February 5, 2025 • 24 mins
Are you in love or are you settling? Everyone wants love, everyone wants companionship, but some of us are settling to avoid being lonely. Do you truly love your partner or do you simply love what you're getting out of them? Patty and the crew discuss.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is
off limits. This is the Patty and the Millennials podcast,
powered by ACME Markets, helping to bridge the gap between
baby boomers, gen X and millennials.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
We took a little hiatus, but we're back.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
This is the podcast Patty and the Millennials and Patty Jackson.
I'm a forty three year radio vet and i love
great conversation and I've surrounded myself with millennials and Gen
X and Gen z's. We're not at the bathes yet
because they still babies, but we all come together and
we have great conversation men and women. We're starting off
(00:44):
with another legendary voice for talking about uncle.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Oh how are you?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (00:51):
Happy New Year, everybody, Patty, Happy New Year. Congratulations forty
three years congratulating you are the real legend. I'm I'm
just a swing along. I'm just hanging over to your coattail.
You are the real legendary.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Well, you keep hanging on to that coattail. We're going
to learn a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and I said,
even married people need to be hip to the game
or just advise those because people are out here searching.
They are tired of swiping. That's been like a big conversation, like,
I don't want to swipe no more. The secrets to
(01:31):
finding good love. I want to know your thoughts of
a lot of people. Oh don't know how to say goodbye?
Like you can't be invested in a bunch of time
and energy when you know that person ain't right for you.
Speaker 6 (01:46):
Well, you know what it is.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
You gotta manage your expectations of people and people nowadays,
what I'm seeing are expecting the world from people and
can't let go of what they expected from someone else
they have. You know a lot of times people are
asking for closure from situations that they've left, but the
(02:11):
closure happened when you left leave that situation alone.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
You can't move on to new love until.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
You manage the expectations you have for the new love
by leaving alone the old love.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Have you ever heard of energy vampires.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
I've definitely heard the energy vampires. That they're out here
every day. You know your children will be the energy
vampires sometimes if you're not careful.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Energy vampires everybody. It's something old but given a new name.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
People who only talk about themselves, what they own what
they gonna do. If they're not interested in you now,
they won't give a hoot what you're doing tomorrow, like
they don't give up about you.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
But some people we call that self centered in the
old days, ain't that go called self centered? Yes, yes,
that's all it is, your self centered people.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
What about first impressions? Because sometimes our first impression is
not good? Some people are are anxious, and I think
a lot of people, you know, when we get into
the damn swiping.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Thing, they're.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
They're looking for perfection. And there is no such thing
as perfection.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
I have just had this conversation with someone about people
trying to be perfect. There is no such thing as
perfect something. You had just better know that what you
have works.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
For you, you.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Know, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You have to find what works for you.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
People are looking for the best in everyone, knowing they're
not perfect. So you just got to go into these
situations saying, how much of what's happening here can work
for me? And how can I manage that to work
for me?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
And then find that and.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
If it works for you, along with the love that
you see in the person, it'll be okay.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Does she make the best cookies in the world or
what yes she does. Glassie Brown cook Cookies owner founder
Arlene Felder is joining us.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
How you doing love?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
I'm doing good, Paddie.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Valentine's Days just around the corner.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Many people want to find true love. Oh they tied
the swipe and they're tied of it. They're spending this
money there, they're they.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Like no swipey know.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Do you think a lot of people they're out here,
they're searching. Sometimes you gotta trust your inner confidence so
that people will gravitate towards you your feelings on this.
Speaker 7 (05:08):
You really got to take your time. A lot of
people they're searching so much that they'll start searching in
October and at the Valentine's Day because you know, you
want to be by somebody when it's warm, when it's
cold outside, nights of warm and toci. Sometimes you got
to take your time, take a deep breath, and get
to know yourself or you'll end up with your heart
(05:28):
broking and your wallet empty.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Do you think a lot of people should start with
the self love first, because a lot of people don't
know how to love themselves.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Absolutely, As an adult, there's still things that I'm learning
myself about myself. We really got to take time and
really get to know our inner thoughts, what's going on
on the inside. If we don't, we're setting ourselves up
for future failure.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What about know when to say goodbye? Some people don't
know how to say goodbye. They'll invest their time, their energy,
but their gut is saying, now, you know this person
ain't right for you.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Sometimes it's tough because there's people who don't want to
ever be alone, right, and it's coming from a spiritual
side of that. You have to be able to know
who your believer is and to know that you're never alone,
so you just won't settle for anything.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
This is the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials and
Patty Jackson Dexter Dad, Daddy decks, he puts it all together.
He's a new dad, but he still has strong opinions
and decks. We're talking about what people are saying secrets
to finding true love. How about people who don't know
(06:53):
when to say goodbye? When you don't know when to
say goodbye, you don't know what you don't know what's
out there. If you can't leave the bad situation that
you're in.
Speaker 8 (07:06):
Yeah, I mean, I think we see that a lot.
There's a lot of people who I know personally who
are still stuck on relationships from high school, from college
from twenty years ago. And not only have these people
moved on without you, they have families, they have children,
and you still on Instagram trying to see what they
up to. They're moving on with life. You got to
do the same.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
M It's interesting how you say that. How about these
energy vampires. Yes, I'm throwing a new word at you.
Energy vampires. People can't get away from them. And the
energy vampires. Everybody are those people only talk about themselves.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
It's all about them.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
There's actually a really funny car commercial about this that
I thought was hysterical.
Speaker 8 (07:53):
Energy vampires. So here you go with the twenty twenty
five terms out. That's hard for me because I feel
like people have this thing what are always like, especially
about men, They're like, men don't talk enough about themselves.
We don't women are on days, so we don't even
know what the man is about. So like now I
think a lot of guys are talking too much about
themselves and over sharing about themselves, and women are like now,
(08:16):
I don't want that either.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Sex Doctor Heather is here and he is a sexologist.
Doc Valentine's Day is just around the corner. The secrets
to finding true love. And I bring this up because
some people don't know how to let go, so what
(08:41):
happens they never find their true love?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Your thoughts?
Speaker 9 (08:46):
Yes, Oh my gosh, Patty, I love this this.
Speaker 8 (08:48):
I could talk all day about this because you have to.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
When you said let go, I think that's huge because
first you have to recognize what you have to let go, Patty.
Speaker 8 (09:00):
Some people have.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Baggage or just trauma from pat from their past, childhood
or familial bonds, things like that, and when they have
a partner, they really know that that's not the person
their person I'm going to say, right, So many people
get partnered because they want to body next to them, Patty.
(09:22):
And you know what I mean, Oh, I just I'm
tired of being alone. So the first person that came along,
they just said, Okay, our values don't need to match
because I just want to body next to me, and
they don't know how to let that.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Go and love themselves.
Speaker 9 (09:40):
The key, Patty, is to figure who you are out
first before you invite people into your space, because that
gives room for other people's beliefs and values to cover
and cloud your own, and then letting go becomes impossible
because now you've adopted all of their values and forgotten
(10:02):
about your values. And then ten years you look up
and you're unhappy, and you wonder why.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
I really love it. I really love how you summ
that up.
Speaker 9 (10:12):
Go on, go on, yes, because people. I just talked
about this with the client because she let go, and
it's amazing as a therapist to watch my clients transform. Patty,
I am ecstatic. I'm in here toasting to myself right
because these women and men and people are learning how
to love who they are, and then they're going back
(10:35):
figuring out what their actual values are because we forget
what they are when social media comes in play. We
take on people that we don't know those values, and
we forget about our parents. We forgot about our moms,
our dads if we had them, or the people who
raised us, who taught us these values that we leave behind.
(10:56):
So what we do is go back and dig in
and figure what those values are.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And then we say, you know what, this is.
Speaker 9 (11:01):
A non negotiable for me.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I need loyalty.
Speaker 9 (11:05):
Just as an example, Patty, this is a non negotiable value.
But I've been negotiating this value. Why because I want
a body next to me.
Speaker 8 (11:15):
So you gotta go back, you gotta let go.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
You need to get some therapy.
Speaker 9 (11:18):
That's what I tell everyone, you know, including me, including therapists.
So we can learn how to help people the right way,
so people can learn how to live and love themselves
at the end of the day, So you can let go.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Does he Niili is joining us?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
You know, I'm always reading. Valentine's Day is just around
the corner, and national Psychics. National psychics are sharing the
secrets to finding good love. They say, knowing when to
say goodbye because a lot of people are in situations
(11:54):
and they should be out, but they don't know how
to say goodbye.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Oh this is hit at home. Don't do me like this.
Speaker 10 (12:05):
Oh my goodness, this is hitting home for me. I
have a let's call him a returnee, somebody that I
sent away many years ago to go grow right and
sort of kind of you know, when I see you,
I see you, but this time there is a streak
of brokenness that I see.
Speaker 8 (12:23):
That as a deal breaker for me.
Speaker 10 (12:25):
At forty seven, Like I know, so much more about
myself and my knees and what I want that I
feel like I need to release him forever to really
get what I want.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Oh my god, Oops, I don't bull down your alley.
I'm stepping on your toes.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
We're gonna move on. We're going to move on to
another one.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
They're dating rules, they say, going at least three dates
with a person. They're saying within three weeks before anything
sexual pops off. Yeah, yeah that one, so that that
still holds. Don't be giving it up on the first date.
Speaker 10 (13:06):
No, no, even shout out to over forty women, I
know your thing is singing. Sho'll the hell out because
when that ooh, I was about to cut, you know,
I like to cut when that person, real person shows
up and you.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
Don't give up them drawls, it's a feeling you can't
come back from.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So yes, wait, wait, I love that one.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
How about trusting in your inner confidence to make people
like sometimes you have to recognize your own fabulousness, but
trusting in that inner self confidence mm hmm, yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I love that.
Speaker 10 (13:40):
That what we call it, that women's intuition, you know
what I mean. But in addition to that, when we
are in God. Those of us who know God, we
also get that desernment. And that's a double bubble because
sometimes God will just send you a sign and no
matter how much you tried, you can't shake it.
Speaker 11 (13:57):
Listen to that thing.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
With Valentine's Day literally around the corner. The Secrets to
Finding True Love author Kim Reid Optimis always wins is
joining us and a lot of people are saying, get
unstuck from the situation that you're in. Because you're unhappy
and because you can't let go, you won't find your
(14:23):
true love.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Your thoughts.
Speaker 12 (14:29):
I agree, you know, I think that sometimes were we
we are in our own way, no question about it.
You know, if if a relationship is what you desire,
you have to Sometimes we have to, you know, oftentimes, Patty,
we have to look in the mirror and say, what's
(14:49):
holding us back? Right, And sometimes it is us not
letting go of the past, or perhaps it is fear.
Perhaps it is just us not being happy with where
we are in our lives or who we are as people.
So sometimes we just have to get out of our
(15:10):
own way, open up our hearts and just be open
to the possibilities and just love. Great time of the year.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
This is the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials. We've
got the.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Doula, that's all I have to call it, the Duela.
She is so into black maternal health and doing a
great job. We've got Lexi and Valentine's Day is just
around the corner, Lexi.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
The secrets to finding true love? Do you think.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Knowing when to let go, not staying in the suck
situation relationship is the key to finding true love? Because
if you stay suck in this one and you're not happy,
and you know this person is not that person, your.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
True love, your soul made. What do you think about
people who just cannot let go?
Speaker 11 (16:14):
It's that think.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
It's what it is.
Speaker 11 (16:17):
Is like that settling spirit, if you will. And so
I think as equally is knowing when to lean in.
So yes, I agree that people will settle, they will
stay in relationships that are comfortable.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I mean, we've all done it.
Speaker 11 (16:29):
I've done it in the past, and god, that's not
my current situation, but I absolutely know that that is
a thing. Because we're looking for companionship. That's the way
we were designed and wired to be connected together. But
when we don't get that, the way we want it,
we'll start compromising and making concessions.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Where we should not.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
We all got to.
Speaker 11 (16:51):
Compromise in relationships, but not on things that challenge our values,
not on things that you know aren't really like you
just said, from our soulmate and where we're meant to be.
And so I think that's one thing. Yes, we got
to learn when to let go, and we got to
learn what to lean in. So because of sometimes our
previous relationships will be in a relationship that is not
(17:12):
for us, but we won't lean in because of fear,
because of doubt, and because of some of those previous
situations where we settle. So yes, ultimately those two factors
can impact our longevity and love.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
We're approaching Valentine's Day, people are ditching the dating apps
because they want something more authentic. They don't want to
be judged just by their looks. A National Psychic survey,
now I'm always find it.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Stop.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
She had their secrets defining true love, and one of
them that struck me was not being afraid to let go.
People are in situations for convenience because they want to
body and they're not with their true love and they
know it. But by staying in the situation. You'll never
(18:07):
find that person to make you happy, but you got
to be happy with you yourself first. It's not that
someone asks to bring you happiness, but to seek what
you're looking.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
For in life.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It may be with someone else if you just learn
to let go.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Ooh, Patty, I know this is this is deep kid,
Paddy Martin Jr.
Speaker 12 (18:35):
The King, Come on now.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
So that is the key in my forty years of
forty plus years of living, it took me this long
to finally get here. Girl, Let go. I It don't
matter who pulls up on a scene. It could beyond
the Mars, Patty Jackson. He falls up on the stand
(19:03):
and say, baby, I'm here, I'm ready.
Speaker 13 (19:06):
And you get so excited that you caught up that
we do anything. You sit here and make a Coblas
every day, don't you do it? You have to be
okay with letting go.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
If your dream person walks in tomorrow, the thing that
you ordered walks in, you still have to be okay
with that person walking out that door because it spares
you self respect.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It says you.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Just knowing who you are as a.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Person, and you deserve better than that.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
To allow somebody to just not even that person, because
it's really you robbing yourself of your happiness for the future,
and you don't want to let it go because you
are in the space of, oh, well it's comfortable here.
Well it don't hit the boxes that you know. I
really want and need, but I'm getting some type of percentage.
(20:06):
A lot of women will tell you, well, a lot
of people, I'm getting the bills paid, but ain't nothing
else lining up. Stop wasting your time. Go out there
and get your happiness. You are holding on to trash
where the treasure is right on the other side, but
you can't get to it because you won't let go.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Most say Loren Broadcaster of real estate. Maybe and she
does it all.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Valentine's Day is coming up, mo and the Secrets to
finding love.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
People are tired first off.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Of these damn dating ams, all the swipe and swipe
and swiping.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
But a lot of people feel that people don't know
how to let go. What do I mean by that?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
They will stay in the situation where they're not happy,
they're not being treated well, it's no longer fulfilling. And
if you don't know how to step out and say no,
this's got to stop. I got an exit left. You'll
never find your true love. Do you think a lot
(21:12):
of people are just afraid to let go? I know
I've been in situations where I've overstayed my welcome in
the relationship, knowing darn well, knowing darn well, I should
have exit stage your left.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Well, I will tell you that I think we all have.
If you've lived long enough, you've had enough experiences, and
you have been one of those people who have probably
over staged, You're welcome having been married for ten years
and now you know at the basically divorced. What I
have learned is that the best love is self love,
(21:54):
as cliche as it sounds, and I realize that for many,
many years throughout any relationships, I always sort of put
the person before me because I thought that was the
way that you sort of support your partner, right is
being selfless? Well, that is the way you do it,
But you can't do it without the reciprocation, because if
(22:17):
only one of the two of us are being selfless,
that means that somebody's not being taken care of. And
so that left me on the losing side of the stick.
And I said, well, Moselle, You got this formula all wrong.
Speaker 7 (22:30):
Girl.
Speaker 6 (22:31):
You got to love yourself more than you love anything
and anybody in this world that way. When you're not
being that way, when you're not being treated right, and
you're not being served the way you're serving, then you
know automatically that ain't a person for you. So what
I would advise people to do, especially women of a
(22:52):
certain age, because I know it's hard. Shall We all
want companionship, you know, and and it gets harder the
older you get, because unfortunately we don't have it like
the silver foxes of the world, where they get they
get better with time. You know, they're like fine wine
and they get older in there in there and they're
graying up and looking really good. We get older, honey,
(23:12):
and they want to cast us out to the dogs. Okay,
So we got to be careful not to settle for
anything just for the purpose of purposes of having something.
You know, that whole that old saying that says I'd
rather have a piece of man than no man at all. Uh,
We're not doing that. We gonna love ourselves fully and completely.
(23:33):
We're gonna understand our value, our worth, know that we
are deserving of the best of the best and hold
that line, never compromise that. And I'm saying that outwardly
because I have to also believe it inwardly. And like
I said, having having gone through a very tumultuous ten
years of a of a marriage, this is what I've
brought out of it. So whoever is in my purview
(23:55):
moving forward, just understand, do know and understand you know
that I have I have some non breakable requirements and
that's how we all should set ourselves up to get
the best in terms of our relationships in our life partners.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Powerful.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, the importance of a great conversation. That is what
this podcast is all about. Patty and the Millennials, Thanks so.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Much for joining us. Appreciate you. Dex Stuck.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
He puts everything together and you can find us where
podcasts live, SoundCloud, Spotify, Pandora, iHeartRadio podcasts and of course SoundCloud,
thank god everything Apple Podcasts. Yeah, we're there and you
can find us. Thanks for joining us. This is the
podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials.
Whether it's life, relationships, politics, or current events, nothing is
off limits. This is the Patty and the Millennials podcast,
powered by ACME Markets, helping to bridge the gap between
baby boomers, gen X and millennials.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
We took a little hiatus, but we're back.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
This is the podcast Patty and the Millennials and Patty Jackson.
I'm a forty three year radio vet and i love
great conversation and I've surrounded myself with millennials and Gen
X and Gen z's. We're not at the bathes yet
because they still babies, but we all come together and
we have great conversation men and women. We're starting off
(00:44):
with another legendary voice for talking about uncle.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Oh how are you?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (00:51):
Happy New Year, everybody, Patty, Happy New Year. Congratulations forty
three years congratulating you are the real legend. I'm I'm
just a swing along. I'm just hanging over to your coattail.
You are the real legendary.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Well, you keep hanging on to that coattail. We're going
to learn a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and I said,
even married people need to be hip to the game
or just advise those because people are out here searching.
They are tired of swiping. That's been like a big conversation, like,
I don't want to swipe no more. The secrets to
(01:31):
finding good love. I want to know your thoughts of
a lot of people. Oh don't know how to say goodbye?
Like you can't be invested in a bunch of time
and energy when you know that person ain't right for you.
Speaker 6 (01:46):
Well, you know what it is.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
You gotta manage your expectations of people and people nowadays,
what I'm seeing are expecting the world from people and
can't let go of what they expected from someone else
they have. You know a lot of times people are
asking for closure from situations that they've left, but the
(02:11):
closure happened when you left leave that situation alone.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
You can't move on to new love until.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
You manage the expectations you have for the new love
by leaving alone the old love.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Have you ever heard of energy vampires.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
I've definitely heard the energy vampires. That they're out here
every day. You know your children will be the energy
vampires sometimes if you're not careful.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Energy vampires everybody. It's something old but given a new name.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
People who only talk about themselves, what they own what
they gonna do. If they're not interested in you now,
they won't give a hoot what you're doing tomorrow, like
they don't give up about you.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
But some people we call that self centered in the
old days, ain't that go called self centered? Yes, yes,
that's all it is, your self centered people.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
What about first impressions? Because sometimes our first impression is
not good? Some people are are anxious, and I think
a lot of people, you know, when we get into
the damn swiping.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Thing, they're.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
They're looking for perfection. And there is no such thing
as perfection.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
I have just had this conversation with someone about people
trying to be perfect. There is no such thing as
perfect something. You had just better know that what you
have works.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
For you, you.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
Know, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You have to find what works for you.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
People are looking for the best in everyone, knowing they're
not perfect. So you just got to go into these
situations saying, how much of what's happening here can work
for me? And how can I manage that to work
for me?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
And then find that and.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
If it works for you, along with the love that
you see in the person, it'll be okay.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Does she make the best cookies in the world or
what yes she does. Glassie Brown cook Cookies owner founder
Arlene Felder is joining us.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
How you doing love?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
I'm doing good, Paddie.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Valentine's Days just around the corner.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Many people want to find true love. Oh they tied
the swipe and they're tied of it. They're spending this
money there, they're they.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Like no swipey know.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Do you think a lot of people they're out here,
they're searching. Sometimes you gotta trust your inner confidence so
that people will gravitate towards you your feelings on this.
Speaker 7 (05:08):
You really got to take your time. A lot of
people they're searching so much that they'll start searching in
October and at the Valentine's Day because you know, you
want to be by somebody when it's warm, when it's
cold outside, nights of warm and toci. Sometimes you got
to take your time, take a deep breath, and get
to know yourself or you'll end up with your heart
(05:28):
broking and your wallet empty.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Do you think a lot of people should start with
the self love first, because a lot of people don't
know how to love themselves.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Absolutely, As an adult, there's still things that I'm learning
myself about myself. We really got to take time and
really get to know our inner thoughts, what's going on
on the inside. If we don't, we're setting ourselves up
for future failure.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What about know when to say goodbye? Some people don't
know how to say goodbye. They'll invest their time, their energy,
but their gut is saying, now, you know this person
ain't right for you.
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Sometimes it's tough because there's people who don't want to
ever be alone, right, and it's coming from a spiritual
side of that. You have to be able to know
who your believer is and to know that you're never alone,
so you just won't settle for anything.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
This is the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials and
Patty Jackson Dexter Dad, Daddy decks, he puts it all together.
He's a new dad, but he still has strong opinions
and decks. We're talking about what people are saying secrets
to finding true love. How about people who don't know
(06:53):
when to say goodbye? When you don't know when to
say goodbye, you don't know what you don't know what's
out there. If you can't leave the bad situation that
you're in.
Speaker 8 (07:06):
Yeah, I mean, I think we see that a lot.
There's a lot of people who I know personally who
are still stuck on relationships from high school, from college
from twenty years ago. And not only have these people
moved on without you, they have families, they have children,
and you still on Instagram trying to see what they
up to. They're moving on with life. You got to
do the same.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
M It's interesting how you say that. How about these
energy vampires. Yes, I'm throwing a new word at you.
Energy vampires. People can't get away from them. And the
energy vampires. Everybody are those people only talk about themselves.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
It's all about them.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
There's actually a really funny car commercial about this that
I thought was hysterical.
Speaker 8 (07:53):
Energy vampires. So here you go with the twenty twenty
five terms out. That's hard for me because I feel
like people have this thing what are always like, especially
about men, They're like, men don't talk enough about themselves.
We don't women are on days, so we don't even
know what the man is about. So like now I
think a lot of guys are talking too much about
themselves and over sharing about themselves, and women are like now,
(08:16):
I don't want that either.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Sex Doctor Heather is here and he is a sexologist.
Doc Valentine's Day is just around the corner. The secrets
to finding true love. And I bring this up because
some people don't know how to let go, so what
(08:41):
happens they never find their true love?
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Your thoughts?
Speaker 9 (08:46):
Yes, Oh my gosh, Patty, I love this this.
Speaker 8 (08:48):
I could talk all day about this because you have to.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
When you said let go, I think that's huge because
first you have to recognize what you have to let go, Patty.
Speaker 8 (09:00):
Some people have.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Baggage or just trauma from pat from their past, childhood
or familial bonds, things like that, and when they have
a partner, they really know that that's not the person
their person I'm going to say, right, So many people
get partnered because they want to body next to them, Patty.
(09:22):
And you know what I mean, Oh, I just I'm
tired of being alone. So the first person that came along,
they just said, Okay, our values don't need to match
because I just want to body next to me, and
they don't know how to let that.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Go and love themselves.
Speaker 9 (09:40):
The key, Patty, is to figure who you are out
first before you invite people into your space, because that
gives room for other people's beliefs and values to cover
and cloud your own, and then letting go becomes impossible
because now you've adopted all of their values and forgotten
(10:02):
about your values. And then ten years you look up
and you're unhappy, and you wonder why.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
I really love it. I really love how you summ
that up.
Speaker 9 (10:12):
Go on, go on, yes, because people. I just talked
about this with the client because she let go, and
it's amazing as a therapist to watch my clients transform. Patty,
I am ecstatic. I'm in here toasting to myself right
because these women and men and people are learning how
to love who they are, and then they're going back
(10:35):
figuring out what their actual values are because we forget
what they are when social media comes in play. We
take on people that we don't know those values, and
we forget about our parents. We forgot about our moms,
our dads if we had them, or the people who
raised us, who taught us these values that we leave behind.
(10:56):
So what we do is go back and dig in
and figure what those values are.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And then we say, you know what, this is.
Speaker 9 (11:01):
A non negotiable for me.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I need loyalty.
Speaker 9 (11:05):
Just as an example, Patty, this is a non negotiable value.
But I've been negotiating this value. Why because I want
a body next to me.
Speaker 8 (11:15):
So you gotta go back, you gotta let go.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
You need to get some therapy.
Speaker 9 (11:18):
That's what I tell everyone, you know, including me, including therapists.
So we can learn how to help people the right way,
so people can learn how to live and love themselves
at the end of the day, So you can let go.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Does he Niili is joining us?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
You know, I'm always reading. Valentine's Day is just around
the corner, and national Psychics. National psychics are sharing the
secrets to finding good love. They say, knowing when to
say goodbye because a lot of people are in situations
(11:54):
and they should be out, but they don't know how
to say goodbye.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Oh this is hit at home. Don't do me like this.
Speaker 10 (12:05):
Oh my goodness, this is hitting home for me. I
have a let's call him a returnee, somebody that I
sent away many years ago to go grow right and
sort of kind of you know, when I see you,
I see you, but this time there is a streak
of brokenness that I see.
Speaker 8 (12:23):
That as a deal breaker for me.
Speaker 10 (12:25):
At forty seven, Like I know, so much more about
myself and my knees and what I want that I
feel like I need to release him forever to really
get what I want.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Oh my god, Oops, I don't bull down your alley.
I'm stepping on your toes.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
We're gonna move on. We're going to move on to
another one.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
They're dating rules, they say, going at least three dates
with a person. They're saying within three weeks before anything
sexual pops off. Yeah, yeah that one, so that that
still holds. Don't be giving it up on the first date.
Speaker 10 (13:06):
No, no, even shout out to over forty women, I
know your thing is singing. Sho'll the hell out because
when that ooh, I was about to cut, you know,
I like to cut when that person, real person shows
up and you.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
Don't give up them drawls, it's a feeling you can't
come back from.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So yes, wait, wait, I love that one.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
How about trusting in your inner confidence to make people
like sometimes you have to recognize your own fabulousness, but
trusting in that inner self confidence mm hmm, yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I love that.
Speaker 10 (13:40):
That what we call it, that women's intuition, you know
what I mean. But in addition to that, when we
are in God. Those of us who know God, we
also get that desernment. And that's a double bubble because
sometimes God will just send you a sign and no
matter how much you tried, you can't shake it.
Speaker 11 (13:57):
Listen to that thing.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
With Valentine's Day literally around the corner. The Secrets to
Finding True Love author Kim Reid Optimis always wins is
joining us and a lot of people are saying, get
unstuck from the situation that you're in. Because you're unhappy
and because you can't let go, you won't find your
(14:23):
true love.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Your thoughts.
Speaker 12 (14:29):
I agree, you know, I think that sometimes were we
we are in our own way, no question about it.
You know, if if a relationship is what you desire,
you have to Sometimes we have to, you know, oftentimes, Patty,
we have to look in the mirror and say, what's
(14:49):
holding us back? Right, And sometimes it is us not
letting go of the past, or perhaps it is fear.
Perhaps it is just us not being happy with where
we are in our lives or who we are as people.
So sometimes we just have to get out of our
(15:10):
own way, open up our hearts and just be open
to the possibilities and just love. Great time of the year.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
This is the podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials. We've
got the.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Doula, that's all I have to call it, the Duela.
She is so into black maternal health and doing a
great job. We've got Lexi and Valentine's Day is just
around the corner, Lexi.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
The secrets to finding true love? Do you think.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Knowing when to let go, not staying in the suck
situation relationship is the key to finding true love? Because
if you stay suck in this one and you're not happy,
and you know this person is not that person, your.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
True love, your soul made. What do you think about
people who just cannot let go?
Speaker 11 (16:14):
It's that think.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
It's what it is.
Speaker 11 (16:17):
Is like that settling spirit, if you will. And so
I think as equally is knowing when to lean in.
So yes, I agree that people will settle, they will
stay in relationships that are comfortable.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I mean, we've all done it.
Speaker 11 (16:29):
I've done it in the past, and god, that's not
my current situation, but I absolutely know that that is
a thing. Because we're looking for companionship. That's the way
we were designed and wired to be connected together. But
when we don't get that, the way we want it,
we'll start compromising and making concessions.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Where we should not.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
We all got to.
Speaker 11 (16:51):
Compromise in relationships, but not on things that challenge our values,
not on things that you know aren't really like you
just said, from our soulmate and where we're meant to be.
And so I think that's one thing. Yes, we got
to learn when to let go, and we got to
learn what to lean in. So because of sometimes our
previous relationships will be in a relationship that is not
(17:12):
for us, but we won't lean in because of fear,
because of doubt, and because of some of those previous
situations where we settle. So yes, ultimately those two factors
can impact our longevity and love.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
We're approaching Valentine's Day, people are ditching the dating apps
because they want something more authentic. They don't want to
be judged just by their looks. A National Psychic survey,
now I'm always find it.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Stop.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
She had their secrets defining true love, and one of
them that struck me was not being afraid to let go.
People are in situations for convenience because they want to
body and they're not with their true love and they
know it. But by staying in the situation. You'll never
(18:07):
find that person to make you happy, but you got
to be happy with you yourself first. It's not that
someone asks to bring you happiness, but to seek what
you're looking.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
For in life.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
It may be with someone else if you just learn
to let go.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Ooh, Patty, I know this is this is deep kid,
Paddy Martin Jr.
Speaker 12 (18:35):
The King, Come on now.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
So that is the key in my forty years of
forty plus years of living, it took me this long
to finally get here. Girl, Let go. I It don't
matter who pulls up on a scene. It could beyond
the Mars, Patty Jackson. He falls up on the stand
(19:03):
and say, baby, I'm here, I'm ready.
Speaker 13 (19:06):
And you get so excited that you caught up that
we do anything. You sit here and make a Coblas
every day, don't you do it? You have to be
okay with letting go.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
If your dream person walks in tomorrow, the thing that
you ordered walks in, you still have to be okay
with that person walking out that door because it spares
you self respect.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It says you.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
Just knowing who you are as a.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Person, and you deserve better than that.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
To allow somebody to just not even that person, because
it's really you robbing yourself of your happiness for the future,
and you don't want to let it go because you
are in the space of, oh, well it's comfortable here.
Well it don't hit the boxes that you know. I
really want and need, but I'm getting some type of percentage.
(20:06):
A lot of women will tell you, well, a lot
of people, I'm getting the bills paid, but ain't nothing
else lining up. Stop wasting your time. Go out there
and get your happiness. You are holding on to trash
where the treasure is right on the other side, but
you can't get to it because you won't let go.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Most say Loren Broadcaster of real estate. Maybe and she
does it all.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Valentine's Day is coming up, mo and the Secrets to
finding love.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
People are tired first off.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Of these damn dating ams, all the swipe and swipe
and swiping.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
But a lot of people feel that people don't know
how to let go. What do I mean by that?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
They will stay in the situation where they're not happy,
they're not being treated well, it's no longer fulfilling. And
if you don't know how to step out and say no,
this's got to stop. I got an exit left. You'll
never find your true love. Do you think a lot
(21:12):
of people are just afraid to let go? I know
I've been in situations where I've overstayed my welcome in
the relationship, knowing darn well, knowing darn well, I should
have exit stage your left.
Speaker 6 (21:31):
Well, I will tell you that I think we all have.
If you've lived long enough, you've had enough experiences, and
you have been one of those people who have probably
over staged, You're welcome having been married for ten years
and now you know at the basically divorced. What I
have learned is that the best love is self love,
(21:54):
as cliche as it sounds, and I realize that for many,
many years throughout any relationships, I always sort of put
the person before me because I thought that was the
way that you sort of support your partner, right is
being selfless? Well, that is the way you do it,
But you can't do it without the reciprocation, because if
(22:17):
only one of the two of us are being selfless,
that means that somebody's not being taken care of. And
so that left me on the losing side of the stick.
And I said, well, Moselle, You got this formula all wrong.
Speaker 7 (22:30):
Girl.
Speaker 6 (22:31):
You got to love yourself more than you love anything
and anybody in this world that way. When you're not
being that way, when you're not being treated right, and
you're not being served the way you're serving, then you
know automatically that ain't a person for you. So what
I would advise people to do, especially women of a
(22:52):
certain age, because I know it's hard. Shall We all
want companionship, you know, and and it gets harder the
older you get, because unfortunately we don't have it like
the silver foxes of the world, where they get they
get better with time. You know, they're like fine wine
and they get older in there in there and they're
graying up and looking really good. We get older, honey,
(23:12):
and they want to cast us out to the dogs. Okay,
So we got to be careful not to settle for
anything just for the purpose of purposes of having something.
You know, that whole that old saying that says I'd
rather have a piece of man than no man at all. Uh,
We're not doing that. We gonna love ourselves fully and completely.
(23:33):
We're gonna understand our value, our worth, know that we
are deserving of the best of the best and hold
that line, never compromise that. And I'm saying that outwardly
because I have to also believe it inwardly. And like
I said, having having gone through a very tumultuous ten
years of a of a marriage, this is what I've
brought out of it. So whoever is in my purview
(23:55):
moving forward, just understand, do know and understand you know
that I have I have some non breakable requirements and
that's how we all should set ourselves up to get
the best in terms of our relationships in our life partners.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Powerful.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, the importance of a great conversation. That is what
this podcast is all about. Patty and the Millennials, Thanks so.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Much for joining us. Appreciate you. Dex Stuck.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
He puts everything together and you can find us where
podcasts live, SoundCloud, Spotify, Pandora, iHeartRadio podcasts and of course SoundCloud,
thank god everything Apple Podcasts. Yeah, we're there and you
can find us. Thanks for joining us. This is the
podcast conversation Patty and the Millennials.
Popular Podcasts
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!