Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KBPI and your show time for
stupid stories start?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, sol start. Yes, you are Stupid Stories brought to you.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
By sleep Token. Those tickets go on sale to the
general public today in two hours, forty minutes and thirty
three seconds.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, good luck with that.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We'll have another pair to give away before before.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
We get out of here though, right, what a huge show.
All right, let's get to some stupid stories. See if
you can remember this, it was an online Wow, it
was a Yahoo News poll. And who do you think
got named the nation's favorite ambassador to welcome aliens to Earth?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Uh? Do we know what year this came out? Two
thousand and four?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Okay, so in two thousand and four, who would we
have sent to talk to aliens? Uh? Who's president at
the time? Bush, I'll say they you were setting the
president to go chat.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
In two thousand and four, an online Yahoo News poll
named Ozzy Osbourne the nation's favorite ambassador to welcome aliens
to Earth.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Ozzie, Yeah he was you in two thousands.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Oh yeah, Ozzy, he could probably speak their language.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Is that about the time that the Osbourne's was peaking?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I'm sure probably just thought that was funny. Seeing that
here's some bacon news for you. Would you believe that, well,
bacon may be the cure for cancer?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Really? What tell me more?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Yeah, could the cheer for cancer be tricking our body
into thinking it's bacon. Researchers in China figured out how
to make our immune system think cancer cells are pig cells,
so it attack the tumor and knocks it out.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Oh okay, so calls crazy, but hey, it sounds good
to me, right.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
If the cure for cancer is eating more bacon, some
America can handle this.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Kendrick Lamark could be performing at the Olympics. I just
hope they give that dude a gold medal for owning Drake.
This is evil, man, Like some of these stories, Well
there's another one that's pure evil in the pile, But
this one, Yeah, this one's scammers and Washington State are
preying on owners who pets have gone missing. So what
(02:37):
they do is they call numbers on flyers of lost
pets that they see, and they get these numbers. They
pretend they're coming from a shelter and saying that they
need money right away because their dog or their cat
or they're at or whatever has been involved in an accident.
It just got picked up and they got to perform
like emergency surgery on it.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Oh okay, so yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
They get they get his money sent over digitally and
then boom.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It's all scam. No pet, still no pet. That is
dirty man. Uh those little mother truckers.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
A man in Florida got arrested the weapons charges, including
a modified AR fifteen, pipe bombs, chemical materials.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
His name Vincent Vega. Oh what do you know Vincent
Vega from pulp fiction. Yeah right.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Somebody in a Mickey Mouse costume is woned by police
in Italy out there apparently threatening tourists, several tourists with
a knife.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Damn Mickey, calm down.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It's like the Hollywood Walk of Fame with all the
dressed up people there.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Mm hmm. Oh you want a picture?
Speaker 1 (03:45):
That'll be twenty bucks after the tab after you've taken
the picture.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Uh yeah, right, that's how he gets you too.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yeah, I'll take a picture with you US ten dollars.
Seventy six percent of homeowners say they feel pressure to
maintain curb appeal of their home to keep up with
their neighbors, and some of them say it shouldn't be
as competitive as it is. But the problem isn't the
seventy six percent of homeowners, it's the other twenty four percent.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
They're trying to keep up with the Cheesecake Factory menu.
What do you know about it?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
It's pretty long.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, it's big, right.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
We'll get this. They're cutting thirteen menu items. Uh oh
wait wait, because the menu is getting bigger. Yeah, they're
cutting thirteen menu items, but they're adding twenty more. That's
just what you needed, a bigger menu at Teescake Factory.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I mean like reading a book. Now you're like, damn.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Right, they're adding two more pages to that thing.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
All right.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
A perfectly round they call it a one and a
billion egg one in a billion because it's perfectly round. Oh,
it's sold at an auction for this one one egg
for five hundred dollars.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Wow, and it's perfectly spherical. Yeah, okay, it's perfectly round.
I feel like some people may consider that a bargain.
All right, here's the local story.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
It's wow.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Look, if you know anything about C four, could you
call us? We need an expert of C four. All right, So,
if you know anything about C four, give us a call.
Here's the story Fort Carson Colorado soldier has been arrested
after he took a block of military explosive home. Now,
according to the arrest affidave uh what was that? Federal
(05:39):
Bureau of Investigation contact the Caller Springs Police Department Regional
Explosives unitan advised him that the forty one year old
soldier named Joshua King had a block of SEA four
military explosive at his home in the Broad Moore Bluff's neighborhood.
(06:02):
I'm sure that's enough to wipe out that neighborhood, or
at least a few homes.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Right, I'm not sure how big a quote block is,
but C four has one point four times the yield
of TNT. A single charge of twenty five kilograms of
C four is well more than enough.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
To destroy a typical wood frame house. Damn.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So yeah, I'm sure it would probably clear out half
a neighborhood if it's If it's more than that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I guess who ratted this soldier out too? Oh? Who's
the narc His wife?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Oh, dude, sketch right, his wife.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
I totally see that, though, I don't want that in
the house. Get that out of the house.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
But here's the deal, she's lived with him for a while.
They just started going through this divorce. He's had the
C four there for a couple of years. So she
just ratted him out because of going through a divorce.
That is so evil.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Man, Oh no, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
She wanted half the C four and he wouldn't give
it to her.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
So she wanted half the house and he was gonna
get He was gonna give it to her pieces.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Uh, listen to this.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
So FBI, the United States Army Cruial Investigation Division known
as CID, they met at the home, recovered the explosives.
The C four block was located on the top of
a dresser, just in a corner of a drawer. Oh
and it still had the original like wrapping on it.
So that I observed the C four block after it
was collected and noted that based on my training experience,
(07:35):
it appeared to be military C four plastic explosives, Daka said.
It was also noted that the block was in case
in what appeared to be the original wrapping bearing the
lot number one OP fifteen E zero zero dashed to
zero three four. The spouse told law enforcement that he
had brought the block home and was hiding it around
(07:56):
the house for her dog to find what.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
She had formed law enforcement that her.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Father, who was a retired special agent for the Department of
Homeland Security, was an explosive detection canine handler and after
retirement two years ago, had given this dog to her. Okay,
so there's that's interesting. Yeah, friendly the dog could locate it.
(08:23):
This C four had been issued to Fort Carson between
January and February of twenty nineteen. Let's see, King is
a member of the five hundred and eighty eighth Brigade
Engineer Battalion. King also did not have explosives permits and
was not legally authorized to have access to or store
(08:44):
explosive materials.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
So I imagine that dude's gonna be doing a little
bit of time. But on the bright side, a damn
block of C four would be cool to have.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Me Well, if you ever do get your hands on some.
C four is very stable and insensitive to most physical shocks.
C four cannot be detonated by a gunshot or by
dropping it onto a hard surface. It also does not
explode when set on fire or exposed to microwaves.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Basically you have to have a shock wave like when
a detonator.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Is inserted into it. All right, So.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
If you just you know, like with the Tanner, right,
you can just.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Shoot that right, yeah up, yeah, not the case with
C four. Yeah, it looks like it's easy to handle.
She's Plato. She's like Plato.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But you see all the movies, right, they got that
brick of CE FOURD. Just tack it on something, put
a little boot, little metal deal. Looks like I don't know,
temperature thing for your radiator.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Just it just boom big for breaching doors at least
in the movies.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I mean, get a.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Little block on there and just yeah it takes I
mean big doors.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Uh. But yeah, if you know something about C four,
callus what is a block? Like?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
How strong? That's what I'm curious of. How strong is
a block of C four?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
All right?
Speaker 3 (10:07):
This had a Spokane, Washington Federal court in Spokane found
a man from India guilty possession with a distribute over
one hundred and seventy.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Pounds of MDMA.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Thirty one year old Jaskaran Singh traffic the MDMA, otherwise
known as molly or ecstasy, across the US Canada border
on April twenty ninth, twenty twenty four Yeah. Borbachille agents
arrested Singing who is driving a minivan coast to Canadian
border with backpacks in a suitcase full of drugs inside.
(10:45):
The DJ approximates the MDMA seized has a street value
of nearly eight million dollars.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Wow, Wow, damn. I feel like he might have had
all of it.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, I mean no doubt. My friends haven't been able
to get something for a while, all right. So this
man was almost electrocuted to death. This is this crazy story.
This happened in northeast Philadelphia. Man was knocked unconscious that
he knocked out power to more than fifteen hundred homes
and businesses in Philadelphia trying to steal copper wiring.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Please said.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
The man, believed to be in his thirties or forties,
broke into a transformer box about ten thirty pm on
Wednesday by cutting the lock and according to police, the
high voltage wiring the man allegedly cut was still active,
causing of fire around the transformer box. Please say, he
knocked out power to more than fifteen hundred homes a
bunch of businesses for more than thirty minutes. He suffering
(11:45):
from serious third degree burns to his face and entire
upper body because it was still live when he cut
it right. It appears this individual may have been steal
in the copper wiring. Although the victim isn't critical condition
with burns with his face, neck, shoulders, chest, arms, and hands,
(12:08):
He's lucky to be alive. It's the second time this
week police said somebody was electro treated while trying to steal.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Copper wire.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Right out of the box.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Huh yeah, man, cost copper is more than doubled over
the past five years, you dumb dumbs man.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I don't care how much that copper is going for.
You can't be getting enough.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Now for thirtygree burns over your hands, arms, face, chest like, aw,
you busted so crazy? Perverb teacher here, So a teacher
in Indiana is facing serious, well just child abuse charges
she allegedly had when this says she had very specific
sexual scenario that she has the children to act out.
(12:56):
She's not joking, man, like this story. Wait to hear
this in a minute. You know, the the Scream movie.
She wanted these well friends to wear the scream mask
while they three of them while they you know, her
name was Brittany fort and Berry she's thirty one. She
(13:19):
was a teacher at Imminence High School, and she is
facing the sluid charges including child molestation, sexual miscontact with
minor discrimination no matter harmful to minors, and more for
apparently sexually abusing multiple children. And she met two She
met him a two different schools last year. The court
document goes into detail of the activity. Apparently, listen to
(13:42):
this a thirteen year old they have a thirteen year old?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Told police officer that she picked him up and two
of his friends. His friends were fourteen years old, and
she bought them hundreds of dollars worth of clothes Before
taking him back to her house.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
She called the kids parents to see if they spend
the night. Oh that's a red flag right there, right now.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Apparently, several individuals say that Brittany befriend of the parents
and has a son their age, so there were more
ties between them than the average teacher student relationship. But man,
if a teacher calls you up, so can your fourteen
year old spend the night, your.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Answer would be a hell no.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
I mean anyway, she apparently, after she got permission for
the kids to spend the night, she dosed them with
magic mushrooms.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Oh okay, and then yeah, she asked the kids that they.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Wanted to, you know, uh, participate with her in a
little thing. Anyway, she said, the only way that she
would allow it to happen is that the three kids
were scream mask during the sex.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Scream masks. Scream mask like you know from the movie
screen right, what's your favorite scary movie? Yep?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
The alleged this said to have gone on for more
than two hours. Wow, damn, we're.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Noting several Yeah, of these individuals, Like I said, she
befriend of the parents, and I guess having a son, well,
you know, you.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Can see the sleepover. Think of your son's their age
a sleepover. What was the sun doing during all this?
I don't think the sun was there.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
I think she alluded to the fact that he was there,
but the sun was apparently with the with the dad.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Oh okay, wow, what you were in a world of
trouble man.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
We saw the picture of this girl. She doesn't need
to resort to that.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I mean, you just gotta be twisted as hell, right,
thirteen to fourteen year olds, well a thirteen and two
fourteen year olds, and that's your fantasy, but only if
they wear screen masks like, damn, you have some problems,
you need a hug, and you gonna get a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Of in prison, all right?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
To find a police in Fort Myers, ORTA alerted that
a spring break beach brawl h got a little, well
got a little gnarly cops hat video shows his eighteen
year old cat named Jack Turner just pummeling some other
dude and at one point, Jack pulls his other dude's
head up towards his face and he.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Bites off his ear. Oh like what?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
He just bites his ear off? The victim's friend says
Jack started to fight by calling a victim some sort
of racial slur and then jumping him from behind. It
doesn't say the story, how the victim is doing, or
the status of his ear. We also don't know, you know,
what exactly provoked the attack, But Jack did get arrested
(16:46):
on a scene fell any battery charge. He was freed
after a fifty thousand dollars bond. He doesn't have a job,
so mommy and Daddy covered that.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
One and we'll see what happens.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
But ooh, manyouch you're gonna be paying for that one. Bro,
it's one thing to get in a fight. It's another
thing to bite that dude's ear off, like damn.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Uh. Anyway, they have it stupid stories