January 18, 2024 • 46 mins
To celebrate Sisanie and Michael's 10 year wedding anniversary - Michael joins she and Erica on the podcast! They detail the *dream* plans they had for the 10th anniversary... and the reality of those plans happening today. Plus, Erica asks the couple questions about marriage, parenthood, and 10 years of parnership.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
So then I said, what aboutbreakfast at Siciny's. Well, that's one
thing we got time to sit back, relax and indulge in your weekly tea.
Welcome to breakfast at Sicins. Well, today is a very special special
day. Hi everybody, it's Sicinyand producer Erica. Hello, and we
(00:20):
are joined today by someone that Ilove very much. It's me Hello.
Well, I guess he just needsno introduction, does not my husband Michael.
I feel like that's where we wouldhave your sound effects that you wanted.
Michael, Yes, yay yy.Do you want to tell everybody why
(00:44):
you're here? Michael? I haveno idea why I'm here, but I'm
assuming it's because it's our anniversary andyou love me, and you've got some
easy things to ask me. Notonly is it our wedding anniversary today,
but it is our tenures. CanI just say it's a little hilarious that
(01:07):
you're like, today's our wedding anniversaryand you're actually recording this podcast in two
different places because I still had tocome into work and we still want to
do our daily lives. Like youknow, our lives don't stop work in
the morning, you know, right, our lives don't stop because it's our
wedding anniversary. And that's what Ithink we quickly realized coming up on this
milestone of an anniversary because when wewere on our honeymoon at Jade Mountain in
(01:34):
Saint Lucia, highly recommend it.Oh, can you just take us back
for a minute, because it wasso nice. Trouble, the Double Trouble.
There was this guy that anyways,it's two guys on the beach and
they one had like hot towels,the other one had like lemon water and
they were Double Trouble and they werecool. They were cool towels because it
(01:56):
was so hot. Remember they werelike in coolers and they like cucumbers.
Just inside jokes of our lives.We'll get around it if you guys can.
It's so cute though. Anywhere laterwe were there at Jade Mountain,
and Jade Mountain is this amazing resortthat actually the Bachelor ended up using in
there one of their seasons, likeafter we had gone, so we feel
(02:19):
like we tipped off the Bachelor people. Yeah, they only have three walls,
that's the thing. So the thirdwall is no wall. It's open
to the it's an open Mountain resortlike sounds everything. It sounds cold when
I say like that. But it'sin Saint Lucia, so it's beautiful tropical.
But got the door and the twowalls on the side, and then
it's completely open and you have viewsof the mountain. Yeah, so there's
(02:43):
all like, yeah, the jademountain of the Petons. And then you
have a net. You have anet over your bed for bugs. Oh,
although there weren't. There weren't insectsor bugs that I saw or anything.
It's like you woke up and therewas all these bugs stuff to the
neck. It wasn't like that,but there. Then we had we had
(03:05):
an infinity pool in the room thatwent off the edge of the mountain and
lounge chairs and we barely ever leftour room, like it was a dream,
like a cloud vacation. So whenwe were there, no, I'm
going to take us there. Letme take the listener there because we'd all
deserve it, especially because Erica justtold me that she experienced her first blizzard
(03:29):
in US. Yeah. Yeah,it was real cold. This week.
It's been a rough go with thesnow. She's been like, oh,
it's been so cute and snowy andbeautiful, and look at my mountains,
they're all covered with snow, andthat she was just like, I had
a white knuckle myself home. Itwas so scary. It was so scary.
But I actually have a question aboutthe honeymoon that I think just like
(03:51):
shows how much things have changed inthe past ten years. Was there any
posting on social media from your trip, any capturing it to make a real
like I don't know that we madea real obviously, no, because real
back then we're ten minutes, Ithink, so he didn't exist. You
had a professional do it. Butwe did post on Instagram. I don't
(04:15):
know that I posted in live time. There was no live There's maybe some
pictures here and there. I meaninternet was okay, there was internet.
There was no I'm saying internet atthat island. We didn't know what Wi
Fi was. Yeah, I'll tellyou this. This is this is what
(04:35):
I remember, because I remember takingpictures of your food was kind of just
becoming a thing, pictures of ourburgers and all this, and it's kind
of just we were in the middlelike should we do this or should we
just eat? You know, wehad it. Yeah, we took a
picture of everything that was put onour table before we ate it, because
(04:57):
it was really beautiful. It waslike art and yeah, but this place
was incredible. There was a assistantor butler if you want to say,
that came with our suite and whenwe first arrived. Yeah, when we
first arrived, he was like,would you like me to unpack for you?
And I was like what, yes, Like, no people do that,
(05:17):
don't touch Yeah, I guess thesome people do they get, they
have them unpacked for them. Also, I brought some very questionable outfits for
you know, because sexy timees resonatewith Erica? Is that a word that
she knows? And only because ofyou guys, do I know Jony's and
only because of you guys really talkingabout your children's underwear? I feel I
(05:42):
actually do only call the kids underwear. I don't call them my Yeah.
I guess you're okay. Yeah.So when we're there and we were tooking
like sailboat rides, bike rides throughthe mountain, all these beautiful things,
right, all these activities, wesaid, God chocolate and that part was
like math for me. Rough,Yeah, any educational type of tour.
(06:05):
So I'm like, there's a lot. Anyways, we said I cannot wait
to come back here, and wow, we should do it for our fifth
anniversity and we're like that's way toosoon. We're like, okay, our
tenth, our tenth anniversary, weare doing it. We're going to be
there. Yeah, and and nowe're not. It's not happening. And
that's what I was telling you.You're like, oh, you guys are
(06:26):
in separate places right now and this, and I was like, yeah,
it's because I'm at work right now. He's at the house because I pick
up the kids in the next liketen minutes, and so this is life
and so our life. We couldhave done it. We just bought a
house instead, like that was thedeal. Like, you know, we
were in Hawaii and we're like,do we want to put an offer on
(06:46):
this house and ruin the rest ofour vacation? We said yes, And
I'm like okay, well, andthis is how this is the short.
This is wife math for you orwhatever, right, like girl math,
but white girl why math? Right? Yeah, it's okay. If we
get this house now, then wewon't do any vacations and then we won't
be expensive for Christmas, and thenyou know, we're not going to do
(07:10):
all these future things that we alreadyprobably can't afford. And then once you
bag the thing that you want anda couple of weeks have passed by,
then it's like, what are wedoing for Christmas? What are we doing
for our family trip? Why aren'twe going anywhere for our anniversary? What
are we doing for my fortieth?What are we doing for my fortieth?
We bought a house, Yeah Iknow, but that's in the past.
(07:34):
We have the house now, sowhat are we doing that being said,
we're very mellow doing a lunch.We're going to lunch today. Well,
no, it's a it's a it'sa liner. It is a linner.
What time is this meal? Butthat's really bordering on lunch, my dude.
(08:00):
Okay, but it's it's Malibu andthe sun sets at five totally,
you know, and that's a lenner. It's fine. And then we were
like, of course, last minute, I was like, okay, well
you know what, now I kindof do want to get away and do
something just the two of us becausewe've done everything with the kids leading up
(08:20):
like this whole week. They wereoff school on Monday, so it was
like a three day weekend with them, love them, but you know,
it's becoming more expensive. If wewould have just gone to Jade Mountain at
this point, we should have justit's just broken up into mini Wait what
are you doing with the kids.Well, so yeah, we already basically
secured our nanny to like help outwith the kids this weekend, and then
(08:45):
the past weekend. You're forgetting thispast weekend we went out to twice twice.
Well the first time we for thefirst time we forgot Skippy. This
is the kids that the doll youtake from school. We're getting sidetracked.
Anyways, little stuffed animal that Maxand got to spend a week with.
(09:09):
And so oh it was very sadthat we went down to this really nice
dinner and he didn't He forgot tobring Skippy. And so then I was
like, we can come back herefor brunch or something. We did two
days. It's been five six days, three meals a day. That's you
know, so uh what I said, five to three wonderful. Probably three
(09:30):
meals weren't out. We went tobrunch, we went to breakfast, we
went to dinner. I mean,it's it's fun. I think the first
half of the week was great becauseour anniversary landed on a Thursday this year,
so it's like whatever, Yeah,but I think the first half of
the week was great, kind ofspending it with the family, showing the
kids our wedding video, which theyhave never seen. We didn't do the
long we have like a hour anda half movie portion of the Oh wow,
(09:54):
it's honestly great. It sounds likehorrible to just to be like,
oh my gosh, but it's sowell produced. It's almost like you're watching
our own little movie about ourselves.And then they did like a four minute
sizzle reel of our wedding, andso that's the one that we showed the
kids and they loved it, exceptfor the parts that we were kissing.
They thought that was gross, butoh well, really hard kiss to daddy,
(10:20):
It wasn't hard. I feel weirdabout you talking about a hard kiss.
Maybe I'm one of your children.I mean, I kind of it
was like, Michael, you cankiss the bride type of thing, and
then I just went for it forme. Yeah, and who's going to
just peck? It's like your weddingday wasn't gonna be like oh, like
(10:41):
I went in there and then likeI held it because I know that they're
snapping pictures. I gave the audiencewhat they wanted, you know, get
the shot. Thinking about the photos, Michael, I know, I know.
Anyways, it was really cute,though. I will say last night
we played them our wedding song,which is raylem On sang you are the
Best Thing, and then we allended up dancing in the playroom together,
(11:07):
like holding the kids hands and theyjust wanted to dance to it and all
this stuff. And so it wasreally full circle to be dancing ten years
ago at our first dance to thatsong, and then now ten years later
with our own kids, three ofthem, three of them. Wow,
yeah, I've been busy. Sothen what are you doing just the two
(11:30):
of you? Now you say there'ssomething added. We were trying to get
away for like a night and thenbut do like a whole weekend, like
where you leave in the morning,but you still don't check intil later and
like maybe do spas or something likethat. But the weather's putting a little
bit of a monkey wrench in it, if you ask me. There's always
something Michael's faces so like, what, well, it's just like, you
(11:50):
know, we can't you got anevent that you know, a good event?
Right? You agree to on Friday, so we if we do go
somewhere, it's like nine o'clock onFriday night, or then you do something
Saturday, it's gonna rain. Can'tgo over there for long because you gotta
work on Monday. So now we'relike, I can't fly anywhere anywhere so
(12:13):
much. You know, we're happy. We'll just leave it at that.
Okay, We'll see where the windtakes us. I'm Michael very much happy.
I'm happy. I'm happy. I'mhappy. I'm happy. You're happy,
you're happy. Okay, I justjust you know, every new day
we're gonna have to we're gonna figureit out eventually. Let's get through today
(12:37):
right the day. I think it'sgonna be nice. There's some things up
my sleeve that you don't know about. I love good surprise. I see.
That's why it's so I think frustratingfor guys because like when guys try
and do something, and they're tryingto do something and then you know,
obviously your wife wants more, shedeserves more, but it's trying to balance
(12:58):
like are you are you still gonnawant more? After Thursday. I mean,
the answer is yes. I don'teven know why I'm saying this,
so never mind. I see.Sometimes you just have to talk it out.
And now you realize you came topod pod therapy. Thank you.
But we always want more and ifthey if you ever doubt it as a
stupid thing to doubt when in dowgo big. So we'll figure it out.
(13:22):
Here's a question, whose responsibility isit to plan the anniversary because that's
a complex one. But you wereinvolved. Defaulted to me when it's defaulted
to me, and it's impossible becauseI have so many restrictions. Restrictions I
means, like I can't go like, let's let's do it the first weekend,
(13:46):
and then let's let's not do itthe first weekend, and then let's
do it the second weekend, butthen I can't do it on Friday,
and then oh yeah, anyways,it's tough. Okay, everyone, I'm
happy. Sometimes it becomes something that'svery simple to do and just be like,
oh, let's do this, andlet's then that's what we're going to
(14:09):
celebrate, right. But I thinkit's a little bit more complicated now with
kids, in the sense that itis the middle of the school year,
so it's not like we can justget up and travel somewhere. We'd have
to completely plan that, and that'skind of where we're at. So yeah,
i'd say the complication is like that. Sicini does not like surprises,
(14:31):
so surprises, but I want itgood surprises, right, So so that's
hard and so then we have toplan things. And then when you plan
things, you get like opinions andback and forth, and then you land
where we're at today. Now,granted we weren't going to do something because
we bought a house, but thenwe've got to do something because it's our
(14:54):
tenure, right, So yeah,it's like, you know, here we
go. Hey, I have anidea. There's this big giant bowl of
questions that Erica has produced or provided. What's the word I'm looking for,
prepared? Thank you? Prepared?Yeah, that's the word sounds right.
(15:16):
So why don't you pull one ofthese out and will we'll answer some of
these questions before our linener before yourlenner. Okay, perfect, let's see.
Can you pinpoint which year was theeasiest and which year would have been
the most challenging each of you?I want your own answers, Oh,
(15:37):
who wants to go first? Jesus? Okay, writing down? Are you
looking at you? I need nothere so you have a I'm just right.
The easiest, I'm the hardest year. Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, of the ten years,obviously, you know a lot has been
years and there, not fifteen together, ten years married, not fifteen together?
Correct? Okay? If I hadto guess, I cannot guessing.
(16:03):
You're giving me an answer based onfacts. Okay, The easiest would probably
be our first year of marriage.I feel like that's the whole reason the
term like honeymoon phase and all thatstuff, it comes from that. That
being said. The hardest for me, it's probably Mmm, this sounds crazy,
(16:38):
but I think it might. Iknow, because I don't know if
it's hard with kids versus like thechallenges that we should be like. The
words are hardest and easiest, notthe best, okay, okay, or
it's actually easiest and most challenging.And I gotta say twenty eighteen was a
(17:03):
hard year, but not in abad way, because I feel like so
much good still came from that year. But I say that twins were born.
The twins were born in twenty eighteen. But the reason I say like
hardest is because I know that itwas such a huge adjustment for us to
go from ten years being together,because that was ten years for us ish
(17:27):
we met No. Nine with nokids, and then all of a sudden
becoming parents, you know, totwins, to twins, so not sleeping.
There was like probably a lot ofarguments that year, you know,
all that stuff. And in addition, I had a really tough pregnancy,
like at towards the end, andwe had them early, which we knew
(17:51):
would probably happen, But after that, I was I was personally more depressed.
So I think that affected our marriage, if that makes any sense,
Because I went through them and Iwent through all that stuff, half my
face went paralyzed. So it's liketotally I think all of that factored in
with we're new parents to twins,and we're also yeah, like four year,
(18:15):
four and a half years into ourmarriage, So what do we really
know about a true partnership now asparents now? As like we're just learning
the ebbs and flows of like whattype of dad he's going to be,
Like what I am as a mom? Like I remember like he was so
hands on and this is like waygoing on, way too long, but
(18:36):
I will button it up. Rightafter this, he was so hands on
with the twins because he was tryingto take some of the burden off of
me because I had just you know, delivered them and whatnot that it actually
had a negative impact on me,Like I was I was taking it personal,
like yeah, yeah, yeah,Like it was almost like I am
their mom, like let me bethe mom, like let me let me
(18:57):
hold them more. It was justlike it's almost interesting win. I know,
it's really and it's like a finedance that you have to figure out.
And that's why I feel like maybesome people throw in the towel early
when it comes to marriage because it'slike, well, forget it, you're
a bitch, like you know,and Michael never did that with me.
I think, like, you know, your patience throughout the all, especially
(19:18):
that year, goes to show likewhy we're here now, Mike anything else?
You know, this is breakfast atSI's, so grab your tea.
And I think he's so silly.I'm super thilly. Okay. I am
(19:40):
struggling with the easiest year because likeeasy and I don't mean that in a
bad way. I'm just trying tofigure out bitch common. I mean,
because if I think about like easiest, it could be two ways. You
know. I kind of like Sicany'sfirst year thought. But I'm almost like
(20:03):
on the thinking like this last yearwas our easiest and and and that's just
because I feel like the harder partsget fewer and far between, but they're
still there and they can't be ignoredand you have to keep like working at
It's a relationship, right, Imean, I feel like I've been using
(20:26):
sports analogies for too many times withlike championship teams. It's like you don't
just like, you know, doit again the next year without work,
and so there's always an element tothat. But I feel like we're still
growing within ourselves and building off ofthat. So it seems like every year,
as long as we're both kind ofstill committed, which feels like we
(20:48):
are, it gets easier. Fromthat sense from them, I guess I'm
maybe a marriage perspective, because theneighteen, I agree was the hardest year
of my life. I think itwas also the best year of my life.
I want to say twenty eighteen,I turned thirty two, which is
(21:11):
also like remember now I'm saying thisto myself. I guess thirty two is
like my number, my lucky number. We had the twins, I got
promoted, Like you know, itwas twenty eighteen was a great year,
the hardest year of my life.And I'll separate the hard things that were
happening from being a director and afather, but specifically on the marriage side,
(21:33):
it's like to what Cistiny said,it's like you're navigating these new relationships
with your kids and and like youcan only do so much at a time.
So is it like you kind ofpause so you can really focus on
your kids relationships or you're going backand forth. You know, I don't
and I don't know what these timeperiods are. It's a day, it's
(21:55):
a week, it's a month,you know. But we go too long
and you're focusing on your kids orwhatever. Then you're neglecting each other.
And it's like that whole thing withdate nights and and then trying to reconnect.
Yeah, and when is it when? You know, when is rest?
When is like we got to doit. My body was out of
commission for half that year, youknow. Yeah, and so I you
know, physically and also mentally didn'twant to necessarily get completely naked and start
(22:22):
having sex all the time. Likeit was just like that's all that shit
affects relationships and marriage and things thatyou just have to have patience, I
guess throughout the whole process, andand it's a lot of it's a lot
of mental growth. I think havingkids for everyone involved, when you go
through something like that that it's likehell week from like sports, and you
(22:48):
just get stronger. You're like,look what we did. But I think
those are crucial moments in marriages whereyou have to really find ways to truly
reconnect with with each other and tryand not put anybody in a specific role
or a definition of who they arewho they should be, because we're also
trying to find ourselves throughout your lifetogether or not. So kind of all
(23:14):
that to get all that, allthat you know in one man was a
loaded question. What else you I'mso sorry. Let's see what has changed
the most in ten years of marriage? So like from the day you got
married to today, what's the mostdifferent about your relationship? Probably being parents
Based on that line, I thinkI think I think we fought a lot
(23:38):
more in our early years of dating, so before we were even engaged.
Uh and so, and we don'tfight like that at all anymore. It's
rare that Michael and I will getinto like a heated argument. I mean,
you guys were young, you metyoung. Yes, time we fight.
(24:03):
Of arguing, I would say,I would say, the I I
change what I fight about and whatI care to fight about. I guess
in a way, I'm like,I'm sorry to understand the reason behind the
pick your battles and why. Andthen she's always right things right, So
(24:27):
because I I kind of went intothe marriage with like, hey, I'm
totally understanding of this, but likeshe always has to be right, Like
how is that kind of work?Like like you know, and you still
marry her so not knowing you know. But and then there's the other side
where it's like, well, youknow, are you just gonna neglect yourself
and what you care about, whatyou believe in? So I'd say,
(24:48):
like, how I communicate and consistentlyworking on communication and working on your listening
is what I feel like I've changed. And it's but it takes a very
long time because changing is really hardand you have to do it yourself.
Yeah, like humble about it.It could be like it could hurt your
feelings and then you got to getback to like, Okay, how do
I become a better person? Well, we're raising our kids and they what
(25:15):
do they say? I don't knowthe term, but it's basically like you
you find out who you really arethrough like having children. You know,
it's like almost like you see youryour own true colors sometimes in the way
in them, in them, andso then you're like, holy crap,
like because some of the stuff,it's like, Okay, they're born with
the genetics, but then all theother stuff they're learning from us. So
(25:37):
if they start learning any sort ofbad qualities, that's on us. That's
on me. That's me as amom, and that's me as my own
my own temper, my own thingsthat I'm trying to sow. I think
having children and just trying to notI guess reflects such negativity or anything like
that around them has been the biggestchange for me. Let me give you.
(26:00):
I used to kind of chase youknow, the whole the whole thing
about don't go to bed angry andall that. I feel like I used
to chase the argument more frequently earlier. Oh my gosh, let's get to
the get to the end. Andit's not like I still like but what
I found now is like I needto give her more space, like let
her even if she's sad or evenif I'm wrong or I you know,
(26:21):
I want to feel better by hearingthe apology, like give the space,
give the time, still not goto bed angry and work through it,
but not like just so much onit because I before I used to just
like be so confused, like youknow, I didn't say all these things
like why would you be feeling thator whatnot? And then I see,
you know, my daughter Asa.I go in and I tell her to
(26:45):
go brush her teeth before I couldtuck her into bed and uh. And
so then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go tuck Max and in.
And then she comes out and shesees me tucking in Max and she's
like, you're tucking in Max andyou don't love me, and she just
don't off and leaves. I'm like, what I didn't say that, I
didn't do that, and why doyou know? Yeah, she goes to
(27:06):
like the negative and I was like, I wonder where she gets that from?
Horrifying to yourself. Reflected, Yeah, I think what that means is
like you can never really no matteryou can do, like try and be
a saint and angel and whatever,and there's going to be something that's going
to trigger somebody else and it justsometimes people need to get there themselves,
(27:26):
figure out why they got there,or they just need space. So I
gave her space, you know whatI mean. And when I learned from
maxim it's just like what you're hearingnow, It's just like he talks a
lot, and I'm like, ohmy gosh, that was like the best
teacher conference. Like I never feltso validated like ever in my life.
What did they say? Well,they basically were like, you have a
(27:47):
great son and super smart, buthe interrupts me all the time and always
has the answer and always wants totalk over me and always wants to do
this and this and that. AndI was like literally just looking at Michael
and I was just like, thisis a persent, you bro. Yeah
I know, Yeah, that's whoI married. So so yeah, anyways,
(28:10):
I guess yeah, I think thebiggest thing is that we just are
evolving and hopefully becoming better humans toeach other. And then as parents.
Gosh, it sounds like a lot. Ten years emerge sounds like a lot.
You know, it's so fun.It is. It is a really
fun roller coaster. Yeah, okay, next question, looking back, is
(28:30):
there anything differently you would do aboutyour wedding or do with your wedding?
Yes? I know my answer.WHOA, I had time, had a
really nice time. I hope itis not me. Do you want to
go first or do you want meto go first? Something? I guess.
(28:52):
Okay, I already know my answer. I was very A few things
I really had it, like timeto prepare. But no, our wedding
was beautiful. I still think,hands down, I'm biased one of the
best weddings I've ever attended. Thatbeing said, I am still a little
pissed that we never did an afterparty. What Okay, I wasn't expecting
(29:15):
that answer. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, this is I am totally
fine with this. This is ridiculous. This is totally siciny. And I
actually was worried about this for awedding that sisany was gonna want to go
out afterwards to a club and keeppartying and then we'll get carry her back
(29:38):
to sweet that she won't even seeand then we'll just leave in the morning
and just be like, what thefuck just happened? No stop. What
Michael really is trying to say isthat he wanted to have sex on her
wedding night. Fine, and ifwould have had some sort of thing,
and I get it, and Idid too in theory, sure, but
(29:59):
his and then you're like, I'mgonna go to sleep. I get it.
I'm with you, Like I think, looking back, it would have
been super sad if we didn't havesex on our wedding night, Like one
hundred percent, I'm glad we theway turned out for us to go back.
We went to a different hotel thanwhere our guests were staying at,
and we had our very own almostlike little mini honeymoon on our wedding night,
(30:21):
just the two of us. Hotelthat we exist. The hotel that
we picked happened to have a reallydope nightclub that was like popping And when
we showed up in our just marriedlimo and this like brideing group comes out
and like all the people that arewaiting in line to go into the club
were like, oh my gosh,like yelling at us, like congratulations,
(30:44):
Like it looks so cool and sowhatever. We checked into the hotel,
like and our in my wedding dressand like his textedo, and we look
super like it's just like out ofa movie, right, And we go
into our bedroom and we do oursexy time and then afterwards, I was
like, damn, it would bereally cool if we had a table downstairs
with all of our friends and wecould go now and party. Since you
(31:07):
got the sex done, sis,there's no way if your friends were waiting
downstairs at a table that you wouldhave been like, let's go, you
know, bang it out literally andthen come back downstairs. We have four
at other people's weddings. Wow,that's suppressing. We did. We did
it at John and Daniel's wedding becausehe's the same thing. Went up to
(31:30):
the room, had sex, andthen come came down and then partied with
everybody afterwards. Yeah, but thoseare like those are like spontaneous moments of
gold, Like you can't you can'tplan for it. I can't plan those.
That's like serious, and then youdon't ask questions and then you show
up to work. I'm just saying, look, this was my answer,
Like she asked the question, andthis is why, Well, we would
(31:52):
have been differently. I wish wehad it after party. That's all,
Okay, that's great, it's yours. What he would have done differently or
changed or anything that you would haveor did anything go wrong? You know
what I would have I would havedone is it's small, but I would
have had our efficient not try andspeak Spanish and I would have given it
(32:15):
to one of our relatives to read. Yeah, asked and we're like,
oh, do you speak Spanish?He said yeah, he's like yeah,
yeah, but we forgot to runit by and we forgot to be like
how much and then we hear ityeah, and then we give him like,
hey, can you just read thisSpanish thing in Spanish? And it's
like great, but then you can, you know, you can hear the
(32:37):
English consonants in his pronunciation right,and it made it It just made it
completely unnecessary. I've been looking back. It makes me laugh every time.
So I don't know I would Idon't know that I would have changed that.
Yeah, yeah, tbd. AndI probably would have invited a few
people that like we forgot to invite, unlike forgot not my family's side,
(33:01):
but like like my I had likea nanny like when I was a kid,
and like, I still blame mydad. I've still never seen her
to this day. So oh,fairs that exists. That's fair, that's
fair, that's fair. But Ifeel like we should again a lot of
the people on my dad's list,who where are they now? And so
(33:22):
it was the same thing, butI kind of like blame my dad.
I was like, this was yourlittle more of your dad's friends than I
do of your nanny. I'll tellyou that, I'm fine whatever, And
maybe my dance teacher a few ofthem from the past, you know what.
It is? The way people makewedding lists is hilarious to me.
So that's a whole other another time. What else you got? We'll be
(33:44):
helping you soon. So oh Ican't wait. I mean, yeah,
I'm not going to deny that.So do you want to do that?
You want to get married? Andit would you get married in an airport?
No? I love the idea ofit. There has to be something
airport theme though, totally guys,because you know where you could get married
beautiful mm hmmm where you know whatI'm gonna say, Michael uh Petroc Uh
(34:09):
no, the Singapore, the Singaporeairport. I'm not Singapore airport. Get
up. Have you looked at jewel? Have you heard of the jewel When
you guys went, I saw lotsof photos and videos. I don't even
the jewel wasn't finished. It's atext water you too. We are getting
(34:30):
off track. I appreciate your interestin my life. We can do this
on another podcast, you know,in the future when I have a ring
on my finger. But tiger AnyWho, let's see what well here, what
advice would you each give to someonegetting married today or soon get married in
(34:52):
the Singapore airport? Elope and saveyour money? You just said there was
nothing you would change about. No, yeah, you're right, that was
great. I know, I know, I just I say that. I
only say that because I feel likeweddings are triple the cost of what ours
cost ten years ago. Is thisadvice for a wedding? Advice for this
(35:15):
is marriage advice? Okay, marriageadvice for someone entering a marriage today?
Cliche? But communicate? What else? Make sure that you're well. If
you're already married, it's too late. But I would say I think there's
(35:37):
an importance to having your family's meshWell, it's I think it's toxic when
somebody on either side of the familydoesn't mesh well with your husband, your
boyfriend, or your girlfriend or Beyonceor whatever, and there's just like tension.
(35:58):
So I would work out that withyour partner, not necessarily mesh with
each other's families, no mess,mess with your mess with your partner.
Work work on the family relationship asmuch as the personal relationship. And I
yeah, I feel like a familyrelationship is important. I feel like it's
toxic when a family member doesn't eitherapprove of the relationship or or you know,
(36:22):
And so I would just really it'snot my answer, but to kind
of second that, you know whatI've seen being here for you know,
years and years and years. Right, it's just like anything that you think
you're just going to try and avoidor just like it never works. It
never gets better. Thanksgivings, birthdayparties, the kids' lives, and when
you have kids, it gets morecomplicated because then they're cool with people and
(36:43):
they're not cool with you. Likework work on your family relationship for sure,
yeah, because that's when they're way. We was really fortunate with us,
is that like we our families messedsuper well together, got it okay,
Like I'm cool with her mom andI'm cool with her dad, and
I'm cool with her brothers and awkwardif it wasn't like it would be so
(37:06):
totally like every time I'd have togo over to Michael's parents house if I
didn't get along with his parents orget along with one of his siblings or
whatever it was, you know.And so that's the type of stuff that
I just feel as if I couldn'timagine being in a situation like that.
So if you have, it's likeset it aside, whatever beef it is,
like talk it out, like getto the bottom of it, like
it's there's because by the ways,like it's gonna it's gonna wear on you
(37:27):
and it's going to take years offyour life. Yeah, Michael, I
would say, I'd say talk aboutor work out like the hard things up
front, Like don't avoid difficult conversationsand things because you think it's going to
ruin the relationship or you know youyou might break up or you know,
(37:50):
like you're afraid to do it,but you know it'll ruin the wedding or
whatever it is. Because I thinkwhat you just start doing is you start
pushing it off and you start compilinglife, and then it starts taking a
toll on you. And then andthen it's just you get backed up on
things that you need to explain ortalk to to other people. I think
the good thing about being vulnerable andtalking through your tough things earlier on is
(38:15):
then you can then build off ofthem and you can show that, look,
we've been able to get through thisand and and through each stage of
that, you kind of confess yourcommitment to each other if you will,
or you affirm your you reaffirm yourcommitment, and like, you know what
kind of partner you are in termsof throughout that and listening to that so
(38:37):
you know whatever you know your fearsare, or you know whatever it is
you're looking for in your relationship orwhatever it is that's important to you,
Like just don't ignore things and letthem faster, get them out and talk
to them earlierating working on your communicationis gonna it's you're gonna you live your
(38:58):
whole life trying to figure it out. So it's okay that you're figuring it
out every year with your partner,because it's it's very hard. One final
question one final Okay, I'm justgonna pick my favorite of what's left?
Um ooh, here we go inwhat ways did the twins change your relationship
(39:22):
in that moment? And then whatabout the third baby saveya? Did that
have the same effect the twins changedus the minute we found out we were
having twins. True, it's like, not only are we going to become
parents, we're gonna be twin parents. So I I wouldn't say change,
(39:47):
but like I realized that Michael isalways going to be the ones time.
This sounds intense, but it wasn'tthis bad. I was I thinking Michael
was always the one to talk melike off the ledge. And I don't
mean that like I was like reallylike like when you got like nervous exactly,
like but down exactly. But likethe men and I found out we
(40:07):
were having twins, I spiraled andI was like, uh, we need
to move, we need to dothis. We can't afford them, we
can Like I just like I wentto like the net and he was just
like it's gonna be okay, We'regonna be fine. We will adjusted.
And I was like, okay,okay, sandwiches sandwiches for the rest of
our lives. And so I thinkin that sense it I don't know if
(40:32):
that, you know, changed usin whatever way, but it was what
it was, and with Savellah,it's just a beautiful addition. Like that's
like the I couldn't imagine our worldwithout her. Was it easier because you
already had too? What was whatwas the third that it has its moments?
(40:52):
I think yes, and no.We were we were a little spoiled
with the twins even though we hadtwo at the same time, we had
a night for them, and sothat oh yeah, you know, we
wiped out our savings and freaking wentall in on that night nurse. Night
night nurse was equivalent to having oneblow up life saver on one arm and
(41:14):
the other one is still flat,because it was just enough to be like,
yeah, to keep your head abovewater. Yeah, And so as
save we did not do a nightnurse because we were like, we what,
we don't need one. We werekind of like cocky, you know,
We're like we got this well,baby, well knew we knew what
we had to get to, whichyea like three to four months through the
(41:36):
night and then like and just justone, and it's like we got some
help in the family because we alreadyhad a nanny. I think we can
figure this out. Let's go forit. And we did, and we
figured out the schedule because I thinkwith us at me being on attorney to
leave for the good first chunk ofthat, I was able to do like
the late night feedings and he wasable to sleep, and then he would
(41:57):
get up and do like the fouram one and then I would sleep in
until five. And it's like wejust figured it out. Yeah, So
so is that your answer. Idon't know if that was a good answer.
I don't know if he answered yourquestion. Uh change, Yeah,
how it changed your relationship? Imean you just kind of you had to
learn how to figure it out.Sounds like, I, oh, how
the baby. How you're saying,how maybe change a relationship? I guess
(42:22):
because yeah, this anniversary that isbeing married. Huh. So that's I
would say, Yeah, they puta big damper. We're not on Jade
Mountain right now because of the shoot. I'd say, like, you know,
when you become a parent and youstart making the connections to like the
misconceptions you have, you know,when you don't know something and then you
know something you're like, oh,I had no idea, I get it
(42:44):
now. So I think that showedme to judge less one between other parents,
you know, just like because thisis really fricking hard. There's so
much behind the scenes stuff that's like, Okay, I totally get it now,
you're just like you're in the clubnow you get it. But and
then it kind of trickles back andit doesn't happen instantly, but I think
it happens more and more over time. And that's also just like with your
(43:06):
partner, how how they're parenting,how you're parenting, you know, just
kind of supporting them because you know, I'm sure sisany has her ways.
And I'll come back, you know, at the end of the day from
you know, work or wherever,if I'm gone somewhere, and it's like,
you know what, this is howshe got through the day, and
that's freaking fine, and you know, and she'll come back and like,
this is how I got through theday. And you know, it wasn't
(43:27):
the manual, but I survived.And it's because and used to start respecting
that more, you start judging less. I think that's what took away from
me, the twins the most,and not instantly, but I think over
the years more and more with workingon it, working on ourselves and working
on how we're raising them, youknow, judge judge less, I think
what Saveya taught me was too careless, not about humans, but like
(43:53):
it's just never perfect, super superficialstuff mm hmm, superficial or just the
it's your even though it's our thirdbaby, it's our second pregnancy, so
our second child. If you wereour second, go wow, sure,
like you're not as worried about pregnancyor you're not, You're just not.
(44:14):
You know they always say like thesecond child or the third child or whatever,
it's just more care free. Youknow, they're dirtier, right they
They're just kind of we take morerisks. I'm not so like worried about
like Surveya falling down, Like yeah, her scratching her knee is gonna be
good for her to figure things out. You know. With the kids,
I don't think I showed them firefor two years, you know, like
(44:34):
stay away showed them fire just youknow, you're just so protective, but
you find out they'll they'll be okay, and so well, it's been quite
the tall and we managed to doit all with a pandemic death smack in
the middle. Michael. You guys, I'm going to send this podcast to
any of my friends getting married,so I don't really have any but like,
(44:59):
this is Oh, this was sogood. I feel like I learned
a lot about my own relationship andhearing you guys talk about yours really wow.
I just I think this is awesome. I'm excited to see what people
have to say about it. Also. Lastly, last thing I'll say is
a happy ten year anniversary to usto Sney because I started working for you
right before your wedding. You know. It's one of those things where I'm
(45:24):
just like, gosh, if Ionly would have known and you can know.
But that's okay, yeah, crazyten years We will ten years win
though literally on our honeymoon, likeoh fab yeah after so close enough to
the wedding, but not not earlylike a week. Yeah, I started
(45:44):
working for you like the week beforeyour wedding, so we didn't know each
other. Yeah. No. Ihad like one time like hi, this
is the intern Erica and I waslike yeah, yeah, yeah, hi,
yeah, yeah, I'll never seeyou again. Here we are three
months, you know, very veryhard to break through those interns. We
get so many, like twenty ina year. There's just like there's only
(46:04):
a few funny stuck around here.You are, Yeah, here I am.
It's been a pleasure being friend adjacentto you, Erica for you're my
friend, Michael, don't call mea friend adjacent, Oh my gosh.
But anyway, thank you guys forsharing so much. You really got like
real there, so I appreciate that. I hope I get real every week,
but I would say more than everin these last forty six minutes.
(46:29):
Well there we go. Yeah,I guess you know. Happy anniversary,
you guys. It's real life,all right. Next week it'll just,
I guess be Next week it'll bean unreal, boring podcast. You gotta
go drink and eat. Yeah,get to your Lennen. Yes, you
gotta go and make that senior citizenspecial. Sure we're the first ones there.
(46:51):
Okay, bye,
So then I said, what aboutbreakfast at Siciny's. Well, that's one
thing we got time to sit back, relax and indulge in your weekly tea.
Welcome to breakfast at Sicins. Well, today is a very special special
day. Hi everybody, it's Sicinyand producer Erica. Hello, and we
(00:20):
are joined today by someone that Ilove very much. It's me Hello.
Well, I guess he just needsno introduction, does not my husband Michael.
I feel like that's where we wouldhave your sound effects that you wanted.
Michael, Yes, yay yy.Do you want to tell everybody why
(00:44):
you're here? Michael? I haveno idea why I'm here, but I'm
assuming it's because it's our anniversary andyou love me, and you've got some
easy things to ask me. Notonly is it our wedding anniversary today,
but it is our tenures. CanI just say it's a little hilarious that
(01:07):
you're like, today's our wedding anniversaryand you're actually recording this podcast in two
different places because I still had tocome into work and we still want to
do our daily lives. Like youknow, our lives don't stop work in
the morning, you know, right, our lives don't stop because it's our
wedding anniversary. And that's what Ithink we quickly realized coming up on this
milestone of an anniversary because when wewere on our honeymoon at Jade Mountain in
(01:34):
Saint Lucia, highly recommend it.Oh, can you just take us back
for a minute, because it wasso nice. Trouble, the Double Trouble.
There was this guy that anyways,it's two guys on the beach and
they one had like hot towels,the other one had like lemon water and
they were Double Trouble and they werecool. They were cool towels because it
(01:56):
was so hot. Remember they werelike in coolers and they like cucumbers.
Just inside jokes of our lives.We'll get around it if you guys can.
It's so cute though. Anywhere laterwe were there at Jade Mountain,
and Jade Mountain is this amazing resortthat actually the Bachelor ended up using in
there one of their seasons, likeafter we had gone, so we feel
(02:19):
like we tipped off the Bachelor people. Yeah, they only have three walls,
that's the thing. So the thirdwall is no wall. It's open
to the it's an open Mountain resortlike sounds everything. It sounds cold when
I say like that. But it'sin Saint Lucia, so it's beautiful tropical.
But got the door and the twowalls on the side, and then
it's completely open and you have viewsof the mountain. Yeah, so there's
(02:43):
all like, yeah, the jademountain of the Petons. And then you
have a net. You have anet over your bed for bugs. Oh,
although there weren't. There weren't insectsor bugs that I saw or anything.
It's like you woke up and therewas all these bugs stuff to the
neck. It wasn't like that,but there. Then we had we had
(03:05):
an infinity pool in the room thatwent off the edge of the mountain and
lounge chairs and we barely ever leftour room, like it was a dream,
like a cloud vacation. So whenwe were there, no, I'm
going to take us there. Letme take the listener there because we'd all
deserve it, especially because Erica justtold me that she experienced her first blizzard
(03:29):
in US. Yeah. Yeah,it was real cold. This week.
It's been a rough go with thesnow. She's been like, oh,
it's been so cute and snowy andbeautiful, and look at my mountains,
they're all covered with snow, andthat she was just like, I had
a white knuckle myself home. Itwas so scary. It was so scary.
But I actually have a question aboutthe honeymoon that I think just like
(03:51):
shows how much things have changed inthe past ten years. Was there any
posting on social media from your trip, any capturing it to make a real
like I don't know that we madea real obviously, no, because real
back then we're ten minutes, Ithink, so he didn't exist. You
had a professional do it. Butwe did post on Instagram. I don't
(04:15):
know that I posted in live time. There was no live There's maybe some
pictures here and there. I meaninternet was okay, there was internet.
There was no I'm saying internet atthat island. We didn't know what Wi
Fi was. Yeah, I'll tellyou this. This is this is what
(04:35):
I remember, because I remember takingpictures of your food was kind of just
becoming a thing, pictures of ourburgers and all this, and it's kind
of just we were in the middlelike should we do this or should we
just eat? You know, wehad it. Yeah, we took a
picture of everything that was put onour table before we ate it, because
(04:57):
it was really beautiful. It waslike art and yeah, but this place
was incredible. There was a assistantor butler if you want to say,
that came with our suite and whenwe first arrived. Yeah, when we
first arrived, he was like,would you like me to unpack for you?
And I was like what, yes, Like, no people do that,
(05:17):
don't touch Yeah, I guess thesome people do they get, they
have them unpacked for them. Also, I brought some very questionable outfits for
you know, because sexy timees resonatewith Erica? Is that a word that
she knows? And only because ofyou guys, do I know Jony's and
only because of you guys really talkingabout your children's underwear? I feel I
(05:42):
actually do only call the kids underwear. I don't call them my Yeah.
I guess you're okay. Yeah.So when we're there and we were tooking
like sailboat rides, bike rides throughthe mountain, all these beautiful things,
right, all these activities, wesaid, God chocolate and that part was
like math for me. Rough,Yeah, any educational type of tour.
(06:05):
So I'm like, there's a lot. Anyways, we said I cannot wait
to come back here, and wow, we should do it for our fifth
anniversity and we're like that's way toosoon. We're like, okay, our
tenth, our tenth anniversary, weare doing it. We're going to be
there. Yeah, and and nowe're not. It's not happening. And
that's what I was telling you.You're like, oh, you guys are
(06:26):
in separate places right now and this, and I was like, yeah,
it's because I'm at work right now. He's at the house because I pick
up the kids in the next liketen minutes, and so this is life
and so our life. We couldhave done it. We just bought a
house instead, like that was thedeal. Like, you know, we
were in Hawaii and we're like,do we want to put an offer on
(06:46):
this house and ruin the rest ofour vacation? We said yes, And
I'm like okay, well, andthis is how this is the short.
This is wife math for you orwhatever, right, like girl math,
but white girl why math? Right? Yeah, it's okay. If we
get this house now, then wewon't do any vacations and then we won't
be expensive for Christmas, and thenyou know, we're not going to do
(07:10):
all these future things that we alreadyprobably can't afford. And then once you
bag the thing that you want anda couple of weeks have passed by,
then it's like, what are wedoing for Christmas? What are we doing
for our family trip? Why aren'twe going anywhere for our anniversary? What
are we doing for my fortieth?What are we doing for my fortieth?
We bought a house, Yeah Iknow, but that's in the past.
(07:34):
We have the house now, sowhat are we doing that being said,
we're very mellow doing a lunch.We're going to lunch today. Well,
no, it's a it's a it'sa liner. It is a linner.
What time is this meal? Butthat's really bordering on lunch, my dude.
(08:00):
Okay, but it's it's Malibu andthe sun sets at five totally,
you know, and that's a lenner. It's fine. And then we were
like, of course, last minute, I was like, okay, well
you know what, now I kindof do want to get away and do
something just the two of us becausewe've done everything with the kids leading up
(08:20):
like this whole week. They wereoff school on Monday, so it was
like a three day weekend with them, love them, but you know,
it's becoming more expensive. If wewould have just gone to Jade Mountain at
this point, we should have justit's just broken up into mini Wait what
are you doing with the kids.Well, so yeah, we already basically
secured our nanny to like help outwith the kids this weekend, and then
(08:45):
the past weekend. You're forgetting thispast weekend we went out to twice twice.
Well the first time we for thefirst time we forgot Skippy. This
is the kids that the doll youtake from school. We're getting sidetracked.
Anyways, little stuffed animal that Maxand got to spend a week with.
(09:09):
And so oh it was very sadthat we went down to this really nice
dinner and he didn't He forgot tobring Skippy. And so then I was
like, we can come back herefor brunch or something. We did two
days. It's been five six days, three meals a day. That's you
know, so uh what I said, five to three wonderful. Probably three
(09:30):
meals weren't out. We went tobrunch, we went to breakfast, we
went to dinner. I mean,it's it's fun. I think the first
half of the week was great becauseour anniversary landed on a Thursday this year,
so it's like whatever, Yeah,but I think the first half of
the week was great, kind ofspending it with the family, showing the
kids our wedding video, which theyhave never seen. We didn't do the
long we have like a hour anda half movie portion of the Oh wow,
(09:54):
it's honestly great. It sounds likehorrible to just to be like,
oh my gosh, but it's sowell produced. It's almost like you're watching
our own little movie about ourselves.And then they did like a four minute
sizzle reel of our wedding, andso that's the one that we showed the
kids and they loved it, exceptfor the parts that we were kissing.
They thought that was gross, butoh well, really hard kiss to daddy,
(10:20):
It wasn't hard. I feel weirdabout you talking about a hard kiss.
Maybe I'm one of your children.I mean, I kind of it
was like, Michael, you cankiss the bride type of thing, and
then I just went for it forme. Yeah, and who's going to
just peck? It's like your weddingday wasn't gonna be like oh, like
(10:41):
I went in there and then likeI held it because I know that they're
snapping pictures. I gave the audiencewhat they wanted, you know, get
the shot. Thinking about the photos, Michael, I know, I know.
Anyways, it was really cute,though. I will say last night
we played them our wedding song,which is raylem On sang you are the
Best Thing, and then we allended up dancing in the playroom together,
(11:07):
like holding the kids hands and theyjust wanted to dance to it and all
this stuff. And so it wasreally full circle to be dancing ten years
ago at our first dance to thatsong, and then now ten years later
with our own kids, three ofthem, three of them. Wow,
yeah, I've been busy. Sothen what are you doing just the two
(11:30):
of you? Now you say there'ssomething added. We were trying to get
away for like a night and thenbut do like a whole weekend, like
where you leave in the morning,but you still don't check intil later and
like maybe do spas or something likethat. But the weather's putting a little
bit of a monkey wrench in it, if you ask me. There's always
something Michael's faces so like, what, well, it's just like, you
(11:50):
know, we can't you got anevent that you know, a good event?
Right? You agree to on Friday, so we if we do go
somewhere, it's like nine o'clock onFriday night, or then you do something
Saturday, it's gonna rain. Can'tgo over there for long because you gotta
work on Monday. So now we'relike, I can't fly anywhere anywhere so
(12:13):
much. You know, we're happy. We'll just leave it at that.
Okay, We'll see where the windtakes us. I'm Michael very much happy.
I'm happy. I'm happy. I'mhappy. I'm happy. You're happy,
you're happy. Okay, I justjust you know, every new day
we're gonna have to we're gonna figureit out eventually. Let's get through today
(12:37):
right the day. I think it'sgonna be nice. There's some things up
my sleeve that you don't know about. I love good surprise. I see.
That's why it's so I think frustratingfor guys because like when guys try
and do something, and they're tryingto do something and then you know,
obviously your wife wants more, shedeserves more, but it's trying to balance
(12:58):
like are you are you still gonnawant more? After Thursday. I mean,
the answer is yes. I don'teven know why I'm saying this,
so never mind. I see.Sometimes you just have to talk it out.
And now you realize you came topod pod therapy. Thank you.
But we always want more and ifthey if you ever doubt it as a
stupid thing to doubt when in dowgo big. So we'll figure it out.
(13:22):
Here's a question, whose responsibility isit to plan the anniversary because that's
a complex one. But you wereinvolved. Defaulted to me when it's defaulted
to me, and it's impossible becauseI have so many restrictions. Restrictions I
means, like I can't go like, let's let's do it the first weekend,
(13:46):
and then let's let's not do itthe first weekend, and then let's
do it the second weekend, butthen I can't do it on Friday,
and then oh yeah, anyways,it's tough. Okay, everyone, I'm
happy. Sometimes it becomes something that'svery simple to do and just be like,
oh, let's do this, andlet's then that's what we're going to
(14:09):
celebrate, right. But I thinkit's a little bit more complicated now with
kids, in the sense that itis the middle of the school year,
so it's not like we can justget up and travel somewhere. We'd have
to completely plan that, and that'skind of where we're at. So yeah,
i'd say the complication is like that. Sicini does not like surprises,
(14:31):
so surprises, but I want itgood surprises, right, So so that's
hard and so then we have toplan things. And then when you plan
things, you get like opinions andback and forth, and then you land
where we're at today. Now,granted we weren't going to do something because
we bought a house, but thenwe've got to do something because it's our
(14:54):
tenure, right, So yeah,it's like, you know, here we
go. Hey, I have anidea. There's this big giant bowl of
questions that Erica has produced or provided. What's the word I'm looking for,
prepared? Thank you? Prepared?Yeah, that's the word sounds right.
(15:16):
So why don't you pull one ofthese out and will we'll answer some of
these questions before our linener before yourlenner. Okay, perfect, let's see.
Can you pinpoint which year was theeasiest and which year would have been
the most challenging each of you?I want your own answers, Oh,
(15:37):
who wants to go first? Jesus? Okay, writing down? Are you
looking at you? I need nothere so you have a I'm just right.
The easiest, I'm the hardest year. Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, of the ten years,obviously, you know a lot has been
years and there, not fifteen together, ten years married, not fifteen together?
Correct? Okay? If I hadto guess, I cannot guessing.
(16:03):
You're giving me an answer based onfacts. Okay, The easiest would probably
be our first year of marriage.I feel like that's the whole reason the
term like honeymoon phase and all thatstuff, it comes from that. That
being said. The hardest for me, it's probably Mmm, this sounds crazy,
(16:38):
but I think it might. Iknow, because I don't know if
it's hard with kids versus like thechallenges that we should be like. The
words are hardest and easiest, notthe best, okay, okay, or
it's actually easiest and most challenging.And I gotta say twenty eighteen was a
(17:03):
hard year, but not in abad way, because I feel like so
much good still came from that year. But I say that twins were born.
The twins were born in twenty eighteen. But the reason I say like
hardest is because I know that itwas such a huge adjustment for us to
go from ten years being together,because that was ten years for us ish
(17:27):
we met No. Nine with nokids, and then all of a sudden
becoming parents, you know, totwins, to twins, so not sleeping.
There was like probably a lot ofarguments that year, you know,
all that stuff. And in addition, I had a really tough pregnancy,
like at towards the end, andwe had them early, which we knew
(17:51):
would probably happen, But after that, I was I was personally more depressed.
So I think that affected our marriage, if that makes any sense,
Because I went through them and Iwent through all that stuff, half my
face went paralyzed. So it's liketotally I think all of that factored in
with we're new parents to twins,and we're also yeah, like four year,
(18:15):
four and a half years into ourmarriage, So what do we really
know about a true partnership now asparents now? As like we're just learning
the ebbs and flows of like whattype of dad he's going to be,
Like what I am as a mom? Like I remember like he was so
hands on and this is like waygoing on, way too long, but
(18:36):
I will button it up. Rightafter this, he was so hands on
with the twins because he was tryingto take some of the burden off of
me because I had just you know, delivered them and whatnot that it actually
had a negative impact on me,Like I was I was taking it personal,
like yeah, yeah, yeah,Like it was almost like I am
their mom, like let me bethe mom, like let me let me
(18:57):
hold them more. It was justlike it's almost interesting win. I know,
it's really and it's like a finedance that you have to figure out.
And that's why I feel like maybesome people throw in the towel early
when it comes to marriage because it'slike, well, forget it, you're
a bitch, like you know,and Michael never did that with me.
I think, like, you know, your patience throughout the all, especially
(19:18):
that year, goes to show likewhy we're here now, Mike anything else?
You know, this is breakfast atSI's, so grab your tea.
And I think he's so silly.I'm super thilly. Okay. I am
(19:40):
struggling with the easiest year because likeeasy and I don't mean that in a
bad way. I'm just trying tofigure out bitch common. I mean,
because if I think about like easiest, it could be two ways. You
know. I kind of like Sicany'sfirst year thought. But I'm almost like
(20:03):
on the thinking like this last yearwas our easiest and and and that's just
because I feel like the harder partsget fewer and far between, but they're
still there and they can't be ignoredand you have to keep like working at
It's a relationship, right, Imean, I feel like I've been using
(20:26):
sports analogies for too many times withlike championship teams. It's like you don't
just like, you know, doit again the next year without work,
and so there's always an element tothat. But I feel like we're still
growing within ourselves and building off ofthat. So it seems like every year,
as long as we're both kind ofstill committed, which feels like we
(20:48):
are, it gets easier. Fromthat sense from them, I guess I'm
maybe a marriage perspective, because theneighteen, I agree was the hardest year
of my life. I think itwas also the best year of my life.
I want to say twenty eighteen,I turned thirty two, which is
(21:11):
also like remember now I'm saying thisto myself. I guess thirty two is
like my number, my lucky number. We had the twins, I got
promoted, Like you know, itwas twenty eighteen was a great year,
the hardest year of my life.And I'll separate the hard things that were
happening from being a director and afather, but specifically on the marriage side,
(21:33):
it's like to what Cistiny said,it's like you're navigating these new relationships
with your kids and and like youcan only do so much at a time.
So is it like you kind ofpause so you can really focus on
your kids relationships or you're going backand forth. You know, I don't
and I don't know what these timeperiods are. It's a day, it's
(21:55):
a week, it's a month,you know. But we go too long
and you're focusing on your kids orwhatever. Then you're neglecting each other.
And it's like that whole thing withdate nights and and then trying to reconnect.
Yeah, and when is it when? You know, when is rest?
When is like we got to doit. My body was out of
commission for half that year, youknow. Yeah, and so I you
know, physically and also mentally didn'twant to necessarily get completely naked and start
(22:22):
having sex all the time. Likeit was just like that's all that shit
affects relationships and marriage and things thatyou just have to have patience, I
guess throughout the whole process, andand it's a lot of it's a lot
of mental growth. I think havingkids for everyone involved, when you go
through something like that that it's likehell week from like sports, and you
(22:48):
just get stronger. You're like,look what we did. But I think
those are crucial moments in marriages whereyou have to really find ways to truly
reconnect with with each other and tryand not put anybody in a specific role
or a definition of who they arewho they should be, because we're also
trying to find ourselves throughout your lifetogether or not. So kind of all
(23:14):
that to get all that, allthat you know in one man was a
loaded question. What else you I'mso sorry. Let's see what has changed
the most in ten years of marriage? So like from the day you got
married to today, what's the mostdifferent about your relationship? Probably being parents
Based on that line, I thinkI think I think we fought a lot
(23:38):
more in our early years of dating, so before we were even engaged.
Uh and so, and we don'tfight like that at all anymore. It's
rare that Michael and I will getinto like a heated argument. I mean,
you guys were young, you metyoung. Yes, time we fight.
(24:03):
Of arguing, I would say,I would say, the I I
change what I fight about and whatI care to fight about. I guess
in a way, I'm like,I'm sorry to understand the reason behind the
pick your battles and why. Andthen she's always right things right, So
(24:27):
because I I kind of went intothe marriage with like, hey, I'm
totally understanding of this, but likeshe always has to be right, Like
how is that kind of work?Like like you know, and you still
marry her so not knowing you know. But and then there's the other side
where it's like, well, youknow, are you just gonna neglect yourself
and what you care about, whatyou believe in? So I'd say,
(24:48):
like, how I communicate and consistentlyworking on communication and working on your listening
is what I feel like I've changed. And it's but it takes a very
long time because changing is really hardand you have to do it yourself.
Yeah, like humble about it.It could be like it could hurt your
feelings and then you got to getback to like, Okay, how do
I become a better person? Well, we're raising our kids and they what
(25:15):
do they say? I don't knowthe term, but it's basically like you
you find out who you really arethrough like having children. You know,
it's like almost like you see youryour own true colors sometimes in the way
in them, in them, andso then you're like, holy crap,
like because some of the stuff,it's like, Okay, they're born with
the genetics, but then all theother stuff they're learning from us. So
(25:37):
if they start learning any sort ofbad qualities, that's on us. That's
on me. That's me as amom, and that's me as my own
my own temper, my own thingsthat I'm trying to sow. I think
having children and just trying to notI guess reflects such negativity or anything like
that around them has been the biggestchange for me. Let me give you.
(26:00):
I used to kind of chase youknow, the whole the whole thing
about don't go to bed angry andall that. I feel like I used
to chase the argument more frequently earlier. Oh my gosh, let's get to
the get to the end. Andit's not like I still like but what
I found now is like I needto give her more space, like let
her even if she's sad or evenif I'm wrong or I you know,
(26:21):
I want to feel better by hearingthe apology, like give the space,
give the time, still not goto bed angry and work through it,
but not like just so much onit because I before I used to just
like be so confused, like youknow, I didn't say all these things
like why would you be feeling thator whatnot? And then I see,
you know, my daughter Asa.I go in and I tell her to
(26:45):
go brush her teeth before I couldtuck her into bed and uh. And
so then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go tuck Max and in.
And then she comes out and shesees me tucking in Max and she's
like, you're tucking in Max andyou don't love me, and she just
don't off and leaves. I'm like, what I didn't say that, I
didn't do that, and why doyou know? Yeah, she goes to
(27:06):
like the negative and I was like, I wonder where she gets that from?
Horrifying to yourself. Reflected, Yeah, I think what that means is
like you can never really no matteryou can do, like try and be
a saint and angel and whatever,and there's going to be something that's going
to trigger somebody else and it justsometimes people need to get there themselves,
(27:26):
figure out why they got there,or they just need space. So I
gave her space, you know whatI mean. And when I learned from
maxim it's just like what you're hearingnow, It's just like he talks a
lot, and I'm like, ohmy gosh, that was like the best
teacher conference. Like I never feltso validated like ever in my life.
What did they say? Well,they basically were like, you have a
(27:47):
great son and super smart, buthe interrupts me all the time and always
has the answer and always wants totalk over me and always wants to do
this and this and that. AndI was like literally just looking at Michael
and I was just like, thisis a persent, you bro. Yeah
I know, Yeah, that's whoI married. So so yeah, anyways,
(28:10):
I guess yeah, I think thebiggest thing is that we just are
evolving and hopefully becoming better humans toeach other. And then as parents.
Gosh, it sounds like a lot. Ten years emerge sounds like a lot.
You know, it's so fun.It is. It is a really
fun roller coaster. Yeah, okay, next question, looking back, is
(28:30):
there anything differently you would do aboutyour wedding or do with your wedding?
Yes? I know my answer.WHOA, I had time, had a
really nice time. I hope itis not me. Do you want to
go first or do you want meto go first? Something? I guess.
(28:52):
Okay, I already know my answer. I was very A few things
I really had it, like timeto prepare. But no, our wedding
was beautiful. I still think,hands down, I'm biased one of the
best weddings I've ever attended. Thatbeing said, I am still a little
pissed that we never did an afterparty. What Okay, I wasn't expecting
(29:15):
that answer. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, this is I am totally
fine with this. This is ridiculous. This is totally siciny. And I
actually was worried about this for awedding that sisany was gonna want to go
out afterwards to a club and keeppartying and then we'll get carry her back
(29:38):
to sweet that she won't even seeand then we'll just leave in the morning
and just be like, what thefuck just happened? No stop. What
Michael really is trying to say isthat he wanted to have sex on her
wedding night. Fine, and ifwould have had some sort of thing,
and I get it, and Idid too in theory, sure, but
(29:59):
his and then you're like, I'mgonna go to sleep. I get it.
I'm with you, Like I think, looking back, it would have
been super sad if we didn't havesex on our wedding night, Like one
hundred percent, I'm glad we theway turned out for us to go back.
We went to a different hotel thanwhere our guests were staying at,
and we had our very own almostlike little mini honeymoon on our wedding night,
(30:21):
just the two of us. Hotelthat we exist. The hotel that
we picked happened to have a reallydope nightclub that was like popping And when
we showed up in our just marriedlimo and this like brideing group comes out
and like all the people that arewaiting in line to go into the club
were like, oh my gosh,like yelling at us, like congratulations,
(30:44):
Like it looks so cool and sowhatever. We checked into the hotel,
like and our in my wedding dressand like his textedo, and we look
super like it's just like out ofa movie, right, And we go
into our bedroom and we do oursexy time and then afterwards, I was
like, damn, it would bereally cool if we had a table downstairs
with all of our friends and wecould go now and party. Since you
(31:07):
got the sex done, sis,there's no way if your friends were waiting
downstairs at a table that you wouldhave been like, let's go, you
know, bang it out literally andthen come back downstairs. We have four
at other people's weddings. Wow,that's suppressing. We did. We did
it at John and Daniel's wedding becausehe's the same thing. Went up to
(31:30):
the room, had sex, andthen come came down and then partied with
everybody afterwards. Yeah, but thoseare like those are like spontaneous moments of
gold, Like you can't you can'tplan for it. I can't plan those.
That's like serious, and then youdon't ask questions and then you show
up to work. I'm just saying, look, this was my answer,
Like she asked the question, andthis is why, Well, we would
(31:52):
have been differently. I wish wehad it after party. That's all,
Okay, that's great, it's yours. What he would have done differently or
changed or anything that you would haveor did anything go wrong? You know
what I would have I would havedone is it's small, but I would
have had our efficient not try andspeak Spanish and I would have given it
(32:15):
to one of our relatives to read. Yeah, asked and we're like,
oh, do you speak Spanish?He said yeah, he's like yeah,
yeah, but we forgot to runit by and we forgot to be like
how much and then we hear ityeah, and then we give him like,
hey, can you just read thisSpanish thing in Spanish? And it's
like great, but then you can, you know, you can hear the
(32:37):
English consonants in his pronunciation right,and it made it It just made it
completely unnecessary. I've been looking back. It makes me laugh every time.
So I don't know I would Idon't know that I would have changed that.
Yeah, yeah, tbd. AndI probably would have invited a few
people that like we forgot to invite, unlike forgot not my family's side,
(33:01):
but like like my I had likea nanny like when I was a kid,
and like, I still blame mydad. I've still never seen her
to this day. So oh,fairs that exists. That's fair, that's
fair, that's fair. But Ifeel like we should again a lot of
the people on my dad's list,who where are they now? And so
(33:22):
it was the same thing, butI kind of like blame my dad.
I was like, this was yourlittle more of your dad's friends than I
do of your nanny. I'll tellyou that, I'm fine whatever, And
maybe my dance teacher a few ofthem from the past, you know what.
It is? The way people makewedding lists is hilarious to me.
So that's a whole other another time. What else you got? We'll be
(33:44):
helping you soon. So oh Ican't wait. I mean, yeah,
I'm not going to deny that.So do you want to do that?
You want to get married? Andit would you get married in an airport?
No? I love the idea ofit. There has to be something
airport theme though, totally guys,because you know where you could get married
beautiful mm hmmm where you know whatI'm gonna say, Michael uh Petroc Uh
(34:09):
no, the Singapore, the Singaporeairport. I'm not Singapore airport. Get
up. Have you looked at jewel? Have you heard of the jewel When
you guys went, I saw lotsof photos and videos. I don't even
the jewel wasn't finished. It's atext water you too. We are getting
(34:30):
off track. I appreciate your interestin my life. We can do this
on another podcast, you know,in the future when I have a ring
on my finger. But tiger AnyWho, let's see what well here, what
advice would you each give to someonegetting married today or soon get married in
(34:52):
the Singapore airport? Elope and saveyour money? You just said there was
nothing you would change about. No, yeah, you're right, that was
great. I know, I know, I just I say that. I
only say that because I feel likeweddings are triple the cost of what ours
cost ten years ago. Is thisadvice for a wedding? Advice for this
(35:15):
is marriage advice? Okay, marriageadvice for someone entering a marriage today?
Cliche? But communicate? What else? Make sure that you're well. If
you're already married, it's too late. But I would say I think there's
(35:37):
an importance to having your family's meshWell, it's I think it's toxic when
somebody on either side of the familydoesn't mesh well with your husband, your
boyfriend, or your girlfriend or Beyonceor whatever, and there's just like tension.
(35:58):
So I would work out that withyour partner, not necessarily mesh with
each other's families, no mess,mess with your mess with your partner.
Work work on the family relationship asmuch as the personal relationship. And I
yeah, I feel like a familyrelationship is important. I feel like it's
toxic when a family member doesn't eitherapprove of the relationship or or you know,
(36:22):
And so I would just really it'snot my answer, but to kind
of second that, you know whatI've seen being here for you know,
years and years and years. Right, it's just like anything that you think
you're just going to try and avoidor just like it never works. It
never gets better. Thanksgivings, birthdayparties, the kids' lives, and when
you have kids, it gets morecomplicated because then they're cool with people and
(36:43):
they're not cool with you. Likework work on your family relationship for sure,
yeah, because that's when they're way. We was really fortunate with us,
is that like we our families messedsuper well together, got it okay,
Like I'm cool with her mom andI'm cool with her dad, and
I'm cool with her brothers and awkwardif it wasn't like it would be so
(37:06):
totally like every time I'd have togo over to Michael's parents house if I
didn't get along with his parents orget along with one of his siblings or
whatever it was, you know.And so that's the type of stuff that
I just feel as if I couldn'timagine being in a situation like that.
So if you have, it's likeset it aside, whatever beef it is,
like talk it out, like getto the bottom of it, like
it's there's because by the ways,like it's gonna it's gonna wear on you
(37:27):
and it's going to take years offyour life. Yeah, Michael, I
would say, I'd say talk aboutor work out like the hard things up
front, Like don't avoid difficult conversationsand things because you think it's going to
ruin the relationship or you know youyou might break up or you know,
(37:50):
like you're afraid to do it,but you know it'll ruin the wedding or
whatever it is. Because I thinkwhat you just start doing is you start
pushing it off and you start compilinglife, and then it starts taking a
toll on you. And then andthen it's just you get backed up on
things that you need to explain ortalk to to other people. I think
the good thing about being vulnerable andtalking through your tough things earlier on is
(38:15):
then you can then build off ofthem and you can show that, look,
we've been able to get through thisand and and through each stage of
that, you kind of confess yourcommitment to each other if you will,
or you affirm your you reaffirm yourcommitment, and like, you know what
kind of partner you are in termsof throughout that and listening to that so
(38:37):
you know whatever you know your fearsare, or you know whatever it is
you're looking for in your relationship orwhatever it is that's important to you,
Like just don't ignore things and letthem faster, get them out and talk
to them earlierating working on your communicationis gonna it's you're gonna you live your
(38:58):
whole life trying to figure it out. So it's okay that you're figuring it
out every year with your partner,because it's it's very hard. One final
question one final Okay, I'm justgonna pick my favorite of what's left?
Um ooh, here we go inwhat ways did the twins change your relationship
(39:22):
in that moment? And then whatabout the third baby saveya? Did that
have the same effect the twins changedus the minute we found out we were
having twins. True, it's like, not only are we going to become
parents, we're gonna be twin parents. So I I wouldn't say change,
(39:47):
but like I realized that Michael isalways going to be the ones time.
This sounds intense, but it wasn'tthis bad. I was I thinking Michael
was always the one to talk melike off the ledge. And I don't
mean that like I was like reallylike like when you got like nervous exactly,
like but down exactly. But likethe men and I found out we
(40:07):
were having twins, I spiraled andI was like, uh, we need
to move, we need to dothis. We can't afford them, we
can Like I just like I wentto like the net and he was just
like it's gonna be okay, We'regonna be fine. We will adjusted.
And I was like, okay,okay, sandwiches sandwiches for the rest of
our lives. And so I thinkin that sense it I don't know if
(40:32):
that, you know, changed usin whatever way, but it was what
it was, and with Savellah,it's just a beautiful addition. Like that's
like the I couldn't imagine our worldwithout her. Was it easier because you
already had too? What was whatwas the third that it has its moments?
(40:52):
I think yes, and no.We were we were a little spoiled
with the twins even though we hadtwo at the same time, we had
a night for them, and sothat oh yeah, you know, we
wiped out our savings and freaking wentall in on that night nurse. Night
night nurse was equivalent to having oneblow up life saver on one arm and
(41:14):
the other one is still flat,because it was just enough to be like,
yeah, to keep your head abovewater. Yeah, And so as
save we did not do a nightnurse because we were like, we what,
we don't need one. We werekind of like cocky, you know,
We're like we got this well,baby, well knew we knew what
we had to get to, whichyea like three to four months through the
(41:36):
night and then like and just justone, and it's like we got some
help in the family because we alreadyhad a nanny. I think we can
figure this out. Let's go forit. And we did, and we
figured out the schedule because I thinkwith us at me being on attorney to
leave for the good first chunk ofthat, I was able to do like
the late night feedings and he wasable to sleep, and then he would
(41:57):
get up and do like the fouram one and then I would sleep in
until five. And it's like wejust figured it out. Yeah, So
so is that your answer. Idon't know if that was a good answer.
I don't know if he answered yourquestion. Uh change, Yeah,
how it changed your relationship? Imean you just kind of you had to
learn how to figure it out.Sounds like, I, oh, how
the baby. How you're saying,how maybe change a relationship? I guess
(42:22):
because yeah, this anniversary that isbeing married. Huh. So that's I
would say, Yeah, they puta big damper. We're not on Jade
Mountain right now because of the shoot. I'd say, like, you know,
when you become a parent and youstart making the connections to like the
misconceptions you have, you know,when you don't know something and then you
know something you're like, oh,I had no idea, I get it
(42:44):
now. So I think that showedme to judge less one between other parents,
you know, just like because thisis really fricking hard. There's so
much behind the scenes stuff that's like, Okay, I totally get it now,
you're just like you're in the clubnow you get it. But and
then it kind of trickles back andit doesn't happen instantly, but I think
it happens more and more over time. And that's also just like with your
(43:06):
partner, how how they're parenting,how you're parenting, you know, just
kind of supporting them because you know, I'm sure sisany has her ways.
And I'll come back, you know, at the end of the day from
you know, work or wherever,if I'm gone somewhere, and it's like,
you know what, this is howshe got through the day, and
that's freaking fine, and you know, and she'll come back and like,
this is how I got through theday. And you know, it wasn't
(43:27):
the manual, but I survived.And it's because and used to start respecting
that more, you start judging less. I think that's what took away from
me, the twins the most,and not instantly, but I think over
the years more and more with workingon it, working on ourselves and working
on how we're raising them, youknow, judge judge less, I think
what Saveya taught me was too careless, not about humans, but like
(43:53):
it's just never perfect, super superficialstuff mm hmm, superficial or just the
it's your even though it's our thirdbaby, it's our second pregnancy, so
our second child. If you wereour second, go wow, sure,
like you're not as worried about pregnancyor you're not, You're just not.
(44:14):
You know they always say like thesecond child or the third child or whatever,
it's just more care free. Youknow, they're dirtier, right they
They're just kind of we take morerisks. I'm not so like worried about
like Surveya falling down, Like yeah, her scratching her knee is gonna be
good for her to figure things out. You know. With the kids,
I don't think I showed them firefor two years, you know, like
(44:34):
stay away showed them fire just youknow, you're just so protective, but
you find out they'll they'll be okay, and so well, it's been quite
the tall and we managed to doit all with a pandemic death smack in
the middle. Michael. You guys, I'm going to send this podcast to
any of my friends getting married,so I don't really have any but like,
(44:59):
this is Oh, this was sogood. I feel like I learned
a lot about my own relationship andhearing you guys talk about yours really wow.
I just I think this is awesome. I'm excited to see what people
have to say about it. Also. Lastly, last thing I'll say is
a happy ten year anniversary to usto Sney because I started working for you
right before your wedding. You know. It's one of those things where I'm
(45:24):
just like, gosh, if Ionly would have known and you can know.
But that's okay, yeah, crazyten years We will ten years win
though literally on our honeymoon, likeoh fab yeah after so close enough to
the wedding, but not not earlylike a week. Yeah, I started
(45:44):
working for you like the week beforeyour wedding, so we didn't know each
other. Yeah. No. Ihad like one time like hi, this
is the intern Erica and I waslike yeah, yeah, yeah, hi,
yeah, yeah, I'll never seeyou again. Here we are three
months, you know, very veryhard to break through those interns. We
get so many, like twenty ina year. There's just like there's only
(46:04):
a few funny stuck around here.You are, Yeah, here I am.
It's been a pleasure being friend adjacentto you, Erica for you're my
friend, Michael, don't call mea friend adjacent, Oh my gosh.
But anyway, thank you guys forsharing so much. You really got like
real there, so I appreciate that. I hope I get real every week,
but I would say more than everin these last forty six minutes.
(46:29):
Well there we go. Yeah,I guess you know. Happy anniversary,
you guys. It's real life,all right. Next week it'll just,
I guess be Next week it'll bean unreal, boring podcast. You gotta
go drink and eat. Yeah,get to your Lennen. Yes, you
gotta go and make that senior citizenspecial. Sure we're the first ones there.
(46:51):
Okay, bye,
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