Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I want to mention really quick strut four MutS because
I'm excited about this one. We're gonna be doing this
one coming up in Egan and it's on September thirteenth,
and you can register on Rescue Network MN dot org
and use the promo code kt but be to get ten.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Dollars off your registration.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We're kind of like a group on on the radio,
you know what I mean, Like an audio group on.
You keep listening and good god, you're gonna find out
all kinds of deals. Like you go down to the
Holiday station store, you mention Jenny, you get a.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Deal you mentioned me, and they'll be like, we don't
know that girl. We don't like to be associated with her.
But you can get great deals, like they're five dollars
meal deal where you get a sandwich, some chips, a coffee,
or a Polar Pop. You can also try their news
sty Pizza Stacker, which has all my favorite things on
it because it's got a lot of meat, it's sausage, pepperoni, monts,
some of these.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
In you're friends with Holiday, can you bring some of
this story.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Let me give them a carro quick.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Pizza, Okayait, Jenny, here's a fun headline. New York Magazine's website,
The Cut, just at an in depth feature titled everyone
has hemorrhoids? Now, oh okay, this is a true story.
They've talked of various doctors who are experts on the
(01:18):
butt area, including the chief of colon and rectel surgery
at Mount Sinai. Hemorrhoids have been apparently on the rise,
no pun intended for years, and young people are dealing
with them more and more, and if they get bad enough,
the only fixes a very uncomfortable surgery. We have hemorrhoids
more and more. Why here come the reasons? We sit
(01:43):
too much? Sitting for too long puts added pressure on
the veins down there. It restricts blood flow, and that's
what causes hemorrhoids. Not moving around enough can also make
you constipated, which doesn't help. I don't stand up for
that reason, but I stand up the entire four hours
of the show. That's why I sound so happy and energetic.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh is it?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah? Because motion equals emotion.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
That's why you always sound like you're about to go
to sleep, Bailey, because you're sitting down and now you
got hemorrhoids.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Oh do you have hemorrhoids. That's why my butt hurts.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Now I ask her that question. You can't ask that question.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
You just told her she has hemorhoids, and I can't
at least.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Ask her to be different to One's a statement.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You have plymydia day right, How did.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
You know I had plamydia? Okay, you can tell ye
bad plamydia. Here's another reason you have hemorrhoids. And this
makes sense. We sit on the toilet too long. A
survey in twenty twenty one found that three out of
four of us, and nearly all of us under thirty,
bring your phone in the bathroom with you, and you
could be done in two and a half minutes, but
(02:47):
you are not. You're on your phone. Sitting with your
knees up is even worse for hemorrhoids. So less time
than toilet is better. Ideally two minutes or less two minutes.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Jenny, you think you could take care of it everything
in two and a half minutes.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Don't ask me that question. You don't want to know,
just asked Bailey. So now, no, I'm not saying I'm
just saying that nobody wants to know they.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Are Okay, guys, that's all I'm saying, then doggis two
and a half minutes, right.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Another reason we are hemorrhoids is because we're not eating
enough fiber. More fiber tends to equal less straining. It
also equals less wiping and less irritation.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
It is very true about fiber. I remember listening to
a podcast with like a bunch of health experts and doctors,
and it was like, the percentage of fiber that we
get is about fifty percent of what we should be
getting every day.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
If really, yeah, yeah, eat your veggies. Another reason we
have hemorrhoids we're dehydrated. Not drinking enough fluid slows down
your digestion and it makes you constipated. So that means
you're straining on the commode for longer and therefore poop
pop peep poop, poop poop poop pop. Hemorrhoids popping up
(03:54):
like a bunch of popcorn.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
That's how they pop up. They go peepoopop pop pop
poop pop yep, peep yep.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
It's worse memorrhoids or kidney stones. Oh, I would say
kidney stones for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I never had them, but the horror stories I've heard
of kidney stones.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Oh, well, they'd rather get hemorrhoids. Knock on wood that
I do.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
But my sister had hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I thought there were like a similar pain. I'm going
to make a blanket statement.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Nearly all women who have had a baby naturally vaginal
birth have hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, because of all the pushing.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Oh yeah, getting hemorrhoids before after having olive. I can't
remember now.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It was before.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think it was before after. Yeah, I think I
think it complicated it. But yeah, it's like I think
a lot of women get hemorrhoids, especially if they had
a baby.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
You have.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, when I was in college young, what I have
no idea because I really this was before I had
a smartphone, so I know I wasn't sitting on the
toilet like scrolly.
Speaker 6 (04:51):
Yeah, I really needed a shampoo bottle over and over again.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Game Boy was new, and I would sit on the
toilet and a Tetris until my legs went numb.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And that's when I got them.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Your whole legs are just your feet, because.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
That's the whole legs. I would sit on the toilet
playing Tetris. I'm a game boy.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
I've had my feet go numb. But not my entire legs.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Yeah, you guys are sitting way too long.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh, way too long.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yeah, geez, it's so fun.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
And then that is not all of the things that
cause hemorrhoids, but it's for the big ones. If they
become a big issue, they say, talk to your doctor
about it early. But a lot of people don't want
to because they are embarrassed and they don't want your
doctors saying, Okay, bend over and then she's gonna look
up your bum hoole.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Nobody wants to do that.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
You don't bend over either, You just like lay on
your side.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Is that right? Nobody wants.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Nobody wants to do that either. They say, with your
hemorrhoids get worse, surgery is the only option. Let me
take this opportunity to tell you about how James J.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Hill died. James J.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Hill of railroad fame and the James James J.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Hill House. He hated doctors. He got hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
He would not go to the doctors until they became
Are you ready, gangreness? So picture green purple infected hemorrhoids
the size of a head of lettuce. Thinks okay, now
they're not that big but still but they were big.
They were green and purple and horribly painful. So he
called in the Mayo brothers. Have you heard of the
(06:20):
Mayo brothers.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
I have heard of them.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They said, it's too late, you gon't die, and he
did die of gangreness hemorrhoids. They say, the reason we
live longer. Now, do you know the reason why we
live longer is watching that guy, the smart guy with
the mustache, who's all over. He's got the funny name,
the smart the black guy with the smart guy.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
With the mustache.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
No, I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
What's his name? I don't know.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
Scientists he is.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
He shows up on my Instagram all the time because
I find that's tough, fascinating, he says. The reason we
live longer, and this would have saved like James J.
Hill was antibiotics and vaccines. The reason we don't die
young anymore. He said, like, up until vaccines and antibiotics
were invented, we all lived to about thirty five.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, and we die some people.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I don't care. Blame it on Neil degrass Tyson. He's
the one who said it. I'm just the messenger I
saved them too. No, I totally believe in science. He says,
the reason we live longer is because of antibiotics that
cures things that would have killed us in eighteen fifty two,
and vaccinations, which prevents things that would have killed us
in eighteen sixty one. Yeah, so you do whatever you
(07:41):
want with your vaccines, but this is science. And so
you know, somebody's gonna call in and tell me that
I'm a horrible person, but DM Neil deGrasse Tyson and
tell him he's a horrible I.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Have like a lot of old books, and in one
of the old books, it's like a cookbook, but it
also has a list of like how people die way
back in like eighteen sixty or something. Yeah, yea yeah,
and it would say, you know, like STDs like name
them and whatever that they would die from. But the
most like popular cause of death was teeth. What literally
just as teeth. So I feel like people would get
(08:14):
like a toothache or some kind of like issue in
the teeth, didn't have antibiotics to cure it, so they
would die because their teeth would like make them go
septic or whatever, and then they would die.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Doesn't that sound miserable.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
So it's just like what cause of death teeth.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
If you read the book The Killing Series by Bill O'Reilly,
there's one called Killing Jesus, and it's a fascinating series.
And the opening few paragraphs they talk about King Herod
or whoever this character was in the Bible. He's like
sitting there looking out at his kingdom, but he's also
suffering from everything from genital wartz to her pagana, chlamiterrhea
(08:51):
and all of these horrible things that there was no
cure or even an effective treatment for back then. Was
it a book called Killing Jesus? There's a whole series
like killing JFK, Killing Reagan, Killing this, killing that kill,
and it's a fascinating series. But King herrod Man he.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Had it rough King Herod.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
So if you get her paganic clament rhea right now,
you go down to Walgreens to pick up a bottle
of something and they take care of it for you.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Maybe he should have been wrapping things up.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Nobody wrapped it up back then, Jenny, you're being judgmental.
You're saying people shouldn't have had sex. Of course, the
wrap it up in a what a lamb in Testine.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
What about the poll and prey method. You're telling me
that didn't exist back then?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Doesn't prevent STD stop spreading disinformation.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Jenny wants a time machine. She heard that King Herod's
kind of loose.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Well, hey, King, all right, Dave's Dirt.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I'm Katie WB Channel four. It's Dave's Dirt on Katie
w B.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Well, let's see what we're up against this morning on
Dave's Dirt. Brought you by six point two Injured Heimer
and Lammer's Injury Law. Katie Perry? Is she smashing with
Justin Trudeau? Yes, they went on a dinner date and
he was once the Prime Minister of Canada. He's fifty three,
(10:10):
she's like maybe forty ish or so.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
They're both attractive and they've all seem like they have
nice personalities. So they are smashing, Yes, they are. How
did they meet? That's what I want to know.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
That's a really good question. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
That's what I thought when I saw that they were
potentially dating. I was like, Marilla, I wonder if.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
They met on that like the celebrity dating hinge?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
What is that?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
The celebrity one?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yeah? I know, what's right, yeah, ryo funny.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Are they smashing number two Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson. Yes,
they say they're just friends, but a friend says, yeah,
they have a budding romance. They also co star in
the new Naked Gun movie, which is in theaters Friday,
and that's how they met. And a source says that
she has been reaching into his holster.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It is a funny what it's not what it says
right in there. Sometimes you don't have to read everything
that's put right in front of the.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Reason was holster going. It's a budding romance. In the
early stages. They are clearly smitten with each other, and
good for them. By the way, he is seventy three.
She is fifty eight.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Okay, my gosh, she's seventy three.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
He is seventy three. Three he is seventy three.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
I'm shocked by Oh, I thought you said, I mean, yeah,
I guess that's not that too far off.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
It's like thirteen how many years of fifteen years?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Why don't care about the age difference. I just didn't
realize he was a old I think gives me more
like sixty energy.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Oh that's yeah, yeah, absolutely are they smashing Number three?
Tom Cruise and Anna day Armis were spotted holding hands
in Vermont on Sunday, and they also went to the
Oasis concert in London. Age differences. He is sixty three,
she is thirty seven.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Tom Cruise is like the new Leonardo pretty much.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
He's kind of always been that way.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Because I will tell you Tom Cruise, while he doesn't
look like he's thirty seven, he looks good for his age.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
He does, yes, and that's the thing.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
And he's I mean, it's weird because, like I know,
in general, Ton Cruise probably isn't like the greatest dude ever.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
But there's something about him. I just like that guy.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I think it's quick because of War the Worlds because
I like that movie.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
No, I know, and I like him too.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I totally admire him, and I think he's kind of
weird with the whole scientology thing. Yeah, but you know what,
if your religion works for you, then it works for you.
And I can't deny him that it seems to work,
all right, Jenny, What.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Do you got, Well, I have a home in so
it does, Dave, And it comes with a lot of repercussions,
especially when there's a lot of damage because of storms.
So Caro Levin just posted the story, and I did
not know this. If your neighbor's tree falls on your
house during a storm, and it's a healthy tree, it's
your responsibility to deal with it. What it's not the neighbors.
(12:46):
If it's a disease a tree, then it is your neighbors.
And obviously insurance comes into play with all of that
and they'll help you out with everything. But yeah, if
a healthy storm falls, So if you in these storms
we've had the last handful of days, something's fallen on
your property and it was on your neighbor's property, but
it was healthy, it's how your responsibility, and I don't
like that. I just don't like that.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
So if you and I live next door to each
other and my tree falls from fourteen feet inside of
my property, falls and lands on your garage, it's your
responsibility to pay for everything.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
I have to pay for the cleanup and the damages.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I guess that makes sense because there was no negligence
on my part, so it's not like I pushed the
tree over right, So I don't know what the reasoning is,
but maybe that's.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
What it is.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I just get I get scared of that because I
live in Saint Louis Park, where all of us live
five feet away from each other, and I do have
one big tree, but I think it would probably be
classified as not a healthy tree honestly, so if that
fell on my neighbor's property, I probably would be responsible
for it. But wow, this is news to me. It
might not be Dave's dirt news, but for me.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I was shocks.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I like it.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Kristen Bell and Dex Shepherd have said that they are
allowing their children, who are twelve and ten their daughters
to use curse words freely in the home, but not
out at restaurants, and they say in their own conversations
they let curse words flow wildly in front of their
children and they don't even think if it's any any
different than a regular conversation. Dave, did you let your
(14:14):
kids swear at home?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
They we never like told them not to. They just didn't.
I mean they really, they really did not. And it's
funny when they're older they can swear, and Alison and
Carson really don't. Yeah, Beth lets him fly, she lets
him fly, and Sodas chase. They are both potty.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Mouths and they're very weird or anything as their parents.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
No, No, I mean it's a little bit weird the
first time you hear your kid drop the F bomb
or the MF bomb.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
But you know, it's.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Like, but Carson swear in front of them though, Like,
did you issue them swear?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I know you.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
You definitely were.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Swearing, especially me.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yeah, because my parents, My parents would not swear in
front of us really ever unless they were having a
bad fine, then all that's we're off. But we so
I feel like because they didn't swear much, and then
we weren't lowest wear. Now I'm a sailor. I'm just
a sailor.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, you really are. She calls me a sea blanker
probably three times a day. Yeah, and she does, Yeah,
she says weird. She'll say like, Dave, what are you
doing later today? I'm like, I don't know. She's like,
are you a blank and blank? Are blank and blank?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah? Don't be such a sea blanker then yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
So Kim Kardashian has shape wear for your face and
we talked about it earlier and I was like, this
is stupid. I'm looking at the picture and it looks
even stupider than I thought. It's called a seamless sculpt
face we face wrap forty eight dollars. It comes in
two colors and it's supposed to help, like, I guess, keep.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Your jaw line intact.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
It just looks dumb, like what does look?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
What are we doing here? It's like a.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Food strap for your face.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
It's a forty eight dollars body suit before your face.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Don't buy it?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Wow, So all I got to say.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
It looks so stupid. If you want skims Instagram, you'll
see it and it looks dumb.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
The Jonas brothers are in the dirt talking about how
their breakup in twenty thirteen. Here is a little bit
of details on that.
Speaker 7 (16:02):
I think it needed to happen, and I think we
all grew from that experience so much and it was
important for us to be able to realize, yeah, okay,
we were having such a difficult time just being real
with each other back then that we had to take
these kind of moments to be like proper breakup of
saying I'm sorry, I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
But they're going strong again now, So what do they
either bury the hatchet or they've learned to get along
with each other. Yeah, it is financially beneficial to all
of them.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
That's gonna say Kevin's money drive up to because we
talked a couple of weeks ago. When they broke up,
he was almost gone, like he almost had no type
of money.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
So I'm sure this is good for him too. I
love this story too. This is over at the U
of M.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
They have their annual head of Lettuce speed eating contests,
or they take well, I'll let her explain it to you.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
This is from Instagram. In May, each.
Speaker 8 (16:48):
Lettuce has formally weighed before the competition begins. Then participants
must place the right hand on their lettuce and recite
the pledge. Then they start chowing down. To show you
finish the entire head, you have to stand up, raise
the stem and prove your mouth is empty. The raining champion,
Nathan Thomas, crowned eat in his head lettuce.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I love that. That is so stupid and funny at
the same time.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I WoT the title head Lettuce lettuce.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I told Susan last night, I said, how many beef
sticks do you think I could eat? And She's like, no,
You're not gonna try. I said, I'll bet I could
probably eat thirty beef sticks. Yeah, just for I was
super hungry.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Yeah you know, did you?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
No? I had two.
Speaker 6 (17:30):
You know what I learned about yesterday on the TikTok
is something called a hot bag, an Alabama hot bag
that has pickled eggs, pickled sausage, and sunflower seeds and
you mash it all up in a bag and then
you cut off the tip and then you squeeze it
out in your hand and throw it in your mouth.
What It sounds so gross, but I was like, this
can't be a thing. But then I looked it up. No,
that's a thing in Alabama, and it's the most like
(17:52):
Alabama you food to have ever.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I love that. You should make one and bring them in. Okay,
an Alabama hot bag.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
It's yeah, pickled eggs, pickled sausage, Vienna sausage, and then
some flower seeds but still in the shell, which seems weird.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Oh No, I wouldn't want that.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
That's how they make it dated, right, just reporting the news.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I appreciate it that as the dirt brought to you
proudly by Heimer and Lammer's Injury Los six one two
injured coming up in the magical fourth hour of The
Dave Ryan Show, Bailey has a bold statement to make,
and I'm gonna see whether you agree with Bailey. See,
i don't really agree with you on this one, but
I'm gonna let you make your bold stack. I'm not
gonna let you do anything. You do what you want
(18:29):
and we'll do that. Coming up next bold statement. Do
you agree or disagree with Bailey?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Coming up
I want to mention really quick strut four MutS because
I'm excited about this one. We're gonna be doing this
one coming up in Egan and it's on September thirteenth,
and you can register on Rescue Network MN dot org
and use the promo code kt but be to get ten.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Dollars off your registration.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We're kind of like a group on on the radio,
you know what I mean, Like an audio group on.
You keep listening and good god, you're gonna find out
all kinds of deals. Like you go down to the
Holiday station store, you mention Jenny, you get a.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Deal you mentioned me, and they'll be like, we don't
know that girl. We don't like to be associated with her.
But you can get great deals, like they're five dollars
meal deal where you get a sandwich, some chips, a coffee,
or a Polar Pop. You can also try their news
sty Pizza Stacker, which has all my favorite things on
it because it's got a lot of meat, it's sausage, pepperoni, monts,
some of these.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
In you're friends with Holiday, can you bring some of
this story.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Let me give them a carro quick.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Pizza, Okayait, Jenny, here's a fun headline. New York Magazine's website,
The Cut, just at an in depth feature titled everyone
has hemorrhoids? Now, oh okay, this is a true story.
They've talked of various doctors who are experts on the
(01:18):
butt area, including the chief of colon and rectel surgery
at Mount Sinai. Hemorrhoids have been apparently on the rise,
no pun intended for years, and young people are dealing
with them more and more, and if they get bad enough,
the only fixes a very uncomfortable surgery. We have hemorrhoids
more and more. Why here come the reasons? We sit
(01:43):
too much? Sitting for too long puts added pressure on
the veins down there. It restricts blood flow, and that's
what causes hemorrhoids. Not moving around enough can also make
you constipated, which doesn't help. I don't stand up for
that reason, but I stand up the entire four hours
of the show. That's why I sound so happy and energetic.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh is it?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah? Because motion equals emotion.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
That's why you always sound like you're about to go
to sleep, Bailey, because you're sitting down and now you
got hemorrhoids.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Oh do you have hemorrhoids. That's why my butt hurts.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Now I ask her that question. You can't ask that question.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
You just told her she has hemorhoids, and I can't
at least.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Ask her to be different to One's a statement.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You have plymydia day right, How did.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
You know I had plamydia? Okay, you can tell ye
bad plamydia. Here's another reason you have hemorrhoids. And this
makes sense. We sit on the toilet too long. A
survey in twenty twenty one found that three out of
four of us, and nearly all of us under thirty,
bring your phone in the bathroom with you, and you
could be done in two and a half minutes, but
(02:47):
you are not. You're on your phone. Sitting with your
knees up is even worse for hemorrhoids. So less time
than toilet is better. Ideally two minutes or less two minutes.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Jenny, you think you could take care of it everything
in two and a half minutes.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Don't ask me that question. You don't want to know,
just asked Bailey. So now, no, I'm not saying I'm
just saying that nobody wants to know they.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Are Okay, guys, that's all I'm saying, then doggis two
and a half minutes, right.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Another reason we are hemorrhoids is because we're not eating
enough fiber. More fiber tends to equal less straining. It
also equals less wiping and less irritation.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
It is very true about fiber. I remember listening to
a podcast with like a bunch of health experts and doctors,
and it was like, the percentage of fiber that we
get is about fifty percent of what we should be
getting every day.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
If really, yeah, yeah, eat your veggies. Another reason we
have hemorrhoids we're dehydrated. Not drinking enough fluid slows down
your digestion and it makes you constipated. So that means
you're straining on the commode for longer and therefore poop
pop peep poop, poop poop poop pop. Hemorrhoids popping up
(03:54):
like a bunch of popcorn.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
That's how they pop up. They go peepoopop pop pop
poop pop yep, peep yep.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
It's worse memorrhoids or kidney stones. Oh, I would say
kidney stones for sure.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
I never had them, but the horror stories I've heard
of kidney stones.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Oh, well, they'd rather get hemorrhoids. Knock on wood that
I do.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
But my sister had hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I thought there were like a similar pain. I'm going
to make a blanket statement.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Nearly all women who have had a baby naturally vaginal
birth have hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, because of all the pushing.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Oh yeah, getting hemorrhoids before after having olive. I can't
remember now.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It was before.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think it was before after. Yeah, I think I
think it complicated it. But yeah, it's like I think
a lot of women get hemorrhoids, especially if they had
a baby.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
You have.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Yeah, when I was in college young, what I have
no idea because I really this was before I had
a smartphone, so I know I wasn't sitting on the
toilet like scrolly.
Speaker 6 (04:51):
Yeah, I really needed a shampoo bottle over and over again.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Game Boy was new, and I would sit on the
toilet and a Tetris until my legs went numb.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And that's when I got them.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Your whole legs are just your feet, because.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
That's the whole legs. I would sit on the toilet
playing Tetris. I'm a game boy.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
I've had my feet go numb. But not my entire legs.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Yeah, you guys are sitting way too long.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh, way too long.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yeah, geez, it's so fun.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
And then that is not all of the things that
cause hemorrhoids, but it's for the big ones. If they
become a big issue, they say, talk to your doctor
about it early. But a lot of people don't want
to because they are embarrassed and they don't want your
doctors saying, Okay, bend over and then she's gonna look
up your bum hoole.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Nobody wants to do that.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
You don't bend over either, You just like lay on
your side.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Is that right? Nobody wants.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Nobody wants to do that either. They say, with your
hemorrhoids get worse, surgery is the only option. Let me
take this opportunity to tell you about how James J.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Hill died. James J.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Hill of railroad fame and the James James J.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Hill House. He hated doctors. He got hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
He would not go to the doctors until they became
Are you ready, gangreness? So picture green purple infected hemorrhoids
the size of a head of lettuce. Thinks okay, now
they're not that big but still but they were big.
They were green and purple and horribly painful. So he
called in the Mayo brothers. Have you heard of the
(06:20):
Mayo brothers.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
I have heard of them.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
They said, it's too late, you gon't die, and he
did die of gangreness hemorrhoids. They say, the reason we
live longer. Now, do you know the reason why we
live longer is watching that guy, the smart guy with
the mustache, who's all over. He's got the funny name,
the smart the black guy with the smart guy.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
With the mustache.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
No, I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
What's his name? I don't know.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
Scientists he is.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
He shows up on my Instagram all the time because
I find that's tough, fascinating, he says. The reason we
live longer, and this would have saved like James J.
Hill was antibiotics and vaccines. The reason we don't die
young anymore. He said, like, up until vaccines and antibiotics
were invented, we all lived to about thirty five.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, and we die some people.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I don't care. Blame it on Neil degrass Tyson. He's
the one who said it. I'm just the messenger I
saved them too. No, I totally believe in science. He says,
the reason we live longer is because of antibiotics that
cures things that would have killed us in eighteen fifty two,
and vaccinations, which prevents things that would have killed us
in eighteen sixty one. Yeah, so you do whatever you
(07:41):
want with your vaccines, but this is science. And so
you know, somebody's gonna call in and tell me that
I'm a horrible person, but DM Neil deGrasse Tyson and
tell him he's a horrible I.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Have like a lot of old books, and in one
of the old books, it's like a cookbook, but it
also has a list of like how people die way
back in like eighteen sixty or something. Yeah, yea yeah,
and it would say, you know, like STDs like name
them and whatever that they would die from. But the
most like popular cause of death was teeth. What literally
just as teeth. So I feel like people would get
(08:14):
like a toothache or some kind of like issue in
the teeth, didn't have antibiotics to cure it, so they
would die because their teeth would like make them go
septic or whatever, and then they would die.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Doesn't that sound miserable.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
So it's just like what cause of death teeth.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
If you read the book The Killing Series by Bill O'Reilly,
there's one called Killing Jesus, and it's a fascinating series.
And the opening few paragraphs they talk about King Herod
or whoever this character was in the Bible. He's like
sitting there looking out at his kingdom, but he's also
suffering from everything from genital wartz to her pagana, chlamiterrhea
(08:51):
and all of these horrible things that there was no
cure or even an effective treatment for back then. Was
it a book called Killing Jesus? There's a whole series
like killing JFK, Killing Reagan, Killing this, killing that kill,
and it's a fascinating series. But King herrod Man he.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Had it rough King Herod.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
So if you get her paganic clament rhea right now,
you go down to Walgreens to pick up a bottle
of something and they take care of it for you.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Maybe he should have been wrapping things up.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Nobody wrapped it up back then, Jenny, you're being judgmental.
You're saying people shouldn't have had sex. Of course, the
wrap it up in a what a lamb in Testine.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
What about the poll and prey method. You're telling me
that didn't exist back then?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Doesn't prevent STD stop spreading disinformation.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Jenny wants a time machine. She heard that King Herod's
kind of loose.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Well, hey, King, all right, Dave's Dirt.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I'm Katie WB Channel four. It's Dave's Dirt on Katie
w B.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Well, let's see what we're up against this morning on
Dave's Dirt. Brought you by six point two Injured Heimer
and Lammer's Injury Law. Katie Perry? Is she smashing with
Justin Trudeau? Yes, they went on a dinner date and
he was once the Prime Minister of Canada. He's fifty three,
(10:10):
she's like maybe forty ish or so.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
They're both attractive and they've all seem like they have
nice personalities. So they are smashing, Yes, they are. How
did they meet? That's what I want to know.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
That's a really good question. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
That's what I thought when I saw that they were
potentially dating. I was like, Marilla, I wonder if.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
They met on that like the celebrity dating hinge?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
What is that?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
The celebrity one?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yeah? I know, what's right, yeah, ryo funny.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Are they smashing number two Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson. Yes,
they say they're just friends, but a friend says, yeah,
they have a budding romance. They also co star in
the new Naked Gun movie, which is in theaters Friday,
and that's how they met. And a source says that
she has been reaching into his holster.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
It is a funny what it's not what it says
right in there. Sometimes you don't have to read everything
that's put right in front of the.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Reason was holster going. It's a budding romance. In the
early stages. They are clearly smitten with each other, and
good for them. By the way, he is seventy three.
She is fifty eight.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Okay, my gosh, she's seventy three.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
He is seventy three. Three he is seventy three.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
I'm shocked by Oh, I thought you said, I mean, yeah,
I guess that's not that too far off.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
It's like thirteen how many years of fifteen years?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Why don't care about the age difference. I just didn't
realize he was a old I think gives me more
like sixty energy.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Oh that's yeah, yeah, absolutely are they smashing Number three?
Tom Cruise and Anna day Armis were spotted holding hands
in Vermont on Sunday, and they also went to the
Oasis concert in London. Age differences. He is sixty three,
she is thirty seven.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Tom Cruise is like the new Leonardo pretty much.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
He's kind of always been that way.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Because I will tell you Tom Cruise, while he doesn't
look like he's thirty seven, he looks good for his age.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
He does, yes, and that's the thing.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
And he's I mean, it's weird because, like I know,
in general, Ton Cruise probably isn't like the greatest dude ever.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
But there's something about him. I just like that guy.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I think it's quick because of War the Worlds because
I like that movie.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
No, I know, and I like him too.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
I totally admire him, and I think he's kind of
weird with the whole scientology thing. Yeah, but you know what,
if your religion works for you, then it works for you.
And I can't deny him that it seems to work,
all right, Jenny, What.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Do you got, Well, I have a home in so
it does, Dave, And it comes with a lot of repercussions,
especially when there's a lot of damage because of storms.
So Caro Levin just posted the story, and I did
not know this. If your neighbor's tree falls on your
house during a storm, and it's a healthy tree, it's
your responsibility to deal with it. What it's not the neighbors.
(12:46):
If it's a disease a tree, then it is your neighbors.
And obviously insurance comes into play with all of that
and they'll help you out with everything. But yeah, if
a healthy storm falls, So if you in these storms
we've had the last handful of days, something's fallen on
your property and it was on your neighbor's property, but
it was healthy, it's how your responsibility, and I don't
like that. I just don't like that.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
So if you and I live next door to each
other and my tree falls from fourteen feet inside of
my property, falls and lands on your garage, it's your
responsibility to pay for everything.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
I have to pay for the cleanup and the damages.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I guess that makes sense because there was no negligence
on my part, so it's not like I pushed the
tree over right, So I don't know what the reasoning is,
but maybe that's.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
What it is.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I just get I get scared of that because I
live in Saint Louis Park, where all of us live
five feet away from each other, and I do have
one big tree, but I think it would probably be
classified as not a healthy tree honestly, so if that
fell on my neighbor's property, I probably would be responsible
for it. But wow, this is news to me. It
might not be Dave's dirt news, but for me.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I was shocks.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
I like it.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Kristen Bell and Dex Shepherd have said that they are
allowing their children, who are twelve and ten their daughters
to use curse words freely in the home, but not
out at restaurants, and they say in their own conversations
they let curse words flow wildly in front of their
children and they don't even think if it's any any
different than a regular conversation. Dave, did you let your
(14:14):
kids swear at home?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:16):
They we never like told them not to. They just didn't.
I mean they really, they really did not. And it's
funny when they're older they can swear, and Alison and
Carson really don't. Yeah, Beth lets him fly, she lets
him fly, and Sodas chase. They are both potty.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Mouths and they're very weird or anything as their parents.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
No, No, I mean it's a little bit weird the
first time you hear your kid drop the F bomb
or the MF bomb.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
But you know, it's.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Like, but Carson swear in front of them though, Like,
did you issue them swear?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I know you.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
You definitely were.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Swearing, especially me.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Yeah, because my parents, My parents would not swear in
front of us really ever unless they were having a
bad fine, then all that's we're off. But we so
I feel like because they didn't swear much, and then
we weren't lowest wear. Now I'm a sailor. I'm just
a sailor.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, you really are. She calls me a sea blanker
probably three times a day. Yeah, and she does, Yeah,
she says weird. She'll say like, Dave, what are you
doing later today? I'm like, I don't know. She's like,
are you a blank and blank? Are blank and blank?
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Yeah? Don't be such a sea blanker then yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
So Kim Kardashian has shape wear for your face and
we talked about it earlier and I was like, this
is stupid. I'm looking at the picture and it looks
even stupider than I thought. It's called a seamless sculpt
face we face wrap forty eight dollars. It comes in
two colors and it's supposed to help, like, I guess, keep.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Your jaw line intact.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
It just looks dumb, like what does look?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
What are we doing here? It's like a.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Food strap for your face.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
It's a forty eight dollars body suit before your face.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Don't buy it?
Speaker 5 (15:50):
Wow, So all I got to say.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
It looks so stupid. If you want skims Instagram, you'll
see it and it looks dumb.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
The Jonas brothers are in the dirt talking about how
their breakup in twenty thirteen. Here is a little bit
of details on that.
Speaker 7 (16:02):
I think it needed to happen, and I think we
all grew from that experience so much and it was
important for us to be able to realize, yeah, okay,
we were having such a difficult time just being real
with each other back then that we had to take
these kind of moments to be like proper breakup of
saying I'm sorry, I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
But they're going strong again now, So what do they
either bury the hatchet or they've learned to get along
with each other. Yeah, it is financially beneficial to all
of them.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
That's gonna say Kevin's money drive up to because we
talked a couple of weeks ago. When they broke up,
he was almost gone, like he almost had no type
of money.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
So I'm sure this is good for him too. I
love this story too. This is over at the U
of M.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
They have their annual head of Lettuce speed eating contests,
or they take well, I'll let her explain it to you.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
This is from Instagram. In May, each.
Speaker 8 (16:48):
Lettuce has formally weighed before the competition begins. Then participants
must place the right hand on their lettuce and recite
the pledge. Then they start chowing down. To show you
finish the entire head, you have to stand up, raise
the stem and prove your mouth is empty. The raining champion,
Nathan Thomas, crowned eat in his head lettuce.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
I love that. That is so stupid and funny at
the same time.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I WoT the title head Lettuce lettuce.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
I told Susan last night, I said, how many beef
sticks do you think I could eat? And She's like, no,
You're not gonna try. I said, I'll bet I could
probably eat thirty beef sticks. Yeah, just for I was
super hungry.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Yeah you know, did you?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
No? I had two.
Speaker 6 (17:30):
You know what I learned about yesterday on the TikTok
is something called a hot bag, an Alabama hot bag
that has pickled eggs, pickled sausage, and sunflower seeds and
you mash it all up in a bag and then
you cut off the tip and then you squeeze it
out in your hand and throw it in your mouth.
What It sounds so gross, but I was like, this
can't be a thing. But then I looked it up. No,
that's a thing in Alabama, and it's the most like
(17:52):
Alabama you food to have ever.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I love that. You should make one and bring them in. Okay,
an Alabama hot bag.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
It's yeah, pickled eggs, pickled sausage, Vienna sausage, and then
some flower seeds but still in the shell, which seems weird.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Oh No, I wouldn't want that.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
That's how they make it dated, right, just reporting the news.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I appreciate it that as the dirt brought to you
proudly by Heimer and Lammer's Injury Los six one two
injured coming up in the magical fourth hour of The
Dave Ryan Show, Bailey has a bold statement to make,
and I'm gonna see whether you agree with Bailey. See,
i don't really agree with you on this one, but
I'm gonna let you make your bold stack. I'm not
gonna let you do anything. You do what you want
(18:29):
and we'll do that. Coming up next bold statement. Do
you agree or disagree with Bailey?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Coming up
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