's eric you want to close it up.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
I think that in this segment, I think to do
some like self evaluation. And what I mean by that
is just really knowing what you bring to the table,
know your strengths and then don't be afraid to share
them in your marriage. And I think sometimes we put
our lives. Our marriage is on autopilot, and we don't
(19:03):
embrace maybe a new strength or something that I've gained
inside of my marriage because your partner, your your spouse,
you know, they're iron and you're iron, and iron is
sharpening iron. So the person that you were ten years ago,
you're not really that person anymore. And the person that
you was five years ago, you're really not that person.
So what what a strength are you bringing to the
(19:24):
relationship now that may not have been so strong before,
And just kind of making sure that you're looking that
inside of your relationship and not just you know, I
know my person, I know I know my spouse. Like, no,
they're a living human being. What exactly are they interested now?
What are some of their strengths that they have now
and they're making that to be a part of your relationship.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I like how you all finished each other's words, each
other's sentences.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I just say, all right, you're gonna let us.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Know how we can follow you guys, find you get
some more of this wisdom.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Hey, Jerome Glenn dot com is all the books, all
the conferences, all the conversations that we're doing to help
empower marriages.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Particularly on our YouTube page.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
If you want to watch this, we are videotaping it
so you can see it and hear it.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
My wife, Lady Erica Glenn is on all the platforms.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
We're just out here trying to advance God's call in
kingdom relationships and just really making sure that you have
healthy marriage, healthy relationships.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So you can build a lost of legacy. Yo. It's important.
It's God's original idea.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Its good.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Thank you all so much. Relationship back theresay, We'll be
back next week.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Be with us.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Sign you
Inspiration thirteen ninety music of Power and Praise.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's Sonia Blaky.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's February, Love Month, the perfect month to bring back
relationship Talk Thursday. Man, this is our third weekend and
it's been phenomenal.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
The response has been incredible.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
And Pastor Jamone and Pastor Erica, how y'all feeling about
relationship talk Thursday?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You get a good response? Yes, I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
So happy. So thank you so much for that.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Thank you creating space for us to talk about relationships,
families and healthy marriages.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
It's been a blast. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:32):
Well, you guys got the content, right, You got the content,
you're bringing it and so you know, these segments have
been focused on your book, Power Couples, and we want
to continue that at least through the month of February.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
So today we want to talk about leveraging your differences
as strengths you said we have. We need to move
from the me versus you to we versus It's right.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
We're on the same team.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, we are not against each other's We're on the.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Set and whatever is coming against us is coming against us.
As I said in one of the earliest segments, this month.
You know, even if you have to physically change your
position and your posture so you can paint a picture
that this thing is coming at our marriage. Well, the
thing between us, it's a thing with us against it.
(01:21):
So we stay on the same side and we approach
or attack the intruder into our marriage, our love, our relationship,
and we deal with it as such. We are on
the same team. It's not me, it's not you, it's we,
and it's it.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Yeah, And I think that couples don't realize that. And
when you brought that out that it was so important
to realize that if we're dealing with whatever it is,
if it's if it's uh, you know, finances, and you
might be the person that is manifesting that we are
not doing. You are the vessel, and I need to
(01:58):
switch you from being the vessel and to bring you
back on this side and tell you, Okay, you brought
this in our relationship or right here, but right now,
sins is here is not you that I'm looking at.
I'm looking at it because it's coming for us. And
that's what we have to take our focus off of
each other and put each other on the same team.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
We're the same nation. We're the same team.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
And if we're the same team, then we're fighting against
it together and not you fighting me, right.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
And I think we have to get back to biblical
roles and identity in term of marriage versus cultural identities.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Right.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
So God has an idea about what the role and
the responsibility of a man is a leader, to be
a priest, a provider or protector, and then a woman
is to be tech to be a helper, the nurturer,
the developer. She is that that has that ability to
ten times you put her extra my life.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
She's a multiplier.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Whatever you give to a woman, she's going to multiply
and give her anything.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
That you don't want multiply. Right.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
A man that has the seed, he's the progenitor, so
he's the source comes from him. And I think we
get biblical ideas around that and lot back into that,
then we don't embrace these cultural identities that said.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Because you're a man, you gotta do this, that and
the other.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I mean, I think that that you you want to
lock into your marriage about what is it that you
have expectations about, communicate them clearly? What I have expectations about,
communicating clearly My wife wanted her expectations, which you once
I put in the cabbage can, I ain't taking it out.
That's her expectation. So you know, I got two sons.
(03:37):
They take out the trash because my whole life I
had to take out the trash. I ain't get maried
to take out the trash. Ain't gonna be So so
we go into those ideas, and we need to learn
what your expectation is of this marriage so I can
meet and exceed that expectation.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Are you always learning each other's expectations. Expectations change over time.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Yes, expectations changed because your life changes exactly. So for instance,
I was I was working, I was a principal, I
was a teacher, and so my day started early in
the morning and it ended late at night. I mean
not late at night, but in the in the evening.
So my husband had to take our daughter to daycare,
so he had to sit and he had to do
(04:15):
her hair and all that other kind of stuff you
don't want you.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Know, the whole memoir about it.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Lessons I learned from my daughter because she taught me
something every day that was so.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
Yes, your roles and your expectation changes, so That means
that his expectation for me changed because I was working
outside of the house. Now that I'm gonna stay at home,
there's a there's a difference expectation than.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
It was when I was working a nine to five.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
So all of these If your expectations aren't changing, then
I would really yeah, and your marriage is stagnant.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
And you are evolving. That's why we said keep dating.
In the other segment the other week, we said keep
dating because I want to know where where are you now?
What do you care about? Now?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
What's important to you?
Speaker 4 (04:59):
Now?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
This is your relationship of evolution.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Man, if I can't evolve with my spouse, then I'm trapped.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I'm locked.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I'm locked in And this this is the this is
my last first kiss, this my this is the last
person I want to sleep with. So we gotta we
gotta evolve the last What you like, what you like
now that you didn't like at first, Let's have something else.
Don't you like no more? What you care about? What's
what's important to you? This is how we grow. And
now we've all right, we're gonna come back with the glens.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
We're talking about leveraging your differences as strengths and if
you missed any of the conversation, you can always go
back follow us on Facebook, Instagram.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Here with the Glens are gonna come.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Back and talk about using your differences to achieve shared goals.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Also, we welcome your questions.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I know y'all thinking like man, I wish I could
ask them this.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Eight y five nine nine, thirteen ninety. It is Relationship
Talk Thursday.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's Sonya with Pastor Jamone Glenn and Pastor Erica Glenn
of New Life, and we're talking about leveraging your strengths,
leveraging your differences as strengths.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
And you know marriage could be fun, right, we want
to you know, you.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Know we I know we deep up in here, but
we also there's there's fun, there's advantages of being married,
and we're talking about, you know, the differences. Your differences
can be advantageous as it relates to your relationship. So
let's talk about that your difference is to achieve shared goals.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I think what's the goal? First, right, I think.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
What's the goal?
Speaker 5 (06:20):
And I think, you know, kind of bounce it off
what you're saying that your mariage should be fun and
it is, and so like when we go on vacation,
my husband always stretches me to do these uh these excursions,
and our kids are always like, mom did that, Mom
did that?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
And I just is like, no, your.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Mother did not do that. My wife did it on vacation.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
She's my wife and she's your mother when she's with you,
but when she's with me, she a whole nother woman
because she's my wife.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
And I think that people they forget that there's something
in their spouse that they love, that they pulled out
of them that they don't naturally do. And I think
they don't they don't embrace tho that difference. So, yes,
he's adventurous, and he you know, he he he's jumped
out of a plane, all of that adventure inside of him.
And there's a little bit of me that really likes
(07:09):
saying I like you, you're good, you always killing But
I wouldn't do it by myself. I wouldn't And so
his adventurons causes me to pull something out of me
that most people would know is there.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
So it is a major difference, but it is also something.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
That I desire, which I was like bigger in but
he pulls it out of me.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
And I'm the planner in the relationship. So if I
go to her thinking that she gonna plan it, I'm
gonna be frustrated. I'm the planner. But once I plan
it and set the course, she makes it special. She
does little things like we got treats, and she organized
the process, and how it feels on the way, and
the stuff that's happening that I wouldn't even think about.
I like, I picked the hotel, I picked the flight.
(07:53):
I mean, she get on a plane and don't even
know where we go, maybe asking her where we're going,
like I don't know, I don't know where we're there.
What you mean you're gonna make it? You don't know shit?
Because he like it a certain kind of ways. So
I don't even have to worry about how it's gonna
be when I get there, because it's gonna be. And
in the same way that she doesn't know anything about
that if I forgot something or miss something, although I
(08:15):
fuss about all the bags that she carry on the plane,
if I reach in one of the bags, everything I
could have thought of is in that bag.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
She makes that.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
She has a way of making the moment special, and
I have a way of making sure we get to
the moment. That's an opportunity to leverage our differences instead
of well, why you don't never plan it?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Why? Well, then the one time when I did encourage
her to planet.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
And make sure, and I made sure I never planned
it again.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I tried my.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Very best to enjoy it, to like it, to think
it was wonderful. But it just wasn't wonderful. It wasn't
her foretee. And then I switched it up and she said,
you ain't gotta worry, I ain't never do it again.
I was like, you know what, that's my bag because
I try to do. I try to give you what
I know is my role to do. And my family
we always say everybody got a roll, everybody got a responsibility.
So find out what your role and responsibility is in
(09:04):
your marriage and then lean on.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
That will be mad about it.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
If you know you pay all the bills, and you
know you make the money, but you spend it up.
You know who better with the money, who got the
better credit card? It'll tell you who manages the most,
who got something at the end of the month. Quit
thinking because you the man that means you're supposed to
manage the money, y'all will be broke. Like if you
don't know what you're doing with the money, don't And
then woman of God, if you know you got the
shopping spirit and you love shopping, you spend everything put
(09:29):
in your hand, don't think you the person that do that. Like,
find your role and embrace your role so that the
couple wins, not just you.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
How do you, I mean, how do you own up
to those different those differences?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Because folks, some folks they overlook them, you know.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
They don't overlook them. They it's an area of tension
and conflict. And then they only argue about it exactly
and they don't they don't.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
Never say they don't put nothing there, don't put there's
nothing on top of that, they don't have the evan.
If I know that I'm not good with money, why
am I just because I'm the man or necessarily i'm
the woman and that's what I saw.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
That doesn't mean that that's what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
And I think pride, pride is in there when you were,
when you when you're married, you.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Ten times yourself. So yes, I could do this, I
could pay my bill. I could, Yes, you could, but
is that your strength?
Speaker 5 (10:23):
You got married to be able to have strength to
do more things together than you get separate.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
So just because you can do it doesn't mean that
you should do it.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
It's what in this in this stage of our lives,
we only doing the stuff that we really enjoy loving
to do, and we got the power, we got the strength,
we got the talent and the annoyingty and we see results.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's what we're doing and we're not being prideful.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah, because we don't.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
It slows us down as a unit, so they the
evidence is usually in the tension, so it ends up
being a pain point that you always fussing and arguing about.
But then you never put any parameters in place to
fix it. You only, when it happens, make it a
big deal, But you don't say, well, who is better
at what? And should we be doing this differently? And
(11:08):
that's what I mean by embracing biblical roles and gender roles.
My wife can cook, She cooks amazing. Her food is excellent.
We love her cooking. But sometimes I like to cook,
and my kids enjoy my and the day to day stuff.
When I as a as an exercise of relationship. I'll
cook with my children as a point of doing finding
another thing to do with them. It doesn't diminute. She
(11:31):
could care less. She could care less appreciated, and I
know how to wash dishes, but not her standards.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
So sometimes so when I cook, When I cook, I.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Just walk out the kitchen, and she gonna clean up
the kitchen because she like you cook, I'm gona clean
up the kitchen because even if I cleaned up the kitchen,
she's gonna go back and clean up. So she like,
that's what she's going. Yeah, so we understand what we do,
and then we embrass buy the groceries. She go to
the grocery store. She like going to the gross store.
I don't like going to the grocery store. I'll pay
(12:04):
for all the groceries. She go get it, she bring
it home, lay it all out, I'll cook it. When
I finish cooking, we'll sit down and eat it. Then
she'll clean up. Send everybody away.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
It works right.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
They don't fuss about cultural gender problems. We just embraced
the We're gonna come back with the glens. This relationship talk.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
There's got a question how to avoid feeling opposite or
against each other. That question is coming through on Relationship
Talk Thursday. Hi, thank you so much for calling. Good
to hear from you today. It's Relationship Talk Thursday here
with the pastors Dimone and Erica Glenn, and we're talking
about leveraging leveraging your differences as strengths.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
What's your question? My question is how do you avoid
feeling against each other?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
How do you avoid feeling against each other?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
They're your feelings, Yeah, you're responsible for your feeling, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
And I think that you need to I think that
you need to acknowledge the fact that you could be
opposite and there's nothing wrong with being opposite. And I
think sometimes people in marriages feel like they have to
think like their spouse in a sense maybe doing something,
But you don't have to think like your spouse in
regards to how you feel about something. Like to me,
(13:21):
that's the beauty of marriage is having a different perspective
or having a different lens, And when the both of
you are together, you can see different vantage points based
upon where you are and your lenses. But if you
don't appreciate the differences, then you're not really getting the
beautiful things. I think that God wants you to be
able to see inside of your relationship.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Yeah, and the book Power Couples, we talk about disagree
on the how, not the what, and not the why. Right,
there's more than one way to do anything. So if
we know what we're trying to do, why we're trying
to do it, disagree on the how.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
It's small. It's more than one way.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
To get from here, the Jewels on eighty seventh Street,
on Stoney Island. It's more than one way to get
to anywhere in Chicago, especially Chicago, got multiple ways to
get every place. What you're dealing with is preferences. So
disagree on the how because it doesn't make one way
or the other way wrong. But agree on the what,
agree on the why, and then know that you're never
(14:21):
against each other. Keep the main thing, the main thing,
keep the big picture out front so that you if
let's agree on raising these children, let's agree on staying together,
let's agree on getting out of debt, let's agree on
buying a house. Let's agree on keeping other people out
of our relationship. Now how we go about that? What
do you think and what do you think? Because you
might have a different perspective. Don't ever be against the
(14:43):
person that you're supposed to be building.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
A life with.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Is it good for you? So good? Thank you so much,
thank you for calling.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Thanks calling.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Hey, you called right on time. It's relationship.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
On Thursday, Inspiration thirteen to ninety here with Pastor Jimone
and Pastor Erica Glenn.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You got a question for.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
The team I do. My question is how do you
celebrate experience rather criticized differences?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
I would say to me, I would say the first
thing is to make sure that when you are getting
ready to criticize somebody that you think, instead of criticizing,
like do the work of trying to find something that
they're good at and something that you want to highlight
versus just going for the oki.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Though just going for the first thing.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
I think you need to that's good. I think you
need to create a culture of celebration. Right when you're
in a grind so much and you're so much after it,
you don't pause to say thank you.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
You're doing a good job.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
But even if it's your responsibility, you know, sometimes men
often feel taken for granted because you're the priest, because
you provide it, because you pay the bills because you
handle the business. Ladies just say now, that's what you're
supposed to do. But it doesn't mean that you still
don't want to feel celebrated.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
You know, say thank you sometimes, Yeah I open the
door for you because I'm a gentleman, But say thank you.
Yeah I paid the bill because we sat out and ate,
But say thank you. Yeah you click the lights on
and they came on, But say thank you, you know,
because we should have a culture of a celebration, appreciation
and vice versa. You know, even the things that your
woman does for you. If you create a culture of celebration,
(16:21):
then when you have to criticize or be critical about something,
it goes down a little better because you're not only
highlighting the negative, you're also pointing out the process.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Yeah, and I think that people forget that they have
to make a reservoir of gratitude. Of gratitude, especially when
you know that you're going to have to come in
and criticize somebody about something. So it's like, you know,
they told us as teachers. You know, if you if
the only time you spoke to this student is when
you're trying to correct them, they're going to be rebellious
(16:53):
towards you.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
But if you say good morning, and if you say, oh, you.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Know that I like your outfit, when you have to
come and you know that you're going to have to
come to say something, that's going to be hard for them.
They're gonna look at you a little bit differently because
they're going to realize that you didn't only talk to
me when something was wrong.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
That's good, that's good.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Yeah, create a culture celebration so criticism is more easily accepted.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Was that good for you.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
That?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Thank you for calling and listening?
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Have a bus take?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
That was good you guys, What a way to close that.
What a great way to close out the show today
with that particular call, because we're talking about leveraging your
differences as strengths.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Any final thoughts from each of you.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
Yeah, I just think that people are always more critical
than they are celebratory because we end up taking for granted,
and the longer you are married, the more you end
up taking for granted the things your spouse does. And
no one wants to feel like they're being taken for granted.
So even if I'm doing my responsibility, keeping up to
(17:55):
my end of the bark following after what God's plan
is for me as a husband. It doesn't mean I
want to be I don't want to be celebrated and
appreciated by the one.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm doing it for.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
And I think parents ought so should teach their children
to appreciate and celebrate your spouse. So let it be
a culture in the house.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
He got. You know, my kids.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Say, well, how do you buy the man something that
got everything he wants? But I always tell him it's
not what you buy, it's the effort.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It's the thought.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
It's the intention that you put into it that makes
me feel appreciative. I don't need anything, but when I
see you made an effort instead of being like you
got everything, forget it, then I can appreciate that. My
wife teaches my family that, and I teach my family that,
let celebrate and appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
That's eric you want to close it up.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
I think that in this segment, I think to do
some like self evaluation. And what I mean by that
is just really knowing what you bring to the table,
know your strengths and then don't be afraid to share
them in your marriage. And I think sometimes we put
our lives. Our marriage is on autopilot, and we don't
(19:03):
embrace maybe a new strength or something that I've gained
inside of my marriage because your partner, your your spouse,
you know, they're iron and you're iron, and iron is
sharpening iron. So the person that you were ten years ago,
you're not really that person anymore. And the person that
you was five years ago, you're really not that person.
So what what a strength are you bringing to the
(19:24):
relationship now that may not have been so strong before,
And just kind of making sure that you're looking that
inside of your relationship and not just you know, I
know my person, I know I know my spouse. Like, no,
they're a living human being. What exactly are they interested now?
What are some of their strengths that they have now
and they're making that to be a part of your relationship.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I like how you all finished each other's words, each
other's sentences.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I just say, all right, you're gonna let us.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Know how we can follow you guys, find you get
some more of this wisdom.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Hey, Jerome Glenn dot com is all the books, all
the conferences, all the conversations that we're doing to help
empower marriages.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Particularly on our YouTube page.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
If you want to watch this, we are videotaping it
so you can see it and hear it.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
My wife, Lady Erica Glenn is on all the platforms.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
We're just out here trying to advance God's call in
kingdom relationships and just really making sure that you have
healthy marriage, healthy relationships.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So you can build a lost of legacy. Yo. It's important.
It's God's original idea.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Its good.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Thank you all so much. Relationship back theresay, We'll be
back next week.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Be with us.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Sign you
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