March 4, 2025 • 14 mins
On today's episode we discuss if we have used any of Dr. Sadie's gifts and more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Tuesday, which means more wild thoughts.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Yeah, brock, Yeah, let's do this ship, Jeff, do you.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Want to read us in excerpts from the new book
you're reading?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yeah, I mean I haven't haven't fully read through it yet.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
But the pages stuck together like that.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, it looks sticky. This is an erotic novel you're reading.
What is it?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
This is one of the novels. It's called writeem Cowgirl.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
Doctor Sadie Allison brought for us. Yeah, well I've I
left him here in the studio in case you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, but again, answer the question why are the pages
all stuck together?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
But they're not.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
It's a brandy book.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
You brought it home and then brought it back here.
Has any does anyone want to mean that they've opened
up their bag of toys yet, because she dropped off
a lot of what she called bedroom accessories, and everyone
knows they were lying, and so now I'd like to
hear some truth, Jess, I still have not. God, I no,
I don't know if I bought that she looked down
(01:02):
into the left when she said that.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I thought it was up into the left.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It doesn't matter as you're looking up and general direction.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
One of the things now because I'm reading from.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
The book doesn't count all right with Selena any admissions.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Actually, I forgot about those until you just where are they?
They're in my closets. Still your kids are going to
find them? Well, I feel like now they're buried under clothes.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
I don't see it. I haven't seen them in days,
So what's gonna end up happening to them? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
A sex toy that doesn't get used never fulfills its
life's mission.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Do we donate them?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No, those are not donating because why if they're new,
they don't how do you verify that they're new? It's yeah,
you would have to sniff them. But like that poor
worker at the Salvation Army where you drop them off
as a donation, is you'n be like, not really sure?
But maybe no, put it in the used pile. I
(01:56):
keep it for myself. Mine are still in the bag
in the back of my car, which almost became make
very embarrassing incident because I'm assistant coach on my son's
baseball team, and the head coach was like, hey, I'm
going to be gone. This was for this past Saturday.
So this was last week. He's like, I'm not gonna
be able to host Saturday's practice. I have my kids
other you know, big basketball game or something. I'm gonna
(02:17):
give you all the baseball stuff. So he's like helping
carry it to load it in the back of my
car because he's like, you have room for the baseball
bags and stuff. And meanwhile, there's a sack full of
sex toys back there, which god, thank god had not
like spilled open and strewn about because you know, like
I'm not paying attention to what's happened that bag back there.
I'm driving open the trunk in a while, so as
I'm I'm like terrified, Oh no, I can, I can load.
(02:40):
I'll take it from here. He's like, no, this is
a lot of stuff. I'm like, okay, here we go,
and I'm like opening the back lift gate, just praying
that it's just not like dongs and dildos and shit everywhere.
And thank god they were still packing nicely, not.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Taking those inside your house yet Where am I.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Gonna put him in something out that terrifies me? In
your bedroom? My kids? Are my kids stumble across.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
That throw it in the closet like I did.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I don't know. My kids like playing hide and seek
a lot, and like they hide and like crawl, and
then the off people are like, you want to play
it and seek? And those little fuckers are crawling in
every little spot in my house, ruining it. By the way,
I have to repaint all the walls already, Oh my god,
and greasy hands have just screwed everything up.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Can't bring my kids over.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I can't. I can't have any more kids. Kid, you're
gonna have so much fun the spill stuff. I mean,
I have to repaint the entire stairwell already, just handprints
and stuff just smeared all down the water. It drives me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So what are the chances you'll ever use those?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Probably slim to none. But I'd have to either, like
Selina said, donate them, or like, why if I have
to throw them into my trash, can I have to
like disguise them somehow, because you know, my trash guy
is going to be like, whoa, what's happening in their house?
Sex toys just flying out off the shop.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
But what if some of your wife wants the stuff?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Well, I'll ask her then I'll bring it.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Up at least do that or gift them to her
for like Mother's Day.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Now, see what I will hold on to someone for. Actually,
because we every year we do a white elephant Christmas
gift exchange.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Oh that's perfect with our.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Old group of neighbors from Sarah Fell. And every year
someone has thrown a sex toy into the mix and
it gets stolen max number of times every time, which
is hysterical to watch to see who steals the dildo.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Oh my god, I would never do that.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Every year it does because everyone's pretty drunk at this point,
Like you know, I think I feel like they're like, well,
fuck it whatever, I'll grab the dog. And it always
so I now have an arsenal I'm like.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Has your wife ever stolen it?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
No, it's never. I don't know that she's ever been
had the right number to be presented with that opportunity,
So I don't know how she'd react in that situation.
But I did tell her because I told her I
got a you know, a gift bag from doctor Sadie Alison,
and I said, either you know, we have a bunch
of stuff for us to try, or we're stocked up
for the white Elephant gift exchange for like the next
six years. And then she just laughed. So I don't
(04:52):
know which one, you know, like.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
With like a nervous laugh.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I don't know if that like haha, no keeping for
us are like hah yeah, we're stocked up for the
gift exchange. It felt like it was more for the gift.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I have enough to do both.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
True.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, but you know when you're scrambling last minute to
find a gift for a gift exchange, you're like, fuck,
I should have bought something earlier. Now I just go
to the trunk of sex toys and I can just
pull one out or two or whatever and then just
gift away. So like it might be good.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Now Jess with an excerpt from her favorite book she's reading.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Well, I just I want it because this is not
just a word book, it's a.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Picture book as well.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You got oh, so I want to.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Show you some of the locations that doctor Sadie Allison
has in here, and.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
I want to know like body parts or like to
do it places you could do it, like the sexercizer.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
So you hop a board for the ultimate cardio workout.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
This looks you're like running on the treadwill.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Oh wait what what it's on like the cable machine
and the woman's working out her upper body as she is.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
What the hell she's like using the machine to lift
herself up and down.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, this is Selena. You get a bowflex and then
like just like hammer away. I like, no one is
doing that these when just this picture book, I was
hoping for actual picture. These are sketches, unfortunately. But the sexerciser,
this exerciser is a good. Oh door jamming. Now this
one you just get in the door in the in
(06:22):
a door jam and just you know, pound away. Pie
in the sky. What's that? Oh that's an airplane bathroom. Oh,
of course you do. You're sick. Ah the Jolly Forester Selena.
This is a guy bending his lady over a hammock.
And that doesn't seem easy because if you've ever gotten
(06:43):
in a hammock before half the time this fall that
you fall right out of there. Now, how about this one?
This one is called Stairway to Heaven and it's two
people just hammering away on the stairs.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
I have stairs.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
How do you do that like that? In this picture?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Are they carpeted?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
It looks like he's munching the carpet if you if
you will, you can't tell. If these I would recommend
carpeted stairs, right, what are yours?
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Yeah, they're carpeted. Yeah, dirty carpet though.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Are you talking about what your dude's gonna be munched?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Or the stairs? We're both stairway to heaven. Interesting.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
There's another one on there where it's like in the kitchen,
but it looks like it's wold cooking, which.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
No one's doing any of these.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I'm looking at a shower of power and it's just
this squeaky clean fun And this one the woman has
to be holding this show. She's reaching all the way
up to hold the shower head to brace herself, and
then it's just a shower pal too short for that.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Also it's detachable. It would just like pop.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Right, just rip right off fall and get injured. You
guys can't reach your own shower head.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
I can barely, I think on my tippy toes I can.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah. Oh yeah, this one's called soul Kitchen. Things look
a little messy on the counter, as they've clearly spilled
U a few beverages while there is something cooking on
the stove as somebody who's concerned with safety. Her hand
is dangerously close to the cook top there, which is
clearly hot. But she's sitting on the countertop and this
guy's got his pants around his ankles. These illustrations are
(08:15):
pretty I'm so education, they're pretty educational.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
We like know, the author of this book, like she
was sitting right here, I know.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And she sketched. Did you notice that all those sketches
look a lot like me, Like I have I have
a feeling she like took a mental picture and then
went home and like sketched.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Me, Jess, I know that you have other things to do.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Just hang on a second, because can we talk about
Army Hammer really quick?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Uh? Are is that the guy that was, yes, the
cannibal guy and then he went to go sell time
shares in Mexico? Yeah or something like that.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, he was like depressed after getting like blacklisted from
like Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And for trying to eat people.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Right, and then.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
He's back and he's he's like he's doing any acting.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
But he has a podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Oh of course he does the Army Hammer time podcast.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Oh, don't besmirch the great name of mc hammer.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
What does he do? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
But in this most recent episode, he was talking about
the time he tried to hook up with the guy.
Mind you, all the relationships we heard we've heard of
involving him have been with women. All all the people
that he was wanting to like eat their ribs and.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Stuff, it was women.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah, but he's open for business both sides.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, I guess he just wanted to experiment. He because
he was like he had just gotten out of a breakup.
He's like, oh my god, women are the worst. And
like gay guys, they seem like they have it so easy.
They're like always having fun and stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
He's like, let me just like shirtless on boats, like
on vacation and stuff. I was like, how do you
guys do that?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And so he got on Grinder Okay, okay, and then
he's an He said, he's at a restaurant and his
phone is like blowing up and he's getting all these
notifications from Grinder, and someone was messaging him like, Hey,
I'm at the same restaurant as you.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Do you want a blowjob in the bathroom and so
and so the guy was like yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
So he was like to everyone at the table, He's like, hey,
guys be back in five minutes. He goes to the
bathroom where he meets this guy. He said, it was
a handsome guy French, and he's like, okay, like maybe
this could work.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
So he's trying this thing out.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
He said, quote, I remember I started making out with him,
and I just remember being like, oh my god. Beard's
like now I get it why women like when you
shave the hair was the beard was in the way.
He's like, how do I even get in there? Like
this is just so much fucking beard.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I wouldn't want to make out with a.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Beard like me either, just I how to do it.
He says.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
He was also put off by the man's size, not
down there, just like just how big he was. He
put his arms around the guy and he's like, oh
my god, his shoulders are so wide. He's so big,
He's like almost my height. It was weird, he said. Physically,
it did nothing, not even a twitch. And then because
because he's just like going through the motions. The other guy,
(11:00):
the French guy from Grinder, he tried to like reach
down and touch his his wien skirts, but it was soft,
and so he was like, no way, am I gonna
let this guy touched my soft stuff, and.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
So he podcast, you can say stuff his soft dick.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Never mind, go back to saying stuff that was.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Weir and then so he put a stop to it,
didn't He didn't let the guy go any further and then.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Went back to their Applebee's meal and yeah, like nothing
never happened.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Who was listening to this podcast?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Oh my god, Yeah, somebody had to. I mean, he
has more than one listener. And then one of them
was like, I'm gonna post this article about this.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
True.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I don't seek out an army hammer hammerton army hammer.
Time you think he talks about like wanting to eat
all the people and eat their ribs and ship, because
that was some weird stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It was.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
It was weird.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Remember, that was just like weird, like cannibalistic fantasy stuff.
He wasn't actually like eating them that we know.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
He didn't actually do it, but no, the fact that
like fantasizes about that is also is you're equally as
weird whether or not he like not on a little
riblet that got cooked up somewhere, like that's irrelevant in
my mind. The fact that you're interested in doing that. Yeah,
what does Jess have to go run to a bathroom.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
No, I am filling in for Drina.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Oh you gotta go like do radio stuff. Yeah all right,
we're just gonna talk about you behind your back. Yeah,
get out of here. She's really going to the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
She takes so many ship dude, it's like three or four.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh you're still in here. You said you were leaving,
Go like.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Go do my god, she takes so many ships.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
She was like waddling like out of the studio right there,
like full clench. You know, she's going to go drop one.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
That person that we talked about in the JV show
today that shited her pants on a date that was
actually about Jess, but she tried to tell us that
we couldn't say it was about her.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah, giggle, funny story, totally not me, wink wink. And
it was you. I mentioned sitting your pants on a date.
Oh my god, I would That woman shared a TikTok
and had nine million views, Like, why would you make that?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I would never admit that to the world.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Are you just trying to go viral at that point? Like,
here's the story about the time I shiit my pants
on a day And now we're engaged and like, yeah,
you're engaged, but like six and a half years later
you got engaged. Yeah, this guy had to think about
it for a while after on the tenth date you
crapped your pants.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, it could be just what if it is like
a made up story. I would not be surprised at
this point.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
But why would you make up that story about yourself?
Be like, oh, I have this friend, Oh my god,
she just told.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Me, yeah, to get the views.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Her name's Jess C. The sea doesn't stand for anything, Jess.
See hey, why is her Instagram still that what Jess? Yeah,
it's jes s. Yeah, but why because she goes by
jet like but she.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Doesn't, she says, I'm Jess. She doesn't go by that.
The sea doesn't stand for I know, it's the weirdest thing.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
It's very interesting. We should get her back in here.
You going knock on the bathroom door?
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Are you in there?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
What does the C stand for? I don't know, you
think she because like I heard you, like you can
have a radio name like Selena, you have a radio name,
and but that's a name, Like I didn't know there was,
Like you make up radio initials I.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Think, well, obviously it was a play on like Jesse.
I think she used to go by Jesse and then
our boss was like, that's dumb, it's just Jess.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
But now it's just C. Now Jess, I want to
go by Graham C because my middle name is start
with the sea, so I could be gram Sy, yeah
you should, or grammar Cy. Grammar yeah, grammar Cy. I
like that. You don't like my mc hammer joke, Grammars
I did. But you know, do you think Jess has
ever heard of mc hammer?
Speaker 5 (14:46):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I don't think it's from Selena's that's right, so am I.
That's a good point.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
All right, we gotta run, all right,
It's Tuesday, which means more wild thoughts.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Yeah, brock, Yeah, let's do this ship, Jeff, do you.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Want to read us in excerpts from the new book
you're reading?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yeah, I mean I haven't haven't fully read through it yet.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
But the pages stuck together like that.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, it looks sticky. This is an erotic novel you're reading.
What is it?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
This is one of the novels. It's called writeem Cowgirl.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
Doctor Sadie Allison brought for us. Yeah, well I've I
left him here in the studio in case you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, but again, answer the question why are the pages
all stuck together?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
But they're not.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
It's a brandy book.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
You brought it home and then brought it back here.
Has any does anyone want to mean that they've opened
up their bag of toys yet, because she dropped off
a lot of what she called bedroom accessories, and everyone
knows they were lying, and so now I'd like to
hear some truth, Jess, I still have not. God, I no,
I don't know if I bought that she looked down
(01:02):
into the left when she said that.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I thought it was up into the left.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It doesn't matter as you're looking up and general direction.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
One of the things now because I'm reading from.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
The book doesn't count all right with Selena any admissions.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Actually, I forgot about those until you just where are they?
They're in my closets. Still your kids are going to
find them? Well, I feel like now they're buried under clothes.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
I don't see it. I haven't seen them in days,
So what's gonna end up happening to them? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
A sex toy that doesn't get used never fulfills its
life's mission.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Do we donate them?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
No, those are not donating because why if they're new,
they don't how do you verify that they're new? It's yeah,
you would have to sniff them. But like that poor
worker at the Salvation Army where you drop them off
as a donation, is you'n be like, not really sure?
But maybe no, put it in the used pile. I
(01:56):
keep it for myself. Mine are still in the bag
in the back of my car, which almost became make
very embarrassing incident because I'm assistant coach on my son's
baseball team, and the head coach was like, hey, I'm
going to be gone. This was for this past Saturday.
So this was last week. He's like, I'm not gonna
be able to host Saturday's practice. I have my kids
other you know, big basketball game or something. I'm gonna
(02:17):
give you all the baseball stuff. So he's like helping
carry it to load it in the back of my
car because he's like, you have room for the baseball
bags and stuff. And meanwhile, there's a sack full of
sex toys back there, which god, thank god had not
like spilled open and strewn about because you know, like
I'm not paying attention to what's happened that bag back there.
I'm driving open the trunk in a while, so as
I'm I'm like terrified, Oh no, I can, I can load.
(02:40):
I'll take it from here. He's like, no, this is
a lot of stuff. I'm like, okay, here we go,
and I'm like opening the back lift gate, just praying
that it's just not like dongs and dildos and shit everywhere.
And thank god they were still packing nicely, not.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Taking those inside your house yet Where am I.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Gonna put him in something out that terrifies me? In
your bedroom? My kids? Are my kids stumble across.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
That throw it in the closet like I did.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I don't know. My kids like playing hide and seek
a lot, and like they hide and like crawl, and
then the off people are like, you want to play
it and seek? And those little fuckers are crawling in
every little spot in my house, ruining it. By the way,
I have to repaint all the walls already, Oh my god,
and greasy hands have just screwed everything up.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Can't bring my kids over.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I can't. I can't have any more kids. Kid, you're
gonna have so much fun the spill stuff. I mean,
I have to repaint the entire stairwell already, just handprints
and stuff just smeared all down the water. It drives me.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So what are the chances you'll ever use those?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Probably slim to none. But I'd have to either, like
Selina said, donate them, or like, why if I have
to throw them into my trash, can I have to
like disguise them somehow, because you know, my trash guy
is going to be like, whoa, what's happening in their house?
Sex toys just flying out off the shop.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
But what if some of your wife wants the stuff?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Well, I'll ask her then I'll bring it.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Up at least do that or gift them to her
for like Mother's Day.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Now, see what I will hold on to someone for. Actually,
because we every year we do a white elephant Christmas
gift exchange.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Oh that's perfect with our.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Old group of neighbors from Sarah Fell. And every year
someone has thrown a sex toy into the mix and
it gets stolen max number of times every time, which
is hysterical to watch to see who steals the dildo.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Oh my god, I would never do that.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Every year it does because everyone's pretty drunk at this point,
Like you know, I think I feel like they're like, well,
fuck it whatever, I'll grab the dog. And it always
so I now have an arsenal I'm like.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Has your wife ever stolen it?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
No, it's never. I don't know that she's ever been
had the right number to be presented with that opportunity,
So I don't know how she'd react in that situation.
But I did tell her because I told her I
got a you know, a gift bag from doctor Sadie Alison,
and I said, either you know, we have a bunch
of stuff for us to try, or we're stocked up
for the white Elephant gift exchange for like the next
six years. And then she just laughed. So I don't
(04:52):
know which one, you know, like.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
With like a nervous laugh.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I don't know if that like haha, no keeping for
us are like hah yeah, we're stocked up for the
gift exchange. It felt like it was more for the gift.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I have enough to do both.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
True.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah, but you know when you're scrambling last minute to
find a gift for a gift exchange, you're like, fuck,
I should have bought something earlier. Now I just go
to the trunk of sex toys and I can just
pull one out or two or whatever and then just
gift away. So like it might be good.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Now Jess with an excerpt from her favorite book she's reading.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Well, I just I want it because this is not
just a word book, it's a.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Picture book as well.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You got oh, so I want to.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Show you some of the locations that doctor Sadie Allison
has in here, and.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
I want to know like body parts or like to
do it places you could do it, like the sexercizer.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
So you hop a board for the ultimate cardio workout.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
This looks you're like running on the treadwill.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Oh wait what what it's on like the cable machine
and the woman's working out her upper body as she is.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
What the hell she's like using the machine to lift
herself up and down.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yeah, this is Selena. You get a bowflex and then
like just like hammer away. I like, no one is
doing that these when just this picture book, I was
hoping for actual picture. These are sketches, unfortunately. But the sexerciser,
this exerciser is a good. Oh door jamming. Now this
one you just get in the door in the in
(06:22):
a door jam and just you know, pound away. Pie
in the sky. What's that? Oh that's an airplane bathroom. Oh,
of course you do. You're sick. Ah the Jolly Forester Selena.
This is a guy bending his lady over a hammock.
And that doesn't seem easy because if you've ever gotten
(06:43):
in a hammock before half the time this fall that
you fall right out of there. Now, how about this one?
This one is called Stairway to Heaven and it's two
people just hammering away on the stairs.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
I have stairs.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
How do you do that like that? In this picture?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Are they carpeted?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
It looks like he's munching the carpet if you if
you will, you can't tell. If these I would recommend
carpeted stairs, right, what are yours?
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Yeah, they're carpeted. Yeah, dirty carpet though.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Are you talking about what your dude's gonna be munched?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Or the stairs? We're both stairway to heaven. Interesting.
Speaker 5 (07:19):
There's another one on there where it's like in the kitchen,
but it looks like it's wold cooking, which.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
No one's doing any of these.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I'm looking at a shower of power and it's just
this squeaky clean fun And this one the woman has
to be holding this show. She's reaching all the way
up to hold the shower head to brace herself, and
then it's just a shower pal too short for that.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Also it's detachable. It would just like pop.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Right, just rip right off fall and get injured. You
guys can't reach your own shower head.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
I can barely, I think on my tippy toes I can.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah. Oh yeah, this one's called soul Kitchen. Things look
a little messy on the counter, as they've clearly spilled
U a few beverages while there is something cooking on
the stove as somebody who's concerned with safety. Her hand
is dangerously close to the cook top there, which is
clearly hot. But she's sitting on the countertop and this
guy's got his pants around his ankles. These illustrations are
(08:15):
pretty I'm so education, they're pretty educational.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
We like know, the author of this book, like she
was sitting right here, I know.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
And she sketched. Did you notice that all those sketches
look a lot like me, Like I have I have
a feeling she like took a mental picture and then
went home and like sketched.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Me, Jess, I know that you have other things to do.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Just hang on a second, because can we talk about
Army Hammer really quick?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Uh? Are is that the guy that was, yes, the
cannibal guy and then he went to go sell time
shares in Mexico? Yeah or something like that.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, he was like depressed after getting like blacklisted from
like Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And for trying to eat people.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Right, and then.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
He's back and he's he's like he's doing any acting.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
But he has a podcast.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Oh of course he does the Army Hammer time podcast.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Oh, don't besmirch the great name of mc hammer.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
What does he do? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
But in this most recent episode, he was talking about
the time he tried to hook up with the guy.
Mind you, all the relationships we heard we've heard of
involving him have been with women. All all the people
that he was wanting to like eat their ribs and.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Stuff, it was women.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah, but he's open for business both sides.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, I guess he just wanted to experiment. He because
he was like he had just gotten out of a breakup.
He's like, oh my god, women are the worst. And
like gay guys, they seem like they have it so easy.
They're like always having fun and stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
He's like, let me just like shirtless on boats, like
on vacation and stuff. I was like, how do you
guys do that?
Speaker 1 (09:46):
And so he got on Grinder Okay, okay, and then
he's an He said, he's at a restaurant and his
phone is like blowing up and he's getting all these
notifications from Grinder, and someone was messaging him like, Hey,
I'm at the same restaurant as you.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Do you want a blowjob in the bathroom and so
and so the guy was like yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
So he was like to everyone at the table, He's like, hey,
guys be back in five minutes. He goes to the
bathroom where he meets this guy. He said, it was
a handsome guy French, and he's like, okay, like maybe
this could work.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
So he's trying this thing out.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
He said, quote, I remember I started making out with him,
and I just remember being like, oh my god. Beard's
like now I get it why women like when you
shave the hair was the beard was in the way.
He's like, how do I even get in there? Like
this is just so much fucking beard.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I wouldn't want to make out with a.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Beard like me either, just I how to do it.
He says.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
He was also put off by the man's size, not
down there, just like just how big he was. He
put his arms around the guy and he's like, oh
my god, his shoulders are so wide. He's so big,
He's like almost my height. It was weird, he said. Physically,
it did nothing, not even a twitch. And then because
because he's just like going through the motions. The other guy,
(11:00):
the French guy from Grinder, he tried to like reach
down and touch his his wien skirts, but it was soft,
and so he was like, no way, am I gonna
let this guy touched my soft stuff, and.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
So he podcast, you can say stuff his soft dick.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Never mind, go back to saying stuff that was.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Weir and then so he put a stop to it,
didn't He didn't let the guy go any further and then.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Went back to their Applebee's meal and yeah, like nothing
never happened.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Who was listening to this podcast?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Oh my god, Yeah, somebody had to. I mean, he
has more than one listener. And then one of them
was like, I'm gonna post this article about this.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
True.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I don't seek out an army hammer hammerton army hammer.
Time you think he talks about like wanting to eat
all the people and eat their ribs and ship, because
that was some weird stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It was.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
It was weird.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Remember, that was just like weird, like cannibalistic fantasy stuff.
He wasn't actually like eating them that we know.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
He didn't actually do it, but no, the fact that
like fantasizes about that is also is you're equally as
weird whether or not he like not on a little
riblet that got cooked up somewhere, like that's irrelevant in
my mind. The fact that you're interested in doing that. Yeah,
what does Jess have to go run to a bathroom.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
No, I am filling in for Drina.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Oh you gotta go like do radio stuff. Yeah all right,
we're just gonna talk about you behind your back. Yeah,
get out of here. She's really going to the bathroom.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
She takes so many ship dude, it's like three or four.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh you're still in here. You said you were leaving,
Go like.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Go do my god, she takes so many ships.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
She was like waddling like out of the studio right there,
like full clench. You know, she's going to go drop one.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
That person that we talked about in the JV show
today that shited her pants on a date that was
actually about Jess, but she tried to tell us that
we couldn't say it was about her.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah, giggle, funny story, totally not me, wink wink. And
it was you. I mentioned sitting your pants on a date.
Oh my god, I would That woman shared a TikTok
and had nine million views, Like, why would you make that?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
I would never admit that to the world.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Are you just trying to go viral at that point? Like,
here's the story about the time I shiit my pants
on a day And now we're engaged and like, yeah,
you're engaged, but like six and a half years later
you got engaged. Yeah, this guy had to think about
it for a while after on the tenth date you
crapped your pants.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, it could be just what if it is like
a made up story. I would not be surprised at
this point.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
But why would you make up that story about yourself?
Be like, oh, I have this friend, Oh my god,
she just told.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Me, yeah, to get the views.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Her name's Jess C. The sea doesn't stand for anything, Jess.
See hey, why is her Instagram still that what Jess? Yeah,
it's jes s. Yeah, but why because she goes by
jet like but she.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Doesn't, she says, I'm Jess. She doesn't go by that.
The sea doesn't stand for I know, it's the weirdest thing.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
It's very interesting. We should get her back in here.
You going knock on the bathroom door?
Speaker 4 (14:02):
Are you in there?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
What does the C stand for? I don't know, you
think she because like I heard you, like you can
have a radio name like Selena, you have a radio name,
and but that's a name, Like I didn't know there was,
Like you make up radio initials I.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Think, well, obviously it was a play on like Jesse.
I think she used to go by Jesse and then
our boss was like, that's dumb, it's just Jess.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
But now it's just C. Now Jess, I want to
go by Graham C because my middle name is start
with the sea, so I could be gram Sy, yeah
you should, or grammar Cy. Grammar yeah, grammar Cy. I
like that. You don't like my mc hammer joke, Grammars
I did. But you know, do you think Jess has
ever heard of mc hammer?
Speaker 5 (14:46):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
I don't think it's from Selena's that's right, so am I.
That's a good point.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
All right, we gotta run, all right,
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