BLACKING OUT AT MY 30NERA

In tonight’s episode of “Crystal’s Nightcap” we go home to celebrate my 30nera, some of my family is upset with me, do I blackout at my party?, the SF Botanical Garden, and MORE!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello to your beautiful party popper.It's Crystal Rosa's back with another episode of
Crystal's Nightcap. We go back hometo the Bay Area to celebrate Myra,
where some of my family is reallyupset with me. Do I black out
at my party? We head tothe San Francisco Botanical Garden and more Get
Usa. My name is Crystal roleSas. I'm a twenty something Latina who

(00:21):
just moved from California to the Bigapp Happy. Sorry that was my cat
frappuccino. They're still getting used tothe city life. Anyways, Where was
I am? Oh yeah, Itake over afternoon radio every day on the
world famous Z one hundred. Butwhen night falls, I'm looking for all
the cloud I can get and casuallysearching these streets for my Prince Charming.

(00:43):
Come on this sexy single journey wherewe'll go on a date with a new
guy from the Apps every week,host red carpets and interviews, and weissele
our way into the secret society ofNew York's top social life. Oh yeah,
and someone's always watching. That's myoverprotective mom. This is Bristol's Nightcap.

(01:07):
Okay, that's all we could playbecause I don't want to get copywritten.
But wow, another decade, Iam officially Dirty thirty. Can get
real dirty this decade now for real? I was asking like, oh my
god, how do you feel?How do you feel? I feel sexy,
I feel happy, I feel excited. Not too much has changed,

(01:30):
but like I do feel a littlemore like mature and I feel like I'm
holding myself to a little more responsibility. Did I block out on the party
bus after pasta Pelican for my Dirtythirty? I will let you know,
But first of all, thank youso much for being here for another episode

(01:52):
of Crystal's Nightcap. Please share thepod with your friend if you're really liking
it. You can hear me onthe radio Monday thro Friday t D six
pm on Z one hundred, NewYork's number one hit music station. I'm
on tons of stations across the countryon the weekends. To see which ones
on everything, I'm at La CarristolRossamen. I have a new night show
eleven to midnight. It's called TheNew hit List. You can hear me

(02:15):
on over one hundred I Heart Radiostations across the country every single weeknight on
your free iHeartRadio app or the closesttop forty station near you. Now I
want to talk about my Dirty thirtyand how that all went. Now,
I literally planned this in like twoweeks. And the problem is that last
year for my brother Junior's Dirty thirty, we had a big old batschanga.

(02:36):
It was huge. Remember that wasthe first time that we introduced Zadi to
my entire and extended family. Wehad the Dirty thirty brunch. It was
the brunch reveal, the boyfriend brunchrevealed where my family was going to meet
Zati for the first time. Andmy brother Junior wanted to bring one of

(02:57):
his one of his two as well, and we were all like annoyed about
that. That was hilary is Sothe problem is that because my brother had
such a big party last year,I feel like my family thought a lot
of my like extended family too,thought that I was going to do the
same thing, but I really didn't. I wanted to keep it really small
and intimate, just to like mybesties and just to my like just a

(03:23):
little bit of my family. Ihave a huge family. Juniors thirty thirty
was probably like two hundred people.And let me just rewind last year for
my twenty ninth birthday. I hada great birthday. I kind of got
a little too drunk at the stripclub afterwards, but I decided to have

(03:44):
a birthday dinner because birthday dinners werethe thing out here and I wanted to
do that and kind of prove tomyself that I had a squad in friends
in New York City. So Iin finded some friends I don't even really
talk to anymore, And looking back, I feel like I kind of just
did that for my own ego insteadof doing it for my truth. Even
though again I had a really goodtime. My brother Junior was there,

(04:05):
my prima Gavi was here. Itwas so fun. But for my dirty
thirty I decided that I just reallywanted to be with the people that I
one hundred percent love the most,and I wanted to keep it small.
At first, when Zaddi was like, what are we doing, babe?
What do you want to do?How can I help you? I was
like, I want to do likea limo here in New York City,

(04:26):
and just have you gave Junior maybemy primo hector. My little brother is
seven, just like ten of usin a limo. That was my initial
idea, but then I was like, wait, but what about my best
friend this? And what about mycousin this? And they're all home,
They're all in the Bay. SoI was like, you know what,
I want to have my daughty thirtyback home. I want to do a

(04:47):
party bus with all of my bestiesand my primas. But then I was
like, what about some of mytheos and what about my theos in Vegas?
Like I want them to come?And what about my Awa Lithos like
the wouldn't be part of it.I was okay, Well, then why
don't I have a small dinner atPasta Pelican upstairs in their party room and
then a party bus afterwards for allmy gratchet cousins and besties. So that's

(05:14):
what I had planned. And thething is that you can't fit a lot
of people upstairs at Pasta Pelican,so I had to be really, really
really selective on the guest list.And the annoying thing is that, like
I could not invite everybody that Iwanted to to Posta Pelican because there just
literally is not room. And soit was I said, sixty five people

(05:39):
upstairs at Pasta Pelican. Again,my family is huge, so that doesn't
even scratch the surface. But alsomy best friends that I've known since I
was five years old, and itwas just tough. I feel like I
definitely hurt some feelings with some peoplethat I couldn't invite, Like some of

(05:59):
my thea were literally after the partycalled my parents and were like, is
there beef? Like why didn't weget invited to Crystal's party? And they
were just like, listen, wehad no idea, we had didn't plan
we didn't plan it, but therewas literally like no room upstairs, and
she planned it. One of myclose cousins, like, I completely forgot.
I seriously thought that I gave herthe flyer. I mean I was

(06:21):
just at their wedding. I wasjust at their wedding. I was just
at their wedding and they let mebring a plus one. I thought that
I gave her the flyer or himthe flyer too. But I think like
somehow it just got I just forgotto. And they called my dad and
were like, Hey, how's theparty going to be later? And my
Dad's like, oh, yeah,you guys are coming. He's like,
no, we didn't get the invite. I was just like bruh, Like

(06:44):
I feel so bad. I feelso bad that I left them out.
I just when you have a hugefamily and like a lot of people like
around you, like you can't alwaysinvite everyone. So that's just like the
one thing that it kind of sucksis I really wish I could have invited
everyone. But at the end ofthe day, it was so much fun.
I told my mom. Because mymom always is so extra and likes

(07:05):
to go all out for things,I told her, I'm like, Mummy,
I don't want you to do anything. I don't want anyone having to
get there early and set up.I don't want because somebody thought. She
already has all the vases for centerpieces, the little marbles and pretty pearls for
the centerpieces. She has charter platesand runners, she has everything. Like
mummy, I don't want anything onthe tables. Just whatever pasta Pelican puts

(07:27):
out with the plates. That's it. I don't want anything on the tables
because I don't want any of usdecorating. I want us just to get
there and just relax. And she'slike, no, well, you need
tenner places and you need it,and you need a banner and you need
this. I was like, Okay, I'll be in charge of the balloons.
So I ordered balloons and I wasjust like, I don't want to
pick them up. I don't wantto deal with none of that. I
just ordered balloons to be delivered fromParty City period number two. She was

(07:53):
like, I want to do thecenterpieces and I'm going to do some flower
stuff. So Zaddy, my boyfriend, was like, Babe, what can
I help you with? I waslike, you can help my mom figure
out the centerpieces. I don't knowwhat she's doing. My mom also ordered
these huge banners and then I orderedlike a selfie light to like take pictures.
And Zaddy was over at my mom'shouse the night before setting up the

(08:16):
center pieces and all that and makingthe bouquets of flowers. He is not
an artistic guy. He's not acreative guy, like he is a number
is an analytics guy. Analytics guy. I am the creative one. So
when I heard that he was outhere literally making bouquets and like gluing little
ribbon around the vases to make itlook cute. He's a real one.
He is such a real one.My little brother is Stepan. He was

(08:37):
working so he couldn't really help much. But my dad was in charge of
the coolers for the party bus.I was like, Boppy, can you
just be in charge of getting thealcohol and the chasers and the waters and
the ice and the lean oness andall that stuff for the party bus.
He's like, sure, no problem, and he's really good at that stuff.
He loves that stuff. So hedid that, so everyone did a
little bit. My brother Junior,he actually went early too to set up

(09:01):
as well. So Friday, Iget in and by that time, Daddy
and my mom has already done allthe sunder pieces and stuff. He picks
me up. I get in Fridaynight, and then Saturday morning we just
tooted and boot it to my mommy'shouse. Me Zaddi his son, who
I love amazing, and we justgo to my mommy's house and we get

(09:22):
ready and then we skirt over toPasta Pelican and I just kind of help
fine tune everything. Yo Zaddi printokay. So also my cake, my
Nina Eileen, Oh, my NinaEileen and Juvie they also helped set up
everything as well with my mom theday of and she wanted to be in
charge of my cake, so theyasked me what had a cake I wanted.

(09:43):
I was like, I want thepicture of me and Frappy and address
on the cake. But apparently noneof these shops do photo cakes anymore,
so they couldn't find anywhere to doa photo cake, so they just did
what they had to do. AndZaddy was kind of upse that we couldn't
find any place to do the photocake. So what he decided to do
was go and print out huge postersof me with the photo of me and

(10:09):
Frappy. He printed like three ofthem huge, and they had them set
up at the salon a pasta Pelican, and I couldn't believe it. Knowing
me, It's like, you canbelieve it, but honest and you know
me, like I am extra.I love myself. I love the attention,
but I don't love myself on theattention enough to actually print out a

(10:31):
huge poster of myself for my ownparty, Like I would not do that.
I want my face on my cakefor my party. Yes, I
don't need a huge poster of meat my party. But when I saw
it, I started cracking up,just me and Frappy there vibing. I
thought it was so funny and hilarious, an extra and kind of loved it,

(10:52):
really loved it. So we hadthose printed out, and I was
just so excited because like everyone thatwas gonna come where it's just like my
crem dela Creme, like my ninolesand my cousins, and like literally because
I could not invite everyone, Iinvited some cousins and I couldn't invite some
of their siblings, or I couldn'tinvite some of their parents. Like that's

(11:13):
how small pasta Pelican upstairs is kindof is what it is. But one
by one everyone started showing up andI was just so happy, and Zaddi's
siblings showed up, and Zaddy's grandmashowed up, so our table was us
and they don't go out very much. They have a lot of kids,
so they can't really go out alot, so it was a big thing

(11:37):
for them to be both away fromthe kids. And she looked so beautiful
and we were just like eating andtalking having fun, and as people were
lining up to get food, Iwas just talking to everyone for a little
bit, one by one, andthat was my time. Because when you're
hosting a party like that, whenit's your party, it's really hard.
I didn't realize how hard it wasto host parties like that. I don't.

(12:01):
I think the last big party Ihad for myself was literally my Kainsanna.
That was the biggest party that I'vehad for myself. I had my
twentieth, my twenty first birthday atmy house of my family. But and
I have little things here and there, but a huge party just for me.
I haven't thrown myself one. Soyou're trying to go around and you're

(12:22):
trying to make sure everyone's good,and people are coming in, they're giving
you gifts, You're trying to sayhi to them, trying to make people
feel included. Yo. People keptcoming and coming, and I sent the
invites very late, hoping that somepeople would say no, Like I obviously
want to see everyone, but Iwas hoping that some people would back out
because it was just too late inadvance. So I kind of asked for

(12:45):
a rough head count, and somehowit like was thrown off a little bit.
People kept coming and coming and coming, and I was like, oh
my gosh, like I forgot,I forgot, I forgot. We didn't
even have enough tables, Like wehad to literally go get tables from the
back. We had to put teaon the dance floor for my cousins that
came little later, and the littleduck, my nephew, my so will

(13:05):
be no Alex. He comes upto me, He's like, I'm supposed
to do a performance for you.How am I gonna do it if there's
tables on the dance floor. AndI was like, well me, hold,
there's a stage right there. Youcan dance on the stage. You're
like, no, I have mywhat us and I'm gonna do some sabbataddles
and you can't hear my stabout datole'son the carpet. I need the hardwood
floor. I was like, don'tworry me, hold, we'll move them
when it's time for you to doyour performance. So the night was just

(13:28):
so fun. It was going byreally quickly. At Pasta Pelican, everyone
kept coming up to me and asking, like, offering me drinks, offering
me a shot, offering me this. I was like, I'm gonna take
it slow, like thank you somuch. I only took I think maybe
two shots at Pasta Pelican and Ihad a beer and a'm margarita. That's
it. Because I wanted to takeit slow. I wanted to save myself

(13:50):
and survive the party bus for after. So we do the bust and I
do a little speech saying thank youto everyone, saying how you know last
sure, I had my birthday inNew York, and for my thirtieth,
I just wanted my people here thatI love so much, and I just
really felt the love and we sangHappy Birthday. And then my little my

(14:13):
little nephew, Alex, he didhis sabatos, his performance. He performed
and Gabi lan for me and itwas just so beautiful. He is just
a star. He loves performing,he loves putting on for our familia,
and I just was so thankful thathe did that. And b before I
knew it is a ready time toget on the party bus. And I

(14:37):
have so much going on. I'mtrying to say hi to everybody. Zaddy's
like the party buses here, Likewhat do I do? I'm like,
I don't know. He's like he'scalling. I was like, can you
handle it please? So poor Zaddyhe had to be the one to handle
all that stuff because I just Iliterally my brain could not. So I
get on the mic. I'm like, you guys, we have thirty minutes
for everyone to grab their stuff andget ready for the party bus. If
you'd like to come on the partybus, come, If you want to

(15:00):
stay back, stay back. Theparty bus was for forty five people.
I had thirty people confirmed for theparty bus, which was perfect because you
kind of want space. You don'twant to be all squished up. And
I know some of my theos didwant to go on the party bus,
but they kind of were tapping out, getting tired. It was really like
ten ten thirty regardless, We're allpacking up, and I don't want my
mom to get stuck with putting allthis stuff away, So I tell all

(15:24):
my friends and my being amost likeeverybody like, let's start doing what we
needed to get done and drag everythingout to the car so my mom doesn't
have to do all this by yourself. So at Tritolos, we were able
to get everything out, and ourfamily is just so amazing. Everyone's ready
and willing to help and just askingwhat we need. And by that time
everything was cleared out Apasta Pelican andthen I'm wobbling down in my ugs and

(15:48):
in my huge at Ketsanata mermaid dressand my Tiara. I got like gloves
for all my girlies and tiaras forall my girlies too, So we all
felt like it was our night andwe headed over to the party bus.
Now, the plan was the firstplace we're going to go to was to
go visit my piddy, my Jessica, who we all know. She's ending

(16:10):
her second treatment of chemo right now. She's battling leukemia and we always says
she could have been there, butshe couldn't. So I told her,
well, then if you can't cometo the party, the party's gonna come
to you. So the first offwas going to be to pull up to
my Pidy, my Jessica's hospital roomand just kind of be outside of the
window and just like pop confetti andmake a ruckus and just let her know

(16:32):
that we love her and that we'rethere for her. And then we're going
to head to a lounge and thenwe were gonna be pretty much done after
that. I mean, by thetime you get there and I'll do all
this stuff, time goes by reallyreally fast. So we're on our way
from Pasta Pelican to USF in thedeep cuts of San Francisco, and I'm

(16:52):
calling her. She's not answering.I'm calling her, she's not answering.
I'm called her like seven times.I facetimed her like ten times. She's
not answering. I'm like, shoot, I think she he's asleep. So
I call her brother, my moreJoseph. I'm like, yo, Joseph,
what's going on. He's like,let me try getting in touch with
her. So he tries, hecan't. I'm like, oh my gosh,
she's asleep, Like what are wegonna do? So I'm a little

(17:12):
stressed. I mean, immediately we'reall pouring shots. Like immediately, it's
just reckless and ratchet. As we'reon the way there, the party bus
is super wobbly, so like we'retrying to pour shots, but like the
alcohol is going everywhere. It's ahot mess. We we love it.
My brother has a digital camera likea video and a regular digital camera that

(17:32):
he brought with us so that wecan take photos and videos on SD cards.
And we're just getting a ratchet onthe bus on the way there.
Now we pull up to usf andagain she's not answering, and Zadi's like
a babe, like what's going on? Like what should I do. How
can I help. I'm like,I don't know what to do. He's
like, do you want me tojust try to go up? And I'm
like, yes, please take astem on in Junior and try to go

(17:55):
up and just knock on her door. I don't know if they're gonna let
us in, but just try it. So he's like okay, So they
go, they go, and thenext thing I know, I'm getting a
FaceTime from Jessica. Zaddy, mybrother Junior, a brother, and miss
Sevon are in Jessica's room with hermom too, and we're just like,
hey, what's up. And sowe're all outside. We all made posters

(18:15):
for my video I saying we loveyou, stay strong, we love you
Jessica, and I got confetti poppersfor all of us, and we all
popped these big confetti poppers for her, and we're just kind of like being
reckless and loud, and we're alljust kind of like Hyphie and turning up
for her. And it was sobeautiful, and our bus driver he was
like crying. He was like,I've never seen something like this, Like

(18:37):
this is so nice of you guys, And I'm like, this is the
least we could do. She isliterally finishing her second round of chemo right
now. We're just waiting for herto be one hundred days done, which
is going to be in June inremission. And you know, she would
totally do this for us ten timesover. So I'm so happy we're able
to just see her. I didn'tgo up to the room because there was

(18:57):
just so much going on downstairs.But I'm really happy that my man's in
junior and seven were able to goand say hi to her and bring her
some spirits. And I was justlike, was she mad that we woke
her up? And He's like,no, she loved it. Like they
were so happy, like your theawas so happy, Like they just loved
that you actually woke them up todo that. So it was amazing.
It was everything. We kept getback on the party bus and I'm just

(19:19):
thinking, like, wherever we goand pull up right now. First of
all, like the night life scenein the Bay is kind of tough.
All the lounges that I found closedout one and it was already like twelve
thirty at this point. I'm justlike, bro, by the time we
pull up, get everybody up inthere. I just don't think that any
lounge or club is gonna let us. And there's so many of us,

(19:41):
there's thirty five of us ended upbeing thirty five and it ended up being
perfect amount of space. We werenot crimped at all on the bus.
I was like, bro, canyou just take us to some view spots?
And he's like sure, So hestarted driving us around. We stop
at the Golden Gate Bridge, weget off and take photos and video and
we drink a little more. Andthen by the time we're getting on the

(20:03):
Bay Bridge, we're out of alcoholand everyone's like there's no more bottles and
we're like bruad. So then Zaddygoes and talks to the driver, is
like, can you take us toa liquor store? And he's like okay.
Again, it's like it's like whatat this point we go to We
pull up to liquor store at atOney, I don't know. We go
to a liquor store in Richmond.They're all closed by the way. Finally

(20:26):
we find one open in Richmond.Zaddy gets off by three bottles of patron,
gets back on the bus and wejust start shoving it to the face.
Everyone's drinking more. There's beer.There's patron everywhere. I am like
blurring but not blacked. And mindyou, we're all pretty much thirty.
Like there's some of us that area little younger, but we're all up

(20:48):
there. Some of us are moms. I just have to say so thank
you so much, because some ofmy cousins came out and they have kids,
and they had kids with their parentsor kids with their husband's at home,
or some of my friends, liketheir partners didn't want to do the
party bus. They're like, that'sdoing the most. I'm not going to
do that. So they came bythemselves. And that's the energy that we

(21:12):
deserve to give to each other,That's what I'm saying. And I love
that. And I was so gratefuland so thankful that they all pulled up
and really mustered through because I knowthat having that party bus until two thirty
was bold of me, because Ibarely even stay out that late anymore.
I remember, I'm not lying aboutthat. I've told you that I've kind

(21:33):
of ventured into some note of lifea little bit, and it's true,
like it is truly, I reallydon't be out that late anymore. So
I knew it was even a strugglefor me, but everyone survived and I
had so much fun. And thenafter the party bus we all get back
to pasta Pelican. Everyone's taking theirride shirts home and me and Zaddy tak

(21:55):
a right share too his house.Bro, tell me why this poor little
man? Okay, So the thingabout Zaddie and I've shared before, he
is a lightweight, Like he wasa dad at nineteen, a very involved
dad. He has his son halfthe time, so he wasn't out and

(22:17):
about getting a ratchet like He's hadhis like ratchet like moments. But me,
my entire twenties was just ratchet andlike, honestly after fifteen years old.
So so I've had a good fifteenyears of being ratchet. So I
still haven't even like learned my limits. I'm kind of working on that.
Remember, but he like does notdrink. And when we met a year

(22:37):
ago, like he did not drinkat all. Like we would go out
this I remember we would go outand even one time he was like we
were just walking around the streets ofNew York and it was like a Sunday,
and it was a summer Sunday,and there was like a market and
I was like I kind of wanta little like meetchee or something, and
he's like, I don't need todrink to have fun, Like he was
one of those, Like he wasvery one of those. And I've definitely

(23:02):
cracked his shell a little bit.We don't drink every single time we go
out, but if we're a nicedinner, we see like a drink that
kind of looks good, like we'regonna try some. We've gone like a
little schloshed together before. I've gottenlike pretty drunk around him. He's gotten
like it kind of drunk around me, but not too crazy. I told
you that I had a nightmare whereI blacked out, and I really did

(23:22):
not want to do that. Idon't want to block out in front of
him. It's just I just don'tlike who I am and become when I
black out. So can we pleasegive me a round of applause that I
did not black out. I wastotally fine, more than fine that I
even called my brothers an uber homeand on the way home in our ride

(23:45):
chair, poor little Zaddie, hewas the one that was like, I'm
like, baby, you have toroll down the window and put your head
out the window. He had toput his head out the window, and
he was so close to just gettingus one of those vomit charges, those
two hundred, all their vomit charges. I had to like rub his bald

(24:07):
head. I had to do someother things to get his mind off of
being drunk, which actually successfully worked, so he didn't yack. He did
not yack. Squad and the Uber. We got to his place and he's
just and when I'm drunk, I'mhungry. So I go into the fridge.
I get some leftover so'll beet thatI had for my mom. I

(24:29):
had some what do we have?We have some other leftovers, so I'm
warming up the leftovers. I puta garbage can next to him. He
hates throwing up. I actually neverseen him throw up. In the year
that we've been over a year thatwe've been dating, I've never seen him
throw up. And I always tellhim, I'm like, bro, just

(24:51):
like put your finger down your throatand he's like, that's gross. Like
I'm not gonna do Like, I'mnot gonna make myself throw I'm like,
babe, if you are sick,if you eat something, you're some starts
hurting you. Your body is rejectingit. Like you need to throw I'm
not telling you to like throw upall the time, but when your stomach
is hurting, if you do throwup, it does help a little bit.
And Babe, right now, likeyou have so much alcohol and toxic
sicity in your body, like youneed to throw up. He's like,

(25:14):
I'm not gonna throw I'm not gonnathrow up. So I just had him
chug water. And he's such alarge guy, like he's like an avatar.
He's so big that like I'm tryingto like get him towards the garbage,
and he's just so floppy and big. He's he's like a giraffe that
I could barely like hold his armsand things like that, trying to get
him to be okay, and liketrying to get him to drink water,

(25:37):
like like lifting up his heavy,big bald head. It's a tough feat.
But I was good and I wasable to be there for my mants.
Yes I was because I didn't blackout. Wow, look at life,
Look at God. I was likeon the like if I had maybe
two more shots, I think Iwould have out. But I'm really happy

(26:00):
that I was actually saying no tomy primo oscar who is a menace to
society. My primo, Oscar,I know you're listening. You are a
full on mennas To. He alsogot me this crazy bottle, him and
his wife. He got me thiscrazy bottle for my birthday. Thank you
so much, love you my everyone. That was when we were opening.
Parents were like, who got youthat? Who got you? That was

(26:21):
my primal Thank you, love youso much for spoiling me to the end
of the earth. Yeah, Olskotis a menace of society. He will
have a bottle and he will justbe pouring it down everyone's throat. And
he I had to reject him likethree or four times because if I said
yes to every time I posted Pelican, he was trying to have me drink
there. If I said yes toevery time Oscar tried to offer me alcohol,

(26:44):
I would have been in the hospitalwith Jessica. She lets me joke
about that. We make cancer jokesall the time. I know for some
people, cancer jokes are tough,but you know, this is her second
round of leukemia. We make cancerjokes. That's just how we are,
so you gotta laugh at something.But no, for real, he's a

(27:07):
menace of society. He is thereason that Zaddi is dead, because every
time I looked around, it turnedaround. Here comes Oscar shoving alcohol down
my man's throat. And we allloved it and were all very blessed for
him. I mean, he keepsthe party going. I guess you do,
Oscar. I love you. We'revery blessed for you. Bemost so
happy that they got to come.And Yeah, so we go to sleep,

(27:32):
wake up on Sunday, and here'sthe thing. Sunday, we told
my family to come over to Zaddi'snew place because we wanted to have a
little birthday party for Zaddie's sister's son, who was a little kid. He
was turning like four. And weinvited my parents, some of my cousins,
some of my friends, his family, and Zaddi just moved into this

(27:57):
new, beautiful, gorgeous spot thatliterally it feels like an Airbnb when we're
there. It feels like we shouldnot be there. It feels like we
should not be given the responsibility ofliving there, but we do. And
for that we think, Zaddy,you are doing it for us. Thank

(28:18):
you. I love you so much. Yeah, he got this gorgeous new
place, and it fits all ofour families. You know, he has
a really big, kind of bigfamily on his side. It's a small
it's small but big. It's hissiblings and then like five children, and
then you know, I have myMexican ask family and we roll deep everywhere.

(28:40):
Some of his friends were coming overto so we're gonna have our first
like welcome kind of like housewarming slashbirthday for the baby's birthday, and we're
having a Zaddy's house. We wakeup and we're feeling it. We're not
feeling good, but it's a beautifulday. It's like seventy degrees. It's
like ten am, and I'm like, I deserve Benny Hannah's. So we

(29:00):
order Betty Hannahs for delivery, andwe order a lot for us, and
we go into his beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous literally out of a movie,
out of a magazine, out ofarchitectural di dressed. How do you say
that? His backyard. We layout a picnic blanket on his grass and
we are just naked eating Betty Hannahsand it is incredible. Now great,

(29:26):
he has his toies on, Ihave some shorts on, but it's so
nice outside that I just want tobe tan and like we're far from neighbors,
like the neighbors can't see anything.We feel so at peace. Like
we're looking at this tree in hisyard and the tree looks kind of dead,
and he's kind of like flexing hisyard for me and what he's been
seeing in his yard, Like there'sdeer that gallivant dead ass, there are

(29:49):
deer that galavan in the in themountains, there's beautiful camellia trees and all
these things. We're looking at thislike dead tree in his yard. He's
like, yeah, sometimes i'm outhere, I'm like there's like blue jays,
there's real blue jays and they justkind of vibe there. And I'm
like, in my head, I'mlike, ain't no blue jay is gonna
come on that dead ass tree?Like why? I didn't think he was

(30:11):
lying, because he doesn't lie aboutthings like that, but in my head,
I was like, why would ablue jay come and hang out on
that dead ass tree? Literally,Like as he says that, one blue
jay comes and then I don't know, we're another one jets in, and
then three more flocked. There waslike seven blue jay on this tree.

(30:34):
And he just kind of looks atme like with that smirk, and I'm
like, did you pay them todo that? I was like, are
you dead ass right now? Likethat is that's insane. There's blue jays,
and then we're eating Benny Hannas andfeeding each other, you know,
chicken, garlic, rice, andthen here comes into family of deer,
just frollicking, gallivanting by his hugemountain in the yard, and oh my

(30:59):
gosh, it's just it's like it'sa it's a movie, it's the Notebook.
It's better. It's just heaven onearth, you know, seventy degrees
in a morning, eating Benny hanand naked with my Zaddi, hungover from
my incredible birthday party the night before, looking at nature. And you know,
when you look at my out ofmy window here, like you see

(31:19):
like the kresty, dusty streets ofNew York City, Like I have a
I'm so blessed that I got areally good COVID deal and I have a
gorgeous view right now for however longthat's gonna last, because that COVID deal's
gonna run up this year. Butwhen you look at my window, it's
just mad buildings, it's mad NewYork City, concrete and glass buildings.
And when you look out of hishis sliding glass doors, is like deer

(31:42):
and rabbits and butterflies and blue jaysand like quail. It's like a freakin'
it's like a ranch. Bro it'sa forest. It's snow white, it's
giving snow white. And I'm justso proud of him because when I first
met him, oh over a yearago, he was living in a nice

(32:05):
apartment, but he didn't like it. It was smaller, it was dark,
and he always said, like hedidn't like his apartment and he really
wanted to move, and he reallywanted to move, and he really wanted
to move. And he had toldme many times that he just like doesn't
feel inspired and motivated where he lived. And so he took a chance on
himself. He started looking at hedidn't even look around. It was the
first place that he found. Hefound this place, and he like fell

(32:27):
in love with it, and hejust signed the lease. And it's the
sacrifice that he's making. Like it'sdefinitely a lot more expensive than the place
he's living now. It has alot more space, and I know that
he's doing that for himself to likemotivate himself to get to do more and
to like push himself. And I'mjust so beyond proud of him. Like

(32:49):
this new spot could fit his family, it could fit in my family,
could fit both of our families together, and it's just gorgeous. I'm just
so so so so proud of himand so thankful he's like asking me to
help him decorate and really trying andinclude me on this and like calling it
our spot, and I'm I'm justlike beyond thankful for him, and I

(33:13):
just feel so proud and secure thathe is, Like he's provided more than
I could have even ever thought inmy whole life. Like I it's just
it's it's incredible, and I'm justreally really blessed for him and how much
how hard he works. It's reallyhow hard he works to be able to
do something like that for us.So I was it was just the best

(33:34):
morning and we didn't want to getup, we didn't want to do anything.
We told our family to pull uparound one or two o'clock and like
when o'clock is approaching, we haven'teven brushed our teeth or got in the
shower. We are disgusting. I'mlike, we really need to get up.
Like everybody else is like making foodfor us and like coming and packing
their cars to come and hang outfor our little barbecue today. And we're
just honest. So so we finallywrap up, and sure enough, like

(34:00):
at the exact same time, herecomes like Primo Leo. First, then
here comes his brother in law withhis big truck and all the chairs and
a bubble machine for the kids andlike BB guns and targets. And then
here comes his sister with all thefive kids and they're one by one running
in the house and hugging us.And then here comes my mom, and
my dad is steam On, andthe little duck and McNee and Eileen and

(34:22):
you like ever, like there weretwenty five of us just hanging out in
his yard. The kids are justrunning up the hill getting ticks. The
other kids are playing with the BBguns. My nephew Ali. Isn't it
so funny that my Sobrinido Alex andZaddie's son are like the same age.

(34:45):
So they're throwing the football to eachother and like wrestling, and all the
adults were like chit chatting and gossipingtowards each other. And my brother Junior.
He bought little mini c DJs tolike DJ. He's look in the
corner in DJing. The bubble machineis on. We're eating fruit salad and

(35:05):
like little appies. Like his sisteris a bomb chef, so she made
like pesto pasta for us and we'rejust like it's a dream day and I
could not My Kumaaa comes through.His friends are there, so we're chit
chatting with him. I cannot believehow much fun and how full my heart

(35:29):
felt. Like I just stepped outside. I was like, what do I
want to do? Do I wantto do cheesemade with the ladies? Do
I want to play poker with theguys with the dads? Do I want
to shoot the baby guns? DoI want to frolic with the deer up
there? Do I want to goinside and watch Coco melon with the kids?
Do I want to go in thekitchen with the signoras and like help

(35:49):
slice bread? Like? What whatdo I feel like doing? Do I
want to sit down and do absolutelynothing? Like I'm just so thankful that
we were able to hang out alltogether. And the one thing, the
one actual reason, one reason thatwe haven't been able to all hang out
together is because all of us don'tfit at any of our houses, Like
there's just too much of us,with all the kids, and with how

(36:09):
big my family is, we alldidn't fit together. And now Zaddy got
this amazing I'm getting so emotional,like he got this amazing place for like
there's just even more room for allof us, and I'm just so thankful
for him. And it felt likeeverything, the timing of everything just happened
perfect. And this was this wasthe first time that our families are a

(36:32):
meshing. I mean, they gotto see each other briefly at Pasta Pelican,
but not really because my parents wereentertaining their gown bothers and I was
entertaining Zaddy's family. So now likeat this party that we had at Zaddi's
house, like this little kicket,everyone was able to hang out together and
a bond together, and it waslike a dream come true. It was

(36:59):
better. It was better than oneI could have ever dreamed of a life
with my potential boyfriend ever being I'mjust so thankful. I was just like
really taking it in and trying tobe present and just thanking God. For
my amazing family and his amazing family, and the fact that they get along,
and there's like nobody's problematic, Likenot one person is problematic. Like

(37:22):
we're all just like, hey,who wants fruit? Who wants this?
Bring out the pistol? Like whowants to play like you know, who
wants some drinks? Like who wantsto play poker? Who wants to go
run up the hill? Like it'sit was just like I couldn't believe how
amazing. And everyone's getting along andlike Michael Michael mother is talking to like

(37:44):
Zaddy's sister and they're getting along andthey each come up to me. They're
like, oh my god, Ilove her so much, like we're gonna
be best friends. I'm like,I know, like I love my people.
I mean, people are just thebest. I can't I can't even
say anything else. So close tolike eight o'clock, you know, it's
dark already, so people all startpacking up things, and everyone's helping load
stuff into their trucks and we singhappy birthday to the little baby, Happy

(38:07):
fourth birthday, baby, We loveyou. You're the cutest ever. I
got into a cool little like candlespinny thing that like I don't even understan.
I can't even explain it, butlike you turn the candles on and
there's like a little carousel on thetop, and I guess the heat makes
it spin and we're all kind oflike, well look at that. And
I got a confetti for the kids, but like clean confetti. I found

(38:29):
it on Amazon where it's like nomess confetti. It still made a little
bit of mess, but we allkind of didn't really understand how to work
it, and it's actually really reallycool. I would suggest you open up
just one of them to try it. Yeah, it's like no mess confetti.
And we all were just like throwingit in the kitchen and everyone's like

(38:49):
wrapped up and took off, butlike some like Zatti's friends strangled a little
bit. And we're just like we'replanning a trip. We're planning our first
trip to Europe together. I'm soexcited because I've never been here up before,
and Zaddy and I have always wantedto go, and we wanted to
do like a big trip together thisyear, and we planned the flights and
the dates and everything, and wejust booked our flights. I just can't

(39:12):
believe it's finally happening. So thenwe kind of wind down and everyone leaves,
and then my brother Junior and mynephew Alex, we asked them if
they want to sleep over, andthen we're all having a sleepover. So
it's me, my brother, Junior, my nephew, Alex, my boyfriend's

(39:34):
son, and Zaddi and so there'sthe six of us. Wait three,
yeah, there's six of us.We're on in the living room. The
kids are playing Fortnite, Junior isdoing his little DJ thing, and me
and Zaddi were just kind of likewiped out. We're kind of like relaxing,
and Zaddi's like, wait, Ihave my Nintendo sixty four in game
cube, Like, let's try tobring it out and play it. So
Zaddi takes like an hour trying tofigure out the wires of how to put

(39:57):
it. It was tough. Itwas tough, but he finally figured it
out and then they were playing andthere's a crazy lag because he needed like
an adapter for one of the wires. So when you add adapters to things,
it brings a lag to games.So like even when they started playing,
they're like, oh my god,this sucks, but they were still
having so much fun. And thenafter that we got on YouTube and started

(40:20):
watching like scary YouTube videos and we'rejust like we were up until probably like
midnight or one am. This isyeah, just watching YouTube and just kind
of laughing and telling stories. Andme and me and Zaddy's son like we
can just yap and yap and yapand talk and talk and talk. Like
my nephew Alex like he's tired,like he wants to wind out, but

(40:43):
me, but me and and thelittle one, him and I just just
keep having stories and want to talkand talk and talk. And even Alex
is like, why do you guyshave to talk after something that happens every
time on YouTube? And we're andwe just like look at each other and
start giggling. We are all havingsuch a really good time. We started
tapping out one by one, theboys all. The little one, we'll

(41:04):
call him the little one, Zaddie'sson. The little one wanted to sleep
in the living room with Alex,which was really fun. And then so
my brother slept in the little One'sroom and then Zaddy and I just like
knocked out in his room and wewake up and Zaddy has to work,
I mean it's Monday, Zaddy hasto work. The little one and the
duck are off of school coincidentally,I don't know how, but they're off

(41:28):
school, which is beautiful, andI am like, you know what,
we should clean the house for Zaddibecause Zaddy's working right now. We all
just made a huge mess in hishouse, Like, let's start cleaning the
house. So me and my brotherJunior start getting a fight, because anytime
I try to have my brother Juniordo anything, he always is just the
most difficult. So we're fighting,but I'm trying to like clean the kitchen
and make sure the yard is clean, all these things. But finally we

(41:49):
get all together. We kind ofwant to go to the aquarium, so
the little one has to get pickedup by his mommy, so he goes
with his mommy. Me and Juniorand the duck and Zaddy. We go
to my parents' house. My parentswant to come to the aquarium and Monterey's
Hellafares, so we end up tryingto go to the Academy of Sciences,
but then we end up parking onthe street and seeing the Botanical Garden of
San Francisco, and we're like,that looks kind of nice, Like,

(42:12):
let's just hang up there for likean hour, maybe we go to the
botanical garden. It is gorgeous,It is beautiful. It is so fun.
It's separated into different regions of theworld, so you have like South
Asia and like New Zealand and likejust a whole bunch of different regions of
the world, I guess, AndI mean you're saying different trees you've never
seen before, beautiful flowers that areso amazing. And I'm just having so

(42:37):
much fun with my mom, mydad and Junior and Zaddy and the little
duck, and we're taking photos andwe're joking and trolling each other. It
is like a beautiful day in SanFrancisco. It's so nice. It's just
like a perfect day off for me. And poor Zaddi, like he's still
working, so he like has torun away to take every once in a

(43:00):
while. But he's a trooper.Like I'm very thankful that he puts our
family first and his family first tomake time for me when I'm around.
Like he could have said no andlike just kept working, but he really
makes sacrifices both ends, Like he'll, you know, when I leave,
he'll double time work and work fromthe morning till night to make up for

(43:22):
it. And I'm just like,I'm just I get so happy and I
love that my dad was off too, so we all get to spend the
day at the Botanical Garden, sogorgeous, you need to go. And
then after that we try to getout allto the California Academy of Sciences just
down the block. But we gotthere at like three and they were going
to close like four thirty or fiveor something like that, and they were

(43:43):
trying to charge us like three hundreddollars for all of us, and We're
just like, you know, sowe left. We picked up my little
brother's step on from work, andthen we all had sushi, my favorite
sushi spot in San leanro Manami Sushi, so good. Get the snow white
snow crab, snow white roll.Oh please get the snow white role.
And then after that we went backto my house, vibe for a little

(44:06):
bit, went back to Zaddy's house, stayed there and organize the rest of
his place because he just kind ofneeded a little help with some of the
rooms and where to put stuff andhow to organize things. So I finished
some of that. Then the nextday, woke up Tuesday and poor Zaddy,

(44:29):
so Satdy was working a little bit. But I also had to go
to the DMV to renew my license. I'm thirty years old and I needed
to renew my license, so Ihad to get all glam for my license
picture. Zaddy is a real onefor coming with me. He had to
step out and do some work callswhile I was just waiting for F twenty
six to get called. My felworks there. But actually I was able

(44:51):
to get an appointment and I wasin and out within an hour of waiting,
so it was not the worst.I mean, we've all had very
bad experiences at the DMV, andthat was not the worst. After that,
we went to get that Goes myfavorite spot that go see Aaloa on
International and twenty third Man. It'sgetting so bad in Oakland. Like I
grew up in Oakland. I grewup in Oakland and San Leandro and Hayward,
and I've never seen the just it'sjust it's worse than it's ever been.

(45:21):
I remember growing up like you'd see, you know, be a tent
here and there or some like makeshiftshelters here and there. But like the
entire free way like fence is justfilled with like tents and makeshifts home for
the homeless. And I just feelso bad and Oakland needs so much help.

(45:45):
It needs a lot of help.I don't know what the city is
doing. I feel like they're justkind of letting everyone do whatever they want,
just run rampant. The crime isso out of hand, like it's
it's such a bummer to see,Like, guess I'm not saying look when
we see that, because it wasjust so it wasn't that bad. It
was beautiful, and some parts reallyare still beautiful. But dang, it's

(46:09):
just it's really heartbreaking to see howmuch struggle like our people are going through.
And I just don't even know whatwe can even do about that.
So got some thought Gules, andthen Zaddy went to go pick up the
little one from school, and Iwent to go pick up the duck from
school. I stole my brother's workvan, and I picked up the little

(46:31):
ducky Alex, and he was sohappy to see me. He was so
surprised. I surprised him with soboba, and then I got Zaddi's son,
the little one boba too for whenthey got back and then by the
time that I was getting it outthe car, his entire boba was built
on the floor. So then meand the little duck had to run back
to a different bob was bought toget boba for him again. It was
really funny. And then we wentto my house and we're going to open

(46:52):
my presents from my party, andwe were actually cooking. One of our
good friends, Jeremy was over rememberedduring the pandemic, one of my good
friends. He would come over andhe's a chef, so he would like
make these crazy spreads. So hewas there and he was helping us cook
some steaks and some adositole, andyeah, we're just bubing me at my
parents' house. Did the presence.My family and my friends are just so

(47:15):
generous to me, and they reallywent off for my birthday. Like I
actually got all the money from theparty bus that I paid back essentially,
like all the money that my friendsand family gave me, it completely covered
the party bus. So thank youso much for that. They did not
have to like I'm thirty, likeI don't need presents, I don't need
anything, but that really helped out. And then Zaddy booked my flight and

(47:38):
then back to New York City.But I pulled up and I just felt
really rejuvenated and I felt really good. Like I was struggling these past few
weeks. It's been a long timesince I've seen my family. When is
the last time I saw them,Like probably January or early February. I

(47:59):
don't know what I went back for, but it was a lot. It
felt like the longest time since I'veseen them, and I was not doing
well. I was I was reallynot doing well. So just seeing them
gave me just so much more appreciationfor all of them. And seeing all
my besties too, all my pemastoo. I was so happy I got

(48:22):
to see everyone, and everyone justlike really made me feel so loved and
special for my birthday because, likeI said, being out on a party
bus is that's doing a lot untiltwo thirty morning at our age, and
a lot of my family, likethey don't live right there. They have
to drive from you know, Fairfield. Some family drives all the way from
San Jose, and I'm just sothankful that they made the time for me.

(48:44):
When my py mos drove in fromFresno, and it's just like,
I'm just so thankful. I wasjust like looking around on the bus and
at Pasta Pelican, just so happyand just filled with love that so many
people came out just to celebrate myday with me, And then just so
lucky and thankful that we got tocelebrate at Zaddy's house the next day and
I got to see his new amazingplace and what he's been able to do

(49:07):
for us, and I just Igot home feeling so so so so happy
and full and back to work herein New York City, and I just
feel so still so happy and thankfulthat I'm here and that I get to
do this. I know this isn'tpermanent. I don't know how long I'm
going to be here for, butjust to see the beautiful buildings and just
to get back on the train andthe bus and back to my routine here,

(49:30):
I'm just really excited about it.And not only that tomorrow morning,
Zaddy's pulling up. He's going tobe here this week, so I think
I do have to take a breakand I won't be back next week because
I try to spend as much timewith him when he's here, because he
loly flies across the country for me, So I'm going to take a break
next week. But it's been areally great week so far, and I'm

(49:52):
just going to clean up a littlebit tonight for work and back into it.
We have such a fun weekend plan. Thank goodness, I don't have
to come in and be on air. I have a remote. There's a
new grad opening for a store calledminissoon Times Square, and I'm lucky enough
to be doing the grand opening,so I'm working a little bit there.
But it should be really really fun. And I have like awesome reservations planned

(50:15):
for us. We're doing like aFrank Sinatra impersonator night where he's gonna perform
at an awesome cigar bar here inMidtown. And yeah, I just have
some reservations planned, nothing crazy,but all good stuff. I'm really happy.
I think we should sign off withour daily motivator of the day.
This one is called richness of whoyou are. You don't have to know

(50:39):
every answer, you don't have towitness every spectacle, You have no need
to acquire every possession. There isnegligible value in experiencing every possible sensation.
Ooh, there is negligible value inexperiencing every situation. Joy is found not
in quantity, but in quality.Fulfillment comes as a result of discernment rather

(51:02):
than unbounded accumulation. Fulfillment comes asa result of discernment, Oh, rather
than an unbounded accumulation. You haveto allow many things to pass you by.
That gives you the time, thespace and focus to invest yourself and
what you care most about. Wow, yes, you're always missing out on
something. That's precisely what enables youto attend so well to all that truly

(51:28):
matters. Let go of any anxietyor jealousy surrounding what you might be missing.
Let go of any anxiety or jealousysurrounding what you might be missing.
Instead of trying in vain to graball you can live the richness of who
you are. Oh, instead oftrying to trying in vain to grab all
you can live in the richness ofwho you are. There is negligible There

(51:54):
is negligible value in experiencing every possiblesensation. Yeah, when you expel everything,
when you have everything, when youdo everything, it's like what else
is there to do? Like youjust become this kind of like empty vessel
of like unstimulated rut. That istrue. So joy's found in quality,
not quantity. I like this sentence. Fulfillment comes as a result of discernment

(52:21):
rather than unbounded accumulation richness of whoyou are. You have no need to
acquire every possession. There is negligiblevalue in experiencing every possible sensation. Bro,

(52:43):
That's so true. You know whatI have to tell you. Like,
when I moved here to New York, right, everyone kept saying like
the opportunities, opportunities, opportunities.Let me tell you, I feel like
I have done so much and I'mstill getting opportunity to do even more than
what I thought of and dreamed ofhere and it's so amazing and it's so

(53:08):
nice, but it's also really helpingme discern what I value and prioritize,
Like when I got here and stilllike I'm getting thrown tickets to this and
an invitation to this, and likeI've done a lot of the big,
amazing things and they were great.And now as I'm entering my third summer

(53:32):
here, I am learning that myjoy comes in the people that I'm around,
and not in the things that I'mdoing or the things that I'm buying.
I remember when I first moved here, like it was hard to keep
up because a lot of people here, you know, have their mommy or

(53:52):
daddy's credit cards, or they're livingthis fabulous life and they have the bags
and the sho And when I firststarted living here, I was like,
Okay, well everyone's wearing these likename brand things, like I want to
buy this, and I want toget myself this for my birthday. And
it's like that was the first thingthat I did for my birthday. The
first year that I lived here,I was like, I'm getting myself a
designer, this and that, andeven a Christmas ago, I was like,

(54:15):
I'm going to get myself a designand then this year I was just
like I don't need any of that. And even for my birthday, I'm
like, in, instead of spendingmoney on a bag, I want to
spend money on a big party forme with all my besties. And I
think that I'm really starting to understandthat more and and appreciate that more.

(54:38):
And I think that's like the differenceof when I first moved here to where
I am now. It's like Ireally valued the opportunities and the the this
and the that and getting invited tothis and going to that premiere and opening
night for this, and you know, a networking event for this, and

(54:59):
now I'm just like, I wantto relax at my house. I want
to be on FaceTime with my family. I want to see what my work
calendar looks like for the next timethat I can see them, and I
also want to enjoy the time thatI have here. And I'm putting like
God first, I'm making sure thatI go to church on Sundays here with

(55:20):
my church family, and I'm makingsure that I sign up for lessons for
skating so that I can do somethingfor me ice skating, you know.
And I'm kind of just reflecting onthat and my time here and when I'm
kind of now chasing traveling and Iwant to travel, you know. I'm
really excited to travel the end ofthe spring and see new places and meet

(55:45):
new people. So I think that'snow kind of where I'm at. So
I definitely see and feel this thisdaily Motivatvader today, whatever that is for
you, we're all at different places. I hope that helped you, and
I hope that motivated you, andI just want to say thank you,
so so so so so much forbeing here for the episode of Crystal's Nightcap.
Please subscribe if you haven't shared thepodcast if you're really liking it.

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I'm live here in New York CityMonday through Friday two six pm. I'm
also on every top forty station acrossthe country eleven to midnight on the New
Hitlist. I'm on tons of stationson the weekends for everything. To check
out my socials, I'm at lackof Crystal real sas. And now we're
going to get into our daily prayer. This is our prayer from the book
called Jesus Calling Enjoying Peace in HisPresence by Sarah Young. I like to

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end with the prayer. I knowyou may believe in something that you believe
in. It may not be Jesus, it may not be God. But
ultimately what religion should do is helpyou focus on love and positivity and good
energy. And that's what I believein and whatever this prayer is for you.

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If you don't believe in like ahigher being, then you can just
choose to change the words I andme to love and light. Okay,
So March twenty first today, thisone says trust me and don't be afraid,
for I am your strength and song. Think what it means to have

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me as your strength. I spokethe universe into existence. My power is
absolutely unlimited. Human weakness consecrated tome is like a magnet drawing my power
into your neediness. Human weakness consecratedto me is like a magnet drawing my

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power into your neediness. Oh,I love that, however fear can block.
However fear can block the flow ofmy strength into you. Instead of
trying to fight your fears, concentrateon trusting me. When you relate to
me in confident trust, there isno limit to how much I can strengthen
you. Remember that I am alsoyour song. I want you to share

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my joy. Live and conscious awarenessof my presence. Rejoice as we journey
together toward Heaven. Join me insinging my song. Isaiah twelfth two through
three, Psalm twenty one six.Let's talk about this line. Human weakness
concentrated to me is like a magnetdrawing my power into your neededness. Instead

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of trying to fight your fears,concentrate on trusting me. When you relate
to me in confident trust, thereis no limit to how much I can
strengthen you. Doesn't that make youfeel so secure? Whenever I am reading
about trusting me I will give youstrength, and hearing that our God gives

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us limitless and strength and abundance andlove and existence, it just makes me
feel so calm, and it justmakes me feel like I'm fine, I'm
okay, I will be okay,I feel And this is a recurring pattern
with us as humans. We haveanxiety and stress about the future, something

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that we cannot control. But thisbook for me, this daily calendar for
me, just reminds me that,like the journey is said already, everything
that you want will happen and moreif you just trust God and keep living
in the joy of their presence andgive a lot, give a lot of

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thinks, give a lot of love, give abundantly first, Like the first
thing you should do is give insteadof hoping to receive, because when you
have that mindset, you will receiveone hundredfold. And that's what I've learned
by just trusting in God. Imean, you shouldn't be giving to receive.

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You should just be freely giving andbeing freely thankful. And that alone,
that thought process alone, you willreceive more one of my favorite gifts
that I got this weekend, Imean everyone that loves me and showed me
love, just even being there forme for my dirty thirty that is a

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gift in itself, but everyone.Out of all the gifts, one of
my favorite ones is the one thatZaddy gave me. He gave me a
pink Bible. And I've tried toread the Bible before when I was younger,
but it was really hard because Ididn't understand the language. But Zaddy
got me one that is easily understandableand it's just a normal language that we
can easily digest. And one ofthe mornings that we were hanging out together,

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we sat outside and we started readingour Bibles together and it's so interesting.
We were reading Song of Solomon.It's really short and it's only like
a few pages, and it's anentire love story. It's an entire love
song. It's an entire love poembetween a man and a woman, and

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like you should really read it,like whatever you believe in, you should
read it because it just like mademe feel like I am just with the
right person, because the way thatthis woman is writing about this man,
like it's just she's so googoggle,Like the language that she's using is just
so intense and honestly kind of funny, like she's whooped. She's so whooped,

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and it's really it was really funto read. And I was reading
some other things with Zaddi and justkind of like reading the Bible is is
like how can I even explain it? Like it's giving us examples on like

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things that we face that how toreact to them, and it's just been
really helpful for us. I mean, I want to want to do a
whole Bible study course, but Imean that would be kind of interesting,
but I would suget. I wouldlike challenge you to read Song of Solomon.
It's it's gonna take you probably likefive or ten minutes, and it's

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like so good and so intense.And whoever you're with, like your partner
or like, if you're on thefence about them, you should wring Song
of Solomon. And if you ifyou don't think about them and think of
them in that light, then Idon't think that you should be with that
person. Because like before I datedZaddy, you know, like I was
wating people that I kind of likedor were cool but I never like felt
really compelled to a person, andI really felt compelled to Zaddi really early

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on. And now that I'm readingSong of Solomon, like it just it's
putting into words the feelings that Ifeel for him. It's like his legs
are like two marble pillars, hislike dancing in his arms is like frolicking
with gizelles. It's just like myand the guy goes like my love is

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a lavender flower in the midst ofsticks. It's like, literally, read
it, just read it. It'sso good. It's so good. Anyways,
I don't know how I got there, but yeah, just I hope
that this prayer helped you. Andeven reading the Bible is making me feel
very comfortable and very like not stressedabout this coming summer because I've told you
before like I have a lot ofimportant decisions to make. So yeah,

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anyways, anyways, you have itus. Thank you so much for hanging
out for another episode, and Ihope you enjoyed the prayer. To wrap
it all up, you know,I kind of ramble on about stuff like
that, but no, for real, like I said, reading songs,
read a Song of Solomon, it'sso good and again. This prayer book
is called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I like give it to all my

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friends and family because I think it'sso important and I hope that it's helping
you. I love, love you, and I'll see you on the next one.