Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have heard men tell me in confidentiality, in private,
the good ones. Right, it's so easy to talk about
the guys that ain't good, that ain't doing that, that
ain't he don't do this, he don't do that. But
the good ones that go to work, that pay the bills,
that lead their family, that step in the gap, that's
just doing what they're supposed to do. That they feel
taken for granted or unseen or unappreciated by their spouse
(00:25):
because they've taken on the responsibility not to be asked,
but to do what it is that they believe that
they should be doing as a good man and as
a good husband. So they've confided in me in that sense.
And then on the other side, ladies who are going,
you know, being at home or going to work and
coming home and taking care of the kids and the
(00:45):
food and the house and all the things, because that
is the expectation of their role in their relationship, they
don't hear a thank you. They don't hear we appreciate it.
They don't hear you know, you know, I really, you know,
thanks for doing that little attention to detail or whatever
it is. Because we can get so caught up in
just doing what we think that we're supposed to be doing.
(01:08):
That people forget to say thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Relationship Talk Thursday continues. It's Thursday. It's that time again.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I'm sewing up Lakey with pastors Damon and Erica Glenn.
Just in case people are listening for the first time,
how would you introduce yourselves? Who would you say that
you all are as a power couple.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
We heard that we are Glenns. Yeah, we are the Glenn's.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
We're a Glen nation and a generational generational breaker.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Okay for marriage, that's.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Good, baby. We are not perfect, but we live on purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And we have learned a lot both through our own
experiences and through our teachers and through people that we've taught,
and we try to share this pool of knowledge and
information so people have successful life in leadership and relationship.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's good.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And now y'all, twenty years in when you can talk
about almost anything, including appreciation, and it's so good. Intentional affection, affirmation,
and presence. You know, I've been married for thirty years. Hey,
oh but.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Congratulations.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
You know, you know sometimes you think you know when
you're a marriage, like you know, that's what you're supposed
to do right your responsibility, but you're saying sometimes that
may not be the case. And men, especially you said
phil unappreciated.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Everybody wants to be known and needed. Okay, everybody wants
to be known and needed, and people want to be
appreciated and never taken for granted. Ladies and gentlemen both do.
And appreciation and attention goes so far. It just goes
(02:50):
so far. It's a way of showing affection. It's low, low, easy,
low level, low hanging fruit, easy affection. It's easy intimacy,
it's simples. It goes so far. And especially depending on
the language of love that the spouse that you're married to,
(03:13):
if it's word of affirmation is one of their main ones,
it goes so far. It does so much. It makes
somebody feel you know, seen, heard, understood, and nobody I
have heard men tell me in confidentiality in private. The
(03:34):
good ones, right, it's so easy to talk about the
guys that ain't good, that ain't doing that, that he
don't do this, he don't do that. But the good
ones that go to work, that pay the bills, that
lead their family, that step in the gap, that's just
doing what they're supposed to do that they feel taken
for granted or unseen or unappreciated by their spouse because
(03:55):
they've taken on the responsibility not to be asked, but
to do what it is that they believe that they
should be doing as a good man and as a
good husband. So they've confided in me in that sense.
And then on the other side, ladies who are going,
you know, being at home or going to work and
coming home and taking care of the kids and the
food and the house and all the things, because that
(04:17):
is the expectation of their role in their relationship, they
don't hear a thank you. They don't hear we appreciate it.
They don't hear you know, you know, I really, you know,
thanks for doing that little attention to detail or whatever
it is. Because we can get so caught up in
just doing what we think that we're supposed to be
doing that people forget to say thank you. And it's
(04:40):
just a human problem. It's something you have to teach children.
It's something God himself say, Hey, where the other what
the other nine people? Only one person came back to
say thank you? All ten of y'all got the same thing.
One person only came back to say thank you, because
we just can take for granted that God is good
just forget to say thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
What we do as women, we do a lot.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I tell husbands all the time that you know, they're like,
I just ask my wife for just one thing, and
I'm like, you don't know the hidden labor that she
has done, the mind labor that she's done for you.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You know, you may not have asked for it.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
But she you know, she put the cup that you
reached for and didn't ask for, you know, like those
kind of things. And so I think, you know, women
sometimes just kind of grow up with the fact that
it's an appreciate, unappreciated, unappreciated space and place. But just
to kind of piggyback on what my husband was saying,
you know, talking about the men feeling that they're not appreciated,
(05:40):
I think sometimes that the people that are supposed to
appreciate them probably came from a place that they were
not shown appreciation to the person. So like if a
woman is raised without a father and she has a husband,
she doesn't really know how to appreciate a man because
she has never had to step into their spaces, So
(06:03):
sometimes you know, yeah, she hadn't seen it.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
She desires it, she prays for it.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
That's what she wants in a husband, that's what she
asks God for, But she doesn't realize that in order
to continue that appreciation, she has to nourish that. So
some of that is just out of ignorance and not intentional.
But I think that when you are the person that
feel when you feel unappreciated in your relationship, you should
(06:28):
say that, you should say something about that.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
And it's because nine times out of.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Ten, I don't want to say nothing because then I
don't feel like it's genuine.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, but it doesn't even matter. It's just to me.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
It's another space and place where your spouse does not
feel heard, and they have to feel heard.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Even when it is not conventional.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
So I think the first thing is just making sure
that when you feel unappreciated that you tell them.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
I tell my kids.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
I let them if I cleaned up the house and
I found all kinds of stuff in your room and
I have to I'm tired. Now everybody has sit at
ktch your table. I just want y'all to know what
I did today because I need you to understand that
you I did not feel appreciated, and I'm not gonna
walk around with that as your mother. I need you
to understand that you made me feel that way, and
(07:15):
I need you to take responsibility for that because this
is also a place for you to learn how to
appreciate people. So it is very important in your relationship
to make sure that you honor on Father's Day, you
honor on Mother's Day, you honor on their birthdays.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You teach your chio.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I see you, I teach my children it's Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
What are y'all doing well? Such and such and such?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
That ain't my daddy My daddy live in Georgia, that
your daddy live in Chicago. You better figure out what
you're supposed to do. And those are those are opportunities
for you to make sure that your spouse feels appreciated,
not just only by you, but also the people that
they're serving in this household.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I think people feel like it's less genuine if I
have to ask for it.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Tell you, that's the only way you're gonna learnt.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I mean, do us feel like that at first? But
so what Yeah, I wish you would, I wish I
shouldn't have to tell you, thank you, Yes, you do
tell tell I have to tell you. I have to
teach you, I have to train you. I have to
tell you what appreciation and affection looks like for me.
And it might feel less genuine at first, but keep
on doing reinerrating what you need, advocating for yourself so
(08:22):
that you can get what you need.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Great topic today from the Power Couple Pastors Demon and
Erica Glenn, who served faithfully as pastors. They're at New
Life with Pastor Hannah. Also they have books, they have
a podcast, and know that you can also listen back
to the conversations we have here on this version thirteen
ninety on the iHeartRadio app Visit podcast. Also on inspirationon
(08:46):
thirteen ninety dot com. You can see Relationship Talk Thursday,
just in case you miss any of the show. They
are truly anointed to talk to couples. They coach couples,
and they just do what God has called them to
do to their purpose, their vision, and their mission. Thank
you so much, Pastor Jamone and Erica Glenn. There's
I have heard men tell me in confidentiality, in private,
the good ones. Right, it's so easy to talk about
the guys that ain't good, that ain't doing that, that
ain't he don't do this, he don't do that. But
the good ones that go to work, that pay the bills,
that lead their family, that step in the gap, that's
just doing what they're supposed to do. That they feel
taken for granted or unseen or unappreciated by their spouse
(00:25):
because they've taken on the responsibility not to be asked,
but to do what it is that they believe that
they should be doing as a good man and as
a good husband. So they've confided in me in that sense.
And then on the other side, ladies who are going,
you know, being at home or going to work and
coming home and taking care of the kids and the
(00:45):
food and the house and all the things, because that
is the expectation of their role in their relationship, they
don't hear a thank you. They don't hear we appreciate it.
They don't hear you know, you know, I really, you know,
thanks for doing that little attention to detail or whatever
it is. Because we can get so caught up in
just doing what we think that we're supposed to be doing.
(01:08):
That people forget to say thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Relationship Talk Thursday continues. It's Thursday. It's that time again.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I'm sewing up Lakey with pastors Damon and Erica Glenn.
Just in case people are listening for the first time,
how would you introduce yourselves? Who would you say that
you all are as a power couple.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
We heard that we are Glenns. Yeah, we are the Glenn's.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
We're a Glen nation and a generational generational breaker.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Okay for marriage, that's.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Good, baby. We are not perfect, but we live on purpose.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And we have learned a lot both through our own
experiences and through our teachers and through people that we've taught,
and we try to share this pool of knowledge and
information so people have successful life in leadership and relationship.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's good.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And now y'all, twenty years in when you can talk
about almost anything, including appreciation, and it's so good. Intentional affection, affirmation,
and presence. You know, I've been married for thirty years. Hey,
oh but.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Congratulations.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
You know, you know sometimes you think you know when
you're a marriage, like you know, that's what you're supposed
to do right your responsibility, but you're saying sometimes that
may not be the case. And men, especially you said
phil unappreciated.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Everybody wants to be known and needed. Okay, everybody wants
to be known and needed, and people want to be
appreciated and never taken for granted. Ladies and gentlemen both do.
And appreciation and attention goes so far. It just goes
(02:50):
so far. It's a way of showing affection. It's low, low, easy,
low level, low hanging fruit, easy affection. It's easy intimacy,
it's simples. It goes so far. And especially depending on
the language of love that the spouse that you're married to,
(03:13):
if it's word of affirmation is one of their main ones,
it goes so far. It does so much. It makes
somebody feel you know, seen, heard, understood, and nobody I
have heard men tell me in confidentiality in private. The
(03:34):
good ones, right, it's so easy to talk about the
guys that ain't good, that ain't doing that, that he
don't do this, he don't do that. But the good
ones that go to work, that pay the bills, that
lead their family, that step in the gap, that's just
doing what they're supposed to do that they feel taken
for granted or unseen or unappreciated by their spouse because
(03:55):
they've taken on the responsibility not to be asked, but
to do what it is that they believe that they
should be doing as a good man and as a
good husband. So they've confided in me in that sense.
And then on the other side, ladies who are going,
you know, being at home or going to work and
coming home and taking care of the kids and the
food and the house and all the things, because that
(04:17):
is the expectation of their role in their relationship, they
don't hear a thank you. They don't hear we appreciate it.
They don't hear you know, you know, I really, you know,
thanks for doing that little attention to detail or whatever
it is. Because we can get so caught up in
just doing what we think that we're supposed to be
doing that people forget to say thank you. And it's
(04:40):
just a human problem. It's something you have to teach children.
It's something God himself say, Hey, where the other what
the other nine people? Only one person came back to
say thank you? All ten of y'all got the same thing.
One person only came back to say thank you, because
we just can take for granted that God is good
just forget to say thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
What we do as women, we do a lot.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I tell husbands all the time that you know, they're like,
I just ask my wife for just one thing, and
I'm like, you don't know the hidden labor that she
has done, the mind labor that she's done for you.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You know, you may not have asked for it.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
But she you know, she put the cup that you
reached for and didn't ask for, you know, like those
kind of things. And so I think, you know, women
sometimes just kind of grow up with the fact that
it's an appreciate, unappreciated, unappreciated space and place. But just
to kind of piggyback on what my husband was saying,
you know, talking about the men feeling that they're not appreciated,
(05:40):
I think sometimes that the people that are supposed to
appreciate them probably came from a place that they were
not shown appreciation to the person. So like if a
woman is raised without a father and she has a husband,
she doesn't really know how to appreciate a man because
she has never had to step into their spaces, So
(06:03):
sometimes you know, yeah, she hadn't seen it.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
She desires it, she prays for it.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
That's what she wants in a husband, that's what she
asks God for, But she doesn't realize that in order
to continue that appreciation, she has to nourish that. So
some of that is just out of ignorance and not intentional.
But I think that when you are the person that
feel when you feel unappreciated in your relationship, you should
(06:28):
say that, you should say something about that.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
And it's because nine times out of.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Ten, I don't want to say nothing because then I
don't feel like it's genuine.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, but it doesn't even matter. It's just to me.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
It's another space and place where your spouse does not
feel heard, and they have to feel heard.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Even when it is not conventional.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
So I think the first thing is just making sure
that when you feel unappreciated that you tell them.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
I tell my kids.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
I let them if I cleaned up the house and
I found all kinds of stuff in your room and
I have to I'm tired. Now everybody has sit at
ktch your table. I just want y'all to know what
I did today because I need you to understand that
you I did not feel appreciated, and I'm not gonna
walk around with that as your mother. I need you
to understand that you made me feel that way, and
(07:15):
I need you to take responsibility for that because this
is also a place for you to learn how to
appreciate people. So it is very important in your relationship
to make sure that you honor on Father's Day, you
honor on Mother's Day, you honor on their birthdays.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You teach your chio.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I see you, I teach my children it's Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
What are y'all doing well? Such and such and such?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
That ain't my daddy My daddy live in Georgia, that
your daddy live in Chicago. You better figure out what
you're supposed to do. And those are those are opportunities
for you to make sure that your spouse feels appreciated,
not just only by you, but also the people that
they're serving in this household.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I think people feel like it's less genuine if I
have to ask for it.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Tell you, that's the only way you're gonna learnt.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I mean, do us feel like that at first? But
so what Yeah, I wish you would, I wish I
shouldn't have to tell you, thank you, Yes, you do
tell tell I have to tell you. I have to
teach you, I have to train you. I have to
tell you what appreciation and affection looks like for me.
And it might feel less genuine at first, but keep
on doing reinerrating what you need, advocating for yourself so
(08:22):
that you can get what you need.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Great topic today from the Power Couple Pastors Demon and
Erica Glenn, who served faithfully as pastors. They're at New
Life with Pastor Hannah. Also they have books, they have
a podcast, and know that you can also listen back
to the conversations we have here on this version thirteen
ninety on the iHeartRadio app Visit podcast. Also on inspirationon
(08:46):
thirteen ninety dot com. You can see Relationship Talk Thursday,
just in case you miss any of the show. They
are truly anointed to talk to couples. They coach couples,
and they just do what God has called them to
do to their purpose, their vision, and their mission. Thank
you so much, Pastor Jamone and Erica Glenn. There's
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