Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KVPI and your show time for
stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stall that. Yeah, all stop, Yeah you are stupid stories
brought you.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
By Colorado Lottery.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
And there is a two million dollar powerball ticket that
was sold last Wednesday up north, I think in Thornton somewhere.
So if you bought a lottery ticket and you know
you looked and you're like, oh, no grand prize winner,
Well somebody out there got two million.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Remember your favorite radio host.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Right, if it wasn't for us telling you about it,
you'd have nothing.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Oh I didn't mean us. I meant like Rick and Kathy.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
A couple of things.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
There's a thief in Florida who swallowed almost eight hundred
thousand dollars were of diamonds and poot them out.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Oh wow yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
In other words, crappy day for some sheriff.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Are they just holding him until he until he went yep?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
I feel like that's it would be a rough go
ugh eight hundred thousand, well technically seven hundred and seventy
five thousand dollars worth of diamonds.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
He just ate them.
Speaker 4 (01:09):
Oh, let's see the world's otis cat just turned thirty.
Who do you want to do that.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Uh, the secret to its long life Just hate man,
pure unadulterated feline hate.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Gotcha portrait as possible? Yes, just hate.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Speedy Cat's Taylor Swift loves the new Selena Gomez Benny
Blanco album. She gives it nine cats out of ten.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
All right, let's get some stories. A dairy queen, dairy
queen yesterday.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Uh, dairy queen is selling blizzards for eighty five cents
through April sixth. Oh and the guy who invented the
crow nut has a new take on the ice cream
cone is called a DiPT whisk. Can you imagine a
dypt donut for a ice cream cone?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
That does sound good, sounds awesome.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Let's see a seventy six year old woman in Palm Beach,
Florida hit a cyclist the other day. Apparently she hit
a cyclist, didn't care that she hit the cyclist because
she had well places to go.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
She continued on to her golf lesson.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Oh, time they came and got her at her golf lesson.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Did you have an encounter on the way to work today?
Speaker 4 (02:32):
She's like, yes, but I wasn't gonna be late for
my golf lesson.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
We couldn't help to notice the person shaped dent in
the front of your car out the.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Parking realized there's a mid thirty year old husband shoved
through the grill of your car out front. A woman
in Canada was saving a parking spot when somebody else
showed up and wanted it.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Oh, that's always a rough situation.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
M m.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
You couldn't save it. Yes, I can't. I'm standing here.
You can't sit David, What do you do? What do
you do? Pop quiz, hot jet? What do you do?
In this case, this dude just ran her over.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Now, unfortunately for him, he's now facing assault charges. Oh yeah, look,
you can't run anybody over. They frowned on that in
the law. It's crazy.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
A sixth grade teacher in Phoenix got arresting for exposing
himself in class while peeing into a can. Oh man,
come on, what do you do? Apparently National Weather Service, Well,
he just got a picture of Bigfoot. A photo they
posted a storm damage in Pennsylvania shows a dark figure
(03:45):
in the woods and they think it's Bigfoot. So twenty
three and meter five for bankruptcy. They claim, your day
is gonna be fine.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yes, sure it is, sure it is.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Boy, you gotta feel like a dumb dumb if you
ever did that.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Sold it man, So to everybody, all right, Google listening
to the top spring break searches. Six states are trying
not to travel. Shout out to our boys up north
in Wyoming. They're like, man, I'm gonna stay right here
in Wyoming for spring break. So Texas, Iowa, Missouri, South Carolina,
Vermont all been searching spring break things at home.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So there you go.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Oh okay, all right, are gym rats wasting their money?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
A study? Listen to this for everybody.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
That's ever taken this as a settlement, Now you gotta
feel like an idiot because the new big study found
that creating doesn't actually help build muscle at all.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh oh oh.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
I feel like that's gonna put a lot of a
lot of those you know, nutrition drinks and supplements and
all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
That's in all that like pre workouts stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Right everything.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yeah, we're gonna take some creed.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I can't. I don't like it.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Man makes me take crap more often than I do already. Yeah,
oh dig it all all right? So how shady is
this thing Fireball is doing? Fireball has this newer promotion,
we will give you whiskey for life.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Sounds like a deal.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
It's like what it looks fireball whiskey. Anyway, there's just
one kind of fact that you should probably be aware
of before you sign up.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
It's a catch yet small.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
It's just a small hitching the gideo scoop.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Okay, to win, you need to be.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
At least not drinking it. You'd think of drinking age,
you know, Yeah, yeah, no, no, slightly. Order to win,
you have to be at least ninety years old. Oh okay,
uh yeah, yeah, we're.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Only really willing to commit about ten to maybe fifteen years, right.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Right, Worth of Wain.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Well, we mean when we say lifetime is not really
at all lifetime. I don't know a lot of ninety
year olds that are pounding it. But apparently fireball is
very popular amongst the older people. Really, senior citizens love fireball.
That was this dude's quote.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Do they?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I mean, my Grandma's not there anymore, but I do
feel like maybe I should just go drop off a
at bare minimum, a couple of bottles that the old
folks on my Grandma's out.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, I feel like you should.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Should I do one big bottle or a bunch of
the little shoot.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
I feel like a bunch of little shooters. Ok, you
know that way everybody gets there. They're divvy up. You know,
you can drink it at their leisure.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
A little more fair, pound it or just you know,
sip it. Whatever.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You don't see him passing the handle.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Well, I mean, you know it is fireball. I feel
like that's almost a prerequisite to drink it. Oh you
gotta grab the handle and hold it up.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Uh. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Anyone bought it in nineteen thirty five or earlier can
sign up a lifetime apply a Fireball dot com.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
But it's not really.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Or they're too old to use a computer because they
are ninety plus years old.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Right, you could nominate them. Deadline is March thirty first.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Oh, you can nominate people.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, who do I know that's over ninety.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
If you guys know anybody over ninety, let's nominate them.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
It's funny. Here's the catch.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
According to the rules, you won't actually win endless bottles
of Fireball.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
What do you win? Then?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
A check for twenty four hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Oh do you remember maybe ten years ago there was
a trend of people doing like the wedding videos, and
they would put a GoPro on the handle of fireball
and then you'd get a great video of all the
people doing like just doing a swig. Right, I want
to do the old folks version of it. Pass that
(08:02):
around at old Folks home and get a bunch of
people with no teeth and their dentures out right.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I say a third guy did just fly out. Watch
they're attached to the bottle, but he pulls it out.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
All right.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
United Airlines flight from la to Shanghai had.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
To turn around over the Pacific on Saturday because the
pilot forgot his passport.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Oh, I mean, I hope not.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I mean it was said to be a fourteen hour
flight already, so I'm sure when they turned around about
an hour and forty five minutes into the flight, they
didn't mind that at all.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Not one.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
I mean no, Look, it's it's gonna be a fourteen
hour flight anyway. But look we gotta go back an
hour and forty five fly back to where we took
off at land. New pilot's gonna come on and then
we'll do this again. I'm sure they didn't mind at all.
They obviously didn't. United reporter gave his passenger a fifteen
(08:54):
dollars meal voucher for their troubles.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Oh fifteen dollars. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
They waited five hours before they could finally take off again.
Ooh yeah, they landed in Shanghai just over six hours
behind schedule. Out all right, this guy in Cara Springs
(09:19):
named Antonio Taylor walks into this place, pointed a finger
gun at the cashier and started taking stuff. Now, I'm
assuming the finger gun was in his pocket because if
you had it out in the open, I'll say, fire
that cashier, right, just fire that cashier today.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Look you're fulling for the finger gun out in the open.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
He's really just pointing at you.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
But it was loaded, sir. He had his thumb cock back. Yeah, uh,
you're fired.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Anyway.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
He spit off atn SUV A pink GMC yukon pink. Yeah,
please cut out with him.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Hard to find, he.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Would and pull over, but they box them in at
the gas station. Turns out he had his teenage daughter
with him in a passenger seat when he robbed the
Store's crazy. They charged him with multiple crimes, including robbery.
But look, it wasn't it wasn't armed. Robbery at least
there's that.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
But you have to have some confidence walking in with
no gun and just putting it in your hoodie pocket.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
And man, I feel like that cashier is to blame
on this one.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
It's the cashier's fault.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm like, you can't tell. Is there not a gun
in there?
Speaker 4 (10:39):
No? No? No. Lastly, a guy in China showed up
at the er after getting his girlfriends entire fist stuck
in his mouth. They apparently were they're filming the video
for social media.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Of course they were.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
There's a ten second clip of them walking in together.
He's gagging and drooling. Also, you know, try not to laugh.
I guess it doesn't seem like her tiny hand would
get stuck that easy. But the doctor who treated and
reported said the guy's muscles had seized up, but his
jaw locked. Oh, they can expand his job anymore because
his muscles locked up. They gave him a muscle relaxant
(11:21):
and used a mouth opener. Mouth opener, yeah, and then
twisted his girlfriend's wrist to get her hand out. It
took like twenty five thirty minutes to get out done.
Couple said they were trying to film a funny video
to go viral, and just wanted to see if her
whole hand would fit into his mouth.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Turns out it did.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
That is ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I wonder how long they dealt with it before they
were like, we got hard, we gotta go to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I just imagine the conversation, what do you want to do?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Write it down over here?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Alright, O hard out. He's just groogling, like drooling, like just.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
All over it, swallowing all right.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I just pulled out, just yake it out. I can't
what a dumb position to get frozen, stuck in whatever