February 19, 2025 • 34 mins
On this weeks episode of the Slightly Messy Show Mike and Meaghan talk about gross coworkers, the candy that you can and can't eat as a kid, the smelliest body parts, and can you drink alone as an adult.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sick kind a problem, Michael, and I am so sorry
that you faced part of it. There is one joy
of being single with no kids, and it's I have
no real responsibilities.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Go.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
This is the slightly messy show with Mike and Meghan.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
State means a messy show, messy, messy Mike and Megan.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
It's a slightly messy show with Mike and Megan.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And that little girl right there caused me bro on
a daily basis, her and her brother.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I'm bro. Now, hey Bro, I don't want to do this.
Hey bro, excuse me?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Where did that start?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
This last year? This last like the last I don't
know three months. Cecily is about to be U is
about to be eleven, and Mile was about to be
six this year, and so she is. She is coming
into her own, She is becoming independent. She is still
(01:06):
very much in love with her dad like loves me,
but but like we're we're getting our voice, We're getting
our big kid voice, We're getting a yeah, the.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Beginning of the ends. That's what I hear.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
That's what I hear.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And my son just runs around farting and thinks it's
hilarious and calls me, Bro.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Are you a fart or funny household, Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Okay, yeah, we say like we have to be like
you have to say, excuse me, like you.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Can't fight up people, you gotta stop well, because he
would do it.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
We have to tell him.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
There's never like like he doesn't just start fighting on
people and then it goes away.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
If you don't tell him, he'll just keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And anytime the biggest thing I saw and uh, I
don't know if you were farting in the house household
growing up hilarious, right, always funny, forever funny. So like
when he has a good fart joke or he thinks
of like he hears a fart or season fart, whatever,
he wants to die laughing after every single one. I
(02:08):
saw him restrict himself the other day and I was
so incredibly proud. But that's where we're at right now.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
That's funny until they're too close to me.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
How close are we talking?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
If I'm don't walk in front of me, don't stand
next to me, but be across the room, be on
the other side of the couch. But I will tell
you where my limits are. And it's if I am
in the kitchen and we are cooking. I don't care
you have to step out into another room, like if
you cannot fart where the food is being made.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
That makes sense though, because that's I'm pretty sure that's
how Pink Guy starts.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I don't know that that's true. No, I don't think that.
Do you. You ever played the game I Guess My Fart?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm sorry?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
What it is a It's where you guess the sound
of the fart before the person farts. So if they
have to fart, they feel it coming, they go Guess
my fart, and you would go and then they would fart,
and then if you want to surge it, i'd TikTok.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
It's everywhere.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
The accuracy in a lot of these are next level.
Our next level. They're so good of how well they.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Can guess their partners fart.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
That is a game I do not want to play
with somebody. I'm romantically am off.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
But my wife won't do it either. I don't know why,
but I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
They can be funny, but I still need to see
you without the ick.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
This is the Slightly Messy Show with Megan Mick from
The Mojo in the Morning Show and my name is
Mike from the B ninety three Morning Show. I was
gonna play I Guess my Fart, but we're not gonna
play that game. We're not gonna play that game. We're
not We're not there yet. I don't feel like we're
there yet.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
You make sure you add us on your presets on.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
The iHeartRadio app, save us as your favorite with the
more Mojo podcast.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
The only reason I mentioned that is because.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I think we get paid aid for if we do
really well in those I don't know, probably not.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
If you just told us that so we would promote it.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, I don't think we get paid at all.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
But if you know, if you want more content I
Guess my Fart games, then you should save us on
the the iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
What's that commercial where the guy has a dollar bill
on a fishing pone. He's like, Oh, you gotta be
quicker than that. Sometimes I feel like that's how corporate works.
I give you a dollar, gotta be quicker than that.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
They well, I think at some point somebody mentioned. They
didn't really say we get paid for it, but at
some point they met they mentioned like, hey, it would
be really cool if you guys were had the most
in the company.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
And I was like, oh, okay, a little competition. I
like that.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And then we started going and I was like, well,
hold on, what do we get if we are the best,
If we are if we are the have the most presets,
what do we get?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
You get? What's up?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You lose?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, you get not that good, Disa.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So you were telling me about this before we started
the podcast, and it's something that I do in a
daily basis. Not anymore because I'm in a studio with
a person that I'm still getting to know. But I
used to do this all the time when I would
sit in this the SNX studio For those who don't know,
I used to be on odes in the morning. I
(05:26):
would sit in the SNX studios and Grand Rapids. You
couldn't see me. It was just me in this studio.
Why don't you explain what you're talking about? And I'll
explain why this isn't that big of a deal.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I fear for your co hosts, and I'm going to
reach out to her and see if she's doing okay.
So I was in our new offices. Our new offices
are set up a different way where there's not that
many offices anymore. They're more like open space cubicles, but
the walls go up like kind of higher than I expected,
so you get a little bit of privacy. And there
(05:58):
was a I'm trying to keep it as vague as possible,
but we'll just say a woman who did not realize
that I was sitting at one of the desks right,
because they're not assigned. You can like work at any
computer that is available. And so I was just sitting there.
I had headphones plugged in, sitting quietly listening to something,
and this person walks in, sits down at the cubicle
(06:22):
directly across from me, and is working right there on
a call. And then I just hear click, clea, clea.
And if you're wondering what that click is, it is
them cutting their fingernails at their desk. Okay, okay, because
(06:43):
there are bathroom activities and there are office activities, and
very few of those things overlap. And cutting your nails
is not a while you're driving activity, it's not an
in the kitchen activity, and it sures how well, is
not at your desk at work activity that is strictly
(07:04):
bathroom activity.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Now, let me ask a question, were they doing it
over a trash can, or were they just putting it
on like the desk shavings.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
I don't care clippings.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's gross and it belongs in your bathroom.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I'll tell you what I'm not walking around with.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
If I didn't have time, if I didn't have time
running out the door this morning, like my nails right now,
could be it looks like I know for a fact,
I definitely cut a couple of them and then didn't
clip the rest because I was in a hurry.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I could tell, I could see it in my hands.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I would I would take this trash can that's sitting
right next to me right now, let's set it right
here in front of me like this, and I would
just clip right over top of them.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I don't see a big deal with that.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
There are things that when they're attached to your body
are okay, and when they're not attached to your body
are not okay. Right, I'll give you examples. Nails is
the first one we started there, attached to your hands, okay,
No longer attached to your your phalangies. I don't I
don't want to see it. I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to nothing. I don't care where it is.
(08:08):
Do it at home, unianderthal. The other thing. Hair on
your head, that's fine, it's clean. I'll touch it, I'll
play with it, I'll braid it, I'll brush it. Hair
off of your head. I don't want it, shouldn't exist.
It's so gross and disgusting.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Like arm hair, even because I feel like that's the
simplest of hair.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Any hair not attached to your body is disgusting.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Oh any hair when, oh, once it comes off of
your body.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Oh, okay, I got you, got you? Got you get
on your head?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Fine, off of your head.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I don't know why, but I see a difference in
hair and nails. I don't think nails is that big
of a deal. I think toenails are a big deal.
I think toenails are disgusting.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Your feet are clearer than your hands. And I'm not
even justifying it, but your reasoning is wrong.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Your feet are not cleaner in your hands. There's no
way that's true. There's no way your feet are cleaner
than your hands.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Okay, So I don't know if you know this, but
they invented this thing called Google, and I'll need you
to open it. Up now and google. Are my hands
cleaner than my feet?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Do you know this to be true? Are you just
saying it with a lot of force?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
A lot of force? Yeah? This to me is like
when people ask like you or say, just let your
dog look it, it'll eel fair. Nope, that is wrong.
Your dog's mouth is full of bacteria.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, there's no way your hands are filthy. Your hands
touch or no? No, what did I say? I said
your feet are grocer? Oh yeah, I said your feet
are grosser than your hands. You wash your hands throughout
the day. You might touch a lot of things, but
you wash your hands many times throughout the day. Okay,
your feet it's sitting a shoe or a sock, or
(09:57):
even if they're not, you don't want There's not a
time throughout the day unless you spill something on your
feet that you wash your feet.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay. So this is really interesting because all of the
discussions are about essentially how often you wash your hands,
and that's really the only determining factor because like once
you put your foot in a sack and a shoe
is relatively like the same all day, but your hands
get way dirtier. But as soon as you wash them.
They're way cleaner than your feet.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, but then why do your feet always Why do
feet always smell all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Because they sweat, But so do your hands. Your hands wet, but.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
You wash them.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
You don't wash your feet, so at the end of
the day your feet are sweaty and gross.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Listen, I know a lot of people around here who
don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom.
So I know, don't act like everybody is so clean
and wash ye, people are disgusting. We all think of
the grossest person that you know, the grossest person. Most
people are about half that gross all the time.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Do you do you know the person in your building
who doesn't wash their and are they and are they
the person most likely to try to do something like
touch you with their hands, like shake your hand, or
like even just like hand on the shoulder really quick
walking by, or like a high five.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
There is a person around here who actually kind of
smells like from a distance, oh no. And the way
that person is always so physically close to me, the
close talker. They're like always being like, oh what are
(11:35):
you doing, like getting involved in conversation, and I'm always
like and then I'm I'm almost like Edward from Twilight,
and I got one good breath in me, and I
try to make it last as long as Like, I
don't talk very much, few words at a time, shallow breathing.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I always, I always am so fearful that that that
I don't want to be that person that i'm I'm like,
I overdo it with like cologne, and I overdo it
with like uh, like I'll cover my mouth if I
think I even a little bit have bad breath or
if I bring now like being in a studio with
somebody is so much different than before that I'm very
(12:15):
like aware of everything, like if my shoes smell or
if if anything, I'm like, hey, can you Like I'll ask, hey.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Does that smell?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Hey? Does this?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Hey? Is this this?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Bruh?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I woke up this morning feeling like I could actually
tear my skin apart because I was so my human.
If I are in my apartment broke, wow, that makes
me sound so young and so cool. So my apartment
is very dry. And I woke up each of you
and dry, and I lathered myself not in like girl ocean, like,
oh my god, I got a day tonight. I want
(12:47):
to smell good, like I want to have smooth skin.
This is like water and that's my skin talking, and
I'm gonna lad it up with something that's going to
make me not want to rip myself into pieces. And
I walked into work and was like, oh my god,
you smell like a nursing home. Like you just smell
like people who have paper thin skin who need to
(13:08):
moistury so that they don't rip apart of the seams.
And I apologize to shit, I said, I can smell.
I can smell the aqua foor all over my body,
and I'm sorry that I know you can smell it too.
I also just googled, like, what's the grossest part of
your body? Nobody's washing their feet in the shower. The
three dirtiest parts of your body that don't get washed
(13:29):
in the shower is behind the ears, between the toes,
and inside of your belly button. What's wrong with people?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, that is gross.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
But if you ever smelled either one of those things,
you ever done it quick swipe and smelled it, You've
never done it.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Never smell behind your ears, you never did one of these. No, Michael,
That's that's how you know.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
It's like well, I think it's because my parents used
to see, you're growing potatoes behind your ears if you
didn't take a shower.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
That was their thing.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Oh you go potatoes behind your ears. So I was like,
you gotta take a show. So like at some point
I was like, no way, and I did it little.
And if it's heated, if it's heated, it's not. I
am very very self conscious, not self conscious self aware,
but also maybe a little self conscious about the way
that I smell, whether it's mouth, whether it's body. I'm
(14:19):
very very I shower every single day because I'm very
very self conscious about it.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Not even self conscious self aware.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
But if it smells, it smells like chocolate, like Hershey's chocolate.
And I'm sorry Hershey's chocolate. I apologize for that, but
that is the smell that it gives behind your ears
for me when it needs to be washed.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
It's a little fun fact about me. You take that
nugget home with you, chaerish it forever. You never think
about a Hershey chocolate bar.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Okay, can I give you my Hershey chocolate bar? Fun
fact that's just like too personal to me, And I'm
sorry if I ruined this for you if you are
the biggest fan of Hershey chocolate bars, like, please don't
listen to this because I'm gonna ruin it.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
It's delicious either way, I still eat them.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I don't think it's I think Hershey's chocolate bar tastes
like vomit. Really just I mean, get the chocolate bar
that you make usmores with. I love the smores. I
love using Hershey chocolate bars for my smortes. But if
you eat a Hershey chocolate bar by itself slight tinge
of vomit.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Hm, I'm gonna have to try.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I'm not like that that is an exact replica of
vomit is not the thing that passes through my mind, right,
but just like a like a splash, a whisper, like
just a whisper of stomach acid.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I'll have to try it. I've never experienced that. I
love a good Hirshey chocolate bar.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
In fact, uh, the kind with the almonds in it,
next level, next level. But now I'm gonna have to
try and and just tests this story.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
You know how I thought I was old because I
had a humidifier in my apartment because it was dry.
I think you surpassed me by saying, I really like
the chocolate bars with almonds in it. Delicious. No they're not,
Yes they are. No, what do you mean is that
almond add what does it add?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
A crunch? A delicious crunch?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Put a pretzel in it?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I mean you could do that too, But they don't
make the Hershey chocolate bars with pretzels in them, do they?
They make different? I forget what it's called. Pay What
is that called? What is the one with the pretzel
in it? Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
My god, we're so old. Have you ever had a
sugar daddy before married?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Jane? To blow or toad blow?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It only class and nickel and it comes down to stick.
You can get it from a venging machine. Do you
remember sugar daddy?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Though? God, I love old people candy. I've never had
a sugar daddy.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Okay, best old people candies hands down. Let's fight about it.
Okay number one, pay Days, number two, sugar daddies number three,
Those strawberry candies with the jelly inserts that you only
find at the bottom of Grandma's purpose or in a weird,
overly cut crystal dish. That is way too nice to have.
Those shitty shitty candies in them.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Uh, how are you going to give top three? And
you're not gonna throw the og Worthers in it. You're
not gonna put a Werthers in the top three.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
But are you going where there's chewables or the hard Worthers?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
No, the hard ones, the solid ones that last in
old grandfather's pockets for ages and ages and ages, and
they always have them no matter where you are, even
if they just ran out and emptied their pockets put
on a new pair of pants at some point. Oh
look at that, I have a Warther's in my pocket.
Of course you do. And it's delicious every single time.
(17:36):
And when you hear a crackle of a bag, you're like, oh,
is that a Werther's bag? No, it's not, But I
thought it was based on nostalgia and greatness of Worthers.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
No, I need a Worther's caramel chewable that has been
in a grandfather's pocket for at least six hours. I
need a body temp all right. If I have put
it in my mouth and it isn't the same temperature
as the inside of my mouth, I don't want it.
I need it all It's almost pre chewed like it
(18:05):
hits your mouth and it's like, we're not melting, but
you don't really have to work that hard.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
What I just said that sounds first off, that doesn't
sound that bad. We just put it like that. It doesn't.
It sounds gross, but it also doesn't sound that bad.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I had over Halloween, I had candy corn for the
first time ever. Because I think it's it looks disgusting,
it looks terrible. I haven't had a say not first
time ever, probably first time since I was a kid,
and I tried it and when this is fucking gross.
But I had it with try it with peanuts. Somebody said,
try it with like actual peanuts. Uh, it's like a butterfinger.
The consistency of the inside of a butterfinger is what
(18:38):
it feels like, a homemade butter finger. I don't know
that it's great or that it tastes good, but immediately
I was like, well, this is much better than I
would have ever guessed this would ever be.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
At what age does it become acceptable to still eat
suckers or lollipops depending on what part of the country
you're in, But like a ring pop and a baby
bottle popp are off the table. So it's the same
same candy, different application to ingestion. I don't know one's tolerated.
(19:09):
One is weird.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
The ring pop is weird.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
The ring pop is weird, And you're right, it's because
of especially if you put it on your finger, you
neat it like that.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Imagine a grown adult walking around just you know.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Same with like the fun dip though, like the fun
dip or or or what is the fruit is it?
It's not fruit by the foot, but it's the bubblegum
where it wraps up like a oh, tape.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Measure hubble bubble, bubble tape.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yes, yes, you see.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You see a grown adult past the age of like
late twenties, early thirties throw out a throw out some
bubble tape, or or try to give you a stick
of fruit stripe and you're like, Okay, what's what's really
going on here?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Fun dip all right back on the table. I feel like,
as an adult, you're allowed to eat fun dip, but
as an adult, you're not allowed to have blue candy
that turns your mouth blue.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Well, fundp is going to do that.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Not It depends on the flavor. I just can't.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I don't know that I can.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I can take myself seriously if I first off, take
the fun dip stick and if swiping it in the
bottom like I'm trying to get the last little bit
of yogurt good, then licking it off like a grown adult.
I just, I just I can't see myself doing that
and being okay with it, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Not the candy question. Why is it that blue candy
turns your mouth blue? Red candy turns your mouth red.
Green candy turns your mouth green. Brown candy, specifically, Tutsi
roll pops does not turn your mouth brown? Well foodoo
magic is in the brown sucker?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Oh wow? Oh wow? I don't I I genuinely don't
know the answer to that.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I don't either, But I just know I'm was smart
for thinking it.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Would you eat it? Would you eat it? Tutsy pop?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Do you think, oh this is this is gonna age me.
I'm gonna tell you this right now, but this one's
gonna aige me. This one's gonna hurt a little bit
when you eat a Tutsi pop sucker? Do you hear
the owl from?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Let me tell you what else is kind of bullshit
when it comes to tutsy roll pop. Wow, this is
just gonna becomes the tuzzy roll pop or the candy episode.
I think you should go straight to jail if you
hand me a tutsi roll pop and there's bubble gum
in the middle and not a.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Tutsi roll oh like the bloops.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
If you hand me a blow pop instead of a
tutsi roll pop, I should either get you want like
a free pop you in the face, like just one
free shot, or you go straight to jail for the night.
One night doesn't go on your record, but you don't
get freedom.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I like the stipulations. I also, and why what do
you have against blow pops? Why don't you like.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
A good Like? When have you ever ate the gum
from a blowpop and thought that's satisfying both in taste
and texture? Because what is that weird gooiness where it's
kind of liquid and you feel like you're gonna choke
on it? It truly is the texture of snot. And
then it's kind of grainy too, which is weird. And
then it turns into gum that lasts for I don't
know five choose before it loses its flavor.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Why, okay, let's continue with this gum thought and the
angry gum thought here, Why have we designed things that
will last your entire lifetime like we designed I can't
even think of something off of the top of my head,
But we've designed things that will last forever, years and
ages even longer than an hour or twenty minutes. But gum,
(22:41):
like you said, cannot last more than thirty seconds in flavor. Why,
what is the reason.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Why hasn't there ever been a gum company that like,
oh my god, million dollar idea of shar take patent copyright.
I feel like I covered on my.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Basis, Yeah, trademark.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Why isn't there a company that sells gum with like
a little liquid dropper on the side and like you
can like drop in your mouse another like a gum flavor?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah, because I that's fucking genius, Because I want the
chomp like I want I want to chew the gum
like I like the action of chewing the gum. But
once the flavor's gone, sucks, sucks, it's no good anymore.
And then there are times where you just have to
keep that gum in your mouth because there's nowhere to
put it.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So you're sitting there chomping nasty ass gum.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
You want to go fifty to fifty with me on that? Yeah,
I think we just became millionaires. Like like, I don't
mean to brag, but I think we just did it right.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
This was it? This was it? Like, Okay, I remember
how this started with? Are they going to pay us
for promoting the app?
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Nope, they don't need to idea We're actually rich.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Now do you have a gum or not a gum?
Do you have a candy? And I know we got
a I don't know if you get a Jedi? What
do you got to do today? But this one quick?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
If you if you gotta go, Uh, what is the
candy that you had as a kid?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Thought it was your favorite? Could eat it every single day.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
But if you were to have it today, you would
you would vomit almost immediately.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I got it?
Speaker 3 (24:17):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Do you remember those toxic waste sour liquid?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yes? Yes, I know what that is.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I was like a crackhead for those as a kid,
A crackhead like I would sniff that out and be like,
s must be in bloodstream now, And if you handed
me one, I would go, h, how do I know.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
What the hell?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
That is because that doesn't sound appealing at all, but yeah,
I remember it.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I remember it a.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Ton absolutely that what's yours? Uh?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You know those hearts, those candy hearts that you can
write you can write phrases on that you get for
Valentine's Day every year. I used to love those, used
to think they were the greatest flavor I could eat.
I could eat them like I mean I can't. I
could used to eat them all day every day, like skittles.
I could just eat them all day every day. But
for some reason, today, if I was to bite a
piece of one of those, it's it's a tombs, and
(25:08):
not the good tombs.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Not the smoothie tombs.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, the Goodum we're really per.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
We are this podcast because straight up I have my
preferable type of tombs, which is something that happens when
you hate your thirties.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I realized I started taking a uh what are they called.
It's airborne but it's like gummies. So I just take
those every morning so I don't get sick. But they're
they're flavored and shaped like my favorite, like one of
my favorite candies, which is gummy worms. So that's why
I eat them every single day.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Okay. Do you ever have somebody hand you something and
you look at it and you go, I'd rather not
have it. Now, I'm gonna give you a few examples. Tampons.
When I I'm in a bathroom and I ask for
a tampon, if you hand me a cardboard applicator or
one that doesn't have an applicator at all, I'd rather
have an accident as a woman. Don't hand me that. Nope,
this it seems like I'm going home immediately.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Can we stop? I have questions about this? Yeah, so
what is that?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
You gotta explain that to me, like I'm a child
who has no idea what that is.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
So tambons come in plastic applicators if you are a
functioning adults, and if you're not, you get cardboard applicators
or some of them have no applicators at all. And
if you hand me one that is not plastic, it
looks like I'm going home right now to change my clothes.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
So I don't want it if I have to buy
these at any point, never get any with cardboard.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Do you love your wife? Do you love your daughter?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I do?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Don't ever do it? All right, because that screams to me,
I hate you and I don't care about you.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Do you get paper cuts?
Speaker 1 (26:38):
No, it's just not that comfortable and they're not that effective.
And then number two, if I ever ask you for
a tons and you hand me a blue container that
has powder anywhere on the inside of it, I'd rather
vomit on myself and have heartburn all day. Give me
the smoothies chewables, or I don't want it.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
It's so true, that's so gross. I had to We
had pizza.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
This is the Aging podcast right here, but we had
pizza and then some spicy margaritas after that, or no,
spicy bloody mary.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Excuse me, that's a ship load right right.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
But I was like, we got this, uh this partner
with with a beard distributor here, and so they gave
me a bunch of these, like it's called cutwater, and yeah,
it's the punch of the strong too incredibly strong, but
uh so, but I got the spicy bloody mary and
you mix that up with a pizza.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Delicious separate together.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Wouldn't do it, wouldn't recommend, uh and them digging through
tombs and all we have.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Is that powdery shit. No, I had to I had
no choice.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
No, I'd rather die. You ever wake up the next
morning and there's so much acid in your veal from
the night before that you're like, I know, but that
didn't even drop out of my stomach, Like it's still
it's still right here.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
You burp, and you feel like a bubble, like a
like a bubbling volcano that the boxy erupted.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You're like, oh, this is how I die.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Yeah, and you like, there's when this happens.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I imagine normal thinking human beings, average everyday human being goes,
you know what, that affected my body in a way
that didn't sit right. I'm just gonna stay away from it,
or I'm gonna eat much less of it so that
it doesn't happen again. And I think none of those things.
I think none of the I think, you know, I
keep pizza again. Actually, I could have pizza today. I
(28:38):
wonder if there's any leftovers. I should have some pizza,
you know what, I'm gonna spicy bloody Marker or bloody
Mary's sound delicious.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Maybe I'll have one for breakfast every time.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
At what point do we just go Yeah, I can't
do that. I can't even wake up and drink anymore.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
I don't do that necessarily anymore.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I don't think that's that's uh, unless unless I'm like,
that's no, I guess I don't really there's a time
where I like, probably early afternoon is when I can start.
I can't start early early in the morning anymore.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
If you see me with a drink in my hand
before three pm, I'm not actually drinking it.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Oh really, Oh, I'm fake.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Sip in it. It is. It is brunch with the girlfriends,
So you can't be the only one I'm drinking or
Saint Patrick's Day, and I need you to know that.
Either way, I'll carry it. I'll make it look like
we're having a blast, not touching that till three pm.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Okay, I'll uh to go along with that. I will.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I'll have I'll have a beverage, right, I'll sip on
it like it's a sip er.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
It's not gonna be anything strong, might be a beer.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
What I'm not doing anymore, and what I'm basically I
think pretty close to being done with in my entire life,
is I don't think I'll ever do a shot again.
It's gonna be very hard for me to ever really
do a shot again, I have no interest in it.
I don't mean I'm not in a hurry to get drunk.
If I get drunk in the day or have drinks
in the day, I'll be in bed by like eight
(30:03):
o'clock and that's not fun. Like I would like to
enjoy the rest of my day, night and then the
next day.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Can you imagine somebody handing you a shot and being
like to the boys, and you're like, what's the rush?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah, guys, we go right, we got all day. What
are we in a hurry for? You got somewhere to drink,
slow down, somewhere to be Like, there's just too many.
There's too many.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Negatives that go on when you get drunk fast. There's
just too many.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I did a shot this weekend and I had a
moment and it wasn't even It was a pink whitney, right,
So that's not even a harsh shot. That's a pretty
easy one. Sure, my life flashed before my eyes.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Like this is it? This is how I go?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I was like, it's been it's been forty seven years
since I've taken a shot, Like what what what led
to this moment? And honestly, not if I'm peer pressure.
I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm okay with like mimosa, I'm okay with. I'm okay
with even an early drink. I'm okay with that as
long as like we're just sipping, like I don't need
to rush. But when shots come out, I that's where
I've hit a point. You know, It's where I hit
a point in my life as I round out my thirties. Here,
that's where I hit a point in my life where
I was done.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
One last question, This is the most eighty D podcast
you've done in a minute. Love it. By the way,
I cannot wait to write the description for this podcast.
It goes from nail clipping to candy to what makes
you at all?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
The most heated and passionate part of it was the candies.
That the candy conversation. What's your question? Wait?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I had it? Oh oh okay. So this weekend I
did a deep clean on my apartment. I reorganized my
kitchen and I found Yes, it's satisfying. Now was not
fun this weekend, but I found like four or five
bottles of champagne, which is a standard, Like your girls
come over for the first time and he's moved. Here's
a housewarming present. Here's a bottle of champagne. Can you,
(32:05):
on a Sunday morning wake up by yourself and open
a bottle of champagne in the house and make mimosas?
Or is that a group activity only? And I know,
before we get into this, when a doctor thinks he
has a problem, you have a problem, they say, do
you drink alone? YadA, YadA, YadA. I don't feel like
I have a problem. I just feel like it is
kind of a Oh it's a Sunday, I've got nothing
(32:27):
to do today. Relax, sit back and enjoy. But I'm
also single, and all my friends live in other places,
and nobody's driving to the city when it's three degrees outside.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I can't do it personally. I'm not a I'm not
a drink alone kind of person.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Same I do.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I frown upon it, not really. If you're just having
a quick bevy, you know what I mean, you're just
sitting around, there's no judgment here by any means.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
But if you're opening champagne, you're drinking the bottle or
you thrown it away.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I mean, yeah, yeah, that's all so uh, that's also
very true. But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I'm a very like like, so I need to be
social like I don't. I don't like I because otherwise
I feel like I'm sitting in a in a not
this is me.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
This is a me thing.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
This isn't like I'm judging everybody else who has a
glass of wine when they get home or a beer
when they do home. I just can't if nobody else
is drinking same. It just I don't know why it puts.
It makes me feel like I'm in a dark place
and in a dark space.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Uh. And it might be why I.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Honestly don't drink that much, but also why if I
have a couple like I'm just I'm having a good
time too.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
It's it's zero to one hundred, Like I won't drink
for four months and then you give me one beer
and it's like, well I might as well have eight.
I say that, I truly say that, before you hit
the ending. Noors. My brother the other day I what
Twist place. His girlfriend was there, his friend was over.
(34:00):
We were gonna be drinking, and he was like, do
you want anything? Because most of the time I'm like, no,
I'm not going to drink, Like I'll just have Do
you have any Arizona Green teas? You know what I mean? Like,
I like, do you have something for me to drink?
And I went, yeah, yeah, I want you to get
me coronas. That bitch bought a six pack because he knew,
and he was right. I had one and a half
and was like, I'm gonna go to bed.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
One is the Pisces and what is the cancer? We
have no idea what that says about them, but we're
sure it's not good. It's a slightly missy show with
Megan and Mine. I did love a good Corona. I
do love a good Modella.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Medelo necro modelo especial.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
But even though it's like I can't have, I couldn't
do a six pack either,
Sick kind a problem, Michael, and I am so sorry
that you faced part of it. There is one joy
of being single with no kids, and it's I have
no real responsibilities.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Go.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
This is the slightly messy show with Mike and Meghan.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
State means a messy show, messy, messy Mike and Megan.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
It's a slightly messy show with Mike and Megan.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And that little girl right there caused me bro on
a daily basis, her and her brother.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I'm bro. Now, hey Bro, I don't want to do this.
Hey bro, excuse me?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Where did that start?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
This last year? This last like the last I don't
know three months. Cecily is about to be U is
about to be eleven, and Mile was about to be
six this year, and so she is. She is coming
into her own, She is becoming independent. She is still
(01:06):
very much in love with her dad like loves me,
but but like we're we're getting our voice, We're getting
our big kid voice, We're getting a yeah, the.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Beginning of the ends. That's what I hear.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
That's what I hear.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And my son just runs around farting and thinks it's
hilarious and calls me, Bro.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Are you a fart or funny household, Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Okay, yeah, we say like we have to be like
you have to say, excuse me, like you.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Can't fight up people, you gotta stop well, because he
would do it.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
We have to tell him.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
There's never like like he doesn't just start fighting on
people and then it goes away.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
If you don't tell him, he'll just keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
And anytime the biggest thing I saw and uh, I
don't know if you were farting in the house household
growing up hilarious, right, always funny, forever funny. So like
when he has a good fart joke or he thinks
of like he hears a fart or season fart, whatever,
he wants to die laughing after every single one. I
(02:08):
saw him restrict himself the other day and I was
so incredibly proud. But that's where we're at right now.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
That's funny until they're too close to me.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
How close are we talking?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
If I'm don't walk in front of me, don't stand
next to me, but be across the room, be on
the other side of the couch. But I will tell
you where my limits are. And it's if I am
in the kitchen and we are cooking. I don't care
you have to step out into another room, like if
you cannot fart where the food is being made.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
That makes sense though, because that's I'm pretty sure that's
how Pink Guy starts.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I don't know that that's true. No, I don't think that.
Do you. You ever played the game I Guess My Fart?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm sorry?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
What it is a It's where you guess the sound
of the fart before the person farts. So if they
have to fart, they feel it coming, they go Guess
my fart, and you would go and then they would fart,
and then if you want to surge it, i'd TikTok.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
It's everywhere.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
The accuracy in a lot of these are next level.
Our next level. They're so good of how well they.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Can guess their partners fart.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
That is a game I do not want to play
with somebody. I'm romantically am off.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
But my wife won't do it either. I don't know why,
but I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
They can be funny, but I still need to see
you without the ick.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
This is the Slightly Messy Show with Megan Mick from
The Mojo in the Morning Show and my name is
Mike from the B ninety three Morning Show. I was
gonna play I Guess my Fart, but we're not gonna
play that game. We're not gonna play that game. We're
not We're not there yet. I don't feel like we're
there yet.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
You make sure you add us on your presets on.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
The iHeartRadio app, save us as your favorite with the
more Mojo podcast.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
The only reason I mentioned that is because.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I think we get paid aid for if we do
really well in those I don't know, probably not.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
If you just told us that so we would promote it.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, I don't think we get paid at all.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
But if you know, if you want more content I
Guess my Fart games, then you should save us on
the the iHeart Radio app.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
What's that commercial where the guy has a dollar bill
on a fishing pone. He's like, Oh, you gotta be
quicker than that. Sometimes I feel like that's how corporate works.
I give you a dollar, gotta be quicker than that.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
They well, I think at some point somebody mentioned. They
didn't really say we get paid for it, but at
some point they met they mentioned like, hey, it would
be really cool if you guys were had the most
in the company.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
And I was like, oh, okay, a little competition. I
like that.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And then we started going and I was like, well,
hold on, what do we get if we are the best,
If we are if we are the have the most presets,
what do we get?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
You get? What's up?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You lose?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, you get not that good, Disa.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So you were telling me about this before we started
the podcast, and it's something that I do in a
daily basis. Not anymore because I'm in a studio with
a person that I'm still getting to know. But I
used to do this all the time when I would
sit in this the SNX studio For those who don't know,
I used to be on odes in the morning. I
(05:26):
would sit in the SNX studios and Grand Rapids. You
couldn't see me. It was just me in this studio.
Why don't you explain what you're talking about? And I'll
explain why this isn't that big of a deal.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I fear for your co hosts, and I'm going to
reach out to her and see if she's doing okay.
So I was in our new offices. Our new offices
are set up a different way where there's not that
many offices anymore. They're more like open space cubicles, but
the walls go up like kind of higher than I expected,
so you get a little bit of privacy. And there
(05:58):
was a I'm trying to keep it as vague as possible,
but we'll just say a woman who did not realize
that I was sitting at one of the desks right,
because they're not assigned. You can like work at any
computer that is available. And so I was just sitting there.
I had headphones plugged in, sitting quietly listening to something,
and this person walks in, sits down at the cubicle
(06:22):
directly across from me, and is working right there on
a call. And then I just hear click, clea, clea.
And if you're wondering what that click is, it is
them cutting their fingernails at their desk. Okay, okay, because
(06:43):
there are bathroom activities and there are office activities, and
very few of those things overlap. And cutting your nails
is not a while you're driving activity, it's not an
in the kitchen activity, and it sures how well, is
not at your desk at work activity that is strictly
(07:04):
bathroom activity.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Now, let me ask a question, were they doing it
over a trash can, or were they just putting it
on like the desk shavings.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
I don't care clippings.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's gross and it belongs in your bathroom.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I'll tell you what I'm not walking around with.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
If I didn't have time, if I didn't have time
running out the door this morning, like my nails right now,
could be it looks like I know for a fact,
I definitely cut a couple of them and then didn't
clip the rest because I was in a hurry.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I could tell, I could see it in my hands.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I would I would take this trash can that's sitting
right next to me right now, let's set it right
here in front of me like this, and I would
just clip right over top of them.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I don't see a big deal with that.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
There are things that when they're attached to your body
are okay, and when they're not attached to your body
are not okay. Right, I'll give you examples. Nails is
the first one we started there, attached to your hands, okay,
No longer attached to your your phalangies. I don't I
don't want to see it. I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to nothing. I don't care where it is.
(08:08):
Do it at home, unianderthal. The other thing. Hair on
your head, that's fine, it's clean. I'll touch it, I'll
play with it, I'll braid it, I'll brush it. Hair
off of your head. I don't want it, shouldn't exist.
It's so gross and disgusting.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Like arm hair, even because I feel like that's the
simplest of hair.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Any hair not attached to your body is disgusting.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Oh any hair when, oh, once it comes off of
your body.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Correct?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Oh, okay, I got you, got you? Got you get
on your head?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Fine, off of your head.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I don't know why, but I see a difference in
hair and nails. I don't think nails is that big
of a deal. I think toenails are a big deal.
I think toenails are disgusting.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Your feet are clearer than your hands. And I'm not
even justifying it, but your reasoning is wrong.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Your feet are not cleaner in your hands. There's no
way that's true. There's no way your feet are cleaner
than your hands.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Okay, So I don't know if you know this, but
they invented this thing called Google, and I'll need you
to open it. Up now and google. Are my hands
cleaner than my feet?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Do you know this to be true? Are you just
saying it with a lot of force?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
A lot of force? Yeah? This to me is like
when people ask like you or say, just let your
dog look it, it'll eel fair. Nope, that is wrong.
Your dog's mouth is full of bacteria.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, there's no way your hands are filthy. Your hands
touch or no? No, what did I say? I said
your feet are grocer? Oh yeah, I said your feet
are grosser than your hands. You wash your hands throughout
the day. You might touch a lot of things, but
you wash your hands many times throughout the day. Okay,
your feet it's sitting a shoe or a sock, or
(09:57):
even if they're not, you don't want There's not a
time throughout the day unless you spill something on your
feet that you wash your feet.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay. So this is really interesting because all of the
discussions are about essentially how often you wash your hands,
and that's really the only determining factor because like once
you put your foot in a sack and a shoe
is relatively like the same all day, but your hands
get way dirtier. But as soon as you wash them.
They're way cleaner than your feet.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, but then why do your feet always Why do
feet always smell all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Because they sweat, But so do your hands. Your hands wet, but.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
You wash them.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
You don't wash your feet, so at the end of
the day your feet are sweaty and gross.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Listen, I know a lot of people around here who
don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom.
So I know, don't act like everybody is so clean
and wash ye, people are disgusting. We all think of
the grossest person that you know, the grossest person. Most
people are about half that gross all the time.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Do you do you know the person in your building
who doesn't wash their and are they and are they
the person most likely to try to do something like
touch you with their hands, like shake your hand, or
like even just like hand on the shoulder really quick
walking by, or like a high five.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
There is a person around here who actually kind of
smells like from a distance, oh no. And the way
that person is always so physically close to me, the
close talker. They're like always being like, oh what are
(11:35):
you doing, like getting involved in conversation, and I'm always
like and then I'm I'm almost like Edward from Twilight,
and I got one good breath in me, and I
try to make it last as long as Like, I
don't talk very much, few words at a time, shallow breathing.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I always, I always am so fearful that that that
I don't want to be that person that i'm I'm like,
I overdo it with like cologne, and I overdo it
with like uh, like I'll cover my mouth if I
think I even a little bit have bad breath or
if I bring now like being in a studio with
somebody is so much different than before that I'm very
(12:15):
like aware of everything, like if my shoes smell or
if if anything, I'm like, hey, can you Like I'll ask, hey.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Does that smell?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Hey? Does this?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Hey? Is this this?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Bruh?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I woke up this morning feeling like I could actually
tear my skin apart because I was so my human.
If I are in my apartment broke, wow, that makes
me sound so young and so cool. So my apartment
is very dry. And I woke up each of you
and dry, and I lathered myself not in like girl ocean, like,
oh my god, I got a day tonight. I want
(12:47):
to smell good, like I want to have smooth skin.
This is like water and that's my skin talking, and
I'm gonna lad it up with something that's going to
make me not want to rip myself into pieces. And
I walked into work and was like, oh my god,
you smell like a nursing home. Like you just smell
like people who have paper thin skin who need to
(13:08):
moistury so that they don't rip apart of the seams.
And I apologize to shit, I said, I can smell.
I can smell the aqua foor all over my body,
and I'm sorry that I know you can smell it too.
I also just googled, like, what's the grossest part of
your body? Nobody's washing their feet in the shower. The
three dirtiest parts of your body that don't get washed
(13:29):
in the shower is behind the ears, between the toes,
and inside of your belly button. What's wrong with people?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, that is gross.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
But if you ever smelled either one of those things,
you ever done it quick swipe and smelled it, You've
never done it.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Never smell behind your ears, you never did one of these. No, Michael,
That's that's how you know.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
It's like well, I think it's because my parents used
to see, you're growing potatoes behind your ears if you
didn't take a shower.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
That was their thing.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Oh you go potatoes behind your ears. So I was like,
you gotta take a show. So like at some point
I was like, no way, and I did it little.
And if it's heated, if it's heated, it's not. I
am very very self conscious, not self conscious self aware,
but also maybe a little self conscious about the way
that I smell, whether it's mouth, whether it's body. I'm
(14:19):
very very I shower every single day because I'm very
very self conscious about it.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Not even self conscious self aware.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
But if it smells, it smells like chocolate, like Hershey's chocolate.
And I'm sorry Hershey's chocolate. I apologize for that, but
that is the smell that it gives behind your ears
for me when it needs to be washed.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
It's a little fun fact about me. You take that
nugget home with you, chaerish it forever. You never think
about a Hershey chocolate bar.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Okay, can I give you my Hershey chocolate bar? Fun
fact that's just like too personal to me, And I'm
sorry if I ruined this for you if you are
the biggest fan of Hershey chocolate bars, like, please don't
listen to this because I'm gonna ruin it.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
It's delicious either way, I still eat them.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I don't think it's I think Hershey's chocolate bar tastes
like vomit. Really just I mean, get the chocolate bar
that you make usmores with. I love the smores. I
love using Hershey chocolate bars for my smortes. But if
you eat a Hershey chocolate bar by itself slight tinge
of vomit.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Hm, I'm gonna have to try.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I'm not like that that is an exact replica of
vomit is not the thing that passes through my mind, right,
but just like a like a splash, a whisper, like
just a whisper of stomach acid.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I'll have to try it. I've never experienced that. I
love a good Hirshey chocolate bar.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
In fact, uh, the kind with the almonds in it,
next level, next level. But now I'm gonna have to
try and and just tests this story.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
You know how I thought I was old because I
had a humidifier in my apartment because it was dry.
I think you surpassed me by saying, I really like
the chocolate bars with almonds in it. Delicious. No they're not,
Yes they are. No, what do you mean is that
almond add what does it add?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
A crunch? A delicious crunch?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Put a pretzel in it?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I mean you could do that too, But they don't
make the Hershey chocolate bars with pretzels in them, do they?
They make different? I forget what it's called. Pay What
is that called? What is the one with the pretzel
in it? Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
My god, we're so old. Have you ever had a
sugar daddy before married?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Jane? To blow or toad blow?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It only class and nickel and it comes down to stick.
You can get it from a venging machine. Do you
remember sugar daddy?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Though? God, I love old people candy. I've never had
a sugar daddy.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Okay, best old people candies hands down. Let's fight about it.
Okay number one, pay Days, number two, sugar daddies number three,
Those strawberry candies with the jelly inserts that you only
find at the bottom of Grandma's purpose or in a weird,
overly cut crystal dish. That is way too nice to have.
Those shitty shitty candies in them.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Uh, how are you going to give top three? And
you're not gonna throw the og Worthers in it. You're
not gonna put a Werthers in the top three.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
But are you going where there's chewables or the hard Worthers?
Speaker 2 (17:15):
No, the hard ones, the solid ones that last in
old grandfather's pockets for ages and ages and ages, and
they always have them no matter where you are, even
if they just ran out and emptied their pockets put
on a new pair of pants at some point. Oh
look at that, I have a Warther's in my pocket.
Of course you do. And it's delicious every single time.
(17:36):
And when you hear a crackle of a bag, you're like, oh,
is that a Werther's bag? No, it's not, But I
thought it was based on nostalgia and greatness of Worthers.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
No, I need a Worther's caramel chewable that has been
in a grandfather's pocket for at least six hours. I
need a body temp all right. If I have put
it in my mouth and it isn't the same temperature
as the inside of my mouth, I don't want it.
I need it all It's almost pre chewed like it
(18:05):
hits your mouth and it's like, we're not melting, but
you don't really have to work that hard.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
What I just said that sounds first off, that doesn't
sound that bad. We just put it like that. It doesn't.
It sounds gross, but it also doesn't sound that bad.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I had over Halloween, I had candy corn for the
first time ever. Because I think it's it looks disgusting,
it looks terrible. I haven't had a say not first
time ever, probably first time since I was a kid,
and I tried it and when this is fucking gross.
But I had it with try it with peanuts. Somebody said,
try it with like actual peanuts. Uh, it's like a butterfinger.
The consistency of the inside of a butterfinger is what
(18:38):
it feels like, a homemade butter finger. I don't know
that it's great or that it tastes good, but immediately
I was like, well, this is much better than I
would have ever guessed this would ever be.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
At what age does it become acceptable to still eat
suckers or lollipops depending on what part of the country
you're in, But like a ring pop and a baby
bottle popp are off the table. So it's the same
same candy, different application to ingestion. I don't know one's tolerated.
(19:09):
One is weird.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
The ring pop is weird.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
The ring pop is weird, And you're right, it's because
of especially if you put it on your finger, you
neat it like that.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Imagine a grown adult walking around just you know.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Same with like the fun dip though, like the fun
dip or or or what is the fruit is it?
It's not fruit by the foot, but it's the bubblegum
where it wraps up like a oh, tape.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Measure hubble bubble, bubble tape.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yes, yes, you see.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You see a grown adult past the age of like
late twenties, early thirties throw out a throw out some
bubble tape, or or try to give you a stick
of fruit stripe and you're like, Okay, what's what's really
going on here?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Fun dip all right back on the table. I feel like,
as an adult, you're allowed to eat fun dip, but
as an adult, you're not allowed to have blue candy
that turns your mouth blue.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Well, fundp is going to do that.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Not It depends on the flavor. I just can't.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I don't know that I can.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I can take myself seriously if I first off, take
the fun dip stick and if swiping it in the
bottom like I'm trying to get the last little bit
of yogurt good, then licking it off like a grown adult.
I just, I just I can't see myself doing that
and being okay with it, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Not the candy question. Why is it that blue candy
turns your mouth blue? Red candy turns your mouth red.
Green candy turns your mouth green. Brown candy, specifically, Tutsi
roll pops does not turn your mouth brown? Well foodoo
magic is in the brown sucker?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Oh wow? Oh wow? I don't I I genuinely don't
know the answer to that.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I don't either, But I just know I'm was smart
for thinking it.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Would you eat it? Would you eat it? Tutsy pop?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Do you think, oh this is this is gonna age me.
I'm gonna tell you this right now, but this one's
gonna aige me. This one's gonna hurt a little bit
when you eat a Tutsi pop sucker? Do you hear
the owl from?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Let me tell you what else is kind of bullshit
when it comes to tutsy roll pop. Wow, this is
just gonna becomes the tuzzy roll pop or the candy episode.
I think you should go straight to jail if you
hand me a tutsi roll pop and there's bubble gum
in the middle and not a.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Tutsi roll oh like the bloops.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
If you hand me a blow pop instead of a
tutsi roll pop, I should either get you want like
a free pop you in the face, like just one
free shot, or you go straight to jail for the night.
One night doesn't go on your record, but you don't
get freedom.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I like the stipulations. I also, and why what do
you have against blow pops? Why don't you like.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
A good Like? When have you ever ate the gum
from a blowpop and thought that's satisfying both in taste
and texture? Because what is that weird gooiness where it's
kind of liquid and you feel like you're gonna choke
on it? It truly is the texture of snot. And
then it's kind of grainy too, which is weird. And
then it turns into gum that lasts for I don't
know five choose before it loses its flavor.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Why, okay, let's continue with this gum thought and the
angry gum thought here, Why have we designed things that
will last your entire lifetime like we designed I can't
even think of something off of the top of my head,
But we've designed things that will last forever, years and
ages even longer than an hour or twenty minutes. But gum,
(22:41):
like you said, cannot last more than thirty seconds in flavor. Why,
what is the reason.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Why hasn't there ever been a gum company that like,
oh my god, million dollar idea of shar take patent copyright.
I feel like I covered on my.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Basis, Yeah, trademark.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Why isn't there a company that sells gum with like
a little liquid dropper on the side and like you
can like drop in your mouse another like a gum flavor?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah, because I that's fucking genius, Because I want the
chomp like I want I want to chew the gum
like I like the action of chewing the gum. But
once the flavor's gone, sucks, sucks, it's no good anymore.
And then there are times where you just have to
keep that gum in your mouth because there's nowhere to
put it.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
So you're sitting there chomping nasty ass gum.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
You want to go fifty to fifty with me on that? Yeah,
I think we just became millionaires. Like like, I don't
mean to brag, but I think we just did it right.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
This was it? This was it? Like, Okay, I remember
how this started with? Are they going to pay us
for promoting the app?
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Nope, they don't need to idea We're actually rich.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Now do you have a gum or not a gum?
Do you have a candy? And I know we got
a I don't know if you get a Jedi? What
do you got to do today? But this one quick?
Speaker 2 (24:01):
If you if you gotta go, Uh, what is the
candy that you had as a kid?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Thought it was your favorite? Could eat it every single day.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
But if you were to have it today, you would
you would vomit almost immediately.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I got it?
Speaker 3 (24:17):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Do you remember those toxic waste sour liquid?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yes? Yes, I know what that is.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
I was like a crackhead for those as a kid,
A crackhead like I would sniff that out and be like,
s must be in bloodstream now, And if you handed
me one, I would go, h, how do I know.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
What the hell?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
That is because that doesn't sound appealing at all, but yeah,
I remember it.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I remember it a.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Ton absolutely that what's yours? Uh?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
You know those hearts, those candy hearts that you can
write you can write phrases on that you get for
Valentine's Day every year. I used to love those, used
to think they were the greatest flavor I could eat.
I could eat them like I mean I can't. I
could used to eat them all day every day, like skittles.
I could just eat them all day every day. But
for some reason, today, if I was to bite a
piece of one of those, it's it's a tombs, and
(25:08):
not the good tombs.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Not the smoothie tombs.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, the Goodum we're really per.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
We are this podcast because straight up I have my
preferable type of tombs, which is something that happens when
you hate your thirties.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I realized I started taking a uh what are they called.
It's airborne but it's like gummies. So I just take
those every morning so I don't get sick. But they're
they're flavored and shaped like my favorite, like one of
my favorite candies, which is gummy worms. So that's why
I eat them every single day.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Okay. Do you ever have somebody hand you something and
you look at it and you go, I'd rather not
have it. Now, I'm gonna give you a few examples. Tampons.
When I I'm in a bathroom and I ask for
a tampon, if you hand me a cardboard applicator or
one that doesn't have an applicator at all, I'd rather
have an accident as a woman. Don't hand me that. Nope,
this it seems like I'm going home immediately.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Can we stop? I have questions about this? Yeah, so
what is that?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
You gotta explain that to me, like I'm a child
who has no idea what that is.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
So tambons come in plastic applicators if you are a
functioning adults, and if you're not, you get cardboard applicators
or some of them have no applicators at all. And
if you hand me one that is not plastic, it
looks like I'm going home right now to change my clothes.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
So I don't want it if I have to buy
these at any point, never get any with cardboard.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Do you love your wife? Do you love your daughter?
Speaker 3 (26:31):
I do?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Don't ever do it? All right, because that screams to me,
I hate you and I don't care about you.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Do you get paper cuts?
Speaker 1 (26:38):
No, it's just not that comfortable and they're not that effective.
And then number two, if I ever ask you for
a tons and you hand me a blue container that
has powder anywhere on the inside of it, I'd rather
vomit on myself and have heartburn all day. Give me
the smoothies chewables, or I don't want it.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
It's so true, that's so gross. I had to We
had pizza.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
This is the Aging podcast right here, but we had
pizza and then some spicy margaritas after that, or no,
spicy bloody mary.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Excuse me, that's a ship load right right.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
But I was like, we got this, uh this partner
with with a beard distributor here, and so they gave
me a bunch of these, like it's called cutwater, and yeah,
it's the punch of the strong too incredibly strong, but
uh so, but I got the spicy bloody mary and
you mix that up with a pizza.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Delicious separate together.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Wouldn't do it, wouldn't recommend, uh and them digging through
tombs and all we have.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Is that powdery shit. No, I had to I had
no choice.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
No, I'd rather die. You ever wake up the next
morning and there's so much acid in your veal from
the night before that you're like, I know, but that
didn't even drop out of my stomach, Like it's still
it's still right here.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
You burp, and you feel like a bubble, like a
like a bubbling volcano that the boxy erupted.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You're like, oh, this is how I die.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Yeah, and you like, there's when this happens.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I imagine normal thinking human beings, average everyday human being goes,
you know what, that affected my body in a way
that didn't sit right. I'm just gonna stay away from it,
or I'm gonna eat much less of it so that
it doesn't happen again. And I think none of those things.
I think none of the I think, you know, I
keep pizza again. Actually, I could have pizza today. I
(28:38):
wonder if there's any leftovers. I should have some pizza,
you know what, I'm gonna spicy bloody Marker or bloody
Mary's sound delicious.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Maybe I'll have one for breakfast every time.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
At what point do we just go Yeah, I can't
do that. I can't even wake up and drink anymore.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
I don't do that necessarily anymore.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I don't think that's that's uh, unless unless I'm like,
that's no, I guess I don't really there's a time
where I like, probably early afternoon is when I can start.
I can't start early early in the morning anymore.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
If you see me with a drink in my hand
before three pm, I'm not actually drinking it.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Oh really, Oh, I'm fake.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Sip in it. It is. It is brunch with the girlfriends,
So you can't be the only one I'm drinking or
Saint Patrick's Day, and I need you to know that.
Either way, I'll carry it. I'll make it look like
we're having a blast, not touching that till three pm.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Okay, I'll uh to go along with that. I will.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I'll have I'll have a beverage, right, I'll sip on
it like it's a sip er.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
It's not gonna be anything strong, might be a beer.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
What I'm not doing anymore, and what I'm basically I
think pretty close to being done with in my entire life,
is I don't think I'll ever do a shot again.
It's gonna be very hard for me to ever really
do a shot again, I have no interest in it.
I don't mean I'm not in a hurry to get drunk.
If I get drunk in the day or have drinks
in the day, I'll be in bed by like eight
(30:03):
o'clock and that's not fun. Like I would like to
enjoy the rest of my day, night and then the
next day.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Can you imagine somebody handing you a shot and being
like to the boys, and you're like, what's the rush?
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah, guys, we go right, we got all day. What
are we in a hurry for? You got somewhere to drink,
slow down, somewhere to be Like, there's just too many.
There's too many.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Negatives that go on when you get drunk fast. There's
just too many.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I did a shot this weekend and I had a
moment and it wasn't even It was a pink whitney, right,
So that's not even a harsh shot. That's a pretty
easy one. Sure, my life flashed before my eyes.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Like this is it? This is how I go?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I was like, it's been it's been forty seven years
since I've taken a shot, Like what what what led
to this moment? And honestly, not if I'm peer pressure.
I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm okay with like mimosa, I'm okay with. I'm okay
with even an early drink. I'm okay with that as
long as like we're just sipping, like I don't need
to rush. But when shots come out, I that's where
I've hit a point. You know, It's where I hit
a point in my life as I round out my thirties. Here,
that's where I hit a point in my life where
I was done.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
One last question, This is the most eighty D podcast
you've done in a minute. Love it. By the way,
I cannot wait to write the description for this podcast.
It goes from nail clipping to candy to what makes
you at all?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
The most heated and passionate part of it was the candies.
That the candy conversation. What's your question? Wait?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
I had it? Oh oh okay. So this weekend I
did a deep clean on my apartment. I reorganized my
kitchen and I found Yes, it's satisfying. Now was not
fun this weekend, but I found like four or five
bottles of champagne, which is a standard, Like your girls
come over for the first time and he's moved. Here's
a housewarming present. Here's a bottle of champagne. Can you,
(32:05):
on a Sunday morning wake up by yourself and open
a bottle of champagne in the house and make mimosas?
Or is that a group activity only? And I know,
before we get into this, when a doctor thinks he
has a problem, you have a problem, they say, do
you drink alone? YadA, YadA, YadA. I don't feel like
I have a problem. I just feel like it is
kind of a Oh it's a Sunday, I've got nothing
(32:27):
to do today. Relax, sit back and enjoy. But I'm
also single, and all my friends live in other places,
and nobody's driving to the city when it's three degrees outside.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I can't do it personally. I'm not a I'm not
a drink alone kind of person.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Same I do.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I frown upon it, not really. If you're just having
a quick bevy, you know what I mean, you're just
sitting around, there's no judgment here by any means.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
But if you're opening champagne, you're drinking the bottle or
you thrown it away.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I mean, yeah, yeah, that's all so uh, that's also
very true. But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I'm a very like like, so I need to be
social like I don't. I don't like I because otherwise
I feel like I'm sitting in a in a not
this is me.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
This is a me thing.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
This isn't like I'm judging everybody else who has a
glass of wine when they get home or a beer
when they do home. I just can't if nobody else
is drinking same. It just I don't know why it puts.
It makes me feel like I'm in a dark place
and in a dark space.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Uh. And it might be why I.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Honestly don't drink that much, but also why if I
have a couple like I'm just I'm having a good
time too.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
It's it's zero to one hundred, Like I won't drink
for four months and then you give me one beer
and it's like, well I might as well have eight.
I say that, I truly say that, before you hit
the ending. Noors. My brother the other day I what
Twist place. His girlfriend was there, his friend was over.
(34:00):
We were gonna be drinking, and he was like, do
you want anything? Because most of the time I'm like, no,
I'm not going to drink, Like I'll just have Do
you have any Arizona Green teas? You know what I mean? Like,
I like, do you have something for me to drink?
And I went, yeah, yeah, I want you to get
me coronas. That bitch bought a six pack because he knew,
and he was right. I had one and a half
and was like, I'm gonna go to bed.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
One is the Pisces and what is the cancer? We
have no idea what that says about them, but we're
sure it's not good. It's a slightly missy show with
Megan and Mine. I did love a good Corona. I
do love a good Modella.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Medelo necro modelo especial.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
But even though it's like I can't have, I couldn't
do a six pack either,
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