Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good Morning Inspiration thirteen ninety family. It's Relationship Talk Thursday.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We are on a roll.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We got a great response last month, and now the
power couple is back back to state.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
That's what I'm saying. Y'all can't go No, you're stuck
with me right now, you stuck with me. I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pastors Damone and Erica Glenn of New Life.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Y'all feel good about Relationship Talk Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
It's been great.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Thank you for having us once again. Thank you for
sharing your platform so we can get the message out
about marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, yeah, thanks. Let's let's roll.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Okay, So we want to talk about loved today. Can
love alone sustain a marriage? You know you've heard you know,
love at first sight, right, but you know, I guess
there is some truth to that.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But what do you guys? How you want to approach
this topic?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Is it love? Is it?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well? Is it love?
Speaker 5 (00:49):
But I mean no, I don't I don't know. I'm
not going to say it's not love because it's probably
based upon what your previous experiences have.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Been at first you love experience, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
You could be attracted to them.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
And it's attracted at first sight.
Speaker 6 (01:05):
Yeah, yeah, you should be like, okay, we need to
please be right. Contraction at first sight. Yeah, and it's
a beautiful phrase. But attraction is not assignment. Yeah you
know it's like, just because I'm attracted to you don't.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Mean any to me. That's just the key. Yeah, it's
the key to open up the door.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
But it's not. It's the entrance.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Let me let you wish your number.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, because I can.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
You can look good and then you start talking and
I'm like, you unattracted?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Isn't it interesting?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I could be attracted to you and then I get
to engaging, I can be unattracted. Nothing changed about how
you look, but something changed about who you are.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So where does love have its place in a relationship?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Then love is an important ingredient, but it's not. It's
not the only thing. It's foundational, it's a contribution. It
should be added God's way. Of course, you know what
love is is what love does, and so there is
action that's connected to that. But love isn't the only ingredient, right.
The Bible says love your enemies. Bible say love your neighbor.
(02:13):
You shouldn't marry your neighbor, and you shouldn't marry your
enemies necessarily. So love is an important ingredient in your
faith and in your walk, but not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Sometimes we put love.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Too big, too much in front of the relationship that
we don't get to the other stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, they need to be talking.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
About because I think sometimes love is interpreted of like
being romantic and romanticizing a relationship. To me, is not
the longevity of a relationship to be romantic. Yes, you
need romance, but romance will you say romance without finance.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Especially especially for you know what a woman needs in
a relationship, and those are good things. But it's to me,
it's a very low percentage. When you kind of get
into the relationship, it's enough to kind of. I should
explore this, but you know, in order to keep it,
it has to be more than romance and.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Our personal relationship. When we were dating, courting, she called
it dating. I call it courting. By the time I
told my wife that I loved her, I told her.
She said, why did you wate so long to tell
me that you loved me? I said, because I wanted
it to be a affirmation, not a revelation. And I
meant it with no games like I want it by
the time I said I love you, you to have already
(03:35):
known that.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Felt, that experienced it was. It was just kind of like, oh.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, of course you do, not like you do for real,
like you know, because if I put the work in
at the top, then it's already it's an affirming statement
to my behavior. It's not a revelatory statement. And now
I got to prove my love. Got fight every night
to prove my love. Right, I shouldn't have to be
in that seat, in that space. So I think people
(04:01):
overindulge in the emotional side. And and love is a decision.
It's a choice. It's not it's a feeling, but it's
not feeling based. It's a decision and a choice that
you got to choose every day. So, yes, love is important,
but assignment is great. What do we what do we say?
People tell us we want to get married?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Okay, and and and what else?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Why y'all want to get married because we love each other?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
That's great? But that's not enough. What you're gonna do together?
Are you a signed?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Hold that thought?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
There's more attached to what you what you just said
right there, We're gonna come back with the glens of
for a couple. Can love alone sustain a relationship? We
do have some questions that you put before, so we'll
get to those. And if you do have a question,
you can always reach out A five five, nine, nine,
thirteen ninety of this Relationship Talk Thursday. Welcome back to
(04:58):
Relationship Talk Thursday. It's Sonya Blakey. I did better this time.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Pastor Erica needed her snacks and her coffee, so I
can't prepared today.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Well she can't prepare and so now we are ready
to flow this morning. Welcome back to Relationship Talk Thursdays.
Pastor Jimot and Erica Glenn. We're talking about can love
alone sustain a relationship? You know? And folks say I'm
in love, I want to get married, And what do
y'all say?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
That's not enough?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
That's good?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
What else she canna do?
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
What else you want?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
What else?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah, love has to be added to the ingredient of
a healthy relationship, but it's just an ingredient. Don't over,
don't over. I remember Grandma said, you know, I want
you to be sober in love in your engagement process,
Like this is the least amount of love that you
should feel in your entire relationship is at the beginning.
(05:51):
Don't be so head over heels and love that you
can't choose, be sober, make a decision.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
This is the least amount of love.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
And I didn't understand that until we got into it
and she had our children and we build a family
and establish you know, our life and our legacy together,
and the love that I feel for her now is
greater than that love in the beginning. But it's not
based on the emotion. It's based on the things we've contributions,
(06:18):
we built. And I think enough people don't get they
let attractions supersede the assignment, right, And the Bible clearly
says how can two walk together except there right? So
you got to have alignment with the assignment in order
to agree. And what are we doing together that we're
going to use our love for?
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Right? And it's really you know, like you were saying,
it's what what are you going to build together? And
I think that that also, like moving rolling back to
the beginning of it all, I think that relationships get
in trouble when they're married and then they come to
an end past and they're like, you know, fighting and arguing,
and it's because they have lost, they have lost the
(07:00):
vision of their marriage. They've lost you know why they
came together, why we're together, and they start dealing with
the little things that really doesn't it's not gonna matter
when it's all over and said and done, and really
just focusing back on what are we building together, what
are what is our purpose together? What can I do
with you that I could not do without you? And
(07:22):
I think when people get those things causing it to
be the main thing, then they have more focused and
their relationship starts to really thrive because they're not dealing
with the small stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
They're dealing with the bigger picture, and.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Your love deepens. Exactly so God tells a husband to
love his wife. Doesn't never tell a wife to love love,
you know, because we know that men translate love as respect,
and so respect feel love feels different for a man
than it does for a woman. And so it has
to be intentional. And you know, we say love is
a great ingredients and this foundational. But I mean, you
(07:55):
still got to have communication, trust, you gotta have reliability,
you gotta have commitment. You have to have a lot
of things that add to that that make it equally
yoke people always think you know the bodyle say, don't
be unequally yoking.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Unequally yoke me. We both got to be saved.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
But man, we done ran into a lot of people
that say that shouldn't probably be married and both say
both love God and can't make it work because they
haven't done the work that's that's needed for a successful
relationship outside of the fundamentals or the foundation.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Great, we gonna come back, and there's a question on
the table for the Glens. What do you do when
love fades? How do you re ignite it?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Here?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Those questions coming, y'all eight five to five, nine, nine, nine,
thirteen nine. You can post right there on our Facebook
Instagram page. We welcome your questions on Relationship Talk Thursday.
Thank you so much, Inspiration thirteen ninety family for listening
in this morning to Relationship Talk Thursdays.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I love that you love the Glens.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
They're doing a great job and came back today to
talk about love alone. Can it really sustain a relationship?
So here's another question that you guys presented that was presented.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
To you guys.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Have you ever loved someone deeply but realize.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
You weren't compatible? How did you handle it.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
It looks like Pastor Damon is looking at his wife
to to answer that question.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
First, I'm digress for her experience.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Really, okay, Share Share Share Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
It's true. It's true.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
I was I was a dater so and my husband
was not. But I'm I was a dater and so
so you know, when you come to the realization that
this relationship can go another it cannot go another further.
I think you have to be honest with yourself. And
I think what happens to people is they believe and
(09:54):
feel I have invested so much time, so much energy,
so much money, so many Christmases and Thanksgivings and all
of those things piled up, but they don't think about
the cost of forever versus a couple of years.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
And so, how do you get out of it? How
do you handle it?
Speaker 5 (10:17):
Is you have to be honest with yourself that this
is not my partner. Is They're not a bad person,
They're just not the person for me. I have seen
them in various seasons, and in various seasons they have
shown up to not be the person for me, And
so you have to acknowledge that they're not the person
for you. And then you must have enough courage to
(10:39):
do what you know you need to do and stop
wasting the time that this person could be finding somebody
for them and you could be finding somebody for you.
But as long as you're together occupying space, no one
else can come into this relationship. So you have to
acknowledge it, and then you have to have courage to
break it off.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
And if you're married, because that's in the context of singleness, right,
and in a marriage relationship, when there's no compatibility, it's
usually an unwillingness to compromise exactly. It is some chemistry there, right,
But if you got this far, you already walked down
the aisle and you got married, there had to be
chemistry at one time. So now there's a refusal to
(11:20):
compromise or to communicate expectations and give the other person
what they want. So that stubbornness is not going to
create an increased compatibility. So now we're married, we don't
want to destroy the relationship. We just want to submit
to what it is that you say you need to
quit force and then they quit fighting back and forth.
It doesn't matter if I think it's important or if
(11:40):
I think it's right, or if I think it's stupid,
or if I think you don't need that, I don't
get to tell you what you say you need or
what you say you want. If I want to be
with you, then I want to be compatible. Then I
have to be willing to compromise, and I have to
be willing to communicate because there's a lot of people
that's frustrated that haven't communicated what they want, and there's
(12:00):
a lot of people that have communicated but won't compromise.
So I told you what I want, but you're not
giving it to me, and you refuse to give it
to me because you're too in your head about if
you think I need it or deserve it, And that's ridiculous.
So if we're together and we're married, if you want
to move forward in this marriage, and I need to
be honest about what it is that I need and
what it is that I want, and then we need
(12:21):
to be honest about if you're going to because it
ain't okay. If you're willing to give it, give me
what I said that I need and what they said
that I want it, that's good, suitable and compatible and adaptable.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
All right, good morning, It's version thirteen ninety.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Family, we got some questions coming in on this relationship
talk Thursday. We welcome all your questions, even if it's
not on the topic. We want to get it answered.
So here's a question. What do you do when love
fades past? Glenn Jamo pastor Erica? How do you reignite it?
I think you know, first of all, I believe you
(13:07):
can reignite it.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
That's the first thing, right, because some people, because some
people feel like that it can't be reignited.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
But I think you, I know you can reignite it.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
I think it's with some intentionality, probably some intentional conversations,
intentional questions like you know, what what can I do
to please you? You know, how do I show you
that I love you? Or how do you need to
be loved? You know we're talking about married people, right, Okay,
So how much sex you need, like the whole sex
(13:42):
conversation to feel loved? Like all of those things that
I think that causes a relationship to go stale is
the things that you should be Yeah, the things you
should be talking about, you know, like and then you know,
just making sure that you're letting your spouse know that
you appreciate them.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That will reignite, reignite your relationship.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
That's real because a lot of guys feel like they're
doing their duty but don't get appreciated because it's what
you're supposed to do. And there's a lot of ladies
that feel like they're doing their duty and don't feel
appreciated because they're doing what they're supposed to do. But
appreciation is lack of appreciation is one of the greatest
things that cause it a relationship to go still. No affirmation,
(14:23):
you know, like when was the last time you affirmed
your spouse in what they do even though it's a
part of their assignment, But how do they feel and
receive affirmation that they're doing a good job? Or like
we talked about on Marriage Monday last night, we talked
about how in the context, what did I do this
week make you feel loved? Did I do anything? And
(14:46):
then if you stuttering and don't have anything to say,
I need to step it up. You know, what did
I do this week to make you feel honored, to
make you feel respected, to make you feel appreciated, or
to make you feel affirmed, Because the affirmation has to
begin and out. It's not outside exactly. There's a lot
of people outside that's ready to affirm you how great
you are, how good you look, how wonderful you are,
how amazing you are. And you come home to an
(15:08):
empty love take with no affirmation and no love. So
you reignite your relationship through intentionality and having conversations that
are affirming.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Right, and your dog, I mean, you know, just side
with your dog if you have a dog. Right, If
you have a dog, your dog really shows you how
somebody should treat you. They are exciting when you come
to you come in and exactly, and when you're not
feeling well, your dog knows that you're not feeling aware
and they find you, they sit by you, they do
(15:38):
whatever they can to accommodate you.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And your dog teaches you a lot of things. If
you will take even though.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Happy to see you all the time, don't let the
dog out, do you?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Okay? Oh all right, we're welcome for your questions.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
We'll be back.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
But Pastors Daemon and Erica Glenn on this relationship talk theirs.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
They it's but a great session with the power of couple.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Do you guys do counseling, We do coaching, coaching almost yeah,
because people just want to have marriage counseling, get in
the room and blame each other for what they with
plain fingers.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
We don't have time for that. What we discovered is
that people lack tools.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Right.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
They want to be in relationships and they want to
be in love, but they don't know how to especially
if you weren't raised around it, didn't grow up seeing it.
You are hope, you're an entire adult, and now you
get into one of the most significant and important relationships
in your life and you have no equipment for it.
Barely went through premarital counseling, if barely have no library
(16:44):
whatsoever concerning marriage. Just the least amount of books, the
least amount of podcasts you listen to, the least amount
of books you read, the least about the information you intained,
No confidences, no retreats, no loss songs.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
All the songs is less songs.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
You have no intake inside up to take the most
important relationship. So we don't like counseling because it's a
waste of time. But we will coach you, give you tools,
give you equipment, give you information. That's why we write books.
We wrote this book. It's called The thirty Day Love Challenge.
Thirty Day Love Challenge gives you an opportunity to practice
love in action, not in just theory. It's because love
(17:22):
is a choice. Practice love as an important ingredient in
your relationship. For thirty consistent days, every single day, read
a devotion. Do this on your spouse, Do it to them,
not to receive anything back from them, but just do
it from your side and just engage.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Engage, engage, engage with intentionality.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
So we give we give tools to equip people because
if people are equipped, they will have successful relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Follow you, yep, Actually we got one coming up in March.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Is the coach in the March. That's right, the end
of March, the last March twenty fourth.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
It starts.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
It's a group setting because we learn from group learning.
Group settings. It is online. It is so people can
do from all over the world, but it is a
group setting. We do four weeks of marriage coaching that
will give you a week talk about vision, we talk
about communication, we talk about intimacy, and we talk about money.
So we get to the big three and at like
my wife said, if you know where you're going, you
(18:19):
know what you're after, you stop talking about the things
you're not engaged in, and we invite you to be
a part of that. You're curious and interested and also
a part of the thirty day Love Challenge that's going
to kick off in the month of March that you can.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Do yeah at any time.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Looking forward to having you guys back next Thursday, Relationship
Talk Thursday. No, you can always submit your questions there,
on Instagram, Facebook, or just hit me in here at
the station eight five five thirteen ninety
Good Morning Inspiration thirteen ninety family. It's Relationship Talk Thursday.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We are on a roll.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We got a great response last month, and now the
power couple is back back to state.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
That's what I'm saying. Y'all can't go No, you're stuck
with me right now, you stuck with me. I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pastors Damone and Erica Glenn of New Life.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Y'all feel good about Relationship Talk Thursday.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
It's been great.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Thank you for having us once again. Thank you for
sharing your platform so we can get the message out
about marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, yeah, thanks. Let's let's roll.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Okay, So we want to talk about loved today. Can
love alone sustain a marriage? You know you've heard you know,
love at first sight, right, but you know, I guess
there is some truth to that.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
But what do you guys? How you want to approach
this topic?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Is it love? Is it?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well? Is it love?
Speaker 5 (00:49):
But I mean no, I don't I don't know. I'm
not going to say it's not love because it's probably
based upon what your previous experiences have.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Been at first you love experience, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
You could be attracted to them.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
And it's attracted at first sight.
Speaker 6 (01:05):
Yeah, yeah, you should be like, okay, we need to
please be right. Contraction at first sight. Yeah, and it's
a beautiful phrase. But attraction is not assignment. Yeah you
know it's like, just because I'm attracted to you don't.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Mean any to me. That's just the key. Yeah, it's
the key to open up the door.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
But it's not. It's the entrance.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Let me let you wish your number.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah, because I can.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
You can look good and then you start talking and
I'm like, you unattracted?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Isn't it interesting?
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I could be attracted to you and then I get
to engaging, I can be unattracted. Nothing changed about how
you look, but something changed about who you are.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So where does love have its place in a relationship?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Then love is an important ingredient, but it's not. It's
not the only thing. It's foundational, it's a contribution. It
should be added God's way. Of course, you know what
love is is what love does, and so there is
action that's connected to that. But love isn't the only ingredient, right.
The Bible says love your enemies. Bible say love your neighbor.
(02:13):
You shouldn't marry your neighbor, and you shouldn't marry your
enemies necessarily. So love is an important ingredient in your
faith and in your walk, but not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Sometimes we put love.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Too big, too much in front of the relationship that
we don't get to the other stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, they need to be talking.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
About because I think sometimes love is interpreted of like
being romantic and romanticizing a relationship. To me, is not
the longevity of a relationship to be romantic. Yes, you
need romance, but romance will you say romance without finance.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Exactly?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Especially especially for you know what a woman needs in
a relationship, and those are good things. But it's to me,
it's a very low percentage. When you kind of get
into the relationship, it's enough to kind of. I should
explore this, but you know, in order to keep it,
it has to be more than romance and.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Our personal relationship. When we were dating, courting, she called
it dating. I call it courting. By the time I
told my wife that I loved her, I told her.
She said, why did you wate so long to tell
me that you loved me? I said, because I wanted
it to be a affirmation, not a revelation. And I
meant it with no games like I want it by
the time I said I love you, you to have already
(03:35):
known that.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Felt, that experienced it was. It was just kind of like, oh.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, of course you do, not like you do for real,
like you know, because if I put the work in
at the top, then it's already it's an affirming statement
to my behavior. It's not a revelatory statement. And now
I got to prove my love. Got fight every night
to prove my love. Right, I shouldn't have to be
in that seat, in that space. So I think people
(04:01):
overindulge in the emotional side. And and love is a decision.
It's a choice. It's not it's a feeling, but it's
not feeling based. It's a decision and a choice that
you got to choose every day. So, yes, love is important,
but assignment is great. What do we what do we say?
People tell us we want to get married?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Okay, and and and what else?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Why y'all want to get married because we love each other?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
That's great? But that's not enough. What you're gonna do together?
Are you a signed?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Hold that thought?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
There's more attached to what you what you just said
right there, We're gonna come back with the glens of
for a couple. Can love alone sustain a relationship? We
do have some questions that you put before, so we'll
get to those. And if you do have a question,
you can always reach out A five five, nine, nine,
thirteen ninety of this Relationship Talk Thursday. Welcome back to
(04:58):
Relationship Talk Thursday. It's Sonya Blakey. I did better this time.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Pastor Erica needed her snacks and her coffee, so I
can't prepared today.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Well she can't prepare and so now we are ready
to flow this morning. Welcome back to Relationship Talk Thursdays.
Pastor Jimot and Erica Glenn. We're talking about can love
alone sustain a relationship? You know? And folks say I'm
in love, I want to get married, And what do
y'all say?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
That's not enough?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
That's good?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
What else she canna do?
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Right?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
What else you want?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
What else?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah, love has to be added to the ingredient of
a healthy relationship, but it's just an ingredient. Don't over,
don't over. I remember Grandma said, you know, I want
you to be sober in love in your engagement process,
Like this is the least amount of love that you
should feel in your entire relationship is at the beginning.
(05:51):
Don't be so head over heels and love that you
can't choose, be sober, make a decision.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
This is the least amount of love.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
And I didn't understand that until we got into it
and she had our children and we build a family
and establish you know, our life and our legacy together,
and the love that I feel for her now is
greater than that love in the beginning. But it's not
based on the emotion. It's based on the things we've contributions,
(06:18):
we built. And I think enough people don't get they
let attractions supersede the assignment, right, And the Bible clearly
says how can two walk together except there right? So
you got to have alignment with the assignment in order
to agree. And what are we doing together that we're
going to use our love for?
Speaker 5 (06:39):
Right? And it's really you know, like you were saying,
it's what what are you going to build together? And
I think that that also, like moving rolling back to
the beginning of it all, I think that relationships get
in trouble when they're married and then they come to
an end past and they're like, you know, fighting and arguing,
and it's because they have lost, they have lost the
(07:00):
vision of their marriage. They've lost you know why they
came together, why we're together, and they start dealing with
the little things that really doesn't it's not gonna matter
when it's all over and said and done, and really
just focusing back on what are we building together, what
are what is our purpose together? What can I do
with you that I could not do without you? And
(07:22):
I think when people get those things causing it to
be the main thing, then they have more focused and
their relationship starts to really thrive because they're not dealing
with the small stuff.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
They're dealing with the bigger picture, and.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Your love deepens. Exactly so God tells a husband to
love his wife. Doesn't never tell a wife to love love,
you know, because we know that men translate love as respect,
and so respect feel love feels different for a man
than it does for a woman. And so it has
to be intentional. And you know, we say love is
a great ingredients and this foundational. But I mean, you
(07:55):
still got to have communication, trust, you gotta have reliability,
you gotta have commitment. You have to have a lot
of things that add to that that make it equally
yoke people always think you know the bodyle say, don't
be unequally yoking.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Unequally yoke me. We both got to be saved.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
But man, we done ran into a lot of people
that say that shouldn't probably be married and both say
both love God and can't make it work because they
haven't done the work that's that's needed for a successful
relationship outside of the fundamentals or the foundation.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Great, we gonna come back, and there's a question on
the table for the Glens. What do you do when
love fades? How do you re ignite it?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Here?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Those questions coming, y'all eight five to five, nine, nine, nine,
thirteen nine. You can post right there on our Facebook
Instagram page. We welcome your questions on Relationship Talk Thursday.
Thank you so much, Inspiration thirteen ninety family for listening
in this morning to Relationship Talk Thursdays.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I love that you love the Glens.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
They're doing a great job and came back today to
talk about love alone. Can it really sustain a relationship?
So here's another question that you guys presented that was presented.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
To you guys.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Have you ever loved someone deeply but realize.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
You weren't compatible? How did you handle it.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
It looks like Pastor Damon is looking at his wife
to to answer that question.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
First, I'm digress for her experience.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Really, okay, Share Share Share Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
It's true. It's true.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
I was I was a dater so and my husband
was not. But I'm I was a dater and so
so you know, when you come to the realization that
this relationship can go another it cannot go another further.
I think you have to be honest with yourself. And
I think what happens to people is they believe and
(09:54):
feel I have invested so much time, so much energy,
so much money, so many Christmases and Thanksgivings and all
of those things piled up, but they don't think about
the cost of forever versus a couple of years.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
And so, how do you get out of it? How
do you handle it?
Speaker 5 (10:17):
Is you have to be honest with yourself that this
is not my partner. Is They're not a bad person,
They're just not the person for me. I have seen
them in various seasons, and in various seasons they have
shown up to not be the person for me, And
so you have to acknowledge that they're not the person
for you. And then you must have enough courage to
(10:39):
do what you know you need to do and stop
wasting the time that this person could be finding somebody
for them and you could be finding somebody for you.
But as long as you're together occupying space, no one
else can come into this relationship. So you have to
acknowledge it, and then you have to have courage to
break it off.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
And if you're married, because that's in the context of singleness, right,
and in a marriage relationship, when there's no compatibility, it's
usually an unwillingness to compromise exactly. It is some chemistry there, right,
But if you got this far, you already walked down
the aisle and you got married, there had to be
chemistry at one time. So now there's a refusal to
(11:20):
compromise or to communicate expectations and give the other person
what they want. So that stubbornness is not going to
create an increased compatibility. So now we're married, we don't
want to destroy the relationship. We just want to submit
to what it is that you say you need to
quit force and then they quit fighting back and forth.
It doesn't matter if I think it's important or if
(11:40):
I think it's right, or if I think it's stupid,
or if I think you don't need that, I don't
get to tell you what you say you need or
what you say you want. If I want to be
with you, then I want to be compatible. Then I
have to be willing to compromise, and I have to
be willing to communicate because there's a lot of people
that's frustrated that haven't communicated what they want, and there's
(12:00):
a lot of people that have communicated but won't compromise.
So I told you what I want, but you're not
giving it to me, and you refuse to give it
to me because you're too in your head about if
you think I need it or deserve it, And that's ridiculous.
So if we're together and we're married, if you want
to move forward in this marriage, and I need to
be honest about what it is that I need and
what it is that I want, and then we need
(12:21):
to be honest about if you're going to because it
ain't okay. If you're willing to give it, give me
what I said that I need and what they said
that I want it, that's good, suitable and compatible and adaptable.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
All right, good morning, It's version thirteen ninety.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Family, we got some questions coming in on this relationship
talk Thursday. We welcome all your questions, even if it's
not on the topic. We want to get it answered.
So here's a question. What do you do when love
fades past? Glenn Jamo pastor Erica? How do you reignite it?
I think you know, first of all, I believe you
(13:07):
can reignite it.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
That's the first thing, right, because some people, because some
people feel like that it can't be reignited.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
But I think you, I know you can reignite it.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
I think it's with some intentionality, probably some intentional conversations,
intentional questions like you know, what what can I do
to please you? You know, how do I show you
that I love you? Or how do you need to
be loved? You know we're talking about married people, right, Okay,
So how much sex you need, like the whole sex
(13:42):
conversation to feel loved? Like all of those things that
I think that causes a relationship to go stale is
the things that you should be Yeah, the things you
should be talking about, you know, like and then you know,
just making sure that you're letting your spouse know that
you appreciate them.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
That will reignite, reignite your relationship.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
That's real because a lot of guys feel like they're
doing their duty but don't get appreciated because it's what
you're supposed to do. And there's a lot of ladies
that feel like they're doing their duty and don't feel
appreciated because they're doing what they're supposed to do. But
appreciation is lack of appreciation is one of the greatest
things that cause it a relationship to go still. No affirmation,
(14:23):
you know, like when was the last time you affirmed
your spouse in what they do even though it's a
part of their assignment, But how do they feel and
receive affirmation that they're doing a good job? Or like
we talked about on Marriage Monday last night, we talked
about how in the context, what did I do this
week make you feel loved? Did I do anything? And
(14:46):
then if you stuttering and don't have anything to say,
I need to step it up. You know, what did
I do this week to make you feel honored, to
make you feel respected, to make you feel appreciated, or
to make you feel affirmed, Because the affirmation has to
begin and out. It's not outside exactly. There's a lot
of people outside that's ready to affirm you how great
you are, how good you look, how wonderful you are,
how amazing you are. And you come home to an
(15:08):
empty love take with no affirmation and no love. So
you reignite your relationship through intentionality and having conversations that
are affirming.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Right, and your dog, I mean, you know, just side
with your dog if you have a dog. Right, If
you have a dog, your dog really shows you how
somebody should treat you. They are exciting when you come
to you come in and exactly, and when you're not
feeling well, your dog knows that you're not feeling aware
and they find you, they sit by you, they do
(15:38):
whatever they can to accommodate you.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And your dog teaches you a lot of things. If
you will take even though.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Happy to see you all the time, don't let the
dog out, do you?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Okay? Oh all right, we're welcome for your questions.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
We'll be back.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
But Pastors Daemon and Erica Glenn on this relationship talk theirs.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
They it's but a great session with the power of couple.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Do you guys do counseling, We do coaching, coaching almost yeah,
because people just want to have marriage counseling, get in
the room and blame each other for what they with
plain fingers.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
We don't have time for that. What we discovered is
that people lack tools.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Right.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
They want to be in relationships and they want to
be in love, but they don't know how to especially
if you weren't raised around it, didn't grow up seeing it.
You are hope, you're an entire adult, and now you
get into one of the most significant and important relationships
in your life and you have no equipment for it.
Barely went through premarital counseling, if barely have no library
(16:44):
whatsoever concerning marriage. Just the least amount of books, the
least amount of podcasts you listen to, the least amount
of books you read, the least about the information you intained,
No confidences, no retreats, no loss songs.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
All the songs is less songs.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
You have no intake inside up to take the most
important relationship. So we don't like counseling because it's a
waste of time. But we will coach you, give you tools,
give you equipment, give you information. That's why we write books.
We wrote this book. It's called The thirty Day Love Challenge.
Thirty Day Love Challenge gives you an opportunity to practice
love in action, not in just theory. It's because love
(17:22):
is a choice. Practice love as an important ingredient in
your relationship. For thirty consistent days, every single day, read
a devotion. Do this on your spouse, Do it to them,
not to receive anything back from them, but just do
it from your side and just engage.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Engage, engage, engage with intentionality.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
So we give we give tools to equip people because
if people are equipped, they will have successful relationship.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Follow you, yep, Actually we got one coming up in March.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Is the coach in the March. That's right, the end
of March, the last March twenty fourth.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
It starts.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
It's a group setting because we learn from group learning.
Group settings. It is online. It is so people can
do from all over the world, but it is a
group setting. We do four weeks of marriage coaching that
will give you a week talk about vision, we talk
about communication, we talk about intimacy, and we talk about money.
So we get to the big three and at like
my wife said, if you know where you're going, you
(18:19):
know what you're after, you stop talking about the things
you're not engaged in, and we invite you to be
a part of that. You're curious and interested and also
a part of the thirty day Love Challenge that's going
to kick off in the month of March that you can.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Do yeah at any time.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Looking forward to having you guys back next Thursday, Relationship
Talk Thursday. No, you can always submit your questions there,
on Instagram, Facebook, or just hit me in here at
the station eight five five thirteen ninety
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