January 21, 2025 • 34 mins
Seven years ago life came crashing into Faith Broussard Cade in the form of a tractor-trailor rig that hit her car from behind. She sustained a concussion and a traumatic brain injury. Unable to return to her career as a school counselor, and struggling in her role as wife and mother, Faith had to figure out how to create a life where her injuries were a part of her story but didn't define her. Her practice of writing herself daily little "love notes" that reminded her that she WAS ENOUGH, and the decision to post them to social media, was transformative.
Now a virtual mental health counselor, and a content creator that shares about her personal healing journey to inspire women to prioritize peace, boundaries, and emotional well-being in their lives and relationships, Faith add's "Shine Bright Anyway - 90 Affirmations That Declare You Are Enough When The World Says You're Not" to her long list of personal successes.
What a great way to kick-off Season 7 of "LOVE SOMEONE with Delilah!"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
January full of promise, yes, but sometimes difficult to navigate
with those short, dark days that stretch seemingly on forever.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Fear not.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
You may not be taking notes, but I am, and
I'm currently focusing intently on every single minute of extra
daylight that we've been gifted since the winter solstice. Little
by little, the days are getting longer and lighter, letting
hope in with each little sunbeam that's able to pierce
(00:41):
the cloudy skies and come to rest upon our shoulders.
Are you experiencing a winter of discontent? I hope not,
But I also know that each of us experience personal trials.
Nobody's life is perfect and without storms. If you're currently
weathering some difficult times, my podcast Guest Today can offer
(01:06):
some soothing comfort and shore up some faith in yourself
that may be difficult to locate right now.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Faith.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Broussard Cade began her career as a school counselor after
completing her master's degree in Human development counseling at Vanderbilt University,
but after a serious car accident back in twenty eighteen,
she found it impossible to return to the school setting
she had been in for more than a decade, she
(01:34):
shifted to providing virtual independent counseling and coaching from home,
and she began sharing positive affirmations and mental health content
on social media. Her encouraging handwritten post it notes she
called love letters to herself, resonated deeply with a wide audience,
(01:57):
and she became quite an Instagram sensation. Now she's turned
those notes into a bright and beautiful little book, Shine
Bright Anyway, ninety affirmations that declare you are enough when
the world says you're not. The message is so important
(02:17):
and January can be so rough, so I chose that
for my January book club. Pick Faith is joining us
today to share more insight, more gentle goodness, and more
wisdom for how to get through the toughest of times.
And Shine Bright Anyway. Right after I share some gratitude
(02:38):
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(03:00):
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(03:22):
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(03:42):
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(04:03):
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(04:28):
Faith you are so lovely, You are so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Thank you, You're kind.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
You are a ray of sunshine. Like your face, your
countenance glows with that beautiful inner light.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Thank you. That means a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
So we're going to be talking about you, your life,
your little book that sounds like it kind of happened
accidentally and yet has inspired thousands of people. And the
reason I wanted to have you on this episode is
because with the darkness outside. I don't know about where
you are, but a lot of people where I am
(05:09):
are struggling. It's like this heavy cloak of darkness. You know,
you walk around singing hello darkness, my old friend, because
at four o'clock, five o'clock, it's you feel like it's midnight. Absolutely, absolutely, Yeah,
let's talk about shine bright anyway, which let's do it.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
By the way, do you have a light?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
You have a light from within your eyes, You sparkle,
your smile is beautiful. I can tell that shine bright
Anyway is truly. I mean it's not just a phrase,
it's clearly your motto. So so tell me what tried
to dim your light? Oh gosh, what hasn't you know?
From the outside looking in, I see the little white
(05:58):
paeony behind you or whatever, that little trait of magnolia,
a little magnolia, steal magnolia. And people are going to
put a B and C together and say, you can't
write a book about shine bright anyway because you don't
know what it's like to suffer.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, they're going to make assumptions, not knowing that every
single day is a struggle for me, every single day,
probably more so than a lot of people. And it's
simply that I choose to not let that struggle or
those challenges be the entirety of my story or the
(06:36):
entirety of my narrative.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So give us the biggest challenge that you've had to face,
or challenges something that tried to dim your.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Lyne biggest, absolute, biggest by far is living with a
traumatic brain injury. And that's kind of where if you
look at my social.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Media or you look through my book and you see
these little handwritten notes on paper, these little affirmations, those
were born out of my journey to recovery from this
traumatic brain injury.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So what year.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Twenty eighteen January ninth, twenty eighteen, So it just came
upon seven years? Was my profession? Is a mental health counselor.
Started my career as a professional school counselor. I was
working at an elementary school in Johns Creek, Georgia, which
(07:42):
is a suburb of Atlanta, on my way to work
one morning, completely normal day, and I was sitting at
a stoplight hit from behind at full speed by attractor trailer.
From that accident, I sustained a concussion and a traumatic
(08:03):
brain injury, which in postconcussive syndrome as well as traumatic
brain injuries, they don't go away. They're just something that
you get better at managing TBIs. Traumatic brain injuries are
oftentimes what people consider is invisible. They can be invisible
(08:24):
disabilities depending on the severity. So some people that have
brain injuries also have coinciding spine injuries. So if you
see someone sitting in a wheelchair right, or someone who's
paralyzed or who cannot walk, there's assumptions there that they
have a TBI of some sort. But then there's a
(08:45):
different part of the spectrum of brain injuries where the
damage that has done is invisible. However, it causes the
person dealing with it to struggle with everyday things that
most people don't even think about. So, for example, I
have extreme sensitivity to light and sound. Anytime I'm in
(09:09):
a restaurant, I'm looking for a store or any public place,
I'm usually looking for the nearest fire escape, like how
can I get out of here? And there's this overwhelming
feeling to want to run or escape from that area
because sensory stimulation is extremely high. Migraines, nerve pain, chronic fatigue,
(09:35):
chronic insomnia. So on a regular basis, I will go
three to four days straight without sleeping at all. Like
this is not oh, I got a bad night asleep
last night. I only slept like four hours. No, this
is completely awake for three to four days straight on
(09:56):
a regular basis. And we know from studies and tests
things that you know. That's why they used sleep deprivation
as torture tactics with prisoners of my right role and
right right because it causes you to sometimes have symptoms
of psychosis. It causes you to like literally feel like
(10:16):
you're losing your mind. So I'm dealing with all of
these things on a regular basis at the same time,
trying to be a wife, trying to be a mom.
At the time the accident happened my daughter was three
and a half. Since then, we have added to our family,
and so I have a daughter who is ten and
(10:37):
a little boy who is three. Living with those challenges
on a daily basis and being a parent and being
a counselor, and being a content creator and being an author,
it's a lot. It can be extremely overwhelming. I feel
(11:03):
discombopulated most of the time.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So did the ADHD? Was that a part of your
life before the TBI?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
That was before?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
So you you have been struggling my entire life, your
entire life, and you're young, so now we can talk
about it. But before you and I had this conversation,
I was talking with my sister and we were like, wow,
because I am learning because I have you know, so
(11:38):
many kids, and a lot of them have ADHD. One
son has a traumatic brain injury from long before I
adopted him, just you know, but learning for them, going
to the IEP meeting for my eight year olds and
(11:59):
getting books and buying books and educating myself to be
a better parent for him and for my other children
and grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm like, oh, my gosh, why didn't I know this
about myself?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Like, why didn't I know there's a reason I jerked
my legs all night long, And why did I not
know there's a reason I have these piles of books
and piles of clothes. I don't have a wardrobe. I
have a floordrobe, and I always have Like since I
was a kid, I had a pink chair that I
(12:34):
got for Christmas from my mother, who upholstered it for me.
I never saw the thing. I never sat on it
once in my life.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
It held the clothes. Yeah, it just.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
It was just there to hold the clothes.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Of course. Yeah, I think you know, these things were
not explored as much back then as they are now,
even when I was a kid. My tension is being
split into so many different areas that once I get
done with the kid's laundry and the cleaning, the bathrooms
(13:10):
and the tidy all of that, my clothes pile is
to me no longer a priority. If I have to
choose between that in trying to get rest right, my
clothes pile isn't that very high on the list in
comparison to all of the other house things that need
to happen that seem more urgent.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Because they are more urgent because your kids have banned,
so they have their band uniform exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
That is more urgent, right, Whereas I.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Work from home, and yes, I mean I see my
clients for counseling via zoom, So like I just have
to make sure that the top half of me is presentable,
right if I don't have any bottoms, who cares?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Players are not the sweats on with the whole ext
you picked up off the floor for the fifth day
in a row, exactly. So in Shinebright, anyway, you break
it down for folks in the three parts, and you
break that down for us real quick in those three parts,
and then I want to talk about sure.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
So I try to place the book in a format
similar to like You're going on a journey, because it
is a book of ninety days of affirmations. So split
it up into three sections, three thirty day sections that
take you on a journey from essentially what the subtitle
(14:34):
of the book is, which is ninety affirmations that declare
you are enough when the world says you're not. And
as somebody who has always struggled with feeling good enough,
feeling worth, feeling like I have done enough, because part
of the ADHD and also part of the TBI stuff
(14:55):
is that feeling of like perfectionism want like if I
just do this well enough, then that means I am enough.
If I just make sure the house is tidy enough,
then my family will find me worthy enough. Right. It's
(15:19):
all of these like conditions. If I then and I
realized though, that every time I reached some sort of
arbitrary milestone that I had place for myself that came
out of nowhere, right, because they never said anything. This
is all internal. Every time I reached that arbitrary milestone,
(15:42):
it was never enough because by the time I got there,
I had already moved the bar again. Every time.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
There's so many expectations put on moms, though, It's.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Too many and I can't keep up with them. Comparison
is the thief of joy. It is all of this
act that we have to other people and other people's
lives in their monochromatic, decorated homes and matching family out.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
There twenty eight bench wastelines and there.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
It can really it can really mess with your mind
because it messes with it. It kind of skews that
line between perception and reality.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, and filters.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Filters, Yeah, we don't even know we don't know what's
real anymore. But I found myself struggling with like feeling
like I was enough, and I through talking with friends
and seeing my clients, who are mostly women, I realized
that it wasn't just something I was struggling with, but
something that we kind of all were. And so I
wanted to take you through that journey in my book
(16:47):
of realizing first of all, that like, you are not broken.
There's nothing wrong with you that and that's the first
part of the book. Part one is you are not broken,
that like, there's not something about you that needs to
be fixed. If you looked at the person that you
hold in high esteem and that you think is perfect,
(17:07):
if you were to be a fly on the wall
in their house, you would see them in their most
vulnerable moments, feeling that something about them is not the
way it should be too right. We all have these
insecurities about different things, and for me, it's a beautiful
thing because it takes the pressure off a little bit
(17:27):
and it levels the playing field. I mean, I have
so many celebrities, famous people that follow my content and
comment on it and repost it. And these are people
that you look at just like you said, in the
beginning of this, if somebody looked at you when you
walked into a room, they would assume fill in the blank,
(17:49):
that you are fine, that you have no struggles. And
we look at these people and we idolize them, not
realizing that we are all spiritual beings having a human
expla all struggling with something. We're all we're all in
the same figurative boat. Now, some people may be in
(18:10):
a yacht and some people may be in a paddle book,
but still those innates.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And those are jumping off the boat for the front
of it, or.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
We've lost our paddles and we don't even know how
we're going to get to shore anymore. Like we'll figure it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Out, we'll figure it out, We'll figure exactly that.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
There's this concept that that that humanizes all of us.
And I think once I started to see that, it
really helped me to then go to the next part
of the journey, which is like, once you realize that
you're not broken, then you can love yourself unconditionally and
take care of yourself, which is part two, take care
(18:53):
of yourself, and then part three is shine bright. Anyways,
So in the midst of all of this that you've through,
you realize that you're actually not broken, You're just perfectly imperfect. Right,
you learn that you are also worthy of your own
care and consideration. You're not put on this earth to
(19:15):
just give yourself away to other people. And then once
you realize that you can allow your inner light to
shine that like, there are some people in life who
will dislike you simply because you are beautiful, simply because
you are smart, simply because you are well educated, simply
because you have a wonderful career, simply because you have
(19:37):
a family that they don't have, or whatever these expectations
they've placed on you. But that's not your concern. Your
concern is to nurture the light that is inside of
you and to be a good steward of the gifts
that you have. What other people think about you is irrelevant,
(19:58):
And I think that's why I'm able to do what
I do. People say, oh my gosh, what's your skincare routine?
What's your that? Do you drink a lot of water?
On most days I forget to drink water. So it's
not that I think it mainly is I don't allow
what other people are doing and have going on or
(20:18):
what they think about me to be a factor in
how I live my life, or in how I parent
my children, or how I run my home. I mind
my business. And maybe that's where maybe that's where.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It comes with a novel concept.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I mind my business. You will not see me on
the internet making nasty comments on people's content about things
that I disagree with. If I disagree with it, I
just keep scrolling, scroll, or I just unfollow. Everything that
you see does not require your attention. You do not
have to attend every event that you're invited to, and
(20:58):
that's in your mind and in the world right. Just
just give attention to and invest into the things that
matter to you and that you care about. Let all
that other stuff go, because all that other stuff is
what's covering up and dimming your light.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
How many people you know you've got your fans, your followers,
your social call and my friends, your friends, the people
that have found your book or found your post it
notes and it resonated with them. And then you've got
you know, customers, clients, people you are counseling and helping.
(21:49):
Percentage wise, how many of those people, when you start
talking to them, feel like they're enough?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Zero zero zero, like that is an anomaly, some sort
of mystic unicorn that I have not yet encountered. There's
this concept like mental gymnastics that we're always trying to
do and keep on top of that. I think I
have not encountered one woman who isn't struggling with not
(22:19):
just the expectations but the management of all of the
expectations and all of the invisible labor and the mental
load of how to make it all fit together and
still function as a human being in the midst of it,
(22:41):
and still also not be triggered, not be irritable all
the time. That's one of the main things I hear
is like, I mean, I love my kids, but it
seems like everything they do irritates me. It's because you're
so triggered on alert all the time. You are so overstimulated.
You don't get a brain. You don't have time to
(23:01):
just tap out and say I need to be by
myself to refill my cup. It rarely happens. So, of course,
when you are depleted, you have nothing left to give,
and every little thing bothers you, and then we feel
guilty about that. Right then we feel guilty for snapping
(23:22):
at these adorable, little tiny humans that we've created, and
so then we like, then we don't know what to
do with the guilt. So it's this vicious cycle of
trying and trying and trying and not feeling like you're enough,
and then feeling guilty that you haven't done enough, and
then not knowing what to do with the guilt. It's exhausting.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
It is exhausting, it is heartbreaking, and you think about
all the stuff we put on ourselves and do to ourselves,
and there ain't no marbles left.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
No, no, oftentimes there are no marbles left, and so
it becomes like a borrowing game, right, Like you're you're
like reallocating marbles from one day to another and moving
them all around. That's what I find myself doing, to
the point where maybe every day I don't get to
(24:18):
use my knee marble for me, but maybe I just
accumulate a bunch of my knee marbles and move them
all to like one day or a weekend or sometime
separate because.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me know when that happens.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Hey, well there's that right that we I'm learning more
and more now that if I reallocate some of those
moments that I spend on the self imposed expectations that
nobody else really cares about, then I can I can
(25:00):
find some spaces for me.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
So for example, like I said, I'm from Southern Louisiana,
love to cook one day and I read about this
in the book. One day, my husband said something about like, hey,
honey year and made jumble liya in a while. Immediately,
my my good wife spidey senses go up, and I'm like, oh,
he must have said that because you know, he wants
(25:25):
me to make jumble eye today when I that day
was supposed to be my self care day. I was
supposed to spend the entire day at Barnes and Noble
just being in heaven. Well, I'm like, oh goodness, if
I don't make this jumble eye for him, he's going
to be upset or he's going to think I'm this.
I literally so I ran away with myself and I
gave up my self care day to make this jumble eye.
(25:47):
I went to the store.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I got all the ingry I to go to multiple store,
got this full love this, stop the spies, all the stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Came home, made the jumble Aya, put it in front
him and he was like oh honey, this is good.
Thanks for making this. But he did not celebrate me
with bells and whistles. He did not do it with
a ten piece orchestra. He did not sing my praises.
When I tell you, Delilah was hot.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
And it's so resentful because he didn't do what you
needed him to do after you did something.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
That he did as you too, exactly, And that is
the point that I'm trying to make.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
You're talking to a woman who baked blueberry pie yesterday,
because at lunchtime I said to my husband, I found
these blueberries in the freezer that I froze a couple
of years ago.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I'm going to make some jelly out of them.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And he said, oh, man, I've been craving blueberry pie.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
There you go, that's all you need.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
That's all I needed.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Go into turbo exactary mode.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah yeah, because obviously, just like you said, he's been
wanting blueberry pie and I have failed. That's that is
the subtext, and not being able to read his mind
and perceive that he's been craving blueberry pie. Therefore, I
must put the butter in the freezer, get it cold
(27:14):
enough to make the crust remember all the things.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
That he didn't he did not ask, And so I'm
and then I'm realizing that if I take away those
moments right and invest all of that grocery shopping time
and jumbalia and making time into me when he was
supposed to be handling the kids that night because it
(27:40):
was supposed to be my time away, they would have
had takeout.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Pizza and been as happy as could be.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Perfectly fine, right, They would not probably wouldn't have had
a furnit and a vegetable added to it like I
would have done, but it's okay. They won't die from
one day. They would have been fine, but I inserted
myself into a situation that did not require me, and
I lost the time that I needed for myself. So
I'm realizing that's where I get my time back. Those
(28:12):
extra things that I'm doing in hopes of getting some
sort of warm, fuzzy validation feeling back that no one
is asking me to do. They won't miss it if
I don't do it because they did not ask me
to do it, So that time is better spent investing
(28:32):
in me having that alone time that I need to
bring my baseline down to get my senses down from
being overstimulated to regulate my nervous system. My family is
better served by me doing that than me inserting myself
into situations where I do not belong. And I think
(28:55):
that's where we get those moments back that we really
need for ourselves. We may not be able to get
a weekend, we may not be able to get a
whole day, but we can certainly get back a few hours.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And take care of ourselves and take care.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Of ourselves spending time with author and counselor Faith Broussard
Cade Today, a compassionate voice and advocate for believing in
oneself even when the world seems to be against us.
We'll get back to our conversation in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
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Speaker 2 (30:27):
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Speaker 1 (30:29):
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Thank you, Thank you faith for sharing your faith, for
sharing your light, for sharing your story, for being vulnerable,
for being so stinking beautiful in your spirit and your hearts.
(30:54):
And I hope people pick up your book and are inspired.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Because we need it right now. Boy, do we need
it right now.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Thank you so much. I appreciate it, and I appreciate
you and all the work you've done a long time.
I've been listening to you since I was in middle school,
and I remember your voice being just so soothing and
calming to me, So I just thank you for what
you do.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Shine Bright Anyway, ninety affirmations that declare you are enough.
You are enough when the world says you are not.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Faith.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
If folks want to follow you, because this book is
a compilation of notes that you wrote to yourself, if
they want to be inspired, If they want to follow you,
where they Where can they find you?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Absolutely? They can follow me on Instagram at flurtly speaks,
you know, like the flower f L E. You are
d l I s sp eaks. Slurdly Speaks. That is
(32:05):
my Instagram handle, also my Facebook handle, and then my
website is www dot slurdly speaks dot com.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Awesome, Thank you, God, bless you, Thank you so much.
Wonderful New Year.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Thank you you too, de La.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
If you're struggling, if you have any measure of self doubt,
if you feel like you won't be able to make
it through whatever situation you find yourself to be in
right now, Faith wrote Shine Bright Anyway for you. She
had to turn her schooling and advice inward when she
suffered a traumatic brain injury a number of years ago
(32:44):
and felt like her life was imploding.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
She gets it.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
She wants you to know that even even when life
is hard, you are enough. You can catch up with
Faith and all of her kind and fabulous advice via
her web site, flor de le speaks dot com. And
you can find more information and order links for Shinebright
Anyway at my book club blog on Delilah dot com.
(33:11):
This inspiring little volume would also make a fantastic gift
for anyone you know who might be facing a personal
challenge or who carries the fear of failure with them. Friends,
There's no doubt about it. Life can be challenging sometimes
especially so it's our job to support each other in
(33:32):
times of need and remind each other to never give
up hope on ourselves. I know as you listen to this,
you're thinking of someone that could use your light.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Maybe that someone is you.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Shine bright for them, Shine bright for you, Shine Bright Anyway.
Thank you for being here with me. On season seven
of Love Someone with Delilah Faith was the perfect guest
to kick off the new year, and I promise to
have more fantastic guest each month. Meet me here each
time a new episode drops, and we'll get through twenty
(34:06):
twenty five together.
January full of promise, yes, but sometimes difficult to navigate
with those short, dark days that stretch seemingly on forever.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Fear not.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
You may not be taking notes, but I am, and
I'm currently focusing intently on every single minute of extra
daylight that we've been gifted since the winter solstice. Little
by little, the days are getting longer and lighter, letting
hope in with each little sunbeam that's able to pierce
(00:41):
the cloudy skies and come to rest upon our shoulders.
Are you experiencing a winter of discontent? I hope not,
But I also know that each of us experience personal trials.
Nobody's life is perfect and without storms. If you're currently
weathering some difficult times, my podcast Guest Today can offer
(01:06):
some soothing comfort and shore up some faith in yourself
that may be difficult to locate right now.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Faith.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Broussard Cade began her career as a school counselor after
completing her master's degree in Human development counseling at Vanderbilt University,
but after a serious car accident back in twenty eighteen,
she found it impossible to return to the school setting
she had been in for more than a decade, she
(01:34):
shifted to providing virtual independent counseling and coaching from home,
and she began sharing positive affirmations and mental health content
on social media. Her encouraging handwritten post it notes she
called love letters to herself, resonated deeply with a wide audience,
(01:57):
and she became quite an Instagram sensation. Now she's turned
those notes into a bright and beautiful little book, Shine
Bright Anyway, ninety affirmations that declare you are enough when
the world says you're not. The message is so important
(02:17):
and January can be so rough, so I chose that
for my January book club. Pick Faith is joining us
today to share more insight, more gentle goodness, and more
wisdom for how to get through the toughest of times.
And Shine Bright Anyway. Right after I share some gratitude
(02:38):
for one of today's podcast sponsors. Have you been looking
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(03:42):
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(04:03):
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(04:28):
Faith you are so lovely, You are so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Thank you, You're kind.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
You are a ray of sunshine. Like your face, your
countenance glows with that beautiful inner light.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Thank you. That means a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
So we're going to be talking about you, your life,
your little book that sounds like it kind of happened
accidentally and yet has inspired thousands of people. And the
reason I wanted to have you on this episode is
because with the darkness outside. I don't know about where
you are, but a lot of people where I am
(05:09):
are struggling. It's like this heavy cloak of darkness. You know,
you walk around singing hello darkness, my old friend, because
at four o'clock, five o'clock, it's you feel like it's midnight. Absolutely, absolutely, Yeah,
let's talk about shine bright anyway, which let's do it.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
By the way, do you have a light?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
You have a light from within your eyes, You sparkle,
your smile is beautiful. I can tell that shine bright
Anyway is truly. I mean it's not just a phrase,
it's clearly your motto. So so tell me what tried
to dim your light? Oh gosh, what hasn't you know?
From the outside looking in, I see the little white
(05:58):
paeony behind you or whatever, that little trait of magnolia,
a little magnolia, steal magnolia. And people are going to
put a B and C together and say, you can't
write a book about shine bright anyway because you don't
know what it's like to suffer.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, they're going to make assumptions, not knowing that every
single day is a struggle for me, every single day,
probably more so than a lot of people. And it's
simply that I choose to not let that struggle or
those challenges be the entirety of my story or the
(06:36):
entirety of my narrative.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So give us the biggest challenge that you've had to face,
or challenges something that tried to dim your.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Lyne biggest, absolute, biggest by far is living with a
traumatic brain injury. And that's kind of where if you
look at my social.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Media or you look through my book and you see
these little handwritten notes on paper, these little affirmations, those
were born out of my journey to recovery from this
traumatic brain injury.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So what year.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Twenty eighteen January ninth, twenty eighteen, So it just came
upon seven years? Was my profession? Is a mental health counselor.
Started my career as a professional school counselor. I was
working at an elementary school in Johns Creek, Georgia, which
(07:42):
is a suburb of Atlanta, on my way to work
one morning, completely normal day, and I was sitting at
a stoplight hit from behind at full speed by attractor trailer.
From that accident, I sustained a concussion and a traumatic
(08:03):
brain injury, which in postconcussive syndrome as well as traumatic
brain injuries, they don't go away. They're just something that
you get better at managing TBIs. Traumatic brain injuries are
oftentimes what people consider is invisible. They can be invisible
(08:24):
disabilities depending on the severity. So some people that have
brain injuries also have coinciding spine injuries. So if you
see someone sitting in a wheelchair right, or someone who's
paralyzed or who cannot walk, there's assumptions there that they
have a TBI of some sort. But then there's a
(08:45):
different part of the spectrum of brain injuries where the
damage that has done is invisible. However, it causes the
person dealing with it to struggle with everyday things that
most people don't even think about. So, for example, I
have extreme sensitivity to light and sound. Anytime I'm in
(09:09):
a restaurant, I'm looking for a store or any public place,
I'm usually looking for the nearest fire escape, like how
can I get out of here? And there's this overwhelming
feeling to want to run or escape from that area
because sensory stimulation is extremely high. Migraines, nerve pain, chronic fatigue,
(09:35):
chronic insomnia. So on a regular basis, I will go
three to four days straight without sleeping at all. Like
this is not oh, I got a bad night asleep
last night. I only slept like four hours. No, this
is completely awake for three to four days straight on
(09:56):
a regular basis. And we know from studies and tests
things that you know. That's why they used sleep deprivation
as torture tactics with prisoners of my right role and
right right because it causes you to sometimes have symptoms
of psychosis. It causes you to like literally feel like
(10:16):
you're losing your mind. So I'm dealing with all of
these things on a regular basis at the same time,
trying to be a wife, trying to be a mom.
At the time the accident happened my daughter was three
and a half. Since then, we have added to our family,
and so I have a daughter who is ten and
(10:37):
a little boy who is three. Living with those challenges
on a daily basis and being a parent and being
a counselor, and being a content creator and being an author,
it's a lot. It can be extremely overwhelming. I feel
(11:03):
discombopulated most of the time.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So did the ADHD? Was that a part of your
life before the TBI?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
That was before?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
So you you have been struggling my entire life, your
entire life, and you're young, so now we can talk
about it. But before you and I had this conversation,
I was talking with my sister and we were like, wow,
because I am learning because I have you know, so
(11:38):
many kids, and a lot of them have ADHD. One
son has a traumatic brain injury from long before I
adopted him, just you know, but learning for them, going
to the IEP meeting for my eight year olds and
(11:59):
getting books and buying books and educating myself to be
a better parent for him and for my other children
and grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm like, oh, my gosh, why didn't I know this
about myself?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Like, why didn't I know there's a reason I jerked
my legs all night long, And why did I not
know there's a reason I have these piles of books
and piles of clothes. I don't have a wardrobe. I
have a floordrobe, and I always have Like since I
was a kid, I had a pink chair that I
(12:34):
got for Christmas from my mother, who upholstered it for me.
I never saw the thing. I never sat on it
once in my life.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
It held the clothes. Yeah, it just.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
It was just there to hold the clothes.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Of course. Yeah, I think you know, these things were
not explored as much back then as they are now,
even when I was a kid. My tension is being
split into so many different areas that once I get
done with the kid's laundry and the cleaning, the bathrooms
(13:10):
and the tidy all of that, my clothes pile is
to me no longer a priority. If I have to
choose between that in trying to get rest right, my
clothes pile isn't that very high on the list in
comparison to all of the other house things that need
to happen that seem more urgent.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Because they are more urgent because your kids have banned,
so they have their band uniform exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
That is more urgent, right, Whereas I.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Work from home, and yes, I mean I see my
clients for counseling via zoom, So like I just have
to make sure that the top half of me is presentable,
right if I don't have any bottoms, who cares?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Players are not the sweats on with the whole ext
you picked up off the floor for the fifth day
in a row, exactly. So in Shinebright, anyway, you break
it down for folks in the three parts, and you
break that down for us real quick in those three parts,
and then I want to talk about sure.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
So I try to place the book in a format
similar to like You're going on a journey, because it
is a book of ninety days of affirmations. So split
it up into three sections, three thirty day sections that
take you on a journey from essentially what the subtitle
(14:34):
of the book is, which is ninety affirmations that declare
you are enough when the world says you're not. And
as somebody who has always struggled with feeling good enough,
feeling worth, feeling like I have done enough, because part
of the ADHD and also part of the TBI stuff
(14:55):
is that feeling of like perfectionism want like if I
just do this well enough, then that means I am enough.
If I just make sure the house is tidy enough,
then my family will find me worthy enough. Right. It's
(15:19):
all of these like conditions. If I then and I
realized though, that every time I reached some sort of
arbitrary milestone that I had place for myself that came
out of nowhere, right, because they never said anything. This
is all internal. Every time I reached that arbitrary milestone,
(15:42):
it was never enough because by the time I got there,
I had already moved the bar again. Every time.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
There's so many expectations put on moms, though, It's.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Too many and I can't keep up with them. Comparison
is the thief of joy. It is all of this
act that we have to other people and other people's
lives in their monochromatic, decorated homes and matching family out.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
There twenty eight bench wastelines and there.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
It can really it can really mess with your mind
because it messes with it. It kind of skews that
line between perception and reality.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, and filters.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Filters, Yeah, we don't even know we don't know what's
real anymore. But I found myself struggling with like feeling
like I was enough, and I through talking with friends
and seeing my clients, who are mostly women, I realized
that it wasn't just something I was struggling with, but
something that we kind of all were. And so I
wanted to take you through that journey in my book
(16:47):
of realizing first of all, that like, you are not broken.
There's nothing wrong with you that and that's the first
part of the book. Part one is you are not broken,
that like, there's not something about you that needs to
be fixed. If you looked at the person that you
hold in high esteem and that you think is perfect,
(17:07):
if you were to be a fly on the wall
in their house, you would see them in their most
vulnerable moments, feeling that something about them is not the
way it should be too right. We all have these
insecurities about different things, and for me, it's a beautiful
thing because it takes the pressure off a little bit
(17:27):
and it levels the playing field. I mean, I have
so many celebrities, famous people that follow my content and
comment on it and repost it. And these are people
that you look at just like you said, in the
beginning of this, if somebody looked at you when you
walked into a room, they would assume fill in the blank,
(17:49):
that you are fine, that you have no struggles. And
we look at these people and we idolize them, not
realizing that we are all spiritual beings having a human
expla all struggling with something. We're all we're all in
the same figurative boat. Now, some people may be in
(18:10):
a yacht and some people may be in a paddle book,
but still those innates.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And those are jumping off the boat for the front
of it, or.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
We've lost our paddles and we don't even know how
we're going to get to shore anymore. Like we'll figure it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Out, we'll figure it out, We'll figure exactly that.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
There's this concept that that that humanizes all of us.
And I think once I started to see that, it
really helped me to then go to the next part
of the journey, which is like, once you realize that
you're not broken, then you can love yourself unconditionally and
take care of yourself, which is part two, take care
(18:53):
of yourself, and then part three is shine bright. Anyways,
So in the midst of all of this that you've through,
you realize that you're actually not broken, You're just perfectly imperfect. Right,
you learn that you are also worthy of your own
care and consideration. You're not put on this earth to
(19:15):
just give yourself away to other people. And then once
you realize that you can allow your inner light to
shine that like, there are some people in life who
will dislike you simply because you are beautiful, simply because
you are smart, simply because you are well educated, simply
because you have a wonderful career, simply because you have
(19:37):
a family that they don't have, or whatever these expectations
they've placed on you. But that's not your concern. Your
concern is to nurture the light that is inside of
you and to be a good steward of the gifts
that you have. What other people think about you is irrelevant,
(19:58):
And I think that's why I'm able to do what
I do. People say, oh my gosh, what's your skincare routine?
What's your that? Do you drink a lot of water?
On most days I forget to drink water. So it's
not that I think it mainly is I don't allow
what other people are doing and have going on or
(20:18):
what they think about me to be a factor in
how I live my life, or in how I parent
my children, or how I run my home. I mind
my business. And maybe that's where maybe that's where.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It comes with a novel concept.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I mind my business. You will not see me on
the internet making nasty comments on people's content about things
that I disagree with. If I disagree with it, I
just keep scrolling, scroll, or I just unfollow. Everything that
you see does not require your attention. You do not
have to attend every event that you're invited to, and
(20:58):
that's in your mind and in the world right. Just
just give attention to and invest into the things that
matter to you and that you care about. Let all
that other stuff go, because all that other stuff is
what's covering up and dimming your light.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
How many people you know you've got your fans, your followers,
your social call and my friends, your friends, the people
that have found your book or found your post it
notes and it resonated with them. And then you've got
you know, customers, clients, people you are counseling and helping.
(21:49):
Percentage wise, how many of those people, when you start
talking to them, feel like they're enough?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Zero zero zero, like that is an anomaly, some sort
of mystic unicorn that I have not yet encountered. There's
this concept like mental gymnastics that we're always trying to
do and keep on top of that. I think I
have not encountered one woman who isn't struggling with not
(22:19):
just the expectations but the management of all of the
expectations and all of the invisible labor and the mental
load of how to make it all fit together and
still function as a human being in the midst of it,
(22:41):
and still also not be triggered, not be irritable all
the time. That's one of the main things I hear
is like, I mean, I love my kids, but it
seems like everything they do irritates me. It's because you're
so triggered on alert all the time. You are so overstimulated.
You don't get a brain. You don't have time to
(23:01):
just tap out and say I need to be by
myself to refill my cup. It rarely happens. So, of course,
when you are depleted, you have nothing left to give,
and every little thing bothers you, and then we feel
guilty about that. Right then we feel guilty for snapping
(23:22):
at these adorable, little tiny humans that we've created, and
so then we like, then we don't know what to
do with the guilt. So it's this vicious cycle of
trying and trying and trying and not feeling like you're enough,
and then feeling guilty that you haven't done enough, and
then not knowing what to do with the guilt. It's exhausting.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
It is exhausting, it is heartbreaking, and you think about
all the stuff we put on ourselves and do to ourselves,
and there ain't no marbles left.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
No, no, oftentimes there are no marbles left, and so
it becomes like a borrowing game, right, Like you're you're
like reallocating marbles from one day to another and moving
them all around. That's what I find myself doing, to
the point where maybe every day I don't get to
(24:18):
use my knee marble for me, but maybe I just
accumulate a bunch of my knee marbles and move them
all to like one day or a weekend or sometime
separate because.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Let me know when that happens.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Hey, well there's that right that we I'm learning more
and more now that if I reallocate some of those
moments that I spend on the self imposed expectations that
nobody else really cares about, then I can I can
(25:00):
find some spaces for me.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Right.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
So for example, like I said, I'm from Southern Louisiana,
love to cook one day and I read about this
in the book. One day, my husband said something about like, hey,
honey year and made jumble liya in a while. Immediately,
my my good wife spidey senses go up, and I'm like, oh,
he must have said that because you know, he wants
(25:25):
me to make jumble eye today when I that day
was supposed to be my self care day. I was
supposed to spend the entire day at Barnes and Noble
just being in heaven. Well, I'm like, oh goodness, if
I don't make this jumble eye for him, he's going
to be upset or he's going to think I'm this.
I literally so I ran away with myself and I
gave up my self care day to make this jumble eye.
(25:47):
I went to the store.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I got all the ingry I to go to multiple store,
got this full love this, stop the spies, all the stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Came home, made the jumble Aya, put it in front
him and he was like oh honey, this is good.
Thanks for making this. But he did not celebrate me
with bells and whistles. He did not do it with
a ten piece orchestra. He did not sing my praises.
When I tell you, Delilah was hot.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
And it's so resentful because he didn't do what you
needed him to do after you did something.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
That he did as you too, exactly, And that is
the point that I'm trying to make.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
You're talking to a woman who baked blueberry pie yesterday,
because at lunchtime I said to my husband, I found
these blueberries in the freezer that I froze a couple
of years ago.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I'm going to make some jelly out of them.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And he said, oh, man, I've been craving blueberry pie.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
There you go, that's all you need.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
That's all I needed.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Go into turbo exactary mode.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah yeah, because obviously, just like you said, he's been
wanting blueberry pie and I have failed. That's that is
the subtext, and not being able to read his mind
and perceive that he's been craving blueberry pie. Therefore, I
must put the butter in the freezer, get it cold
(27:14):
enough to make the crust remember all the things.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
That he didn't he did not ask, And so I'm
and then I'm realizing that if I take away those
moments right and invest all of that grocery shopping time
and jumbalia and making time into me when he was
supposed to be handling the kids that night because it
(27:40):
was supposed to be my time away, they would have
had takeout.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Pizza and been as happy as could be.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Perfectly fine, right, They would not probably wouldn't have had
a furnit and a vegetable added to it like I
would have done, but it's okay. They won't die from
one day. They would have been fine, but I inserted
myself into a situation that did not require me, and
I lost the time that I needed for myself. So
I'm realizing that's where I get my time back. Those
(28:12):
extra things that I'm doing in hopes of getting some
sort of warm, fuzzy validation feeling back that no one
is asking me to do. They won't miss it if
I don't do it because they did not ask me
to do it, So that time is better spent investing
(28:32):
in me having that alone time that I need to
bring my baseline down to get my senses down from
being overstimulated to regulate my nervous system. My family is
better served by me doing that than me inserting myself
into situations where I do not belong. And I think
(28:55):
that's where we get those moments back that we really
need for ourselves. We may not be able to get
a weekend, we may not be able to get a
whole day, but we can certainly get back a few hours.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
And take care of ourselves and take care.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Of ourselves spending time with author and counselor Faith Broussard
Cade Today, a compassionate voice and advocate for believing in
oneself even when the world seems to be against us.
We'll get back to our conversation in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Nothing better than a steaming cup of tea to take
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(29:52):
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I'm also quite fond of their lemon ginger. It's zesty
(30:16):
citrus and zippy ginger and a perfect pick me up
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support healthy digestion. Take a moment for you and savor.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Some big ol Loo t.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
You can find all their blends, my favorites and yours
at your local grocery store and by visiting bigelot dot com.
Thank you, Thank you faith for sharing your faith, for
sharing your light, for sharing your story, for being vulnerable,
for being so stinking beautiful in your spirit and your hearts.
(30:54):
And I hope people pick up your book and are inspired.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Because we need it right now. Boy, do we need
it right now.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Thank you so much. I appreciate it, and I appreciate
you and all the work you've done a long time.
I've been listening to you since I was in middle school,
and I remember your voice being just so soothing and
calming to me, So I just thank you for what
you do.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Shine Bright Anyway, ninety affirmations that declare you are enough.
You are enough when the world says you are not.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Faith.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
If folks want to follow you, because this book is
a compilation of notes that you wrote to yourself, if
they want to be inspired, If they want to follow you,
where they Where can they find you?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Absolutely? They can follow me on Instagram at flurtly speaks,
you know, like the flower f L E. You are
d l I s sp eaks. Slurdly Speaks. That is
(32:05):
my Instagram handle, also my Facebook handle, and then my
website is www dot slurdly speaks dot com.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Awesome, Thank you, God, bless you, Thank you so much.
Wonderful New Year.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Thank you you too, de La.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
If you're struggling, if you have any measure of self doubt,
if you feel like you won't be able to make
it through whatever situation you find yourself to be in
right now, Faith wrote Shine Bright Anyway for you. She
had to turn her schooling and advice inward when she
suffered a traumatic brain injury a number of years ago
(32:44):
and felt like her life was imploding.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
She gets it.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
She wants you to know that even even when life
is hard, you are enough. You can catch up with
Faith and all of her kind and fabulous advice via
her web site, flor de le speaks dot com. And
you can find more information and order links for Shinebright
Anyway at my book club blog on Delilah dot com.
(33:11):
This inspiring little volume would also make a fantastic gift
for anyone you know who might be facing a personal
challenge or who carries the fear of failure with them. Friends,
There's no doubt about it. Life can be challenging sometimes
especially so it's our job to support each other in
(33:32):
times of need and remind each other to never give
up hope on ourselves. I know as you listen to this,
you're thinking of someone that could use your light.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Maybe that someone is you.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Shine bright for them, Shine bright for you, Shine Bright Anyway.
Thank you for being here with me. On season seven
of Love Someone with Delilah Faith was the perfect guest
to kick off the new year, and I promise to
have more fantastic guest each month. Meet me here each
time a new episode drops, and we'll get through twenty
(34:06):
twenty five together.
Host
Delilah
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