April 15, 2025 • 52 mins
It’s Tax Day, and being cheap has never been cooler! 💸
We’re talking about how “Saving is the New Flex”—and sharing your wildest money-saving hacks (bring the heat, penny pinchers)! 🔥
From Bedroom to Big Leagues: $1M Sperm Race to Make Fertility Go Viral
Then we dive into the Human vs Robot WAR... again. The machines are back and sassier than ever. 🤖⚔️ Scams to Avoid on Tax Day — Don’t get got! 💀
And we’ve got the math formula for a truly joyful day (yes, joy + snacks = win).
You’ll also hear what women are learning about men from the wild world of dating. 😬💔
PLUS:
➡️ A real-life sperm race is happening this month... yup, we said it. 🏃♂️
➡️ “Fun to the Head” trivia game for Wolves tickets
➡️ Nerd News with Marris
➡️ And finally—Coachella vs. Lollapalooza 🎧
We’re talking about how “Saving is the New Flex”—and sharing your wildest money-saving hacks (bring the heat, penny pinchers)! 🔥
From Bedroom to Big Leagues: $1M Sperm Race to Make Fertility Go Viral
Then we dive into the Human vs Robot WAR... again. The machines are back and sassier than ever. 🤖⚔️ Scams to Avoid on Tax Day — Don’t get got! 💀
And we’ve got the math formula for a truly joyful day (yes, joy + snacks = win).
You’ll also hear what women are learning about men from the wild world of dating. 😬💔
PLUS:
➡️ A real-life sperm race is happening this month... yup, we said it. 🏃♂️
➡️ “Fun to the Head” trivia game for Wolves tickets
➡️ Nerd News with Marris
➡️ And finally—Coachella vs. Lollapalooza 🎧
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Tuesday is what I think we should do. In addition
to Thursday. I'm gonna find one for every single week.
We're gonna turn this into drinking on the clock. I
think the week swing it.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
That's a good idea. Yeah, I don't think so either.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It's gonna fair morning mash. But I'm rock ninety five five.
But my name is Maria Palmer.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I'm there, voice of reason here, Michael Wow, first time
in my life, and listen for twenty minutes if you
still agree with that. By the way, a couple of
birthdays today. Oddly enough, I really wanted to address this. No,
so she said, I really didn't. He really didn't. She goes, Hey,
it's Seth Rogan's birthday today. Maybe we should talk about it.
Seth Rogan amazing right, Happy birthday, phenomenal.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Act to watch Pineapple Express after great Movies.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I heard his new show is good too. It's called Studio.
I didn't. It's like him. I saw a clip from it.
Looks like he's maybe a director or something, and they're
trying to make movies. They're like on a golf cart
in the Hollywood studios and like the inside of how
things are made. Anyway, screw him. So then who brought
up the other birthday?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It goes, oh, it's I was looking at a list
of birthdays and I was like, it's Emma Watson's birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's a great birthday. Hon't the birthday? I didn't.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I didn't Sully the book the birthday you did, because,
dear I'm trying to tell, dear listener, honestly, I don't
want to hear any more from you in this segment,
because you've disgusted me already. I said it's Emma Watson's
birthday today. Marris goes, that's a birthday to celebrate, and
then he licks his cheeth and goes like that you
(01:38):
might recognize as a.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Horrific combo of sounds and words terror Harry Potter. She was, okay,
that's okay, I'm sure I got the right person.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Asked like, you don't know who Emma Watson is?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
You're not a morning show of lies morning. There's a
nuanced difference. No, I've never seen a movie with her. Well,
I think I know who she is, but I was
just making sure you've seen some AI movies with her.
Wait a minute, that's a thing. Wait a minute. Oh,
The Bling Ring. Yeah that was. That was a great movie.
But there's a lot of Harry Potters crap. Yeah, she was.
(02:12):
I did see Perks of being a Wallflower back in
the day. Okay. Oh, don't forget Beauty and the Beasts
live action that she was. Oh okay, Yeah, finally Disney
did a live action. Wow, you guys are really cultured.
Very good movie. Well, happy birthday to them. Yeah, is
still looking his lips over here. I don't and I
want you to stop. I desperately want you to stop.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I felt myself doing it, but I was. I just
had granola and it's stuck in my teeth.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Say Hermione would hext you, but you'd probably be into that.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Please and thank you. Today on the show, the First
Sperm Race, no terrible. Don't forget Rocky the Rooster is back.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
He's got a thousand dollars for you once an hour
starting after eight ws.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Don't bringing up Rocky right after that too. It's tax day,
by the way, we gotta do some scams to watch
out for people out trying to get to take advantage
of you on tax Day. You know what, now, dare Okay,
she wants to be I thought you were looking to.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Be and now w C HI Weather with Michael we Man,
great career choice, Mike, that's not what they like today.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
A little wet this morning, don't worry, it'll dry up
later and just dried up right now. It's gonna be uh,
it's gonna be just cloudy like kind kind of the
same as it was yesterday, Wendy, this afternoon though, but
tomorrow looking phenomenal. High have like fifty degrees in sunshine
all day. Love that scientific. Yeah, ask your motivation in
(03:53):
today's lead up noise? Yeah, I didn't have anything, Okay.
I was just like I was just gonna start making
no noise and see what happens here and we'll end
it with attle announcement. Lets you know something's coming, you know,
always surprises and I'm there. So yeah, a little cloudy today, Wendy,
(04:21):
and then tomorrow looking pretty nice. Left forgot it, nailed it.
Do you have a tell.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Now?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I have said but true, but we could have happy
but lies. That's what we bring you on the morning
wash bid On Rocket ninety five to five Happy lies storytelling.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's there, it was there. Michael
being frugal is trendy according to a majority of Americans. Boy,
doesn't that say something about the economy. Trendy is a
word we have to widespread, I think, is what we
would say in honor of Financial Progress Month, and new
survey looks at what financial progress means to American and
how much of it we're making. I got Financial Progress Month. Nice,
(05:05):
So we're just titling things. Then, I guess so, I
don't know, I've never heard that before, but that's what
it says. Here, go on and finds it. Being frugal
is in. Yeah, it's necessary. I gotta get better at
the sixty one percent of respondents agreed that it's less
tacky to be frugal now than it was ten years ago.
That's because nobody has any money. Right, people are living
(05:25):
off of credit cards, slashes through the roof, Right, this
is crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, you call it a trend. We call it existing.
You're twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Five, you're living. Yeah. For nearly a quarter of the
two thousand US adults polled, it means. It just means
being cheap, But twice as many respondents to find it
as being careful with money and avoiding unnecessary spending. Something
I have an absolute problem with We were just talking
about that off the air. Yeah, saying that I can.
I kind of like I'm living like a holmeless person
from now on. If it's not free, it's not me. Baby.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're not living like a homeless person because you have
a home, but you hate it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Four minutes away, I realized right down the street. I mean,
my god. When it comes to financial progress, forty three
percent say the term simply means being in a better
position than they were a year ago. You know what
financial progress means for me?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
What's that having some money that if things go wrong,
I'll be okay.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I feel like as the year has gone, my car,
I paid off my car, and my car was.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Like, hey buddy, buddy, don't forget about me. Oh yeah,
I got to get some work done.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Here an ode to the check engine light that consens.
When you're savings account gets right back to the market,
it'll pay.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
For an engine change. I got a little bit of
extra scratch. There's a transmission.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Thankfully there was a warranty, but there was a whole
lot of other stuff wrong.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Actually, you know what would be fun? How do you save money?
What's your tip? Send us on the text line eight
four four fifty. What's the will give us? One thing
you do that you say money? Maybe you don't eat
out anymore, maybe you've changed your habits somehow. We love
to hear from you. Americans would rather talk to friends
about who they voted for, their medical concerns and how
often they shower than reveal how much money they have
(07:07):
in the bank. Oh really, Yeah, see, I don't care.
I'm poor. I don't care. I lost my debit card.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh no, I have to go and get a new
one from the bank. And then I was like, Oh,
somebody's out here spending all my money. And then I
looked and was like, they're going to be real manitard
work to steal that car.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That's crazy because I was like, Wow, someone's out here
stealing all my money.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Only it was me. It's me, I'm the problem. Yeah,
I really like uber eats and not cooking. That's all
of us though. Yeah, so much's unfortunate because I'm in
the same boat. It's too easy, and we're on the
sinking shit together.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Your chance to win Chicago Wolves tickets today In Fun
to the Head After eight.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Here on the Morning, Mash Pitt Maria. What war is approaching?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Well, you see, it's been wild to watch technology advance
at the rapid pace it has been, but it is
drawing us ever closer to an inevitable human versus row about.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Who from the front of the inevitable human war.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Google has made an AI model to talk to dolphins.
A new large language model AI system may soon allow
humans to converse with dolphins. Schedule to debut in the
coming months. Researchers will test to see if dolphin Gemma
and its companion cetacean hearing augmentation to tell them at telemetry. Yep,
that's a mouthful.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
You can do words. Yeah, I should just called it chat.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
The chat system can translate and mimic some of the
mammals own complex vocalization.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I'm not about this, No, No, dolphins are evil. Think
about it, though, you could talk to your dog. Well
it's for dolphins, but yeah, you get down the road
a little ways. I'm like, have a little conversations with
my body. But like you're acting like you've been prevented
from doing that as it is already talk to your
dogs all the time.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Dolphins are like gang animals, Like they just man, they're
not as bad as orcus, but dolphins they're mischievous.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, you know the dolphins sleep with one eye open,
do they or their blowhole? Oh maybe that could be
the one. I'd be pretty cool to talk to animals.
Imagine you're out on us so far. You're like, hey, elephant,
you know what he's like.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Then you're like, what do you do saying I don't
want to find out how angry animals are at us.
They're just they're just like, Wow, this building, this trash,
all of this this road my frog friend got ran
over yesterday, and it's all because of you.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I don't need that in my life, because that's how
they get you. Maris, You're absolutely right here.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
It is if we can talk to dolphins, which you
might recognize is one of the only other species on
Earth that has sex just recreationally and not just for reproduction.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
There's a few other we're going to talk to them. Pigs,
We're going to try.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I don't like that we're going to try to relate
to animals. Okay, we're going to You would just shut up.
I could get through this and then we can move
on with our lives in the show. But whatever, I'll
just wait on you. Anyway, we relate to the goddamn
dolphins on this one point, and then they go, no,
what are you talking about. We actually don't like to
(10:14):
have sex, and they convince us that maybe sex isn't
that much fun, and then we stop having sex, and
then the human population decreases. We just replace it with
the robots that helped us talk to the dolphins in
the first place. Convenient, and then they win the inevitable
human versus robot war.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
This news from the front of the inevitable human robot war.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
We're gonna start a kiss cover band will be called
Hug this morning mash bit on Rock ninety five to five.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
You didn't want to call them Keith Keith spelled k
I T eight Keith. Now you can still sue you
for that. Yeah, wow, you called it different. I'm sure
he has.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
That will be wearing the exact same makeup and definitely
those boots.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
The boy knows how to rock some heales my god.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Okay, well pain is beauty. Anyway, what are we doing?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It's tax day and I got a couple of scams
to look out for. Yeah, you made them up right
now now they say this, Yes, these are the ones
I'm trying. Yep. No, they say today is a big
day to get hit by scams. People don't like doing
their taxes. They're looking for easy way out, so looking
for any help they can get. And it seems like
if it seems too good to be drew, that probably
is all right. Number four, beware of social media. There's
(11:24):
a lot of people on TikTok who come on and
give tips and stuff, and a lot of that stuff
is just not correct. And if you use their tips
on your tax returns or doing certain things certain ways,
you're gonna pay for it. Yeah, so double check everything,
be sure it's right. Number three, check whose name is
on your tax return, which seems like it would make sense,
(11:45):
but like what they were saying on the news essentially
is that people will try to do your taxes and
have it sent back to them, and it's like a
whole just a fraud thing. Just make sure everything on
the paper is correct. It's the point of the Social
Security number.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, I listen, I'm gonna say they want all this
nothing that's coming back, they can have it.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, no kidding. They do say a way to be
even more sure that everything's going to get done correctly
is go to IRS dot com and make an account.
Even if someone else is doing your taxes or whatever.
It sort of just links you up and then everything
is like in the wheelhouse and you know, yeah, nobody
can go in and like mess with your stuff. But
I'm smart. Then Number one, do not open any text
(12:23):
or email from the IRS that has a link. Yeah,
they don't send links. Yeah exactly, So they said. The
IRS came out and they're like, we don't ever send
links in anything. If it has a link, it's not
from us. If only there were an easier way to
do this.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Entire thing, other than hey, I know that what you made,
and you know what you made, and now you have
to decide, oh, you actually show us otherwise you're going
to go to jail, straight to jail. Unfortunately, we've tried
everything and there simply is no other system.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
This is the most efficient one. How you say that
we don't have to sit and worry about tax I
mean we don't have to.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I mean I'm gonna we technically have the choice, but
I like not going to jail.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I mean it's a good thing, not going to jail
or prison. Yes, my main goal in life is avoid prison.
I like being outside too much. You're not doing a
good job, Michael. I've got to be so honest with you.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Just some things that you say here on Rock ninety
five five they make me a little bit concerned. Don't worry, Radiohead.
We don't belong here either, but we're staying this morning,
mosh pit. I'm Rock ninety five.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Five not going anywhere. No, we are not. What's happening, boys?
All right?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
So there is a mathematical formula for a truly joyful day.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Thank god.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
They have picked some very specific factors.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm gonna do it for you.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I got it. I got you, guys. I'm excited about this.
So there's some very specific factors. You can change the
allotments for each you, guys, let me know if you
want more or less?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Okay, more or less? All right? It starts with family. Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
They say that you should have about six hours of
family time for a truly joyful day.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Do you want more or less? My family lives in
Washington State.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah. They must mean like if you have a spoun
house in children or things of that nature.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Well, what about our roommate, I'll count it? What about
my daughter?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Let's call it live in I'm gonna make Ashley hang
out with me for six hours a day.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
There it is. It doesn't count for us in here.
It's like five hours a day.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Probably this is called work, I know, but okay, okay, okay,
I make the best of it. Sorry, worker guy. No, sorry,
we're not friends. You're welcome. The next one is friends.
How much time?
Speaker 3 (14:49):
So they have two hours listed for friends. I would
increase that one in decrease family.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Where is this extra eight hours a day coming from? No,
it's a whole twenty four hours. It's a whole twenty
four hours. Okay, I want to sleep at some point. Work. Well,
it's a joyful day, so work.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm not quite sure what they mean by extra socializing,
but they.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Have that at one and a half hours socializing. Okay,
Look at mister popular over here.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
He's got friends and family and extra socializing on top
of it.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
And by the way, doesn't he seem much more put together?
Maybe there's something too exercise. They have it at two hours. Okay,
I absolutely decrease that for something else, I e. This
next line, eating and drinking. They only have it one hour.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
No, No, I like to enjoy my meals.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I would like my six hours with my eating and drinking. Yes,
actually that's valid.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Or if I could mix my eating and drinking with
friends or family, let's double up there.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Please don't eat or drink your friends or family.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I'm going to what's next? This is the one I
think we'll all agree on. Work six hours?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
How about zero hours? That's what I'm saying. Zero hours
of work a truly joyful day. It does not involve work, right,
truly joyful. I like working when I don't have On
the weekends when I don't have to work, I'm like,
what am I doing with my life here?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Really?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Because on the weekends, I'm like, I love not waking
up at the morning. Let me rephrase what I I
agree with you. The waking up part is hard, but
this is fun. Yeah, yeah, spoiled. They only say that
you need about an hour of screen time.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I know what I needde We're talking about what I
want and what would make me joyful.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
And then to wrap all this up and chaos. Okay,
fifteen minute commute.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
There is no world in which any commute is part
of a joyous day.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I like my walk to work. It's like five minutes.
You are four minutes from the build, Little fresh air.
How you doing you talk all the time. You say
one sentence, boom, you suck the air out of the room.
August sixteenth, Credit Union won Amphitheater. You could see those
guys Jimmy Eat World with Newfound Glory, supporting a big
(17:06):
offspring show Rock ninety five, Chicago's rock station and speak
in a big show in adequately size. It's a big show.
It'll still please you. It might not be the biggest,
but you'll leave happy.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, we are talking, of course, dear listener, He's right.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
No, I have eye line with that about our first
day live show.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Let's go Fuzzy Line Brewing Company that's out in Highland
in John.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
A fuzzy line is so fun to say. It really
is a fuzzy line. Call us on the fuzzy Line.
I really think you're enjoying saying Indiana much more? Well,
I don't say Indiana. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
How do you say it in Johona? Yes, keep it classy. Yes,
May first, five to seven pm. There's gonna be Shenan
against I'm bringing the kazoos back again. I have a
zoo for you, just a bag of kazoos like Santa Claus.
I I feel like I would like a matching suit. Please, Yeah,
(18:09):
I got kazoos for you. Please bring a weird instrument.
I will drag you on stage. We will make beautiful music. Literally,
to be so clear. Please don't take any metaphors for
making beautiful.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Music with me. Do I get to be Santa Claus
that day too? Yes?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Mylort shots Thursday clause, Thursday clause, Thursday clause.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You could give up mort shots well no, or you
could give out.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I was thinking something that the people have been asking for,
screaming for, begging for.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Oh kids, kids okay, ladies.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Weird to bring up right after we say kids okay,
But we do have kids wat tickets for you to win.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Fifteen minutes. I'm going to make you give them away.
Oh no, oh no, I was gonna sacrifice myself for
this one. Fall on the sword. Even single Mom's got
to sit on his lap to talk, tell him that
he wants the kids pop? Can you turn down his
mic and so you can get through this? Is it
gonna be a red suit? O care? Anyway?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Fuzzy Line Brewing Company five to son, We're gonna do
a live podcast.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Also, Yeah, I can't wait for that. That's gonna be
very fun. You might. We could pull you right up
out of the crowd to be in it.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yes, we are your puppets, and you tell us how
to dance basically, and then you get on stage and
you dance with us.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
It's a good time. It's gonna be fun. Yeah, you
can't be a puppet. Yeah you can. No, yeah you can.
I'm like meive five. We're gonna talk about women, women,
what you change her? Women are real? What they learned
(19:48):
about dating men that way? Do we have kids up
tickets on the way, Yes, we do have those.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Oh yes, oh may first you're we have Fuzzy Lane
Brewing Company for Thursday Lives.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Green Day on Rock ninety five to five had a
very explosive into their set at Coachella when a firework
went astray and set a palm tree on fire.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Crazy. Everybody was safe though your people palm tree, palmer.
It's a long way around on that. It's okay. Thank
you for explaining it so surreal for Michael to be
explaining and joke.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Tamaris, thank you. I feel like I'm in the twilight
Zone right now.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
On read it. Speaking of the Twilight Zone, I've read
it women were asked to share what they learned about
us guys once they got themselves a boyfriend. And here's
some of what they have to say. No, boy, this
be exciting. I have thoughts. Uh, sometimes they really do
just think about nothing. Yeah, damn straight. That one's bonkers
to me. That blows my mind. You guys are thinking
about what we're thinking about all the time. And you
(20:47):
know what we're thinking about nothing, nada, zilch because you
don't have to because we are thinking about the fine
all the time. Guys are so much easier than people think.
We're so dumb. I mean not dumb. We're just like
we're so easy. Stop right there. We're just I want
to go to work, I want to come home and
eat dinner. I want to watch some sports and then
(21:07):
do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Yeah, we do all want those things. Someone's got to
like make the dinner though, and make.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
I'll make it fine with that. I don't cook. Yeah,
I can make my own dinner and watch. You can
do it for yourself. Here's another one. Uh, they can
move their wand while squeezing their butt. Okay, all right, Harry, potter.
They would rather break their arms than bring the groceries
(21:34):
in and multiple trips. That is true, very true. That
one's valid. They love to have their hands in their pants.
D No, that's bring the bell for yourself.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I can't even know that far decorm Okay, I know,
be catching strays out here from Maris.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Go on another one on Reddit women and we're asked
to share what they learned about guys once they got
themselves a boyfriend. They said how much they struggle mentally
and don't allow anybody to know about it. Yeah, yeah,
it's just a thing. Well, I also don't.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I mean, in my experience with dudes, y'all don't really
know how.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You don't really know how to let people in.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
You don't know how to be like I'm feeling this,
it's just like, don't touch me.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Every time we let someone in, were hurt. So it's
easier to just oh, shut the people. Do you want
to hug buddy? You're so dark and tragic and unique?
All right? They're be and p float when they're taking
a bath, all right, Okay, huh umm, you'll figure it
out a second. Okay, their bits float when they're taking bath.
Their bees and their past. Yeah, how open they are
(22:41):
about what happened in the bathroom. After you get close
enough're like, wow, something really went down in there. Let
me tell you, this is like nothing I've ever experienced.
Don't go in for about thirty minutes.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
That's fine, but I'm going to return that favor and
make you wallow in my stank word.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
For that sentence too. Finally, women were asked to share
what they learned about us guys once they got themselves. Boyfriend,
they haven't seen them on their ballsack and that's it.
I wish I could have hit that button sooner.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I just yeah, I will say so the first time
we as ladies see that little seam.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I'm sorry, by the way, guys are gross's look how
beautiful women are. And then you put a guy like
I see myself in the mirror, and I'm like, oh
my god, Oh, run from yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
It's actually kind of nice to know that you have
that reaction to you too.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Fineish things you almost certainly need to know. It's the
hell of a community service, I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
So just the community marreors. Oh, don't say it like that.
I already did.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Well, I have a story about seventy three million pounds
of chocolate they'll be eating this Easter.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Oh yeah, they're gonna get chocolate funny and that's all man.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Sorry, I like to publicly apologize hate for the joke
that I just told.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
My chocolate never mind. Don't move on with their life.
Their life, it's not worth it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Oh it's going to total to two billion dollars in sales.
While most people are excited about milk, chocolate are looking
for wild flavor mashups like spicy, salty or sour.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I don't like either one. A few, like Michael.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
A group of cowboys known as Cutthroat Cowboys were caught
on the loosen Walmart with their horses.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
That's not where I thought that was going.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
They claimed that these horses were emotional support. Yeah, incredible,
and there were warrants out for their arrest. The horses
for the there's.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Some crazy horses to turn themselves in, right it in,
my guy? You know, stops a good joke.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
A former grave digger in Italy is now being charged
with reusing burial plots after realizing that he could reuse
other people's plots and move the corpses somewhere else he
got in on a scheme making extra money, along with
eighteen other people and three other funeral homes involved in
this great scheme.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Hey, bad news about how cemeteries work.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Maybe google it because they that's like a normal practice. Weirdly, No, seriously,
like pretty much after the family of the loved one dies,
because there is limited space and cemetery, they'll just kind of,
like I can't remember if they put them deeper or something,
they move the body essentially and put someone else in
that spot.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It's a thing. Google it.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
McDonald's has homemades. Our lemonade is being added to the
permanent menu. The lemonade will feature real lemon juice, bits
of lemon pole, real cane sugar handcrafted by beverage experts
that are citrusly good flavors, real juice.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
We finally get real juice.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Not to brag, world, but we're at a place where
we advertise using real ingredients.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
And finally, a man blamed his crocks on crashing into
a store. A gentleman in Missouri crashed into a come
and go and jets and then he left, So he did, Yes,
(26:48):
he did actually return to the come and go twice
later that day and they questioned him about and he said,
I don't know what you're talking about, because there was
damage to his truck. They went to his house and
then he did admit to the cops that yes, he
did crash into the store, but blame it on his
crocks because the croc got stuck forcing his foot down
on the pedal.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
In the South, they call it come and goes, ejaculate
and evacuates.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
And that is five things on Rock.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Rock ninety five to five. It is the morning mashpit
where we have a very new race that you can
bet on.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Yeah, maybe we should have saved this for sports. The
world's first sperm race will take place before a live
audience of more than a thousand spectators next week. Why
did you shoot it? Because they're pissing me off already.
He's on one today. No, yeah, not very nice. I'm
the problem today. Not very nice at all. The one
(27:45):
million dollar event that will draw thousands of spectators and
plenty of betting slips. Change your tone. Rather than heavyweight
boxers or expensive racehorses to sperm heavyweight head to head
on my chroscopic racetrack. This is kind of cool, actually,
I mean it's weird, but it's kind of interesting. The
(28:06):
world's first organized race between sperm, which measure around zero
point zero five millimeters long, is that to take place
at the Hollywood Palladium in LA next week. They're putting
it in a stadium. It's the Palladium. Even incredible. The
startup behind the idea of sperm racing has designed a
racetrack that mimics the reproductive system, funny copying chemical symbols,
(28:30):
fluid dynamics, and synchronized starts.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
They really went above and beyond for this espn OO
race that they put together.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Well, the sperm, yeah, espn thep all right, Uh, well,
the sperm have little numbers on them like racers. We
don't know, Michael, you're the one telling the story. Those
right on there, so we know who's who. Yeah, I'm
number sixty nine. I'm not supposed to'll be here. Uh.
Eric Zous says, sperm sperm racing isn't joke. Quote, it's
(29:02):
not some viral idea for the Internet to laugh AT's
something much bigger, he says. Quote. Male fertility is declining
a lot. It's happening quietly, steadily, and nobody's really talking
about it and sperm mobility aka how fast your sperm
move turns out to be a massive factor in fertility. No,
could it be all the crap food we eat? Why?
Why is uh? Why is that? Uh? You know? Why
(29:24):
is our sperm failing? Why are they slower than ever?
Must we question God's gifts? We shouldn't, but I would definitely.
Why are terrible? Song? This level of energy? I'll bring
it down here and yell at you can we bet
on these sperm?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Why is there Emma Watson playing behind Maris right now?
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh, sperm talk. He's trying to get the sperm to race.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I tried to learn to fly once, arms gut sore.
It's morning mush, But on rocket ninety five five?
Speaker 1 (30:00):
What are we doing? Boys? Borts? Oh all right, let
me start with this. Chris Bryant, former Chicago cub Star
twenty sixteen National League MVP, has been placed on the
ten day injured list by the Colorado Rockies due to
a lombard degenerative disc disease, which apparently Maris has been
like given him problems for a long time. Yeah, since
(30:20):
he joined the Rockies in twenty twenty two. This marks
Bryant's ninth stint on the injured list since signing his
oh my gosh, seven year, one hundred and eighty two
million dollar contract. Little Rocky to me, yeah, you're not kidding.
I bet the management over there as a little upset.
Thank you, good job. Yeah, speaking of Rocky, the Cubs
(30:42):
bullpen did it again. San Diego Padres beat the Cubs
yesterday ten to four in a late game, and uh,
the internet is not happy with the bullpen, and neither
am I. So we'll just leave it at that. That's
what you're going to leave it at. Leave it that
the Cubs are playing against night, don't leave it there.
Why the blitzent is bad? So bullpen the games like
(31:02):
the backup pictures basically okay. So like when I went
to bed last night, the Cubs were ahead, okay, So
eventually they changed pictures okay, and then suddenly the Padres
could just slam balls off the next guy, no problem
hitting them into the outfield.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Hey, when you change pictures and they have a ball
slamming issue, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I've been there. There's a lot of ball slamming going
on last night. And the cops face was the place,
all right? Did they have that little seam on them too.
The Cubs played tonight against the Padres again another light
game out at Petco Park in San Diego.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Yesterday, WNBA had their draft, no surprise, Hage Buckers went
to the Dallas Wings as the number one Pictures the
Buke All Star out of Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
But what we really want to discuss today.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Is the amazing draft that the Chicago Sky had last night.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I'll work my way backwards. We're going to be respectful. Right.
In the second round, they got Maddy Westbelled forward out
of Notre Dame. Welcome to Chicago.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
They also got Aisha Coolbli guard out of Texas, A
and m By picking people up?
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Yeah a lot. How much you care by the way
that you knew how to pronounce her name?
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Go on, been researching and in the first round, after
they made their picket number ten, a lot of people
were upset that they went with Aisa Speaker forward from Slovenia.
I know I butchered that, and I apologize. We'll get
that right when the season starts.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Hold on Slovenia, you say, yes, Slovenia. How do you
spell that first name? All fair? I can't Okay, Okay,
I'm trying to get I'm trying to get to where
we're going here.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, because a lot of people were upset because Hailey
Vanlift was still on the board.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
But what the people didn't realize is that the Sky
had the eleventh pick after they picked at ten. So
what did they do?
Speaker 3 (32:57):
They went and got guard Hailey van from TCU formally
of LSU, who previously played with Angel Reese.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
And I gotta say now, is this an important position
on the team.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yes, it's a great chemistry build for the team because
Angel Reese and Haley played together and they already start.
So as you're building a team, if they have previous chemistry,
it's just going to go well.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Also, Haley's a smoke show.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I was about to say, I find it interesting that
you're continuously mentioned chemistry and I don't know that I've
ever heard you talk about the w NBA.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Can I get some WNBA tickets for this year? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
We're going to the girl hotan, I mean the Chicago
Sky already, you know they got the games at the
United Center. And more importantly, when we came into this
Sports report, you had commentary that you wanted to add
in about Haley Fanlith.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
She seems like a very talented basketball player. Michael, Yeah,
no noises from me.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Sorry. Was she this Sports Illustrated cover model? Yes, yes
she was.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yes, Welcome to Chicago, well done.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
No fun to the head. The guns out on the
way next, tell me one thing about her previous playing.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Nothing.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Now here's a bit only. No Maria, no Moza, nothing.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Okay, okay, it's time for fun to the Head. It's
a trivia game where I'm most likely going to get
shot for answering questions wrong with NERF guns that we
have in studios.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Oh, you're going to get shot, not necessarily forgetting the questions.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
You do get to pick one of us here in studio,
but I feel like I'm going to get shot today.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
You do get picked a lot. Yeah, I think you're
the safe bet. Yeah, you're a smart boy. Thank you,
You're welcome. I appreciate it. I'm so glad you missed today.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Up for grabs a four pack of tickets to the
Chicago Wolves this Saturday as a taking on the Rockford
Ice Hugs.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Did you have a question, Michael, you.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Said, Maris randomly, No, I said, uh, no question, Okay,
all right, Sorry, my bed.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
It's the live radio show, folks. That's okay, We're all
on it.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
If you want to play eight four four, ninety five
fifty two and now Fun.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
To the Head on Rock. Yeah, don't worry, they're using
nerve weapons Rock ninety five to five. Are we speaking
with Rich?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
What's going on? Rich? Rich?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Sure? I wish I was all of us, all of
us Welcome to Fun to the Head.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
This is the trivia game where you pick one of
us to answer questions for you in order to win
Chicago Wolves tickets. If we get wrong or if we
get questions wrong, we get shot with a nerf gun.
Rich Who Michael?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Are you okay? Yep? Just fired one off into the
ceiling accent?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Rich, Who would you like to pick to answer questions
for you today?
Speaker 1 (36:05):
The way this is going, it's becoming what a week?
What a week? What a week?
Speaker 2 (36:09):
All?
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Right? Here we go? Are you ready? Are you ready?
Here we go? Question number one?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Which Norse god wields a hammer named me and is
associated with thunder go on?
Speaker 1 (36:23):
That would be thor Yeah, we knew that, nailed it, Wealthy?
Did you know that?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
That's okay, okay, that's right. I got you, Wealthy? Are
you not a fan of the Avengers movies? I am?
I'm that's so fair? Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Question number two, what is the chemical symbol for the
element gold?
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I wouldn't have remembered this one. That would be a
got it from a man who owns lots of gold
gold bars? I have gold dust? What must have them?
That wealthy is very familiar with? This? Am? I?
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Right? All right?
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Question number three?
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Which organ in the human body produces insulin?
Speaker 1 (37:17):
To the pinkers? Yeah? Alright, what's up? What's going on?
I guess? So now when you pick mirrors, I feel
like the game is ruined. Yeah, I just.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Yeah, but you've been like really really annoying today.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Duck and cover, higg and duck all your.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Wants, and fortunately they're both really good at shooting me
right now.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Thanks to you, Rich, Actually not thanks to you, because.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah it's fine. I will take these bullets for you
so that you can go see the.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Chicago Wolves, thank you very much. No, alb.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
They are taking on the Rockford ice Hogs this Saturday,
as I believe, this is their last home game before
they get ready for the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Rich, who are you gonna take to the game with you.
I will take my daughters of course. I love that.
I love that. Shout your daughters out really quick, rich uh, Miley,
Payton and Abigail. They are sixteen, seventeen, and twenty two. Oh,
that's gonna be a fun night. And yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I was gonna say, do you have your own set
of NERF guns around for those daughters of yours?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah? I do. They will get shot. Oh congratulations, dude. Yes.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
For everyone else who wants to go see the Chicago
Wolves this weekend, head on over to ticketmaster dot com.
This is Wolves Hockey leird alert.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
It's time to dirk out, dork we shall.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
It is apparent that this Minecraft movie popcorn scenario where
kids are just going absolutely crazy in theater is just continuing.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Yeah, what a nightmare for your parent, or if you're
trying a stupid kid to a movie, if you're trying.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
To clean everything up, like if you if you're you're
working at a movie theater, enjoying life and then all
of a sudden minecrafts in theater and every single showing
it's nightmare.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
You go in there and there's just popcorn floors a
sticky Now buy new clothes, buy your kid new clothes,
sewd all over everything. This is ridiculous. I go to
movie theaters for the cleanliness. Think about the people who
gotta clean that up. That's what I feel for, Yes,
I truly do.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
I feel for the person who actually went to Minecraft
and didn't know what was about to happen with all.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
The screaming and shouting and then they get doused. I'd
just be like, what is going on? I'd be mad
and asking for a refund. This is the thing where
like they're just throwing their popcar.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Minecraft movie for chicken Jockey has taken on a brand
of its own with this movie, and everybody gets really
excited about and everybody apparently had a plan.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
And this is just when they say the word chicken jockey. Yes,
nothing else too.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Jason Black's character says chicken jockey in the middle of
the movie.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
It's a big celebration, nothing clever about it.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
So much so that Jack decided that he was going
to go in and surprise a group of moviegoers.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Wow in theater of a Minecraft movie. Please no throwing
pulp horn and also no las and also absolutely no jockeys.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
It takes a second, but the kids slowly realized that
Jack Black is in theater with them, and they just
lose it before the movie even starts. So Jackson on
the Joe, I'll say this much.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Just enjoy the movie, don't don't go too crazy, and
just wait for it to come out and you watch
it at home and then you can make your home
a mess. They just don't make a mess. Yeah, I
don't know. Am I old? Yes? We are old.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, you're definitely older than the child getting so excited
about the word chicken jockey that they're throwing popcorn on
the ground.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, we hope.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
I think it's mostly teenagers and kids can possibly be adults.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
You know what. Kids and teenagers love to do everything
they're not supposed to. So the more you tell them
to stop, the crazier this is going to know they're
not doing drugs.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Fine, but this also tells me that these kids are
clearly from affluent families. Yeah, because they are wasting a
twenty dollars bucket in.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Maybe there's from affluent families or maybe and don't fall
out of your chair. A child cannot adequately appreciate the
value of a dollar.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
That's very fair. Yeah, that's very fair. I wanta try
this in here. I'm gonna yell chicken jockey and throw
my stuff everywhere and watch what happens. It's like.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
On the Way on Rock ninety five to five ninety
five minutes. Commercial Free is next with the Morning Smells.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Like Nirvana is the first version of that song that
I ever heard. I felt Nirvana threw weird l We
live in a backup back okay, back mess up, backwards, backwards.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
I like to back grads.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
We're yes, Roy five five, let's do a rock report.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Geo from the Deaftones is done signing autographs. Okay. He
has come out and said, quote, go ahead and tell
your friends, I'm not doing this s anymore.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
He's addressing people on the street and a clip that
went viral and he says, you guys go online with
your little groups and s tell them I'm not signing
your s no more. I'm signing these right now. But
let them know nothing else now. A fan on Reddit
has shared several listings of sign Defton's albums and variety
of signed instruments that are going for tons of money. Yeah,
he used to make them more valuable, so no wonder
(43:10):
he got fed up. Yeah, So if you're trying to
get a Chino autograph, or if you have one, it
might be worth worth more. Now yeah, now, And Mark
Oppis is a new book. I know we're doing a
lot of Mark Coppis, but boy, he's got in this book.
He's revealing all kinds of stuff. In his new memoir
Fahrenheit one eighty two, Mark reveals that he may have
helped the US government capture Saddam Hussein. Oh that's a
bold claim. That was quite a turn there on a
(43:32):
Blink one eighty two story. Huh uh huh. He recalls
me talking to a Navy admiral on board an aircraft
carrier in the Persian Gulf and they were talking about
how they couldn't find Saddam Hussein and how he was
sending videos from locations, and Mark said, quote, Sir, I
have a plan for how to catch Saddam Hussein, Which
is funny to hear from Mark Oppis. Right, you're the
guy that says d on stage right and all the
dirty words. Yeah, no kidding, he says, sir, what about
(43:54):
having drones fly all over the region in carpeting patterns,
broadcasting time codes above the level of human hearing, but
at that level that a video recording could catch him.
So that's what they did. You just said a lot
of them. Okay, Yeah, they sent drones out and they
ended up finding him.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I am sure that Mark Hoppus is the one that
planted that idea into the military's head.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
I would like to hope they already were thinking of
that idea, if that's the idea they went with.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Hoppus added that he remembers the General General being genuinely
taken aback by his idea and said that he was
going to pitch it to the chiefs of staff, and
four months later, Saddam Hussein was located and taken down.
I kind of want this story to be real.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
I kind of feel like maybe someone's going through a
little bit of a midlife crisis and talked to in.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
General one time.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Maybe that story got a little embellished in his head.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
But it very well could be true. I want it
to be real. You can find out everything you need
to know about the rock world at rock ninety five
five chi dot com.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
It is commercial free for ninety five minutes because we
are Rock ninety five to five.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Oh that is fun, right o oh ninety five because
of our frequency in ninety five minutes.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Oh what a hoot, stop rock, it's non stop, that
commercial free. I wanted not to Friday, Friday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
I'm me and I'm Maria Palmer and she's got Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
I knew that.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I know what I'm doing at all times. You want
to know why, because I'm good at my job. So
good in fact, that when the corporate chills told me
to put a positive spin on the news headlines, I
was like, yeah, I could probably probably do that and welcome.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
It's bad news bears.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
People killed in seventy one vehicle dust storm, pile up.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Starting hot today. Yes, wow, that's crazy. Those are one
of those storms where people get start getting out of
their cars and you don't get out of your car
because other cars are continuing to crash in. That's the scary.
That happened in the snow in Colorado when I was there,
same type of deal, whiteout conditions, crazy natural disasters, pile
ups and dead people. Bad news bears.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Dude with autism cerebral palsy shot by police.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
No further details on that headline. It's good bad news.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Postal worker in medically induced coma after explosion. We're exploding
the mailmen and putting them into comas. Speaking of explosions,
at least twenty four homes damaged after explosion. Everything's just exploding.
You never know what it's gonna happen in That is
(46:38):
bad news, Bears.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
It was a doozy today, doozy indude. The only thing
that's going to make this better is Rocky.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Oh that would be good news, Bears.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
On the way with your next chance to win one
thousand dollars nine.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
Wow. Man.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
I used to take you higher every night at ten
twenty with the toke back during my night show days,
but unfortunately, dear listener, although I have seen your messages
about bringing the toke back and just wanting a segment
where we smoked it at Jump from Together, we are
now on during FCC listening ourself.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Oh crazy, yeah, not great house, but it is the
morning mosh bit on rock in ninety five five. What
a show today, boys? Oh? Yes, can we do text time?
Yes we should. Can. We wrapped the show with the
thoughts of our fantastic listeners. Yes, love it. You can
always text us A four four nine five five ninety
five to fifty, starting off with two Thursday, we're getting
(47:37):
text about the Thursday live going down. Yeah, May first,
five to seven Fuzzy Line Brewing Company. And in John
from the seven one nine, did I hear correctly that
Marris is having a single mom dance contest for kids
bof tickets at Thursday? You heard incorrectly, because that is
not happening. Yeah, it's gonna be my single mom dance contest,
just giving them away every fifteen minutes. That's from me
(47:59):
from the eighty five and at Thirst Day Live, when
you say you're doing a live podcast, is that being
recorded live or is it going on the radio?
Speaker 2 (48:07):
Great question? Recorded live? Yes, so you can say the
F bomb and we don't have to figure out how
to edit that.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, basically unless something horrific happens and we're just going
to upload it. So if you're there and you see
it happen, you could go back and listen to it.
Actus's you'd be like, Hey, I was there, This is
me leaving the horrific joke alone. Thank you, good job.
From the eight three too, we were talking about earlier
things women learned while dating men, and one of the things.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Was defense who they were that's not a dating situation,
sadly it is.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
One of the things was they were surprised at how
much guys just hold in. Yeah, and we got a
little back and forth about it. But from the A
three too, Michael's right, that's all. One more time from
the A three too, Michael's right. Every single time I've
let someone of the opposite sex in, I've gotten burned.
So yeah, I handle my business by myself. And as
Great White once said, once bitten twice shy. Yeah, Chad
(49:05):
from Jolietta. Next, did you also say you were right?
Speaker 2 (49:09):
Yes, Like relationships work until they don't, you know, that's normal.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Hey, guys, I saw a video of someone actually brought
that Someone actually brought a chicken into the Minecraft movie
and had it out when they said chicken jockey. So
now we're bringing farm animals into the theater. By the way,
you have smuggle that chicken, and don't you that's a
weird thing to do. It's a really weird smuggle, big jacket.
Can you get the like nothing, it's nothing. Don't worry
about it, guys. I'm so sick of all these chickens
(49:34):
in these theaters. I just want to choke them. I
just want to choke the chickens. And finally, it's tax
Day from the three one two, Jeff says, go buy
an original glazed or a sorted dozen of donuts and
you get the second dozen for simply the price of tax.
So we'll tax day treat for you. Okay, wait, Krispy
greenyh God, sorry, yes, Chrisby Green have not enough to
(49:56):
undo the burden of taxes. Yeah, I know, all right,
It's okay. It makes you feel a little bit better,
though taxtick sucks. I think we all agree on that
nobody's looking forward to this day. You can always text
us a four four nine five ninety five fifty. That's
eight four five nine th.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Man Metallic on stage a Lallapalooza a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Hm, so good. Oh yeah, I just.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Cannot get the image of Lars licking sweat off his
face in front of that crowd all night while playing
drums out of my head and I want it to
be gone.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
What do you mean, like he's licking his lips, It's
just started running down his face.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
More than his lips, it was like his whole Like
I don't think that he was conscious of doing it
because he just had sweat dripping down his face.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
But so he's drumming, he's going just sticking his tongue out,
like rubbing his face, the whole mouth.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
And I'm so glad, dear listener, that you couldn't see
that the purge would not be able to wait until
October if you had.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
I have a question.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Okay, you shared that with us because you're being tortured
by this, so everybody had to know.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
And also, dear listener, who was there at that show
knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Lars. I think I tweeted about it.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I said, I'm just a girl standing in front of
Metallica begging Lars to stop backing his face.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
I remember being there. I don't remember that. That's good.
I'm glad that you came out of it unscathed. You're welcome.
It's the morning mash put on Rock ninety five five.
We've had ourselves a day. Is anybody else tired today?
I'm asking, dear listener. Yeah, and I feel like today
is a cloudy day when it would just be fun
to go crawl into bed.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
And it's a Tuesday that feels like it should be
a Friday because we have all the stress of tax Day,
so it feels like we've already been through stressday and
we still have three more days to this week to
get through.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Oh, we'll be here for you and you can join
us and hang out and goof off and have fun
and hopefully your morning will be a little better. I
was going to say the other part, Rocky is going
to be here money, money, money, money, whole day with
a thousand dollars for you to win in case you
owed your taxes this year.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Yes, seriously, give me the refund you deserve, even if
you have to handle our COXO. Be it Rocky the
Rooster on Rock ninety five to five, See you tomorrow.
Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Tuesday is what I think we should do. In addition
to Thursday. I'm gonna find one for every single week.
We're gonna turn this into drinking on the clock. I
think the week swing it.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
That's a good idea. Yeah, I don't think so either.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It's gonna fair morning mash. But I'm rock ninety five five.
But my name is Maria Palmer.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I'm there, voice of reason here, Michael Wow, first time
in my life, and listen for twenty minutes if you
still agree with that. By the way, a couple of
birthdays today. Oddly enough, I really wanted to address this. No,
so she said, I really didn't. He really didn't. She goes, Hey,
it's Seth Rogan's birthday today. Maybe we should talk about it.
Seth Rogan amazing right, Happy birthday, phenomenal.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Act to watch Pineapple Express after great Movies.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I heard his new show is good too. It's called Studio.
I didn't. It's like him. I saw a clip from it.
Looks like he's maybe a director or something, and they're
trying to make movies. They're like on a golf cart
in the Hollywood studios and like the inside of how
things are made. Anyway, screw him. So then who brought
up the other birthday?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It goes, oh, it's I was looking at a list
of birthdays and I was like, it's Emma Watson's birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's a great birthday. Hon't the birthday? I didn't.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I didn't Sully the book the birthday you did, because,
dear I'm trying to tell, dear listener, honestly, I don't
want to hear any more from you in this segment,
because you've disgusted me already. I said it's Emma Watson's
birthday today. Marris goes, that's a birthday to celebrate, and
then he licks his cheeth and goes like that you
(01:38):
might recognize as a.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Horrific combo of sounds and words terror Harry Potter. She was, okay,
that's okay, I'm sure I got the right person.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Asked like, you don't know who Emma Watson is?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
You're not a morning show of lies morning. There's a
nuanced difference. No, I've never seen a movie with her. Well,
I think I know who she is, but I was
just making sure you've seen some AI movies with her.
Wait a minute, that's a thing. Wait a minute. Oh,
The Bling Ring. Yeah that was. That was a great movie.
But there's a lot of Harry Potters crap. Yeah, she was.
(02:12):
I did see Perks of being a Wallflower back in
the day. Okay. Oh, don't forget Beauty and the Beasts
live action that she was. Oh okay, Yeah, finally Disney
did a live action. Wow, you guys are really cultured.
Very good movie. Well, happy birthday to them. Yeah, is
still looking his lips over here. I don't and I
want you to stop. I desperately want you to stop.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I felt myself doing it, but I was. I just
had granola and it's stuck in my teeth.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Say Hermione would hext you, but you'd probably be into that.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Please and thank you. Today on the show, the First
Sperm Race, no terrible. Don't forget Rocky the Rooster is back.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
He's got a thousand dollars for you once an hour
starting after eight ws.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Don't bringing up Rocky right after that too. It's tax day,
by the way, we gotta do some scams to watch
out for people out trying to get to take advantage
of you on tax Day. You know what, now, dare Okay,
she wants to be I thought you were looking to.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Be and now w C HI Weather with Michael we Man,
great career choice, Mike, that's not what they like today.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
A little wet this morning, don't worry, it'll dry up
later and just dried up right now. It's gonna be uh,
it's gonna be just cloudy like kind kind of the
same as it was yesterday, Wendy, this afternoon though, but
tomorrow looking phenomenal. High have like fifty degrees in sunshine
all day. Love that scientific. Yeah, ask your motivation in
(03:53):
today's lead up noise? Yeah, I didn't have anything, Okay.
I was just like I was just gonna start making
no noise and see what happens here and we'll end
it with attle announcement. Lets you know something's coming, you know,
always surprises and I'm there. So yeah, a little cloudy today, Wendy,
(04:21):
and then tomorrow looking pretty nice. Left forgot it, nailed it.
Do you have a tell.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Now?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I have said but true, but we could have happy
but lies. That's what we bring you on the morning
wash bid On Rocket ninety five to five Happy lies storytelling.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's there, it was there. Michael
being frugal is trendy according to a majority of Americans. Boy,
doesn't that say something about the economy. Trendy is a
word we have to widespread, I think, is what we
would say in honor of Financial Progress Month, and new
survey looks at what financial progress means to American and
how much of it we're making. I got Financial Progress Month. Nice,
(05:05):
So we're just titling things. Then, I guess so, I
don't know, I've never heard that before, but that's what
it says. Here, go on and finds it. Being frugal
is in. Yeah, it's necessary. I gotta get better at
the sixty one percent of respondents agreed that it's less
tacky to be frugal now than it was ten years ago.
That's because nobody has any money. Right, people are living
(05:25):
off of credit cards, slashes through the roof, Right, this
is crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yeah, you call it a trend. We call it existing.
You're twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Five, you're living. Yeah. For nearly a quarter of the
two thousand US adults polled, it means. It just means
being cheap, But twice as many respondents to find it
as being careful with money and avoiding unnecessary spending. Something
I have an absolute problem with We were just talking
about that off the air. Yeah, saying that I can.
I kind of like I'm living like a holmeless person
from now on. If it's not free, it's not me. Baby.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
You're not living like a homeless person because you have
a home, but you hate it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Four minutes away, I realized right down the street. I mean,
my god. When it comes to financial progress, forty three
percent say the term simply means being in a better
position than they were a year ago. You know what
financial progress means for me?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
What's that having some money that if things go wrong,
I'll be okay.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I feel like as the year has gone, my car,
I paid off my car, and my car was.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Like, hey buddy, buddy, don't forget about me. Oh yeah,
I got to get some work done.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Here an ode to the check engine light that consens.
When you're savings account gets right back to the market,
it'll pay.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
For an engine change. I got a little bit of
extra scratch. There's a transmission.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Thankfully there was a warranty, but there was a whole
lot of other stuff wrong.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Actually, you know what would be fun? How do you save money?
What's your tip? Send us on the text line eight
four four fifty. What's the will give us? One thing
you do that you say money? Maybe you don't eat
out anymore, maybe you've changed your habits somehow. We love
to hear from you. Americans would rather talk to friends
about who they voted for, their medical concerns and how
often they shower than reveal how much money they have
(07:07):
in the bank. Oh really, Yeah, see, I don't care.
I'm poor. I don't care. I lost my debit card.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh no, I have to go and get a new
one from the bank. And then I was like, Oh,
somebody's out here spending all my money. And then I
looked and was like, they're going to be real manitard
work to steal that car.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That's crazy because I was like, Wow, someone's out here
stealing all my money.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Only it was me. It's me, I'm the problem. Yeah,
I really like uber eats and not cooking. That's all
of us though. Yeah, so much's unfortunate because I'm in
the same boat. It's too easy, and we're on the
sinking shit together.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Your chance to win Chicago Wolves tickets today In Fun
to the Head After eight.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Here on the Morning, Mash Pitt Maria. What war is approaching?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Well, you see, it's been wild to watch technology advance
at the rapid pace it has been, but it is
drawing us ever closer to an inevitable human versus row about.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Who from the front of the inevitable human war.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Google has made an AI model to talk to dolphins.
A new large language model AI system may soon allow
humans to converse with dolphins. Schedule to debut in the
coming months. Researchers will test to see if dolphin Gemma
and its companion cetacean hearing augmentation to tell them at telemetry. Yep,
that's a mouthful.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
You can do words. Yeah, I should just called it chat.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
The chat system can translate and mimic some of the
mammals own complex vocalization.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I'm not about this, No, No, dolphins are evil. Think
about it, though, you could talk to your dog. Well
it's for dolphins, but yeah, you get down the road
a little ways. I'm like, have a little conversations with
my body. But like you're acting like you've been prevented
from doing that as it is already talk to your
dogs all the time.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Dolphins are like gang animals, Like they just man, they're
not as bad as orcus, but dolphins they're mischievous.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, you know the dolphins sleep with one eye open,
do they or their blowhole? Oh maybe that could be
the one. I'd be pretty cool to talk to animals.
Imagine you're out on us so far. You're like, hey, elephant,
you know what he's like.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Then you're like, what do you do saying I don't
want to find out how angry animals are at us.
They're just they're just like, Wow, this building, this trash,
all of this this road my frog friend got ran
over yesterday, and it's all because of you.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I don't need that in my life, because that's how
they get you. Maris, You're absolutely right here.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
It is if we can talk to dolphins, which you
might recognize is one of the only other species on
Earth that has sex just recreationally and not just for reproduction.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
There's a few other we're going to talk to them. Pigs,
We're going to try.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I don't like that we're going to try to relate
to animals. Okay, we're going to You would just shut up.
I could get through this and then we can move
on with our lives in the show. But whatever, I'll
just wait on you. Anyway, we relate to the goddamn
dolphins on this one point, and then they go, no,
what are you talking about. We actually don't like to
(10:14):
have sex, and they convince us that maybe sex isn't
that much fun, and then we stop having sex, and
then the human population decreases. We just replace it with
the robots that helped us talk to the dolphins in
the first place. Convenient, and then they win the inevitable
human versus robot war.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
This news from the front of the inevitable human robot war.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
We're gonna start a kiss cover band will be called
Hug this morning mash bit on Rock ninety five to five.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
You didn't want to call them Keith Keith spelled k
I T eight Keith. Now you can still sue you
for that. Yeah, wow, you called it different. I'm sure
he has.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
That will be wearing the exact same makeup and definitely
those boots.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
The boy knows how to rock some heales my god.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Okay, well pain is beauty. Anyway, what are we doing?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It's tax day and I got a couple of scams
to look out for. Yeah, you made them up right
now now they say this, Yes, these are the ones
I'm trying. Yep. No, they say today is a big
day to get hit by scams. People don't like doing
their taxes. They're looking for easy way out, so looking
for any help they can get. And it seems like
if it seems too good to be drew, that probably
is all right. Number four, beware of social media. There's
(11:24):
a lot of people on TikTok who come on and
give tips and stuff, and a lot of that stuff
is just not correct. And if you use their tips
on your tax returns or doing certain things certain ways,
you're gonna pay for it. Yeah, so double check everything,
be sure it's right. Number three, check whose name is
on your tax return, which seems like it would make sense,
(11:45):
but like what they were saying on the news essentially
is that people will try to do your taxes and
have it sent back to them, and it's like a
whole just a fraud thing. Just make sure everything on
the paper is correct. It's the point of the Social
Security number.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, I listen, I'm gonna say they want all this
nothing that's coming back, they can have it.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, no kidding. They do say a way to be
even more sure that everything's going to get done correctly
is go to IRS dot com and make an account.
Even if someone else is doing your taxes or whatever.
It sort of just links you up and then everything
is like in the wheelhouse and you know, yeah, nobody
can go in and like mess with your stuff. But
I'm smart. Then Number one, do not open any text
(12:23):
or email from the IRS that has a link. Yeah,
they don't send links. Yeah exactly, So they said. The
IRS came out and they're like, we don't ever send
links in anything. If it has a link, it's not
from us. If only there were an easier way to
do this.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Entire thing, other than hey, I know that what you made,
and you know what you made, and now you have
to decide, oh, you actually show us otherwise you're going
to go to jail, straight to jail. Unfortunately, we've tried
everything and there simply is no other system.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
This is the most efficient one. How you say that
we don't have to sit and worry about tax I
mean we don't have to.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I mean I'm gonna we technically have the choice, but
I like not going to jail.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I mean it's a good thing, not going to jail
or prison. Yes, my main goal in life is avoid prison.
I like being outside too much. You're not doing a
good job, Michael. I've got to be so honest with you.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Just some things that you say here on Rock ninety
five five they make me a little bit concerned. Don't worry, Radiohead.
We don't belong here either, but we're staying this morning,
mosh pit. I'm Rock ninety five.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Five not going anywhere. No, we are not. What's happening, boys?
All right?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
So there is a mathematical formula for a truly joyful day.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Thank god.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
They have picked some very specific factors.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm gonna do it for you.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I got it. I got you, guys. I'm excited about this.
So there's some very specific factors. You can change the
allotments for each you, guys, let me know if you
want more or less?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Okay, more or less? All right? It starts with family. Okay.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
They say that you should have about six hours of
family time for a truly joyful day.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Do you want more or less? My family lives in
Washington State.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah. They must mean like if you have a spoun
house in children or things of that nature.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Well, what about our roommate, I'll count it? What about
my daughter?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Let's call it live in I'm gonna make Ashley hang
out with me for six hours a day.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
There it is. It doesn't count for us in here.
It's like five hours a day.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Probably this is called work, I know, but okay, okay, okay,
I make the best of it. Sorry, worker guy. No, sorry,
we're not friends. You're welcome. The next one is friends.
How much time?
Speaker 3 (14:49):
So they have two hours listed for friends. I would
increase that one in decrease family.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Where is this extra eight hours a day coming from? No,
it's a whole twenty four hours. It's a whole twenty
four hours. Okay, I want to sleep at some point. Work. Well,
it's a joyful day, so work.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm not quite sure what they mean by extra socializing,
but they.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Have that at one and a half hours socializing. Okay,
Look at mister popular over here.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
He's got friends and family and extra socializing on top
of it.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
And by the way, doesn't he seem much more put together?
Maybe there's something too exercise. They have it at two hours. Okay,
I absolutely decrease that for something else, I e. This
next line, eating and drinking. They only have it one hour.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
No, No, I like to enjoy my meals.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I would like my six hours with my eating and drinking. Yes,
actually that's valid.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Or if I could mix my eating and drinking with
friends or family, let's double up there.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Please don't eat or drink your friends or family.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I'm going to what's next? This is the one I
think we'll all agree on. Work six hours?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
How about zero hours? That's what I'm saying. Zero hours
of work a truly joyful day. It does not involve work, right,
truly joyful. I like working when I don't have On
the weekends when I don't have to work, I'm like,
what am I doing with my life here?
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Really?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Because on the weekends, I'm like, I love not waking
up at the morning. Let me rephrase what I I
agree with you. The waking up part is hard, but
this is fun. Yeah, yeah, spoiled. They only say that
you need about an hour of screen time.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I know what I needde We're talking about what I
want and what would make me joyful.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
And then to wrap all this up and chaos. Okay,
fifteen minute commute.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
There is no world in which any commute is part
of a joyous day.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I like my walk to work. It's like five minutes.
You are four minutes from the build, Little fresh air.
How you doing you talk all the time. You say
one sentence, boom, you suck the air out of the room.
August sixteenth, Credit Union won Amphitheater. You could see those
guys Jimmy Eat World with Newfound Glory, supporting a big
(17:06):
offspring show Rock ninety five, Chicago's rock station and speak
in a big show in adequately size. It's a big show.
It'll still please you. It might not be the biggest,
but you'll leave happy.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, we are talking, of course, dear listener, He's right.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
No, I have eye line with that about our first
day live show.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Let's go Fuzzy Line Brewing Company that's out in Highland
in John.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
A fuzzy line is so fun to say. It really
is a fuzzy line. Call us on the fuzzy Line.
I really think you're enjoying saying Indiana much more? Well,
I don't say Indiana. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
How do you say it in Johona? Yes, keep it classy. Yes,
May first, five to seven pm. There's gonna be Shenan
against I'm bringing the kazoos back again. I have a
zoo for you, just a bag of kazoos like Santa Claus.
I I feel like I would like a matching suit. Please, Yeah,
(18:09):
I got kazoos for you. Please bring a weird instrument.
I will drag you on stage. We will make beautiful music. Literally,
to be so clear. Please don't take any metaphors for
making beautiful.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Music with me. Do I get to be Santa Claus
that day too? Yes?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Mylort shots Thursday clause, Thursday clause, Thursday clause.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
You could give up mort shots well no, or you
could give out.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I was thinking something that the people have been asking for,
screaming for, begging for.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Oh kids, kids okay, ladies.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Weird to bring up right after we say kids okay,
But we do have kids wat tickets for you to win.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Fifteen minutes. I'm going to make you give them away.
Oh no, oh no, I was gonna sacrifice myself for
this one. Fall on the sword. Even single Mom's got
to sit on his lap to talk, tell him that
he wants the kids pop? Can you turn down his
mic and so you can get through this? Is it
gonna be a red suit? O care? Anyway?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Fuzzy Line Brewing Company five to son, We're gonna do
a live podcast.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Also, Yeah, I can't wait for that. That's gonna be
very fun. You might. We could pull you right up
out of the crowd to be in it.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yes, we are your puppets, and you tell us how
to dance basically, and then you get on stage and
you dance with us.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
It's a good time. It's gonna be fun. Yeah, you
can't be a puppet. Yeah you can. No, yeah you can.
I'm like meive five. We're gonna talk about women, women,
what you change her? Women are real? What they learned
(19:48):
about dating men that way? Do we have kids up
tickets on the way, Yes, we do have those.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Oh yes, oh may first you're we have Fuzzy Lane
Brewing Company for Thursday Lives.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Green Day on Rock ninety five to five had a
very explosive into their set at Coachella when a firework
went astray and set a palm tree on fire.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Crazy. Everybody was safe though your people palm tree, palmer.
It's a long way around on that. It's okay. Thank
you for explaining it so surreal for Michael to be
explaining and joke.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Tamaris, thank you. I feel like I'm in the twilight
Zone right now.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
On read it. Speaking of the Twilight Zone, I've read
it women were asked to share what they learned about
us guys once they got themselves a boyfriend. And here's
some of what they have to say. No, boy, this
be exciting. I have thoughts. Uh, sometimes they really do
just think about nothing. Yeah, damn straight. That one's bonkers
to me. That blows my mind. You guys are thinking
about what we're thinking about all the time. And you
(20:47):
know what we're thinking about nothing, nada, zilch because you
don't have to because we are thinking about the fine
all the time. Guys are so much easier than people think.
We're so dumb. I mean not dumb. We're just like
we're so easy. Stop right there. We're just I want
to go to work, I want to come home and
eat dinner. I want to watch some sports and then
(21:07):
do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Yeah, we do all want those things. Someone's got to
like make the dinner though, and make.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
I'll make it fine with that. I don't cook. Yeah,
I can make my own dinner and watch. You can
do it for yourself. Here's another one. Uh, they can
move their wand while squeezing their butt. Okay, all right, Harry, potter.
They would rather break their arms than bring the groceries
(21:34):
in and multiple trips. That is true, very true. That
one's valid. They love to have their hands in their pants.
D No, that's bring the bell for yourself.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I can't even know that far decorm Okay, I know,
be catching strays out here from Maris.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Go on another one on Reddit women and we're asked
to share what they learned about guys once they got
themselves a boyfriend. They said how much they struggle mentally
and don't allow anybody to know about it. Yeah, yeah,
it's just a thing. Well, I also don't.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I mean, in my experience with dudes, y'all don't really
know how.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You don't really know how to let people in.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
You don't know how to be like I'm feeling this,
it's just like, don't touch me.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Every time we let someone in, were hurt. So it's
easier to just oh, shut the people. Do you want
to hug buddy? You're so dark and tragic and unique?
All right? They're be and p float when they're taking
a bath, all right, Okay, huh umm, you'll figure it
out a second. Okay, their bits float when they're taking bath.
Their bees and their past. Yeah, how open they are
(22:41):
about what happened in the bathroom. After you get close
enough're like, wow, something really went down in there. Let
me tell you, this is like nothing I've ever experienced.
Don't go in for about thirty minutes.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
That's fine, but I'm going to return that favor and
make you wallow in my stank word.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
For that sentence too. Finally, women were asked to share
what they learned about us guys once they got themselves. Boyfriend,
they haven't seen them on their ballsack and that's it.
I wish I could have hit that button sooner.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I just yeah, I will say so the first time
we as ladies see that little seam.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
I'm sorry, by the way, guys are gross's look how
beautiful women are. And then you put a guy like
I see myself in the mirror, and I'm like, oh
my god, Oh, run from yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
It's actually kind of nice to know that you have
that reaction to you too.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Fineish things you almost certainly need to know. It's the
hell of a community service, I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
So just the community marreors. Oh, don't say it like that.
I already did.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Well, I have a story about seventy three million pounds
of chocolate they'll be eating this Easter.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Oh yeah, they're gonna get chocolate funny and that's all man.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Sorry, I like to publicly apologize hate for the joke
that I just told.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
My chocolate never mind. Don't move on with their life.
Their life, it's not worth it.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Oh it's going to total to two billion dollars in sales.
While most people are excited about milk, chocolate are looking
for wild flavor mashups like spicy, salty or sour.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I don't like either one. A few, like Michael.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
A group of cowboys known as Cutthroat Cowboys were caught
on the loosen Walmart with their horses.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
That's not where I thought that was going.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
They claimed that these horses were emotional support. Yeah, incredible,
and there were warrants out for their arrest. The horses
for the there's.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Some crazy horses to turn themselves in, right it in,
my guy? You know, stops a good joke.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
A former grave digger in Italy is now being charged
with reusing burial plots after realizing that he could reuse
other people's plots and move the corpses somewhere else he
got in on a scheme making extra money, along with
eighteen other people and three other funeral homes involved in
this great scheme.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Hey, bad news about how cemeteries work.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Maybe google it because they that's like a normal practice. Weirdly, No, seriously,
like pretty much after the family of the loved one dies,
because there is limited space and cemetery, they'll just kind of,
like I can't remember if they put them deeper or something,
they move the body essentially and put someone else in
that spot.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It's a thing. Google it.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
McDonald's has homemades. Our lemonade is being added to the
permanent menu. The lemonade will feature real lemon juice, bits
of lemon pole, real cane sugar handcrafted by beverage experts
that are citrusly good flavors, real juice.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
We finally get real juice.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Not to brag, world, but we're at a place where
we advertise using real ingredients.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
And finally, a man blamed his crocks on crashing into
a store. A gentleman in Missouri crashed into a come
and go and jets and then he left, So he did, Yes,
(26:48):
he did actually return to the come and go twice
later that day and they questioned him about and he said,
I don't know what you're talking about, because there was
damage to his truck. They went to his house and
then he did admit to the cops that yes, he
did crash into the store, but blame it on his
crocks because the croc got stuck forcing his foot down
on the pedal.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
In the South, they call it come and goes, ejaculate
and evacuates.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
And that is five things on Rock.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Rock ninety five to five. It is the morning mashpit
where we have a very new race that you can
bet on.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Yeah, maybe we should have saved this for sports. The
world's first sperm race will take place before a live
audience of more than a thousand spectators next week. Why
did you shoot it? Because they're pissing me off already.
He's on one today. No, yeah, not very nice. I'm
the problem today. Not very nice at all. The one
(27:45):
million dollar event that will draw thousands of spectators and
plenty of betting slips. Change your tone. Rather than heavyweight
boxers or expensive racehorses to sperm heavyweight head to head
on my chroscopic racetrack. This is kind of cool, actually,
I mean it's weird, but it's kind of interesting. The
(28:06):
world's first organized race between sperm, which measure around zero
point zero five millimeters long, is that to take place
at the Hollywood Palladium in LA next week. They're putting
it in a stadium. It's the Palladium. Even incredible. The
startup behind the idea of sperm racing has designed a
racetrack that mimics the reproductive system, funny copying chemical symbols,
(28:30):
fluid dynamics, and synchronized starts.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
They really went above and beyond for this espn OO
race that they put together.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Well, the sperm, yeah, espn thep all right, Uh, well,
the sperm have little numbers on them like racers. We
don't know, Michael, you're the one telling the story. Those
right on there, so we know who's who. Yeah, I'm
number sixty nine. I'm not supposed to'll be here. Uh.
Eric Zous says, sperm sperm racing isn't joke. Quote, it's
(29:02):
not some viral idea for the Internet to laugh AT's
something much bigger, he says. Quote. Male fertility is declining
a lot. It's happening quietly, steadily, and nobody's really talking
about it and sperm mobility aka how fast your sperm
move turns out to be a massive factor in fertility. No,
could it be all the crap food we eat? Why?
Why is uh? Why is that? Uh? You know? Why
(29:24):
is our sperm failing? Why are they slower than ever?
Must we question God's gifts? We shouldn't, but I would definitely.
Why are terrible? Song? This level of energy? I'll bring
it down here and yell at you can we bet
on these sperm?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Why is there Emma Watson playing behind Maris right now?
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Oh, sperm talk. He's trying to get the sperm to race.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I tried to learn to fly once, arms gut sore.
It's morning mush, But on rocket ninety five five?
Speaker 1 (30:00):
What are we doing? Boys? Borts? Oh all right, let
me start with this. Chris Bryant, former Chicago cub Star
twenty sixteen National League MVP, has been placed on the
ten day injured list by the Colorado Rockies due to
a lombard degenerative disc disease, which apparently Maris has been
like given him problems for a long time. Yeah, since
(30:20):
he joined the Rockies in twenty twenty two. This marks
Bryant's ninth stint on the injured list since signing his
oh my gosh, seven year, one hundred and eighty two
million dollar contract. Little Rocky to me, yeah, you're not kidding.
I bet the management over there as a little upset.
Thank you, good job. Yeah, speaking of Rocky, the Cubs
(30:42):
bullpen did it again. San Diego Padres beat the Cubs
yesterday ten to four in a late game, and uh,
the internet is not happy with the bullpen, and neither
am I. So we'll just leave it at that. That's
what you're going to leave it at. Leave it that
the Cubs are playing against night, don't leave it there.
Why the blitzent is bad? So bullpen the games like
(31:02):
the backup pictures basically okay. So like when I went
to bed last night, the Cubs were ahead, okay, So
eventually they changed pictures okay, and then suddenly the Padres
could just slam balls off the next guy, no problem
hitting them into the outfield.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Hey, when you change pictures and they have a ball
slamming issue, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I've been there. There's a lot of ball slamming going
on last night. And the cops face was the place,
all right? Did they have that little seam on them too.
The Cubs played tonight against the Padres again another light
game out at Petco Park in San Diego.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Yesterday, WNBA had their draft, no surprise, Hage Buckers went
to the Dallas Wings as the number one Pictures the
Buke All Star out of Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
But what we really want to discuss today.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Is the amazing draft that the Chicago Sky had last night.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I'll work my way backwards. We're going to be respectful. Right.
In the second round, they got Maddy Westbelled forward out
of Notre Dame. Welcome to Chicago.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
They also got Aisha Coolbli guard out of Texas, A
and m By picking people up?
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Yeah a lot. How much you care by the way
that you knew how to pronounce her name?
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Go on, been researching and in the first round, after
they made their picket number ten, a lot of people
were upset that they went with Aisa Speaker forward from Slovenia.
I know I butchered that, and I apologize. We'll get
that right when the season starts.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Hold on Slovenia, you say, yes, Slovenia. How do you
spell that first name? All fair? I can't Okay, Okay,
I'm trying to get I'm trying to get to where
we're going here.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, because a lot of people were upset because Hailey
Vanlift was still on the board.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
But what the people didn't realize is that the Sky
had the eleventh pick after they picked at ten. So
what did they do?
Speaker 3 (32:57):
They went and got guard Hailey van from TCU formally
of LSU, who previously played with Angel Reese.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
And I gotta say now, is this an important position
on the team.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Yes, it's a great chemistry build for the team because
Angel Reese and Haley played together and they already start.
So as you're building a team, if they have previous chemistry,
it's just going to go well.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Also, Haley's a smoke show.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I was about to say, I find it interesting that
you're continuously mentioned chemistry and I don't know that I've
ever heard you talk about the w NBA.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Can I get some WNBA tickets for this year? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
We're going to the girl hotan, I mean the Chicago
Sky already, you know they got the games at the
United Center. And more importantly, when we came into this
Sports report, you had commentary that you wanted to add
in about Haley Fanlith.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
She seems like a very talented basketball player. Michael, Yeah,
no noises from me.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Sorry. Was she this Sports Illustrated cover model? Yes, yes
she was.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yes, Welcome to Chicago, well done.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
No fun to the head. The guns out on the
way next, tell me one thing about her previous playing.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Nothing.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Now here's a bit only. No Maria, no Moza, nothing.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Okay, okay, it's time for fun to the Head. It's
a trivia game where I'm most likely going to get
shot for answering questions wrong with NERF guns that we
have in studios.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Oh, you're going to get shot, not necessarily forgetting the questions.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
You do get to pick one of us here in studio,
but I feel like I'm going to get shot today.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
You do get picked a lot. Yeah, I think you're
the safe bet. Yeah, you're a smart boy. Thank you,
You're welcome. I appreciate it. I'm so glad you missed today.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Up for grabs a four pack of tickets to the
Chicago Wolves this Saturday as a taking on the Rockford
Ice Hugs.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Did you have a question, Michael, you.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Said, Maris randomly, No, I said, uh, no question, Okay,
all right, Sorry, my bed.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
It's the live radio show, folks. That's okay, We're all
on it.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
If you want to play eight four four, ninety five
fifty two and now Fun.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
To the Head on Rock. Yeah, don't worry, they're using
nerve weapons Rock ninety five to five. Are we speaking
with Rich?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
What's going on? Rich? Rich?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Sure? I wish I was all of us, all of
us Welcome to Fun to the Head.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
This is the trivia game where you pick one of
us to answer questions for you in order to win
Chicago Wolves tickets. If we get wrong or if we
get questions wrong, we get shot with a nerf gun.
Rich Who Michael?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Are you okay? Yep? Just fired one off into the
ceiling accent?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Rich, Who would you like to pick to answer questions
for you today?
Speaker 1 (36:05):
The way this is going, it's becoming what a week?
What a week? What a week?
Speaker 2 (36:09):
All?
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Right? Here we go? Are you ready? Are you ready?
Here we go? Question number one?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Which Norse god wields a hammer named me and is
associated with thunder go on?
Speaker 1 (36:23):
That would be thor Yeah, we knew that, nailed it, Wealthy?
Did you know that?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
No?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
That's okay, okay, that's right. I got you, Wealthy? Are
you not a fan of the Avengers movies? I am?
I'm that's so fair? Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Question number two, what is the chemical symbol for the
element gold?
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I wouldn't have remembered this one. That would be a
got it from a man who owns lots of gold
gold bars? I have gold dust? What must have them?
That wealthy is very familiar with? This? Am? I?
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Right? All right?
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Question number three?
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Which organ in the human body produces insulin?
Speaker 1 (37:17):
To the pinkers? Yeah? Alright, what's up? What's going on?
I guess? So now when you pick mirrors, I feel
like the game is ruined. Yeah, I just.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Yeah, but you've been like really really annoying today.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Duck and cover, higg and duck all your.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Wants, and fortunately they're both really good at shooting me
right now.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Thanks to you, Rich, Actually not thanks to you, because.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
Yeah it's fine. I will take these bullets for you
so that you can go see the.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Chicago Wolves, thank you very much. No, alb.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
They are taking on the Rockford ice Hogs this Saturday,
as I believe, this is their last home game before
they get ready for the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Rich, who are you gonna take to the game with you.
I will take my daughters of course. I love that.
I love that. Shout your daughters out really quick, rich uh, Miley,
Payton and Abigail. They are sixteen, seventeen, and twenty two. Oh,
that's gonna be a fun night. And yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I was gonna say, do you have your own set
of NERF guns around for those daughters of yours?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah? I do. They will get shot. Oh congratulations, dude. Yes.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
For everyone else who wants to go see the Chicago
Wolves this weekend, head on over to ticketmaster dot com.
This is Wolves Hockey leird alert.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
It's time to dirk out, dork we shall.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
It is apparent that this Minecraft movie popcorn scenario where
kids are just going absolutely crazy in theater is just continuing.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Yeah, what a nightmare for your parent, or if you're
trying a stupid kid to a movie, if you're trying.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
To clean everything up, like if you if you're you're
working at a movie theater, enjoying life and then all
of a sudden minecrafts in theater and every single showing
it's nightmare.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
You go in there and there's just popcorn floors a
sticky Now buy new clothes, buy your kid new clothes,
sewd all over everything. This is ridiculous. I go to
movie theaters for the cleanliness. Think about the people who
gotta clean that up. That's what I feel for, Yes,
I truly do.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
I feel for the person who actually went to Minecraft
and didn't know what was about to happen with all.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
The screaming and shouting and then they get doused. I'd
just be like, what is going on? I'd be mad
and asking for a refund. This is the thing where
like they're just throwing their popcar.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Minecraft movie for chicken Jockey has taken on a brand
of its own with this movie, and everybody gets really
excited about and everybody apparently had a plan.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
And this is just when they say the word chicken jockey. Yes,
nothing else too.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Jason Black's character says chicken jockey in the middle of
the movie.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
It's a big celebration, nothing clever about it.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
So much so that Jack decided that he was going
to go in and surprise a group of moviegoers.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Wow in theater of a Minecraft movie. Please no throwing
pulp horn and also no las and also absolutely no jockeys.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
It takes a second, but the kids slowly realized that
Jack Black is in theater with them, and they just
lose it before the movie even starts. So Jackson on
the Joe, I'll say this much.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Just enjoy the movie, don't don't go too crazy, and
just wait for it to come out and you watch
it at home and then you can make your home
a mess. They just don't make a mess. Yeah, I
don't know. Am I old? Yes? We are old.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, you're definitely older than the child getting so excited
about the word chicken jockey that they're throwing popcorn on
the ground.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, we hope.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
I think it's mostly teenagers and kids can possibly be adults.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
You know what. Kids and teenagers love to do everything
they're not supposed to. So the more you tell them
to stop, the crazier this is going to know they're
not doing drugs.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
Fine, but this also tells me that these kids are
clearly from affluent families. Yeah, because they are wasting a
twenty dollars bucket in.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Maybe there's from affluent families or maybe and don't fall
out of your chair. A child cannot adequately appreciate the
value of a dollar.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
That's very fair. Yeah, that's very fair. I wanta try
this in here. I'm gonna yell chicken jockey and throw
my stuff everywhere and watch what happens. It's like.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
On the Way on Rock ninety five to five ninety
five minutes. Commercial Free is next with the Morning Smells.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Like Nirvana is the first version of that song that
I ever heard. I felt Nirvana threw weird l We
live in a backup back okay, back mess up, backwards, backwards.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
I like to back grads.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
We're yes, Roy five five, let's do a rock report.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Geo from the Deaftones is done signing autographs. Okay. He
has come out and said, quote, go ahead and tell
your friends, I'm not doing this s anymore.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
He's addressing people on the street and a clip that
went viral and he says, you guys go online with
your little groups and s tell them I'm not signing
your s no more. I'm signing these right now. But
let them know nothing else now. A fan on Reddit
has shared several listings of sign Defton's albums and variety
of signed instruments that are going for tons of money. Yeah,
he used to make them more valuable, so no wonder
(43:10):
he got fed up. Yeah, So if you're trying to
get a Chino autograph, or if you have one, it
might be worth worth more. Now yeah, now, And Mark
Oppis is a new book. I know we're doing a
lot of Mark Coppis, but boy, he's got in this book.
He's revealing all kinds of stuff. In his new memoir
Fahrenheit one eighty two, Mark reveals that he may have
helped the US government capture Saddam Hussein. Oh that's a
bold claim. That was quite a turn there on a
(43:32):
Blink one eighty two story. Huh uh huh. He recalls
me talking to a Navy admiral on board an aircraft
carrier in the Persian Gulf and they were talking about
how they couldn't find Saddam Hussein and how he was
sending videos from locations, and Mark said, quote, Sir, I
have a plan for how to catch Saddam Hussein, Which
is funny to hear from Mark Oppis. Right, you're the
guy that says d on stage right and all the
dirty words. Yeah, no kidding, he says, sir, what about
(43:54):
having drones fly all over the region in carpeting patterns,
broadcasting time codes above the level of human hearing, but
at that level that a video recording could catch him.
So that's what they did. You just said a lot
of them. Okay, Yeah, they sent drones out and they
ended up finding him.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I am sure that Mark Hoppus is the one that
planted that idea into the military's head.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
I would like to hope they already were thinking of
that idea, if that's the idea they went with.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Hoppus added that he remembers the General General being genuinely
taken aback by his idea and said that he was
going to pitch it to the chiefs of staff, and
four months later, Saddam Hussein was located and taken down.
I kind of want this story to be real.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
I kind of feel like maybe someone's going through a
little bit of a midlife crisis and talked to in.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
General one time.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Maybe that story got a little embellished in his head.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
But it very well could be true. I want it
to be real. You can find out everything you need
to know about the rock world at rock ninety five
five chi dot com.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
It is commercial free for ninety five minutes because we
are Rock ninety five to five.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Oh that is fun, right o oh ninety five because
of our frequency in ninety five minutes.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Oh what a hoot, stop rock, it's non stop, that
commercial free. I wanted not to Friday, Friday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
I'm me and I'm Maria Palmer and she's got Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
I knew that.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I know what I'm doing at all times. You want
to know why, because I'm good at my job. So
good in fact, that when the corporate chills told me
to put a positive spin on the news headlines, I
was like, yeah, I could probably probably do that and welcome.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
It's bad news bears.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
People killed in seventy one vehicle dust storm, pile up.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Starting hot today. Yes, wow, that's crazy. Those are one
of those storms where people get start getting out of
their cars and you don't get out of your car
because other cars are continuing to crash in. That's the scary.
That happened in the snow in Colorado when I was there,
same type of deal, whiteout conditions, crazy natural disasters, pile
ups and dead people. Bad news bears.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Dude with autism cerebral palsy shot by police.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
No further details on that headline. It's good bad news.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Postal worker in medically induced coma after explosion. We're exploding
the mailmen and putting them into comas. Speaking of explosions,
at least twenty four homes damaged after explosion. Everything's just exploding.
You never know what it's gonna happen in That is
(46:38):
bad news, Bears.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
It was a doozy today, doozy indude. The only thing
that's going to make this better is Rocky.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Oh that would be good news, Bears.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
On the way with your next chance to win one
thousand dollars nine.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
Wow. Man.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
I used to take you higher every night at ten
twenty with the toke back during my night show days,
but unfortunately, dear listener, although I have seen your messages
about bringing the toke back and just wanting a segment
where we smoked it at Jump from Together, we are
now on during FCC listening ourself.
Speaker 1 (47:15):
Oh crazy, yeah, not great house, but it is the
morning mosh bit on rock in ninety five five. What
a show today, boys? Oh? Yes, can we do text time?
Yes we should. Can. We wrapped the show with the
thoughts of our fantastic listeners. Yes, love it. You can
always text us A four four nine five five ninety
five to fifty, starting off with two Thursday, we're getting
(47:37):
text about the Thursday live going down. Yeah, May first,
five to seven Fuzzy Line Brewing Company. And in John
from the seven one nine, did I hear correctly that
Marris is having a single mom dance contest for kids
bof tickets at Thursday? You heard incorrectly, because that is
not happening. Yeah, it's gonna be my single mom dance contest,
just giving them away every fifteen minutes. That's from me
(47:59):
from the eighty five and at Thirst Day Live, when
you say you're doing a live podcast, is that being
recorded live or is it going on the radio?
Speaker 2 (48:07):
Great question? Recorded live? Yes, so you can say the
F bomb and we don't have to figure out how
to edit that.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, basically unless something horrific happens and we're just going
to upload it. So if you're there and you see
it happen, you could go back and listen to it.
Actus's you'd be like, Hey, I was there, This is
me leaving the horrific joke alone. Thank you, good job.
From the eight three too, we were talking about earlier
things women learned while dating men, and one of the things.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Was defense who they were that's not a dating situation,
sadly it is.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
One of the things was they were surprised at how
much guys just hold in. Yeah, and we got a
little back and forth about it. But from the A
three too, Michael's right, that's all. One more time from
the A three too, Michael's right. Every single time I've
let someone of the opposite sex in, I've gotten burned.
So yeah, I handle my business by myself. And as
Great White once said, once bitten twice shy. Yeah, Chad
(49:05):
from Jolietta. Next, did you also say you were right?
Speaker 2 (49:09):
Yes, Like relationships work until they don't, you know, that's normal.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Hey, guys, I saw a video of someone actually brought
that Someone actually brought a chicken into the Minecraft movie
and had it out when they said chicken jockey. So
now we're bringing farm animals into the theater. By the way,
you have smuggle that chicken, and don't you that's a
weird thing to do. It's a really weird smuggle, big jacket.
Can you get the like nothing, it's nothing. Don't worry
about it, guys. I'm so sick of all these chickens
(49:34):
in these theaters. I just want to choke them. I
just want to choke the chickens. And finally, it's tax
Day from the three one two, Jeff says, go buy
an original glazed or a sorted dozen of donuts and
you get the second dozen for simply the price of tax.
So we'll tax day treat for you. Okay, wait, Krispy
greenyh God, sorry, yes, Chrisby Green have not enough to
(49:56):
undo the burden of taxes. Yeah, I know, all right,
It's okay. It makes you feel a little bit better,
though taxtick sucks. I think we all agree on that
nobody's looking forward to this day. You can always text
us a four four nine five ninety five fifty. That's
eight four five nine th.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
Man Metallic on stage a Lallapalooza a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Hm, so good. Oh yeah, I just.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
Cannot get the image of Lars licking sweat off his
face in front of that crowd all night while playing
drums out of my head and I want it to
be gone.
Speaker 1 (50:38):
What do you mean, like he's licking his lips, It's
just started running down his face.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
More than his lips, it was like his whole Like
I don't think that he was conscious of doing it
because he just had sweat dripping down his face.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
But so he's drumming, he's going just sticking his tongue out,
like rubbing his face, the whole mouth.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
And I'm so glad, dear listener, that you couldn't see
that the purge would not be able to wait until
October if you had.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
I have a question.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Okay, you shared that with us because you're being tortured
by this, so everybody had to know.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
And also, dear listener, who was there at that show
knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
Lars. I think I tweeted about it.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I said, I'm just a girl standing in front of
Metallica begging Lars to stop backing his face.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
I remember being there. I don't remember that. That's good.
I'm glad that you came out of it unscathed. You're welcome.
It's the morning mash put on Rock ninety five five.
We've had ourselves a day. Is anybody else tired today?
I'm asking, dear listener. Yeah, and I feel like today
is a cloudy day when it would just be fun
to go crawl into bed.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
And it's a Tuesday that feels like it should be
a Friday because we have all the stress of tax Day,
so it feels like we've already been through stressday and
we still have three more days to this week to
get through.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Oh, we'll be here for you and you can join
us and hang out and goof off and have fun
and hopefully your morning will be a little better. I
was going to say the other part, Rocky is going
to be here money, money, money, money, whole day with
a thousand dollars for you to win in case you
owed your taxes this year.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Yes, seriously, give me the refund you deserve, even if
you have to handle our COXO. Be it Rocky the
Rooster on Rock ninety five to five, See you tomorrow.
Popular Podcasts
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!