Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, this is Nick from Rockville.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, yes, Nick, what can I do for you? You're
on dating?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yeah, Well I actually it's a little more complicated than that.
I was on Bumble. I met my current girlfriend on
Bumble about a year ago and we're still together, which
is great. So I love the app. I think it's
really good. But I'm running an account for one of
my friends who needs help dating, so I am kind
(00:27):
of on there.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Oh he did he ask for your help or did
you just step in and be like, listen, you suck
at this, let me help you.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Initially I kind of stepped in, but I think we've
gotten a few matches a little bit of success, so
I think he's kind of down with that.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I told Jen with no hair on her butthole that
I would run her account.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Are you are you letting your current girlfriend help with
this account?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well? I mean sometimes.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I do not privately run this friends want to cauot
friends account.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Hey, so let me ask you about a secret. Here's
here's here's.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The question that I had, and they they they specify
Bumble right, and again I'm not on any of the
dating sites or dating apps, right, So they were saying, so,
if you like, let's say you block somebody on on
on any of the dating apps, what is the Is
(01:26):
it common or does it happen where you get matched
up with them again?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
No, I wouldn't say so. I mean sometimes I find
myself running into the same people over and over because
when you make your account for the first time, you're like,
you know, you're the hot product on the street. Everybody
sees you. But after you have the app for a while, No,
but you're not. You're not going to get as many matches.
And so sometimes people delete their profile and then make
(01:56):
another profile using like the same pictures. So if you
did block somebody, that would be one way you would
see another that person again.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
If they read if they made themselves brand new again.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So Bumble is getting a lot of kickback because now
they are just like, there are so many people on
Bumble that are saying and not because they deleted or
anything with their account. They were like I blocked that
person right for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I don't know why people block each other, but they
blocked for whatever reason, they're getting matched back up again.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
And Bumble is like.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Yeah, problem with the algorithm.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
The no, no, and at first they said did did
you did somebody delete their account or something like that,
like going through all those steps and it turns out
it's no, And they've just come around and said, yeah,
you know what, it happens.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
So it's not a technical problem.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
No, not at all, No, just it happens.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, but people are weird because I mean they're matching
with them again, so they must like them right in
some kind of way, even though they blocked them.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
How would you block someone that you maybe did go
out on a date with.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, you could do that, or somebody that you interacted
with and you were like, I'm blocking them, or just
somebody you thought was creepy and you were like And
that's where people are like, hey, I blocked this person
for a reason, yeah, and now why am I? Why
am I being matched with them again? Because don't a
lot of them don't A lot of them try to
say that once you block someone, you're done with them,
(03:25):
like you don't have to worry about interacting with them again.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah. It tries to make it feel like it feel safe.
I guess in case it is like a creep like
you were saying, yeah, like.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
In your case, you don't know it could be some
be some crazy girl.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, absolutely, if they have. They do have a few
things on there to like vet people to make sure
that they're not, you know, pretending like somebody pretending to
be like cat fishing or yeah, sure, something like that.
But no, I haven't heard about this this issue before,
but it seems like if you had to block someone
(04:00):
for a really serious reason, it seems like it could
be kind of freakyd to see them again.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
I'm looking for the I'm looking for they were.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
They released a statement about it, and it started and
people flipped out.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
And Bumble just last year started letting men message first right.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Correct, correct, that's what I read and using the I
run a couple of accounts for friends.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Guess for people who maybe haven't been in the game
for a while. Bumble used to just be where the
women had accept right then, Yeah, the message to the man.
But now it's equal opportunity.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yes, that is true. That is true, at least according
to this thing. Hey, thank you sir, and congrats on
it being successful for you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
You got it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
If you're seeing a profile you previously blocked, this would
be because this member has created a new account. We've
heard that, right, Like, that's what he just said, So
now you're the fresh thing. There are no automatic punishments
or shadow bands for deleting and recreating your Bumble profile,
though it warns that this can lead to a user
being mistaken for spam or a bot, and people who
(05:11):
do that run the risk of being blocked from Bumble permanently.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
These are not new accounts.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I know this because I tested this theory by logging
off and then so this person went all the way
around it said, I would like to clarify you should
not be seeing someone you had previously hidden or blocked,
and the information shared with you previously was inaccurate, So.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's hiding and blocked. Are those separate things that I.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Don't know?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Is it tough too, because some of this terminology maybe
different based on Based on that, You're like, if you
see someone's profile and you're like, absolutely not, do you
block that person or you just skip over them?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I would just skip over them. I mean at some
point you may cycle back and go.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well, maybe I was too harsh like blocking. I totally
understand the safety angle, But does blocking also help with
some sort of algorithm?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Probably? Probably if they were like, I'm not dating lefties?
Then yeah, maybe.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
What is the number one reason for blocking creep creep creep?
Based on a photo or based on like harassment.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
I don't want to say harassment.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I was like, that's somebody that's just but like somebody
was like, hey, I want to make this soft taco.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
I'm saying like, it's probably it's somebody you've had an
interaction with alien, right, be it in person or just
like private messaging.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Yeah, yeah, it could be.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, I don't know. Like I said, I'm not on
them it's like overtly sexual messaging or just rude well
that too.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, I mean it doesn't have to be sexual. I
mean mine would be, but they don't have to be.
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Line seven, Hi Elliot in the morning, Hi Elliott, this joke.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Hey Joe, what's going on dude?
Speaker 7 (07:09):
Hey, not much, man, I I'm on both bumble and hinge,
So my understanding.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I think.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
So the difference between I think blocking and swiping left.
If you see someone you're just like not really interested,
swipe left. But I guess if someone is like being
like harassment or saying inappropriate things, you can straight up
block them. But yeah, I mean I like, if you
swipe left and your mileage range is small enough, you're
(07:35):
gonna find that that person's going to pop up again, right,
But I don't know about blocking.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
If they pop up again, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
By the way Bumble said, we will show you people
that you have swiped left or blocked on in the
past in case you have changed your mind.
Speaker 7 (07:49):
That's I'm yeah, I'm not changing my mind.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, I understand why people are up there.
Speaker 8 (07:55):
That's where people lost their mind.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Well maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
Yeah, I mean I'm in Fairfax Townty, so like I
only set my profile range to like sixteen miles because
that's getting into DC. But like, yeah, I mean after
a while you use it the same, some.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
People are going to pop up again.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Yeah, no, I get that. Yeah, Yeah, there's so many
fish in the pond.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
That's a different one exactly.
Speaker 6 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (08:23):
And the thing about Bumble, now you can like as
a guy.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
It used to be the women have.
Speaker 7 (08:29):
To message you first. If they don't message you in
twenty four hours, you disappear from their profile and they disappear.
But now you can like send like a compliment, I guess,
And so I can send like a compliment on their profile,
and they'll see that and then they can react that.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 7 (08:48):
I just I just downloaded it. I don't know if
I'm going to keep it. I'm just yeah, yeah, I
work too much to really pay attention.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Now, Yeah, well you cut back on work and get
go out, you know what I mean? All right, very good,
very good. By the way, Diane says she blocked. But
that's okay, I'm gonna put We're gonna yeah, exactly, and
maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So I'm looking through their help feature on their website
and the next step looks like you can report them.
So there's hiding there is. Let's see what else hide
and report? And then I guess is it just hide?
(09:31):
I don't even see the word block on this fah page?
But reporting this bumble? Then say they're gonna look into
what happened or what's in the profile?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
How would you do that? There's so many people you
couldn't look into all of them.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
And then what's unmatched is that if maybe we were
together help that I don't understand how this works.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Well no, but maybe you were to get unmatched to
me means like you were matched you. You you chated
a little bit, maybe even went out, and then it.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
Was like, now this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
But instead of blocking them and getting rid of them,
you were just like, we're gonna unmatch.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
So it is unmatched. The first level of separating yourself
from somebody that you have come across on this website. Sure,
or can you just block a profile that pops up
even if you've never conversed with them?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
You can do whatever you want. The point is, bumble's
gonna just maybe you changed your mind. Here's Elliott again,
you know, the one who's.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
A nice Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Are you sure?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:27):
I'm sorry, you know, I was just complimenting.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I haven't been on a dating a while. Maybe I
was too harsh.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
No, what did they used to always say in the day,
if you walk into a room full of ugly people,
lower your standards.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Okay, yeah, maybe you prefer to shut down a conversation immediately.
We understand that everyone has very married their own way
of dealing with these things.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
Yeah, listen, it ain't for everybody or what this person's into.
This person is.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
It sounds like all of us would be miserable.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh I think honestly, I think. I hate to say it,
I think I would love it. I think I would
be obsessed with it.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
That's all you would do.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I mean, I tie up there, every single one of them.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Absolutely, I do think if I do think that if
I were single, Yeah, it would be poison in my hands.
Not a chance I would be. I would be swiping
for everybody.
Speaker 8 (11:31):
So bumble is a swipe left right. I thought that
was like just tender. I don't know, I'd I'd be
definitely swiping on that. And here's the word block. Now
I'm now I understand why people say it's so hard.
You just don't you to get through the terms of service.
You have to read pages and pages before.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
When you get to the data.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Once you're in, you know, once you're in, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
What does the interface look like?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I don't know. I've never used it, but have you
seen it?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Screenshot in an article?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I like her face, nice tiggles, compliment it.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Was my neck up. You're making an exception.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I could tell based on your shoulders that you're carrying
something there.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Line six. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what
the interface of any of them are. Hi Ellie at
the morning, Hi, is this me Hi, How are you.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Good. My name is Julie.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yes.
Speaker 9 (12:25):
I am not currently on a dating app since I
met my husband on one, But before when I was
on it, I was matched with someone. He seemed totally normal.
He was a chef, and we went on a couple
of dates. For some reason. We went back to my place.
We hooked up a little bit, nothing too much. But
(12:47):
before he came up, I was like, oh, can I
just check your driver's license before I took a picture
of it? Anyway, So like a couple of days past
and I'm talking to him, he's getting a little weird, like.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Weird in what way? Well, back up for a second.
Speaker 9 (13:02):
So he's getting a little controlling, but back.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Up for a second.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
So like you're like, hey, let's go back to my
apartment and he's like yeah. And you were like, yeah, first,
let me take a picture of your driver's license.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
He was like yeah, go ahead, sure.
Speaker 7 (13:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
And when you say you hooked up a little bit,
When you say you hooked up a little bit, wod you?
Speaker 5 (13:22):
What'd you do?
Speaker 9 (13:24):
We just made out second base?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
That was it?
Speaker 5 (13:26):
All right?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
So he he felt he felt booby and you rubbed
his groin outside of his.
Speaker 9 (13:31):
Pants, right, nothing more than that.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
All right, that's cool.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
Right.
Speaker 9 (13:37):
A few days go by, he's getting a little weird,
and I'm like, you know what, this isn't working right,
I'm not feeling it. So he's not. He's not about that.
So he starts calling me incessantly. I block his phone
called me from his friend's phone. I block his friend's number.
He's getting increasingly like kind of violent vocally and like
(13:58):
this is crazy. So he ended up calling me from
so many different numbers. But I ended up calling the police.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 9 (14:07):
When the police, yeah, it was really terrifying. And when
the police came, he was like, hey, let me see
that ID. So it turns out that this guy had
recently been released for prison for eleven years because he
had been arrested for an armed bank robbery.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Oh my god, dude.
Speaker 9 (14:31):
That's like, yeah, you should probably change your number and
think about getting ah, you know, like a cease and desist.
And I ended up having to move apartments just because uh,
oh my.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
God, that's horrible. Yeah, no, no, and so okay, perfect example.
I don't mean that, but like I'm sorry you went
through that, right, like that nobody should go through that.
But like there's a perfect example where if you were
like I had to move, I had to change my number.
God knows, I blocked him on on whatever the dating
app was. Why would Bumble then go, oh, you know what,
we put you two together again. Maybe you've changed your mind,
(15:07):
like they shouldn't put somebody through that.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
You're the perfect example of that.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (15:13):
I would be pretty upset if if he showed up
again in my algorithm.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Yeah. Sure.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, but now you said, let's end on a good note.
You did say you met your husband there.
Speaker 6 (15:24):
I did.
Speaker 9 (15:25):
Yep, I met my husband there and we've been together.
Speaker 6 (15:29):
Almost eight years.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Good, excellent, excellent. All right, very good, very good. I
appreciate it. Thank you. Yes, Tyler, did you.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Hang up on her?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Oh h there was a message from Instagram that said,
ask her about the burned Haystack method.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Burned Haystack, I will do that.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
That encourages the blocking of profiles, so the algorithm delivers
the right needle. This was the problem with bumbles bs
with their response to the blocking, because people are trying
to stay not just hopeful but also safe.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So in this in this thing that I was reading
about Bumble, right, it says last week Jenny Young, who's
a professor at the University of Wisconsin Green Bay specializes
in rhetoric and gender studies, shared a curious email from
Bumble support staff, which goes on and talks about, you know,
the the what their excuse and everything was.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
Now.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I don't know if she listens at the university, but
is this Jenny Young?
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Jenny, Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 6 (16:36):
I'm good?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
How are you good?
Speaker 5 (16:38):
How are you finding me good?
Speaker 6 (16:42):
I I it sounds like you don't You're you're not
using a dating app. So there's some maybe confusion about
how some of these mechanims work. Mechanisms work or are
supposed to work. But here's my question.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
Yeah, okay, all right, very good.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
So yeah, no are you I'm assuming then you are
on dating apps.
Speaker 6 (17:06):
I am not currently at the moment because I've I've
just been too busy. But yeah, I've spent a lot
of time by dating. So this is the topic of my.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Research, right, and so what is the So this whole
story is about Bumble and talking about how like even
though you match with them, their new thing is like
or you you block them or hid from them. And
again I don't know what all the terminology is, but
it's like, oh, well, maybe maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
And I don't know how much, right, and I don't
know how much you hurt.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
But we just talked to a woman who she was like,
you know, she met this guy, they went out, they
hooked up once, and then the guy, the guy ended
up harassing her and harassing her and harassing her and
harassing her to the point where she had to get
the police involved in all that. But then Bubble's response
can't be we thought maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Right now, it's a huge safety issue. It's also an
issue of consent, and it's also a lot of gas play,
like why would bumble have a black option if it
doesn't block people?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, that's a good point too, right, Hey, what is
the Sorry, Jenny, it's very rude.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
I know you're a professor, but I'm eating What is fine?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
What is that?
Speaker 5 (18:18):
What was the that somebody wanted us to ask about?
Speaker 6 (18:22):
What is that? It's a social media movement grounded in
feminism and applied rhetoric that basically serves as like a
system of cheat coats for women to navigate the dating apps.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Can I can I ask you this and and listen?
I think that's great, right, can it be used? But
can it be used by everybody?
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Yeah, it could be used by everybody. So we have
a private group on Facebook of about one hundred and
eighty thousand women.
Speaker 8 (18:53):
It's not that.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
Private, but definitely open to women. But there are Instagram
accounts that there's a substack and it's not blue Sky,
So I mean, yeah, men could certainly use this as well.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
Right, So what is the In all of your research,
what did you learn.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
About the blocking issues specifically or just in.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
General the blocking issues specifically?
Speaker 6 (19:20):
Well, I mean, we learned that the Bumble didn't understand
that no means no, which is a problem for a
dating app that builds itself as feminist. And then they
changed once we kind of broke cut story, they changed
their story a whole bunch of times. And now, I mean,
to Bumble's credit, they now seem to be suggesting that
(19:41):
they will honor blocks and I hope that's true.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
They should, all of them should.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Well absolutely right, of course, right, it seems crazy that
they wouldn't be so I mean, yeah, I mean, we
all need to pay attention, and you know, Bumble after
they're totally bananas anti celibacy campaign last year, which is
when everybody started calling them humble. Can't really afford to
(20:08):
alienate more women. So if nothing else, like, I think
they're going to pay attention to this just because they've
gotten so much bad press out of it.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
Hey, which one do you like?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Like you said that you that that that you're not
You're not on one currently, but you are a lot
in the press.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Which one do you like?
Speaker 6 (20:26):
I mean, they're all terrible, but I would say the
least terrible of the big ones right now, probably Bumble
and Hinge.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
Oh there you go.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah, that will show you how bad it must be,
the one that you just torched, one of the big ones.
Speaker 6 (20:46):
Yeah, no, that's true. You're right, I'm hilarious.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
All right, very good, very good. Thank you, miss University
of Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Speaker 6 (20:56):
Well, thank you, and thanks for covering the story.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
You got it. Talk to you later. Thank you. How
random is it now?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
But how defeating is to hear at the end? What
did you learn?
Speaker 6 (21:08):
Well?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
It is still the best one, you know.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
The one that hooked me back up with the prisoner again.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
All these things that we never had to deal with
yet
Hi, this is Nick from Rockville.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, yes, Nick, what can I do for you? You're
on dating?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yeah, Well I actually it's a little more complicated than that.
I was on Bumble. I met my current girlfriend on
Bumble about a year ago and we're still together, which
is great. So I love the app. I think it's
really good. But I'm running an account for one of
my friends who needs help dating, so I am kind
(00:27):
of on there.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Oh he did he ask for your help or did
you just step in and be like, listen, you suck
at this, let me help you.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Initially I kind of stepped in, but I think we've
gotten a few matches a little bit of success, so
I think he's kind of down with that.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I told Jen with no hair on her butthole that
I would run her account.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Are you are you letting your current girlfriend help with
this account?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Well? I mean sometimes.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I do not privately run this friends want to cauot
friends account.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Hey, so let me ask you about a secret. Here's
here's here's.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The question that I had, and they they they specify
Bumble right, and again I'm not on any of the
dating sites or dating apps, right, So they were saying, so,
if you like, let's say you block somebody on on
on any of the dating apps, what is the Is
(01:26):
it common or does it happen where you get matched
up with them again?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
No, I wouldn't say so. I mean sometimes I find
myself running into the same people over and over because
when you make your account for the first time, you're like,
you know, you're the hot product on the street. Everybody
sees you. But after you have the app for a while, No,
but you're not. You're not going to get as many matches.
And so sometimes people delete their profile and then make
(01:56):
another profile using like the same pictures. So if you
did block somebody, that would be one way you would
see another that person again.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
If they read if they made themselves brand new again.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So Bumble is getting a lot of kickback because now
they are just like, there are so many people on
Bumble that are saying and not because they deleted or
anything with their account. They were like I blocked that
person right for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I don't know why people block each other, but they
blocked for whatever reason, they're getting matched back up again.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
And Bumble is like.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Yeah, problem with the algorithm.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
The no, no, and at first they said did did
you did somebody delete their account or something like that,
like going through all those steps and it turns out
it's no, And they've just come around and said, yeah,
you know what, it happens.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
So it's not a technical problem.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
No, not at all, No, just it happens.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, but people are weird because I mean they're matching
with them again, so they must like them right in
some kind of way, even though they blocked them.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
How would you block someone that you maybe did go
out on a date with.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, you could do that, or somebody that you interacted
with and you were like, I'm blocking them, or just
somebody you thought was creepy and you were like And
that's where people are like, hey, I blocked this person
for a reason, yeah, and now why am I? Why
am I being matched with them again? Because don't a
lot of them don't A lot of them try to
say that once you block someone, you're done with them,
(03:25):
like you don't have to worry about interacting with them again.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Yeah. It tries to make it feel like it feel safe.
I guess in case it is like a creep like
you were saying, yeah, like.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
In your case, you don't know it could be some
be some crazy girl.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, absolutely, if they have. They do have a few
things on there to like vet people to make sure
that they're not, you know, pretending like somebody pretending to
be like cat fishing or yeah, sure, something like that.
But no, I haven't heard about this this issue before,
but it seems like if you had to block someone
(04:00):
for a really serious reason, it seems like it could
be kind of freakyd to see them again.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
I'm looking for the I'm looking for they were.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
They released a statement about it, and it started and
people flipped out.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
And Bumble just last year started letting men message first right.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Correct, correct, that's what I read and using the I
run a couple of accounts for friends.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Guess for people who maybe haven't been in the game
for a while. Bumble used to just be where the
women had accept right then, Yeah, the message to the man.
But now it's equal opportunity.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yes, that is true. That is true, at least according
to this thing. Hey, thank you sir, and congrats on
it being successful for you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
You got it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
If you're seeing a profile you previously blocked, this would
be because this member has created a new account. We've
heard that, right, Like, that's what he just said, So
now you're the fresh thing. There are no automatic punishments
or shadow bands for deleting and recreating your Bumble profile,
though it warns that this can lead to a user
being mistaken for spam or a bot, and people who
(05:11):
do that run the risk of being blocked from Bumble permanently.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
These are not new accounts.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I know this because I tested this theory by logging
off and then so this person went all the way
around it said, I would like to clarify you should
not be seeing someone you had previously hidden or blocked,
and the information shared with you previously was inaccurate, So.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's hiding and blocked. Are those separate things that I.
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Don't know?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Is it tough too, because some of this terminology maybe
different based on Based on that, You're like, if you
see someone's profile and you're like, absolutely not, do you
block that person or you just skip over them?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I would just skip over them. I mean at some
point you may cycle back and go.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well, maybe I was too harsh like blocking. I totally
understand the safety angle, But does blocking also help with
some sort of algorithm?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Probably? Probably if they were like, I'm not dating lefties?
Then yeah, maybe.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
What is the number one reason for blocking creep creep creep?
Based on a photo or based on like harassment.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
I don't want to say harassment.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I was like, that's somebody that's just but like somebody
was like, hey, I want to make this soft taco.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
I'm saying like, it's probably it's somebody you've had an
interaction with alien, right, be it in person or just
like private messaging.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
Yeah, yeah, it could be.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, I don't know. Like I said, I'm not on
them it's like overtly sexual messaging or just rude well
that too.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, I mean it doesn't have to be sexual. I
mean mine would be, but they don't have to be.
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Line seven, Hi Elliot in the morning, Hi Elliott, this joke.
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Hey Joe, what's going on dude?
Speaker 7 (07:09):
Hey, not much, man, I I'm on both bumble and hinge,
So my understanding.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I think.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
So the difference between I think blocking and swiping left.
If you see someone you're just like not really interested,
swipe left. But I guess if someone is like being
like harassment or saying inappropriate things, you can straight up
block them. But yeah, I mean I like, if you
swipe left and your mileage range is small enough, you're
(07:35):
gonna find that that person's going to pop up again, right,
But I don't know about blocking.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
If they pop up again, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
By the way Bumble said, we will show you people
that you have swiped left or blocked on in the
past in case you have changed your mind.
Speaker 7 (07:49):
That's I'm yeah, I'm not changing my mind.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, I understand why people are up there.
Speaker 8 (07:55):
That's where people lost their mind.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Well maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
Yeah, I mean I'm in Fairfax Townty, so like I
only set my profile range to like sixteen miles because
that's getting into DC. But like, yeah, I mean after
a while you use it the same, some.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
People are going to pop up again.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Yeah, no, I get that. Yeah, Yeah, there's so many
fish in the pond.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
That's a different one exactly.
Speaker 6 (08:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (08:23):
And the thing about Bumble, now you can like as
a guy.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
It used to be the women have.
Speaker 7 (08:29):
To message you first. If they don't message you in
twenty four hours, you disappear from their profile and they disappear.
But now you can like send like a compliment, I guess,
And so I can send like a compliment on their profile,
and they'll see that and then they can react that.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 7 (08:48):
I just I just downloaded it. I don't know if
I'm going to keep it. I'm just yeah, yeah, I
work too much to really pay attention.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Now, Yeah, well you cut back on work and get
go out, you know what I mean? All right, very good,
very good. By the way, Diane says she blocked. But
that's okay, I'm gonna put We're gonna yeah, exactly, and
maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So I'm looking through their help feature on their website
and the next step looks like you can report them.
So there's hiding there is. Let's see what else hide
and report? And then I guess is it just hide?
(09:31):
I don't even see the word block on this fah page?
But reporting this bumble? Then say they're gonna look into
what happened or what's in the profile?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
How would you do that? There's so many people you
couldn't look into all of them.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
And then what's unmatched is that if maybe we were
together help that I don't understand how this works.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Well no, but maybe you were to get unmatched to
me means like you were matched you. You you chated
a little bit, maybe even went out, and then it.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
Was like, now this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
But instead of blocking them and getting rid of them,
you were just like, we're gonna unmatch.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
So it is unmatched. The first level of separating yourself
from somebody that you have come across on this website. Sure,
or can you just block a profile that pops up
even if you've never conversed with them?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
You can do whatever you want. The point is, bumble's
gonna just maybe you changed your mind. Here's Elliott again,
you know, the one who's.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
A nice Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Are you sure?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:27):
I'm sorry, you know, I was just complimenting.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I haven't been on a dating a while. Maybe I
was too harsh.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
No, what did they used to always say in the day,
if you walk into a room full of ugly people,
lower your standards.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Okay, yeah, maybe you prefer to shut down a conversation immediately.
We understand that everyone has very married their own way
of dealing with these things.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
Yeah, listen, it ain't for everybody or what this person's into.
This person is.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
It sounds like all of us would be miserable.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh I think honestly, I think. I hate to say it,
I think I would love it. I think I would
be obsessed with it.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
That's all you would do.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I mean, I tie up there, every single one of them.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Absolutely, I do think if I do think that if
I were single, Yeah, it would be poison in my hands.
Not a chance I would be. I would be swiping
for everybody.
Speaker 8 (11:31):
So bumble is a swipe left right. I thought that
was like just tender. I don't know, I'd I'd be
definitely swiping on that. And here's the word block. Now
I'm now I understand why people say it's so hard.
You just don't you to get through the terms of service.
You have to read pages and pages before.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
When you get to the data.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Once you're in, you know, once you're in, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
What does the interface look like?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I don't know. I've never used it, but have you
seen it?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Screenshot in an article?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I like her face, nice tiggles, compliment it.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Was my neck up. You're making an exception.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I could tell based on your shoulders that you're carrying
something there.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
Line six. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what
the interface of any of them are. Hi Ellie at
the morning, Hi, is this me Hi, How are you.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Good. My name is Julie.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yes.
Speaker 9 (12:25):
I am not currently on a dating app since I
met my husband on one, But before when I was
on it, I was matched with someone. He seemed totally normal.
He was a chef, and we went on a couple
of dates. For some reason. We went back to my place.
We hooked up a little bit, nothing too much. But
(12:47):
before he came up, I was like, oh, can I
just check your driver's license before I took a picture
of it? Anyway, So like a couple of days past
and I'm talking to him, he's getting a little weird, like.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Weird in what way? Well, back up for a second.
Speaker 9 (13:02):
So he's getting a little controlling, but back.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Up for a second.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
So like you're like, hey, let's go back to my
apartment and he's like yeah. And you were like, yeah, first,
let me take a picture of your driver's license.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
He was like yeah, go ahead, sure.
Speaker 7 (13:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
And when you say you hooked up a little bit,
When you say you hooked up a little bit, wod you?
Speaker 5 (13:22):
What'd you do?
Speaker 9 (13:24):
We just made out second base?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
That was it?
Speaker 5 (13:26):
All right?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
So he he felt he felt booby and you rubbed
his groin outside of his.
Speaker 9 (13:31):
Pants, right, nothing more than that.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
All right, that's cool.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
Right.
Speaker 9 (13:37):
A few days go by, he's getting a little weird,
and I'm like, you know what, this isn't working right,
I'm not feeling it. So he's not. He's not about that.
So he starts calling me incessantly. I block his phone
called me from his friend's phone. I block his friend's number.
He's getting increasingly like kind of violent vocally and like
(13:58):
this is crazy. So he ended up calling me from
so many different numbers. But I ended up calling the police.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 9 (14:07):
When the police, yeah, it was really terrifying. And when
the police came, he was like, hey, let me see
that ID. So it turns out that this guy had
recently been released for prison for eleven years because he
had been arrested for an armed bank robbery.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Oh my god, dude.
Speaker 9 (14:31):
That's like, yeah, you should probably change your number and
think about getting ah, you know, like a cease and desist.
And I ended up having to move apartments just because uh,
oh my.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
God, that's horrible. Yeah, no, no, and so okay, perfect example.
I don't mean that, but like I'm sorry you went
through that, right, like that nobody should go through that.
But like there's a perfect example where if you were
like I had to move, I had to change my number.
God knows, I blocked him on on whatever the dating
app was. Why would Bumble then go, oh, you know what,
we put you two together again. Maybe you've changed your mind,
(15:07):
like they shouldn't put somebody through that.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
You're the perfect example of that.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (15:13):
I would be pretty upset if if he showed up
again in my algorithm.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Yeah. Sure.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, but now you said, let's end on a good note.
You did say you met your husband there.
Speaker 6 (15:24):
I did.
Speaker 9 (15:25):
Yep, I met my husband there and we've been together.
Speaker 6 (15:29):
Almost eight years.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
Good, excellent, excellent. All right, very good, very good. I
appreciate it. Thank you. Yes, Tyler, did you.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Hang up on her?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Oh h there was a message from Instagram that said,
ask her about the burned Haystack method.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Burned Haystack, I will do that.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
That encourages the blocking of profiles, so the algorithm delivers
the right needle. This was the problem with bumbles bs
with their response to the blocking, because people are trying
to stay not just hopeful but also safe.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So in this in this thing that I was reading
about Bumble, right, it says last week Jenny Young, who's
a professor at the University of Wisconsin Green Bay specializes
in rhetoric and gender studies, shared a curious email from
Bumble support staff, which goes on and talks about, you know,
the the what their excuse and everything was.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
Now.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I don't know if she listens at the university, but
is this Jenny Young?
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Jenny, Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 6 (16:36):
I'm good?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
How are you good?
Speaker 5 (16:38):
How are you finding me good?
Speaker 6 (16:42):
I I it sounds like you don't You're you're not
using a dating app. So there's some maybe confusion about
how some of these mechanims work. Mechanisms work or are
supposed to work. But here's my question.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
Yeah, okay, all right, very good.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
So yeah, no are you I'm assuming then you are
on dating apps.
Speaker 6 (17:06):
I am not currently at the moment because I've I've
just been too busy. But yeah, I've spent a lot
of time by dating. So this is the topic of my.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Research, right, and so what is the So this whole
story is about Bumble and talking about how like even
though you match with them, their new thing is like
or you you block them or hid from them. And
again I don't know what all the terminology is, but
it's like, oh, well, maybe maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
And I don't know how much, right, and I don't
know how much you hurt.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
But we just talked to a woman who she was like,
you know, she met this guy, they went out, they
hooked up once, and then the guy, the guy ended
up harassing her and harassing her and harassing her and
harassing her to the point where she had to get
the police involved in all that. But then Bubble's response
can't be we thought maybe you changed your mind.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Right now, it's a huge safety issue. It's also an
issue of consent, and it's also a lot of gas play,
like why would bumble have a black option if it
doesn't block people?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, that's a good point too, right, Hey, what is
the Sorry, Jenny, it's very rude.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
I know you're a professor, but I'm eating What is fine?
Speaker 3 (18:17):
What is that?
Speaker 5 (18:18):
What was the that somebody wanted us to ask about?
Speaker 6 (18:22):
What is that? It's a social media movement grounded in
feminism and applied rhetoric that basically serves as like a
system of cheat coats for women to navigate the dating apps.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Can I can I ask you this and and listen?
I think that's great, right, can it be used? But
can it be used by everybody?
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Yeah, it could be used by everybody. So we have
a private group on Facebook of about one hundred and
eighty thousand women.
Speaker 8 (18:53):
It's not that.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
Private, but definitely open to women. But there are Instagram
accounts that there's a substack and it's not blue Sky,
So I mean, yeah, men could certainly use this as well.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
Right, So what is the In all of your research,
what did you learn.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
About the blocking issues specifically or just in.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
General the blocking issues specifically?
Speaker 6 (19:20):
Well, I mean, we learned that the Bumble didn't understand
that no means no, which is a problem for a
dating app that builds itself as feminist. And then they
changed once we kind of broke cut story, they changed
their story a whole bunch of times. And now, I mean,
to Bumble's credit, they now seem to be suggesting that
(19:41):
they will honor blocks and I hope that's true.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
They should, all of them should.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Well absolutely right, of course, right, it seems crazy that
they wouldn't be so I mean, yeah, I mean, we
all need to pay attention, and you know, Bumble after
they're totally bananas anti celibacy campaign last year, which is
when everybody started calling them humble. Can't really afford to
(20:08):
alienate more women. So if nothing else, like, I think
they're going to pay attention to this just because they've
gotten so much bad press out of it.
Speaker 5 (20:17):
Hey, which one do you like?
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Like you said that you that that that you're not
You're not on one currently, but you are a lot
in the press.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
Which one do you like?
Speaker 6 (20:26):
I mean, they're all terrible, but I would say the
least terrible of the big ones right now, probably Bumble
and Hinge.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
Oh there you go.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah, that will show you how bad it must be,
the one that you just torched, one of the big ones.
Speaker 6 (20:46):
Yeah, no, that's true. You're right, I'm hilarious.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
All right, very good, very good. Thank you, miss University
of Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Speaker 6 (20:56):
Well, thank you, and thanks for covering the story.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
You got it. Talk to you later. Thank you. How
random is it now?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
But how defeating is to hear at the end? What
did you learn?
Speaker 6 (21:08):
Well?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
It is still the best one, you know.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
The one that hooked me back up with the prisoner again.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
All these things that we never had to deal with
yet
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