May 7, 2025 • 35 mins
It's our Mothers Day specail with a Mother of a giveaway!! Courtneys Bat nightmare! Miles eyelash infestation! Is Katy Perry really Jon Benet Ramsey? Truth or Drink that will have you wetting your pants!!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And now from a garage somewhere in Connecticut. It's the
cougar Den Podcast with Courtney and Miles Juices.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey, it is Courtney a mile.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Howdy howdy.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We are back and we are in the original cougar Den.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
This is wild. I'm having like weird flashbacks, like the
first time we like sat down and like met and
I got trashed here. If you did never seen episode one,
go back and listen and watch, because it tried truthfully
by what I was blacked out?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Can I tell you anybody who comes into my cougar
Den and the garage is blacked out at some point,
that's just it's you have.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
To be no. I was so nervous, and then like
on top of it, like the drinks were flowing, and
I think we filmed like what like two episodes? We
did we do because we didn't know what we're doing?
And then welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It was a little too cold this winter. Nobody wanted
to be in my original Cougardan. But now that it's
warmed up, we don't have a specialty cougar cocktail because
this is our Mother's Day special and you are drinking.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
My reasling wine. I come from a long line of
wine drunks.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Okay, and you're doing that because your mom loves wine
wine for in honor of Mother's Day, and my mother
likes vodka, So I'm drinking vodka. Cheers, mommies. Welcome back
to the Cougar Den. Ladies. We have missed you.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I gotta tell you something. I want to go take
a drink out of my cup and I literally want
to go, like put the microphone in my mouth. I
don't know what's happening tonight because to get us to
where we are right now with the video and the thing,
there's been wine split over cheese and shrim Yeah, lots
of conversations about dates and times.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Matthew saw a mouse. This is not cool. I love
the Cougar Down, but if I see a mouse, I
am selling this friggin' house. It's gone burning it. I'm
done burning it to the ground.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I know you said we could talk about it, but like,
can we talk about your neighbors.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Or no, you talk about my neighbors.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, she told me that she had an expert on
bats that removal, But why did you call that? Okay,
So anyways, her next or neighbor has an infestation. She said,
there's in the morning hundreds of bats where she has
to duck.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
If anybody can help me. My neighbors, which are really
close to me, have had a bat infestation for probably
twenty years. I tell them every year I can't go
out of my house, like right now. Miles came over
and I'm like, dude, it's gonna be dark. There's gonna
be bats out there, early in the morning, late early
in the evening. The bats filter into this woman's house
(02:28):
and she doesn't give a shitundreds hundreds I lost count
of like one hundred and fifty one night with me
and my girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I held you in.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So I called a bat specialist, who, by the way,
was really hot.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
What's his name, Oh Sean Sean. Oh Sean showed up.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
He was hot, but he had no personality anyway, He's
going to batproof my house just to make sure, because
I know her hotel is booked and those fuckers are
going to come over to my house.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Okay. So basically he's like closing up your cave.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
He is going to seal up the cave. He's a
lot of money, though.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Damn, why does it cost us to have that happen?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I don't know, but any if anybody can steal up
my cave free let me know. All right, do we
want to get into this please? All right, So we
are back in the garage and I would love to
do a Cougar Cub check in if.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You want, let's check in with the cubs.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Shout out to all of our cubs. First of all,
Shawna wants weird and coincidence.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Oh yeah, that's her new segment in every episode because
of Shauna, because of.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You, Shauna. It is coming up. So hang tight, it
is coming up. It's right around the corner. Cougar Cub Jordan,
she sent a photo. I should show it to you.
She brought She bought snail mucus for her neck. No,
I in our last episode I brought I showed you
my snail mucus.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I wasn't thrilled about it. Then you guys keep putting
animal no crap on your skin.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Jordan, you you let me know how it works, because
I know it works good on my neck.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
You do have to say you look at me.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Is its great for your skin? So she bought the
snail mucus.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Cougar Cub Daniella says, uh, we can go to any
of her husband's shows at the wolf Den. He plays
in the bon Jovie tribute band Shut The I swear
to God, I wish I had her phone number. I
would call Danielle right now.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Courtney, we need to go.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I know, we need to look at the She gave
me their website and we can pick a date and
she will get us into the wolf Den and we'll
get to see the show.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
The Cougar's in our den going to the wolf Den. Oh, Courtney,
let me tell you. I think we're gonna find that
exterminator for you.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
He know, Angela just wants more episodes. Thank you, Angela.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
You know what, Angela, thank you so much for the encouragement,
because we do too.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
If you could reach out to Miles and make them
a little more available to me, we'd have a lot
more episodes.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Listen, we are gonna cook it up, and we're gonna
do it up this summer, and we're gonna do it big. Okay,
it's Jurassic goddamn park in this fucking rotch.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
We wanted to be in my garage and there's just
a lot of animals.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
She didn't spider check the set. She there's mice living
in her garage. No, I'm kidding. Actually there's mice living
in my house at here and my walls.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Angela wants more episodes we talked about. Selena wants us
to make a chocolate martini.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Selena, I have so many friends that are Selena. I
have a steps Selena and best friend Slena. What Selena
is this?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It's our our cougar Selena.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Oh, I wonder if I know her? A chocolate martini somethst.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I know I need to learn how to make one,
and we're we are going to do that, I promise.
And that's it for our cougar cub check.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
In so well. I gotta say it's growing every week.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
It is.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
It's growing every week. So if you guys really want
us to like talk to you and stuff like, we
might have to like not look at our dms because
we're getting so popular.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
If you would like to be one of our Cougar cubs,
you've got to reach out to us on Instagram. Just
send me a DM. Let us know what you want
us to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
The best thing is after we film the episodes two
sometimes we like do drunk selfies to you guys, we.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Do absolutely And since it's our Mother's Day special, because
this episode is dropping just a few days before Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yep, do you do anything special for your mom?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I show up, okay, just show up. Do you buy anything?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I'll do her hair because she texts me like nine
hundred times that she wants a French bob.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
What if the hell is a French bob.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It's a very short lesbian bob.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I met your mother.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
She has long blonde hair with tattoos. She's a little lesbian. No,
she's lesbian.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ise you call me lesbian eese.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Well, I am Brenane by the way you are. That's
why I put the spin on it for you. But no,
she wants a French bob. I'll give her that if
I do a French bob. I know your long hair, girl.
I want to get you bust down twenty two inch extensions.
I wrought you literally walking around here with like Nicki
minaj No. I gotta tell you something. You your hair
(06:47):
is so perfect. It's a length. You got the layers
okay anywhere.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
See, he's my hairdresser, and I hate wearing it. I
mean to wear a hat all the time because I
love my cougar hat. It's part of the whole vine.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, I eighty six of the cougar hat because I
looked a little gay. It was a little much, and
you want to know what, fuck you for that. I'm
sorry for using the effort so much, but I want
you chilies after one of the episodes in that goddamn
hat and I was like tipsies, so didn't even realize. Oh,
I got into a fight with a customer that day too.
Didn't realize that I was wearing the hat. And I'm
be in Chili's so six foot twounds. Thanks Court, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I bet you look good in it. Though I like
you and the cougar hat, I know I bought it
for you.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I'm not wearing it again.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
By the way, the cougar hat is also in our
favorite Things basket that we're giving away away.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
And if you're listening to this, there's still time to enter.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
There is still time to enter. Time is ticking. This
is our giveaway, it's our favorite things. I put in
it the cougar hat that I'm wearing right now. Yep,
that looks really good on Miles. But he won't wear
your two favorite hair products in here. We don't have
to go through it because if you you go to Instagram,
you can see everything. My salmon sperm for my neck
(08:02):
it's in there too.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
She literally has a pet salmon in here, and she
you know, gets the product right on hand.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
But this is our giveaway, so don't forget check us
out on Instagram. You'll find out how to win this basket.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Love it for our cougars, love it.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
All right, So would you like me to do weirder coincidence?
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yes? And then I want to catch up with you
because I feel like, well, let's catch up first. Okay, Well,
I wanted to like know like I have, like people
have to understand, like I've been pretty busy and like
with stuff, and so I haven't been here in a while.
What have you been up to besides like hooking up
with bats and exterminators?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
You blow me off more than anybody I know.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
You want to know what? I knew she was gonna
say that, But that's it. What about all the times
that you said not gonna happen this weekend and then
give me that goddamn thumbs up thing. If I go
through she's blown me off twice.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
He's getting double thumbs up next.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
And I got to tell you something. I don't know
what I got to tell you, but I feel bad
and I'm sorry, and I'm here and I love being
here and I love doing this so much. But you
are What have you been up to?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
H just working, like literally working, and then dealing with
my neighbor's bat infestation. What am I supposed to do
with that shit?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I have? Literally?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
So actually I want to dive a little bit more
into that. Are you friends with your neighbor? Not really,
so fuck her now.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
But when the bat guy came, I had him go
around her house and get an estimate, and I emailed
her the estimate and told her that I need to
start enjoying the outside. I have pets, I can't go out.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Is she old?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
No, she's younger than I am.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Oh, so she's just a bat.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
She doesn't like out, she doesn't go outside, okay, and
she's got kids in the house.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
I have to imagine she's not going to listen to that.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And last time I talked to her a year ago,
she told me they were finding bats in their garage
and bats falling through the ceiling in their home. So
this is what happens I have called dep whatever. They
don't do anything. Bats are a protected species in Connecticut.
And the woman at d E P. Whatever that is
told me that if my my neighbor likes to live
(10:00):
with bats in her home, it's okay. I called the town. Hello.
The town does nothing either.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
I gotta tell you something. The lesbians are running deep.
I know they are.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Tells me on the She's like, I love bats. There's
bats aren't a problem. I go, yes, they are a problem.
They hit me in the head, they swirl around. It's
not one or two bats, it's hundreds of bats pelting
me in the head. When I go out.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
You just started taking videos.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I do, but I don't want to go out and
take the video. I'm too afraid.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
No, you gotta take videos. You gotta do one for
the team, because I gotta tell you something that's crazy
and in fact, I am weird that my brother had
a bat in the fireplace. Yeah, comes right down, and
they like they got an extreminator there, like that, like
that because it's dangerous. Yes, you have to say something.
Gail got attacked by a bat.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna I have
a motorcycle helmet and I'll put that on, yeah, and
then go out and take the video.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
But also i'd make up like a little white lie.
It wouldn't hurt anyone. Say your mom got bit?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Can I say your mam goa bit?
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah, I'm got bet and do to hippo purposes and reasons.
I can't tell you who that is.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I don't know, but I think there's some sort of
health issue. And the woman at the town that I
live in tells me on the phone, this is like
their wildlife whatever that she looked it up bagwana, which
is bat poo.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
You're gonna starting.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
What I don't I don't know. We're gonna get rid
of the bats.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Well, I got contact lenses?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
What is that going to do with bats well?
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I'm just telling you what happened in my life now.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Oh wait, wait, this.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Is a runway relationship just here. I guess to be
the big boy in the room.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
So you got contact lenses?
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Yes, But the reason why I'm telling you this is
because I went to the doctors today. His name's Ryan.
He's a client of ours. He's really cute but very nerdy.
Okay whatever, No, not saying he's totally married. I don't
know anything about the wife. Okay, but anyway, so he
is doing it and he's looking and I don't even
know if I told you this, but he's looking at
my eyelashes because I was telling you. I was like,
(12:00):
I want to wear contacts. Sometimes I get dry, okay, okay,
sometimes it calls sandman dust, like my out of corners,
your little crusty whatever, and that grosses me out. So
he's looking. He goes, I see evidence of mites, and
I said.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Excuse me, stop in your eyes?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah. Stop, So there's bacteria. This happens. I learned a
fun fact. Fun factor.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I see an eye doctor.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, well that's what I said. I know.
We're in the back of his van. I don't know
what it is. So he says, over twenty five million
Americans deal with this problem.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I might. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Is it twenty five million Americans or worldwide? Anyways? He
says that, you like, I don't know the facts, but
he did say, twenty five million people have this and.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
More, how did you get rid of the mites?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
So I have to buy a medication? I shit, you not.
Seventeen hundred dollars. He says it costs if I don't
have insurance. I said, well, that's actually not happening, so
I guess they can stay. And then he's like, no,
we'll work with the rep or whatever to get down cheaper.
I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I'm capped out at a
eighty bucks for this I stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Can I get eye mites from you?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Can?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Can we get Oh my god, you're gonna give me
freaking eye mites?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Yeah? And he said he couldn't see anybody saw evidence
of that. So I don't know if he's trying to
sell me a seventeen hundred dollars medication anyways. So that's
my life.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Please answer me, am I, No, you can't get it,
you can't catch So then does he say no, that's
definitely not happening. So you go to see him and
he gives you contacts?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah, so he got me contact. Well, yeah, he checked
out my.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Eyes, okay, because I want contacts. I'm sick of these
damn glasses.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
So are you near far or yeah? Near sted? Uh?
Nearsighted so you can't see close.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I can't see closed far?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, Oh my god, that's so weird. I'm far. I
can't see far.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Okay, I wonder if I can get contact. Of course
you can, because these are annoying, they're so ugly.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Well, I have them, I've had in my whole life.
I just I wanted something news and I have something
in my eyes. So and I have I mites. Oh,
and he found out I had a floater.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
What's a floater?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Like a little black thing? I see it's when anyway.
So yeah, I have a couple of things in my eyes.
That's my open is.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It might dander you know what it might be, Mike
pooh in your eye?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Well, let me tell you. If it has sperm, I'm
sure I'll extract it and you'll put it on your
face that she's jerking off bats in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
How are you not getting the medicine for your eye.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Because I don't have it all the time. So I
don't know if he's just bssing me or not.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Somebody needs to please reach out to the cougar Den podcast.
You cannot have mice in your eyes. We need to
fix that.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I know it's in my eyelashes. That's why they're so
like fixed like you know, so, but.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
You look great. I don't know if I've ever remember
you wearing glasses, that's why.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, no, I had some.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Okay, you look great with thank you with contacts.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
I'm trying to find a guy, so you know it's
it's it's working out, not even funny.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
So that's it for you. I've been dealing with mice.
Yeah I'm not my well mice because we saw him
in here, but bats and all that stuff, and you've
been dealing with your eyes.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah, okay, that's her updates, all right.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So I have got weirder coincidence if you're ready for it.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I'm ready because you gave him to.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Me last time. But I bet you've already heard these
ones and oh I've got to look. So here's the deal.
Weird weirder coincidence. This is for cougar cub Shawna. Anne
Hathaway's husband, Adam Schulman, looks shockingly like Shakespeare. Shakespeare was
married to a woman named Anne Hathaway.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
So you're saying they're vampires.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I don't know, but I think that's a little strange.
And I looked it up and he does look just
like Shakespeare.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
So that is like this myth I heard a long
time ago that all roads lead to Hillary Clinton. Okay,
I've never heard something like that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Maybe Kevin Bacon.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Oh okay, I don't know why I thought Hillary Clinton.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I don't know. I I think that's the Kevin Bacon thing.
Can we get rid of the mice in his eyes?
They're eating through his brain?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I see Hillary.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Katy Perry is John ben A Ramsey.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Weird coincidence. I agree on that.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I think it's weird. I think it's weird that Anne
Hathaway's husband looks just like Shakespeare, just like him. I'll
pull it up and Shakespeare was married to a woman
named Anne Hathaway.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with
weird because it's weird. Hollywood's weird.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
It's so weird. Okay, Katy Perry is John ben A Ramsey.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I've heard this one.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It was a hoax setup by John Beney's family so
that their little girl, John ben A Ramsey could grow
up a star. I don't, I don't even.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
That doesn't make any sense because Katy Perry is a
star anyways, But like John Bennet is a.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Star too, it doesn't make any sense. Because John ben A.
Ramsey was a little blonde girl. Is Katy Perry naturally blonde?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
No? But you want to know something weird about that?
Did you hear about her stomach? Who's the autopsy? Apparently
she had like a massive amount of water or something
like that in her stomach. I'm not I'm not kidding.
Look it up like something there.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Was you melon her?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, finding really weird. It was like like a whole watermelon,
amount of watermelon in her stomach. What Look at what
was in Joan's stomach when she was passed, or grapes
or something. You know what, I think the grapes are
trying to talk.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
It doesn't, it doesn't. Nothing's coming up because.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You haven't type send.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
There you go, John Benet Ramsey's stomach generating.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Pineapple partially digested pineapple. She had just an abserd amount
of pineapples.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Was finding a significant because it contradicts Ramsey's statements to
police that Jump and I had gone straight to bed
the night before her death and not eaten anything.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
And she had eaten The.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Autopsy found partially digested pineapple in her stomach. But I
mean maybe she had to bite pineapple before she went
to bed. I don't is that coincidence? Is that weird?
What is that?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I think their whole family is weird, and I think
it's the brother what.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Investigators also discovered a bowl of pineapple with milk in it?
Why would you put milk in a bowl of pineapple?
Is that weird?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
As killer? I have no idea?
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Stop ridiculous? All right, Well that's all I that's all.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
That's weird too, Like I I you're gonna say coincidence, Yeah,
because you know what, why would they have to do
a whole thing about her murdered daughter for her to
become Katie parents? Yeah, they're famous.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
You're right. I'm gonna agree with you, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Yeah, if we find out Katie was like, I don't know, No,
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Okay, Well there you go. There's your weirder coincidence. I
wanted to get it out there, all right. Would you
like to do truth or drink?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
I'm always ready for this, Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I think of enough vodka left in my drink. By
the way, Happy Mother's Day because Mother's Day is in
a few days.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.
Thank you for making us people. Thank you here is
especially shout out to the ones that didn't have a
partner growing their children up.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, single moms doing it all. That's a lot. That
is a lot. Have you ever had a dirty dream
about a celebrity?
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Oh? Absolutely? And who did? I just find out? Who's
my Who's my celebrity crush? He's so hot?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Sounded out?
Speaker 3 (19:24):
What is it? I can't even tell you? What the sun?
What does he do? Bad Bunny his new Calvin clim Oh,
bad Bunny?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Is packing?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Packing?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I know, yeah, I know. You can wait, pull up
the photo. Wait, I want to find out who I like?
Who is that guy?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Listen, you're not having a dirty dream about a celebrity
if you don't even know who this is.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
No, I did, I totally did. I woke up like
I was like in the living room by myself. I
don't know I was weird, okay, But no, I have
and it was him and I can't think of his name.
Fucking ass.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I have reoccurring dreams of me hooking up with Brad
Pitt for years since I was like in my twenties.
I do, but he wouldn't be anybody I would date
or anything. So I don't know why I keep having
dreams about me and Brad Pitt.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Well, he does look like a surfer.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Maybe that's it.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
But the long hair is giving a little Kaitlin, I know,
maybe that pre Kaitlyn.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Pre Kaitlyn. Yeah, okay, all right, go.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Ahead, okay, mine. Who was the last guy you thought
of in like a sensual way?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Paul Hollywood?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Who the hell is Paul Hollywood? Is that a meteorologist?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, he's a baker.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
You know what, Courtney, You and the God? Do you like? Bible? Handed?
The Bible? You literally think about him like sexual? Yes, Paul,
you are verified on Instagram? Message him?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
No, he's married Paul Hollywood. But he's not like a
normal person. You mean, like a normal like the guy
next door. Yeah, like you like no nobody. I'm sorry
and I answered it, okay. Question number two, Oh, what's
the last thing you google search to pull up your phone? Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Private? But I want to see Lennon Scrafters. Gay areas
in Washington, d C? Fire Island Hotels?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Are you going to Washington, d C?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Well, this boring beach over there. I wanted to go
to a music festival. Boy friend, Paris Hillton, Cheshiapaidus, chroy
Sevon like all of them are going to Pride Night festival.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Right, But Pride is June.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
It's all year round when you're not homophobic.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
So, by the way, guy, Pride Day, have you ever
heard of that? I don't know what that is, but
I was looking up Pride because in June, I think
you and I need to really do it up for
our podcast. Absolutely, we need to pride the ship out.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Oh we will literally wear like.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Fine, you will dress, you will tell me how to
do Pride? Right?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Should we turn Courtney into a drag queen? Yes for
an episode? Yes, okay, yes, I would love that. I
we'll do that.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
But I know, Guy, Pride Day is coming up. I
don't I don't even know what you want?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It to be kind of fun? Actually we should Actually
I know a couple of drag queens we should have,
Like we've never had a guest on our podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But would they come in if there's mice in here?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Drag queens? Yeah, they perform in sticky gay clubs. This
is like the Rich Carleton Are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Are you gonna drag queens in June?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
We have a guest. I feel like we need to
start interrogating people on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Okay, the last thing I.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Go oh yeah, oh, I thought no. I had a question,
but I thought you were gonna skip. I wanted I
wanted to know yours.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
John Bennet's stomach contest.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Betch you just did that? What about before that?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I don't know how you find out.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I don't know if I want to.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
There's nothing in there.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
You want to know what's funny? So I upload like
the podcast on YouTube and stuff. You have your YouTube
history turned off? What are you youtubeing?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I don't know what I just turned I don't I
don't know how I got on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Sam the Great Baking Sperm, all right, you.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Can read your next question?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
All right?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, John ban A Ramsey was the last thing I googled?
A good one or not? Because I'd like to drink.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
If your exes formed a group chat about you, what
is one? I already asked you this.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I think you did.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I have a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I would love to know what my exes thought about me.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, literally, reach out, um.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
If you can't handle it, I got no.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I have a ton. What's something petty that you've done recently,
like something that you've done to someone where you're like, Oh,
I just wanted to shove it in their face.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
The lady with a fucking bag. Yeah, I had the
guy walk around her house and write an estimate, and
I gave him her name, and then I delivered her
the es.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Would you pay for it?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Hers? No, because it was double mind because her house
is a mess.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Oh my god, how wait? Can you tell me how
much it was?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, so my house is thirteen hundred, and he's going
to cap off some of the eves and like, really
secure my house.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
You are not about to spend thirteen hundred dollars on
closing up your holes my house.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yes, hers was like twenty five hundred because her house
has more areas where they've been living in her house
for thirty years. Twenty thirty years. He's got a lot
of work to do over there. How old is she
She's younger than I am. She's probably in her forties.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
So she bought her house when she was fifteen.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Well, she was married and then they got divorced and
then he's bry next door. No, it's just her and
her three kids and five hundred bats.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I'm really, I'm going a dingong five hundred bats.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Anyway, that was the petty. That was the last petty
thing I did.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
That was that was petty.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I want to get you on us, Tomate. What's the
most disgusting thing you've ever put in your mouth or eaten?
Should I say eaten? You had to chew it and
swallow it?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
What was it most disgusting thing? My god, come on now,
probably the sky Dan No, I'm kidding, Holy shit, yep,
you're right about that. So Matthew like he doesn't get
New York. Like, when you're in New York, there's like
a niche thing for everything you want to screw. You
can't just go to Home Deep, but you got to
go to the screw store, which has five thousand fucking screws.
(25:14):
Same thing with the restaurants, so like, not every restaurant
is gonna have a hot dog, hamburger, chicken, you know
what I mean, it's gonna have a niche thing. So
we're walking, we going to this restaurant. They bring out
this clam clip and I don't know if I can
say that, but I did so quick you can edit
it out. It's a clam I'm not saying the word.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
So it's not an oyster, it's a plan thing.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
But what was on it's a clam. It was like beaten,
you know, because there's so some.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
A charred beat with a caviar caviar.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
And a clam hoover cooder is a clam coonter right,
exactly what I am?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Like a coal hog? It was oh yeah, now twenty
six dollars one dye.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
They're like, oh so it's been dipped in mud an
age for thirty six years in the back out?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Who ordered that?
Speaker 3 (26:14):
This fucker? Sorry, I like the whine is really actually
turning me into a dirty mouth. I'm sorry. PG.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So your Matthew ordered it, ordered.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
The clam cooters because why Matthew?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Just because he was not, okay.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It's one bite, you should really have two for this.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Oh so he ordered it and he didn't realize it.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Was take this lesbian right in her cooter for making
order that.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
But was it disgusting when you ate it?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
You put it in and it was grosses?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Okay, do you guys like oysters?
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Okay, No, I'm just saying it sounds like it's probably
was a clam, which is like a raw clam.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
No it was no, no, no, no, it just the cooter was
the vessel. The cooter was the vessel. Okay, the kudo
was the decoration to bring us over the beaten down
goddamn vegan.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
That is disgusting.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
What's the crossest thing you put in your mouth?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
So six Flags New England came into the radio station
one year and they had it. Was right around Halloween.
They're like, we want to see if anybody will eat
a hissing cockroach.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
You did not, You're not helping the rum. No.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I was there, you know, in the studio with a
bunch of men and they were all freaking out and screaming,
and I took a hissing cockroach, giant brown cockroach, and
stuck it my mouth and I chewed it and I
swallowed it, and I'll tell you what it tasted like.
It tasted like saran wraps stuffed with cottage cheese. It
(27:46):
was the most plastic it was. It tasted more like
plastic with a cottage cheese filling.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
I have a really bad guy like I'm like like actually,
like I'm tearing it.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
We bet money and that's the only reason I did it.
But I ate it. Hissing cock croach.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Okay, six Flags? Wait, do you remember that rumor that
you hooked up with the old man that did the
six Flags commercials? No, but he was creepy. Did you
meet him? No?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I have not met him.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, creepy. I don't old creepy man from six Flags.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
He was like the fear in her eyes when I
said that, She's like, did I No? He was bald yes,
with glasses.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Yes, and very scary looking.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
You know, I've talked about this before on the podcast,
but I'm pissed at your station. We're not doing the
summer kickoff concerts anymore?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
I know.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Is there no talk about it?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
There isn't No.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Have you brought it up?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
No?
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Why Courney, that was the coolest thing.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
You were like, Beyonce, No, they just don't do it anymore.
I think it's a six Flags thing. I think what
happened was, Okay, there's other the world turned crazy and
everybody's suing everybody, so nobody wants to do anything that
wouldn't you know, involve like large crowds and celebrities.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Has that been a conversation? So I think that you've
heard rumor about that. No, I don't know that. I
want to know, like the world, I don't know. Oh,
she is so good at lying right through her.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Don't know why we haven't done the summer key.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
We should literally call this the lying dead. We just
lie to each other. Drink all right, I get.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
One more question than we need to eat our shrimp cocktail.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Okay, okay, in the have you ever downloaded a dating
app recently and then deleted it in the last year?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well, you told me bumble bff was a lesbian.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Yeah, I'm saying like one like where there's men on it. No, okay,
so you want to do that tonight.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Listen. I have been on e Harmony match, millionaire match,
I know, I've been on a lot that was before.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Wait, what's millionaire match?
Speaker 2 (29:49):
When you want to meet a millionaire? And one millionaire
reached out to me and it was he was like
nine hundred years old.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Good, then you don't have to do anything. And this
goddamn a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
So we're talking like twenty years ago. I went on
all these I haven't been on any dating apps in
like twenty years.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
This, okay, well we have to change that.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
But what are we going to go on tell me
what I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
No, I'm telling you right now. I think we're gonna
try hinge yep, hinge and bumble okay, and then I
think maybe Facebook dating too. There's a Facebook day, there's
like a dating Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Are these things you're telling me to download just for
like sex? Or am I going to?
Speaker 3 (30:28):
No? No, no no. If that was I would tell
you to down the Grinder.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
It's like, okay, yeah, Grinder's game.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
I don't want Why do you know what grinder is?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I do know what Grinder is? I don't know because
I know them all.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I've literally been one grinders.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Say Hi, what's up Grinder party?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
If you download a Grinder, all the games go crazy,
that'd be funny.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Wait is Grinder just for just days?
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Like back door access on the Okay?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
No, I can't.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Can I tell you a really scary sorry about old
men and dating super quick?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
But is this because I'm going to be dating old men?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
No? Just reminded me when you said the nine year
old man. Okay, so we have a client the sawn
I show. You know this fucking happened the other night. Sorry,
I keep saying that's okay. We can say, Okay. The
other night I was on the phone with you at work.
We have a client and she has a sugar daddy.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Okay but perfect.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
She doesn't do anything with the sugar didy sexually. He
gets off by getting.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Berated and you're yelling at him.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Talking down. So he comes and swipes the card for
the product and all that. She gets her head on
once a week whatever she wants, and he'll come. She'll
come and get your card out. Courtney gets worse there
like this, she's there, this old man's are wearing a
Yukon hat. Get your card out. Come on. They want
(31:42):
us to pay. Why aren't you paying? God, you're so
old like that. So I'm outside on the phone with
Matthew the other night she comes out of the lawn
and you know when you have like tunnel hearing where
you're like, oh my god, like I hear this. She's going,
come on, bitch, open my door. Why are you being
such a bitch. You're so slow dum and then literally
goes you want me to open the door. Yeah, bitch,
(32:03):
I didn't. Did I start her? Come on, bitch, we're
going to get gas. Bitch right now, close my door, bitch,
follow me in my car like talking like that.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Okay, but see now I hurt for him.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
No, he loves it.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
So you think he loves this. He wants to be
treated like that.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
He's paying her to talk to her like this, paying her.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
We'll give him my number.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Bitchy, I've never I'm I'm gonna jump over. What's in
that bucket? What is that thing?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
What thing? The orange thing that's very biscuous?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Oh, that is my Now you're gonna call me a lesbian.
That's my patch kit for my paddle board. Okay, I
have a big bucket off camera, and it's got my
paddle board and my paddles, and it's got my life vest.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
And that's a couple of pictures of them.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
But you're looking at the orange thing because it's shaped
like a penis.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Yeah, I didn't know, like what you do with that.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
That's a patch kit in case I get a hole
on my paddle board.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
She's prepared, ladies, gentlemen, She's prepared, gentleman. That's what I meant.
That's what I meant.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
So I gotta just tell you before we wrap it up.
There is and I forget which day it is. I
have it in here somewhere, but there is a national
online dating day okay for one of our podcasts. Okay,
so if we don't sign me up now right because
you want me to sign up on a day night tonight,
it's either going to be the next one or the
(33:26):
one after. It's coming up. It's in May, okay, so
it's this month. You need to think about it because
I feel like I should do Rayah.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Oh you can do? You have an account on Ryah?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
How do well? Do you have to sign up Riya?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
They but they back, so you'll get in because you
have the followers and your like you're famous, so like
you have the thing.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
I feel like, I is that Rya tell me to
do that, and that's what I should do.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
So Riya is a dating app for people who are
like influencers, celebrities like Jajob Courtney. You forget who you
are and I'm here to remind you You're Courtney and
kissing in the morning.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Don't know if I could do that?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Everyone I say, oh do you know Courtney? Because oh
my god, they know you. You would get on in
a second.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Okay, So to.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Get it, We're gonna get you on our.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Podcast that is going to be airing on the fourteenth.
It is National Online Romance Day, okay, and it's the
official day where you need to sign up online to
find your love.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I just think it's time for you to get the
paddle board out and find your lady.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
We're gonna do it. You help me fill it out,
we'll fill it out together.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
We're gonna do it. I think that'd be a fun
just YouTube video, even if if it wasn't a podcast episode.
So people are driving to work and we're not like,
look at this, No, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, that is coming up, ladies,
don't forget as we wrap it up. This is our
big giveaway. This is our big basket of our favorite things,
all my favorite things. The baseball hat, the salmon sperm. Yep,
you got Miles, who's the best hairdresser on the planet.
All of his favorite hair products are in here. If
you want to win this basket, check us out on
Instagram the cougar Den podcast on Instagram and you will
(35:07):
find out how to enter to win this.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Absolutely, this was fun. I'm happy to be back.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Happy to be back. We are officially now in the
original Cougar Den. We're back a garage with mice and
spiders and bats.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
But whatever, and Courtney, we started this in January. It's
may I know. This was our first summer in the den.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
We literally did one podcast in the garage but everybody
was too cold. But now we're back.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Well we had a bitch You team then. Anyways, we're back.
Love it. That's it all right, ladies, cheers.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Hit us up on Instagram, you can watch us on YouTube,
you can check us out on TikTok and so much more.
But make sure you reach out to us, let us
know what you want us to talk about, and we
love you.
And now from a garage somewhere in Connecticut. It's the
cougar Den Podcast with Courtney and Miles Juices.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey, it is Courtney a mile.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Howdy howdy.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We are back and we are in the original cougar Den.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
This is wild. I'm having like weird flashbacks, like the
first time we like sat down and like met and
I got trashed here. If you did never seen episode one,
go back and listen and watch, because it tried truthfully
by what I was blacked out?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Can I tell you anybody who comes into my cougar
Den and the garage is blacked out at some point,
that's just it's you have.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
To be no. I was so nervous, and then like
on top of it, like the drinks were flowing, and
I think we filmed like what like two episodes? We
did we do because we didn't know what we're doing?
And then welcome back.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
It was a little too cold this winter. Nobody wanted
to be in my original Cougardan. But now that it's
warmed up, we don't have a specialty cougar cocktail because
this is our Mother's Day special and you are drinking.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
My reasling wine. I come from a long line of
wine drunks.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Okay, and you're doing that because your mom loves wine
wine for in honor of Mother's Day, and my mother
likes vodka, So I'm drinking vodka. Cheers, mommies. Welcome back
to the Cougar Den. Ladies. We have missed you.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I gotta tell you something. I want to go take
a drink out of my cup and I literally want
to go, like put the microphone in my mouth. I
don't know what's happening tonight because to get us to
where we are right now with the video and the thing,
there's been wine split over cheese and shrim Yeah, lots
of conversations about dates and times.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Matthew saw a mouse. This is not cool. I love
the Cougar Down, but if I see a mouse, I
am selling this friggin' house. It's gone burning it. I'm
done burning it to the ground.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I know you said we could talk about it, but like,
can we talk about your neighbors.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Or no, you talk about my neighbors.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, she told me that she had an expert on
bats that removal, But why did you call that? Okay,
So anyways, her next or neighbor has an infestation. She said,
there's in the morning hundreds of bats where she has
to duck.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
If anybody can help me. My neighbors, which are really
close to me, have had a bat infestation for probably
twenty years. I tell them every year I can't go
out of my house, like right now. Miles came over
and I'm like, dude, it's gonna be dark. There's gonna
be bats out there, early in the morning, late early
in the evening. The bats filter into this woman's house
(02:28):
and she doesn't give a shitundreds hundreds I lost count
of like one hundred and fifty one night with me
and my girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I held you in.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So I called a bat specialist, who, by the way,
was really hot.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
What's his name, Oh Sean Sean. Oh Sean showed up.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
He was hot, but he had no personality anyway, He's
going to batproof my house just to make sure, because
I know her hotel is booked and those fuckers are
going to come over to my house.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Okay. So basically he's like closing up your cave.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
He is going to seal up the cave. He's a
lot of money, though.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Damn, why does it cost us to have that happen?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I don't know, but any if anybody can steal up
my cave free let me know. All right, do we
want to get into this please? All right, So we
are back in the garage and I would love to
do a Cougar Cub check in if.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You want, let's check in with the cubs.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Shout out to all of our cubs. First of all,
Shawna wants weird and coincidence.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Oh yeah, that's her new segment in every episode because
of Shauna, because of.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You, Shauna. It is coming up. So hang tight, it
is coming up. It's right around the corner. Cougar Cub Jordan,
she sent a photo. I should show it to you.
She brought She bought snail mucus for her neck. No,
I in our last episode I brought I showed you
my snail mucus.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I wasn't thrilled about it. Then you guys keep putting
animal no crap on your skin.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Jordan, you you let me know how it works, because
I know it works good on my neck.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
You do have to say you look at me.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Is its great for your skin? So she bought the
snail mucus.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Cougar Cub Daniella says, uh, we can go to any
of her husband's shows at the wolf Den. He plays
in the bon Jovie tribute band Shut The I swear
to God, I wish I had her phone number. I
would call Danielle right now.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Courtney, we need to go.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I know, we need to look at the She gave
me their website and we can pick a date and
she will get us into the wolf Den and we'll
get to see the show.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
The Cougar's in our den going to the wolf Den. Oh, Courtney,
let me tell you. I think we're gonna find that
exterminator for you.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
He know, Angela just wants more episodes. Thank you, Angela.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
You know what, Angela, thank you so much for the encouragement,
because we do too.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
If you could reach out to Miles and make them
a little more available to me, we'd have a lot
more episodes.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Listen, we are gonna cook it up, and we're gonna
do it up this summer, and we're gonna do it big. Okay,
it's Jurassic goddamn park in this fucking rotch.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
We wanted to be in my garage and there's just
a lot of animals.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
She didn't spider check the set. She there's mice living
in her garage. No, I'm kidding. Actually there's mice living
in my house at here and my walls.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Angela wants more episodes we talked about. Selena wants us
to make a chocolate martini.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Selena, I have so many friends that are Selena. I
have a steps Selena and best friend Slena. What Selena
is this?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It's our our cougar Selena.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Oh, I wonder if I know her? A chocolate martini somethst.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I know I need to learn how to make one,
and we're we are going to do that, I promise.
And that's it for our cougar cub check.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
In so well. I gotta say it's growing every week.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
It is.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
It's growing every week. So if you guys really want
us to like talk to you and stuff like, we
might have to like not look at our dms because
we're getting so popular.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
If you would like to be one of our Cougar cubs,
you've got to reach out to us on Instagram. Just
send me a DM. Let us know what you want
us to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
The best thing is after we film the episodes two
sometimes we like do drunk selfies to you guys, we.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Do absolutely And since it's our Mother's Day special, because
this episode is dropping just a few days before Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yep, do you do anything special for your mom?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I show up, okay, just show up. Do you buy anything?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I'll do her hair because she texts me like nine
hundred times that she wants a French bob.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
What if the hell is a French bob.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It's a very short lesbian bob.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I met your mother.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
She has long blonde hair with tattoos. She's a little lesbian. No,
she's lesbian.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ise you call me lesbian eese.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Well, I am Brenane by the way you are. That's
why I put the spin on it for you. But no,
she wants a French bob. I'll give her that if
I do a French bob. I know your long hair, girl.
I want to get you bust down twenty two inch extensions.
I wrought you literally walking around here with like Nicki
minaj No. I gotta tell you something. You your hair
(06:47):
is so perfect. It's a length. You got the layers
okay anywhere.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
See, he's my hairdresser, and I hate wearing it. I
mean to wear a hat all the time because I
love my cougar hat. It's part of the whole vine.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, I eighty six of the cougar hat because I
looked a little gay. It was a little much, and
you want to know what, fuck you for that. I'm
sorry for using the effort so much, but I want
you chilies after one of the episodes in that goddamn
hat and I was like tipsies, so didn't even realize. Oh,
I got into a fight with a customer that day too.
Didn't realize that I was wearing the hat. And I'm
be in Chili's so six foot twounds. Thanks Court, thank you.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I bet you look good in it. Though I like
you and the cougar hat, I know I bought it
for you.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
I'm not wearing it again.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
By the way, the cougar hat is also in our
favorite Things basket that we're giving away away.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
And if you're listening to this, there's still time to enter.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
There is still time to enter. Time is ticking. This
is our giveaway, it's our favorite things. I put in
it the cougar hat that I'm wearing right now. Yep,
that looks really good on Miles. But he won't wear
your two favorite hair products in here. We don't have
to go through it because if you you go to Instagram,
you can see everything. My salmon sperm for my neck
(08:02):
it's in there too.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
She literally has a pet salmon in here, and she
you know, gets the product right on hand.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
But this is our giveaway, so don't forget check us
out on Instagram. You'll find out how to win this basket.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Love it for our cougars, love it.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
All right, So would you like me to do weirder coincidence?
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Yes? And then I want to catch up with you
because I feel like, well, let's catch up first. Okay, Well,
I wanted to like know like I have, like people
have to understand, like I've been pretty busy and like
with stuff, and so I haven't been here in a while.
What have you been up to besides like hooking up
with bats and exterminators?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
You blow me off more than anybody I know.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
You want to know what? I knew she was gonna
say that, But that's it. What about all the times
that you said not gonna happen this weekend and then
give me that goddamn thumbs up thing. If I go
through she's blown me off twice.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
He's getting double thumbs up next.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
And I got to tell you something. I don't know
what I got to tell you, but I feel bad
and I'm sorry, and I'm here and I love being
here and I love doing this so much. But you
are What have you been up to?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
H just working, like literally working, and then dealing with
my neighbor's bat infestation. What am I supposed to do
with that shit?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I have? Literally?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
So actually I want to dive a little bit more
into that. Are you friends with your neighbor? Not really,
so fuck her now.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
But when the bat guy came, I had him go
around her house and get an estimate, and I emailed
her the estimate and told her that I need to
start enjoying the outside. I have pets, I can't go out.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Is she old?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
No, she's younger than I am.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Oh, so she's just a bat.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
She doesn't like out, she doesn't go outside, okay, and
she's got kids in the house.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
I have to imagine she's not going to listen to that.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And last time I talked to her a year ago,
she told me they were finding bats in their garage
and bats falling through the ceiling in their home. So
this is what happens I have called dep whatever. They
don't do anything. Bats are a protected species in Connecticut.
And the woman at d E P. Whatever that is
told me that if my my neighbor likes to live
(10:00):
with bats in her home, it's okay. I called the town. Hello.
The town does nothing either.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
I gotta tell you something. The lesbians are running deep.
I know they are.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Tells me on the She's like, I love bats. There's
bats aren't a problem. I go, yes, they are a problem.
They hit me in the head, they swirl around. It's
not one or two bats, it's hundreds of bats pelting
me in the head. When I go out.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
You just started taking videos.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I do, but I don't want to go out and
take the video. I'm too afraid.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
No, you gotta take videos. You gotta do one for
the team, because I gotta tell you something that's crazy
and in fact, I am weird that my brother had
a bat in the fireplace. Yeah, comes right down, and
they like they got an extreminator there, like that, like
that because it's dangerous. Yes, you have to say something.
Gail got attacked by a bat.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
You know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna I have
a motorcycle helmet and I'll put that on, yeah, and
then go out and take the video.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
But also i'd make up like a little white lie.
It wouldn't hurt anyone. Say your mom got bit?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Can I say your mam goa bit?
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah, I'm got bet and do to hippo purposes and reasons.
I can't tell you who that is.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I don't know, but I think there's some sort of
health issue. And the woman at the town that I
live in tells me on the phone, this is like
their wildlife whatever that she looked it up bagwana, which
is bat poo.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
You're gonna starting.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
What I don't I don't know. We're gonna get rid
of the bats.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Well, I got contact lenses?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
What is that going to do with bats well?
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I'm just telling you what happened in my life now.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Oh wait, wait, this.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Is a runway relationship just here. I guess to be
the big boy in the room.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
So you got contact lenses?
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Yes, But the reason why I'm telling you this is
because I went to the doctors today. His name's Ryan.
He's a client of ours. He's really cute but very nerdy.
Okay whatever, No, not saying he's totally married. I don't
know anything about the wife. Okay, but anyway, so he
is doing it and he's looking and I don't even
know if I told you this, but he's looking at
my eyelashes because I was telling you. I was like,
(12:00):
I want to wear contacts. Sometimes I get dry, okay, okay,
sometimes it calls sandman dust, like my out of corners,
your little crusty whatever, and that grosses me out. So
he's looking. He goes, I see evidence of mites, and
I said.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Excuse me, stop in your eyes?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah. Stop, So there's bacteria. This happens. I learned a
fun fact. Fun factor.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I see an eye doctor.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, well that's what I said. I know.
We're in the back of his van. I don't know
what it is. So he says, over twenty five million
Americans deal with this problem.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I might. It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Is it twenty five million Americans or worldwide? Anyways? He
says that, you like, I don't know the facts, but
he did say, twenty five million people have this and.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
More, how did you get rid of the mites?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
So I have to buy a medication? I shit, you not.
Seventeen hundred dollars. He says it costs if I don't
have insurance. I said, well, that's actually not happening, so
I guess they can stay. And then he's like, no,
we'll work with the rep or whatever to get down cheaper.
I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I'm capped out at a
eighty bucks for this I stuff.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Can I get eye mites from you?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Can?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Can we get Oh my god, you're gonna give me
freaking eye mites?
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Yeah? And he said he couldn't see anybody saw evidence
of that. So I don't know if he's trying to
sell me a seventeen hundred dollars medication anyways. So that's
my life.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Please answer me, am I, No, you can't get it,
you can't catch So then does he say no, that's
definitely not happening. So you go to see him and
he gives you contacts?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah, so he got me contact. Well, yeah, he checked
out my.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Eyes, okay, because I want contacts. I'm sick of these
damn glasses.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
So are you near far or yeah? Near sted? Uh?
Nearsighted so you can't see close.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I can't see closed far?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, Oh my god, that's so weird. I'm far. I
can't see far.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Okay, I wonder if I can get contact. Of course
you can, because these are annoying, they're so ugly.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Well, I have them, I've had in my whole life.
I just I wanted something news and I have something
in my eyes. So and I have I mites. Oh,
and he found out I had a floater.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
What's a floater?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Like a little black thing? I see it's when anyway.
So yeah, I have a couple of things in my eyes.
That's my open is.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It might dander you know what it might be, Mike
pooh in your eye?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Well, let me tell you. If it has sperm, I'm
sure I'll extract it and you'll put it on your
face that she's jerking off bats in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
How are you not getting the medicine for your eye.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Because I don't have it all the time. So I
don't know if he's just bssing me or not.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Somebody needs to please reach out to the cougar Den podcast.
You cannot have mice in your eyes. We need to
fix that.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I know it's in my eyelashes. That's why they're so
like fixed like you know, so, but.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
You look great. I don't know if I've ever remember
you wearing glasses, that's why.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, no, I had some.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Okay, you look great with thank you with contacts.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
I'm trying to find a guy, so you know it's
it's it's working out, not even funny.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
So that's it for you. I've been dealing with mice.
Yeah I'm not my well mice because we saw him
in here, but bats and all that stuff, and you've
been dealing with your eyes.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Yeah, okay, that's her updates, all right.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
So I have got weirder coincidence if you're ready for it.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I'm ready because you gave him to.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Me last time. But I bet you've already heard these
ones and oh I've got to look. So here's the deal.
Weird weirder coincidence. This is for cougar cub Shawna. Anne
Hathaway's husband, Adam Schulman, looks shockingly like Shakespeare. Shakespeare was
married to a woman named Anne Hathaway.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
So you're saying they're vampires.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
I don't know, but I think that's a little strange.
And I looked it up and he does look just
like Shakespeare.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
So that is like this myth I heard a long
time ago that all roads lead to Hillary Clinton. Okay,
I've never heard something like that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Maybe Kevin Bacon.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Oh okay, I don't know why I thought Hillary Clinton.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I don't know. I I think that's the Kevin Bacon thing.
Can we get rid of the mice in his eyes?
They're eating through his brain?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I see Hillary.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Katy Perry is John ben A Ramsey.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Weird coincidence. I agree on that.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I think it's weird. I think it's weird that Anne
Hathaway's husband looks just like Shakespeare, just like him. I'll
pull it up and Shakespeare was married to a woman
named Anne Hathaway.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with
weird because it's weird. Hollywood's weird.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
It's so weird. Okay, Katy Perry is John ben A Ramsey.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I've heard this one.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It was a hoax setup by John Beney's family so
that their little girl, John ben A Ramsey could grow
up a star. I don't, I don't even.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
That doesn't make any sense because Katy Perry is a
star anyways, But like John Bennet is a.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Star too, it doesn't make any sense. Because John ben A.
Ramsey was a little blonde girl. Is Katy Perry naturally blonde?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
No? But you want to know something weird about that?
Did you hear about her stomach? Who's the autopsy? Apparently
she had like a massive amount of water or something
like that in her stomach. I'm not I'm not kidding.
Look it up like something there.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Was you melon her?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Yeah, finding really weird. It was like like a whole watermelon,
amount of watermelon in her stomach. What Look at what
was in Joan's stomach when she was passed, or grapes
or something. You know what, I think the grapes are
trying to talk.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
It doesn't, it doesn't. Nothing's coming up because.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You haven't type send.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
There you go, John Benet Ramsey's stomach generating.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Pineapple partially digested pineapple. She had just an abserd amount
of pineapples.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Was finding a significant because it contradicts Ramsey's statements to
police that Jump and I had gone straight to bed
the night before her death and not eaten anything.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
And she had eaten The.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Autopsy found partially digested pineapple in her stomach. But I
mean maybe she had to bite pineapple before she went
to bed. I don't is that coincidence? Is that weird?
What is that?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I think their whole family is weird, and I think
it's the brother what.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Investigators also discovered a bowl of pineapple with milk in it?
Why would you put milk in a bowl of pineapple?
Is that weird?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
As killer? I have no idea?
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Stop ridiculous? All right, Well that's all I that's all.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
That's weird too, Like I I you're gonna say coincidence, Yeah,
because you know what, why would they have to do
a whole thing about her murdered daughter for her to
become Katie parents? Yeah, they're famous.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
You're right. I'm gonna agree with you, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Yeah, if we find out Katie was like, I don't know, No,
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Okay, Well there you go. There's your weirder coincidence. I
wanted to get it out there, all right. Would you
like to do truth or drink?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
I'm always ready for this, Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I think of enough vodka left in my drink. By
the way, Happy Mother's Day because Mother's Day is in
a few days.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.
Thank you for making us people. Thank you here is
especially shout out to the ones that didn't have a
partner growing their children up.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, single moms doing it all. That's a lot. That
is a lot. Have you ever had a dirty dream
about a celebrity?
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Oh? Absolutely? And who did? I just find out? Who's
my Who's my celebrity crush? He's so hot?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Sounded out?
Speaker 3 (19:24):
What is it? I can't even tell you? What the sun?
What does he do? Bad Bunny his new Calvin clim Oh,
bad Bunny?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Is packing?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Packing?
Speaker 3 (19:35):
I know, yeah, I know. You can wait, pull up
the photo. Wait, I want to find out who I like?
Who is that guy?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Listen, you're not having a dirty dream about a celebrity
if you don't even know who this is.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
No, I did, I totally did. I woke up like
I was like in the living room by myself. I
don't know I was weird, okay, But no, I have
and it was him and I can't think of his name.
Fucking ass.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I have reoccurring dreams of me hooking up with Brad
Pitt for years since I was like in my twenties.
I do, but he wouldn't be anybody I would date
or anything. So I don't know why I keep having
dreams about me and Brad Pitt.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Well, he does look like a surfer.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Maybe that's it.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
But the long hair is giving a little Kaitlin, I know,
maybe that pre Kaitlyn.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Pre Kaitlyn. Yeah, okay, all right, go.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Ahead, okay, mine. Who was the last guy you thought
of in like a sensual way?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Paul Hollywood?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Who the hell is Paul Hollywood? Is that a meteorologist?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
No, he's a baker.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
You know what, Courtney, You and the God? Do you like? Bible? Handed?
The Bible? You literally think about him like sexual? Yes, Paul,
you are verified on Instagram? Message him?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
No, he's married Paul Hollywood. But he's not like a
normal person. You mean, like a normal like the guy
next door. Yeah, like you like no nobody. I'm sorry
and I answered it, okay. Question number two, Oh, what's
the last thing you google search to pull up your phone? Oh?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Private? But I want to see Lennon Scrafters. Gay areas
in Washington, d C? Fire Island Hotels?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Are you going to Washington, d C?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Well, this boring beach over there. I wanted to go
to a music festival. Boy friend, Paris Hillton, Cheshiapaidus, chroy
Sevon like all of them are going to Pride Night festival.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Right, But Pride is June.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
It's all year round when you're not homophobic.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
So, by the way, guy, Pride Day, have you ever
heard of that? I don't know what that is, but
I was looking up Pride because in June, I think
you and I need to really do it up for
our podcast. Absolutely, we need to pride the ship out.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Oh we will literally wear like.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Fine, you will dress, you will tell me how to
do Pride? Right?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Should we turn Courtney into a drag queen? Yes for
an episode? Yes, okay, yes, I would love that. I
we'll do that.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
But I know, Guy, Pride Day is coming up. I
don't I don't even know what you want?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
It to be kind of fun? Actually we should Actually
I know a couple of drag queens we should have,
Like we've never had a guest on our podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But would they come in if there's mice in here?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Drag queens? Yeah, they perform in sticky gay clubs. This
is like the Rich Carleton Are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Are you gonna drag queens in June?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:28):
We have a guest. I feel like we need to
start interrogating people on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Okay, the last thing I.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Go oh yeah, oh, I thought no. I had a question,
but I thought you were gonna skip. I wanted I
wanted to know yours.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
John Bennet's stomach contest.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Betch you just did that? What about before that?
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I don't know how you find out.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I don't know if I want to.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
There's nothing in there.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
You want to know what's funny? So I upload like
the podcast on YouTube and stuff. You have your YouTube
history turned off? What are you youtubeing?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I don't know what I just turned I don't I
don't know how I got on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Sam the Great Baking Sperm, all right, you.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Can read your next question?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
All right?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, John ban A Ramsey was the last thing I googled?
A good one or not? Because I'd like to drink.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
If your exes formed a group chat about you, what
is one? I already asked you this.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I think you did.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I have a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I would love to know what my exes thought about me.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, literally, reach out, um.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
If you can't handle it, I got no.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I have a ton. What's something petty that you've done recently,
like something that you've done to someone where you're like, Oh,
I just wanted to shove it in their face.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
The lady with a fucking bag. Yeah, I had the
guy walk around her house and write an estimate, and
I gave him her name, and then I delivered her
the es.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Would you pay for it?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
Hers? No, because it was double mind because her house
is a mess.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Oh my god, how wait? Can you tell me how
much it was?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, so my house is thirteen hundred, and he's going
to cap off some of the eves and like, really
secure my house.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
You are not about to spend thirteen hundred dollars on
closing up your holes my house.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yes, hers was like twenty five hundred because her house
has more areas where they've been living in her house
for thirty years. Twenty thirty years. He's got a lot
of work to do over there. How old is she
She's younger than I am. She's probably in her forties.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
So she bought her house when she was fifteen.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Well, she was married and then they got divorced and
then he's bry next door. No, it's just her and
her three kids and five hundred bats.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I'm really, I'm going a dingong five hundred bats.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Anyway, that was the petty. That was the last petty
thing I did.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
That was that was petty.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I want to get you on us, Tomate. What's the
most disgusting thing you've ever put in your mouth or eaten?
Should I say eaten? You had to chew it and
swallow it?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
What was it most disgusting thing? My god, come on now,
probably the sky Dan No, I'm kidding, Holy shit, yep,
you're right about that. So Matthew like he doesn't get
New York. Like, when you're in New York, there's like
a niche thing for everything you want to screw. You
can't just go to Home Deep, but you got to
go to the screw store, which has five thousand fucking screws.
(25:14):
Same thing with the restaurants, so like, not every restaurant
is gonna have a hot dog, hamburger, chicken, you know
what I mean, it's gonna have a niche thing. So
we're walking, we going to this restaurant. They bring out
this clam clip and I don't know if I can
say that, but I did so quick you can edit
it out. It's a clam I'm not saying the word.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
So it's not an oyster, it's a plan thing.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
But what was on it's a clam. It was like beaten,
you know, because there's so some.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
A charred beat with a caviar caviar.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
And a clam hoover cooder is a clam coonter right,
exactly what I am?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Like a coal hog? It was oh yeah, now twenty
six dollars one dye.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
They're like, oh so it's been dipped in mud an
age for thirty six years in the back out?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Who ordered that?
Speaker 3 (26:14):
This fucker? Sorry, I like the whine is really actually
turning me into a dirty mouth. I'm sorry. PG.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
So your Matthew ordered it, ordered.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
The clam cooters because why Matthew?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Just because he was not, okay.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It's one bite, you should really have two for this.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Oh so he ordered it and he didn't realize it.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Was take this lesbian right in her cooter for making
order that.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
But was it disgusting when you ate it?
Speaker 3 (26:42):
You put it in and it was grosses?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Okay, do you guys like oysters?
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Okay, No, I'm just saying it sounds like it's probably
was a clam, which is like a raw clam.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
No it was no, no, no, no, it just the cooter was
the vessel. The cooter was the vessel. Okay, the kudo
was the decoration to bring us over the beaten down
goddamn vegan.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
That is disgusting.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
What's the crossest thing you put in your mouth?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
So six Flags New England came into the radio station
one year and they had it. Was right around Halloween.
They're like, we want to see if anybody will eat
a hissing cockroach.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
You did not, You're not helping the rum. No.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I was there, you know, in the studio with a
bunch of men and they were all freaking out and screaming,
and I took a hissing cockroach, giant brown cockroach, and
stuck it my mouth and I chewed it and I
swallowed it, and I'll tell you what it tasted like.
It tasted like saran wraps stuffed with cottage cheese. It
(27:46):
was the most plastic it was. It tasted more like
plastic with a cottage cheese filling.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
I have a really bad guy like I'm like like actually,
like I'm tearing it.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
We bet money and that's the only reason I did it.
But I ate it. Hissing cock croach.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Okay, six Flags? Wait, do you remember that rumor that
you hooked up with the old man that did the
six Flags commercials? No, but he was creepy. Did you
meet him? No?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I have not met him.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, creepy. I don't old creepy man from six Flags.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
He was like the fear in her eyes when I
said that, She's like, did I No? He was bald yes,
with glasses.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Yes, and very scary looking.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
You know, I've talked about this before on the podcast,
but I'm pissed at your station. We're not doing the
summer kickoff concerts anymore?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
I know.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Is there no talk about it?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
There isn't No.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Have you brought it up?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
No?
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Why Courney, that was the coolest thing.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
You were like, Beyonce, No, they just don't do it anymore.
I think it's a six Flags thing. I think what
happened was, Okay, there's other the world turned crazy and
everybody's suing everybody, so nobody wants to do anything that
wouldn't you know, involve like large crowds and celebrities.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Has that been a conversation? So I think that you've
heard rumor about that. No, I don't know that. I
want to know, like the world, I don't know. Oh,
she is so good at lying right through her.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Don't know why we haven't done the summer key.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
We should literally call this the lying dead. We just
lie to each other. Drink all right, I get.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
One more question than we need to eat our shrimp cocktail.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Okay, okay, in the have you ever downloaded a dating
app recently and then deleted it in the last year?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well, you told me bumble bff was a lesbian.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Yeah, I'm saying like one like where there's men on it. No, okay,
so you want to do that tonight.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Listen. I have been on e Harmony match, millionaire match,
I know, I've been on a lot that was before.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Wait, what's millionaire match?
Speaker 2 (29:49):
When you want to meet a millionaire? And one millionaire
reached out to me and it was he was like
nine hundred years old.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
Good, then you don't have to do anything. And this
goddamn a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
So we're talking like twenty years ago. I went on
all these I haven't been on any dating apps in
like twenty years.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
This, okay, well we have to change that.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
But what are we going to go on tell me
what I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
No, I'm telling you right now. I think we're gonna
try hinge yep, hinge and bumble okay, and then I
think maybe Facebook dating too. There's a Facebook day, there's
like a dating Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Are these things you're telling me to download just for
like sex? Or am I going to?
Speaker 3 (30:28):
No? No, no no. If that was I would tell
you to down the Grinder.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
It's like, okay, yeah, Grinder's game.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
I don't want Why do you know what grinder is?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I do know what Grinder is? I don't know because
I know them all.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I've literally been one grinders.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Say Hi, what's up Grinder party?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
If you download a Grinder, all the games go crazy,
that'd be funny.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Wait is Grinder just for just days?
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Like back door access on the Okay?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
No, I can't.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Can I tell you a really scary sorry about old
men and dating super quick?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
But is this because I'm going to be dating old men?
Speaker 3 (30:56):
No? Just reminded me when you said the nine year
old man. Okay, so we have a client the sawn
I show. You know this fucking happened the other night. Sorry,
I keep saying that's okay. We can say, Okay. The
other night I was on the phone with you at work.
We have a client and she has a sugar daddy.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Okay but perfect.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
She doesn't do anything with the sugar didy sexually. He
gets off by getting.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Berated and you're yelling at him.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Talking down. So he comes and swipes the card for
the product and all that. She gets her head on
once a week whatever she wants, and he'll come. She'll
come and get your card out. Courtney gets worse there
like this, she's there, this old man's are wearing a
Yukon hat. Get your card out. Come on. They want
(31:42):
us to pay. Why aren't you paying? God, you're so
old like that. So I'm outside on the phone with
Matthew the other night she comes out of the lawn
and you know when you have like tunnel hearing where
you're like, oh my god, like I hear this. She's going,
come on, bitch, open my door. Why are you being
such a bitch. You're so slow dum and then literally
goes you want me to open the door. Yeah, bitch,
(32:03):
I didn't. Did I start her? Come on, bitch, we're
going to get gas. Bitch right now, close my door, bitch,
follow me in my car like talking like that.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Okay, but see now I hurt for him.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
No, he loves it.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
So you think he loves this. He wants to be
treated like that.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
He's paying her to talk to her like this, paying her.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
We'll give him my number.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Bitchy, I've never I'm I'm gonna jump over. What's in
that bucket? What is that thing?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (32:34):
What thing? The orange thing that's very biscuous?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Oh, that is my Now you're gonna call me a lesbian.
That's my patch kit for my paddle board. Okay, I
have a big bucket off camera, and it's got my
paddle board and my paddles, and it's got my life vest.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
And that's a couple of pictures of them.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
But you're looking at the orange thing because it's shaped
like a penis.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Yeah, I didn't know, like what you do with that.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
That's a patch kit in case I get a hole
on my paddle board.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
She's prepared, ladies, gentlemen, She's prepared, gentleman. That's what I meant.
That's what I meant.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
So I gotta just tell you before we wrap it up.
There is and I forget which day it is. I
have it in here somewhere, but there is a national
online dating day okay for one of our podcasts. Okay,
so if we don't sign me up now right because
you want me to sign up on a day night tonight,
it's either going to be the next one or the
(33:26):
one after. It's coming up. It's in May, okay, so
it's this month. You need to think about it because
I feel like I should do Rayah.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Oh you can do? You have an account on Ryah?
Speaker 2 (33:37):
How do well? Do you have to sign up Riya?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
They but they back, so you'll get in because you
have the followers and your like you're famous, so like
you have the thing.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
I feel like, I is that Rya tell me to
do that, and that's what I should do.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
So Riya is a dating app for people who are
like influencers, celebrities like Jajob Courtney. You forget who you
are and I'm here to remind you You're Courtney and
kissing in the morning.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Don't know if I could do that?
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Everyone I say, oh do you know Courtney? Because oh
my god, they know you. You would get on in
a second.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Okay, So to.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Get it, We're gonna get you on our.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Podcast that is going to be airing on the fourteenth.
It is National Online Romance Day, okay, and it's the
official day where you need to sign up online to
find your love.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I just think it's time for you to get the
paddle board out and find your lady.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
We're gonna do it. You help me fill it out,
we'll fill it out together.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
We're gonna do it. I think that'd be a fun
just YouTube video, even if if it wasn't a podcast episode.
So people are driving to work and we're not like,
look at this, No, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, that is coming up, ladies,
don't forget as we wrap it up. This is our
big giveaway. This is our big basket of our favorite things,
all my favorite things. The baseball hat, the salmon sperm. Yep,
you got Miles, who's the best hairdresser on the planet.
All of his favorite hair products are in here. If
you want to win this basket, check us out on
Instagram the cougar Den podcast on Instagram and you will
(35:07):
find out how to enter to win this.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Absolutely, this was fun. I'm happy to be back.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Happy to be back. We are officially now in the
original Cougar Den. We're back a garage with mice and
spiders and bats.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
But whatever, and Courtney, we started this in January. It's
may I know. This was our first summer in the den.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
We literally did one podcast in the garage but everybody
was too cold. But now we're back.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
Well we had a bitch You team then. Anyways, we're back.
Love it. That's it all right, ladies, cheers.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Hit us up on Instagram, you can watch us on YouTube,
you can check us out on TikTok and so much more.
But make sure you reach out to us, let us
know what you want us to talk about, and we
love you.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.