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June 1, 2025 27 mins

As a young boy, Frank Rojas watched his older sister shine at her quinceañera. He secretly longed for a celebration of his own, but knew that these coming of age parties were only for girls.

Now, two decades later, the culture has changed and more boys are having their own quiceañeros. So Frank is throwing himself a double quince on his 30th birthday. On his own terms, but not without hesitation.

Come to Frank’s party to celebrate his big day. A day when he will be unapologetically queer, when he’ll blend his queer family with his blood family, and when he’ll get his own sparkle.

Latino USA is the longest-running news and culture radio program in the U.S., centering Latino stories and hosted by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Maria Hinojosa. 

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Warning to our listeners. This episode includes some explicit language,
so be prepared. Frank Rojas was eleven years old when
his older sister Lauda had her quinzianera.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
She was a little bougie.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
We did the whole church she had, like the big
hall Quinsanetra.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
He vividly remembers watching his sister in her beautiful green dress,
the hair, the makeup.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Wow, this is exciting.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Everyone showering her with love during this write of passage
celebrated by a lot of Latinas, mostly Mexican and Mexican American.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
When they turned fifteen.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
As a young boy, I just knew that it was
for girls, and it was kind of like this like
literal transition into womanhood. I remember of being part of
like the planning process with her going downtown La to
the Kahonas to like look at dresses, and we're going
like to a hair salon and guardina so that she
could try out her hair.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
And that's the thing about Kineses, these parties, they go hard,
they are productions, and there's also a strong religious element
to them. It's a very big deal for the entire.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Family, seeing relatives that traveled all the way from like Sinaloa,
from Bakersfield, from Arizona, from la and to see them
all dressed up for like.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
For me, it was like for my sister and like a.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
True little brother.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Fourth grader, Frank.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Was all over the place at the party, like a mess,
like sweaty. I was running around with cousins.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
But even at that age, he knew he wasn't like
the other boys, that maybe he was gay.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
I remember I was obsessed with Hillary Duff and having
the CD with me at the hall, and I remember
like going through the booklet with like my cousin Natalie,
who was also a big fan at the time, like
the Mexican like the loud banda music was playing and
I remember hiding it in like my and my suit jacket.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
His immediate family made him feel okay, but things didn't
feel safe all the time.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
It wasn't like let me like partake in this in
front of everyone.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Frank felt that he had to hide certain parts of himself.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Even had like an uncle that lived with us from Sinaloa,
and I remember my sister she had this like pink
Hillow kitty boombox and like listening to it, and I
remember that uncle, like walking in and being like, boys
don't listen to that. You shouldn't be listening to that.
And then I remember that was like the first instance
of like I can enjoy these things, but I have
to be really really low key and quiet about it.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
It's moments like this that made Frank retract, and he
thought about how much he secretly had wanted this sparkle
that his sister had gotten at Hurricane Sianira.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
I guess I just grew up with knowing that like
that wasn't going to be a reality.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Guen Sennetta's were not for boys, not straight boys, not
queer boys like Frank. Then, almost twenty years later, Frank
goes to another Guen Senet and this one really impacts him.
It was for his cousin Tito. It was at this

(03:22):
Guen Sanette that Frank saw a teenage boy being celebrated
like this, a straight teenage boy getting a guin Sannero.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Wow, like all these things that I was afraid of.
No one was like even caring what they were at
my boy cousins Kan say like they were just eating
their food, they were catching up with family, they were
dressed to impress, and that was it.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's clear that the culture has changed. Boys having gienses
is not out of the question anymore. In fact, The
New York Times recently did a big cover story about
this trend, the Guen Sanneiro's So now, as an adult,
Frank has decided he's throwing himself the quintangneta that he
always wanted, but it's going to be a little different.

(04:09):
It's actually a double ginze, a double fifteen. Frank's coming
of age party is happening as he's turning thirty, and
now all of Frank's family will be coming to watch
him slow dance on the dance floor with his boyfriend,

(04:30):
and that doesn't come to him without a little hesitation. Still,
Frank wants to have this party where he can be
unapologetically queer, where he'll be merging his queer family and
his extended blood family together for the first time in
a very public but also intimate way.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
I just want to tell him, they are moamore and
you mean the world to me and you're very special.

Speaker 5 (04:58):
When he first told me that he wanted to have
a double kins, I was a little like taken aback
because it's not I don't want to say Mormon, but
like normally in this culture right.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
From Pudro Media and r X. It's Latino USA. I'm
Maria Jojosa. Today we're taking you to Frank's Double Quinse.
Now I'm going to pass the mic over to Frank himself.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
So I grew up in the South Bay in the
city of Gardena, which we call the Freeway City because
all the freeways kind of meet there in the middle.
I always joked that, like I sleep in Guardina and
but like I'm always out and about different parts of
La So my parents were always very hard workers. My
mom grew up picking fields in the small farming town
of Delano in the Central Valley, California and ended up

(06:15):
becoming a nurse, an orthopedic nurse. And then my dad
came to the States and documented at around ten years
old from Sinaloa and ended up becoming a civil engineer.
I would see them and I would enjoy them, but
like I was always around these two va heat That's
who I always talk about, my yeah, yeah, and my home.
So I always joked that I was a senora at

(06:36):
like twelve years old. Once I grew older into high school,
you start learning about yourself. Like all my friends having
girlfriends the prom, always going with the girl, which I
always I always took the most beautiful girls. You know,
I was still gay at the end of the day.
I remember making peace with like, okay, like I'm not

(06:58):
I'm not gonna like be the guy. But that wasn't
even even crossed my line, like I'm gonna marry a
girl and make peace with that. I can't be myself.
I have to navigate it secretively. It was heard growing
up in the closet, especially, you know, thinking of growing
up in a super Mexican household in a traditional sense
of that.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
When I ultimately came out, I was twenty two. My
sister was home.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
And I remember going into her room and telling her
I'm gay, like those words left my mouth, and crying
with her, and she's crying with me, and she's like
supporting me, and then my mom's crying. She's like, I
love you so much. My Dad's like, I love you, dude.
My dad's a man. A few words, but he shows
it through his love through actions. And then slowly I

(07:47):
started coming out to friends. To one of my other
good friends, Jlyissa.

Speaker 6 (07:52):
Frank and I met in college before he was out.
We went to his first pride together him and I like,
I've seen him through so many phases of this journey
and just really blossom and become himself more and more
and more as the years have gone on.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
And so we would joke they would have a double
like kinsa that both of us like, I don't know
where that joke came from, Like around my twenty ninth birthday,
so a year before turning thirty is like when I
started revisiting that, Like, wait, like what would that look like?

Speaker 6 (08:21):
We all have different points in our life where we
are coming into ourselves and figuring ourselves out that very
rarely happens when you are fifteen. And for him to
be doing this and honoring that moment and also doing
this with his family and kind of taking a really
old tradition that is very typically connected to religion as

(08:45):
well and Catholicism. I think when you're a queer person,
you have so many different ideas of what family is.
I think for a long time, when you're figuring out
who you are, you think that you have to do
that in different silos, and I think eventually there comes
a time where you become so comfortable with yourself that

(09:07):
those silos can kind of break down, and those walls
can kind of break down, and you look around and
it's just like this is all your life.

Speaker 5 (09:13):
My name is Laura and I am Frank's older sister,
only sister.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
I remember, like my sister. She's like, you owe it
to yourself to have this party. She was just like,
think of like all those times that like you really
wanted to do something and you like chicken out or
you had to be low key.

Speaker 5 (09:32):
When he first told me that he wanted to have
a double kinse, I was a little like taken aback,
I guess just because it's not I don't want to
say normal, but like normally in this culture, right, And
I had never heard of one, let alone, you know,
for a game man. And then as he started talking

(09:52):
about it more, I'm like, you know what, Yeah, it's
like the ultimate coming out and it's good that you're
celebrating something like that.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
So yeah, I think it was time for me to
throw this party to celebrate who I am and experience
what I didn't get to experience at fifteen. I think
when I was fifteen, I wouldn't have been ready to
have this party.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
I think I would have had it but it wouldn't have.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Been I think, as honest as where I'm at right now.
I think now that I'm thirty, it made a lot
more sense. So it's now the night before my big party,
and I'm not gonna lie. I'm feeling a bit nervous.

(10:41):
It's my family also seeing for the first time, like
my gay family, they're accepting. It's just I've never been
so forward about my sexual identity in that kind of way.
It's part of like taking ownership of it. So I'm
a little nervous about that.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
We're when I have a drag queen. So I'm ready.
I'm ready.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
I'm scared, but that's still not going to stop me
of like being ready. Like gwen Sefani said, take a chance,
he's stupid. Ho.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
When we come back, we take you to the night
of Frank's double Kinse.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Stay with us.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yes, Hey, we're back, and today is the big day.
It's Frank Rojas double Kinse, the Quinzianira he wished he

(11:47):
had had when he turned fifteen, but he's having it
on his thirtieth birthday, his double QUINSANEA. All right, I'm
going to pass the mic back to Frank, so he
can take us to the party.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Okay, So it is the day of my party.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Everyone is on their way. I saw the New York
Case and all life. They are so annoying for that.

Speaker 6 (12:11):
They were like we protested the Oh my godness, it.

Speaker 5 (12:25):
Is my mex friend.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
How seeing my friend Julyssa first seeing her mother and
her sibling and then seeing my idea one of my dias,
my my dad's sister show up to like people trinkling
in and like, okay, this is like happening. We met

(12:47):
this random little gable at a bar attacks and now
we're at his party in La. How does that make
you feel?

Speaker 7 (12:56):
I'll take it.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
And I had asked everyone to come out stylistically like
it's funny because I had people like, what do you
mean dress up? And I'm like, dress up, Like I
want to see people in dresses and suits or whatever
you want, whatever dressing up means to you. I just
don't want to see jeans and like a T shirt.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Let me see your suit.

Speaker 6 (13:27):
It looks so good.

Speaker 4 (13:28):
I love it.

Speaker 7 (13:29):
You could say I got a few tricks up my sleeve.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Though, And so the suit that I ended up wearing
was this like royal blue inspired but dazzled Juan Gabriel
suit with like these like silvery white sequence and dark
blues like sequence within like the collar of the suit,
like I wanted to keep it like flashy but simple,
and so I just paired it with like a white
button up, no like tie or anything, and black loafers.

(13:54):
Throughout the whole night, I was juggling my tekhana, my
black tekana, and my crown that I had also gotten,
which like this again, like this silver crown with like
the dazzled blue.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Jewels all over it.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
But I think the most important accessory for the night
was this gold bracelet that my sister had given me
when she got to the hall. It was my great
grandmother's bracelet. My great grandmother passed away a week before
the party, and we kind of already knew like two
weeks before that like her time was coming up. I

(14:27):
tried to cancel the party like twice, so emotions were
still like a little intense for my family and night.
But like my mother, my aunt, my Deolidia, like they
all like were like no, like you deserve this party.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
You deserve to just like she would have wanted this.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
My great grandmother signified so much you know, and that
bracelet is like this family heirloom that has such a story.
Back in the day in Sinaloa, she used to clean
the house of like this like very rich man and
they had like this forbidden love. It was in secret,
and so she ends up getting pregnant with this very

(15:04):
wealthy man with my grandfather, and they were never able
to be together. And so this man engraved my grandfather's
name and the date of his birth, and so that
bracelet she carried with her for her life until my
mother's Kinsgnera. And so sure enough, my sister got the

(15:25):
Pulzra this bracelet on her fifteenth and it stayed with
her since and carrying it was literally like having her
there with me. She would have been so like in
her pants suit, her hair would have been dyed cut
that like really like oddly specific Senora cut with her
clip on pearl earrings and her like little glass of

(15:48):
like tequilaalo was like her favorite and I could just
hear her call me Poppi. They're like Bapi mikho, like
the whole night when I not whena brasoaka, when that

(16:25):
is my good friend Ronnie. They're the unofficial high person
of the night, Frank, don't be shy girl, this is
your party. Ronnie hands me the mic and I'm feeling
a little calm now after they are little introduction and
I'm about to make a speech, and it feels rewarding

(16:45):
seeing everyone just cheering for me and clapping for me.
I stumble a bit with my English and my Spanish
getting mixed up, and I joke of being a kid,
but I just say to the entire room, thank you

(17:06):
for beings.

Speaker 7 (17:10):
Trea p.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
I say, boys don't have quincignas much less at thirty,
but I don't Careles this was gonna Jenny as he escaped,
with which I tell everyone that there will be a
couple of dances coming up, including el Vals, and that
Jenny Rivera will be following it up. Throughout the night,

(17:38):
I'm seeing friends singing along two songs. I'm seeing family
members dancing, and it just like reminds me of how
loved I am at the end of the day.

Speaker 5 (17:52):
Wow, this this Frank now stepping into his thirties, is,
I want to say, not a completely different person, but
there's just definitely more layers to this person.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
I have to say, it was pretty rewarding to have
my own sister and my King Sennetta, only because I
was a part of hers and to have her be
a part of it as we're both adults now felt
so special.

Speaker 5 (18:20):
So now that he's just going into it, I'm so
extremely happy for him because I know there's that sometimes
that doubt, perhaps in the hesitation, probably what he was
experiencing coming and you know, putting this whole thing together.
But now there's more confidence, more more security and who
he is.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
One of the more special moments is when I dance
with my mom in front of everyone. I chose for
us to dance to a cover of Angel Baby by
Jenny ri Vera, and it's a mixture of the first
half of the song is in English and then in

(19:01):
the second half we get into the Spanish part and
it's all set to fand the music, and I think
just the mixture of having English and Spanish and banda,
it really encapsulates how I live my life as someone
that is Mexican American as navigating various identities, not just

(19:26):
my queer identity. And Jenny is the reason my mom
and I bond so much.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
My mom means the world to me.

Speaker 4 (19:38):
Today is a beautiful day for his double quince. I'm
seeing inside is like all these hearts.

Speaker 8 (19:47):
Popping up and just raise and sunshine, and especially if
flowers blow me okay through I still see my baby Punky.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
I SeeMe as my little boy. I just want to
tell him they are and you need the world to
meet and you're very special and I love you unconditionally
and I love you who you are.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
It wouldn't be a consign without great food.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
We had via Fricspercos that like classic cold spaghetti pasta
with like the hosbits of like ham in it. While
people were eating, I played a video for everyone to
watch on a projector. I did this like thirteen minute

(20:50):
presentation of pictures and videos, and I set it to
Lana Dlay's Ride the music video because there's a monologue in.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
It fast.

Speaker 7 (21:02):
Dim be wild, have.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Fun, which if you know, you.

Speaker 7 (21:11):
Know, have you created a life for yourself or you
can experience them I have.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
I am fucking gracing and I am free.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
To me. It's like this very like it's a song
that's very like I think, emblematic for the gay community
and like I don't know, I made a meaning out
of it, and you know, putting pictures of families of
friends of my gay friends. There's a whole slide like
of me with my boyfriend and like a picture of
us kissing and like a friend of like you know,
my relatives. They were like yeah, like they were cheering,

(21:51):
which was nice. I even ended the presentation with Juan
Gabrielle's quote from premiering back to I believe for the
interview or literally just asked him like are you gay?

(22:21):
And I remember seeing that interview and being so like
mesmerized by his response on including that clip in my
slideshow at the very end of him saying saying, like
what you see, you don't ask right, Like this party,
I don't have to explain myself. It's a beautiful thing.

(22:41):
And then Jenny Jenny Rivera, I got a Jenny Riveda
drag queen rivals. Some gays have Lady Gaga. I have
Hillary Duff and Jenny Rivera. It's an interesting mix. But
Jenny Deveda, for me, represents so much.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Of what it means to be a queer man.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
That energy that she carried like I don't care, I'm
gonna make it BIGGD and these spaces that I'm not
supposed to do I'm gonna be unapologetically myself.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
And it was a blast.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
My aunt, who flew in from Sinaloa, so my great
grandmother's sister, was the first time seeing a drag show,
the first time like other family members had seen a
drag show. They were asking me, like what do I
do with the dollar bills? Or like you know, like
it was all wholesome, great fun. Jenny put on a

(23:44):
show and she lip synced and performed her ass off
before it was time to go, comparing as a night
came to an end and we were preparing to leave
the big Gwit Hall. I said goodbye to a lot
of my family and friends, and I was super excited

(24:06):
because a lot of them were telling me they had
like such a blast the entire night. The younger version
of me would have never have been able to see
this party come to real life or to play out
the way that it did, mostly because I look back

(24:28):
at who I was for the longest time, you know,
hiding certain parts of who I am, sectioning off parts
of my identity. This might be a little bit of
a cliche, but if I could go back in time,
say fifteen years ago, I think I would tell that
younger version of Frank, You're so lucky to have this position.

(24:49):
This isn't every queer person's experience. This party, to me
kind of is revolutionary in a way. We're living in
a time where trans rights and queer rights and in
gay rights are all attacked. The Latin No LATINX communities
being attacked. I had friends that are undocumented that were
like afraid to even drive because of like the ice
rates that have been happening, right, And so I would

(25:11):
tell Bonky at my party, like, you know, just have
one drink because you're fifteen, but like, have what a
sip of tequila soda, get your dollar.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Bills and enjoy, Jenny, and enjoy.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Enjoy these people that love you so much, that like,
because they love you so much, love yourself as much
as they love you.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
That was Frank Rosas.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
This episode was produced by Renaldo Leanos Junior. It was
edited by our managing editor Fernanda Echavari, and it was
mixed by JJ Carubin. The Latino USA team also includes
Roxana Guire, Julia Caruso, Jessica Ellis, Victoria Estrada, Dominique Inestrosa,
Stephanie Lebau, Andrea Lopez Gruzado, Luis Luna, Julieta Martinelli, Marta Martinez,

(26:19):
Monica Morales, Garcia, JJ Carubin, Tasha Sandoval, Nour Saudi and
Nancy Trujillo, Benilei, Ramrez, Maria Garcia and I are co
executive producers and I'm your host, Mario Posa.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Join us again on our next episode.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
In the meantime, I'll see you on social media and
remember always and forever Noteva Yes.

Speaker 5 (26:45):
Latino USA is made possible in part by Public Welfare Foundation,
catalyzing transformative approaches to justice that are community led, restorative,
and racially just.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Skyline Foundation

Speaker 5 (27:00):
Funding for Latino USA's coverage of a Culture of Health
is made possible in part by a grant from the
Robert Wood Johnson Foundation
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