January 5, 2024 • 18 mins
First episode of the New Year... Perfect time to ask yourself some serious questions about yourself... and since I'm talking to myself, this should be pretty easy. These came from a Harvard-trained psychologist... so they are wicked smahhht.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
First week of twenty twenty four,So I figured, why not do the
first episode this year of talking tomyself? And I say this every year.
It's gonna be the first of manythis year, but I guess we'll
see how it goes. He isthe podcast just a bit up. The
contrasts from what I'm used to.I usually have to talk past because it's
people sharing the mic. But thisis just me, so I say whatever
(00:23):
i'd like. It might be serious, sometimes it might be funny. Sometimes
to scratch your head and say,Brian is such a tummy budd. It
just me. I ain't got nohelp. This is Brian Crimes, and
I'm talking to myself. It isBrian Grimes. It is my podcast,
and I am talking to myself.Welcome to twenty twenty four. I had
(00:46):
started a series of How I Gothere podcasts, just kind of a to
let everybody kind of know, likeyou know, where I started, where
I'm at, and kind of howit all happened. And I got through
I think three of them, butthen I was kind of on a little
hiatus. I get a little busy, especially during the holiday time of the
(01:07):
year. Got on a little bitof a hiatus and I was talking to
someone and they were talking about,you know, someone that I know,
and they were talking about where Iwas in that little series and where I
was going to have to go next, and it was going to start to
overlap with current reality. I guessthis is the best way to say it.
So we were talking about it,and I got to think, and
(01:27):
it's probably best that I do notgo down that road at this point,
because it would actually get to thepoint where if I was going to be
one, you know, honest withhow things played out and why things played
out the way they did and whathappened and all that stuff, it eventually
was going to get to where Iwas going to have to say some names
(01:48):
of some people, or at leastsome pretty pretty obvious clues as to who
I was talking about in those stories. And while I still work here,
and while some other people still workwithin the industry, it's probably best that
I don't do that right now.I don't need to create more headaches for
(02:09):
myself. Those just seem to popup. I do that well enough on
my own. I don't need toactually go out and manufacture more headaches.
So sorry that I'm not going tofinish you know everything that happen. But
I'm still here and there's been somecrazy things that happened along the way,
and eventually, I swear eventually,someday, someday I'm telling all of it,
(02:32):
but it won't be today. Soanyway, I'll welcome to twenty twenty
four New Year. I noticed onmy Instagram of the little things that you
know, throw up memories every nowand then, that it was a year
ago that I said my wife andI were going to start our podcast,
and we are. We went anentire year talking about it and it never
(02:53):
happened. But the plan is toget that started. I'm gonna be honest
with you this weekend or when you'relistening to this. So when you're listening
to this, if it's down theroad, it could already have happened.
But the plan is to get itstarted this weekend. And here's the honest
truth. I don't know where tostart with it. I'm my wife and
I hang out all the time likewe're best friends. We do everything together,
(03:13):
we joke all the time, wetalk all the time. But I'm
a radio person. She's not.She does real estate, so I know
how to do radio stuff. Iknow how to host stuff, I know
how to kind of talk. I'mhonestly a little scared to turn it into
something with the two of us,So we'll just have to see how it
goes. I don't want to,like over radio guy it and like,
(03:34):
you know, taking in a directionthat she doesn't want it to go,
or that we didn't plan on agoing, because it's just what I know.
So it's gonna be weird for me. But I plan on getting that
started this weekend, so just keepan eye out for that. So what
I'm planning on doing moving forward withthis podcast is I'm gonna try to find
something every week that kind of jumpsout at me, something that I could
(04:00):
talk to by myself, because Idon't have anybody in here. I mean,
if I had somebody interesting to talkto every now and then I might
throw that in here as well.But I'm going to find something in my
daily readings because I read a lot. I want to read books because I
think books are stupid, but Ido read a lot, and so I'm
going to find something in my dailyreading that I could actually apply to this,
talk to myself about it and seehow it goes. And this is
(04:21):
kind of fitting for twenty twenty four. I was reading some stuff to get
ready for Johnny's house this morning,and it came across this article. It's
nine questions to test your emotional security. And I may or may not have
been told that I'm kind of emotionallynot super stable in the past. I
think I'm in a better place thanI've ever been, but there's been times
(04:43):
where I'm paranoid. I'm a paranoidguy by nature. I do actually have
legit panic attacks sometimes, and it'smaddening and frightening, and so I don't
know that I can always say thatI could say I was emotionally secure.
I think I'm the most emotionally securethat I've ever been. I could say
that now. But they talked toa Harvard trained psychologist and she says,
(05:05):
your ability to truthfully answer yes toany of these nine questions shows that you're
more emotionally secure than most people.So we'll go through the nine questions and
we'll see if I can legitimately sayyes truthfully to these questions, and you
should do the same for yourself.I can't police you, so I don't
know if you're being honest or not, but be honest with yourself. This
(05:25):
might help all of us. Sothe first question on the list, can
you listen to different perspectives that youdisagree with? And I thought about that
when I first saw it, andI didn't put much thought into these,
by the way, but going infact, I haven't even read all the
way down to number nine. Ijust said, oh, I'm want to
hold this so I can get mytrue, honest thoughts out from my podcast.
(05:46):
So can you listen to different perspectivesthat you disagree with? Yes?
Or no? I'm going to sayyes and no on this one. I
am perfectly cape of listening to differentperspectives that I don't agree with. My
problem is I enjoy being able todiscuss those perspectives from my side and your
(06:15):
side, and not to try tosway you or anything like that, but
to find some sort of, youknow, maybe common ground if it's worth
having the discussion. And a lotof times I feel like that doesn't happen.
It gets to where I'm gonna tryto convince you, you're gonna try
to convince me, and at thatpoint it's kind of like a fool's errand
it's not gonna happen. So ifI had to do a yes or no,
a hard yes or no, canyou listen to different perspectives you disagree
(06:36):
with, I would have to sayno, not one hundred percent of the
time. Sometimes yes, But Ithink if you have to say no,
you have to say no. Canyou set healthy boundaries? No? On
this one, I'm not. Ican't set healthy boundaries, And I think
that kind of you can apply thatto whatever you want. I'm just looking
at it from a personal net workperspective. I think my boundary get kind
(07:00):
of trampled on a lot, andI allow it to happen. So I'm
not setting healthy boundaries because if Iwere, I wouldn't be getting out of
bed to log in to fix thingsat work at six am on my day
off, and I wouldn't be sofreaked out when things didn't go right.
That really don't have anything to dowith me, but kind of affect the
big picture. I just I don'thave that, and I do a lot
of people kind of. I mean, I don't think I'm a doormat,
(07:23):
but I do let a lot ofpeople probably overstep in a lot of areas.
So I will say no, Ican't set healthy boundaries. The next
one, can you admit when you'rewrong? Well, let's be honest,
I'm never wrong. And I strugglewith this one because it's not that I
(07:43):
can't admit when I'm wrong. Ireally am very rarely wrong. And I
say that because before I say anythingwith any sort of conviction, I know
that I've done the work, I'vedone the research I've read. Opinions can't
be wrong because it's your opinion,so you can roll opinions out. These
(08:07):
are hard factual rights and wrongs.It's hard for me to say that I
could admit when I'm wrong because I'mvery rarely wrong, and I know that
ruds people the wrong way. Theytake that as me being a jackass,
and I'm not being a jackass.I'm really not wrong all that often,
and it drives people crazy because it'slike, oh, you're always right.
Well, I usually am, butif I am wrong, I can admit
(08:31):
it. So I'm saying yes tothat one. I can admit when I'm
wrong. I'm just not wrong allthat often. Sorry, I needed a
drink. Do you express negative emotionsrespectfully? I'm getting better at it,
so I'll say no. But workingtowards it. On that one, I
do not express negative emotions respectfully allthe time. I'm a knockout punch kind
(08:56):
of person. And that goes likeit's kind of like way back to when
I was a kid. I mean, I was made fun of a lot.
I was always the smallest, wewere kind of poor, and so
I am a knockout punch like Ialways equate it. If you know old
school box and you can get inhere and trade swings with Mike Tyson.
But Mike Tyson's just trying to knockyou out and get out of this fight.
That's me. So when it getsto that, I do not express
(09:18):
my negative emotions respectfully all the time. But I'm getting better and I'm working
towards it. Do you know yourcore values and beliefs? Yes, that
one, I can say one hundredpercent. I do. I know what's
important to me. I know whatI believe one hundred percent. I'm not
trying to push it on anybody else, but I do one hundred percent know
where I stand. So I cansay yes to that one, which is
(09:39):
good. Can you take criticism fromothers? Yes, I can. It's
got to be constructive criticism and it'sgot to be valid. I don't think
that's a bad thing. I cantake criticism. I try to make it
as hard as possible to criticize me. I try to do as little as
(10:00):
I can to be criticized, soit's it doesn't happen a lot. But
I can't take I can take negativecriticism if it's if it's done the right
way. Like if I can,I can. I can do that.
Do you continually strive to change andgrow? I do, but I sometimes
(10:20):
lose my way when it comes tothat, Like it's it's hard to commit
to that when you're trying to just, you know, get through life,
get through the day. Obviously Ihave big plans and big goals, but
like I also have my day today, a little to do list that
I check off every day that takesup a large portion of my time.
So while I do strive to makechange and to grow, there's a lot
(10:43):
of things that are kind of holdingme back. But I mean the fact
that I've said to a lot ofthese I'm working on it, that is
me striving to change and grow.So I would say, yes, I
do continually strive to change and grow. Can you stop yourself from real acting
impulsively. Yes, I am newat this. I for the longest time
(11:07):
could not. I was an impulsiveguy, like you know, I would
hear something negative and Bam, I'mfiring back an email or I'm shooting back
a text, or I'm like,ah, I'm gonna show this person.
And I've gotten way better at that. So I can actually stop myself from
reacting impulsively. And that's part ofthe striving to change and grow. That's
something I used to not be ableto do, but now I can.
(11:28):
So there you go. Let's seethe next one. That last one.
Do you trust that you'll be okayno matter what challenges come your way?
This one I can say one hundredpercent yes to. I am a guy
that worries about literally everything. I'vealways joked I got ninety nine problems and
(11:48):
ninety seven of them are made upin my head. So I always overthink
everything, freak out about everything.I mean, no matter what. You
know, a boss leaves at workbecause they retire, and I'm over here
in my head thinking who's gonna replacethem and how they're gonna try to replace
me. Like I'm constantly worrying abouteverything. I freak out, I overreact.
(12:09):
I told you, I'm paranoid.I have these, you know,
small panic attacks. But at theend of the day, and I've said
this to my wife numerous times,We'll figure it out. That's always what
I've done from youth. It's beena app I'll figure it out. And
even when I didn't think I wouldfigure it out, looking back, I
figured it out. And I thinkat this point in life, I've gotten
(12:33):
to the point where I know,no matter what comes my way, I'm
gonna be I Like, you knowwhat I'm saying. I lost my mom,
who was like my biggest fan,my best friend, and I didn't
think I ever before she got sick. Oh my gosh, you know what
would I do without her? Ithappened, and I'll figure it out.
(12:54):
I'll be okay. My son gothim to eighteen and that that has been
a driving force behind my stress andthings have come up. But I've tried
to instill in him, you knowwhat, man, and not the end
of the world. You'll figure itout, will be okay. So yes,
I can say that no matter what, I can trust that I will
be okay no matter what comes myway. So let's look at the nine
(13:18):
on the first one, Listen todifferent perspectives I disagree with. I went
with a no, but working onit. Healthy boundaries. I went with
a no, but working on it. Admitting when you're wrong. Yes,
I'm just not wrong very often.Do you know your core values and beliefs?
Yes, so I'm two for twoor two and two right now to
yes? Two? No, Let'ssee express negative emotions respectfully. Eh.
(13:43):
I can't even remember which way Iwent with that, but I'm gonna say
yes. I did say yes,So now I'm three to two. Take
criticism of others four to two.Continually, strive to change and grow yep,
five to two. Can stop yourselffrom reacting impulsively, yep, six
to two. And do you trustYeah, I'm seven to two on this
seven yes is two no's. Sothey say, based on those nine questions,
(14:07):
and I'll run them down again realquick. If you can truthfully answer
yes to any of them, you'remore emotionally secure than most people. So
I'm seven yes to no, SoI mean I'm pretty emotionally secure. I
can be honest and say five yearsago that wouldn't be the case, and
ten years ago I probably have answeredno to all of those, every single
(14:28):
one of those. I mean,some of that stuff is what led to
my separation from my wife to beginwith. I was not emotionally secure.
So here's the nine real quick toask yourself. Can you listen to different
perspectives you disagree with? Can youset healthy boundaries? Can you admit when
you're wrong? Do you know yourcore values and beliefs? Can you express
(14:50):
negative emotions respectfully? Can you takecriticism from others? And do you continually
strive to change and grow? Andyou stop yourself from reactive and reacting impulsively?
And do you trust that you'll beokay no matter what challenges come your
way? Ask yourself those nine questions, be honest with yourself. If you
(15:11):
say yes to any of those nine, they say any one of those nine.
If you can say yes, you'reahead of the game. And if
you can't, then maybe you shouldfind a way to work on it.
And those come from a doctor,a Harvard trained psychologist, So somebody way
smarter than me. So there yougo. That's a good way to start
twenty twenty four. It's a selfassessment if you will, and being emotionally
(15:33):
secure is a big deal. That'sthe framework for doing all kinds of other
things and handling all kinds of otherissues in your life. So there you
go. That's good. And Iknow a lot of you're going to disagree
on my you know, always beingright thing, but whatever. You know,
what all that shows is that Ican listen to a different perspective that
(15:54):
I disagree with because I am rightninety nine point nine percent of the time.
Make sure you check me out Johnny'sOuse weekday Warnings six to ten am
XL one oh sixty seven if you'rehere in Orlando, of course on the
radio, but it's always on theiHeart Radio app. I am on Magic
one oh seven seven two to seveneach weekday afternoon. If you love the
(16:14):
eighties and the nineties, you couldcheck that out. And I have adjusted
my national throwback time so I'm onin the afternoons now three pm to seven
pm, six days a week,Monday through Saturday. I get Sunday off
Monday through Saturday. If you loveold school hip hop and R and B,
and you could check it out onthe iHeartRadio app. Just look for
throwbacks. It's purple or it's inmultiple cities, so We're on in New
(16:37):
Orleans. We're on a few citiesover in California, West Palm Beach,
Albuquerque, there's a bunch of citiesthat it's on. But it's also on
the iHeart Radio app anywhere you go, So look for throwbacks and you can
do that. Of course, talkit to myself. Make sure you subscribe.
I never really thought about this,but I heard another podcast talking about
it. Subscribe and like, isa big deal. I didn't think any
(16:59):
of it. It was subscribe andlike that was a big deal. You
know where I heard that the Survivorpodcast. They were talking about that,
and I guess it is a bigdeal. On my goal a list of
goals for twenty twenty four, I'mgoing to once again apply for Survivor.
Though speaking of Survivor, I've doneit in person before. They ain't call
me. I'll up, y'all.So I'm gonna try it again this year
and see what happens. Figure whynot, We'll see what happens. And
(17:22):
this weekend, hopefully we get thefirst episode of We're calling it Relationship Wrecked
because we are the proprietors of theYoho Spice Rum, which is pirate themed
Our relationship is pretty solid now,but it's been wrecked before. We were
separated for a long time. Somy wife and I are going to jump
on the podcast I think this weekendand hopefully get it started or depending on
(17:45):
when you listen to this, it'salready started and you can check it out
also on the iHeartRadio app, Somake sure you grab all of that stuff
anywhere you get your podcasts. iHeartRadioapp is where I suggest that you get.
To make sure you follow me onInstagram, book an X. It's
at the Brian Grimes. Lots ofcool stuff there. I didn't even tell
y'all about my cool ass train table. My wife and I bought a coffee
(18:08):
table with a train inside a workingtrain with a Native American village and a
pioneer village and then some people miningfor gold in this little river that goes
through it. It's a working traincoffee table. I'm telling you on my
Instagram at the Brian Grimes, andI'm sure something we'll talk about in our
podcast at some point, So makesure you check it out and look at
(18:30):
that first week of twenty twenty four, first episode of Talking to Myself
First week of twenty twenty four,So I figured, why not do the
first episode this year of talking tomyself? And I say this every year.
It's gonna be the first of manythis year, but I guess we'll
see how it goes. He isthe podcast just a bit up. The
contrasts from what I'm used to.I usually have to talk past because it's
people sharing the mic. But thisis just me, so I say whatever
(00:23):
i'd like. It might be serious, sometimes it might be funny. Sometimes
to scratch your head and say,Brian is such a tummy budd. It
just me. I ain't got nohelp. This is Brian Crimes, and
I'm talking to myself. It isBrian Grimes. It is my podcast,
and I am talking to myself.Welcome to twenty twenty four. I had
(00:46):
started a series of How I Gothere podcasts, just kind of a to
let everybody kind of know, likeyou know, where I started, where
I'm at, and kind of howit all happened. And I got through
I think three of them, butthen I was kind of on a little
hiatus. I get a little busy, especially during the holiday time of the
(01:07):
year. Got on a little bitof a hiatus and I was talking to
someone and they were talking about,you know, someone that I know,
and they were talking about where Iwas in that little series and where I
was going to have to go next, and it was going to start to
overlap with current reality. I guessthis is the best way to say it.
So we were talking about it,and I got to think, and
(01:27):
it's probably best that I do notgo down that road at this point,
because it would actually get to thepoint where if I was going to be
one, you know, honest withhow things played out and why things played
out the way they did and whathappened and all that stuff, it eventually
was going to get to where Iwas going to have to say some names
(01:48):
of some people, or at leastsome pretty pretty obvious clues as to who
I was talking about in those stories. And while I still work here,
and while some other people still workwithin the industry, it's probably best that
I don't do that right now.I don't need to create more headaches for
(02:09):
myself. Those just seem to popup. I do that well enough on
my own. I don't need toactually go out and manufacture more headaches.
So sorry that I'm not going tofinish you know everything that happen. But
I'm still here and there's been somecrazy things that happened along the way,
and eventually, I swear eventually,someday, someday I'm telling all of it,
(02:32):
but it won't be today. Soanyway, I'll welcome to twenty twenty
four New Year. I noticed onmy Instagram of the little things that you
know, throw up memories every nowand then, that it was a year
ago that I said my wife andI were going to start our podcast,
and we are. We went anentire year talking about it and it never
(02:53):
happened. But the plan is toget that started. I'm gonna be honest
with you this weekend or when you'relistening to this. So when you're listening
to this, if it's down theroad, it could already have happened.
But the plan is to get itstarted this weekend. And here's the honest
truth. I don't know where tostart with it. I'm my wife and
I hang out all the time likewe're best friends. We do everything together,
(03:13):
we joke all the time, wetalk all the time. But I'm
a radio person. She's not.She does real estate, so I know
how to do radio stuff. Iknow how to host stuff, I know
how to kind of talk. I'mhonestly a little scared to turn it into
something with the two of us,So we'll just have to see how it
goes. I don't want to,like over radio guy it and like,
(03:34):
you know, taking in a directionthat she doesn't want it to go,
or that we didn't plan on agoing, because it's just what I know.
So it's gonna be weird for me. But I plan on getting that
started this weekend, so just keepan eye out for that. So what
I'm planning on doing moving forward withthis podcast is I'm gonna try to find
something every week that kind of jumpsout at me, something that I could
(04:00):
talk to by myself, because Idon't have anybody in here. I mean,
if I had somebody interesting to talkto every now and then I might
throw that in here as well.But I'm going to find something in my
daily readings because I read a lot. I want to read books because I
think books are stupid, but Ido read a lot, and so I'm
going to find something in my dailyreading that I could actually apply to this,
talk to myself about it and seehow it goes. And this is
(04:21):
kind of fitting for twenty twenty four. I was reading some stuff to get
ready for Johnny's house this morning,and it came across this article. It's
nine questions to test your emotional security. And I may or may not have
been told that I'm kind of emotionallynot super stable in the past. I
think I'm in a better place thanI've ever been, but there's been times
(04:43):
where I'm paranoid. I'm a paranoidguy by nature. I do actually have
legit panic attacks sometimes, and it'smaddening and frightening, and so I don't
know that I can always say thatI could say I was emotionally secure.
I think I'm the most emotionally securethat I've ever been. I could say
that now. But they talked toa Harvard trained psychologist and she says,
(05:05):
your ability to truthfully answer yes toany of these nine questions shows that you're
more emotionally secure than most people.So we'll go through the nine questions and
we'll see if I can legitimately sayyes truthfully to these questions, and you
should do the same for yourself.I can't police you, so I don't
know if you're being honest or not, but be honest with yourself. This
(05:25):
might help all of us. Sothe first question on the list, can
you listen to different perspectives that youdisagree with? And I thought about that
when I first saw it, andI didn't put much thought into these,
by the way, but going infact, I haven't even read all the
way down to number nine. Ijust said, oh, I'm want to
hold this so I can get mytrue, honest thoughts out from my podcast.
(05:46):
So can you listen to different perspectivesthat you disagree with? Yes?
Or no? I'm going to sayyes and no on this one. I
am perfectly cape of listening to differentperspectives that I don't agree with. My
problem is I enjoy being able todiscuss those perspectives from my side and your
(06:15):
side, and not to try tosway you or anything like that, but
to find some sort of, youknow, maybe common ground if it's worth
having the discussion. And a lotof times I feel like that doesn't happen.
It gets to where I'm gonna tryto convince you, you're gonna try
to convince me, and at thatpoint it's kind of like a fool's errand
it's not gonna happen. So ifI had to do a yes or no,
a hard yes or no, canyou listen to different perspectives you disagree
(06:36):
with, I would have to sayno, not one hundred percent of the
time. Sometimes yes, But Ithink if you have to say no,
you have to say no. Canyou set healthy boundaries? No? On
this one, I'm not. Ican't set healthy boundaries, And I think
that kind of you can apply thatto whatever you want. I'm just looking
at it from a personal net workperspective. I think my boundary get kind
(07:00):
of trampled on a lot, andI allow it to happen. So I'm
not setting healthy boundaries because if Iwere, I wouldn't be getting out of
bed to log in to fix thingsat work at six am on my day
off, and I wouldn't be sofreaked out when things didn't go right.
That really don't have anything to dowith me, but kind of affect the
big picture. I just I don'thave that, and I do a lot
of people kind of. I mean, I don't think I'm a doormat,
(07:23):
but I do let a lot ofpeople probably overstep in a lot of areas.
So I will say no, Ican't set healthy boundaries. The next
one, can you admit when you'rewrong? Well, let's be honest,
I'm never wrong. And I strugglewith this one because it's not that I
(07:43):
can't admit when I'm wrong. Ireally am very rarely wrong. And I
say that because before I say anythingwith any sort of conviction, I know
that I've done the work, I'vedone the research I've read. Opinions can't
be wrong because it's your opinion,so you can roll opinions out. These
(08:07):
are hard factual rights and wrongs.It's hard for me to say that I
could admit when I'm wrong because I'mvery rarely wrong, and I know that
ruds people the wrong way. Theytake that as me being a jackass,
and I'm not being a jackass.I'm really not wrong all that often,
and it drives people crazy because it'slike, oh, you're always right.
Well, I usually am, butif I am wrong, I can admit
(08:31):
it. So I'm saying yes tothat one. I can admit when I'm
wrong. I'm just not wrong allthat often. Sorry, I needed a
drink. Do you express negative emotionsrespectfully? I'm getting better at it,
so I'll say no. But workingtowards it. On that one, I
do not express negative emotions respectfully allthe time. I'm a knockout punch kind
(08:56):
of person. And that goes likeit's kind of like way back to when
I was a kid. I mean, I was made fun of a lot.
I was always the smallest, wewere kind of poor, and so
I am a knockout punch like Ialways equate it. If you know old
school box and you can get inhere and trade swings with Mike Tyson.
But Mike Tyson's just trying to knockyou out and get out of this fight.
That's me. So when it getsto that, I do not express
(09:18):
my negative emotions respectfully all the time. But I'm getting better and I'm working
towards it. Do you know yourcore values and beliefs? Yes, that
one, I can say one hundredpercent. I do. I know what's
important to me. I know whatI believe one hundred percent. I'm not
trying to push it on anybody else, but I do one hundred percent know
where I stand. So I cansay yes to that one, which is
(09:39):
good. Can you take criticism fromothers? Yes, I can. It's
got to be constructive criticism and it'sgot to be valid. I don't think
that's a bad thing. I cantake criticism. I try to make it
as hard as possible to criticize me. I try to do as little as
(10:00):
I can to be criticized, soit's it doesn't happen a lot. But
I can't take I can take negativecriticism if it's if it's done the right
way. Like if I can,I can. I can do that.
Do you continually strive to change andgrow? I do, but I sometimes
(10:20):
lose my way when it comes tothat, Like it's it's hard to commit
to that when you're trying to just, you know, get through life,
get through the day. Obviously Ihave big plans and big goals, but
like I also have my day today, a little to do list that
I check off every day that takesup a large portion of my time.
So while I do strive to makechange and to grow, there's a lot
(10:43):
of things that are kind of holdingme back. But I mean the fact
that I've said to a lot ofthese I'm working on it, that is
me striving to change and grow.So I would say, yes, I
do continually strive to change and grow. Can you stop yourself from real acting
impulsively. Yes, I am newat this. I for the longest time
(11:07):
could not. I was an impulsiveguy, like you know, I would
hear something negative and Bam, I'mfiring back an email or I'm shooting back
a text, or I'm like,ah, I'm gonna show this person.
And I've gotten way better at that. So I can actually stop myself from
reacting impulsively. And that's part ofthe striving to change and grow. That's
something I used to not be ableto do, but now I can.
(11:28):
So there you go. Let's seethe next one. That last one.
Do you trust that you'll be okayno matter what challenges come your way?
This one I can say one hundredpercent yes to. I am a guy
that worries about literally everything. I'vealways joked I got ninety nine problems and
(11:48):
ninety seven of them are made upin my head. So I always overthink
everything, freak out about everything.I mean, no matter what. You
know, a boss leaves at workbecause they retire, and I'm over here
in my head thinking who's gonna replacethem and how they're gonna try to replace
me. Like I'm constantly worrying abouteverything. I freak out, I overreact.
(12:09):
I told you, I'm paranoid.I have these, you know,
small panic attacks. But at theend of the day, and I've said
this to my wife numerous times,We'll figure it out. That's always what
I've done from youth. It's beena app I'll figure it out. And
even when I didn't think I wouldfigure it out, looking back, I
figured it out. And I thinkat this point in life, I've gotten
(12:33):
to the point where I know,no matter what comes my way, I'm
gonna be I Like, you knowwhat I'm saying. I lost my mom,
who was like my biggest fan,my best friend, and I didn't
think I ever before she got sick. Oh my gosh, you know what
would I do without her? Ithappened, and I'll figure it out.
(12:54):
I'll be okay. My son gothim to eighteen and that that has been
a driving force behind my stress andthings have come up. But I've tried
to instill in him, you knowwhat, man, and not the end
of the world. You'll figure itout, will be okay. So yes,
I can say that no matter what, I can trust that I will
be okay no matter what comes myway. So let's look at the nine
(13:18):
on the first one, Listen todifferent perspectives I disagree with. I went
with a no, but working onit. Healthy boundaries. I went with
a no, but working on it. Admitting when you're wrong. Yes,
I'm just not wrong very often.Do you know your core values and beliefs?
Yes, so I'm two for twoor two and two right now to
yes? Two? No, Let'ssee express negative emotions respectfully. Eh.
(13:43):
I can't even remember which way Iwent with that, but I'm gonna say
yes. I did say yes,So now I'm three to two. Take
criticism of others four to two.Continually, strive to change and grow yep,
five to two. Can stop yourselffrom reacting impulsively, yep, six
to two. And do you trustYeah, I'm seven to two on this
seven yes is two no's. Sothey say, based on those nine questions,
(14:07):
and I'll run them down again realquick. If you can truthfully answer
yes to any of them, you'remore emotionally secure than most people. So
I'm seven yes to no, SoI mean I'm pretty emotionally secure. I
can be honest and say five yearsago that wouldn't be the case, and
ten years ago I probably have answeredno to all of those, every single
(14:28):
one of those. I mean,some of that stuff is what led to
my separation from my wife to beginwith. I was not emotionally secure.
So here's the nine real quick toask yourself. Can you listen to different
perspectives you disagree with? Can youset healthy boundaries? Can you admit when
you're wrong? Do you know yourcore values and beliefs? Can you express
(14:50):
negative emotions respectfully? Can you takecriticism from others? And do you continually
strive to change and grow? Andyou stop yourself from reactive and reacting impulsively?
And do you trust that you'll beokay no matter what challenges come your
way? Ask yourself those nine questions, be honest with yourself. If you
(15:11):
say yes to any of those nine, they say any one of those nine.
If you can say yes, you'reahead of the game. And if
you can't, then maybe you shouldfind a way to work on it.
And those come from a doctor,a Harvard trained psychologist, So somebody way
smarter than me. So there yougo. That's a good way to start
twenty twenty four. It's a selfassessment if you will, and being emotionally
(15:33):
secure is a big deal. That'sthe framework for doing all kinds of other
things and handling all kinds of otherissues in your life. So there you
go. That's good. And Iknow a lot of you're going to disagree
on my you know, always beingright thing, but whatever. You know,
what all that shows is that Ican listen to a different perspective that
(15:54):
I disagree with because I am rightninety nine point nine percent of the time.
Make sure you check me out Johnny'sOuse weekday Warnings six to ten am
XL one oh sixty seven if you'rehere in Orlando, of course on the
radio, but it's always on theiHeart Radio app. I am on Magic
one oh seven seven two to seveneach weekday afternoon. If you love the
(16:14):
eighties and the nineties, you couldcheck that out. And I have adjusted
my national throwback time so I'm onin the afternoons now three pm to seven
pm, six days a week,Monday through Saturday. I get Sunday off
Monday through Saturday. If you loveold school hip hop and R and B,
and you could check it out onthe iHeartRadio app. Just look for
throwbacks. It's purple or it's inmultiple cities, so We're on in New
(16:37):
Orleans. We're on a few citiesover in California, West Palm Beach,
Albuquerque, there's a bunch of citiesthat it's on. But it's also on
the iHeart Radio app anywhere you go, So look for throwbacks and you can
do that. Of course, talkit to myself. Make sure you subscribe.
I never really thought about this,but I heard another podcast talking about
it. Subscribe and like, isa big deal. I didn't think any
(16:59):
of it. It was subscribe andlike that was a big deal. You
know where I heard that the Survivorpodcast. They were talking about that,
and I guess it is a bigdeal. On my goal a list of
goals for twenty twenty four, I'mgoing to once again apply for Survivor.
Though speaking of Survivor, I've doneit in person before. They ain't call
me. I'll up, y'all.So I'm gonna try it again this year
and see what happens. Figure whynot, We'll see what happens. And
(17:22):
this weekend, hopefully we get thefirst episode of We're calling it Relationship Wrecked
because we are the proprietors of theYoho Spice Rum, which is pirate themed
Our relationship is pretty solid now,but it's been wrecked before. We were
separated for a long time. Somy wife and I are going to jump
on the podcast I think this weekendand hopefully get it started or depending on
(17:45):
when you listen to this, it'salready started and you can check it out
also on the iHeartRadio app, Somake sure you grab all of that stuff
anywhere you get your podcasts. iHeartRadioapp is where I suggest that you get.
To make sure you follow me onInstagram, book an X. It's
at the Brian Grimes. Lots ofcool stuff there. I didn't even tell
y'all about my cool ass train table. My wife and I bought a coffee
(18:08):
table with a train inside a workingtrain with a Native American village and a
pioneer village and then some people miningfor gold in this little river that goes
through it. It's a working traincoffee table. I'm telling you on my
Instagram at the Brian Grimes, andI'm sure something we'll talk about in our
podcast at some point, So makesure you check it out and look at
(18:30):
that first week of twenty twenty four, first episode of Talking to Myself
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